#its getting outta control

[spotsupstuff]

when the General System Bus is General System Busing. RW becoming a true Pixel Game. what happens when an Iterator catches a cold. we fuckIN LOST SUNNY IN THERE OUR SON EVAPORATED

aka me n shkiki played RW together, it was a wild ass ride

#Spot says stuff #rw #i suggested we should play as lilypad n then i proceeded to call shkik wife honey and other pet names for like 90% of time #naturally i was NSH and shkik was Moon and Sunny showed up out of nowhere (early) after a white lizard merc'd me in industrial #some kind of husband codin turned on in my brain cuz i killed like. five daddy long legs to ensure Safety of the other two i never killed- #-a daddy long legs before that LKVJDSMVLSKD once was when shkik was afk n i was meant to ferry the fam to the next shelter #that was So stressful cuz i had to figure out her controls collect Suns and then collect Her and then QUICKLY get outta there cuz a daddy- #-was like five cm from catchin our ass. then it didnt wanna leave from where we needed to go so i just. killed it. cuz apparently thats an- #-easy feat JLSKDMCSKLD im always so proud when i manage to clutch a clean save like that #oh! this was my first time goin thru Pebs the intended way as well!! so i properly got to experience unfortunate development. somehow i- #-managed to get thru on my second try. we were both very surprised. i blame artis bomb jump n shkiks guidance #and when we finally (both alive this time) managed to get to Pebs we realized we lost Suns somewhere along the way and like. they were just #-fuckin Gone couldnt find them for like 20 mins so we will be makin the journey again next time. we aint losin Sunny when their personality #-is that of a coward its too funny to lose that. either way praises to shkik for solving our memory crypts food crisis #we really hope to find a Pebbles soon so we can have the whole fam n panic twice as much. i gotta father those scrubs. so i shall.

[moeblob]

Hello! I'm here with ~another~ text post!

I unfortunately had assumed "ah yes, The Anxiety" has been my problem recently but in fact, no. It was The Depression! (or a combo, super likely!) Due to this, I will be taking a brief mental break from posting art here. The break may be three days, might be a week. Truly a mystery even to me.

I will be drawing daily so when I return I should have multiple pictures to show off which I will separate in posts by fandom. Drawing really helps calm me down unless I get to the point where it feels like a performance obligation which it currently feels like.

I appreciate your patience and I hope to be okay enough to be back soon.

(also, my ask box on this blog has been disabled until I return)

#moe talks a lot #not art #i feel like a take like some random mental health week every year but hey it helps take pressure off #and if i dont have to worry about pleasing everyone then i start to doodle more - at least in the past #sorry for all my anxious tags yesterday i just kinda like uh #dont have the energy to do much except think so my thoughts kinda spiral outta control and zone in #on like one silly little topic and one silly little comment ive gotten in the past #and if you follow me on twitch and see me start streaming yeah thats to get a social aspect in shhh #i like streaming doodles and it really relaxes me which means i might stream a fair amount while i recover #tfw you try to treat Your Anxiety with medication and it doesnt really work bc its not anxiety issues #but its a med that makes you mellow so then your depressed and mellow yeah thats been me lately oops

[waywardsalt]

im thinking about possession aftereffects that linebeck experiences immediately after the events of phantom hourglass, so here are bullet points i have down for my own ideas

he’s out cold for roughly five days after the fight. he’s conscious for a bit after being freed, but it doesn’t take long for him to collapse once he’s transported back to the great sea. link finds him when he reaches his ship to see him again (he takes a lifeboat or w/e from tetras ship its a whole thing and not the point) and ends up having to take care of him for those five-ish days.

while he’s out cold, he develops a bad fever, and has a good few physical injures from being possessed; all of his wounds from being possessed manifest as burns, the worst wounds bring cauterized and mostly closed, while smaller ones are still open wounds. the largest wound is a large burn covering most of his back, which is cauterized by the time he passes out, and then there are smaller, still open burns on his upper arms and legs. (the smaller wounds are manageable by link when he follows some medical instructions, [there are some medical books on the ship] the larger one is also manageable, but takes a lot longer to properly heal).

(link asks tetra and her crew to stick around for a while to keep linebeck stabilized while he’s unconscious. when linebeck wakes up, tetra and her crew are good to leave because then linebeck can better report what’s going on, and knows how to handle injuries).

linebeck’s fever persists after he wakes up, and he experiences… pretty much every fever symptom, with especially bad chills and full-body aches. the aches are really bad for the first few days after he wakes up, he’s extremely physically weak and shaky for a while, too. that weakness and shakiness get better with time, but he doesnt go entirely back to normal without actually moving around and doing things to build that strength back up.

he’s delirious and struggles to stay awake for those first few conscious days, too, which makes that weakness and shakiness worse; he struggles to eat and drink water, and struggles to string together thoughts or words to talk to link, and both of them figure out pretty quickly that they’ll have to wait a bit longer before so much as an attempt to coax him out of bed can be made.

beyond existing problems with food, linebeck struggles to keep anything down while he recovers, and becomes ill pretty much every time after he eats anything, so a bucket is kept near his bed. with water, he obviously needs to drink a lot of it considering that he’s feverish, injured, and vomiting frequently, but while he’s sick he has a bit of an irrational fear of water (along with an irrational fear of air and the wind, which makes him hesitant to go outside while he’s sick).

he’s generally pretty irritable, which isn’t particularly new, but it makes him prone to refusing help with certain things. he’s less irritable when tired and just resting. he’s also especially nervous, and despite the overall fatigue, he struggles to sleep for very long while he’s sick, and as said before, is often delirious and even confused when things are bad.

along with the other difficulties eating, linebeck has a hard time swallowing for a bit, and salivates a lot more than normal while he’s sick. he is soooo fucking dehydrated the whole time and that really doesn’t help.

while the weakness and shakiness stays for the entire time he’s sick and even a bit afterwards, for the first few days after he wakes up he’s stiff and also experiences some muscle spasms and numbness in his limbs, and has a hard time keeping his balance the first few times he gets out of bed.

once the sickness clears up fully, linebeck has to still be careful with the scar on his back; it’s sensitive to touch for a while and hurts when exposed to the sun or air for too long and when he stretches his back too far, but eventually just reaches the point where it’s a bit sensitive but is otherwise just a large scar.

obviously he’s also going through the wringer in an emotional and mental illness sense too but those would require a whole new bullet point list.

#ask to tag #loz #legend of zelda #linebeck #phantom hourglass #this kinda just turned into early post ph chapter notes and you know what? i really needed it to be that way actually #post bellumbeck wounds manifest as burns bc i think that purple… ooze? from bellum is like fucking acid #also magic shit yadda yadda bellum burns those he possesses cuz like. melt skin so it fuses to whats touching it. yknow #salty talks #why does tetra’s crew leave when linebeck wakes up? linebeck wants them to leave and he wants to keep secret the fact that he got possessed #hes lucky that link doesnt say anything and lucky that tetra never saw any of it #he uses the story that he just got attacked by bellum and knocked out while link fought bellum #i might just leave his long term bellumbeck aftereffects at. huge burn scar on his back and some fun magic stuff #cuz he does go through all of this shit and survives what is basically literally fucking rabies its a lot of rabies symptoms #its like. mixture of real sickness/disease and Burn Wounds with a dash of. hmm what would he be experiencing as like #his body gets use to actually being in control of itself after that control is forcibly and violently hijacked by something else #also theres just some nasty shit in his blood/body in general which is why he vomits most of the time. get that shit outta here #also this whole scenario is ig a fun reversal since all of ph link is the one who gets injured/sick snd linebeck has to take care of him #so. switch things around. link is Going Through It as well this is DISTRESSING for him but he feels better while talking with linebeck #link being present seriously tipped things in linebecks favor. if he was alone he wouldve still survived. it wouldve fucking sucked tho #wouldve been really really hard but with enough effort and will to live linebeck could survive on his own thats important #seriously considering adding that at his worst he has seizures but i dont know enough abt those rn so maybe layer

[janerogan]

honestly take me back to when I was 14 reading any fic I could get my hands on with gay abandon. now someone uses the wrong punctuation for a character and I close out of it like sad 😔 another one bites the dust :(

#not to say people are writing WRONG. but my expectations and preferences have just gotten so honed and outta control that im so fussy now #fanfic writers i love you and you're doin an immense job!!!! #its solely a me thing #i gotta open my mind and broaden my horizons get back to when everything was worth a shot

[waterbearable]

fuck bhaal all my homies hate bhaal

#ari plays bg3 #big mad. i just want to kill orin. i understand that this is how fights work sometimes but. #HATE things being difficulty added just because more guys pop up outta nowhere. its annoying. i dont like it. #i have 2 go to bed anyway so theres no way i was gonna get the farslayer but i thought about it for 2 seconds after restarting #and then quit the game sgdjdjdj #props to ppl who have finished this game multiple times because some of these difficulty spikes are. Spiked. #and it is not as enjoyable when you know /you/ have hit a level cap but your enemies have not. #i do not want to be able to progress to level 18 or anything i get that thats a huuuge boost #but like. idk man. level 14? #i just feel like i hit max level way too early in act 3. #anyway i have been a hater for too long in the tags #i do enjoy the game! quite a bit! but act 3 fatigue Hits. i want baldurs gate to be a big city but its a Lot #like. we already know that orin controls the undercity and gortash the city proper. #maybe there could have been a way to make the player choose b/w accessing 1 of the 2 city halves first and then balancing the undercity more #the obstacles to get to orin just feel like a lot more and more draining and closer together #compared to the lead up to gortash #and like. theoretically you could hunt orin down first but part of me is like. how. how would i have done that #to clarify i think my ideal would have been rivington and wyrms crossing always available but then most of the lower city/sewers #should be inaccessible to the party until orin or gortash is killed. #like i kno a lot of ppl didnt enjoy it but i actually was pretty satisfied w act 2! i think some of the act 1 stuff should have been #part of it technically #but i felt like the length and the throughline was pretty decent. #act 3 is a little decision paralysis inducing in a way i dont super love #WOW that was a rant in the tags. ok. we're normal now. i just have Thots

[octoooo]

What would you do if you had control over beeees? All of ‘em, doesn’t matter how far way they are, you can pretty much summon bees whenever & wherever you want.

Anyway transition into my human Vespiquen design (Pokémon stuff)

Originally designed her back in July & hxixbdk here have the fully colored version

#Pokémon #Vespiquen #human pokemon #I guess? human but magic still because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to explain why she had Bee Control #anyway Vespiquen houses lil Combee in its body #but my human ver just has an awesome headpiece/crown #the gem being the source of Bee Control #drawing & coloring those bees took a lot outta me #my right hand was ready to retire lmao #octo’s art #if I had control over bees I would just pat one’s head #bc bees are cool but when they fly near me I get scared #might draw Wealive next or Espeon or Serperior or—

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did #bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried #another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one #machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem #god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8 #and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration #ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a #personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up #bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like #yayyy vacation soon ☺️ #ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine #ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought #my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home #god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great #i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc #thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days #and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst #move. bc again. im barely a functional person #god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive #down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno #unrelated

[piplupod]

quick post bc im fucking frustrated to tears rn over this (was just logging in to update my writing sideblog lmao) - the most infuriating and terrifying thing abt my current situation is that despite the lifelong abuse, i still cannot keep my fucking mouth shut sometimes

I've been doing what I can to keep myself up to date with what's happening news-wise without pushing myself into dangerous territory mentally/emotionally, and STILL I fucking suffer because I could not keep my mouth shut around parents TWICE now within the past couple days. and then i get into hot water with them and shit gets bad again and i lose whatever meager amounts of respect or trust or whatever semblance of human decency and kindness they had decided to give to me bc I'd "earned" it by being silent and agreeable.

all i said today was that i think Domino's might be a company to boycott bc my mother mentioned getting pizza for my brother's upcoming bday and then there was just a whole fucking awful thing and I just am so fucking angry w myself. it was so much easier and safer when i never had access to the internet bc i never knew anything that they didnt agree with so i could never say anything wrong in that regard. like at least i Know things now and can actually have opinions, but ... idk. sometimes I feel like it isnt worth it if I keep fucking myself over like this because I can't just hold my tongue.

#the other instance was me saying the same fucking shit abt mcdonalds to my dad yesterday when i was in the vehicle w him #i just. i could honestly strangle myself. why the fuck am i so stupid like this #I've learned this lesson over and over and over again. why can't i get it thru my fucking head to keep my mouth shut all the time #do not talk to them!! ever!! about anything!!! why is that so difficult for me!!! #just be a fucking bobblehead!! nod and agree!! stop fucking talking and having opinions and thoughts of ur own!!! #okay im outta here again now sorry fjdkdl I'll try to log back in and delete this when i update my nowrimo stuff again tomorrow #boohoo poor me wah wah theres ppl dying and i have the fucking gall to feel sorry for myself jfc i need to get a grip #if i just kept my mouth shut it'd literally be fine for the most part. so its just me being unable to control myself thats causing this #stop! talking!! even here!! shut up!! #abuse tw #ask to tag idk what else to tag this with sorry lmk if u need anything tagged and i will do so in the future #vent tw

[cowboy-robooty]

i am a landa x herrmann shipper in a world of aldo x landa......

#i dont even believe 'herrmann's name is actually herrmann #because landa calls all underranking soldiers he doesnt know 'herrmann' #since yknow that name translates to basically mr man #and i believe its for yaoi reasons because landa stumbles upon calling him herrmann because he knows his real name #but chooses to call him an anonymous herrmann because he wants to have absolute control and certainty that when they get their private #island on nantucket that he will be able to wipe away all of 'herrmann's past with no possibility of his name being sullied #he takes the extra step to further protect his 'herrmann' because even if he trusts his own name with the US #he doesnt trust 'herrmann's name in their hands #ouuuughh im sorry guys im sorry im sorry i sniff yaoi cocaine and think something is canon and will immediately live and die by it #i need to ship aldo x landa so bad.... but landa x herrmann calls for me #the babies i would sacrifice for inglourious basterds to be a TV show where we get to see landas backstory #idgaf ill risk him being confirmed not a faggot i just need moar inglourious basterds i want to know the backstory of each character deeply #PLEASE #delusional asf in the club creating entire backstory pulled outta my ass for landa #sorry guys im a freak #if i was a writer id be the guy on ao3 who writes a 300k fanfic about landas growing up n shit #doesnt even focus on the yaoi for 60% of it its basically just landa growing up and yaoi with herrmann was just needed to tell that story

[constantvariations]

Can anyone tell me where the fuck the idea of "Monty's Vision" came from despite the fact that the man clearly operated entirely on Rule of Cool?

#rwde #the man is clearly a pantser not a gardener so wtf even is this logi #i straight up didnt know some people were still using the vision argument as anything other than satire #it dont make sense bruv #sun and penny were last minute additions #torchwick was supposed to be a 1 ep villain #maidens werent even conceptualized until v3 #where the absolute fuck is this vision people are talking abt??? #if it was abt the vibes of the show then id get it but folks be talking shit like arcs and plot direction and they lose me #mr oum specialized in fight choreography right??? thats worlds away from a whole ass sci fantasy world from scratch #idk man i think people should keep mr oums name outta their fucking mouths unless its smth abt his DIRECT contribution #no need to diss a dead man over shit he can't control

[sansxfuckyou]

Ok so you know how this multichapter fic I'm making that I've kinda told u a bit of the lore Abt. Three chapters so far and it has like what? 8k words? Well I'm already writing the 5th chapter (haven't posted the fourth yet bc I gotta do some more character illustrations L)

It's 8k words

And counting

I'm not even fucking done and this shit is double what I've posted so far

FUCK YEAH. ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF US

#asks #the bestie dunia #writing #just wait until its wayyyyyyyy outta your control #just remember #the mer/pirate AU fic I'm working on is about halfway through the scene and at 12K words #so don't worry #sometimes the character get a bit silly with it and shit goes way outta your control

[infizero]

im gonna go fucking insane i need to know more about kris' past with the bunker NOWWWWWW

#i am personally definitely of the belief that the bunker is where dess disappeared and kris saw it happen #and/or saw Something In There that scared tf outta them #and i definitely think its likely that kris was maybe the one to suggest they all go in there and so they feel guilty for dess disappearing #and noelle tries not to but she resents them a little. and thats why their friendship became so distant/strained #<- it being '''''kris' fault''''' isnt necessary for this to happen tho ofc #but man. can you imagine being a kid and you're exploring this creepy dark bunker with your friend and you two's cool older siblings #and you and dess got separated from the others but its fine. dess has her bat she can protect you two #and then suddenly you turn your back for a second and the bat falls to the ground. and shes gone #and you never see her again. #and THEN YOUR DAD GETS FIRED FROM HIS JOB FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND HER AND IT CAUSES YOUR PARENTS TO GET FUCKING DIVORCED #AND YOU WERE RIGHT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING #(you couldnt have. you were a kid) #like CHRIST dawg no wonder kris is fucking depressed #and guilt from that definitely would fit in with the idea that maybe kris summoned us willingly to take control of their life #because they believe that they're ruining it. arugurhghh #god i just arhgahghrh I GOTTA KNOW I GOTTA KNOW MORE ABOUT KRIS' PAST AND WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE BUNKER AND DESS' DISAPPEARANCE AND. #AHGHRHGRUGHRGHRHGRHRHG #DELTARUNE. (HEAD IN HANDS) #serena.txt

[intertexts-moving]

eternally ill over wkx re: the loud silly pitchflirting pain in the ass all of the time / silent unspoken protection when it is like. something that genuinely bothers zzs dichotomy.

yes!!!!!!!!!!!! exactly this. aaaaa this guy. this dude. aaaaaa hhhhh

and. i dont know about you but it took me actually quite a while to notice this second side of him. ive been very focused on zzs (the guy made it so hard for me to understand his thought process hnngggggg it was a pain in the ass), many things that had to do with others went right over my head. its been a joy to discover so many moments of this, in which wkx expresses his thoughtfulness and compassion in this quiet sort of way. and it absolutely has me by the throat because! because! its the same thing zzs does, they are the same in this!!! and i didnt notice at first i only noticed zzs doing that it took me two reads! to understand! this! ughhgghghg

YEAH!!!!!!!!!! YEAH. GOD. for me i think it was like.. the second or third time he was described as like... quietly helping support him when he was exhausted or like.

^ this moment maybe when it clicked. like. Oh. okay. okay he is loud and obnoxious about everything except things that matter he will draw attention to Everything except his thoughtfulness or compassion. he is, in fact, aware of when it's okay to be a bitch and when it's time to not be. it... actually is genuine. & YEAH... ZZS BEING THE EXACT SAME WAY.like it definitely ties into how they have functionally similar pasts in which genuine kindness was exploitable and unnecessary but. ohh my god. yet another way in which they don't. have to explicitly Communicate™️ because the gesture of support or honesty is transparent enough in itself..

#also thats funny bc.. zzs is like. hes so transparent to me. i look at what hes doin & i go okay loser. i see what youre up to. #but. yeah. god i am excited 2 reread tyk after i finish it & recontextualize everything in my head. #like. their second meeting where zzs is shaking almost ready to collapse pretending to look in control but trying 2 find something he can #lean on & wkx comes outta nowhere & puts his arms around him to keep him up. & its like 'fortunately this person just wanted to help! #god.. #also. points. new mutual! mutuals get their own tags!! >:3 #is siren tag! ok or is there something else u would prefer! :0 #tyk

[wokebutsleepy]

Sends this pic to my barber with just the word "Help"

#its getting ridiculous #the poof is outta control #im in desperate need 😫😩 #selfiesteam #butch looks

[sheskindaperfecttryhardboys]

stop interacting with my young turks abortion post im trying to obsess over eddie from stranger things & my notivs r fuller than my emails spam folder /lh /hj

#like okay okay im trying 2 simp over eddie & i KINDA ge outta the mood when i hear abt my lack of rights again okay 💔 #also this page isn't safe for ppl who r glad abt the roe v wade situation u can b anti abortion & still not control others bodies huns #dont get me wrong im glad the info is reaching ppl that was the whole post of the post #its just hard when km trying 2 react to my normal like post abt fandom shit & its SWALLOWed by a bunch of ppl either being like PREACH SIS #or DIE BABY KILLER!!

[bunieboo]

love how my brain won’t stop until it sees me as the crazy one when he literally treated me like shit for shits n giggles til I finally broke and told him to kill himself likeeeeeeeee i have to dissect this feeling of needing to take the blame of other people’s motions and think it’s my fault. It’s always you’re too naive, too sensitive, too giving it’s always that and the need to be liked by ppl who wouldn’t care if I died. Shoutout the smiths. But I have to assume it deals with childhood trauma, having to take blame of things I didn’t do, always having to put up a front for piers and if I didn’t it’s humiliation…like I get it but after you realize all these things how do you get out of it..I’ve accepted and now its on repeat step by step and it starts with that poor excuse of a man

#like half of my brain is like Aaliyah ur not fit for this type of dating ppl get treated like this all the time and they’re fine bc they #have another person on the way but I don’t I can’t stand the sight of talking to another when I’ve given so much joy to someone who laughed #at it…its reckoning and it’s not like i won’t love again I will I barely liked that guy it’s just I’m so tired of feelin like shit over #things I can’t and can control..I gotta keep repeating he goes to hell until I believe it. #and yes I know I’m being dramatic but this is the hell I’ve experienced everyday day since JANUARY….this constant back and forth I want it #to end so so bad I don’t even want him I just want to slap the fuck outta of him and I will never get that and it’s driving me mad