#its been hard coming to terms with this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darcyolsson · 1 year

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#me i want to believe im a pcm girlie but im not..... ibuprofen just works better for me i fear #its been hard coming to terms with this #personal

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presiding · 2 months

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humansider by @lapinneok

#dishonored #the outsider #death of the outsider #humansider #AU in which he takes up art :)#kind of interesting to consider him to go from someone who is removed from the tales he's narrating #to switching to a more immediate hands on style of communication now that living is more like that. you know?#last year i started work on a post-doto fic #its a coming of age for two people who are far older than the usual 'coming of age' protags. for different reasons.#billie and humansider are figuring out their lives now that everything has changed. featuring some cute corvosider #and billie x emily. who are even more complicated than usual. god help us.#i've been distracted by a jessamine is a literal ghost AU which is more experimental in terms of style and hopefully hard-hitting #but i can only selfishly keep a comm to myself for so long. so please enjoy <3 #the colours & lighting in this are absolutely beautiful #my commissions

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s0fter-sin · 1 month

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new poll time lads

#i dont really know how people feel about notfics on ao3 so im putting the feelers out #also if notfic is an outdated term its like my circus and dancer aus #concepts that might have dialogue somehwere but are mostly just pure idea #its more so i can know theyre all actually posted somewhere #and have them all together #tumblr is the worst bc posts will just not show up in the tags for whatever reason #and twitter just eats things sometimes #like i have 1.5k followrs on twt and still get almost no views sometimes #so its for me as much as you guys #and follow up question if youve read this far would you want them all in one or have cod and mha seperate?#lemme know!#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #it’s hard to be the bard #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #erasermic #soap cod #john soap mactavish #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #cod fic #cod

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puppyeared · 8 months

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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

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blluespirit · 4 months

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I sort of like the thought that Zuko and Aang take the Sun Warriors' warning not to tell anyone about the dragons a little more seriously… and they keep it between them. Of course, they trust Sokka, Toph and Katara. Of course they know they wouldn’t tell anyone, but now three people (including Iroh) know the truth about Ran and Shaw. And that’s three too many when you’re trying to keep a secret.

(and there are other people at the temple as well - like Haru, Teo and The Duke - who, while trustworthy, aren’t as close to them as the others, and when it comes to secrets with as much consequence as this one, you can’t afford to take any chances.)

Furthermore, the culture within the Fire Nation since Sozin’s rein has been warped. The culture is not to respect the dragons as the original firebenders, it’s to conquer and kill them. It’s the ultimate proof of your strength as a firebender. All it takes is one mistake before rumour spreads, and people go looking for the ultimate hunt. It’s not something Zuko or Aang can risk.

Whether Katara, Toph and Sokka (and Suki) ever find out the truth is up to you. But post-war, after Zuko returns from a strange, poorly explained trip with a dragon, and eventually develops the ability to use rainbow fire, either the others have some questions about Aang’s knowing look, or they are finally let in on a monumental secret.

#it’s a kids show so i think for that reason it was played for laughs about keeping the dragons a secret is not necessarily a bad choice...#the show does that sometimes where it says something off hand and then leaves me lying face down contemplating ✨the consequences✨ of that #but there are some… implications there about being too loose lipped with the truth in leading up to the end of and immediately post #war fire nation. just because zuko understands the spiritual significance of a dragon it does not mean the rest of his people will. actuall #its more likely that they'd reject zuko's opinion considering that he's basically coming into power and then telling everyone that #they've been lied to their whole lives. the fire nation is drowning in propaganda. for a lot of people this opinion of dragons and #firebending's true nature being violence and destruction is all they know. fire is LIFE but to most people that's an alien concept #and in terms of keeping secrets - it’s not even a matter of trust it’s a matter of too many people knowing #you might not even realised you’ve revealed some incredible information to someone who has the means to spread it or pursue it #so… i think zuko would be hyper aware of this. since he grew up hearing stories about the 'glory' of dragon hunting #and since iroh has also made a concerted effort to keep this information hidden i think it makes sense he’d be very hesitant to let it #get out to the public #aang would agree i think esp if zuko explained the importance of hiding them even from loved ones #ALSO random but it also makes me wonder what the fire nation said about roku in wake of the war #he had a dragon but he didn’t kill it. he didn’t ’conquer’ it #sozin would have had to work his ASS off to reframe history as him being the more… loyal(?) patriotic (?) of the two #did he frame it as roku didn’t have the courage to kill a dragon??? that he lacked the strength of a true firebender?#the avatar works hard but sozin's propaganda machine works harder 🧍‍♀️#zuko #aang #avatar the last airbender #zuko & aang #jack talks #sun warriors #book 3 #what is it with me having a whole separate post in the tags 👁️👄👁️

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justicerikai · 2 months

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official-kun,

why desuka.

explain kudasai.

#text #i am not being a hater but some choices baffle me so much #like iori's luliho...#its the same as kuso kichi inwhich its a unique term associated w that character #like if you ever were to hear someone say “luliho” somewhere randomly you'd go like “oh! charisma!!! iopi!!!!” right #the same way “yahallo” functions when it comes to the oregairu series #now kusokichi is a tougher one to truly keep as is but #LULIHO?? YOU COULDVE KEPT THAT.#also the choice to translate luliho #but not some of rikais puns #nandedayo naichau wa #also pls dont get me wrong-#i love localisations & translations and a lot of times i am /defending/ official locs even #my grievances comes from the fact that i feel like official is failing Me...#its hard to not feel that way when u've been at the frontlines TLing this series and spreading it like a fookin disease all over the intern #et #and 3 yrs later oh yay official subs and they are milquetoast at best. servicable. soggyroll tier.#and im mad bcus i fcking love some the lyric TLs but other times its like “?!”#say nein to your troubles and go str8 to ten is fcking crazy good #and now im assaulted with henlo which feels like an assasination of iopis quirkiness #you take away his gamer references #you take away his luliho #what is next official-kun #i fear you

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toastsnaffler · 6 months

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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months

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...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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visualnovelboyfriend · 5 months

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i lvoe that butch lesbians beinf mistaken as gay men post so dearly it holds a special palce in my heart

#especially as a fruity butchwho is already getting mistaken for a gay man all the time #im not but it is funny tosay that while just. existing as i do #idk its been ahrd to come to terms with the way i do mascukinity (badly)#i had a lot of peopel doubt my idenrity if i wasnt hard masc #and i was alwasy either a Man or a Girl to them dependng on how well i did #so being in a bettwr space where i can just fucking exist and do my gay ltitle mannerisms is nice #that psot where its like. asking lesbians their biggest inspiration for masculjnity and they all reply taht its gay men. idk.#the thigns we share are nice to acknowledge :)

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piesa2 · 10 days

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everyone is pitying me and i dont know how to feel about that

#i mean i pity myself its bad for me right now and i need help and support because i simply can not do this without it but also #i deeply wish i was not doing just so extremely bad and i wish i didnt need to be pitied #i think im doing worse than when my parents got divorced and i didnt see my dad for 3 months like its. probably the worst time of my life #which is such a nice stopper on the past four years probably having been the best years of my life! and i only have a couple weeks of that #time left and all i can do is feel just. bad. all the time #but then im also affraid people think i’m just overreacting or complaining or whining or whatever and like. rationally i know i cant #help how i feel and what is happening to me but also it just makes me feel weak. this shouldnt be so hard. this wouldnt be so hard for a #normal person. and im having difficulty coming to terms with like. this is just who i am. i cant do everything other people might be able to #im sensitive in a lot more ways and yk its good to realise im not unique in that way but im also not average.#ugh sorry im trying not to vent Online but bluehg

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despite-everything · 1 month

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me: okay well my ankle is horribly sprained but it'll be okay it wasn't a break and hey my knee is doing okay these days right? it's fine.

my knee: *fucking cracks 6 times and starts throbbing again*

#like jesus fucking christ can i please catch a break #esp with how much ive been wanting to play sports and goof off lately #and my body is completely fucking me over #im sorry yall im just having a really hard time with coming to terms with my permanent disability #and how its only getting worse #its really fucking hard. really really hard #tree talks

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luvring · 1 month

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hi nia, i hope u r doing good! i just wanted to drop by and lyk that to me u r The Keiji Expert, like u know him so well!!! and have such a good grasp on his character and everything i love it !!!!!!

pls drop any and all of ur thoughts for him, i live for them

GUH?! guys every time i write him i'm like wowww... this is kind of ass.. LOL it's the same thing w aki.. don't trust myself... agh. anyway. THANK U VERY MUCH!!! 🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️ this + bkak + being nice silly and fun are all i need to be known for so i've basically succeeded in Tumblr atp. yeagh. AKAASHI!

when it comes to merch and decor,, he's more likely to focus on walls + figures.. he doesn't know where to put a bunch of plushies BSHSJDJS i don't think he'd get Big figures, except maybe a couple for his absolute favourites.. twas an investment. that shit is expensive. < girl who wanted this aki figure ☹️

^ picture of u on the wall that's always visible while he works. Always.

even if his background isn't a photo of you guys, he'd do photo widgets on his phone !! ^____^

i don't think he does anything with phone contacts... it's just their name and a lot of the time he doesn't put an icon or anything 😭 he'd add a heart emoji next to ur name and of course have a photo for u though!! 🥹

his bag has a dedicated sort of trash pocket that's just a mess a lot of the time BSHSJDJ he throws sticky notes, wrappers, etc. in there if there isn't a garbage can nearby 😭

Cosplayer Keiji 🤯🤯 GELLOOO my god. he could be hirotaka just by putting on a suit tbh. and then i'd explode obviously. but like... cosplayer keiji.... if anypony has ideas for who/what he could cosplay Pls let me know. HAAGHHHH

couple cosplays 😂🤣😂🤣😵 MY LEG. i just keeled over HOWL AND SOPHIE mmmgmynhgsieonHAJAOAN🤯🤯🤯

whatveer. idont even care

tucking him in 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ you do it as a joke but of course he goes with it and lets you wrap him up and take off his glasses and kiss his head and he's smiling the Entire Time ohlymgocxnomymekdjn

going with jokes. yeah. he just goes with your shit a lot of the time because he trusts you LOL. you try couple trends and pranks and he gives you suspicious looks but does what you ask anyway.

^ the lipstick trend ☹️☹️☹️ WHYYY MYGODD WHYYY . YOU. 🫵🫵 Reader. take a breath and imagine him with a baggy t-shirt and messy hair and glasses and lipstick stains all over him and his hands on your waist while you kiss him and him going "another one?" with a breathy laugh WJYYY MY MISERABELLFIEEJEID😭😭😭😭😭

hhahh... Haggghhhhhh......... my chest iscaving ijn

Ok. you know the "his gaze softened" thing. yeah. well. for keiji it's not like. mean cold broody guy who gets soft. it's the quiet but nice guy who evidently feels out of place and is anxiously looking around who relaxes and smiles when he sees you enter the room WHO'S WITH ME!

He likes I Will by Mitski. he's a Mitski Enjoyer. Because I Say So. he's my beautiful boyfailure prince angel loser cat who fell into a bowl of water of course he likes mitski guysplels keiji i thinkzYou'd love a loving feeling and the frost and real men and humpty and pink in the night and nobody and should've been me And

occasional punk/metal enjoyer keiji .? walk with me. someone take my hand. ptv slipknot soad korn orbit culture somebody needs to walk with me here

doesn't have a huge appetite... if he's at hot pot he can probably finish but 1) he's full and 2) he planned what he'd get based on past failures to finish his food. like i love boyfriends who can finish your meal if you can't (< girl who gets full) but i think things may end up a team effort 🫡🫡

just lies on the floor and listens to music sometimes. if you walk in on him he doesn't move but will welcome you to join him with open arms ! 🫂

oh 🥹 keiji working super hard on gifts for you... coloured paper and youtube videos so he can figure out how to make a paper flower bouquet 🥹 he starts getting paper crafts/origami skills because of this fr fr