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thewhumperinwhite · 4 years

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Café: Forest

Previous: Teaser 1, Teaser 2, Hospital/Squad Car, Empty Bar, Used Car Lot 1, Used Car Lot 2, Gas Station, Roadside 1, Roadside 2.

Kent and Pax have incompatible methods for coping with trauma. Sol tries to make due with the trio’s one communal brain cell.

TW for: suicidal ideation which is not handled particularly well by companions, Kent gets triggered and doesn’t explain that to anyone, referenced past domestic abuse, gore, eye horror, terrible communication skills, Sol is trying his fucking best but nobody does a great job here, Vehicular Horror (as in many zombies get run over by cars idk how to warn for that exactly)

@whumpitywhumpwhump

Continues directly from Roadside 2.

Sol stares at Pax, revulsion rising in the back of his throat, but he’s honestly startled when Kent is suddenly on his feet and shoving Pax in the chest.

Pax stumbles back from Kent, who is suddenly his full six feet, eyes blazing.

“You goddamn bastard!” Kent screams. “How the hell could you— I might still have been able to— “

Pax slaps him.

“Shut the fuck up,” Pax says, their voice low and dangerous. “What, you think that was super easy for me, you spoiled little shithead? You think I liked that?” Pax is shorter than Kent, almost certainly, but their slap bowled Kent halfway over, and he hasn’t straightened, his hair hiding his face. “We all. Wanted. To help,” Pax snarls. “But we’re not all trying to feed ourselves to zombies, you dumb asshole, you don’t get to decide that for the rest of us. I’ve got my own reasons for wanting you to get where you’re going but I will not die for you, you got that? You want to be a martyr, go do it someplace else.” He rounds on Sol. “And what the hell is your problem?”

Sol, who has been tugging on Paxon’s sleeve, points.

“Oh, fuck me,” says Paxon.

It’s hard to really make them out in just the truck’s headlights, but there are at least three figures standing at the edge of the trees on the other side of the road. Backing up to stand behind Paxon— he’s pretty sure he’s past the point of being ashamed of himself— Sol spots a fourth. And— there’s a fifth, too.

“Back in the car?” Sol prompts, a tad desperately.

“Back in the car,” Pax agrees, taking a step toward the truck.

Sol reaches down to pick up his bat from the asphalt, and as soon as he closes his hand around it one of the figures breaks from the others and lurches at a jerking, unsteady run toward the circle of headlights.

“Shit!” Sol squawks, stumbling backwards, but Paxon, their sword swishing smoothly out of its sheath, surges forward to meet the man and slices through his neck in one clean swipe.

“There a reason you two idiots ain’t running yet?” they growl over their shoulder, and Sol shakes his head clear and takes off toward the truck, grabbing hold of Kent’s collar on the way past and dragging him along.

Kent stumbles after him, his head still bowed, and finally croaks, “Wait, we— we can’t just leave them to— “

“I think they got this,” Sol snaps, and glances over his shoulder to see Pax spin to neatly decapitate a second running, bloody-eyed figure. “‘Sides,” he goes on, a bit snidely, yanking the driver’s side door open, “how exactly were you gonna help without a weapon, genius?”

Kent climbs into the back seat, not meeting Sol’s eyes. He’s breathing heavy, and his hands are in tight, shaking fists in his lap.

It occurs to Sol that he has now seen Kent slapped twice in the very short time he’s known him. There’s no time to think about that now, but it— maybe bears examination later.

“You know how to drive, right?” Kent mutters, at the floor of the truck.

“‘Course I do,” Sol snaps, throwing the car in reverse and taking a deep breath. “Mostly!”

He rolls his window down. “Coming on your left, Pax!”

Paxon pauses with their sword in the stomach of a very large man whose eyes have spilled out in bloody streams down his cheeks— Sol gags a little before he makes himself focus on driving— to glare at the truck over their shoulder, and then they readjust their grip and slice the man clear in half, before swinging their sword straight down through one of his ruined eyes. Sol sees Kent wince and throw a hand over his mouth in the rearview mirror.

“Take your time,” Paxon calls, sword flashing. There’s beginning to be kind of a large pile of bodies around them. “I’m enjoying myself out here.”

“Wow,” Sol says, focusing on reversing the car in such a way that he will not run Paxon over. He does his best to ignore the sickening lurch of the car as it rolls over one body, then two. “You really pissed them off.”

Kent glares at the floor of the truck. Yeah, they’re going to have to have a long conversation about this later, assuming they can actually get out of this.

When the truck rolls to a stop beside them, Paxon yanks the passenger side door open and climbs in, turning as they do so to shove their sword straight into a lunging man’s open mouth and up into his brain.

“Uh—” Sol swallows. “You good?”

“If you are,” they snap, settling into their seat and slamming the door closed.

“We, uh, we are, we’re—” He clears his throat awkwardly. Kent is still glaring at the floor, and Paxon is staring out the window, which a woman with blood running down her chin is now throwing herself against. “We’re great. Yeah.”

Sol puts the car clumsily into drive and slams his foot down on the gas, apparently a bit too hard.

A small dark figure is illuminated by the headlights for a second before they disappear under the truck’s tires. Sol forces himself to keep his eyes on the road and orders himself not to think about it.

He almost swerves to avoid the next one, but Paxon reaches over and puts their hand on the wheel.

“Just hit ‘em,” they say in a low, flat voice. “It doesn’t make a damn difference either way.”

Kent makes a horrified sound from the backseat, and winces badly when the car thumps over the woman’s body.

“Uh,” Sol squawks.

“Look at ‘em,” Pax says. “They’re running right at the damn tires. They don’t give a fuck what happens to them, so why should we, huh?” They look straight forward through the windshield, and don’t look at Kent, who Sol can see jolt in the backsea; Kent tangles a hand in his own hair and pulls it, hard; Sol winces.

The next one Sol hits leaps right at the front of the car and slides up onto the hood, hitting the windshield with a sick crack. Kent squeezes his eyes shut, and Pax glares straight ahead, though their hands tighten into fists on their bloody pant legs.

“Um,” Sol says. “Are we gonna talk about this, or...?”

“No,” Kent says flatly.

“Ain’t a damn thing to talk about,” Pax snaps.

Sol rolls his eyes. “Oh, yeah, right, fine. My bad.”

The last one is another woman, and the headlights catch in her blonde hair for a second, and Sol can’t help but swerve to avoid her. He very carefully does not look at Paxon, who scowls at him.

Finally he rolls his eyes and shoots Paxon a glare, and then he glances up at the rear view mirror to include Kent in it, too. “I’m not picking sides here, okay? I think y’all are both fuckin’ nuts.”

Pax pouts. Kent does too, a little bit.

“First of all,” Sol says, “fucking cool it with the martyr complex a little, okay, Kent? Jesus.” Kent flinches, and opens his mouth to protest, but Sol holds up one hand for silence, keeping the other carefully on the wheel. “And you,” he says, rounding on Paxon. “It’s great that you swept to our rescue, and everything, but fucking forgive us for being a little slower to adjust to the whole ‘zombie apocalypse so murder is okay now’ thing, dude. We’re not all fucking naturals like you apparently are.”

“I saved your life,” Paxon says shortly.

“Yeah, I guess,” Sol says uncomfortably. “And, like. Thanks? But do you for real not get how watching you cut a bunch of people’s heads off does not make us more likely to trust you, man?”

“Oh, Christ, not you too,” Paxon snaps, swinging their sword off their back and slamming it down at their feet. “Do neither of you kids get it yet? The world has changed. Y’all’s idealism or whatever is cute, but it’s also gonna get you both killed.” They reach out and shove at Sol’s shoulder, although not very hard. They don’t even look angry anymore, not really, just— tired. “You’re not supposed to trust me, dumbass. You listen, okay, both of you. I do not require that you trust me. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. And I’m not gonna trust you. And then none of us are gonna be disappointed. Okay?”

Sol blinks, feeling kind of confused and— weirdly hurt. “Uh— yeah, fine. Yeah.”

“Don’t worry,” Kent says, sharply. “We won’t.”

Pax turns back to glare at him. “Well good,” they say with their teeth bared. “You shouldn’t.”

Then they both turn and glare out opposite windows.

The tension is so thick that for a second Sol is almost glad when the engine emits a sharp pop and a puff of smoke and the truck begins to roll to a stop.

“Aw, shit,” Sol says, trying to gun the engine. “Aw, shit, no, not now—”

Paxon presses their hands over their eyes and makes a noise that sounds like it would be a scream if their teeth weren’t clenched. Kent leans forward between the passenger and driver’s seats to watch the plume of smoke drift upwards from the engine.

“Either of you know how to fix that?” he says flatly.

“I know how to hotwire cars, not fix them, man,” Sol says, flopping back in his seat and closing his eyes.

Kent hesitates. “...Paxon?”

Paxon removes one hand from their face long enough to give Kent the finger. “Fuck you, blondie, I can’t do everything around here.”

Kent frowns at the dashboard as if he can somehow guilt the engine beneath into running again. “Oh,” he says. There isn’t really much else to say.

There’s a long and very pregnant pause. Paxon massages their temples. Sol counts to ten, twice, and tries without much success to regulate his heart rate. Kent fidgets and turns in his seat to look out the back window.

“Um,” he starts, unconsciously tapping the back of Paxon’s chair like an impatient five-year-old. “I don’t think you quite— got all of them,” he says hesitantly.

Paxon takes in a long breath and then lets it out, and then they drop their hands and toss their long red ponytail. “Yeah, yeah,” they say, yanking the door handle with a little more force than necessary. “It was getting a little cramped in here, anyway.”

“H-hey— hold on!” Sol yelps, reaching for their sleeve. “Are you out of your fucking mind? We can’t go out there!”

They’re already on their feet outside the truck and repositioning their sword on their back. “Yeah, well, it would also be pretty dumb of us to stay in here and get surrounded. Rein in your underage martyr and let’s jet, babe.” They shoot Sol a shiny and very fake grin and cross in front of the truck toward the woods, boot heels clicking against the pavement. They swing their sword out of its sheath as they go and the metal glints alarmingly in the light from the headlights.

Sol frowns after them, feeling... more intimidated than he wants to.

“I hate to say it,” he mumbles at the back of Kent’s head— the blonde is kneeling on the back seat and staring out the back window— “but I think they’re probably kind of right, man. You coming?”

Kent is silent for a moment, watching the vague forms milling about in the darkness behind the truck.

“Hey,” Sol says, reaching out for his shoulder. “...Kent?”

Kent winces when Sol’s fingertips brush his coat collar, and then he looks down at his hands and mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like “sorry”.

“Huh?” Sol retracts his hand hastily. That was a bad idea. In fact, it didn’t happen. He 100% did not notice Kent shaking and reach out to comfort him like somebody’s goddamn mother.

“I said, ‘you’re right,’” Kent says, turning to give him a shaky smile.

Sol blinks at him, debates calling him a liar, reaches for the car door instead. “Yeah, sure, whatever, man. Let’s just— let’s go.”

The sky is starting to spit rain, and Paxon is waiting for them with their hand on their hip and and expression of almost violent impatience on their face. They raise an eyebrow at Sol and pointedly do not look at Kent. “You took your sweet time,” they say tightly.

Kent, hugging himself a little against the cold dankness of the air, raises a hand to catch a few raindrops and frowns up at the sky. “It’s raining.”

Paxon frowns at him, and then rolls their eyes, turns on their heel and stomps off into the trees. “Yes, sunshine, it is. Thank you for pointing that out.” They sneer at him over their shoulder. “At least you’ve got your looks, kid.”

Kent wrinkles his nose at them, following. “Yeah, you’ve mentioned that,” he says, a few slivers of ice in his voice. “I’m flattered, I guess, but you’re actually not my type, Paxon.”

“Now there’s a surprise,” Paxon says, rolling their eyes.

“Oh my god, you guys,” Sol runs a hand through his hair and tries to focus on not tripping over tree roots. The woods are getting thicker, and Pax is walking very quickly. “Will you please shut the fuck up.”

Kent grumbles, but shuts his mouth. Pax picks up their pace slightly, the ass.

The drizzle is turning into something more like a downpour, now, and still companionable silence is apparently too much to ask.

“What I meant,” Kent snaps after five blissful minutes of nobody snapping at anybody else, “was that it is raining, and we have no shelter, or changes of clothing, or food, or— or anything.”

“Some of us have weapons,” Paxon says sweetly. “That’s not nothing.”

Kent huffs. “I’m sure that’ll be a great comfort when we’re— what, huddled in trees, freezing to death?”

Sol wrinkles his nose. His own coat, while thick enough to stop the old man’s teeth, is not waterproof and is starting to get kind of heavy with rainwater. By morning it’ll probably smell like a wet sheep, too. Kent might be okay in his oversized black coat, but Paxon’s poncho and leather jacket don’t look warm at all, and they’re certainly not waterproof.

“Yeah,” he says. “That’s, uh, a fair point. Do you have, like, a plan, Pax?”

Pax turns on their heel, half-skipping along backwards, dancing over the rough ground in a way that doesn’t really seem fair. “Plans are for squares, kid. Everyone knows that.”

Kent glares at them, discomfort written clear across his face. Sol looks from Kent’s shaky irritation to the tight, tense set of Paxon’s shoulders and their white-knuckled grip on their sword.

“We’re all gonna die,” he says flatly.

#whump #the café at the end of the world #trauma #slapped #ptsd trigger #zombie apocalypse whump #incompatible coping methods #conflict #confrontation #vehicular horror #eye horror #zombies

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thewalkingdead-imagines · 7 years

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TWD - Negan Imagine ~ "The Other Side"

An imagine about the 14th episode of Season 7 While the reader has no idea about Sasha and Rosita’s plans, she spends more time with Negan before she sees something changing…

I’m following the storyline of the TV show, so I wrote parts to the other episodes as well that are connected. BUT they are all written the way that you can read them separate without having read any other part! You can find every other part of the series here

The sound of the pouring water from the shower sounded through the closed bathroom door of Negan’s room while you watched out of the windows while sitting on the leather couch. Moments alone weren’t something you had often since he had taken you with him after the line-up and especially after he had decided that it was better and more safe if you’d stay in his room and you could need this silent moments without him by your side. The shower kept going while you drew little circles with your fingers onto the soft leather beneath you while your brother Daryl came back into your mind even when you tried to suppress the thoughts about something happening to him. You knew Negan was searching for him, even when he stopped talking about that in your presence. And he wasn’t dumb, hell no, he was pretty smart and you were sure that he knew that in case he would brag around you about him catching Daryl would destroy that little and fragile bond you had build up to him which you felt guilty enough for. The mood towards Negan from your side had become more relaxed over the time you were here and even though you didn’t want to admit it you could sometimes even feel somehow comfortable around him when he wasn’t acting like the biggest asshole on earth. And even when you did your best to not let it spread out more or let it show through and there were enough reasons for you to still despise him in some way. The shower suddenly stopped and shortly after that, Negan walked smirking out of the door only with a towel around his hips while you just tried to look uninterested onto the leather, knowing that some blush would probably creep up your face if you’d look longer at him this way. “Being huffy ‘cause I still got that towel on? Just say something and it’s on the floor”, you heard Negan chuckle as he went over to the wardrobe while it was clear to you and probably also to him that you wouldn’t take this offer. Even though teasing you still seemed like one of his favorite things to do. You heard a knock on the door before you could answer to his comment. “Boss? Gotta check up some things before heading to hilltop”, you heard Simons voice sound through the closed door. “Yeah come in”, Negan growled now fully dressed while the door opened slowly and let Negan’s right hand man walk in, who now waited for Negans order. “Take a fucking seat. But Simon, I thought you knew that you can’t just knock here whenever the fuck you want to, we got the fucking walkie for a damn reason, hell Simon, you could have caught us fucking”, Negan chuckled before your head snapped over to him sending a glare to Negan that let him chuckle even more amused. “But serious now, I need you to get someone”, Negan said as he let himself fall next to you. “And who is that someone?”, asked Simon leaning towards placing his elbows on his knees. “Dr. Carson 2.0”, Negan said looking over to Simon. “Since Dr Carson #1 burned a bit too much for other stuff than his job, I just have no damn doctor here and fucking Hilltop has one. Cant leave it that way”, Negan said as you completely realized who he was talking about. You had met him the few times you had been at Hilltop and the only thing you knew, was that he was the main reason Maggie should have stayed there even before everything with Negan had started. God, she needed that Doctor, the baby needed him. “We need you in hallway B2 Boss, just to check things up”, you heard the cracking sound of a voice coming out of the walkie ripping you out of your thoughts. “Be right back Sweetheart”, Negan said before he got up and walked out of the room leaving you alone with Simon who raised his voice shortly after the door shut. “Got some parallels between you and Carson”, Simon chuckled as he leaned back while you looked questioning over to him. “Which would be?”, you asked sternly watching him. “He got some dead son of a bitch brother, you…probably have a dead son of a bitch brother or at least pretty soon”, Simon grinned while you rolled your eyes scoffing not answering his provoking statement while you heard him chuckle. “Still waiting for the moment he gets his head bashed”, Simon continued nodding over to the bat that stood next to the couch while you tried to black out his voice. You wouldn’t let him provoke you. He had already tried that shortly after you got here and just like that time, you wouldnt give that to him. You saw him from the corner of your eye standing up and bowing down to you. You moved your head as you saw him way too close while he grinned at you. “Just like that head of the asian guy he got killed”, he said earning a glare from you while you almost said something but heard Negan clearing his throat. “Would you fucking tell me what the fucking fuck you’re doing there, Simon?”, Negan growled while Simon backed shocked away, the grin vanished from his face. “I-I just-”, began Simon but got cut off by Negan. “Whatever the fuck that was. Not again. You know what happens when you do, right Simon?”, Negan growled as his glance gored through him. “Yeah, right Boss”, Simon answered swallowing. “And now fuck off to Hilltop and get me Dr. Carson”, Negan hissed before Simon nodded and rushed out of the room. “And we two check if your friend Dr. Smartypants is doing his job right”, Negan said swinging his bat over his shoulder. You walked outside the Sanctuary, already hearing walker groans coming from the cage. A few more steps outside and you saw Eugene standing outside of the cage wearing a dark coat with a stuffed animal in its pocket, while directing a man how to spread the molten metal over the walker’s head. You walked past the fences where the walkers where already attached to while Negan inspected them. “Look at those fucking shitheads, god dammit I need even more of them to fill that crap up”, he chuckled before he bowed over to you. “And look at Dr. Smartypants in between! He’s thriving!”, Negan said quietly grinning before you looked over to Eugene who walked now up and down the fence studying the walkers that were mostly covered in molten metal. You felt a cold breeze brushing over your skin leaving it covered in goosebumps while you damned yourself for leaving your jacket inside before you heard the walkie whistling before Negan answered it. “Boss, we got about six dead ones. We’re at the small house western to the gates”, you heard the cracking voice of a man say through the walkie. “Yeah, I’m coming”, you heard Negan say. “You heard it, we’re gonna make a little trip into the fucking forest”, said Negan grinning putting the walkie back into its place. The gates closed behind you with a squeaking metallic sound before you walked along the road for a short time while feeling the cold air brushing over your skin once again. “Oh oh, someone’s cold”, you heard Negan saying through a grin before you looked over to him. You saw him biting his lip as he began to slip his jacket off his body while you realized what he planned to do. “I’m fine, you can leave your jacket on”, you said looking at him. “Nah Sweetheart, you’re leaving me almost no chances to show you my fucking gentleman side. You can’t fucking stop me now”, he said chuckling slightly before he held his jacket in front of you raising his eyebrows. “Don’t be that fucking stubborn”, Negan said chuckling after a few more moments. “Says the right one”, you responded while Negan just shrugged his shoulders chuckling while he kept holding the jacket before you as you realized that he wouldn’t give up until that piece of cloth was on your body. “Jesus”, you scoffed as you took the jacket and shoved the leather over your cold skin while Negan clapped chuckling into his hands. You slipped your arms through the sleeves while you felt how the warmth Negan had brought in spread over your body warming it up while his scent encased you. “Looks fucking good on you, you should wear it more often”, Negan said grinning. “Be satisfied that I’m wearing it now”, you said slightly grinning before Negan held a knife before he looked at you. “I didn’t forget that you don’t like being outside without a weapon, Sweetheart”, Negan said grinning responding to your slightly questioning glance. “Thanks”, you said as you took the knife before you looked down to it. On its handle a wired bat curved into it like on the gun Carl had before you even met Negan in Person. You walked a bit into the woods as you saw small abandoned and pretty declayed house between the trees, before that a few of Negan’s men with walkers on ropes, one of them pretty putrid already held by the tallest of them. “Alright everybody! Looks mostly good, but Pete? Are you fucking kidding me? That shithead falls apart before Smartypants can pour some metal over its fucked up head”, Negan said pointing from the tall man to the walker. You heard him scoff slightly before he went closer and let his bat crush down on the walkers head, that immediately fell lifeless to the ground. “And the rest over to the cage”, growled Negan before his men walked past you, while the groaning walkers stretched their arms out to you, that close, that you had to move away to not let their rooting hands touch you. “God fucking damnit be fucking careful where you’re guiding those pricks!”, you heard Negan yell before his men nodded and guided the walkers away from you further to the sanctuary until they vanished behind the trees. You turned around to Negan and saw him looking at the house. “I just realized that I walked a fucking thousand times past that damn house and was never in it! Wanna go for a little exploring tour?”, Negan asked turning grinning around to you. “Well, yeah”, you answered being just glad to have the possibility to spend more time outside the sanctuary. “Then lets go!”, Negan said enthusiastic before he put a hand on your lower back and lead you with him to the entrance. “Some dickhead in here?”, Negan called out drumming with his bat against the door. No walker groans. The door squeaked as Negan swung it open and walked inside with you. It was not only from the outside decayed, it didn’t look much better from the inside. The broken windows had allowed the wind and the leaves it carried to enter the house. Books had fallen from shelves, pulled out drawers that were left empty, probably through someone who had searched for useful things a long long time ago or even the Saviors. “I guess my men have already taken most useful stuff here but you can always find something right?”, Negan said chuckled before you began looking a bit around in the living room. You ended up at a cupboard that was filled with books but next to that photos, some fallen on their back, others still standing up. They showed happy faces of adults and children that held each other in their arms and seemed like nothing could destroy what they had. You had seen a lot photos in the countless houses you walked through after the outbreak while searching for supplies and everytime you saw those pics you asked yourself what happened to them after things got bad and if they were still alive even though you knew they probably weren’t. “Oh my goodness”, you heard Negan call out before you turned around to him seeing him kneeling on the floor with a plank he had slightly moved away but you still couldn’t see what he was being amused about. “What?”, you asked before he looked up to you. “Fuck, here is indeed still something! Seems like someone placed their fucking theft here shortly before things went downhill”, Negan called out, pulling chuckling bundles of money out of the hole. Money that was now completely useless. He searched more before holding a slip up. “In case you’re coming back - Jason”, read Negan aloud before he laid it next to the hole. “Doesn’t look like someone came back, Jason”, Negan said chuckling before looking back into the hole and rummaged in it. “Fuck, Sweetheart. Be tensed, ‘cause your man has a fucking gift for you”, Negan said before he looked back up. “Can you catch?”, Negan asked chuckling. “Well I-”, you said while something glimmering flew through the air and landed with some effort of you between your hands. You opened them, spotting a pretty thin braclet that was made out of tiny white diamonds that were separated attached to each other to a line. You looked up from the sparkling jewelry to Negan who stood before you again and looked smirking at you. “Hope you like it ‘cause It’s fucking yours now”, Negan said smirking at you. “By the way also every fucking thing you like in here, just take it”, Negan added before he continued as he saw your testing glance and noticed your silence. “I don’t want anything in return, if thats what you’re thinking about”, he said more serious, while you had to admit that his suspicion hadnt been completely wrong. “Alright, then thanks”, you said while a small smile flashed over your lips that created one on Negan’s, before he raised his voice again. “Let me get that around your wrist”, he said before he grabbed the bracelet that almost vanished in his hands. He carefully slipped the thin brace around your wrist, closed it and left it hanging onto it while it was that light that you almost couldn’t feel it. “Alright then lets continue, who knows what fucking treasure we find else here”, Negan said with the grin back on his face. You slowly walked through the other rooms of the house, Negan walking into another one than you, while you tightened your grip around the knife as you walked into a room that seemed to have been a cozy bedroom once. You slowly kept walking before a shiver run down your back. Before you laid a dead person, already that deceased that you couldnt directly see if it had been a man or a woman, a rusted knife in their hand with which they seemed to have ended their life with. Next to the body laid a backpack, empty water bottles fallen out of it. The one clearly hadn’t had hope left to end their life that way. They’d been so close to a community, even if you weren’t sure if that would have been the much better opportunity for the one as cruel as it sounds. “Damn”, you heard Negan mutter behind you as you heard his footsteps coming closer. You turned around to him while he walked closer with a serious glance in his eyes that laid on the dead body. “Lets get out of here”, you heard him say before you walked with him out of the room, glad to leave that cruel scenery behind. You walked back through the woods until you came back to the road and you first noticed again that you were still wearing Negan’s jacket. It was comfortable and you couldn’t deny as much as you liked that the warmth and his scent made you feel somehow good but seeing the gates from afar let you want to get out of Negan’s clothing. You didnt need everyone in the Sanctuary to see you wearing his stuff, so got out of the jacket and held it before him. “And no, I won’t wear it longer”, you said before Negan turned chuckling to you. “I think you gotta, you need to be warm, Sweetheart”, Negan said chuckling. ”I’m warm enough, were also back inside soon”, you said still holding the jacket in front of him. This time he wouldn’t get what he wanted, so you just kept holding the Jacket before him. “Two can play that game”, you continued with a small grin flashing over your lips while Negan chuckled. “Fuck, alright”, Negan said chuckling taking his Jacket back and pulling it over his body as you kept walking towards the gates that opened and let you enter.

”Were gonna get some food and see if Simons back then”, Negan said before, the the walkie beeped once again. ”Fucking fuck, you can’t leave those fuckheads alone once”, Negan growled looking at the beeping walkie. ”I’ll manage that shit, you know where the kitchen is right?”, he asked stressed. ”Yeah, I’ll find it”, you answered while Negan still seemed to think. ”You know what, keep the knife”, he said while he stroke over his jaw. ”In case someone comes too fucking close and you feel the need to, fucking use it I’ll come to you as fast as I can”, you heard Negan say before he rushed around a corner before you walked into the direction of the kitchen. You walked closer to the door, opening it as you heard sounds clearly produced by heels coming from the inside. Realizing that you couldn’t go, now you had already opened it, you walked into the kitchen seeing one of Negan’s wives standing at the fridge taking out some orange juice while she eyed the casserole standing on the table with Negans name written on it. As she seemed to hear you she turned around and looked over to you. She wasn’t one of the ones Negan had send over to Eugene, that was the only thing you could tell about her. “Hi”, you muttered looking at her, not really knowing how she would react to you. The first time you had seen them all, Carl had been at the sanctuary and you, being the one Negan seemed to be clearly drawn to without making her his wife obviously hadn’t made you pretty likeable to them. You saw her looking over to you while she nodded slowly taking a sip of the juice. You looked over to the table that gladly to you wasn’t done yet, so you began to get cutlery and plates to have something to do and not having to stand awkwardly around. “Eating with Negan?”, you heard her voice asking. “Yeah”, you said turning around before finishing the table while you knew that you were probably forced to talk to her now. She nodded while she eyed you up and down before she continued. “Did he propose to you with that?”, she asked nodding over to the bracelet. “No”, you responded shaking your head slightly while you saw her beginning to chuckle. “Don’t know why he’s keeping you around then”, she said chuckling bitterly while taking another sip. “Then you should ask him, ‘cause I don’t know it either”, you said looking over to her while she kept eyeing you as if she was trying to find a way to find out the answer. The awkward silence between you and her kept becoming stronger until she raised her voice again. “Well, then bye”, she muttered before she went out of the room as you heard heavy footsteps coming closer. “Oh, hi Negan”, you heard her saying sweetly in front of the room. “Hello”, you heard Negan just respond with a dull undertone before you saw him walking in with his bat over his shoulder while the sound of heels became more distant. You didn’t know how much he changed his behavior towards them since you where here, even when you were sure that he did. You couldn’t imagine that he had spend much time with them since your arrival, he was almost the whole time around you, but to be honest you weren’t sure if you wanted to know what was exactly going on. This simple fact that he had this harem disgusted you already enough and besides that, the thought of him being with one of them let an ugly feeling creep up in you. ”And I’m back again”, Negan said suddenly with a smirk back on his face while he walked over to the casserole and brought it to the table for you and him. While you began eating the casserole the wife had brought one question back into your mind that had been already there once in a while. Why had he never made you one of his wives? Or even attempted to do so? Of course, there would have been no way you would have agreed to be part of his harem, but still, his decisions, his harsh negating to others that you were one of them made you wonder why. You poked in your food struggling with yourself and not being sure if you should really ask him, but when not now, when else? ”Why did you never make me one of them?”, you finally asked with a gulp as you looked up at him. ”Who?”, Negan asked muttered while you could see in his eyes that he exactly knew what and who you were talking about. ”Your wives”, you answered while your glance caught him clenching his jaw tightly as he stayed quiet for a moment. ”I mean...I wouldn’t have ever agreed....but, well I just wondered”, you continued a little insecure. Negan’s lips pursed for a second as he pondered, his brows puckered before he looked at you and let out a sigh. ”Couldn’t imagine you as one of them, I-...well, I didn’t want to imagine you as one of them”, he said completely serious as he refused to look directly into your eyes. ”After all, you were with a bunch of people who were up to raze out a whole fucking outpost, you had to have it down pat, at least somehow. Now I didn’t know what you’d turn out to fucking be but I knew for fucking sure that I’d be some dumb ass fucker if I would have made you one and just have you here for-”, he said, stopping mid sentence as he seemed to try to find out how to handle the situation best. ”Sex? I know. Guess I’d be the dumb fucker if I hadn’t noticed that you just got them for that... I mean, it’s just a deal in the end”, you mumbled, sure that you were in the position to tell him this fact that clearly Negan let out another sigh as he slightly nodded and ran a hand over his stubble. ”Yeah...that’s what this shit is, never planned that kinda deal with you though”, he mumbled before a wolfish grin placed on his lips again as he continued. ”Fucking saw that you’re a matchless one from the first fucking moment on, got some kind of sixth sense when it comes to that”, he said with a wider grin on his lips. ”Well, when your sixth sense is saying that...”, you said with a slightly ironic undertone as a grin flashed over your lips and a chuckle rumbled through Negan’s chest. ”Just take it as a fucking compliment that sure as shit no one else gets”, he said with another slight chuckle while he leaned against the backrest of his chair. “Alright”, you said as you realized what he had just told you with these words. Sure, he had hinted at it here and there why you weren’t in this room with the other women, wearing some black dress and doing not much more than waiting for him, but he had never actually said it this serious and just to you. “But seriously, I mean it. You’re mor-”, he said stopping again and in that moment, the big bad wolf actually seemed a bit insecure. And with that you knew that there was more behind those words that told you that you were something different to him, something way more. And the way his glance intensified and the way he suddenly turned oddly quiet, he seemed to have realized that in these very moments as well. “Guess Simon’s coming back from Hilltop soon, we should go outside”, Negan said, suddenly clenching his jaw while you saw how his muscles tensed before he hastily stood up. You walked out of the Sanctuary as the motors of the coming back trucks went quiet while Negan swung his bat on his shoulder still seeming to be stressed and tensed. Negan went with you into the direction of the trucks where Simon jumped from one and watched as you and Negan came closer and you somehow had the feeling that you were watched. “My two favorite Docs right here together! Fuck yes!”, Negan called out walking chuckling over to Eugene and the man you already knew. ”Hello Dr. Carson 2.0!”, Negan said before he moved closer to him, bowing his head close to Dr. Carson’s. ”I bet you’re gonna do a fucking good job”, he said patting his shoulder. “And Dr. Smartypants? You alright?”, asked Negan going over to him and laying an arm around Eugene who stuttered slightly. “Ye-yeah I’m alright”, he said while Negan chuckled. “That’s what I wanted to hear Smarty! So I need a about a dozen more of those dead shitheads and since I got shit to do and you, my friend, are doing such a great ass job I want you to give some orders and handle that fucking shit”, Negan said grinning. “Just speak into that walkie-talkie Smarty and they’ll get you more of those pricks!”, Negan chuckled wiggling with the walkie over Eugenes shoulder which he grabbed slowly. “Great! And you, Carson 2.0, just settle a bit in, enjoy your new life with the right people”, Negan said chuckling while he patted Eugenes shoulder before he let go of him and walked into the direction of the entrance again. Negan still seemed somehow tensed as you walked back even though his hand was resting on your lower back and you knew that it could only be caused by the conversation you’ve had. You werent sure how to interpret his reaction, but there were questions and confused thoughts going on in your head. If the reason for that behavior was that he regretted telling you that. If you had these thoughts without any sense and your mind was simply playing tricks on you. Or if it even showed that you meant already a lot more to him than he had realized until that moment.

part 14

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