#its not my fault some of them have extremely fitting lyrics..... leave me alone...... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youremypeople · 3 years

Text

Cordelia

(picrew by @lullindo)

“We become by ceasing to be”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Album: Wildlife — La Dispute

(references throughout, denoted by 🍄)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Major Arcana: Death

(art by Leonardo Mazzoli)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Messy dark auburn hair that is roughly cut to medium length, worn loose

Sullen hazel-green eyes

Freckled tan skin

No piercings or tattoos yet

Has a worn switchblade-style dagger kept in a pocket on her right hip

Has a druidic totem made from a crow’s skull with a cracked hole in the top, worn around her neck

Wears a leather backpack and a leather bracelet

Wears a simple earth tone outfit of dark green pants, beige shirt, and leather jacket — barefoot

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Race: Halfling

Gender: Vaguely nonbinary (AFAB)

Pronouns: Any (typically she/her by default)

Sexuality: Lesbian

Age: Twenty-two

Height: Three feet

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

:: The Circle ::

An extremely reclusive halfling druid circle that centers above and around a single ancient fungus that spreads throughout a great canopy forest. The main body of the organism — the mycelium — grows and spreads underground at root depth, just out of sight. Every autumn, it blooms bioluminescent mushrooms on the surface, and its glowing spores are spread on the wind.

Their ideology and practices are based on fungal life. There is beauty in decay. Life and death are parts of a cycle, with one leading to the other and then back again. Death isn’t the end of life, but instead a change of state that sees life shift into a new form. To best emulate this ideal, their way of life is imitative of the creeping pace and aimless entropy of fungal life.

Their way of life is extremely isolated — not just from the outside world, but from each other. Each individual is to live their life like a spore floating on the wind, like an appendage of the whole. Children have no special relationship to their biological parents, often not even knowing who their parents are. Once babies have been weaned, they are raised by other members of the circle.

Fungal psychedelics are an important part of the circle’s connection to the land. A rite of passage for a young druid is for them to eat a particular mushroom alone in the forest at dusk on the first night of the autumn blooming of their thirteenth year.

Members are raised to live alone, wandering and tending to the forest of the fungus. When members’ paths meet — usually by happenstance — they silently exchange simple information about any unusual happenings or needs of the land, and then go on their way. Outsiders are watched silently, and not interacted with unless they pose a threat to the land.

Individualism and sentimental attachments are forbidden, as death is not to be mourned. The only importance is that the cycle continues.

:: Backstory & Relationships ::

Cordelia tried her best to live according to the way of the circle, but always struggled with it. From an early age, she secretly kept journals that she filled with sketches, lyrics, thoughts, and dreams.

🍄 One: a Departure

i used to never think of death… i used to feel like everything was perfectly in order, a normal life, but i guess then came a departure.

🍄 Two: Harder Harmonies

there's a melody in everything

i'm trying to find a harmony

but nothing seems to work

nothing seems to fit

🍄 Five: a Letter

i've always struggled at the root of the problem. has it been absence or my constant lack of defense? i've never spent a lot on finding a remedy. i guess i figured that it hurt for a reason. i guess that's why i've always turned to writing it down.

🍄 Thirteen: all our bruised bodies and the whole heart shrinks

do you think if the heart keeps on shrinking, one day there will be no heart at all? and how long does it take? am i better off just bursting or breaking? because i don't see my heart getting strong.

Father Figure — “Jones”

A stoic middle-aged man of few words, Jones followed the circle’s tenets almost completely. He raised Cordelia and taught her most of what she knows of druidism and life in general. His one personal indulgence outside of the code was the lute, a very undruidic instrument. He kept it secret from everyone except — eventually — Cordelia, and secretly taught her to play.

The winter when Cordelia was fifteen, Jones was killed by outsiders. Cordelia finds his body, and then — unable to emotionally process the loss — tracks down and murders his killers with his dagger. Feeling no better, she returns to Jones’ hut. She takes his lute, and hides it away for herself, not to play it again for years.

The pain of Jones’ death continues to stick with Cordelia, contributing to her doubt and resentment of some of the circle’s tenets.

🍄 Five: a Letter

sometimes things happen and you can't do anything. plus, i'm the only one who deals with it anyway.

i know that i should be finding another way. i know that i should be seeking a substitute. but just forgetting never really made sense to me. so i haven't been.

do i feel embarrassed about it? i think you know the answer to that. i think you'd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me, wouldn't you?

i know i should've moved on ages ago, been happy already, but it's never been that easy for me. or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

maybe i never tried hard enough, and it is my fault.

First Lover — “Dianthi”

Cordelia had met Dianthi — another member of the circle — a handful of times in their childhood. Dianthi is a skilled tanner and leathercrafter about Cordelia's age.

When Cordelia was hiding her feelings of mourning for Jones, Dianthi was one of the few who noticed how much it hurt, and she felt for her, but kept her distance.

Slowly, Cordelia and Dianthi started to become interested in each other. The two girls secretly went out of their way to encounter each other more often, but wouldn’t admit to themselves what their feelings were.

The summer when Cordelia was nineteen, they began to secretly spend time together, gradually becoming emotionally and romantically close over the course of two years.

🍄 Seven: The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit

it's like medicine, it's self-discovery. all the secrets i keep, why are they secrets? it's only temporary, that fleeting feeling of warmth, just a flash before the line gets blurry between a longing for more than what the body wants now and what the body wants now more than anything.

was it integrity that kept my hands to myself or just the thought of getting too far ahead of you? was it that i got too tired of the consequence? or was i just scared? i only know i never wanted to get left behind.

i want to feel it out. i want to know how it works. i want to know if it was worth it to worry — about the ghosts i feared would haunt the memory, about the damage that i'm sure the fear has done to me now.

After struggling with it for a long time, Cordelia asks Dianthi a question which has been eating away at her:

Cordelia shared parts of her journals and played the lute and sang for Dianthi. Dianthi crafted gifts for Cordelia: a backpack, a bracelet, a jacket, a waterskin.

C: “Dianthi… Would– would you care if I died?” (Defying core tenets of circle ideology)

D: “…W–what? Why ask that?” (In truth, Dianthi would care, but she’s too ashamed and unprepared to realize or admit it)

C: “…Would you?”

When Dianthi fails to answer, Cordelia isolates herself from Dianthi.

Soon after, Cordelia exiles herself from the circle, taking her few belongings with her, except for Jones’ lute, which is left to decay in the forest.

🍄 Six: Safer in the Forest / Love Song for Poor Michigan

last snowfall left splinters, and some winters never end, neither wane nor wear. and sunshine is like lovers, and some summers just pretend, only warm the air.

i'm tired of the feeling here, it's too near to death.

i've been thinking of exile. i've been thinking hit the highway and head up north. i've been thinking cross the bridge and don't turn back. the only warmth is a warmth alone.

i need to leave. i can't marry this place. i won't bury the past, i just need a change of scenery. i will hold these old trees sweetly in my head

Like Her.

🍄 Fourteen: You and I in Unison

what will i find? some sacred thing to help me handle the tragedy? or did i once– did i have it and lose it?

no one should ever have to walk through the fire alone. no one should ever have to brave that storm. no, everybody needs someone or something.

#my new d&d character!#cordelia #halfling #druid #circle of spores

8 notes · View notes

billxharry · 6 years

Text

In which I write the majority of Mamma Mia! 3

@nilo2207 had sent a wonderful question about unused Abba songs that made me think of Bill and Harry, and mentioned liking to re-imagine them singing previous songs that didn’t belong to their characters, which I also love to do. I love this question, because I have actually given this some thought before (*way* more than I should have, admittedly, as you’ll see) and because I can’t just associate the songs with them, I have to imagine them being relevant to a plot with them singing them, so because of that I have *large* parts of the third movie all planned out in my little mind. Someone hire me immediately. 🤣

I will put a song list here, and if you’d like, under the read more cut, I will painstakingly explain the context I imagine them in.

(Firstly, apologies to Colin and Stellan, the second movie didn’t give them anything to really sing, so in my lovely imaginary movie, I do the exact opposite.😁 They get more songs than they would ever want.)

Songs we haven’t seen (technically, I am aware two appear on the soundtrack of the second movie, but were cut from the film, so if the scenes are released, I suppose those will get moved to songs I would like re-imagined.)

I Wonder (Departure)- Harry

Head Over Heels- Bill (this song would be reworked pronoun wise and a few lyric adjustments to fit with Bill)

I Know Him So Well (it’s technically from Chess but it can count, right?) Harry and Rosie

The Day Before You Came- Harry (and a new verse at the end written for Bill)

Dance (While the Music Still Goes On)- Bill and Rosie

The Way That Old Friends Do- Bill, Harry, Sam, Tanya, Rosie and Donna (in spirit, the same vein the second movie used her)

As for the songs I like to imagine Harry and Bill signing that went to other characters, I’ve fit them into my narrative, as a medley of sorts, calling back to the first movie-

Take A Chance On Me- Bill

Honey, Honey- Harry (one of my biggest needs is Harry singing this song about Bill, okay.)

Mamma Mia!- Bill,Harry,Sam,Tanya,Rosie and Donna

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do-Bill,Harry,Sam,Tanya,Rosie and Donna

Waterloo- Bill and Harry, Rosie and Tanya

When All is Said And Done- Bill,Harry,Sam,Tanya,Rosie and Donna

Dancing Queen- The entire cast

Songs that aren’t theirs, that I like to imagine them singing that I didn’t fit it to my narrative- Um, almost every song because everything revolves around Bill and Harry at this point in my mind😆

The original version of I’ve Been Waiting For You (I still really want this one, but the second movie made the reworked version so personal for Donna and Sophie that I can’t actually use it in my never to exist movie. )

The Winner Takes It All if I am feeling particularly angsty

I think that’s the songs, now on to plot. This post is already so long, this read more is going to make it ridiculous. Feel free to skip this. It’s literally fanfiction written in synopsis form? It’s odd.

Sophie needs help running the hotel. It’s become a stellar success after the re-opening, and new offers have come her and Sky’s way. She is finally at a place of peace with the hotel, knowing Donna would be proud, and is ready to take on new opportunities of her own, but with her having Donnie (I am not sure which way they spell it, Donnie or Donny?)she struggles to travel, take on new endeavors, run the hotel and raise a family. She asks Sam for a little extra help at the hotel, and when Sam mentions it, of course Bill and Harry vow to join him.(Dad hi-jinks with the three of them abound, of course, but I also like to think there’d be some depth to this plot, too.)

Yes, it’s your basic cheesy plot, but its Mamma Mia!, okay. I feel that’s acceptable. In this horrendously thought out summary, I will focus mainly on Bill and Harry’s plots, since this blog is focused on them and that’s what the question was in regaurds too. And let’s be honest, I’ve given them the majority of thought.

To actually get on to answering the questions, re: songs, if you’re still with me...

Harry has yet again gone back to his hum drum business world, but as we have seen in the first movie, and even more so in the second, he’s feeling more and more disconnected from that world, and as he ponders going to the island to help with the hotel, which he originally only planned to do for a week or so, he thinks of Sophie, and Donnie (Donny?) and Sam, and an extra emphasis on Bill (and here we’re clued in that Bill and Harry have indeed been together numerous times through out the years, but they’ve never broken up, because they’ve never officially been together) and after giving everything serious thought, Harry decides he doesn’t plan on coming back to London, to his lifestyle, for a good while this time, he wants to be where his family is. This is his spontaneous adventure. He is of course apprehensive, it’s Harry, but he decides it’s a risk worth taking, and he sings I Wonder (Departure) as he prepares to leave.

When we see Bill, also preparing to go to the island, we see he is in the opposite mind set of Harry. He’s not looking at this trip as a risk or an adventure, but rather the opposite, a chance to actually be grounded for a time. We discover he and Rosie have broken up yet again, but this time without Bill being at fault. He has no regrets about how their relationship went this time around, and thinks they can still be great friends. However, he sings a re-imagined version of Head Over Heels, subtly voicing his growing weariness of his lifestyle, and how he’s treated Harry. (His man is one I admire, He's so courageous, but he's constantly tired. Each time that he speaks his mind, He pats his head and says that's all very fine, Exert that will of your own, When we're alone, Now we better hurry. And with no trace of hesitation he keeps going.) Bill vows he will stay at the island longer than the week he had planned.

(Rosie and Tanya will certainly factor into this story too, of course. Sophie and Sky who are in New York, meet Tanya at Rosie’s launch of her new cook book, and after hearing some of the things Sophie had left in charge of the men (deciding how to a crucial suite would be remodeled, being in charge of food for a very prestigious event, the design plan of a new expansion, etc.) Tanya and Rosie decide it’s crucial to join them. Sophie argues in her dads’ favour, “But Harry has great taste.” “Bill is extremely knowledgeable when it comes to food!” “Sam literally designed the hotel in the first place!” But ultimately she realizes that Tanya and Rosie just want to be included, the hotel means a lot to everyone, and Rosie is obviously tired from the book tour, and Tanya occasionally shows the occasional crack in her usual demeanor. Sophie concludes that it would be best if they joined them, knowing they could all use the some of the magical atmosphere the island seems to offer.)

Things, despite getting off to a bumpy and highly amusing start, are actually going pretty well now for the Dads. There’s plenty of moments that showcase that instant friendship the three of them had, as they work through the mishaps, it’s obvious to see, especially in Bill and Harry, the contrasting and yet somehow complimentary way they work together. Harry’s particular ways of solving problems come into play during this time, much to everyone’s confounded amusement. After a particularly good day of being together, Bill decides to confide in Sam, who has somewhat of an idea as to what’s going on, that he wants to give a relationship with Harry a serious go.

As it happens, Harry of course overhears a part of the conversation, but misunderstands, as Harry and Bill so often do, knowing each other so well but somehow being so wrong, he falsely assumes Bill is certainly talking about the newly arrived Rosie. Rosie, who initially did think her and Bill would reunite, also manages to hear parts of the conversation, and concludes Bill is talking about someone else, and Harry and Rosie sing I Know Him So Well about Bill.

When Bill later tries to talk to Harry, he is uncharacteristically nervous, and is having a hard time saying everything he wants to say. Harry further misinterprets it to be about Rosie, and hurt, he confesses how much Bill means to him by singing The Day Before You Came, which Bill sings his own verse of to explain Harry had changed his life too, but Harry doesn’t hear it, as he’s already walked away.

Bill, who is now certain this is what he wants, berates himself for being a coward, when he and Harry had obviously wanted the same things. Now more determined and excited than ever to embark on this brand new adventure, he asks to talk to Rosie to clear the air once and for all. She confronts him about being in love with someone else, and when he confesses, she surprises him by asking if it’s Harry. He admits it is, and she admits she’s always thought there was something between them. Bill never opened up to her as easily and quickly as he had Harry, and never looked at her, or any of the girls she had seen Bill with, quite the same way as he had Harry.

He apologizes to Rosie for never being able to give her the life that she deserved, and she she admits she thinks she forced their relationship on Bill. They sing Dance (While the Music Still Goes On), and after they dance, Rosie chides him, Bill Anderson, of being afraid of anything, let alone Harry Bright of all people. Bill remarks he sees something in Tanya and Rosie that’s perhaps similar to Harry and himself. Rosie agrees that Tanya would be preferable to carbs and they laugh, this time parting amicably, as good friends with a kiss on the cheek.

As well as things have been going at the hotel, things suddenly seem to crash all at once, causing strain on all of the relationships. Bill is upset as Harry is now avoiding him, and as he snaps at Sam over something completely unrelated, somewhere in evolves into an argument with Bill stating Sam wasted most of his lifetime with Donna, something that Sam still struggles with. Tanya, who also knows about Bill and Harry (she told Harry she had seen the sexual chemistry from the beginning, and Harry, feeling she was a close friend, hadn’t felt the need to lie to her) makes a comment to Harry along the lines about there being other lays in the sea for him, and Harry chastises her about there being more to life than sex, especially at their age, something Tanya has secretly been acknowledging herself. Upset, she turns to Rosie and criticizes her for wanting to get back with Bill, not knowing they had broken up for good. The fights come to a head when Harry, once again having awful timing, had witnessed Bill kiss Rosie’s cheek, affirming everything he had thought to be true, at least in his mind, and his frustration at never being a factor in Bill’s life culminates in a huge disagreement between the two, despite Bill trying to tell him otherwise.

The usual magical feel of the island suddenly feels void, it feels no different than the reality all of them had been coming to Kalokairi to escape. Sophie and family return to find low spirits and everyone, despite their promises, planning to leave. Sophie pleads for them to reconsider, reminding them that they had all come to the island for something, and they needed to remember what it was. She leaves with the parting words that the magic never was the island itself, it was all of them finding each other and forming the family that they had. Her mom had brought all of them together, and she didn’t want to have that change just because Donna was no longer there to hold them together.

As they sit and look at one another across the room, they know that Sophie is right. Together they sing The Way That Old Friends Do. During the song Bill and Harry entwine their fingers, Rosie lays her head on Tanya’s shoulder, and Sam sings to the spirit of Donna.

As the song ends, and they all share quiet smiles, Rosie catches Bill’s eye and nods, encouraging him to go on. Bill takes a breath and begins to sing Take A Chance On Me. Despite reluctance at the very beginning from Harry, Bill can see the smile forming and Bill’s confidence grows as he continues to sing, knowing Harry is about to let loose. As as Bill sings, Harry transitions to taking over singing Honey, Honey with gusto, with Rosie and Tanya (and even Sam) joyfully jumping in as his back up girls. The group transitions to Mamma Mia!, the previous feel good feeling back in full force. Bill takes the transition again, changing the tune to I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, with their friends encouraging Harry to say yes to Bill’s proposal. Harry doesn’t need any encouragement at all, he is just trying to get his I do! in but the chorus and Bill keep interrupting him. He eventually grabs Bill and silences him with a very telling kiss, which leads to the transition of Waterloo, as they’ve finally surrendered to their fears and couldn’t be happier. As the joyous notes end, we get a final, touching moment of the beloved group singing the reprise of When All Is Said and Done, the song mimicking where all of the characters now stand. Sam sings to and with the spirit of Donna, who may be gone but the love, and the family, she gave to Sam remains strong, despite their short time of getting to be together and he doesn’t regret any of it. Rosie is no longer in a hurry to force a relationship, and she smiles at Tanya, knowing her best relationship will always be the one with her. Tanya, slightly worn but always dignified, acknowledges she can have her rousing lifestyle but have actual love as well. (And of course she is not too old for sex. She gets a whoop from Rosie, a suggestive eyebrow movement from Bill directed at Harry, and a bright blush and chuckle of acknowledgement from Harry.) Harry, ever the anxious man, is for once calm, and Bill, ever the man on the move, has no desire to run.

The end comes with the entire cast singing an encore of Dancing Queen, as it’s being danced to at Bill and Harry’s wedding, and a comment about how they are going to need to change the lyric of “only seventeen” to “only seventy” if they plan to continue singing that song is uttered.

91 notes · View notes

just-sort-of-happened · 7 years

Text

The Final Problem: Fear of The Devil, Your Feelings

Yesterday I was saying that maybe this episode is like a horror version of Sherlock in that it’s meant to be a nightmare for fans, it’s the anti-episode, it’s everything it shouldn’t be and we’re supposed to notice. Today @marta-bee was talking about Uncle Rudy possibly being a reference to an anti-portrait.

This whole series has made a steady stream of references to the devil. Notably in TST John and Mary discuss twice and through a mirror the difference between the devil and its spawn. They also discuss movies The Omen and The Exorcist.

Anyway, there’s a funny little moment when John, Sherlock and Mycroft are discussing what to do about their uhm bomb problem when we cut to Mrs Hudson, vacuuming to, ‘the number of the beast’, by Iron Maiden,

Now... Sure this is a funny little moment. We already saw that she is a badass in TLD so this fits: she does unexpectedly cool things, right? Except. Except this is a very unusual song choice for Mrs Hudson.

Now, technically Mrs Hudson can be into any song she wants to but. The Number of the Beast came out in 1982 when she was 45. (We open the show with a reference to 1982 and arguably this is around the time when Sherlock’s childhood flashbacks are occurring in TFP). Now maybe she was a 45 year old metal head back then but there’s something odd about this song choice. That’s why we laugh, it’s strange and we didn’t know she liked this type of music so we are amused.

But, what was even the point of blowing up Baker Street? To up the stakes, to start the game, to be the maguffin that gets it all going, sure, but also, maybe, to throw in this weird reference. TST featured Margaret Thatcher, aka The Iron Lady, as someone who could provide some clues to Sherlock about Mary. Villain-coded and devil-coded Mary.

“At one point in TST Sherlock is stopped in front of a shrine of pictures of a very bad woman: Thatcher. He feels something is off but he’s not sure what. He has extreme foreboding here, the camera work, the lighting, the way the other people disappear. This shrine of Thatcher is about Mary. Mary is a very bad woman about whom he has a very bad feeling. And something is missing from the shrine: the bust containing the AGRA flash drive. So, Sherlock’s instincts tell him Mary is terrible and that he’s missing a piece of information about her: her secret agent past.”

(italics added later) from this post.

Now, if you thought that the Moriarty element in TFP was silly well, it was. We saw a flashback and then, apparently, Eures had gotten him to film a series of uhm video clips for her to taunt Sherlock with 5 years later? Okay. The thing is Moriarty has been coded as satan I think since their conversation at Baker Street after the court case in TRF. He has an apple, he owes him a fall, this is symbolism about Sherlock being like Eve and eating the apple of the tree of knowledge and being ejected from Eden. In TAB Sherlock explicitly states that he’s waiting for the devil when he’s awaiting for Moriarty. But, no, in fact, Mrs Hudson tells that to Lestrade about why Sherlock is just sitting in his flat for days on end.

Magnussen also has been called the devil in HLV by Sherlock. He tells John he made, ‘a deal with the devil’.

All of the villains of Sherlock are connected to water (see @thepineapplering‘s meta here.) Water is connected to, among other things, emotions via four elements symbolism.

We see Sherlock running from his emotions as early as TGG when he talks about not knowing the solar system. (He's ironically trying to actually talk about his feelings to John when the latter storms out. Ironically, he saves a child later on via his obscure astronomical knowledge). Well, no, we see this retroactively via ASiB when he seems to emotionally skewer the woman for having feelings, however slight. The solar system and sentiment are both things that others see as basic knowledge (”primary school stuff” associates it to early childhood, even) and that Sherlock has told himself he, ‘deleted’, because he has no use for them.

So Sherlock’s personal villains, his demons, his devils lurking beneath are emotions. That’s why all villains are associated to water.

In TFP Eures is literally on a island, she’s isolated and yet trapped by water, surrounded by water. Isolated and surrounded by feelings, trapped by feelings.

Now, let’s look at the lyrics to Iron Maiden’s, ‘the number of the beast’,

“Left alone, my mind was blank. I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind.

What did I see, can I believe, That what I saw that night was real And not just fantasy.

Just what I saw, in my old dreams, Were they reflections of my warped mind Staring back at me.

Cause in my dreams, it's always there, The evil face that twists my mind and brings Me to despair.

Six-six-six the number of the beast. Hell and fire was spawned to be released.

Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised, As they start to cry, hands held to the sky. In the night, the fires burning bright, The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done.

Six-six-six the number of the beast. Sacrifice is going on tonight.

I'm coming back, I will return, And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn. I have the fire, I have the force.”

So, here we can see that this song that Mrs Hudson so innocently and hilariously is listing to is about a man’s visions and nightmares. From his own deepest fears, from his own psyche. He questions what he sees, what he sees is the face of the devil and the mark 666.

We’ve seen that TFP doesn’t make a lot of sense plot-wise and that everyone seems out of character. I mean The EMP warriors have been hammering out meta about this series being fake from day one, so I got nothing special to add to the idea that, ‘it was all a dream’, or, ‘it was all in his head’. But I do want to say that the devil imagery, the references to the devil, to a nightmare of the devil, that’s of your own making, to water/villians/emotions, all of this does go back to the idea that we’re in Sherlock’s psyche.

There is no sister but rather this is Sherlock’s most isolated essence. An essence that is lonely and wants to have a friend. But also one who’s, ‘killed’, said friends before. Meaning he’s both evil Eures and vulnerable, sad Eures. He’s a contradiction. He wants to get close to people and he wants to also bury his feelings in a well. He’s specifically afraid to get as close to John as he wants to be. But, he’s now even more afraid that if he pushes him away he will drive him away like he has already done in the past.

This is his emotional turning point, this is why the theme of, ‘emotional context’, is brought up again and again by Eures in seemingly disjointed ways. If you don’t face your fears, and face your emotions The Three Garridebs will die. The romance will die if you don’t dare face it. The friend in the well cannot wait forever. You can push your feelings down but eventually they will die. That person will stop loving you.. Your chance to love like John so adamantly insists at the end of TLD maybe be gone before you realise it.

Sherlock loved someone before and then he buried that. (I think that’s Sebastian from TBB). Now he sees himself doing the same thing to John. He needs to rescue his feelings for John from the well. The well of his own fear and indifference. The well full of feelings. His horror is emotions. This is his nightmare where nothing is more frightening than emotions.

Now Eures is a woman. Sherlock’s deepest emotional aspect is a woman. Now my friends cringed after TAB when I said that the women in that episode represented Sherlock’s feelings but I really do think that’s one of the meanings of TAB. Sherlock has always feared his emotions and preferred logic, the mind. The mind, the logical side, etc, has always been associated to the male aspect and to the east. Feelings, intuition, water, circles, has always been associated to women and to the west. Now, we have this contrast because Eures is, ‘the East Wind’, associated to being super intelligent, rational to a fault, to the point of being a full-on psycopath. But, but, there’s also little-girl-lost Eures who will be magically cured by a single hug from Sherlock (see the hug from TLD). His deepest self, his feelings, are armoured by this extreme reason, a cold calculating machine, a high-fucitininng sociopath. But, under some very fragile walls lies a very lonely vulnerable, deeply emotional child. (Remember his realising that the room he is trapped in his fake? Those are the flimsy walls of his cold exterior, inside is a weeping child who doesn’t know how to be integrate their strong feelings of love and fear). Remember how little Eures appears at Baker Street and implies she can’t differenciate beween her emotions after cutting herself? This is meant to show us that she’s disturbed and like inhumanly cold, right? Except that she’s not cutting up an animal (or other behaviours associated to childhood psychopathy) she’s hurting herself and trying to understand her many feelings. She is confused by them but not lacking them.

Sherlock is Eures: lonely and trapped by her emotions and yet she can leave at any time. Sherlock can be free at any time. (Remember, ‘I want to break free’, by Queen playing as Moriarty got out of the helicopter and made a sexual joke?) Moriarty represents Sherlock’s sex drive (remember he says he’s Mr Sex in TRF and is Sherlock’s id, in chains, in the basement, in HLV). His sex drive/Moriarty wants to a) break free and b) visit Eures island of emotional isolation. He needs to integrate his sexual and his emotional feelings, that’s why Moriarty and Eures must meet. At Christmas. A time when Sherlock and John try to talk about their emotions, year after year, it seems.

During 5 minutes at Christmas Sherlock’s sexual attraction and his feelings met for the first and only time, maybe. Maybe it’s in ASiB? Maybe it’s in HLV? We can speculate as to which 5 minutes were most poignant and why but I think we can see that every once in a while, maybe on a special occasion like Christmas or a birthday (TLD hug) we can have a break through where emotion and attraction meet and you know, break free.

PS we saw a sort of villainous version of John in TLD via Culverton (with tons of deeply sexual overtones) from @warmth-and-constancy. And then we see John go into the balcony at Sherrinford and just plain old look at the water. We see him in relation to water just as we first see Culverton. John, again, is being subtly coded as a villain. But, why? Because John is the person that Sherlock’s in love with. He is the villain because he is making Sherlock face his deepest fear. Sherlock is literally horrified of being in love, hence John and the water imagery.

Eures literally is Samara Morgan from the Ring and from Appointment with Samarra. Sherlock must inevitably face her, his inner fears, his deepest demons. And Samara from the Ring becomes a supernatural monster because she was abused, neglected, left alone. She died in a well. This is Sherlock’s monstrous side (remember, ‘he’s our monster’, from TLD?). A little child who just needed love but instead was isolated and alone. This is Sherlock. Literally being Samara and having an appointment with himself. (Here I was talking about Appointment with Samarra vs Samara Morgan but with John as the little girl)

When he said he needed to go, ‘deeper into himself’, in TAB, well, he wasn’t kidding.

Oh, one more thing, the reason that Mrs Hudson’s song struck me was because that scene is followed by one where a guy says he doesn’t know where Sherlock is and then we see those two fisherman on a boat. The camera angle is very low and instead of cutting back and forth we get a (seemingly) continuous shot. The effect is nauseating and discombobulating (suggestive of being a dream). We also see this odd object on the wall that looks like a simplified devil logo: a face and horns,

But also I just realised it’s also a circle. And a mirror. So this is Sherlock’s greatest fear, greatest horror: feelings and introspection with regards to said feelings. That’s the true devil, here, the true villain.

#sherlock meta #nothing's gonna change my world #TFP meta #the devil #nightmare #EMP #Mrs Hudson #Moriarty #Eures #sentiment #water #oh fuck #everything #the ring #tw the ring

443 notes · View notes