#it's all about how u explore it

[theloveinc]

https://at.tumblr.com/theloveinc/709386875263188992/wncg70pa448c

Hello! I am curious about your tags on this post. How do you personally like characterizing embarrassment with Bakugo?

(link but it's just my prev post!)

hey!! thanks so much for asking :D

don't take my word as law, of course, (in general and) because Bakugo is actually a character who i project A LOT on in terms of like... perfectionism, insecurity, self-doubt and shame (kin moment LMFAO)... so most of my characterization comes from the way eye react to embarrassment, both my own and other's, in situations of all different kinds (like romantic ones, or slapstick ones, etc). it's a feeling that i've literally always hated.

but/so, because i lean more on the Bakugo whose personality (in Cee's words) is insecurity based, i think he tries to avoid embarrassment at ALL costs, because embarrassment = defeat and/or therefore, shame.

in my mind, it's related to his journey of going from overconfident + feeling on top of the world, to... realistic and capable of humility, both in terms of his skills AND personality. even if he's at a point where he can confidently (and aggressively) say he's a good hero/lover/friend/etc... there's still (or, there becomes) this desire in him to avoid the potential failure of being too much or doing too much (aka: acting like the same person he was before and during high school)

so i'd say... i like characterizing Bakugo as being shy and hesitant and careful (in a sense) before he's confident that he has you (or whatever thing) FOREVER. like a built-in safety feature to avoid doing something he'd regret, or become embarrassed by his treatment of others... until he knows for sure he'll get the result he wants. it's part of why i think he's such a hard worker, too :')

(and in a non-romantic context, this might be: not talking about a new move w/ his quirk that he hasn't perfected, or saying he's won XYZ when he hasn't yet.)

there's also the similar depiction of him sort of... leaning into the feelings of embarrassment (defeat) for the end reward... but as someone who has always like. despised that kind of shame and exposure... i just don't really see it being something he likes. but it makes sense too as another result of that journey.

i really, REALLY hope this makes sense!

#i honestly really hate depictions of 'tsunderes' per se bc like.... if i tell u to stop. it's bc im embarrassed and i want you to STOP #so like... objectifying that (without consent) is just.... ugh #but that's just why i think he's more... soft and 'vanilla' and questioning than like wildly easy to jostle / rile up / make embarrassed #it freaks him out. makes him feel small and bad for things he actually does regret #but on the other side of things... #i do think there's a base level too where like. u can tell when the c*ckiness is written from a point of like............ idk #concise consideration #vs when it's just someone who has not grip on who bakugo is AT ALL #like ofc there's always gonna be his pride #but that doesn't make him..... immediately the opposite of insecure and thoughtful in his own right #or easy to tease #it's all about how u explore it #dunno #still hope this made sense #i am so bad at explaining sh*t #adjkfhadjkfhaksjdfhkad #but kiss to u anon #and thanks for reading if u did! #caitie answers #gen #bakugo thoughts #anon

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!! #like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!! #also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?) #ruporas art

[lonely-night]

Janeway/Seven in 6.08 “One Small Step”

#voyageredit #janeway x seven #j7 #voyagereditmine #those lines kathryn said them with a silent 'darling' #'lets just say im encouraging you to volunteer，darling' #'you read my mind， darling' #but also thoughts when i made this set #clearly seven is annoyed with this mission which she doesnt it as important with that borg efficiency thinking of hers #janeway haters would say 'see thats janeway forcing seven doing smth she hate!!!!! molding seven to her own view' #yada yada yada u know the usual #seven is an ex borg drone yes but she is seven!! #when she made up her mind of not doing something #no one is able to force her do it if shes not willing #not even the captain #you think she is gonna just obediently do smth just because janeway order her to do so??? are we watching the same show lol?? #how many times we've seen seven actively contradicts the captain lmao #in this ep is seven willing to get out of her comfort zone to do smth janeway suggests her to do #not bc janeway order or want her to do it #hence at the end seven realizes not all exploring is about gathering useful data for the sake of efficiency #its the episode i believe that made seven considers to join starfleet because of this mission

[layzeal]

bitching abt the poll scroll this is SO stupid but i'm mad

ok this isnt about ship wars or whatever but these tags are making me laugh because "how could wlw fics of two originally male characters be BETTER than a CW queerbaiting sapphic couple" my guy, because those fics were actually written by lesbians

#I AM HERE TO DEFEND WLW WANGXIAN THEY ACTUALLY FREED ME FROM GIRL LIKER CATHOLIC GUILT #like regardless of how u feel about genderbends #lesbian fiction written by lesbians will always be better and hit a lot more than something written by. the CW #of COURSE i didnt vibe with mainstream wlw media before i started reading wangxian genderbent fic of all things #because those fics are being written by people who know liking girls is more than teehee what if we hold hands and braid each otehrs hair #the source material already hit hard and having fics explore how that'd happen if they'd been raised as women makes it hit even harder ik #anyways read out of your system by mimilamp and maybe you'll calm down #modao

[coffeeshib]

Hi! I’ve recently visited your page again, after a longer tumblr break and saw your posts about people’s comments on your fics. It made me both sad and angry. Sad because they’ve managed to take away your joy for writing Supercorp and angry that people feel like they can type out any hurtful thought that goes through their head, for a thing that is absolutely free and made with so much passion and care. 😒🤬

For what it’s worth, I always loved the way you write both of them. AND the fact that you don’t ignore Kara’s trauma and struggles. “i’m spilling all my words (but you keep 'em to yourself)” will forever be one of my favorites. Thank you for the hours of joy and fun you have given us! I hope you know that for every entitled commenter there are ten times more people who love your works! 🫵🏻🤘🏻

ahh thank you so much, i appreciate this. i have to say, sc still has me by the neck, i do plan to finish that fic & maybe write some more but it won't be anytime soon. i had hoped that the fandom would calm down with the kara hate after the show ended but i was wrong, it still hasn't changed.

when you've been writing for sc for so long, the frustration builds up, & there have been many times where i felt like i needed to (& did) restrict myself when writing them. it stops being enjoyable when people are constantly calling kara 'stupid' & insult her in many different ways for not being the happy sunshine kara danvers who takes care of lena all the time.

personally i love reading & writing the reverse situation (lena who's being the patient loving one & also the shoulder for kara to lean on) because the show didn't give us enough of that. unfortunately, people don't respond well whenever kara is struggling with her issues & lena isn't the one who's being comforted.

i write what i like & that's what i'm always going to do, but this build up of frustration over the past years & always anticipating kara hate every fic/chapter killed the joy a lot.

i've seen some authors speak about this too & it's genuinely sad to see! people can like & dislike whatever but it's important to note that there are readers out there who don't realize that their personal feelings against kara also affect authors & their love for writing supercorp

#lena is allowed to be hurt & feel sad/angry & she's instantly understood. why isn't the same level of compassion shown to kara? #(don't answer this i know why 😔) #anon that fic is so dear to me & close to my heart!!! #for anyone who's still waiting on an update even after a year..... all i can say is #1) i appreciate the interest & it warms me that you still think about the fic #2) there's still a lot of things to write about & explore in chapter 8 onwards. a crumb i can give you guys is the next chap being about #kara relearning (or not really) how to touch lena while lena is being the supportive Friend :) that she is #anyways i didn't mean to write a long post. i don't like to complain about my little troubles #but i see that you guys genuinely enjoy my work & have been waiting for more so i just had speak on it #also?? maybe this'll bring some awareness? bc i'm surprised this isn't talked about much. doubt if it helps but fellow writers who get it #i see u!!! #anyways thanks again anon! #hope you're having a lovely day #asks

[popiellart]

Tell us ur DUNC thoughts pal! <3

what can I even say about DUNC other than i fucking love it!!! i've been a shameless dick rider for denis villeneuve ever since Sicario, and I went to the cinema to see DUNC and DUNC 2 which. one thing about me is i hate cinemas. i didn't even go to the cinema for scorsese or yorgo lanthimos or top gun 2 so you know it's serious

the visuals are straight up incredible, the casting is peak, the material is handled with a lot of what feels like genuine love and passion, the lady going ham on the arabic yodeling on the OST is a queen, and in general wrt dune fans watching DUNC, I imagine that's how people who like Tolkien felt when Peter Jackson's LOTR came out

i can't wait for the conflict between the matriarchal eugenicists with milking machines and the patriarchal eugenicists with breeding tanks

which is what the books are really about. oh, and i guess the galactic jihad also happens, so that's fun

#dune #dune 2 #dune spoilers #(sort of) #anyways dune is an incredibly hilarious series on one hand you have the very serious exploration of imperialistic politics #and manipulation of societies. and religion for herbert is what linguisitics was for tolkien. (except frank's hyperfixation actually fucks) #and u get these powerful conversations about power and fate and lady jessica says 'history will call us wives' #which. by the way. everything lady jessica says and does goes incredibly fucking hard. #one of the best and most problematicest female characters ever. <3 #one of my favourite features of dune is how vicious the women are. there is a sisterhood but theres no hand-holding and singing kumbaya #jessica uses the Voice on chani. irulan does what she gotta do to secure her interests. theres an understanding but claws come out #THEN on the other hand you have the 'hm. good effort' hitler talk between paul and stilgar xD i hope they put it in dune 3. please denis #i first read dune when i was a child and understood pretty much fuck-all from it. but i think that's what herbert would've wanted #in conclusion: i don't know. i hate cinemas and i still went to see dune #i hate heat and sun; i'm a winter child thru and thru. and denis makes me want to be there on arrakis when i watch his adaptation #i think that says something

[aceloha]

if i could animate it’d be OVER FOR YALL

#imagine. hole dweling animation about the shroud brothers #opens with them talking about life outside of the isle. the first chorus is them exploring where the phantoms are kept and when that one #broke out…. ends with idia learning ortho’s gone.. shows him building ortho and when it’s we cannot escape it’s the letter of acceptance to #nightraven and then the bridge is all the over blots. styx capturing them and testing them #then when it’s the steel drums going crazy it’s ortho listening and floating away. then the over blot gang gets out and does the whole tower #thing and gets to the bottom. THE YELLLLL IS IDIA OVER BLOTTING IDC THAT THATS NOT HOW IT HAPPENED #IT FLASHES MEMORIES OF HIS LIFE BEFORE ORTHO VANISHED AS HE FUGHTS AND AUGH #the ending instrumentals is slowly zooming in on idia in the very back of the nurse who’s just staring dead pan as all the other styx #escapees chat.. LIKE FO U SEE MY VISION #PROBABLY NOT BUT IF I COULD ANIMATE U COULD #chill session with bee

[a-cosmic-elf]

Aw, bless your cotton socks, Polygon. I can tell you never got very far in the previous instalments. The fantastical creatures have always been there as part of the endgame. You could pick up rumours of where you could find them.

It was just as silly back then, for a game that up until that point was based entirely on factual creatures.

Which was great, because by the time I went travelling and started snorkelling in various parts of a the world, I could name every single fish on the reefs, largely thanks to Endless Ocean.

(Never saw a plesiosaur, tho 😂)

#endless ocean #nintendo #in case anyone ever wondered how I can spend hours scanning and exploring on Starfield and never be bored #this is the type of game I’ve always enjoyed! #it’s all about the vibe #I kept my Wii U just so I could occasionally replay Endless Ocean 2 🥰 #I never passed the scuba diving exam sadly because I had a panic attack in the pool #shame because scuba diving would have been a good skill for an archaeologist #it’s much harder than it looks #I still love this game so much #I’d probably kill myself panicking in space too lol

[soldier-poet-king]

Apparently the Northwest passage song is a uniquely Canadian thing and not everyone grew up haunted by the spectre of failed historical arctic exploration, and so all the tumblr posts about ppl suddenly discovering the terror make more sense

#the duality of fran #i havent seen the show #it just was wild to me that suddenly tumblr was having an arctic exploration phase #and its like. ah. yall didnt do this as kids in school #ive already told the story of how one of the only advanced books in my second grade class was on failed Arctic expeditions #and so lil me was macabre and obsessed with it. read that book so many times #plus in canadian school u learn about all that shit in social studies as a kid #from a largely colonial perspective mind you. but the whole baffins bay northwest passage etc etc #anyway pls go look up stan rogers northwest passage it makes me bawk #sometimes canadian folk music fuckin slaps #(see also. barretts privateers. what s good pub song)

[butch-lionblaze]

I think about warrior cats sexism all the time. All the time. Like they clearly have it in their writing we (I’m saying we as in the circles I run in. If you don’t know here’s a video on it made by sunnyfall on yt) all know this but it’s in the way that the authors bias shows into their media which just shows how they think about women subconsciously. But like I’m obsessed with the version of warrior cats where this bias is actually real and was written with it in mind. Where it would actually be pointed out and looked at. Where it isn’t just something they accidentally but strongly wrote into their stories.

Idk even when I first read wc as a 7 year old I felt a connection to the female characters bc I could even see how mistreated they were (despite not knowing what sexism really was. just shows how I could already see the difference between me and my male peers at such a young age :/)

And wished so so badly that it would be confronted- but it never was. And that’s so upsetting to the point I still think about it all the time today.

#just felt like ranting a bit on how sexism in wc is to me #i think about a version where it was purposeful so often. all of my rewrites have it not bc I enjoy sexism or whatever but bc it is and has #been a big part of my life and to have that explored and looked into in the series would’ve been amazing to little me #and a lot of other me’s as well #it’s another reason why as an individual with issues with my own health I love squilf. just a side note but agh. I love her #her struggles growing up and then specifically her fertility issues. they hit home. but I don’t ever get to actually voicing that cuz I’m #kinda scared to in a way? I don’t venture outside my bubble much and the idea of my own personal view on a character getting out to #people I don’t know will interact badly with it makes me just keep it all to myself #wc sexism #warrior cats sexism #sexism in media #I won’t tag her but Squilf I love u and u are the whole reason I wrote this <3 #rants #wc rant

[dykemerrilll]

re lrb in any case to me astarion’s arc is less about regaining agency than becoming aware that he already has it and has to act like that. there's a distinction between agency as a material fact, ie having the ability in theory to make your own decisions and act on your desires, and the awareness of having that agency.

i'm no psychologist, but in my experience one of the most helpful steps in recovering from mental illness has been the awareness of my own agency ─ yes, sometimes I feel as though my life is completely run by my intrusive thoughts, but invariably getting out of that place has involved a recognition that ultimately, I am the one in control of my thoughts and I have the agency to work through them. that doesn't mean that it isn't hard, or time-consuming, and sometimes I don't succeed in the way I'd like, but nonetheless the ability to at least try is and always has been in my power.

in baldur's gate 3, your companions appear with varying degrees of agency (aside, obviously, from the tadpole they all share). they range from gale, whose current situation physically and magically restricts him but who at that moment in time doesn't have many other immediate restrictions on his day-to-day actions, to wyll, whose every move is watched by his abusive warlck patron.

nonetheless, your companions benefit from being shown that they not only could have agency at some point in the future, if they break their pact/shar's curse/free cazador/free orpheus/fix the infernal engine/get the crown of karsus, but they have agency now and must therefore use it responsibly. wyll is already to some degree aware of this, i think, even if it's only because he is so morally forthright ─ he's one of your companions who remains actively trapped by their abuser during the game, yet he refuses to kill karlach because he knows that would be wrong. even within his severely limited circumstances, he makes a choice, he demonstrates agency. in the shadowfell, shadowheart ─ a cult victim subjected to extreme psychological and religious abuse ─ has the choice whether or not to kill aylin, and can make it either way.

astarion, at the point at which you meet him, has just been given freedom for the first time in, essentially, his life. it's no surprise that he doesn't know what to do with thise newfound agency, and doesn't recognise it for what it is, given that he literally cannot remember ever having control over his own life. that's deeply tragic, but it doesn't erase the fact that he has control over the things he does during the game. those actions (for example, given i am still talking about that last rb, talking about the children he kidnapped and gave to cazador as though they were nothing), are things he has agency over and is responsible for. nonetheless, he acts as though he does not, lurching from one attempt to gain power to another (killing the druids to suggesting you use whatever's in moonrise to your advantage), because his own self-perception as someone completely powerless is so overwhelming. he must accrue power because that is the only way he can make sure he's safe and can never be hurt again. it's just that that self-perception is not completely accurate, he does have agency; if he makes choices that result in moral wrongs, those moral wrongs are his to bear.

i'm not getting at astarion here, I don't mean to imply that he's at fault for this attitude. it is, obviously, the natural response to 200 years of enslavement and abuse. kind of the whole point of the game, of all of your companions' quests, is that if people are hurt and abused often they will feel as though their only avenue towards power is to do the same to others. but being severely traumatised doesn't make his behaviour okay; he doesn't get a free pass to do whatever he wants because of cazador. you can like him, literally who am i to say otherwise (i like him too!), but don't just excuse everything he does or get rid of the most interesting parts of his character because you're unwilling to grapple with the fact that as it stands in the game, he's morally incredibly complex.

i think there's a tendency to assume that a character either must or must not have agency, and to present it as a binary, because for some reason it's used as a shorthand for moral culpability, when in reality the relationship between agency and culpability is significantly more complicated. i haven't really been getting into coerced choices here because that's a whole other kettle of fish (though i will give the necessary disclaimer that my stance on this is quite clearly influenced by the fact that deep down i'm a bit of a virtue ethicist). nonetheless, while this is my pop philosophy take and i'm not trying to impose this overall moral framework on people, i think it's pretty reasonable to say that lack of agency does not mean that what you did was not wrong.

implying that astarion is at fault here would be indicative of the very attitude I am trying to oppose ─ the idea that people either have agency or don't, and if they do bad things with agency they are evil, but if they don't have agency they are victims. astarion is both ─ he is the victim of horrendous, harrowing trauma and yet he has done bad things and in fact visited that same trauma upon other people. there's no escaping this, and i think it would be bad for astarion to just brush everything he did for cazador under the rug because he did it for cazador. he still did those things ─ he might not be culpable, i do not think he can be considered as such, but there's no way you go through all of that and don't feel guilty for it.

notably, if shadowheart kills aylin and wyll kills karlach (if he can? i actually don't even know if he can do that, but hypothetically), they are still responsible for that action and it was still morally wrong. they have to deal with that: part of dealing with it can be to recognise the coercion they were subject to, but the fact that they lacked agency doesn't just erase the wrong or mean it was never wrong in the first place. likewise, astarion becoming the ascended vampire is still obviously a terrible thing to happen for him and everyone else, and is in no way justified just because it might finally give him the sense of safety and control he craves. the whole point of that moment is that even when he is being retraumatised, when he has returned to the place and person that hurt him, astarion has the capacity to choose, and to choose the right thing. acting as though his trauma means he has absolutely no agency whatsoever and so never has to address the fact that he can, at various points, greatly fuck up, just removes one of the biggest themes of his whole character.

tldr: astarion has agency, one of his greatest challenges is realising that he does and that he must use it responsibly, and acting as though that is not the case does a disservice to his character and the story it is trying to tell. also it is deeply deeply boring. the end.

#bg3 #i logged into tumblr on my laptop to type this out instead of learning how to use a pivot table #hence the abrupt change in capitalising I #i keep going on about this because it's a general attitude towards trauma and mental illness that drives me completely up the wall #yes life is hard yeah you gotta take steps to make that better #yeah thats tricky. sorry. gotta be done though #anyway i could literally talk about this all day like. gale or lae'zel and agency is a WHOLE thing and i could rant about those two for day #but this is getting too long as it is #also obligatory disclaimer that this is in no way a commentary on anyone's gameplay #im not trying to do a 'omg if u ascend astarion you're a terrible horrible person forever' or anything #i think it's great and fun that you can do that and explore his character that way #this is directed at people who just try to make him like uwu traumatised little baby who has never had any agency ever #in his whole entire life #and so cannot be morally responsible for any action he has ever taken

[suffarustuffaru]

i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)

#just thinking about this wip again………… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i #ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to #write ch1? :o #and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes. #just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and #all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit #nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed #o.o wild to think about….. #like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the #sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that #sort of thing. #not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i #also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc. #i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try #again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o #just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me. #suffaru post #saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH #my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET???? #in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏 #if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH

[raayllum]

also - bc i can't believe i have to say this - if you link someone's meta/posts when they've 1) blocked you and you know it and/or 2) just to rebuttal them and disagree with them over something it's already clear - and okay!! - that you have fundamentally different interptretations on, you're being kinda rude at best and an asshole at worst

#like don't get me wrong different interpretations is not a bad thing #making a new post and linking back to an old convo is not bad #but if it's something that's already been made clear that you Fundamentally Disagree on #if you have beef #just leave each other alone #don't link my posts just bc you don't think you can adequately summarize what im saying #and again: if all u have time for is disagreeing with ppl and clowning on them #it's a pretty sad meta existence #i'm off to write about ez and rayla bc i was lying awake last night like 'huh' #fandom nonsense #me explaining why i don't think callum omitted stuff from the spell on purpose #is not a personal attack #and me exploring how i would interpret if i was looking at it from that angle is also not an attack #it's all chill

[bisaster-energy]

devastating. someone has consumed the entirety of a media just to interpret it shallowly

#not even a right or wrong interpretation cos that's not really it #it's like. when someone takes what they watched/read/listened to and goes #okay i will not explore or dig deeper at all #character did something i dont like they are bad the author is bad and people who like this content are bad #LIKE BRO. BRO STOP KNIVES TO MY CHEST #obviously ur allowed to look at thkngs however u want that's the beauty of art #but you're not really looking at all if that's how you view what you consume #this point has been made to death obviously but every time i see it im like oh my god please for the love of god #i saw one person comment about how the phantom was obsessed with christine he's bad why do people like him ew #like dude no offense but did you absorb a single thing from what you watched #that's the whole point of his story like. he was never shown real love so he had no idea what it even really was #it's not about whether he was good or bad but NO there's always people that put #a black and white filter on everything they consume and it makes me want to skydive with no parachute #this is about more than poto ofc but that's just the most recent example I saw

[cleromancy]

saw a post earlier that was like "i have a theory that fanfic is more literary analysis than creative writing" and i was like. i know exactly what you mean but thats not what im doing. love and light to you but i am doing a different thing than that

#analysis headcanonning and writing fanfic are all entirely different pastimes to me #this person: transformative work is really just about expanding and delving in to the text :) #me: maybe to You #ive just been thinking about this a lot lately like whats present in the text and how i play with whats present there when i step away with #it and start telling my own story #bc with very few exceptions what i like to make is big canon divergences or something centered on a background character and i explore+ #themes present in the OG in new context. but im not trying to write those themes the way theyd be written in the OG. #i think if u tried to tell me that any of my asoiaf fiction was actually analysis of themes *as #george* i would kill you with a rock #i like what George does with theme btw not actually criticizing him here. but thats not what im doing. im doing something else. #**edited to clarify re what i like to make. i meant those two examples just as examples not the totality #to generalize a bit? its stuff that would be out of place in the OG narrative #howevwr if you question my characterization choices be prepared for me to show up at your house with an itemized list of canon support and #in depth reasoning on where it came from and why i made that choice #and then be prepared to be killed with a rock also.

[rainbowresurrection]

I ended up reading The Price of the Phoenix and while it didn't make me want to bleach my eyes like Killing Time, I still didn't like it as much as I hoped I would. Don't get me wrong, the homoeroticism was intriguing to me, but the actual writing and storyline itself left me with a headache. I think I get my hopes up with these books, given all of the possibilities that the written word has for Trek, and it inevitably sets me up for disappointment lol

#if u liked it thats fine I just kind of hated it #star trek #The only ones Ive genuinely liked so far is STTMP and the one about Garak written by Andrew Robinson #i wish Roddenberry had written more. STTMP was no literary masterpiece but his writing style had a lot of potential and I feel that #he actually captured the characters authentically and you could relate to their feelings #Price of the Phoenix had all of this corny alpha male shit going on that almost made me feel #like the author just didn't know how to write men or something #Like they relied a lot on stereotypes of the time which sucked considering that Kirk and co. are supposed to be living in the future #the dialogue was clunky and even confusing at times #and the characters were just #idk. vapid to me #Like Kirk and Spock's love for each other is portrayed which is nice but basically everything else about them just didnt feel #accurately characterized or otherwise explored #it was basically just muliple chapters of several different versions of Kirk getting his ass kicked & this big weird villain dude taking up #space on the page with his plan to take over the universe or whatever #the reincarnation concept was intriguing but the themes just weren't clear enough for me #the end haha #sttos #k/s #review #price of the phoenix #well Im glad I read it anyway I was curious #i get kind of leary of certain K/S content TBF since a lot of it- esp around that time- comes off as voyeuristic towards M/M relationships #a lot of those ppl didnt exactly care about queer movements as much as they cared about seeing their two fictional favs fuck #yes there were queer writers but we didnt always exactly get center stage in these things #you can tell what is written with respect and whats just kinda. written. you feel me #i love K/S and its history but Im not gonna pretend all or even half of it was written with the intention of uplifting queer men #i ended up having more to say than I realized uhhhhhh to be continued at another date