#its sunday night for me now so

[idontwikeit]

vampterview rewatch

1.01 "In Throes of Increasing Wonder..."

#iwtvedit #vampterview #tv: interview with the vampire #flashing tw #vampterview rewatch #vcreations #vigifs #its sunday night for me now so #never really know how to make episode gifset bc i dont know which scenes to choose #think im gonna try a different size for next set i love too many scenes #scheduled

[butchcharliee]

.

#so i work part time and only been working for about 4 months now #but ive been trying to get sundays permanently off #but my scheduling manager tells me i can't get a weekend off bc im part time and veen working for 4 months #is this okay? #i literally have no control over my scheduling and there's nothing i czn do about it #she said if i have to get one of the weekend days off #i can only request it off but i cant request those days off permanently #my scheduling makes me so anxious bc it's all over the place #i also work nights which makes me anxious but again i have no control over my schedule #i cant even make one tiny decision over it #is this okay? :( #its my first job so idk #i just want sundays off 😭

[b4kuch1n]

I put the october pieces on my redbubble as prints because I think they’re preddy good. happy august are you gonna eat that

#bakuspecial #pokemon #swsh #hi. I am painting my bag #and the sealant turns out to be poison #so its taking! a minute! I'm trying to put as much down in one layer as possible before sealant #because boy oh boy. that sealant is bad. and I also only have one can of it #so yeah. the bg for the thing I wanna do is done I think. I just gotta finish up the (waves hand) the other stuff. yknow the main thing #so! thats my sunday plan. and then hopefully I can finish that up in one go and then seal it in for the last time #and I will not have to breath whatever that is in again. Im suited up btw. I dont have a filtration mask but Im triple med masked up #whenever I use it. and I also wear a long sleeved hoodie jacket #messing around with acrylic and gouache is so fun if not for the consequences #well. thats enough of that. hey if u want a print of these pieces get urself a halloween treat. #my halloween treat this year is hopefully I can hang out with my friends and play funny horror games. itll be so fun #or we all play scrabbles together again and I get my ass handed to me #I know english words sometimes but I am SO bad at counting. I am GARBAGE at understanding the rules of scrabbles. #its so fun to lose at scrabbles tho... I enjoy it :] #I need to sleep now. but I had naan with chicken pumpkin stew today. it was really good. today was great #have a good night guys! hold ur friends hand while walking in the wood okay?

[frecklystars]

i think starscream would pick you every time. you were both abused. hes not going to do what she wants. he would hate her for how she treated you, honestly. in fact i think he misses making you feel special, but he understands why youre going through it. he misses and loves you more than life. he'll always choose you. hed see himself in you.

You sent me this last night when I was crying my eyes out, I hope you don't mind I wanted to keep it in my inbox a while longer because it soothed me so much. I have had the firm and genuine belief in my soul that Starscream would want to hurt me and betray me, for so many months now. Hearing someone else tell me that he wouldn't hurt me, he'd love me... it just means so much. I haven't heard people say that in almost 9 months. This is partially why I wanted to come back to tumblr, because I have only heard someone putting me down and making me feel horrible about myself for almost a year, I was hoping there'd still be some kind souls out there such as yourself who would try to tell me I'm still worthy of his love. I want to feel loved by him again so, so badly. I want to be worthy of him. I love him more than anything in the world and I miss self shipping. And I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you took the time out of your night (or day... timezones) to write this out and send it to me. Thank you.

That last part really resonated with me, that he'd see himself in me... I remember when I broke up with someone who heavily mistreated me about 4 years ago. I was such a mess. A year after the breakup, I met Starscream, and seeing him get abused on screen so blatantly, it made me think "oh my god, there I am". Seeing him angry for his abuse, it made me feel so fucking validated. It was my first and only time seeing a character who was abused actually get to express their anger. I gravitated toward that and he helped me heal from that experience, it's why I made my Saving Starlight AU. Now my anger for my abuser from 4 years ago, almost all of that anger has completely vanished, and I owe it to Starscream to holding my hand and guiding me through that pain. But now, I've been through this abuse all over again from someone who I really trusted, and... now I am so scared to go to Starscream for comfort, because I've been conditioned to believe that he wouldn't comfort me. My perception of my own comfort characters have been warped into ugly demonic nightmares of how much they want to hurt me. My own self ships feel like such a joke to me. Starscream would comfort me from this very thing, of all things he'd understand, it'd be this. and yet I can't bring myself to believe he would want to give me love and affection anymore, not when the person who betrayed me made me believe so wholeheartedly that I'm not worthy of it.

I really want to believe that he wouldn't hurt me just because someone else ordered him to. I never used to doubt his love for me, now i feel like that's the only thing I know how to do. I miss him so much and I know he's still in me somewhere, I know his love is still pure and unconditional for me, I just don't know how to feel it again. I don't know how to heal yet, everything hurts so bad so constantly. But it is very comforting to read your words, to know that he'd... understand how I'm feeling.

He was scared too. He was so scared in season 3 and the movie, he wasn't himself. He was... so unlike himself, to the point where I couldn't bear to watch it at all, I have always avoided s3 + the movie like the plague because seeing him in so much distress made me feel so sad. He was such a broken, fragile mess, just like me now. I'm not myself anymore either. I hate myself now, I never used to hate myself before. I feel so unworthy and like I can't be strong enough. Starscream felt this way too. For so long, I wanted to be there for him when he felt this way. Now I hope one day I can imagine him truly being here for me too. I really don't know what to do without him. It's so lonely and empty without him, I need him now more than ever. I just really hope and pray that when my ptsd feels less severe, when the triggers stop feeling as severe, my mind will make more room for joy and make more room for my TFP F/Os again.

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #anon you helped me so much last night. thank you so much #you were the only one who reached out. to my inbox like this at least #it was late on a sunday night at like 4am so i really didnt expect anyone to hear me #but you did and you took the time to type this and it brought me some comfort #i cant tell you how badly ive needed support for 9 months now ive been so alone #thank you for helping me feel heard and seen #i know its so silly because starscream is fictional #but i really really need him. i need my f/os. and being scared of them is such a horrible feeling #i want to overcome this and become stronger. for him!!! for my starlight #even if i lose everything else and if i can never love anyone else again #i just want starscream back

[laceyeb]

Sometimes I forget I'm a full grown adult and that it's not like 2011 and when I get a Facebook friend request from someone I may or may not be interested in and who I've always thought could possibly be interested in me and I see the request is sent at like 7:30 on a Sunday night and I wonder are you thinking about me at 7:30 on a Sunday night or am I over thinking this and what is the appropriate amount of time in the year 2024 to play it cool and pretend I didn't see a Facebook friend request before accepting it (I think it's probably irrelevant because who uses Facebook anymore) because I've lost my entire mind but I've just anxiously accepted it because Taylor and Travis are out here making me believe in true love again.

#its possible i need to learn how to journal or something because who needs to hear this #listen its just a lot okay #its fine im fine everything is fine #im not facebook friends with anyone at my work #literally not one person #so she didn't just see me commenting on someone elses post and think she should follow me #it was a random thing because she was thinking about me at 7:30 on a sunday night #were just manifesting ok because that man had a friendship bracelet and a dream and now look whats happened #i need someone aside from my mother to talk to about taylor and travis can you tell???

[bookworm-2692]

I gotta say the tags you left on that reblog on why you followed me are by far one of the best collections of tags I've ever gotten. but you've awakened my curiosity. What was the Twitch chat that started this? What did I say???? I'M SO CURIOUS BECAUSE BOY HOWDY I'VE SAID SOME INTERESTING THINGS-

I couldn't remember exactly, so I went back and searched Discord for images I sent and apparently it was just a super tame message.

The thing that made it significant, however, was the fact that I had never heard the Diggy Diggy Hole song before this year... despite having watched minecraft youtube videos since 2012. Somehow I missed that. A month or two ago I mentioned something from a different Impulse stream about diggy diggy and my friend @bibliobasilisk forced me to watch several iterations of the song (which I'm grateful for. It's a bop. As you would know).

So anyway I sent that screenshot to her like "hey look someone in chat said this" because i thought it was hilarious and then I was like "also I recognise their name from tumblr. unrelatedly". And then she was like "ah swedish tumblr, just looked them up" and then, being half swedish myself, I got hella excited:

And then I proceeded to scroll on your tumblr for like 20 minutes before unpausing the Impulse vod to continue watching. And I've been following you ever since then.

So a combination of me recognising your name, and my friend sussing out that you're Swedish (and the fact that diggy diggy is still relatively new to me) and bam. I'm here now.

Also in looking for that screenshot, it turns out that I screenshotted a second message of yours from a different stream:

Because Hermitgang my beloved

#hermitcraft #ask #anyway i can literally never watch impulse's streams live because theyre either 2am-5am or 3am-6am in my timezone (depending on daylight #on daylight savings time) but for sweden it'd instead be 6pm-9pm or 5pm-8pm i believe? if im converting correctly #which is like. prime stream watching time #end of the day. relaxing at home #so yeah i have to settle for just watching the vods later so youll never see me in chat #unless he's doing an afternoon stream which then is like regular morning for me #and only if its a non work day for me #also i dont even get the benefit of australian time for when the aussie streams. pearl starts her streams at 11pm which is far too late #ignore the fact that its almost 1am now #i mean it did help when i scrolled through your tumblr to discover your guys were also like impulse and co #and not some of the guys i care less about #anyway. yeah thats it #also those discord messages show it hasnt even been a month lmao #its been like 27 days #bc anzac day was the tuesday and today is monday so its one less day than four weeks #wait no its still sunday night. my computer tricked me into thinking it was monday #just bc its after midnight doesnt mean its monday. monday happens tomorrow aka i need to sleep first #also i just need to actually sleep anyway. on account of the 'its after midnight rn' thing #i was about to go to bed but then i saw your ask and knew i had to answer straight away #the anon who is talking about season 7: sorry you have to wait another day for your response #non anons take priority #which is a rule ive made up just now bc this is the first time ive had an anon and a non anon at the same time lmao

[kitkatcadillac]

was on such a roll creatively today and then got totally pissed off but its good its fine we are good i just ):<

you know how sometimes three completely separate things that could not have possibly had anything to do with each other happen at once and flare up your nerves like theyre dry straw soaked in gasoline.

#three people within one week completely disregarded me and my schedule/needs in a row #very frustrating. and the first one several times in a row and we are GOOD now we TALKED but jesus fucking christ. #im going to be up all night after already having a sleepless night so i am. cranky #i feel a little mean too because like fjdjfn #someone was Neck Deep in their misstep and tried explaining to me the situation and apologizing and like 😭 #i dont want an apology... we have talked about this i just would like. a small text message or something #because i have Never in my Life not done my laundry on sunday... #and never before 2pm #so why would you tell me you just thought i did it already before then??? man. #its a Repeat Problem and im neurodivergent do you understand my frustration in my Rhythms. #skelly speaks

[kangaracha]

💛🧡🤎

(for the ask game 🤗)

💛 Do you have any piercings?

no i personally am anti needles for no reason so it will not be happening to me

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

there's a very specific reason why it's yellow but currently it's yellow lmfao

🤎 What color is your hair?

it's blue babey though currently also this truly delightful sunbleached green because i truly haven't had time to fix it

#my boss the other day was like 'have you thought maybe it's time to redo the blue' #like sir you have me here from four in the morning until dusk #what kind of opening hours do you think hair salons have #am i supposed to go home and try not to fall asleep while the dye sits? what a delightful evening #and now it's sunday and i'm still working so like xD #'oh roo take an afternoon off' who is going to feed the nags cause i tell you now #the other girl will be there all night #anyway this isn't a rant xD #funny that hair came up twice in two days here #it's also relevant because today is a Big Day and i'm going on tv with my hair in possibly its ugliest colour stage #but it's okay #my horse is very well shampooed hopefully he'll blind the cameras

[elibeeline]

Im currently sleeping in rounds of either 10 or 4 hours, and i realise im asking a biased sample but how do i fix that

#friday i got 11 hours. saturday 4 #sunday 4 and last night was 12 #and my head hurts so bad today and im so full of cold and my shark week is fucking me up #before i was getting decent like 6-8 hours every single night!! i was all good!! #but ugh #yknow what im looking and. its been like this for three weeks now #like Cornwall holiday was like 7/8hours each night and the week after wasn't tracked properly #but the week fter that is like '11 hours. 5 hours. 8 hours. 4.5 hours. 9 hours.' like how do i get Consistency

[ventcode]

theyre upset with me as always. i shouldnt be so. sensitive.

#:( i dont like when theyre upset with me #''its 1:45 you need to get up'' #''empty out the trash like you were told to do last night'' #both of those are caused by my headache in which if i had even stood up i felt completely sick so sorry for not doing your shit #if i dont get up RIGHT NOW you'll be even more upset. whatever. #time to empty out the trash. was supposed to do it friday. im a failure with a forgetful mind. :( #who cares if i sleep in all day anyways. its a sunday. fuck off. #not like im busy or anything. i have no reason to be awake as of now. #fuck im crying. whatever its nothing. always nothing. #should just. not disturb anyone. my problems are nothing.

[bsaka7]

not 2 be a momentary sap on sideblog but.... u guys r so nice to me like genuinely when i started writing F1fic last july i was really just bored and lonely and writing to absolutely no one and now it's like... even on the most random pairings i write or the smallest little fics...the response and comments (especially recently) are beyond anything I could have imagined! I've never been part of a fandom community before and I really appreciate it!!!!!

#I need to be better at commenting myself!!! #And u guys put up with me even tho I'm like chronically online and Moody! #I've said b4 this is the longest I've been in one fandom (and also only the 2nd time I've even created anything) #so. Yea. That's cuz all of this. #I barely had mutuals before!!! much less ppl I actually message!! #anyway obv I will continue to write etc do my piece. And of course it will be random.... as my mind decrees... But hopefully still good! #Personally I also no longer hate everything I write which is also a symptom of writing a lot I think #Which is probably also why I write more now? Also cuz I just have a job and nothing else to do #I'm probably forgetting stuff but like. Whatever. #Also its MY Sunday night so I'm allowed to be weird

[bigxrig]

.

#my husband was in a weird mood on sunday and when i asked why he said it was because he is mad at my family #obvi I was like wut #but he explained they havent checked up on me very much if at all #but when they dont feel good or are sick or whatever i check in a lot and i organized covid care packages for them #and yeah he's right #my sister im with all the time texted me the other night #but that was it #havent heard a damn thing from my mom #talked to my dad on fathers day but mostly about him which was fine #nothing from my oldest sister #and maybe its because im still sending snapchats to them so they think im doing okay #idk i mean its fine but a little recognition would be nice #anyway i went to the bathroom now i feel like i could use a nap

[thesoundofsnowfallingfromeaves]

Sooo. I spent the weekend with my friend who had a cold last week where she also lost sense of smell and taste (which came back quickly though). She wasn't 100% healthy on the weekend but it had been like 10 days or so since she initially got ill and she tested negative for covid like 5 times I thought it would be fine. Today, I felt a bit of a sore throat when I woke and my head started feeling a bit not great throughout the morning, but I then went and got vaccinated for tick borne encephalitis, since I'll be spending a bunch of time in high risk areas for that this summer and the timing is already very narrow to get the 2nd shot in time so I really wanted to get it done. And now I feel like garbage and can't tell if that side effects from the vaccine (which match my symptoms) or the cold/potential covid from my friend (which also matches the symptoms lol). I swear to god though, if this is covid again I'm gonna kill my self like I Can Not go through this again. And especially not if its so stupidly my own fault lol.

#I decided earlier I'm not gonna get ill so lets see how it goes #I feel like absolute crap #I've been gargeling sage tea with honey for my throat and will take some flu medicine through the night to hopefully help me recover #like asap #i got a spa day planned with my friend saturday too and then great plans for sunday as well #so I cannot get sick right now #its just not an option

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me: itll b done monday. itll b done Monday. no more of this experiment after Monday. #my boss Saturday morning: we made some changes to the end of the experiment. u dont have to take measurements sunday and Monday. youll do #it Tuesday and Wednesday. #me: ...i cant even. if i have to fucking do that. why would u do this to me? why the fuck cant i just fucking do it sunday/Monday? #im not fucking doing that. im not. fuck off. why would u do this??? is it bc my birthday is Monday so u think ill b sad abt being in the #lab? bc im im fucking not in the lab and this fucking experiment is still going ill spend the day crying and unable to do fucking anything #bc i just kno ill have to come back on fucking Tuesday and do this again #is it bc u think the post processing will take too long so u wanna split between days? bc i will fucking sit there all fucking night #on Monday if it means i can fucking get this over with. ugh. great start to this fucking day. fantastic #ive already emailed back like: um hey some of these changes make sense bc um what the fuck??? it doesnt make sense to offset my #measurements? so what thr fuck???? but like more polite and hopefully less frantic sounding. god. i hope she doesn't have a valid reason #for this. i dont wanna fucking do that and i will fight back #email. me. back. my fucking stomach hurts abt this >:-[ also i didnt get a lot of sleep and came in at like 6.30am #bc i forgot to measure prewatering weights over the 2 weeks. oops. so im maybe not that steady #but i fucking hate this idea. and im not saying i refuse to do it. but i fucking refuse to do it #well see if i hold out. agh. birthday present to me. i get to be selfish and end this project early. and by selfish i mean i get to protect #my brain a tiny little bit. a teeny tiny bit. except my apartment is now so fucking cold ill probably end up in the lab anyway #bc everytimr thry turn on the air in my building its like so so so cold snd i dont have temp control and i wont complain #unrelated #i need my answer before 5.30 or my head will explode

[possum-tooth]

sleepy

#and my tummy hurts :( #ate too much dinner. and i miss my bf #life is just so hard for me </3 #literally its ONE (1) day. its annoying tho bc i get back late monday night and try to take a nap so i can see him for a minute before i #actually go to bed then wake up early tuesday. god i cant wait to be done w class #maybe then ill work [redacted] tues/thurs to make some extra money and keep my routine....... as much as i do not want to work there anymor #+ see my bf more. and also sleep in #idk much to think about but not right now <3 anyway im sleepy even tho work wasnt too busy w the rain and shit. happy sunday #talk tag

[stinkrascal]

i have to stop taking naps at 8pm

#now its almost 11pm and im wide awake e_e #at least we have a living room i can retreat to whenever bf has to sleep for work #watching anime and playing dao is a great excuse to ruin my sleeping schedule i think #my sleeping schedule has been ruined for months now idk why i'm talking as though tonight will be the night i destroy it #the idea that people can simply exist without taking at least two naps a day... wild #i said this before but i literally cannot stay awake after eating food. idk why but the feeling of being full makes me tired #we had delicious calzones today... happy calzone sunday you guys #WE BOUGHT A COFFEE TABLE and then got calzones from this italian place we like. and watched csm #ik everyone doesn't like makima but i like her. she's a girlboss #i'm giving anastasia 20% makima influence. girlbosses #don't spoil csm i don't read manga stfu!! #power is my gf btw. also i kin her. she's so gross and i absolutely adore her #also that girl with the eyepatch is cool too. idk her name but she has an eyepatch so obviously i'm about her