#it would be so on brand for erika to come in cause chaos and help the gays figure their shit out and leave | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

susiequaz12 · 3 years

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Carrot Top 25- Panic

And here we have the next installment of Carrot Top’s story. Enjoy a nice filler, full of some fluff/comfort. And a little bit of angst, of course. Masterlist is here. Previous chapter here.

CW: Panic/anxiety attack, reference/description to injuries.

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Mickie didn’t know how long it had been when she heard softer footsteps approach and pause in the doorway.

She glanced up to see Ali, leaning heavily against the door frame, and Mickie wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Ali’s face was pale and her eyes squinted in the bright bathroom lights. She came and sat next to Mickie on the floor.

“Hey- are you-”

Instantly Mickie broke down again into uncontrollable sobs. She sat there, frozen, until Ali pulled her close, wrapping her arms around the girl.

“I- I, he-”

“Shh- Mickie, shh. It’s okay- Tusik’s got him. We’ve got him, he’s home okay?”

“I know, I- I just-”

“You wished you could have done something more, I know. We all do. We all wished we could have gotten to him sooner, or that this never would’ve happened in the first place.”

“He just- I should’ve- he-” Mickie could barely make out a few words at a time before her voice was cut off by sobs once again.

“Don’t think of that now, okay? Just- here-” She shifted so the girl was laying more comfortably against her, head in her neck, arms around her back. “Just- just cry. Okay? It’s okay, I got you. Just let it all out, and then we’ll take the next step from here.”

Tears had been streaming down Mickie’s face for a while, but now, she didn’t try to hold anything back. She let the full amounts of grief, pain, worry, and fear completely overtake her. Ali cradled her head as she wailed, choking on the tears and cries as her body shook and shivered.

Ali understood how she felt. She’d be sobbing too, but she was too exhausted for tears.

It didn’t seem like Mickie would ever stop crying. At first it was just the tears, and cries, but then her breathing began to get shorter, and faster. She was choking on her breaths and she began to tremble and shake in Ali’s arms.

It was like she was shivering, but sweat was pouring down her forehead. She began to grasp at things uselessly, the back of Ali’s sweatshirt, the edge of the tub, her hair. She sat up quickly, pulling herself away from Ali and scrambling backwards as she dug her hands in her hair. Her eyes stared out blankly in confusion, red with tears and her face twisted into sobs.

She shook her head as her chest hitched, unable to catch a full breath.

“I- I- it- I, it- it hurts, I-” She stammered as Ali came closer to her again. “I- I can’t breathe-”

She tried to stand up but her legs wouldn’t listen and she collapsed underneath herself. It was like she was trapped inside of her mind. She gripped tightly onto her clothes, trying to grasp onto something that felt real, when the whole world was spinning around her. Her head pounded, her chest throbbed, and all her muscles felt too weak to do anything she told them too. She felt like she was being stabbed, or shocked, or- or something.

It hurt.

Was she dying?

She looked up tearfully into Ali’s eyes as she struggled for breath, and uttered a single world.

“H-help-”

Ali placed her hands over Mickie’s where they sat tangled in her hair. She placed her forehead against the girl’s, breathed deep, and entered her mind.

Mickie was spiraling. Ali could see all of her thoughts, as if she had entered a giant, empty arena, with Mickie standing in the middle. On one side of her was Splice, standing with a knife in his hand, aimed towards the other figure on her other side- Andrew.

As Ali watched closer, the object in Splice’s hand kept shifting. One moment it was a knife, and then it transitioned to a pistol, a whip, a cane, a length of rope. As she watched his weapons changed, Andrew’s injuries changed as well. He was shot, collapsed on the ground. He was beaten, tied up, choked. The further it went on, the worse things Splice did to Andrew.

As she watched, Ali did her best to keep her breathing even and her focus steady. If she lost control, she would be shot out of Mickie’s mind, and it would be harder to reenter. But as she witnessed terrible things that Mickie was imagining, it became harder to stay focused.

She had to change it.

Ali approached Mickie where she stood in the center, eyes wide open with tears, watching everything that she imagined happening to her brother. She placed her hands on the girl’s head and began searching her mind for memories.

She started at the beginning.

Mickie’s earliest memory was at her third birthday party. Andrew was seven, and amused by the fact that she couldn’t blow out her candles, so he had done it for her. She got upset, threw cake at him, and chaos ensued.

Ali tugged at this memory, and soon in the back of Mickie’s mind, the two small figures of children appeared, sitting on the ground with a cake in between them. Faint echoes of laughter and screaming could be heard behind the girl’s sobs. It was working.

Ali rifled through more memories, finding it hard to ignore the one’s of her dad leaving, her mom struggling through abusive boyfriends, the loneliness and lack of money, and instead focused on how despite it all, she had clung to her older brother. Her best friend, and most times, her only friend, until seven years after that third birthday party.

Mickie and Andrew were sitting in a hospital waiting room. He sat, failing to do his homework while Mickie played with some toys. They had been there since school got out, and hadn’t had dinner yet. Micike was hungry. Andrew was nervous.

After a few more painful hours, a nurse finally told them they were allowed to go see their mother. Mickie walked in nervously behind her brother, but was soon left in the doorway as he rushed over to the bed where she lay, a small bundle, lying tightly in her arms.

“She’s- she’s kinda wrinkly-” Andrew stated. Their mom let out a tired chuckle.

“Mickie- come meet your sister.”

The girl bounced on over to the bed and peeked at the baby. She knew she was going to have a sister, but other than that, she didn’t know what to expect. She guess she assumed it would’ve had her and her brother’s same fiery hair like their dad, same pale skin and freckles like their mom.

The baby had a full head of hair- it was curly like theirs, but dark. A little darker than their mother’s natural brown. And maybe it was just cause the baby was brand new, but her skin was a tad darker too. Mickie was a little confused, but it didn’t matter much. She had a sister.

“What’s- what’s her name?” She quietly asked.

“Erika.” Her mom said.

“And we- we get to take her home?”

“She’s healthy?” Andrew asked.

“She’s a little small, but she’s strong.” Mickie twisted her hands in her shirt, and peered over the bed.

“Mickie? Would you like to hold your sister?”

Ali smiled as the memory ended, and the figures in the distance grew, a smaller child appearing between the two of them. The laughter and voices grew louder, and Splice’s figure was starting to fade.

She fast forwarded to a more recent memory. Just a few years prior, Mickie’s first day of high school, and Andrew’s first day of their senior year.

Their mom had left for work several hours before they had to leave for school. Andrew was tired, but he had gotten up anyways and started getting Erika ready. She was sitting in the empty bathtub, eating toast and jam while Andrew tried to tame his hair.

Mickie stood in the doorway, and tried to run tangled fingers through the mess on her head. Without saying anything Andrew sighed, and motioned for her to sit on the floor. He sat on the toilet, with her on the ground in front of him and took a thick comb to try and figure out all the tangles.

Ericka’s hair was easy. It was smooth, and shiny, and even though she was only four, she knew how to brush it herself and leave it down for the whole day. Mickie was fourteen, and her hair was constantly a mess.

“I should just cut it all off.” She said.

“Shave your head- do it.”

“I’m not gonna shave my head. Just like, cut it shorter or something.”

“My hair is short, and it is still a tangled mess. At least when it’s long you can put it up or do something with it.”

“That’s fair- ow, careful!” Mickie winced as he pulled at a tough strand of hair.

“Sorry- you had a knot. Do you want me to braid it?”

“Yeah, it’ll keep it out of the way.”

Andrew carefully used the comb to pull her hair back, and within a couple of minutes he’d gathered it all into a neat braid, running into the middle of her back. She ran her hand along it when he was done, and then stood up to look in the mirror.

She sighed as her shoulders fell.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I- I look like a moose.”

“Yeah-”

“Hey, what-”

“-but a cute moose. Make all the boy moose go WHAAAH.”

She slapped him on the arm and chuckled.

“Moose!” Erika stated. She started mooing from inside the tub and the three of them laughed. Andrew picked her up and washed off her hands from the toast she was eating.

“Come on, let’s finish getting ready.”

Ali watched the three figures slowly become larger, coming closer to the middle. Splice had completely faded away now. And the sobs from Mickie had grown quieter. Andrew lay on the ground, collapsed. He looked the same, if not worse than when they found him.

As the figures of herself and her brother from her memories came closer, they helped to pull Andrew to his feet. Slowly, his injuries faded away as Mickie pulled him into a hug and held onto him tight.

The four figures melted into two, Mickie’s sobbing finally stopped, and Ali’s vision went black.

As she came to, Ali placed a hand on the edge of the tub to keep herself from falling over as she left Mickie’s mind. She could feel a slight pounding behind her eyes, and took a couple of seconds to catch her breath before standing up and grabbing a glass of water.

Mickie had her eyes closed, sitting back against the tub, and took in deep breaths. She finally felt like she could get enough air into her lungs. It had seemed like she was underwater. Drowning without enough air, and not knowing which way was up or down.

She sniffled and wiped some last tears from her eyes.

“Thank you, I- I don’t know what happened, I, I lost all control, and it-”

“It was a panic attack.” Ali said casually. She plopped on the ground and handed Mickie the cup. “Drink up- you don’t want to get dehydrated.”

“I- I couldn’t stop thinking about, about all the things that could’ve happened. Everything he could’ve done to him- and if we hadn’t gotten there, or gotten out, or-”

“But we did. We got him out. Tusik has him, and he’s being taken care of. I know it’s hard not to think of all of those things, but you have to realize there’s nothing you can do about what happened. It happened. All you can now do is focus on his recovery, and help how you can.”

“You’re right. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“How did you- I mean, how can I- can I keep myself from, from that happening again. The- the panic attack?”

“Most of the time you can’t keep it from happening.” Ali stated. Mickie’s eyes got wide from behind the cup as she drank. “I know, it sucks. I deal with them all the time, but you get used to it. They’ll get easier.”

“So how do I deal with it?”

“Well, there’s numerous ways. Grounding techniques, exercises to keep you from spiraling. When I was there, in your mind, I saw what you were feeling. I tried to pull from your past memories to block out the negative thoughts, and it seemed to work. I’ve done something similar before, but never exactly like that. I guess, when it’s just you, try and block it out before the thoughts come? Think of those good memories, the good experiences to push out the bad and reassure yourself. I’m- I’m not sure. Everyone else’s mind is so different from mine, so you gotta figure out what works for you.”

“I guess I can try that. I’ll just have to figure it out.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Ali had regained some strength, and Mickie had finished her water. Mickie set the cup down on the counter and stood by the door.

“Ali?”

The girl lifted her head.

“Do you- do you think you could do that with Andrew? Like, go into his mind? He’s just- he seems so scared, and confused, and I think it’ll help.”

“You’re right Mickie. It’ll also help Tusik to know what happened, and how he can take care of him.”

Mickie perked up and helped Ali off of the floor. “So you’ll do it? You think it will help him?”

Ali gripped Mickie’s hand tighter, she was a little unsteady on her feet. “I can try. I’m not as strong as I’ve been before, but I’ll help him how I can.”

Ali had no idea how he was still here. After healing a couple of his injuries back when they found him, he should have been dead a while ago.

But he wasn’t.

He was still here, and that’s what mattered.

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Tag List- @imagination1reality0 @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @thehopelessopus @burtlederp @whump-me-all-night-long @lave-e @yesthisiswhump

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