#jhin cw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frenchbreadandeggs · 1 year

Text

Willow

CW!: attempted r*pe, violence, fem! reader

°This took me a while and I am surprised this finished first than the Yasuo fic I was writing. I haven't proofread this so you have been warned!

Kayn had yet to wander around the woods again.

Or any place that has woods really.

He had successfully beaten Rhaast unintentionally but with a cost of loneliness. Talking to the scythe or per se the Darkin was all he had after Zed died and killing Jhin.

This happens whenever he slanders groups or goblins that he finds in his way. Stealing their valuable belongings and selling them to merchants. It's rare for him to take any interest in them, he just wants power—to kill. He would then go to the nearest forest, walk around or take a stop and listen to the whispering sounds of the trees.

He thinks it's much better than silence and denying the fact that he missed Rhaast's Darkin ramblings.

Today was different or so he thought.

He saw a camp with small bandits and thought of a chance to swiftly kill them and steal goods. The unlucky part was that they called reinforcements, almost catching Kayn and leaving wounds around his body as he escaped.

Almost

He thought, it was fine at least. It is better to go home with heavy wounds than to be dead.

Kayn limped to a village, a possible scenario coming in his head: as he limps towards the village, someone would spot him, help him clean and heal his wounds, and with him fully healed he can have the chance to steal—if they resisted he would not give them any chance to live.

Instead of lively markets and kids running around—he found an abandoned village.

"Today is not my lucky day, I see."

Despite the calmness, he wanted to throw a fit and scream. He can't die because of blood loss from a big wound given by a stupid hunk taller than him. He shouldn't be!

Kayn rested his back on the brick wall of an abandoned house and sat. He couldn’t see or hear any noise but the wind passed by his ear as it sang.

The sun was going down, a sunset. Colors of orange-red and the faint yellow slowly disperse as a deep blue color rises into the sky with the glittering stars. Other than listening to the silent melancholy of the forest, Kayn thinks the sight of the night sky is beautiful. He can make out the constellations or even make a new one.

He looked down at his resting body, dried blood and grime. Kayn grimaced when he moved his body to make himself comfortable. He should think of something that could help stop the blood, wrap a cloth around it before he could drop on the sandy floor and slowly die from blood loss.

A soft melody he heard. His ears perked like a cat hearing its prey. Kayn shakily stood up, the scythe as his support. Putting his weight on the brick walls Kayn limps again to follow the sound lingering to his ear.

The moonlight glowed on a tree—a weeping willow tree perhaps. Its leaves softly danced with the wind, the melody becoming louder. There he saw a lone girl, sitting under the tree a lute cradled with her hands.

Kayn stopped and stared at the girl in silence. Eyes would move to the birds flocking around the girl and look back at the girl. He could see her fingers strumming on the strings and her eyes closed as if she is also drowning in her music as Kayn is.

He felt tired. The heaviness on his shoulder didn’t help, his head then started to spin and his vision went blurry.

Pain shot his side, Kayn gasped for air and cupped his hands at the side to grab his scythe. His heart fell when he couldn't feel the familiar weapon. Noticing he was sitting on a bed almost smaller than him and the bandages neatly wrapped around his wounds.

"You're… awake." A soft voice emerged from the door he didn't notice.

His eyes widened at the person standing at the door, "You… you are that person playing the lute." Kayn internally cringed at the roughness of his voice, he saw the flinch of the girl's body.

An easy target

You placed down the wooden tray beside him and poured tea on his cup and gave it to him, "Drink it, it will regain your strength—or at least help you."

Kayn reluctantly accepted the cup from you. He couldn't trust you immediately, though he is injured and the scythe is nowhere to be found so he is helpless in your hands.

At least he could try befriending you before killing or selling you.

He quickly drank the tea clean and right after Kayn asked your name.

"...I don't tell my name to people like you."

Kayn's fake smile fell, "What?"

"No—I can't tell you my name." You didn't elaborate why and left him alone in the room, leaving the tray beside Kayn.

He tried to stand up and catch up to you but the gash on his torso sent him a painful feeling. Kayn cursed under his breath, the wound had opened and blood started to seep in the pristine bandages.

Have you ever tried to stitch his wound while he was unconscious? Or were you doing it on purpose knowing who he is.

Nothing to do, Kayn laid down on the bed and stared at the dully looking ceiling, cobwebs in each corner of the room. His eyes squinted, there were drawings on the ceiling from stick man to trees and ugly looking houses. This might have been a child’s room, he wouldn’t know at first because there was nothing in the room other than the dresser and the bed he’s using.

What are you doing right now? Maybe you found out that he is a wandering assassin and also found his scythe—

He shot from his bed, he winced loudly enough for you to hear.

“What is wrong with you!?” You cried as you ran to the assassin curling in the bed.

You shoved his arms away from his torso to take a look at his bandages. Horror filled your face. The bandages you wrapped around him in the morning have been soaked by his blood, you lightly touched the bloody part of his torso, red painted your whole palm.

“Ev-everything is blurry.”

The assassin weakly stretched his hand toward you as you hurriedly took your lute.

“Don’t move.” You said as you prepared your lute. Surprisingly, he followed and slowly lay down on the bed. His eyes never left you.

You closed your eyes and started to strum your lute.

Slowly, Kayn’s eyes were closing and his breathing became calm, but you didn’t stop. The faint green glow from the assassin’s torso brightened as you quickly played the instrument. Your breathing became rigid and your heart quickly ran, you needed to at least close his wound completely, forget the anesthesia later.

When you felt the wound slowly closing you stopped playing and took a deep breath. You never healed a person for awhile, especially this critical. You were taught to heal small scratches and cuts from knives, not in this kind of situation.

You placed the lute beside the bed and opened the dresser to take the bandages.

Slowly, you removed the soaked bandages with a swift cut after you reached out to pluck a tone out of your lute. You throw the bandage somewhere in the room, you take note to throw it in a proper place later after patching the man’s wounds.

You took your lute and the bloody bandage and left the room.

Bard! That man is dangerous!

“I couldn’t let him lay there bloodied.”

He is a wandering assassin! Zed’s child!

“You, little bird, should stop snooping around people’s business. Also I don’t know who Zed is and I don’t want to know what he does.”

You shaked off the sparrow and walked outside the house to do the things you usually do. You swing the lute behind you and throw the dirty bandage beside the work table.

Were you injured!?

Bard there is an injured fawn! Help him!

You ignored the question and hastily followed the forest wolf to the woods.

“Ah, stepped on a bear trap.” You winced as you looked at the trap gritting on the fawn’s left leg. The fawn turned its head at you and tried to run but fell. You slowly walked towards the forest animal, careful not to startle it.

“It’s okay, I can help you.” You said with softness in your voice, scared that it would try to run and hurt itself even more. You reached your hand to pet the fawn’s body and it calmed, its head slowly laid on the grass. This was your time to use your lute again.

Thank you for treating my son, bard of healers. Said the mother. You are the only one I trust among the humans.

“There are others that are like me, you don’t see them often.” You said to the mother deer who is laying down in front of you with her children, the fawn you healed is on your lap as you continuously pet his head.

Quite unlucky then. Unlike you, they hunt us and use our heads as trophies, I am glad a person like you exists. A gem.

“Well I exist to help the injured, nothing special about the bard of healers mama doe.”

Hmpf! Nonsense, you do not place traps in the forest.

“Speaking of traps, I will remove them so you and the other families can roam freely.”

You stood up, the mother followed you and her other children. The fawn who laid on your lap ran to his mother.

What do you say to her?

Thank you bard!

“You are most welcome.” You said, putting your green cloak on and its hood over your head.

You waved the family goodbye and started to walk back to the village to get your pack for taking out traps and ropes scattered in the forest.

“I did not know you were strange.”

You froze on your tracks, the crunch of leaves slowly drew near you. It stopped when a hand grabbed your arm and forced you to turn around. Gosh you hate having those eyes stare at you like you were prey. You tried to shake his grip on you but it tightened instead.

“Let go of me.” You gritted between your teeth. How could this man recover so quickly even losing that much blood, you couldn’t imagine the possibilities that this man is immortal.

Your heart dropped when he chuckled, his wicked smile fading when he looked at you.

“Not until you explain what you did to my wound.”

Kayn aggressively dragged you down the hill, ignoring your trips on rocks here and there. When you two reached the house Kayn’s grip on you let go as he almost threw you on the wall. You gripped on the chair beside you.

“Sit.”

It was risky if you tried to fight him and you were drained from healing two things an hour apart. So you sat, quietly as you stared at his eyes. He stared back at you while he leaned on the door frame, ready to capture you if you tried to escape.

“Obedient. You are smart not to go against me.” Kayn said as he lifted himself from the frame, slowly advancing his way towards you.

“I recommend you not to hurt me.” You spoke, clutching your back to ease the aching pain Kayn had caused. “That will cause you problems.”

Kayn scoffed, leaning down at the level of your face. Your noses an inch close to touching, “Why? A healer isn’t rare around the place, no?”

You bit your lip. Healers… were not rare— not, until slave traders raided the village and took everyone except for you. This person might not know about the abduction years ago or he is insulting you and your people.

“You don’t know what is circling in your veins.”

“My veins?” Kayn’s eyes widened as he stood away from you, his brows then furrowed. “What do you mean by that?”

“Your wound, the big one on your torso is infected. The weapon used might be spelled by venom, if you kill me no one will heal or help you.”

“Why?”

“You’re a wandering assassin.”

You quickly raise your arm and slashed Kayn’s arm with a whip. He quickly dodged but the end of your whip still hit him, earning a slash on his arm. You saw him raising his hand to his back, his face fell when he realized there was nothing hanging on his back.

“Where is it?!” Kayn screamed, his panicked cries caught you off guard. He looks like a child throwing a tantrum because he couldn’t find his toy. You would expect more anger from him, charge at you immediately when he noticed his little toy was taken away from him.

Kayn looked around the empty room, hoping he could find his scythe and kill this girl for threatening him. You rolled your temporary whip and hung it at the back of your waist, walking up to him you looked down meeting his eyes.

“Let me be your companion, then I can heal you.” As you stared at him you pointed the lone cabinet at the other side of the room. Expected, Kayn scrambled up to his feet and ran towards the cabinet and opened it.

Kayn smiled as he raised his scythe as a trophy, “Hah I have you again—” he turned around, “Oh I can not wait to have your blood on my scythe hea—”

You were not in the room. Kayn had realized, his smile becoming sickening knowing that you had run away—scared of the scythe, him. Kayn likes a swift death, a death the victim could not expect but he likes it when people try to run away from him, beg for his mercy—it was his definition of fun . With his grip on the scythe Kayn walked out of the room to chase you down.

Or so he thought.

He saw you, instead of running, was on the floor packing things in your big bag. Kayn stood there, confusion painted on his face, confused why were you not running away—crying for your dear life. You had noticed his gloomy presence behind you as you finished packing your things with a big zip of the bag.

You stood up from the dusty cement and swinged the bag to your back.

“I do not think you have anything with you, we should go.”

"You know I could kill you—"

"But you did not." You said as you whirled around to face the assassin. His messy hair, uneven breathing as he desperately gripped his scythe gave you the hint not to push his buttons. Simply, you turned against him and continued with your business.

Walking to the workshop standing at the back of your house, you gave it a swift brush on the surface and whispered i will miss you and stretched your hand to let the birds rest. Years of using the desk, you finally—maybe buy a new one if the possible journeys with the assassin give you money.

You looked at the empty desk, remembering the memories and the things you made with it.

‘I’m going to have a better one’

Stay with us!

I miss you already!

She is old enough to make her decisions, let her be.

Glancing at the birds on your arm, their bickering and attempts to talk to you made your lips twitch a smile. A yellow bird flew on your shoulder, you can hear its small chirps in order to talk to you.

“Now now,” You laughed, as a hoard of animals surrounded you. “Let’s not be mushy, it will be hard for me to leave.”

“I have not accepted you coming with me, healer.” A hushed voice hissed at you, making your eyes roll and politely made the animal get off you.

Looking at him with a hard gaze, you crossed your arms, “Then you can leave without me,” Your face softened, but your lips pressed in a thin line, “But you are going to die in a few hours or so.”

“What is it?!” Kayn desperately asked, his eyes intensely looked down at your form.

“A venom spell from black magic, only born of healers, could remove that from a human’s body.”

A white barn owl flew past Kayn, hitting his head on purpose and landed on your shoulders. You smiled as you communicated with your feathery friend, as it asked to be your animal companion in your adventures.

Kayn could only stare at you, if he is fully healed by you, later on he will kill you.

Kayn thinks of how he could kill you in a hundred ways while traveling city to city, while you on the other hand are talking to your now new companion. Animals who talk to you don't necessarily need to open their mouth and speak with barks, meows, or chirps—they would look at you and speak in your mind, you don’t know how that is possible but you are determined to figure it out while on your journey with the assassin.

Be careful around him, I can’t be that much of a help—but I will try my best to protect you.

“Do not fret about it, there is a reason I own a work desk for items I use around the forest.”

I trust you, bard. I am your animal companion after all.

The owl broke his gaze from you for a second and turned his neck to you.

He is deep in thought I suppose.

You looked at your back to see Kayn talking to himself, you couldn’t figure out what he was saying, you hoped it wouldn't be the ways on how he could kill you.

“I mean, he is the first man who came here after a few years… of the raid. So he would be a good shot, I can’t wait for another ten years for a person to find this place.”

I agree, Ishlacan Village is a hidden place.

‘was’ You frowned at your thought of the hidden place of your village being found.

Your owl noticed the change of your expression and flapped his wings to get your attention.

Let us… call the assassin, he might lose his mind.

"You," you called, earning the assassin's attention, "Your name."

He looked at you, both of his eyes going up and down to yoir form as if you were something before replying to you.

"Kayn."

" Kayn? " you narrowed.

He glared, "Kayn."

"Alright, Kayn. I decided to be your traveling companion until I found clues about my people's disappearance, and of course, until the venom is cured and you are fully healed."

"A horrible decision."

"But it benefits us both, is it not?"

He didn't say anything to your commentary, so you think he agreed. He slightly agreed . Walking up to him, you handed a bottle to him—it was runny and clear like water, but it was sparkling.

"What is that?" Kayn eyed the bottle like a picky kid, his eyes looking at you and to the bottle.

"Medicine for the venom in you— I do brews with my magic, it is convenient when I can't use my magic." you replied, crossing your arms after Kayn reluctantly accepted your medicine.

"Does it fully heal?"

"No,"

Somehow you think you saw Kayn's ears flop like a sad wolf for a minute before you continued.

"I have them packed with me so do not worry. You drink once a day—when emergencies then you will drink extra."

What happens when the emergency comes with no medicine of yours, bard?

'Then we have no one to guard us.'

"Does this actually work?"

"Obviously,—are you doubting my magic?"

"This is brewed—"

"By my magic, I made it so we won't be stopping minute by minute to unwrap your bandage and heal you directly inside the deep forest."

"You get tired by using your magic?"

"Like all people who wield magic, it drains us like how people fight using their energy."

He looked at you before drinking the whole bottle, wiping his mouth clean with the back of his palm. You reached your hand to him, he stared at it before realizing that you needed the bottle back.

The bottle now stashed in your bag, you whispered to your owl before he flew away.

“Where is it going?” Kayn looked up at the sky trying to look for your animal companion.

“Tyto is scouting for anything unusal.”

The walk was silent, you were actually nervous as you disabled the traps you see. Kayn could kill you here and there in the deep woods, after all that is what an assassin does, excecute you in times you don’t excpect, or in the dark—but fortunately he was just there following you, the crunch of the dead leaves against his boots audible to your ears.

It was a bad idea to have him follow you at the back, but you know Tyto is looking down at you—ready to call for assistance from the animals living in the forest.

After you disabled a trap, you heard Kayn clear his throat.

“What?” You said, not looking at him but looking for the traps you could find.

“What happened to your people?” He asked. It made you stop. You never get that question very often, not only there were no people stumbling on your abandoned village but the animals you talked to had witnessed it.

“Gone. Kidnapped by raiders.” You continued on your way.

It was silent. You sighed.

“You want a story time? Sure.”

You took a stick and used it to poke the ground.

“My ancestors were mages, but a few hundred years ago we were seperated in groups by what magic we could do. I was born with the hands of a healer, we are named Ishlacan—we often have special abilities when we reach the age of six. And I, can speak and understand animal language.” You raised your sleeve and showed your inner wrist to the assassin, a green tattoo of the caduceus to distinguish your people from others and to be a proud healer.

You lowered the sleeve to your hand where it couldn’t be seen, “ I remember it was daylight when it happened, children my age are running around with me near the fountain waving their hands to boast their newly formed magic. We would laugh and run away from their scolding mothers telling us not to play the magic blessed to us.”

Your grip on the stick tightened, “There was a scream, then before I knew it the raiders found our village. Taking children, women, and even men—the ones who go against them were knocked conscious or beaten into submission.”

Both you and Kayn immediately looked up after a familiar screech. Tyto flew to your shoulders.

A marketplace up ahead, there are swarms of people.

“What did it say?”

“A marketplace,” You placed your hood up and looked at Kayn, “Are you coming?”

“No,” Kayn replied, his brows knitted as if you said something wrong, “I prefer in the shadows.”

You handed out your hand to him. Kayn looked at it questionably.

“Give me your coins, I know you have them.”

He deadpanned at you, shoving his hands in his pockets and aggressively handed you a handful of coins—some fell on the ground but you didn’t bother to crouch down and take them.

“This will do,” You turned away from Kayn and faced your owl. “Stay here, we won’t want people to look at us.”

Will do.

You then walked towards the marketplace Tyto directed you before going back to the forest by your command. You never did look back, thinking there would be people alreadly looking at you, so you walked with the swarm of buyers in the marketplace.

There were nothing but meat and skinned animals hanging on each stall. You scruched your nose and immediately walked to another place where no stink of dead meat invaded your nose.

The crowd never died, some people still pushed you here and there though you do not mind. Around you were filled with vegetables and fruits, some sell spices and sweets in the corner.

Now this is what you want.

You wanted a healthy dinner later, especially for Kayn—he was healing after all and needed the energy for his athletically fit body, so it is possible he needed big portions and healthy food. This was never your first time cooking for someone (who is human), your grandparents would teach you how to cook the basics—what is good and what is to avoid eating. You would get compliments as a kid, the people telling you that you indeed have the hands of a healer even without magic.

With those ego boosting words, you’re hoping you still have it to this day.

In a flash, you stood at the front of the vegetable stalls. The greens are freshly laid on the wooden crates on display for you to choose. After picking the ones that passed your “who is the best” test, you hand them to the trader with the coins Kayn has given to you.

Thanking the old man, you proceeded to the next stall which was filled with oranges. You could feel the freshness of the oranges by just a touch.

“They were freshly picked just this morning.” the merchant said, moving a crate full of oranges.

This would be good for his skin while he heals.

When you didn’t respond to the merchant, he eyed you up and down. You were… ordinary, like those people who are obsessed with hiding their faces or cloth themselves head to toe. As you reached for another orange his eyes squinted at your wrist, something green popping out from your sleeve. His eyes widened, just to be sure the shopkeeper reached his hand to yours while you were busy looking for the perfect orange to feed to Kayn.

“I will buy five of these—”

You gasped when a body collided onto yours, hands a snake— it slithered around your waist with lips near your ears for you to hear the whisper.

“Play along,” whispered by a familiar voice. “I was looking for you and here you are standing in front of a stall that sells… oranges.”

The man was hooded like you, but you knew that voice—spiteful and hushed. Right now he sounded like he was trying hard to be enlightened by finding you standing in an orange stall. You could feel his firm hand grip your waist tightly, he wanted you to respond.

“O-Oh, I was looking for fruits for us to eat at home.” you half-truthfully said.

“Then I will pay for it, you already paid enough let me do it for you.”

With a swift you and Kayn are already outside the marketplace with five oranges in your bag. Kayn removed his hood and stood in your way, his amber eyes angrily stares you down.

“You almost got caught. ” he said with gritted teeth.

“What do you mean by that,” you looked at yourself, there was nothing visible even your hair. “I have myself perfectly covered.”

You gasped when he took your hand, showing your tattoo peeking out of your sleeve. When you get a good look he lets go of your wrist.

“I saw the orange merchant reaching out to your wrist, he saw your tattoo.” Kayn angrily said, his eyes looking around if there is someone lurking at the both of you. He sets his gaze on you as he reaches the hood to place it on his head.

“We need to stay low, stay in the forest.”

“What? That is dangerous!” you resisted.

Staying in the forest for the night was the least you wanted. Sure you talk to animals and you live near a forest but that doesn’t ease you anyhow. Even when you can talk to animals, some you can’t persuade.

“It would be more dangerous when we go straight to a city, they can easily spot us,” he turned around. “After all there are a dozen or more of them in the city.”

“But—”

“If you want me to be with you,” Kayn bent in front of you, his eyes directly staring into yours, almost making a hole. “You listen to me.”

‘How atrocious!’

You could only curse in your mind before stomping to follow Kayn into the woods. Tyto flew back on your shoulders, his wings flapped gently before settling down to rest on you.

What did he say?

‘We are staying in the woods for the night.’

Hm, I can rest on branches how much I would like then.

‘Please not also you’

I could not help myself, sorry in advance.

The walk to the woods was silent, only Tyto’s fluttering wings were heard whenever he flew back to you after surveying the area. Other than that there was nothing but you and Kayn’s light footsteps.

“Do you have at least a blanket to lay on?” you asked him when he found a good spot to stay in for the night.

“No,” he said. “I don’t need one.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line. How can this man be comfortable resting in this forest? You could only sigh and place your bag down and take out the things you needed for the night: a blanket, a small pot, and a knife.

Here are some sticks, bard.

Tyto laid a few sticks in front of you. Thanking the owl, you started to make a bonfire.

Kayn stared at you before walking to another direction. His scythe in hand.

"I will look for more." he said before disappearing into the shadows.

Sighing, you rested your shoulders and took the food you bought from the marketplace. Luckily you had the small wood for you to cut the ingrefirents and poured the water from your waterskin into the pot and lit the bonfire.

While waiting for the water to boil. Would you play music, bard?

"If you say so.”

With a swing from your hand, music played out in your lute. Humming in the tune your grandparents taught you when you were a child. It was a song mostly played in your village, a classic, like by old people to children, maybe it is because it was one of your people’s traditions.

“It’s late to play music,” in a swift Kayn appeared from the shadows, startling you. He noticed you immediately putting away your lute and grabbed a stick to poke it to the fire.

Putting the scrapes of wood he collected, Kayn sat down across you with his eyes staring down on the cooking pot with eagerness.

You knew he was hungry, so you took a cup and poured the soup in it with a spoon and handed it to Kayn. He thankfully accepted it with his right hand, amber eyes now bore at you.

"You have been doing this for…?"

"Almost ten years."

Kayn hummed in reply. Softly blowing the hot soup served to him. You told him more about your people while both of you were eating dinner, he would ask things like what your village’s customs were and so on. Thankfully he didn’t ask anything about you. Like you have something to say about it anyways.

“Your tattoos, are they part of your clan?” you asked, gazing over Kayn’s bare body. You never pay attention to human features even when you patched Kayn while he was unconscious. You were too busy trying to save his life.

“No, they are not—though I was a part of an Order.”

You raised your brow, “Order?”

"Order of Shadows, it was run by my old master, Zed, but later on he was killed by the Golden Demon we were trying to catch. After my master's death, I searched for the Golden Demon high and low until I found him and killed him myself."

Zed

You remembered a bird mentioning that name to you. With curiosity you asked Kayn about the order, what happened after his master died, why is he wandering instead of becoming the new master?

He looked at you for a moment, disbelief painted on his face. Are you not scared that you asked too many questions about him and his order? You should be, yet you are here sitting across him, eager to hear his story like a child.

Kayn shifted on the lumpy ground, then told you the story and even answered your questions. He was there, Kayn’s eyes not leaving Zed’s bleeding body. There were no words exchanged between them, only silence and the shifting of brushes from the escaping Golden Demon. He gave his master a proper burial, the Order in chaos, of course, knowing that their master had been killed by the Golden Demon himself after they faced each other.

At some point in his life he wanted to be the master and surpass Zed. But all he is after right now is the Golden Demon, Jhin. Not so long he met the demon, but before he could strike him down something has taken control of him and woke up to a dead Jhin a few steps away from him, brutally stricken down by the scythe multiple times.

“Does that explain your appearance right now?” you asked.

“It… doesn’t, I shouldn’t be like this or be even the Kayn you know right now.”

You gave him a confused glance, he could only shrug at you.

“So the whole thing taking you over was supposed to be permanent?” you shifted, more eager to know about him now, “Did you bargain with the Devil?”

Kayn gave you a look, “No,” he turned away, “It’s late and we should rest for tomorrow’s energy.”

You groaned, “Tell me about it?”

“No, what I said tonight is enough. Ask another day.

Kayn grunts as he lays on the tree trunk, his scythe beside him. You looked at him before turning to your bag to shuffle at something, throwing an old sleeping bag in his way, he caught it with his hands. He raised his eyebrow and glanced at your way but you were already laid on the sleeping bag with your blanket, your back facing him.

His face softened, unfolding the sleeping bag and laid on it, not engulfing himself inside the fabric knowing that there are still dangers lurking in the woods.

☤

“Kayn,” you said, poking Kayn’s shoulders.

He slowly opened his eyes as he adjusted from the rising sun’s light. You sat besides his resting body, a vial in your hands. After he saw the vial, he rose up looking at you expectantly.

“Drink this, then remove your bandages after I’ll try to heal it faster.” you said, turning around to stir the pot after Kayn took the vial from you.

He removed the cork and drank the contents of the glass then started removing the bandage around his torso. Kayn waited for you, looking at your form, your arms moving from putting food into the bowl.

Turning around you handed him his serving and took your lute.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked.

You only nodded, not having the energy to talk.

You hummed, slowly but steadily strum the strings of the lute. Your hands began to glow faint green so does Kayn’s bruised torso. He could only stare at you, the bowl you gave him was untouched because of how mesmerized he was while you were healing his wound.

With the last strum you sighed, plopping yourself on the ground.

“The venom should be gone by the next few hours, you might get your strength back soon,” you breathlessly said, “Tyto found a nearby city, I think we should hit up there, he said there is a library. I should not miss it.”

You looked at him, he did not notice until now how tired you are, sweating like it was a hot summer day even though it was just morning and the day’s winds are cold and breezy.

“Did you sleep last night?” he asked, putting the bowl down.

“Yes.”

“Properly?”

“Uh… somehow.”

Kayn stood from the sleeping bag, took his cloak and grabbed your bag.

“H-Hey!” you shouted, wanting to stand up but exhaust washed over you, “At least take a sip of the soup I made? It’s not good to drink a magical medicine and leave it with an empty stomach.”

He looked at you before snatching the bowl and took a big gulp, finishing it an instant.

“We should go to the city and find an inn, I don’t trust you having a ‘proper’ rest, you could not even stand up by yourself.”

Your face turned red, suddenly you feel hot, though you did not try to stand up on your feet. You are tired. Kayn sighs, walking up to you and outstretched his hand for you to reach out. He helped you to your feet and placed the cloak over your shoulders and fastened it above your chest.

“Wait here, I’ll pack up the rest.” he said, putting your bag down and taking the things from the camp and stuffed them into your bag.

Kayn stopped, “Did you eat?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why did you look tired then?”

You sighed, “I put all of my effort removing the venom, thus I am tired. You see two big bowls there?” Kayn looked at where you were pointing at, “That’s how big I ate before I healed you. I did have a proper rest.”

“Good then,” Kayn stood, your bag on his shoulder, “Where is your owl.”

You two stared up at the sky when Tyto screeched, earning your attention. Kayn looked at you and began to walk by your side, following Tyto who is leading you to the nearest city.

The city is bustling with merchants and shops. Children screaming and running around the streets with laughter passed by you and Kayn. The assassin stuck by your side, as if he is going to lose you to the noisy crowd. Tyto was nowhere to be seen but you can feel his sharp gaze on you.

“There,” Kayn pointed, “An inn.”

He pushed through the crowd, you still by his side as the both of you walk towards the inn. With a shut of the door the noise was muffled by the wooden door and was replaced by soft clinks of glass and someone playing the drum followed by soft chatters and laughter.

“We would like to rent a room,”

“Twenty for two, sir,”

“One is enough."

Kayn placed ten coins on the shopkeeper’s counter. You gave a look at Kayn, he was not looking at you but to the shopkeeper who walked out of her counter and led the way to the room.

“Here’s your room,” she said, “Though I recommend not to be loud, especially at night, I don’t want angry customers drumming on my counter. Call me when you need anything.”

Before you could explain that she misunderstood the shopkeeper had already left and Kayn closed the door. He placed the bag on the floor and removed his cloak to reveal his bare body. You looked away before he could even catch you staring at him, walking towards the bed to sit.

“Go and rest, I’ll go outside to scout anything unusual.” Kayn said, putting his scythe behind him.

“What about you?”

“I slept and felt better than ever thanks to you,” he stopped, “You should really rest.”

After hearing an ‘okay’ from you Kayn left the room. He walked down the stairs and opened the inn’s door and stepped outside, hearing the clamorous place again. He leaned back on the wall, observing the city street. Normal he thought and very noisy . Kayn could only shake his head, if he wanted to settle down, the city would not be his fit with all of the noise coming from people and the wagon’s noise.

“Hi mister!”

Kayn looked down to see a child, about the age of six, he had a stick in his mouth and his other hand holding something, a candy.

“You look lonely,”

He gets that commentary often, he did not mind. After all, he is destined to be lonely after Zed’s death and Rhaast’s mysterious disappearance. You being his companion will be temporary, knowing after you found your people you will leave too.

“Here,” the kid stretched out his little arm, holding out the candy to him, “To keep you happy.”

Kayn took the candy from the kid, saying thank you after. The kid waved him goodbye and left. He looked at the thing, hard and somehow translucent when it’s color red.

He put the candy in his pocket and stood there for a while, until frantic claws found its way to Kayn’s bare shoulder.

“Wha—”

He turned around to see Tyto flapping his wings aggressively, small screeches coming out from his beak. Kayn can’t figure out what the owl was saying, he doesn’t have your magic to understand and talk to animals, he could only see an owl trying to scream at him.

Tyto, forgetting that Kayn can’t understand him flew over the inn’s door, pecking it frantic like something is—

“Fuck!”

Kayn opened the door, entering the inn, Tyto following him. He hurriedly took the stairs, almost tripping on one of them. Opening the door, he found you on the bed, a buff man’s arm around your neck and a mage’s hand beside your head, visible electricity running on the mage’s hands. He looked at you, your face terrified as you gripped on the muscular arm. You mouthed no at Kayn when he reached for his scythe.

“An inn,” said someone. “Not likely to be used by an assassin I’m afraid.” They came out from the shadows—no it’s not him, looking at his light armor and an obvious mark on the shoulder pads of his armor says that he is a raid leader.

He could be the one who took all your people or maybe another person. He has white hair, a bald spot on top of his head, face covered with freckles and wrinkles.

Too old

Kayn reached out for his scythe, only for the arm around you to tighten—threatening to break your neck. Kayn lowered his hand and the arms loosened around you, giving you time to breathe.

“You will get your dearest here with her severed head if you try to take a hold of your… weapon there.” the old man said as he eyed Kayn's scythe.

Kayn gritted his teeth, not knowing what to do when you are held hostage.

“Put your weapon down, slowly, kick it towards the guy in the cloak.” the man nudged his head to the left. Kayn had no choice but to slowly put his weapon down on the floor and aggressively kicked it to the person in the cloak.

The man chuckled at Kayn’s attitude, a biter, he thought.

“Zubair is my name,” said him, “and you are?”

“Is it necessary for you to know?”

“Yes, your information is helpful when it comes to shipping you out. Less work.”

“What do you want?”

“Not telling me your name?” Zubair scoffed, “Zap the healer to dea—”

“KAYN!” he screamed, earning Zubair’s attention, “Kayn is my name.”

Zubair smiled grimly, “Kayn, I see, what a beautiful name.”

“Are you going to hurt her?”

“If you do what I tell you, then she will be safe as a pet living in luxury.” Zubair turned around to face you, gripping your chin for you to face him, “It is a waste to kill off a rare breed of a descendant of ancient mages. A pretty face too.”

You winced when Zubair flicked your face to the side. You are scared, you don’t know what to do now that Kayn is unarmed and open. You don’t even know destruction magic, healing magic and healing magic only. Tears started to swell up but you tried to stop them, not wanting any of these men see your weakness, or even Kayn.

“Anyways, sack their heads, tie up Kayn and don’t let a single scratch leave on the healer. We are going now.”

Darkness engulfed your vision, the constant shuffling of cloth and metal was heard. No noise, not even from Kayn, everything is quiet. You let out a gasp when unfamiliar arms wrapped around the back of your knees and brought you up on someone’s shoulder.

With a few steps, you were placed on something wooden, and suddenly something—or someone was thrown besides you.

“Bastard.” you heard Kayn’s whisper.

“Kayn,” you called out to him with a shaky breath, “Where will they take us?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kayn, I’m scared.”

“I know,” he softly said, “I’m here, I won’t leave.”

Kayn shifted towards you, bumping his knee against yours as an attempt to calm you down. There was this warm feeling inside your chest, you could not figure out what it is, though that is the least of your problems and you two are facing a big one. What matters right now is Kayn at your side. You leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, hoping that sooner this will end.

You were woken up by a demanding voice booming in front of you. Kayn is forcefully dragged away from you, your face dropping on the wooden floor. You winced at the pain stinging on your cheek, before you could recover a hand grabbed your arm and dragged you down the wagon (or what you thought they used).

“Kayn?” you said in worry, not knowing where he is because of the sack still covering your vision.

“I’m here,” you heard his faint reply. To your demise he is far away from you he won’t be at your side as you are to be surrounded by unknown strangers.

“Walk.” a deep voice commanded you.

You did, following where the person is leading you. They stopped, their hands still tightly holding your arms, you heard a door opening and you were led again. You were forced down to sit on a soft chair, the sack removed from your head.

You were in a room, a bedroom to be specific. It is not big nor is it small, a normal room that can be used by one person. The color of dark red painted most of the room, even the sheets of the bed are dark red silk. Brown dresser beside the door and a vanity from the corner of the room where the bed is, and the floors are completely covered with velvet carpet.

“Am I supposed to be in jail?” you asked the large man leaning on the door frame.

He shaked his head, somehow he looked like you are not supposed to be here. Or somewhere worse.

“To women like you captured by Zubair, this IS prison.”

Your heart dropped, “What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t think he will care talking about him,” the man sighed,

“Zubair is a raid leader, he also takes the people he raided as slaves, some were sold off to rich people.”

“Am I going to be sold off?”

“No.”

Your heart lightened.

“What will happen to me?"

“Something not good.”

The door opened, revealing Zubair. He walked inside the room with women scarcely any clothing covering them followed behind him. Zubair stood in front of you but kept distance as the women surrounded you like pigeons flocking on little pieces of bread. They swarmed you, touching you with no permission. Gaze at your skin, your face complimenting how perfect they are, and even look at the whole of your body judgingly.

A clap stopped the women from touching you further, when Zubair flicked his wrists the women who surrounded you were out in a flash. It was only you and Zubair in the room, the bodyguard you talked to earlier was long gone, maybe was told off by Zubair when the women looked over you.

“What do you want?” you spoke, hard even you know you are scared of what will happen to you.

Zubair smiled, he stayed put, no intentions to go near you or touch you.

“Oh it’s nice to see an Ishlac again.”

Again

You felt anger bubbling inside you, “You were there—it was you.”

“Surprising isn’t it?”

“What did you do to them?” you kept yourself intact, even if you tried to attack this man your fate won’t end well.

Zubair only shrugged, “I don’t know exactly, they could be everywhere—slaves— dead .”

“What did my people even do to you?”

“Nothing really, it is my line of work. No grudges, nothing personal, just about work.”

“Selling people? Hurt them? Put them as slaves? What are you trying to achieve here?”

“None of your business.”

He walked to the door before he could go outside, Zubair looked back, his smirk not leaving his wrinkly face.

“Oh, to inform you Kayn will be shipped out tomorrow. Though I don’t give goodbyes to my employees.”

You sat on the stool, Ravika, a woman you met who is nice, paced from the vanity to you as she was doing your makeup. You shifted on your seat, uncomfortable in the clothes provided to you by Zubair himself. It was disgusting, there was barely any cloth covering you, only shining rocks hung around your skin.

“You’ll get used to it,” Ravika said after seeing your discomfort with the dress, “There, it’s finished I’ll lead you to the sofa room where he is.”

After she placed jewelry from top to your ankles, she led you to where Zubair was waiting. The gold and diamonds you wore tinkle every step you take, eyes are on you as Ravika assisted you to the sofa room.

“Ah, Kalos,” Zubair greeted. He sat on the biggest couch you’ve ever seen, you could even sleep there if you want to.

Ravika patted you on the shoulder, you gave her a nod and she walked away. This man for sure loves the color velvet, every furniture and things were in color of velvet and gold. But mostly velvet.

“Come, sit, here.” he pointed beside him.

With no choice, you obeyed, walking up to him and sat.

Please

Uncomfortable, you could only think, your attention was caught by something in front of you. It was the nightclub, neon colors filled the dim room, you tried to find Ravika only to see her serving drink for those filthy men.

“What do you want from me exactly?” you asked, so boldly.

Zubair raised an eyebrow, but answered your question nonetheless, “You are the only one left of your people, you are deemed to be a big-ticket.”

He is telling you you are worth something so much that he wants to flaunt how rich he is and how horrible of a person he is. You could only stay in silence, not wanting to have a conversation with Zubair no more. Your worries lay more on Kayn, you don’t know where he is or what they could be doing to him. You need to find a way.

As Zubair minds his own business looking over the nightclub you look around the room. Everything is decorated with expensive things, even throphy animals were hung on the wall. How cruel . You saw a jug of water placed on a glass tray with golden cups surrounding it, it was beside a metal pot. There were no guards inside or even outside the room, you know since the room has a doorway, the outside is empty.

“Say, should I pour you a drink?” you ushered, hoping that he will say yes.

He looked at you and raised an eyebrow at your action, you could only shrug at him, “Isn’t it more flashy if the last of the Ishlac is serving you?”

He smirked at your statement, “Smart, go on, I could use a drink for myself.”

You stood up from your seat, walking up to the metal pot, looking behind you making sure he was watching the nightclub. To be less suspicious you used the jar and poured wine on the cup, putting it down and reaching for the pot.

Slowly, you walked towards him, the metal in hand.

“Why are you taking a while to pou—”

Before he could fully turn around you, you smashed the pot on his head giving him a good night’s sleep. You grabbed his collar before he could fall on the floor and slowly laid him on the sofa, you placed the metal pot on the floor. Looking at his body, you turned around and ran for the doorway only to be stopped by a large figure. Your heart dropped, looking up to see the man you saw in your room earlier looking down at you.

“I—I—”

“Turn three lefts and the fifth right, you can see the dungeon where your pretty boy is.” he said, “Go, before he wakes up.”

He steped aside for you to walk out, you looked at him, shock still plastered on your face. You could only whisper a thank you and rush out of the room, not looking back.

You followed the man’s directions given to you, after entering the fifth right, dark metal gates loomed. It was open, you took a peek looking left and right if there was someone inside. You entered, trying to find the cell where Kayn is.

“Kayn?” you whispered.

“Kayn?” you said. Louder this time.

“Healer?”

You ran to the voice that seemingly called you, you never told your name to him. Grabbing on the metal bars you saw Kayn walking up to you, his face inches away from yours, the bars keeping you from him.

“I—I don’t know where the keys are.”

“No need for keys,” he still has his eyes on you, scared that you might disappear, “Take the scythe and give it to me.”

You looked at where he pointed, the scythe was laid on the brick wall, besides it was your lute. With haste, you ran to the scythe and took it. Before you could take another step towards Kayn’s cell, your hair was immediately pulled making you scream in pain, letting go of the scythe having it fall and slide on the floor, you tried to grab the hand gripping your hair.

“You dare to smash a metal pot on my head?” Zubair whispered to your ear, “You will regret that.”

You were thrown on the cold floor, knocking off your flute in the process.

He saw the lute, he smirked and took it, smashing it on the wall, green smoke emmits from the lute then it disappeared. Leaving only a dull broken lute. You could only look at the broken lute in horror, all those wood from your village, the handicraft made by both of your grandparents. Gone.

Zubair loomed over you, his hand wrapped around your neck, choking you. You tried to gasp for air as you squeezed on Zubair’s hand. His other hand started to take a hold of your clothes, you panicked, you tried to wriggle while his hand was around your neck.

You choked a cry, Zubair smiled, “You look beautiful this way.”

Disgusting

You closed your eyes and screamed, “Kayn!”

Then it was silence, the hands prying on you were gone, you heard a thump followed by a warm liquid pooling around your feet.

“Don’t open your eyes, stay here.” said Kayn, you followed what he said, in fear of what you see in front of you after you heard a loud thud earlier.

Everything was silent, though you could hear muffled thuds through the walls of the dungeon. You still have your eyes closed, followed by heavy breathing from you, you heard footsteps. It stopped when it found itself in front of you. You felt a cloth placed on your shoulders, keeping you from the cold and giving you warmth. Arms found itself around you to help you stand on your feet, you felt the warm ooze on your sole. You decided to ingore it and followed the arms that are guiding you.

“We are safe now.” Kayn whispered into your ear, “Don’t open them yet.”

You only nodded, finally knowing that you are now safe in the assassin’s arms.

“Steady your stance,” Kayn said, “Swing it towards me.”

You swung the dagger to Kayn, he easily dodges it.

“Not fair, I don’t have your skill.”

“That is why we are doing this,” he positioned himself, you could only groan in frustration.

After the incident and knowing what happened to your people, you and Kayn ventured around taking small quests or even participating in Kayn’s work and meaning by his work means him killing bandits, stealing their things and selling them. You were willing to help him, not knowing what it is, and when you knew you promised to yourself you won’t be helping him anytime soon.

He asked you what you will do now that most of your people are gone or scattered around the world. It is almost impossible for you to find them, you just told him you will be his company from now on. He was silent, of course, since you knew in your first meeting with him he was not willing to take you as his temporary company until you found out what happened to your people. You told him it’s fine if he doesn’t want you—though he cuts you off, telling you he likes your company.

Then here you are, getting trained by the assassin Kayn.

“Okay, time out, that was tiring.”

“I’ll be cooking this time then.” Kayn said, walking to your camp, leaving you in the temporary training grounds you use.

“Well at least your cooking is getting better, so go on.” you smiled, placing your dagger down on the stump and followed Kayn.

You sat on the ground, looking up at the sky. Night will soon take over.

“Hey,” you called out.

“Yeah?” Kayn replied.

“Come look at this.” your eyes never left the turning sky, colors of orange-red disperse as the darkest blue took over with glittering stars in the sky.

You heard a soft thump beside you, Kayn sat close to you.

“Beautiful,” Kayn smiled, “Reminded me of a senario that happened a few months ago.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is the same sky, same time where I first saw you in your village, playing the lute under the willow tree.” He looked at you with such intensity in his eyes, too close to each other, you were liking it. “Such a melody caught me almost in trance, before I fell.”

His face was an inch away from yours, “Hey I—”

You kissed him on the cheek, cutting him off guard. You could only look at him and smile.

“Kayn you’re too obvious, even Tyto noticed it too.” you laughed, a screech from Tyto you both heard.

“Dang bird, did he tell you?”

You nodded, he smiled.

“Well my intentions have been exposed,” he held your hand, “Then?”

“I have nowhere to go, my people are gone, some are around the world far away from me to which it is impossible to find them. You accepted me as your companion with your adventures… and as your look out when you do your assassination work. I think this is obvious too, Kayn.” you said, giving his hand a squeeze.

“More than that actually, as my—uh—parnter?”

“Of course, aren’t we already?”

“Oh,”

You could only laugh, you felt his shoulders shake, trying to prevent himself from laughing.

“Do you love me then?”

“Depends.”

“...”

“...I do.”

You smiled, placing your head on Kayn’s shoulders as you two both lay on the soft grass while looking at the starry night. Bodies cuddled together for warmth from the cold night. You liked this, no doubt Kayn too. You hoped this would last forever, forever in his arms.

#kayn #sheida kayn #league of legends x reader #league of legends #sheida kayn x reader #kayn x reader

296 notes · View notes

walls-actual-ly · 2 months

Text

omw of analyzing the chapter "oh, to watch love bloom" from my fanfic Take your pretty smile, tell them everything's fine, (breaking all my bones to sharpen your knife) especially with a focus on the depiction of Jhin and Hwei's relationship and the question if Hwei is able to consent (he is not).

(cw, discussion of pseudoincest, abuse, grooming, child abuse, incest (brief yasuyone mention), child neglect, depiction of those topics... ehhh)

The chapter is (as attentive readers might know) the first time that Hwei and Jhin actually have sex, and in his "short" analysis I want to get especially into the question whether Hwei is able to consent - and point to the way I depicted the relationship between him and Jhin in this chapter specifically.

So the first thing I noticed during a reread is that Hwei imitates Jhin in his relationship with Kayn - just how Jhin postponed having sex with Hwei to give him the space to reconsider, Hwei gives Kayn the space to think the scythe branding through.

This, in combination with their later conversation about highlights the power and influence Jhin has on Hwei. He is in control of him on so many levels, controls how he spends his time, where he spends it, but also how he interacts in relationships.

And to be fair, teaching Hwei that its important to give people space before important decisions is a good value in of itself, but it's also creates nothing but a simulacrum of consent. Because while Jhin does give Hwei space to think it through, and Hwei gives Kayn space to consider his options, that doesn't negate the obvious power imbalance between Jhin and Hwei, and Hwei and Kayn

Can Hwei (/Kayn) consent when their life depend on the approval of Jhin (/Hwei)?

And that gets even clearer (in the first part) where Hwei says (about the scarifications he has gotten from Jhin): "I also had no say in the matter. And when I was offered a choice, I was already addicted to the pain."

This makes clear how much Jhin actually groomed him - because while Hwei now thinks that he makes choices, he has been taught very specific patterns of thinking and interacting with the world. Scarring Kayn and putting his mark on his skin is one of the only ways he can think of to show his love and dedication, just how Jhin taught him to think about relationships and love.

And thats where I think using Yone's POV really made sense, because Hwei and Kayn are incredibly unreliable narrators, and ofc so is Yone to a degree, but Yone is in a place to actually point out how young Hwei, and how gruesome and horrible everything is. And while he tries to push it aside, we still get the following line (which is me speaking through yone lol):

"(He) desperately tried to not think about what he had heard. Or about scars under his fingertips, hard ridges on velvety skin and on a boy that was barely of legal age."

I think it's really easy to forget how young Hwei and Kayn actually are, mostly because they view themselves with the typical teenage hubris, "we're basically adults", and because they had to learn how to fend for themselves and carry burdens too heavy for their actual age.

But Yone is in his early twenties, he has a little brother their age who he tries to protect and shield from the horrors, and I think the contrast between "Yasuo is a teenager, he should worry about school and computer games and I adore him and will protect him" and "Kayn wakes up from nightmares about SA and murder" and "Hwei carries scars cut into his skin by his fatherfigure when he was barely more than a child and never learned that he can love someone without hurting them" is staggering and hammers home just how cruel their world is.

But on the other hand Yasuo and Yone, victims of severe emotional neglect, envy the closeness between Jhin and Hwei, which reminds us how desperate children are for any kind of love and affection.

We know that Jhin is incredibly abusive, but when Yasuo says: “‘S so cool how close you are, don’t think my ma ever even hugged me.” it highlights that Hwei still gets something from Jhin that is so much more important to him than his physical and mental safety.

To Hwei Jhin is the only person who ever provided him with a sense of belonging, made him feel seen and loved and understood, he fulfills Hwei's physical and emotional needs, and that outweighs the damage he does to him otherwise. So Hwei romanticizes and justifies the abuse, because his literal life depends on pleasing Jhin.

And Jhin is by no means nothing but a horrible monster - ok, sure, he is an abusive, grooming serial killer, but I try to show that to Hwei he is much more than this, which is why the grooming works.

As an example a bit later Hwei asks Jhin if they can leave the breakfast table, and they retreat to Jhin's bedroom where he tells Hwei about their plans for the upcoming weeks, asks him how Kayn is doing with his nightmares (indicating that they regularly talk about everything that's going on in Hwei's life). Hwei also feels save enough to say that he wants to cuddle (articulating an emotional need), and later Jhin is giving him the space to sleep on his lap, which in my opinion is showing how deep their emotional relationship goes, and how much Hwei depends on Jhin in every area of his life.

The scene is wholesome and sweet, it's appears like a rather normal situation between family members, so when Hwei wakes up eye to eye with Jhin's (clothed) erection and we learn that Jhin has casually drawn porn of (17 yr old) Hwei it just hits so much harder. And in my opinion what's worse is that Hwei doesn't seem to mind, he is treating this as a normal occurrence, looks at the porn his father figure drew off him before initiating a blowjob.

And sure, Jhin apologises, but it seems to be more about the fact that Hwei knows and not about what he did. And when Jhin says "You don't have to", Hwei says "let me, please" and Jhin responds with “Of course, take whatever you want, my Rehlein.” it is again imitating consent, placing the responsibility on the shoulders of teenage Hwei instead of on the only adult in the room.

But with all we've seen throughout the entire chapter (and even more over the rest of the story) it's clear that Hwei is a child doing what he has to in order to survive and for his needs to be fulfilled. Jhin's love for him is tied to his body in various ways, to his skills and how well he can match his expectations. There is no unconditional love, and while that doesn't mean that Jhin is aware just how much he fucks Hwei up, it still leaves him a traumatized boy who never learned that he has intrinsic value.

As some of you know Hwei and Jhin had sexual interactions before this scene, but this is the first interaction between them which actually includes an orgasm.

I was very uncertain how I wanted to write their "first time", because I pride myself on writing their relationship as rather complex and I wanted this to be reflected in their sex as well. I especially didn't want to write it as nothing but porn - it would not have fitted with the tone of the fic, but also would've forced me to ignore some of the larger issues with their relationship.

So I settled for a chapter that's like 95% character exploration, plot and dialogue, and 5% smut. And while it's certainly not the hottest smut I ever wrote I think I prefer that over a chapter where the smut was more elaborate but undermined the complexity of their relationship. I really wanted to make sure that nobody comes away from this chapter with the wrong idea, Jhin might think that he is loving Hwei and that Hwei consents to everything sexual, but Hwei is in no place to do so.

The dynamic between them is based on an incredible power imbalance, a core aspect of (17 yr old) Hwei as a character is that he has no control over his life, that he is trapped in an invisible golden cage. He doesn't even know that there is a world beyond the gates, can not imagine a life where he has even a modest degree of autonomy.

And sure, he can chose if and how he wants to have sex with Kayn, Yasuo and Yone, but again, Jhin encouraged him to go out with Kayn, and Hwei still sought his approval before the foursome.

Aldo, on that note, do you remember the two times where Hwei went to Jhin with bitemarks that his boyfriend left on him simply to make sure that Jhin allowed someone else to mark his body 😭😭😭 and then worried that his literal adoptive father didn't love him anymore because Jhin didn't freak out (beyond carving fun little cuts into his breast the first time 😭😭😭)

#jhinhwei #hweikayn #kaynhwei #hwei x kayn #Lukai #hwei #lukai hwei #hwei lol #hwei league of legends #khada jhin #jhin #analyzing my own writing #jhin x hwei #hwei x jhin #child abuse #grooming #emotional manipulation

2 notes · View notes