#its all these damn romance stories I'm reading. theyre fucking me up

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

It's 4am and I can't sleep and I have a crush on a woman who lives halfway across the country from me, this is all of the worst things that could've possibly happened

#i was super sleepy so i went to bed at 10:30pm but my normal sleep time is 4am #so my body just thought it was a nap and woke me up at midnight abd wouldnt let me sleep again #so now its late and i cant call back asleep because i had a nap earlier #and for some reason its really making me feel like. lonely. oh lonely is the word #this time every year i get super lonely and full of crushes #usually earlier winter tho. like December. and i dont think this is the yearly crush #i think i legit like her. but she lives in one part of the country. and i live eighteen hours away #thats one obstacle. the other thing is: #i met her at a week long camp thing. we talked in the last like. three days. and havent seen each other in person since #weve texted a bunch. especially lately. but weve never called. or seen each other since last May #we also just recently learned each other's last names and where we live #so idk. idk whats up with me but i really like her. BUT theres hope #because (if she gets hired) shes going to work at the same camp as me this summer!! two whole months working together #and i didnt ask her to apply. she decidd she didjt want to go back to her old camp and then applied to mine #she wants to spend two whole months with me. on her end tho im sure its just friendly. which is valid. idk if shes even single #its all these damn romance stories I'm reading. theyre fucking me up #idk man i really just. like her a lot. and its 4am and i wish we could be cuddling. or even just texting #she has a terrible sleep schedule and might be awake rn but i dont want to wake her up if she isnt #anyway. goodnight

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

#MWAH see you tonight<3 #notes for rid 🌹 #🐼✒️ anon #fic: colour me in

[not-close-to-straight]

HI HELLO IVE JUST CAUGHTEN UP

quick confession firrst: i read ch 3&4 backwards bc i forgot i hadnt read ch 3 before i read ch 4. im out of my adhd meds and its taking a toll lmao

BACK TO THE HOLLERIN

that shoot out scene was fucking BRILLIANT. i just finished a romance novel that had an "action scene" in it that was.... disappointing. but then to turn around and see wade go absolutely feral on those boys??? oh man!! my favorite parts probably had to be shooting the dude through the bar (gross real life image GREAT movie image), the bit where theyre gonna send him down the river and he wakes up and kills the reat of em, and surprisingly the part where he kills weasel too. i thought that would make me sad bc ive always loved their relationships in other fics but here... it just felt right. like the image of an absolutely battered wade limping out of st margarets and climbing onto arthur, PILES of bodies behind him with no survivors?? incredible

and PYM my lovely cranky hank. i love cranky hank, thank you for giving him to me, i will never have enough. i can't wait to see what he has to say about wade coming to his doorstep in ch 5 lmao

okay okay onto my SECOND favorite part which is PETER my beloved. i love this pete. i mean... learning to become an escape artist because of his experiences?? sitting there and cataloguing the alphas with nothing more than a look???? and fucking reeling Francis IN and then casting him aside was some MASTER manipulation and i can't believe francis fucking fell for it, what a bitch 😂 also i loved pete covering up his tell!! thats so so clever, i love little details like that! oh and the way you didnt detail petes escape? you just cut to it through francis' pov kinda??? oh that was some good shit. ive said it before and i'll say it again: this verse, you've really honed in on this movie/camera aspect of writing and i LOVE it. i can physically SEE the jump shot from francis to where pete was tied, then the racing shot from francis howling to pete running away and then the zooming shot to the little town of hex on the horizon. its.so.good.

okay i think i'm done now 😂 i loved these two chapters (if you couldnt tell) and im falling in love with these two boys even though they arent spending any real time together which is a wild approach to a romance story but one im LOVING. i cant wait for chapter 5!! (thankfully i wont be able to read it out of order this time 😅)

THANK YOU!

I have definitely been disappointed by "Action Scenes" in romance movies and fics because alot of times it seems like the two tropes can't co exist without one being seen as "unnecessary" (usually the romance, let's be honest) and I am really trying to avoid that in this fic. Like Peter and Wade are both having an adventure that will eventually lead to them coming back together but I'm also trying to layer in that romance so when they finally see each other again it just clicks into place vs the typical movie scene where all the sudden one minute the two main characters are apparently into each other for no other reason than they happened to be sharing the same space.

So I wanted Wade's shoot out scene to be SO INTENSE but then in the middle of it, he's still "tell me where my Omega is" and even when he's half dead, he's still thinking about Pete. Okay and I'm so glad everyone has loved the shotgun through the bar thing. That's one of my favorite tropes in action movies, shooting someone through the wall, in fact my favorite one is in Mr. and Mrs. Smith where Angelina Jolie's character shoots through the wall and damn near kills Brad Pitt and then goes "still alive, baby?" idk why it's so damn funny but it always has me in stitches every time.

I almost didn't kill Weasel cos honestly the guy is a great character. Wholly chaotic and barely keeping it together but GREAT and usually in my fics he's a good guy. But for this one yeah, I wanted that "scorched earth" feel to Wade leaving St. Margaret's-- bodies and blood and gunpowder and the lone gunman riding away into the hills.

I know that this version of Peter is pretty wildly OOC but on the other hand... I feel like maybe he isn't. Everything I attribute to Peter in this AU- being able to size up a situation in a matter of minutes, always having an escape plan, stealthy skills that would help in a scary moment, being able to pretty much figure out how dangerous some one is or how easy they'll be to talk down-- I feel like Spidey!Peter has all the same skills. He might have superpowers but you still don't survive in NYC against honestly wackadoodle super villains without being super smart and being able to read people well and read them quickly. In this AU he got and uses those skills as a whore, but I feel like it's not that far off from how he has to exist IRL.

And YES I purposefully went with the cut scene to Peter's escape partly for the "movie" feel and partly because we'd just come off both a scene where we SAW Peter putting together the details of his escape (loosened knots, money, etc) and then a detail heavy scene with Wade so we didn't need to be bogged down in more.

Plus that parallel of Wade barely alive riding away and Peter literally riding for his life, both of them off into the darkness searching for each other but not quite finding each other... it's so good.

Thanks for this comment! I love when people see all the little details I put into the chapters!

[roguestarsailor]

thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book  😀 😀 😀 😀  

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.  

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT  MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

--

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???) 

#amandathoughts #bookthoughts #acotar #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #book 2 #sarah j maas #acomaf thoughts #i said a lot because this book had so much content #acotr #amandabookthoughts #feyre #rhysand #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand