#amandabookthoughts

[roguestarsailor]

damn i went on the malina tag and its just filled with darklina content and thats...rude af. i read some of the posts and i am immediately put off. i was feeling good after finishing the series and now im mad. like why yall gotten taint the tag with hate???? i like mal and i think malina is wonderful and what they have is special.

#amandabookthoughts #malina #anti darklina #shadow and bone #mal oretsev #alina starkov #stop excusing men because theyre hot #ugh #there was a post about the age gap between actors for alina and darkling #and they were trying to sound woke #like alina isn't a child; shes 25 #but listen #its about hollywood ageism #the actress always have been younger than their male counterpart #its disgusting and that is why i will never ship darklina (in the show) #i dont ship darklina at all but #definitely not in the show

[roguestarsailor]

NESTA SEES THROUGH SOME OF THE SHIT IN AZRIEL

SHE AND AZ HAS A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING SADKLASJFKLDKLSD

AND THEY ENJOY TEASING CASSIAN ASDKLJFSDKLJKDLKFLSDKLFDJSKLFJSDLKDSKL

#AMANDATHOUGHTS #ACOTAR #SARAH J MAAS #ACOSF #SILVER FLAMES #AZRIEL #NESTA #BROTP #A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES #ACOTAR LIVE STREAM #IMSDKFJDK #IM CRYING #THIS IS BEAUTIFUL #SJM LIVE STREAM #amandabookthoughts

[roguestarsailor]

my hot take on mal and why hes wonderful and why malina is the proper coupling (and im gonna shit on darkling/darklina for a bit)

*these might not be new thoughts but i want to express my love for mal and malina (and i just finished the books like a few hours ago so my brain is on fire) there was so much mal slander on the malina tags and i wanted to throw in my 2 cents!!*

- mal literally had nobody. this kid is a literal orphan! i love that he figured out what to fight for and kept his head in the game. i am a sucker for characters who needs to fight to get anywhere in life. he was gifted the tracking skill and befriending alina and thats it. characters like him have grit and a personality that makes them tough and fearless and i am always going to root for their happy endings

- this poor man has to face these super powerful beings without powers. its hella intimidating to be just regular while being surrounded by folks who can blast light, manipulate winds and waters and fabricate things from nothing. he worked with what he got and that was tracking and being physically fit to fight and i fucken applaud that!!!

- he never got in alina's way. i think whats tragic is that he internalized how much of a "low born"/"nobody" he was and saw that alina was destined for so much more and he made sure he was useful at all times. at the beginning of seige and storm, it felt like mal was hindering alina because she couldnt use her powers and that made her feel like complete shit (i wasn't team mal at that moment but what else were they suppose to do. darkling was worse tbh!!)

- he's just a kid. hes struggling! i was sad when it was confirmed that he and zoya were a thing for a bit (and has been with other girls) but thats just being a teen in a war torn society (and also hyping him up to be desirable for the audience)

- even his maturity is very much in line with him being a kid and trying to navigate being a soldier and then having to shifting his entire purpose to aligning with just alina. he was suppose to just be a soldier, and die honorably depending whos attacking who. but he rejected his training/soldier mindset and found alina because he knew she needed him! he could have died soooo many times, he lost friends but he had to roll with the punches the entire time. and again, this man got nothing going for him! just his love for alina!

- i dont think YA books appreciate the boys without power; those who aren't royalty and aren't born with wealth and poise. mal had to learn to survive at an early age and that includes learning to be likeable and social, being a skilled soldier, and tracker (but that was a gift). i love that alina also started out in a shitty position but she also learned her power and voice.

- mal lets alina be herself! I love female protagonists who are ambitious and want to stay in power but for alina, i like that she wants the ordinary things. she wants a normal life that isn't full of explosion, talk of war or politics or grand dresses. mal let her be goofy and let her be childlike-- see their banter, see their mischiefs growing up. darkling and nikolai needed her to be a summonor/weapon and a queen/leader. they demanded her to use her powers and be a face that decorated their arms; they demanded her to be this surreal being that hordes of people will follow. she has to be regal; has to be poised and laugh and smile on command; be an intimidating figure especially in this war torn country.

- mal wanted alina because she's his best friend! thats it! my favorite moment (and ended up being the sad moment) was in ruin and rising when there was a meteor shower and nikolai found alina first and them walking together arm-in-arm to go see it. mal, with a big smile on his face, was rushing to her to tell her about the shower but stopped short when he saw them together. in that paragraph, alina talked about how mal always ran to her when something that made him happy happens (ugh my sappy heart!!!)

- grishas are the marginalized group and face horrendous torture and systematic prejudges and ravka should have been a place they could feel safe. i like that darkling was fighting for them...but it falls apart when it seems he was hell bent on making sure alina fall in line. he could be that radical; thats fine but he was so obsessed with alina; he was manipulative !!

- i know we're suppose to sympathize with him because he grew up filled with hatred from his mom, grew up in a society that hates people like him and at its core, hes just a lonely boy where nobody understands him because hes soooo powerful and can live 5ever and only alina could understand him because her power measures up to him. but heres the thing, just learn to be a good person wtf??? also he had his mom???? he had someone???? also learn to make friends?? mal fucken did it and he got nobody. learn to build ships??? like nikolai who is an outcast in his own family. (im harsh to characters that live forever and refuse to budge from their original notion about the world. because u spent all that time being alive and not do a thing about that??)

- darkling just latched onto alina for her power. and he is demanding her to be his partner without understanding her and what she needs. he flirts w her, seduces her and plays her so he can be the ultimate powerful figure to lead ravka--so his goal stopped being saving grisha and demanding things from people. ugh how can anybody ship darkling and alina???

- at no point would it feel balanced if alina and darkling were a thing because alina will constantly play catch up. she will always feel like she has to be an adult and has to be this face for the people to follow. she could live with him forever and what?? learn to love him??? i guess??? doing what?? controlling ravka forever???

- anyways i love mal. i dont think hes boring. while browsing the tag for s&b and malina, it was just filled with mal slander! and this is my response to some of the hate. he's literally trying his goddamn best; he literally has no power and has to learn to defend himself the best he can. he is the type of character that has to fight for his survival, fight for his worth and fight for his love!!!! whats not to like???

#amandabookthoughts #shadow and bone #shadow and bone trilogy #leigh bardugo #malina #pro malina #mal oretsev #alina starkov #darkling #aleksander morozova #long post #pro mal #anti darklina

[roguestarsailor]

unpopular opinion: if rhys couldnt forgive the sisters for leaving feyre to defend herself he should be angriest at elain, not nesta. freye and nesta will tear themselves apart for her and elain just cries about not getting married and being part of the socialite scene. 

nesta pulled her weight all through ACOMAF and ACOWAR and at the end of ACOTAR. she was the only one who went after feyre even tho she doesnt understand anything other than to get her sister back (ugh can u imagine how fucken amazing the story would have been if nesta did get pass the wall?!?), she was the one who asked and listened to feyre and her story, asked her to teach her to paint (aka trying to connect with her, whereas elain never tried to learn/understand feyre and her story. elain was just nice to feyre), fought with the queens directly when they refused to give the book, she was the only one noticing the little things after freye changed into a fae, and then she was the only one who noticed why she drew stars on her dresser! she is protective of elain even as she herself went under and as soon as she got out of the cauldron, she actually came out of her room in the house of wind only when feyre came back from spring court (probs her way of trying to see if her sis is really ok w the IC, feel out who these ppl were, etc), spoke her truth at the meeting w the high lords even tho it was super hard for her, seek out her sister when she felt the wall go down, didn’t want to abandon feyre at the library (and the first thing she does when she sees cassian is to tell him to go to feyre and help her first!), she learned to aid and treat the wounded at the war camp, she literally tries so fucken hard to be there, to understand and to care.

what did fucken elain do? she was a seer and nobody bothered to help her learn things (this is the fault of feyre and IC but still she wasn’t curious about what she could do?) she got her moment when she stabbed the king but everything else? she literally just lets people coddle her. she just sits in her own world, says cryptic shit and thinks about gardening??? like she too was starving back then and her thoughts weren’t on figuring out how to help out?? she has never been described as protective, only agreeable. shes just nice to everyone and she gets a pass??

im actually frustrated by the fact that at no point was feyre mad at elain for being so indulgent. her character is all about being lovely and prob speaks to the theme of despite the hardships she can still find beauty in everything or shes the symbol of beauty that drives the character to protect. but literally every fucken character had to battle their hardships and traumas to protect their own sense of beauty in the world. feyre had to become a huntress to fight for the peace to paint. rhys loves velaris, so he sacrificed himself to amarantha, mor found her peace at the court of dreams but she still has to face her families and court of nightmares to ensure balance between the two, cas and az were nobodies and fought to be powerful Illyrians when everyone said they weren’t shit and to protect their peace they go to these camps, face the taunts and disgust and defend every single day. so ur saying elain just runs to her garden when shes feeling sad???

i cant believe the audacity of elain to down a drink before interacting with nesta at the solstice party! nesta fought for her and made sure elain was ok at every single point in the books and yet elain couldnt fucken handle her in ACOFAS??? nesta was going to sacrifice herself so feyre can get to the cauldron, saw her father die in front of her eyes, she saw cassian almost die and was prob pissed that she was the only defense between the king and cassian, she was on the front lines of the war, esp to help the wounded, and she was involved as much as possible prepping for the war effort! she was obviously dealing w so much shit and nobody gave a rats ass that she’s handling her trauma terribly. elain should have pulled her weight then. she should have been the one who fought for nesta to be ok.

anyways i dont like elain. nesta deserves so much better.

#amandathoughts #acotar #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #feyre cursebreaker #stan nesta #i dont hate rhysand but his attitude in acofas was upsetting #acomaf #acofas #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #amandabookthoughts

[roguestarsailor]

JUST FINISHED THE QUEEN OF NOTHING AND IT IS *AMAZING*. THE WHOLE ENTIRE SERIES IS AMAZING. I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS BUT I AM FILLED WITH LOVE FROM THIS BOOK SO I CANNOT WRITE RIGHT NOW! JUDE AND CARDEN MY LOVES MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS BABIES I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE

JUST AHHHH THE COMPLEXITIES OF EACH CHARACTER AND THEIR DECISIONS AND AHFKDSHJK ITS NOT LETS JUST MURDER PEOPLE AND IT LOVELY I LOVE THAT FOR THEM I LOVE THAT ITS DKSLJFDSFSDKLJ JUDE IS A DUMBIE IN LOVE AND THE BEST SCHEMEING BITCH EVER I LOVE HER WOWWW

STAND OUT MOMENTS INCLUDE

“Jude, you can’t really think I don’t know it’s you. I knew you from the moment you walked into the brugh.”

“He’s every bit as terrifying as any serpent.

I don’t care. I run into his arms.”

Cardan’s fingers dig into my back. He’s trembling, and whether it is from ebbing magic or horror, I am not sure. But he holds me as though I am the only solid thing in the world.”

I feel a guard’s hand close on my arm. Then Cardan’s voice comes. “Do not touch her.”

A terrible silence follows. I wait for him to pronounce judgment on me. Whatever he commands will be done. His power is absolute. I don’t even have the strength to fight back.

“She’s my wife,” Cardan says, his voice carrying over the crowd. “The rightful High Queen of Elfhame. And most definitely not in exile.”

another stand out is

“You ought to have taken what we offered,” Lord Jarel says, swinging his spear down toward me. “Your reign will be very short, mortal queen.”

Then Grima Mog is there on her stag, taking the weight of his blade. Their weapons slam together, ringing with the force of the impact. “First I’m going to kill you,” she tells him. “And then I’m going to eat you.”

IM SO SORRY BUT THIS IS WHAT I WILL BE POSTING ABOUT FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS IM SO IN LOVEEEEEEEEE 

#amandabookthoughts #amandathoughts #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #queen of nothing #holly black #jude x cardan #im so fucken glad locke just died and we forgot about him #that was such a good move #not sure how i feel about taryn and the ghost being romantic #but whatever #anyways #mardoc on earth is gonna be funny as shit #also the complexity of his relationship with jude is so good #its like its fucked up but its like making peace w what happened #its learning about love #its learning to define love #the whole story is well done #its a bit fucked up #and jarring AS A MORTAL reading this #but it makes sense #vivi is constantly like THIS ISN'T NORMAL #and shes right #but jude makes do #i love the narration shifts #from anxiety to more like distressed and then cautious confidence #like we're growing through jude's eyes #its beautiful #good book series so far

[roguestarsailor]

impressions of six of crows

***spoiler ishh, not plot spoilers but just character interactions throughout the book***

note: I have not read shadow and bone and this is the first book i’m reading in this series so i have no prior knowledge of who these people are or what happened prior to this!!

I adore all these characters in the book! I love how seamlessly everything flowed and its glorious to read. The names were all confusing to me so I had to constantly refer back to the map and the Ice court layout to fully understand everything. I think there were points where I didn’t fully understand the impact because I didn’t read the other books. Talk of the Second army was confusing for me, but I just pushed through. I just love the dynamic of this group and I really really hope they are ok. Please don’t die. Will this author do this to my sensitive heart?? idkk?? 

the heist was so fun and honestly, i dont think the ice court was that well protected haha. it felt like they had so much time to do so many things but it just might be how the story is told. i love stories of trickery and heist and this one did a really good job. I love the backstories getting interwoven together and the plot twists were lovely. I was stressed for kaz though and i was nervous he will “run out of tricks” but it ended up fine. its strange because he is sooo young and hes battling these seasoned professionals and hes gotta navigate this fucked up world. they all have to navigate this fucked up world and i can’t imagine the stress of always looking behind you but also looking at the next 10 steps and then plotting additional scenarios to live. wow. anyways this i was great 10/10!!

Notable scenes include:

“Jesper!”

I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.

“Close your eyes!”

“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”

I LOVE THEM ALREADY! JESPER AND WYLAN IS SO CUTE

“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” [Jesper] told Wylan.

“What?”

“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”

Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.

“Discipline. Routine. Does it mean nothing to you? Djel, I can’t wait to have a bed to myself again.”

“Right,” said Nina. “I can feel just how much you hate sleeping next to me. I feel it every morning.”

Matthais flushed bright scarlet. “Why do you have to say things like that?”

“Because I like it when you turn red.”

“It’s disgusting. You don’t need to make everything lewd.”

...

“Despite her fatigue, she trotted ahead of him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to like a Grisha. You’re scared that if you laugh at my jokes or answer my questions, you might start thinking I’m human. Would that be so terrible?”

“I do like you.”

“What was that?”

“I do like you,” he said angrily.

She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her, “Now, really, was that so bad?”

“Yes!” he roared.

“Why?”

“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and...treacherous.  Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”

She poked him in the chest.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I FUCKEN LOVE THESE BICKERING IDIOTS. but also nina means so much to me. its so fucken refreshing to see a character who is overweight and can carry herself with so much sass and confidence (because thats what 17 year old me would have wished to be able to channel)!! i love that shes so flirty and especially to someone as stoic as matthais is cute af!! even the author wrote about how much she loves nina: “I probably identify most with Nina. She’s spent her whole life being told she’s too big, too loud, too much--and that’s basically me. I just wish I had Nina’ confidence at seventeen.” she has the kind of sass and big dick energy that comes w having to prove yourself and being shamed and i think thats why she has a special place in my heart!! maybe i’ll go in on my love for nina in another post but ugh i love her

“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m taking my share, and I’m leaving the Dregs.”

He looked away. “You should. You were always too good for the Barrel.”

It was time to go. “Saints’ speed, Kaz.”

Kaz snagged her wrist. “Inej.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of the feather tattoo. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know...”

She waited.

...

She reached up and touched his cheek...this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeves. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still but she saw a tremor pass through him as if he were waging a war with himself.

“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.”

NO I LOVE THEM TOO! KAZ1!!! DO SOMETHING!!! BUT ALSO FUCKEN GOOD FOR YOU INEJ YOU FUCKEN KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE AND IF HE AINT GIVING 100 U DONT WANT IT I LOVE HER TOO

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”

She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”

He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you.”

“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”

He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.

“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”

He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.

ITERATE AGAIN, INEJ DONT WANT 90 PERCENT OR 99 PERCENT SHE WANTS 100 OR NOTHING WOW. i mean my shipping heart says NOOO buT shes right. kaz gotta figure out his shit and then share that vulnerability w her and maybe they can be truly together. UGH BUT THIS SCENE my god

Van Eck taunting Wylan and shitting on him for not being able to read was disgusting and i will fight him. I WILL PROTECT WYLAN WITH MY HEART! HES TRYING HIS BEST AND WORKING WITH WHAT HES GOT AND HE SAVED THEM ALL SO MANY TIMES. GET THIS PEDO OUT OF HERE FUCK THIS GUY

“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthais care for Nina. You were hiding.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“You...how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”

“Every time.”

pekka rolllins. wow. what a man. i expect great things to happen between kaz and him. i truly did think kaz killed him back in the ice court lol but im glad he saw the grand plan and waited it out. hes a man of patience. i can respect that.

#amandabookthoughts #six of crows #soc #kaz #inej #wylan #jesper #nina #matthais #kaz x inej #wylan x jesper #nina x matthias #leigh bardugo #soc memes #soc review #grishaverse #grisha universe

[roguestarsailor]

“Hey,” Cassian said, catching my arm. His hazel eyes were more green than brown today. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to hit a nerve. Az only told me because I told him I needed to know for my own forces; to know what to expect. None of us...we don’t think it’s a joke. What you did was a hard call. A really damn hard call. It was just my shitty way of trying to see if you needed to talk about it. I’m sorry,” he repeated; letting go.

This very scene solidify my fucken love and loyalty to cassian. this was just --- excellent! this level of emotional intelligence is what all men should strive for! 

a man who said a shitty thing and recognizing that the other person didn’t find it funny and APOLOGIZING properly for it!! nowhere does he put blame on the other person, no where does he get defensive! he understood at the very least that it was a sensitive topic and owned up to it and apologized!! cassian is so much more than just the buffer and goofy aggro jock character. hes literally so receptive of the little things and i love that for him and i love to see more of men like him!

#amandabookthoughts #cassian #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #pro cassian #nessian #cassian simp #a court of mist and fury #acomaf #illyrian warrior #illyrian general #hello #nesta is gonna feel so loved by cassian #im gonna ignore that one bit in acofas #cuz that felt out of character #but this #this is the cassian i fucken love #its actually interesting since hes also a war general #which means hes gonna take a big hit emotionally #whenever there is war #:( #but this was my top 10 fav moments

[roguestarsailor]

impressions of the crooked kingdom

*******spoilers ahead*******

i love them all. i love it! such a good duology! consistent characterizations! growth! love!!! great ending!! great scheme!! the world building! the economic and political schemes! all so good!!!

i mean in general my reaction was this:

BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY MOMENTS ESP TOWARD THE END WTF LEIGH BARDUGO MY HEART HURTS FOR SO MANY OF THEM BUT THEN IT ALSO SINGS FOR SO MANY OF THEM

but in general its

notable moments:

Wylan knew Nina could handle just about any man and any situation, but he didn’t think she should have to sit half dressed in a drafty gambling parlor, perched on some leering lawyer’s lap. At the very least, she was probably going to catch cold.

LMAO I LOVE WYLAN HAHA

Why do you guys say that, anyway? No mourners, no funerals? Why not just say good luck or be safe?”

“We like to keep our expectations low.” Kaz’s gloved finger trailed down a column of numbers and stopped

HAHAHAHAAA

“I would come for you,” he said, and when he saw the wary look she shot him, he said it again. “I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.”

- FUCKEN TRASSEL AND MATTHIAS!! It bit him and he fucken passed the fuck out this man

- Its not big or plot related but I like that there was representation of a tall women paired w a shorter man. When jesper recalls his mom, "she was Zemeni born, her skin a deep, plummy brown, and so tall his father had to tilt his head to look her in the eye" thats cute as shit

“No matter the height of the mountain, the climbing is the same.”

“That’s not technically true. You need ropes, picks--”

“Don’t be a Matthias.”

Nina covered her mouth in horror. “I’m going to eat twice as much cake to make up for it.”

*takes out mega phone* I LOVE THEM I LOVE NINA AND I LOVE INEJ

“You’re weak because you’re afraid of people seeing your weakness. You’re letting shame decide who you are.”

.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” said Kaz. “I don’t hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins.”

KAZ! MY BOY!

- when wylan meets jesper for the first time and all he saw was the “most perfectly shaped lips he’d ever seen” HAHAHA

- JESPER KISSING KUWEI AND KUWEI WAS *AWAKEN* LMAOOOO i mean poor wylan hahah but kuwei was like I KISSED A [JESPER] AND I LIKED IT

Jesper felt the pounding of his heart--or was it Wylan’s?--like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh.

They remembered the quarantines, the terror that came with even the most basic human contact.

super relevant today in year 2020-2021

IM DOCKING 9483290482399 POINTS FROM THIS BOOK BECAUSE MATTHIAS DIES!!! TAHTS BULL SHIT!! LEIGHT BARDUGO SHOULD HAVE PULLED A JON SHOW AND BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE THIS IS INJUSTICE

HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DIE I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THE PHYSICAL POSSIBILITY OF MATTHIAS DYING FROM A LITTLE KID HOLDING A GUN and that THIS KID CAN SHOOT AND HIT A VITAL ORGAN I DISGREEE HEAVILY!!! SHOULD HAVE LET MATTHIAS + NINA LIVE TOGETHER BRUH

- but matthia’s farewell was beautiful and i did tear up. it did hurt my heart

- when van eck was actually arrested and the entire council was just pitying him it was beautiful to watch. even wylan really coming into himself there. kaz working so many strings when he does things is crazy!! but that moment was such a good moment for wylan. he conquered his fears and he realize that what he feels shame for isn’t going to stop him anymore and he finally amass some power to him. im also glad alys is hooking up with the piano teacher and i hope the baby is really his cuz van eck is gross on so many levels (god i hate the beginning when literally every time someone mentions alys they always mention shes (super dupe) YOUNG, pretty and pregnant and holding van eck’s heir. grosss!!!!!!!!)

- WOW KAZ HOLDING INEJ’S HAND THEY HOLD HANDS. HE GAVE HER HER BOAT AND SOUGHT OUT HER FAMILY! THAT WAS SO CUTE AND SUCH A KAZ THING TO DO im just--i love them both. part of me wished it had been inej who did those things herself just to show shes capable but kaz would be the one to plan so many steps ahead. but she came back strong at the end w rollins which was cute

- when inej used her knife is carve rollin at his safe house i wish she had drawn a crow lol but the touch w the toy was awesome lol. its kind of nice that the pain villains of the story was broken down this way instead of just simply dying. this felt so much more impactful. kaz takes his shit personally and i love that he is so scheme-y but he still has a heart.

#six of crows #the crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #kaz #inej #nina #matthias #wylan #jesper #book review #amandabookthoughts

[roguestarsailor]

YALL WHAT IF

NESTA and ERIS ARE MATESS BUT THIS IS THE EXAMPLE OF REJECTED MATES???

Idk eris and NESTA?? Together?? I always thought eris rivaled Cassian and this teased that just dropped is creating a fun dynamic and I am filled w feral delight 😏😏😏😏

#amandathoughts #acotar #nesta x cassian #nessian #acosf #nesta archeron #nesta x eris #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #amandabookthoughts

[roguestarsailor]

Just finished the Shadow and Bones Trilogy and here are some quick thoughts just from seeing S&B posts on here.

I think Alina and Mal are so special. I actually don’t ship darklina because it never felt balanced despite them having seemingly opposing power. I love when boys who don’t have anything but their honor and dedication to a cause. Mal was just a kid and he and Alina have been through so much together. I understand the cause the Darkling was fighting for but that’s no way to recruit allies. If he wanted Alina to be his equal he would have listened to her (as Nikolai did). He felt so controlling and significantly more knowledgeable that I can’t get behind this ship. I also don’t think Mal was boring but I think for Alinas POV, as she tries to not think about her feelings for him, it came off as less vivid compared to the Darkling.

I am a bit disappointed in the Darkling. He was fighting for a just cause and his purpose was so strong and wonderful but along the way, it felt like his cause was less “let’s make revka better/“give grishas a home” and more let me control revka, control Alina and let me have all this power first. He doesn’t reason with Alina; he spends his time seducing and manipulating her honestly and that was sad. I wanted to see him as a good leader but he literally isn’t (especially when you throw in Nikolai who is a proper leader). I understand that his childhood was awful and since he was raised by a mother filled with hurt and hatred, he would absorb that and make that his fuel in life. It’s just crazy that all these centuries, he never changed. He stayed that way. Anyways he was a let down as a leader.

Nikolai was my favorite and I wish he had someone to be with toward the end because homeboy was big sad and a lot was dumped onto him. He was fun and he was caring and he didn’t rely on manipulation to get people to follow him. I’ll pick up king of scars to read about Nikolai and his journey because he’s so fun. And to compare Darkling to Nikolai, both had similar up upbringings. Nikolai was seen as a outcast especially since he is a bastard but he was adamant about learning and figuring out new ways of doing things. Whereas Darkling, despite his age and his rise to power/into the royal family, he was scheming and saw the bleakness of the world and decided he needed power to rule and all will be well. Even just the treatment of Alina is clearly different between the two.

I am sad that Alina wasn’t actually a secret cousin to Darkling lol. I hate incest storylines but I definitely don’t ship Darklina so I would have been fine with it. Mal being the Darkling’s cousin was so ... wild to me. I wonder how Alinas power came to be. It would make sense if the second child of Morozova would be a sun summoner to offset the dark summoner but maybe that was too juvenile of a plot.

Anyways it was a nice story. This universe is really fun and I enjoy it! I feel hella prepared for the show now! I hope it doesn’t deviate too much from the books especially in regards to Darkling and Alina’s relationship. I think it’s special that two kids with similar backgrounds have to fight and struggle together to figure out how they fit into a big war torn world. I like Malina’s love story because it’s not easy and it is hard especially when they want different things. I like that they have to grab what is familiar and figure out who they are at their core and then fight for each other. I hope the show recognizes that and shows us that type of love rather than seduce us with the dark and handsome anti hero with the seemingly opposing young protagonist. Darkling and Alina aren’t enemies to lovers type love story or hero making anti hero better story. They’re not on equal footing and are fighting the same cause; just different ideas on how to do it.

#amandabookthoughts #shadow and bone #shadow and bone trilogy #shadow and bone spoilers #alina starkov #mal oretsev #Darkling #ruin and rising #siege and storm #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #nikolai #prince nikolai #nikolai lantsov

[roguestarsailor]

i need help understanding mor and the dynamic between cassian and azriel.

TLDR; i dont get why this dynamic is so important! for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret so why is she so insistent on being shitty to az? azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

ok so this girl doesn’t have the courage to tell azriel that she doesn’t like him that way (or ever).

but its been 500 years of pining; like ?? i think he knows his heart has been broken?? hes a spy master; his entire profession is him seeking secrets and i would even assume knowing how to read people and such. i feel like after 500 years, he can pretty much confirm shes not interested in him. and then using cassian whenever theyre together should also signify something? are we banking on azriel to be a Head Empty dumbo man who doesn’t have an ounce of self awareness and emotional intelligence here?? mor constantly flirts w cassian as a joke. mor needing cassian to be a buffer sounds like she just wants him as the third wheel but nothing else and thats really shitty thing to do. how can she think she can keep it up?? how can she also assume cassian won’t try to find love?? she doesn’t love az why stop him from finding love???

she straight up only likes females no? she’s already sleeping with other people. thats a known fact. azriel has also slept w other people. they dont sleep together but they do just hang out--like buddies?? they go to ritas, they hang out in the houses at valeris, they do night court jobs together-ish but thats it? that sounds like what friends do. so if she rejects azriel, the worst that seems to happen is that they won’t hang out like they used to.

i flipped through ACOWAR to make sure im not missing anything and this is part of what she says:

“I’m not sure I can give my entire heart to him in that way. And...and I love him enough to want him to find someone who can truly love him like he deserves. And I love myself....I love myself enough to not want to settle until I find that person, too” (ACOWAR, 592)

“I should tell him. I need to tell him. Mother above, after last night, I should. But...It’s gone on for so long. So long. I’m petrified to face him--to tell him he’s spent five hundred years of pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout...I like things the way they are.”  (ACOWAR, 593)

she says this shit!! two contradictory paragraphs!!! how are you gonna be like let az find love/i want to find love and then backtrack and be like wait i like this dynamic??? what??????? in between those two line she says this:

“It’s stupid, I know. It’s so stupid and cruel that I do this, but...I slept with Helion just to remind Azriel...Gods, I can’t even say it. It sounds even worse saying it.”

“To remind him that you’re not interested.” (ACOWAR, 593)

what is this?? literally what the fuck?? this line right here makes mor sound like such a dick. this is literally cruel; she knows hes got intense feelings for her but she does this still?? is this some kind of power trip she likes???

yes it can be heart breaking to lose a friend but at the same time stringing them along and being so elusive is worse is it not?? yes it will probably hurt az a lot especially if his feelings are super intense but i think they as characters are capable of going past this. it might not be like before, but they will still be supportive of one another.

but also consider this: what would be the consequence of rejecting azriel? will he go on a rampage? will he shut out the IC forever? will he abandon them? is there a darkness to him that makes mor afraid to speak her actual feelings? cuz i feel like at worst it would be a few awkward moments here and there but ultimately it would just be over with and they will be friends again. does she really believe that az would continue to be a hopeless puppy following her around in the hope of her loving him forever or does she think he’ll reject love forever if she rejects him? she hasn’t given him actual romantic love back so he might not be missing much. and even her words about fucken helion just to remind az she’s not interested is treating him shity enough (which also leads me to why does he love mor? did he know her before rhys brought her to the illyrian camp all those years ago when she and cassian did it?) i know she wants to keep liking females a secret, but rejecting az won’t make people automatically assume she isn’t straight.

i can’t help but think literally all of mor’s reasoning for not telling az and keeping the dynamic going is garbage. the stakes aren’t that high! shes being a bad friend and stifling both cassian and azriel! idk how az’s heart isn’t already breaking?? im really mad SJM is trying to play this up as a big thing and making this dynamic seem so important to these characters but for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret. azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

on another note thats vaguely related to the above post: i re-read the scene in ACOWAR where mor confesses her true sexuality to feyre and im thinking why can’t mor just be bi? i’m not super well versed about sexuality here so correct me if im wrong but making her sleep w other males just to throw off the idea that she likes females sounds.......wrong?? why does SJM frame taking males to bed as this tool mor needs to keep up the secret of her preferring females but at the same time saying mor still likes sleeping w males too. so does that not define bisexuality??? does mor being bi take away from the impact of her not liking azriel??? mor feels like a diversity token rather than genuine queer character imo.

also why does knowing she prefers females hurt her in anyway? does she think her father is gonna send out assassins to murder her lovers? whats the cost benefit analysis to that? mor already controls hewn city, has rhys + IC as backup. and going by the logic mor puts out, does it matter that she takes female lovers as long as she can can produce heirs/continue the bloodline (because thats what her shitty family prioritizes)?? i feel like she can do both tbh. i see that its the emotional component that mor values and i can understand trying to shield something precious to her since her family has hurt and ruined so much of her life. the only significance i can read from this is that SJM is trying to show representation of closeted folks in the form of mor which i guess is fine if you vibe with her in that way??

this is the part of the ACOTAR lore that throws me off: i feel like sexual fluidity would be the norm for faes. these folks live forever and they will only stick to being straight? hard to believe personally. mor mentions that in her family specifically she is considered a “prized mare” who is great for popping babies but a) fae babies are rare already so i dont think she can just pop babies unless thats part of her power b) they just need her to “breed” so taking other lovers shouldnt be a problem either so long as mor’s family have babies to “continue the bloodline” c) is faithfulness an unspoken law? is polygamy frowned upon? these are immortal creatures why would they keep to one lover? babies are rare so from purely biological/survival stand point wouldnt faes have to have multiple lovers in order to reproduce???

#amandabookthoughts #acotar #morrigan #the morrigan #azriel #cassian #mor x azriel x cassian #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruins #sarah j maas #acotar discourse #acotar thoughts #mor x azriel #sorry folks for the long post #this has been bothering me for a while #so i am putting it into words #truly i am open to a discussion #is this consider bad writing?? #SJM #inner circle #mor #a little bit #anti mor #moriel #a court of mist and fury #a court of frost and starlight

[roguestarsailor]

ACOTAR has a permanent home in my brain now so when I saw this tiktok I immediately thought about the archeron sisters.

this is not an issue w the plot or anything but personally I think it's wild that nesta wasn't the first one to jump head first into helping the family and that elaine was the default favorite while freye, the youngest, least experienced, least everything compared to literally everyone else, was the one who was like I have to save this family and go through the grueling survival stuff. I would assume the father would be attached to her the most since she was so young and the baby and needs protection and will shit on him the least since youngest tend to have a happier, innocent look at life. It does take me out of the story when the older siblings didn't think freye needed protection when they themselves are more grown up and have an idea about life and work and should have an idea about survival. I know the excuse is that they were so attached to the idea of being wealthy socialites/ladies in waiting type of thing that they can't fathom being anything below that so they just stick to that one path in life and refused to believe they were poor but that doesn't sit right with me. nesta has the mind of steel (i.e not letting tamlins glamor effect her, smart about what needs to be done, watches out for freye and elaine all the time), I would assume she would be the quickest to assess the situation and figure out a way out??? Having her sit by to let her father figure it out feels out of character to me. Like shes sitting with anger which doesn't feel right?? I think she would call out her dad first and foremost?? And then she would leave him when he doesn't do anything and take freye and Elaine w her (this is the assumption that older siblings tend to have to grow up faster, parents tend to rely on eldest to help get things done so they turn into pseudo parents)? Ok let's say that freye ended up going hunting and stuff, I refuse to believe that nesta would just sit home and not do anything? I figure she go with her or figure out how to sell things, idk learn some other sort of trade to help the family. I don't think she would just be angry all the time and also chide freye regularly when she knows freye risks her life like everyday for them (but I'm aware it's freyes bias POV on this bit). maybe she would fight to go herself?? Idk about that part but I really don't buy that nests would be so passive.

I might be reading too much into the situation (and adding my own experience into this) but this family dynamic takes me out of the story a lot and has always bothered me when the conversation reverts back to freye being like I have to protect my precious sisters and they can't function without me POV. I really don't think your sisters are as helpless and thoughtless and unhelpful as she makes them out to be.

#amandathoughts #acotar #a court of thornes and roses #freye #archeron sisters #nesta archeron #nesta stan #freye archeron #archeron family #sarah j maas #ya lit #acotar discourse #amandabookthoughts #elain archeron

[roguestarsailor]

TURNS OUT MY TOUR EDITION OF ACOSF WONT SHIP TIL 22 WHICH IS 7 DAYS AFTER RELEASE! I HAVE TO WAIT AT MINIMUM AN ENTIRE WEEK FOR IT TO GET HERE!! ILL GO LITERALLY CRAZY??

#amandabookthoughts #acosf #a court of silver flames #nesta #nessian #sjm

[roguestarsailor]

So I really do not like is Elain in ACOTAR and I want to explore why I feel this way. This is going to be a critique of Elain and a critique of SJM too.

So I think about this tweet whenever I feel passionately about a character; many of the characters I love or hate clearly have these things outlined.

Elain is positioned as a central character who is vital to be part of the main protagonist group but she doesn’t have any supporting characteristics that make her valuable or interesting as a character. If you parallel her story to literally any other main characters, they all have grit, flaws and passion whereas Elain doesn’t. The story really doesn't change when you take Elain out of the equation. Her only relevance happens in ACOWAR and she weaves in and out. She’s so absent most of the time, and she’s barely thought about more than precious and gentle and likeable. that doesn’t make the character interesting.

Elain is the type of character that other characters react to. Sometimes I think she should have died in the cauldron because she was the type of character that would motivate people to action. She functions best as a symbol of purity and good that everyone will throw themselves for or go to the end of the earth for. Even from Freye’s point of view, she would do anything to defend her sisters and most of all her gentle and caring Elaine. Even the description of Elain being shoved into the cauldron with Freye and Nesta pleading and struggling to save Elain was intense! if Elain had died, this would have made the reason to go to war significantly more impactful, more heated and more personal. We would get to see so much action from Freye and Nesta; we could have watch these characters flex their strengths and grow into more powerful women (another critique is that Amren and Mor are supposedly top tier individuals but we don’t see what they're actual function is within the night court. we see Cassian and Azriel doing their thing and hold meetings w Rhys but not those two?? they just hang out in Valaris). We would even see politics change in Prythian! We got a glimpse of what they did at the High Lords Meeting and then we saw them speak united after the war in the human realm in ACOWAR. Imagine the possibilities! So many directions this could go.

This story isn’t suppose to be lovely. It’s not suppose to be a happy ending (although a bit cheesy but good amount). Every character has a dark past, and have to overcome their traumas. Every character had to make choices they don’t like and have suffered in the most intense way possible. UTM scenes in the ACOTAR was actually hard for me to read the first time around because I wasn’t aware of how dark it was going to be. But we saw the impact on Freye and watching her overcome that which was the main reason why i kept reading (ACOMAF is by far the best book in the series for its healing arc). 

So letting all these characters thrive despite all of it is interesting and the reason why I keep thinking about and reading and rereading these books! This is where SJM failed Elain’s character. She doesn’t have conflict. Her conflicts are surface level at best i.e. marriage to gregory (or whatever), society life and nothing in her character says she will fight for what she loves. Nobody dislikes Elain, Elain doesn’t dislike anybody (except maybe Luciein). What motivates her? We see her fit in so well the the IC on Solstice, she thrives in Valaris, she’s even made friends out of Cerridwen and Nuala. She enjoys gardening and she enjoys caring for others, shopping for others, etc. She seems to have her life relatively together compared to literally everyone else.

What did give me pause and peaked my interest in Elain was when she asked Amren why she chose the female body form (ACOFAS, pg 109). When I read that scene, I thought she was asking about changing gender like being trans fae which would really be taking her character in a whole new direction, potentially sexuality exploration too?? But turns out she asked because she wanted to know the possibility of changing into a human again. I know ACOFAS showed her mourning her father and being sad and quiet all the time which is normal and fine. But conversations with her (at least with Freye’s POV) shows she’s still stuck on being human or living a human life again which makes her character stagnate and hard to tell a story that would be interesting. At least Nesta has moved on to more than just mourning her human life and see her clearly struggling through it all.

Elain seems to only be valuable as a symbol more than anything. She isn’t essential to the story, not saying she didn’t play a good role in the war effort but by in large, her story arc was bland. Take her out and the story would have to find a new route but nothing will be amiss. Her worth as a character is based on the hope that she does more, the love people have for these type of character and a symbol for “good” in the world which isn’t compelling enough and doesn’t make her character interesting. The only interesting part about Elain is that people can project their Elriel or Elucien ships onto or people just like because she’s unproblematic and agreeable.

But I want to end with hope with what direction Elain’s character could take. I can’t think about a situation where Elain would leave the comforts of Valaris on her own, so it would have to be with someone. I don’t see her character growing with Azriel. Azriel is chained to Night Court and to Rhys (and if we want to see him grow he needs to take a different direction away from Night Court and maybe not someone who comforts him all the time??). Although I do see her story growing with Lucien. Lucien has no residence and for now he’s fitting well with the Band of Exiles who are in the human realm and maybe they go on an adventure there and Lucien introduces her to the new human realm or she introduces Lucien to her human life or something (I don’t really care about the mate stuff since rhys said ppl can reject the mate so??? its not anything important?? not enough info for me to care about tbh). To be fair, I have been reading elucien like this and I can see how Elain and Lucien compliments each other but that doesn’t make Elain’s character any interesting on her own which is sad. I hope Elain becomes more than what she has been. I hope she starts fighting for the things she loves (it doesn’t have to be physically), I hope she isn’t so passive and I hope she finds her way of bringing fire into herself. Every character has that grit and passion, I demand she has the same or what is the fucken point??

#amandathoughts #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #freye archeron #elucien #elriel #anti elain #a bit #sarah j maas #sjm #a court of frost and starlight #elain can exist as a background character #and it would be fine #acotar critique #acotar discourse #amandabookthoughts

[roguestarsailor]

i just finished serpent and dove and it was .... nice

tldr; i enjoyed the love between lou and reid soooo muchh! its very much nina x matthias vibes and it’s great to have a story with a similar dynamic! i love how feral lou is and reid is the epitome of a disciplined soldier who loosens up! even just changing their core beliefs was fun ride and i enjoyed it a lot. its still a 3.5/5 for me though because there was a lot of things that didn’t make sense or drawn out unnecessarily.

lou is such a fun protagonist! i love that she has so much personality and that goofiness that was so fun to read! reid is adorable! and i especially liked that he was a consistent character! i actually even like that he wasn’t like a sex-god that a lot of YA/NA books tend to write. i think its so endearing that he waited and shows that he truly is a proper corporal man lol. i love the banter, i love the way lou makes him fluster and i HOPE HOPE HOPE they keep doing that. i love when reid gets flustered! the supporting cast is fun especially ansel! he is such a baby!

the magic in this is interesting take and i want to read more about it. its like some of the witches are allowed to use magic but it requires a give and take type thing. i can’t fully conceptualize that and i’m wondering how the rules of this story is written. i’ve never read a witch story like this so i give this +10 points for creativity. but this concept of balance/give-take relationship with nature makes sense! witches are intune with the natural world and it would make sense to give something back as they utilize it.

overall i am pleased and i would love to explore this world more! i dont LOVE this book because i felt like it was unnecessarily drawn out (i dont think almost 500 pages needed to exist to tell this story) and i had to suspend a lot of beliefs to buy into this world (lou is constantly getting beaten up, magic is strange, pacing, situations that felt like it could be handled differently, etc). there was a lot to love but there was something meh about it. there were many times where i got confused about who was talking and there were a lot of cryptic shit here and there that was suppose to build drama but felt like it was unnecessary. i was initially reluctant to pick it up because of the religiousness of it all and there was quite a bit of it mixed into it but as long as it made the story make sense it was mostly fine.

i will say the fanart is what made me want to read this book. i love the illumicrate bookmark with lou and reid on it and it was adorable. i am such a sucker for height difference couplings!

*some musings about this story*

something that i’m kind of cautiously worried about is framing the witches as these radical extremists while sympathizing with the chasseurs/royals/church where this story ends with peace between moderate witches and toned down royals/church. the witches hate that the royals and church because they took their lands and are fighting to get it back and honestly that such a powerful endeavor and i understand the anger (similar to indigenous folks who lose their land and their livelihood is tied to nature). the royals and church seems to be the biggest oppressors despite the witches performing indecent deeds on humans and indocterinating groups of men to absolutely hate and brutalize these groups of people without a second thought is scary and then having lou and coco becoming this rebellious thieves is...interesting. 

saving their land sounds like a worthy cause but lou doesn’t want to do it because a) she doesn’t want to die b) it meant killing the king and his linage (who are innocent but this doesn’t include reid yet) and c) she wants to be free to live her life d) doesn’t want to hurt innocent people. i’m not saying her choices are wrong and she did say she was “selfish” but why weren’t her goals to figure out another solution?? taking one’s lands back is such a powerful thing for these witches especially if their very power is tied to it? and she sees her sisters get burned at the stake and tortured and dehumanized by the chasseurs so why wouldn’t she fight??? but i guess i’ll cut her some slack because she’s running from her mom and her perceived responsibility and guilt of not dying to save her sisters. i do love the stakes in this story and paves way for a more interesting directions and i hope that lou finds power in herself and maybe even be a real leader.

theres still 2 more books to go so I won’t say anything about that but I am hoping it doesn’t end the typical way YA Fantasy lit ends. i want the witches to win more than i sympathize w the royals + church.

*edit* this meme encompasses my fears really really well!!!

#serpent and dove #amandabookthoughts #shelby mahurin #lou x reid

[roguestarsailor]

One Day In December is such a good novel. I can’t believe I read the scorpio book recommendation and picked this up; whoever the astrologer person from the library is they really hit the mark. My god im literally sobbing. This is so goood!

Laurie and Jack have the most ordinary and mundane yet antsy and frustrating love story ever. I mean, this is a romcom so obviously they’ll end up together but the book spends like +300 pages making it seem impossible for that to happen! So many life moments that really shove them together but also tear them apart. So much unspoken tension!! So much unspoken truths!! so much to lose!! But as it near the ending and they’re both really figuring out their lives instead of finding distractions, or brushing aside feelings and red flags, and BOOM right in the feels. ahhh, i’ve never teared up for a love story before but I did for this! wow!!

“Might as well,” I grumbled. “My love life is official dead.”

Sarah screws up her finished-with fish-and-chip paper. “You’ve only got yourself to blame,” she says.

She’s referring to bus boy, of course. He’s reached near-mythical status now, and I’m on the very edge of giving up on him. Ten months is a long time to look for a complete stranger on the off-chance that they’ll be single, into me, and not an axe murderer. Sarah is of the vocal opinion that I need to move on, by which she means I need to find someone else before I turn into a nun. I know she’s right, but my heart isn’t ready to let him go yet. That feeling when we locked eyes--I’ve never had that before, ever.

i dog-eared this page because this is meeeeeeeeeeeee. not that ive ever had a love at first sight sighting in my entire life (but no one is gonna stop me from not making eye contact on public transport and hoping for the best!!). i love that Laurie is just as wistful; makes me feel better about myself (and makes me foolishly hopeful!!!) lol.

*spoilers*

Anyways, the time passage through this book was speedy; literally years pass as we read on. I was so anxious because its like long stretches of time passes and it literally takes years for them to officially get together. This is very different than other romcom books I’ve read since those generally is more quick to lead to the happy ending. And I guess it’s true. Love develops over time and at the same time, the time needed to *try* to get over someone but also figure yourself out as you age through your twenties. It’s never constantly spending time with someone either; its long stretches of time away from each other too. Most of the things that happen are really really mundane. It’s not grand, its not dramatic and its very quiet. Nobody makes quick decisions here and it’s so drawn out. 

It’s like how working at a job you hate can just escape you and you end up staying for too long. This book covers both the career stalemate and the love portion--staying in a relationship because you’ve built it and its actively choosing to keep it going even though it obvious not going to last. Even when Sarah and Laurie have their fall out, a good distance between time passes and I think that’s very normal. Even when they reunite again, its quiet and just casual and they slowly work back up to being the bestest friends again. Laurie and Jack relationship’s was actively trying not to engage with one another and it really showed--but its not completely radio silence nor intense heated moments. It’s fleeting because they both recognize that if they got together they would hurt Sarah, and then eventually Oscar and probably themselves the mostly. It’s watching them seeing the other person be with someone else or moving through life at a different speed and feeling like they’re too late and then having their paths diverge even more and then connecting at realizing the feelings are still here, and then diverging again and coming again. Their relationship is the definition of missed opportunities!!! But I think this is the most accurate account of adult relationships I’ve ever read so far and its really refreshing.

^ my literal face as i read the last few pages

*personal thoughts*

This gave me a really good insight into the world of dating and relationships and love. I am so used to reading these big grand things happening that the universe allow these two people to meet and create this magic. There’s the hurdles to jump through but they get through in the end and its implied that because they have the biggest element, which is love, means that they will be ok. They might have friends who root for them, they have little mice and birds to help them, so many elements in a typical romcom universe that pushes these two together. But this book was different.

As Jack dates Sarah, we know they don’t fit well but they stick it out. They actively try to date and get to know each other so they spend months to years dating. And its not that Jack only thinks about Laurie but rather its always in the background. Laurie tried to stay out of the way and Jack does the same. It’s wild to think that someone you have an almost instant connection with might not actually be what you want and you have to actively see the reality of the situation and actively live your life. To figure out if what you have with that person can technically work--makes it clear that a relationship IS work. It’s not passionate and fire! it’s very small, its texting every day and slowly giving a piece of yourself to this person. And its inconvenient as hell!!! Even Laurie being with Oscar, and actually getting married and trying to make married life work for them was mundane and average. There was no point where there was a dramatic STOP THE WEDDING, or like screaming “I Love You’s” and such for Laurie and Jack. Nobody was the bad guy and did the bad thing that made people realize that they don’t belong together; none of that! Oscar never cheated or became problematic, even Jack realized that have casual relationships wasn’t for him; nothing dramatic like that at all. Nobody actively objected to Laurie/Oscar’s union and nobody was actively rooting to get Jack and Laurie together. It had to be them, as individuals, choosing each other which is so fucken sweet and such a good expectation to have regarding romance love. Even though it started as a chance love at first sight moment, it ended up being them actively choosing and actively seeking out their own happiness and idea of what they want in life and then declaring it, separately, to each other that made them work as a couple. well there was a bit of a fanfare at the end of the book but it was cute. It was normal people! finding love! for each other!! I love this so much!!!

Songs to include in this Playlist I am 1000% gonna made for this book: invisible strings by Taylor Swift, Enchanted by Taylor Swift, gold rush by Taylor Swift, Speak Now by Taylor Swift, Permanent by Kygo, In Your Eyes by The Weekend, Heat Waves by Glass Animals, Just For A Moment by Gryffin, Iselin, Comeback by Carly Rae Jepsen, Bleachers, Don’t Give Up On Love by Kygo, Losing It Over You by Matoma, Ayme

#amandabookthoughts #one day in december #love at first sight #josie silver #contemporary romance #na literature #love story