#just felt like i should address this

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

sorry for losing interest in wtnv it just filled me with incomprehensible horrors and the more i listened to it the less human i felt, happens to all of us amirite

#i'll get back on the night vale train eventually but i think that and tma need to take a pause for me so that i don't lose my humanity #like idk how to explain it in a way that makes sense to normal people but dissociation blah blah loss of connection to self etc etc #something something idk #just felt like i should address this #all of this is /neu #(except for kevin being annoying that was just a separate problem)

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Eugene was truly the best boyfriend. saw his girlfriend get broken up with, and immediately had a revenge glow up. Imagine being Cassandra seeing your ex girlfriend's boyfriend and he's wearing a golden choker with the just deepest v neck known to man, the world's sluttiest gloves, and a thigh garter. I'd have to give up then and there.

#Eugenes season 3 outfit you will always be famous #eugene fitzherbert #tangled the series #:v #He saw cass's hot catsuit and knew what he had to do #Also just to scream abt the series bc I just finished #absolutely crazy to me that they have set up since s1 that Eugene has pretty strong identity issues and it's never really addressed? #like s3 was low-key a mess I wish they just let cass be a villain don't have her be manipulated the entire time let her choose it at least #or like I'm fine with her being manipulated but I just felt like they didn't want to go to far with her character #and it made her feel kinda weak narratively #a lot just felt rushed #and I think we should have gotten a biiit more with eugenes identity issues #bc a lot of it in that episode was just a running joke #will say. #euegene/Rapunzel really carried that series they're relationship was the best written part #I would like cass more if they let her be a bit more unhinged #Her best moment was ''will you fight for him?'' #Like yess queen expand on that more #Need a whole episode of her kidnapping Eugene to fuck with Rapunzel #Also sorry you were worth fighting for is downright one of the most romantic lines in the whole show #Also it's so funny to me bc Rapunzel is so protective over Eugene like cass touches him and she's just #SHES MIIINE GET AWAY FROM HER IT'S NOT HER TIIIIME

[femmespoiled]

I don't want to make the fire even worse than it is, but being in love with a butch doesn't justify saying things like this.

or implying you'd only fuck us, you don't have to fuck us, you don't have to want us, you don't have to be in a relationship with us, butch4butch is beautiful in and of itself, but please don't put us femmes down, don't treat us like objects, I'm not your foreplay. The same way I wouldn't tolerate a femme talking about a butch like that. I've seen these things and felt terrible about myself, specially for being femme, for something I didn't do. It's okay to have trauma from past relationships, I have it, most people do unfortunately, but it's more about individuals than identities and it's good to remember that.

#bellas butch/femme tag #btexts #i don't want any drama i just felt shitty all day about this and it should be addressed #i dont mean anything bad to this person but please reflect on your actions and the way you come across #I don't want to be referred to as 'one of the ones' just like leave our identities out of it #butch/femme tag

[aria0fgold]

Thinkin bout my isat au now, I don't have much of an idea on it cuz tbf I barely changed anything other than well-- Odile is in pain now. Just thinking more bout scenarios that'd differ during the uhh... new loop+?????? How'd I even go about calling that new set of loops now?

Just that the most visible change would be on Odile who's now waaay more tired looking and a lil more slower than usual. So in a way her battle style becomes a lil bit like a glass cannon in that she hits HARD but takes time for her to get a hit in now. And as the loops go on, she becomes weaker on the defense department so she truly be a glass cannon. Odile also doesn't "level up" in this au too since she had already maxed her experience out, it's just that she's also slowly dying so to be fair-- Her exp is fine but her hp isn't and her lvl is being treated like a timer of her slowly approaching doom. So even if her levels lower, it won't really affect her experience and the spells she had already unlocked. To the Universe, she's still as experienced as a lvl 99 person, it's just that now she's becoming as fragile as someone lower leveled.

She retains her more powerful spells but using those spells would backfire on her and result in a recoil that ALSO hurts her, not as much as she damages the enemies, but a significant of her hp gets taken away still.

#aria rants #isat spoilers #isat au #edit: okay its all cleaned up now. everyone can look. this is why i should save to drafts first than posting immediately... #also am thinkin bout the moral dilemma with the friends now esp with mira as mira doesnt rlly Like knowing bout the previous miras #so when they eventually remember the previous loop. then i think she'd end up with a reaaaally confusing problem of #''i know what happened in the previous didnt happen now and i know you felt bad about it and i know i shouldnt be mad #about it either since im different than that mira but i also just cant help but feel hurt by it anyway but i KNOW I SHOULDNT--'' #i think everyone would have a moment of confusion on How to take in the previous loop esp with the events that happened #during act 5. everyone is hurt. but they also shouldnt be hurt cuz that event technically Didnt happen in this timeline now #but they Remember it. they remember it happened. they remember how it felt. they remember how hurtful odile's words were #they remember but they shouldnt remember it. they understand odile but they also just cant help but be hurt by it anyway #and they Dont Know what to do with that now. they remember that loop and yet now theyre in a different loop #its in a past that never exists now but They Remember and they dont know what to do about it now #just yaknow-- the dilemma of remembering a past that doesnt exist and remembering the feelings of a past thats been overwritten #cuz frankly-- how Do you tackle that dilemma? you try to address it and it feels off. you try to understand it and it still hurts #and you cant dwell on it rn either cuz other than the life and death situation of the king freezing vaugarde in time. theres odile #whose life is slowly withering away like a flower in a vase with a water that has long dried up and its now at the mercy of wilting #of gems and pages au #ogap au

[bisaster-energy]

im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...

#kuwameshi #give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like #WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU... #i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3 #based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates #i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko #kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together? #AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!! #and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro #and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them?? #as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally #not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo #anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke #but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward #planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing #and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara? #keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here? #i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him #cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he #catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch #a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko'' #and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans #you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call #kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and #yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something

[fabdante]

like idk if i was katara and i was carrying all that guilt about my moms murder and then some guy is like 'i can help you get some catharsis for that' and then everyone else started arguing with me about it i would get mad about it to asdfghjk i would probably be a little mean also

i would say some harsh things maybe

i would perhaps have a feeling or two

#i would love for a scene where the siblings have a talk post southern raiders because im sure like #it was a bit of a wake up call to sokka and like i mean they should have a bit of a talk but like #her feelings are not wrong leave katara alone sdfghjkl #honestly maybe a wake up call to both of them #with katara finally putting words to feelings she had #and sokka realizing she felt that way #and perhaps they both like need to address how they're feeling and this loss a little #and like just clear the air and touch base and all that like

[grantwilsonenjoyer]

anyways. sitting here kicking my feet trying to gather my thoughts but i never CAN bc i dont have ppl to bounce ideas off of irl and the only way i can organize my thoughts is by talking my fucking head off

#dndads s2 #i think overall i am relatively neutral on the finale #in that i think there's some stuff i think should have been resolved sooner But i think this ep did ok with at least addressing them #and then theres some stuff that just felt. idk. Unnecessary or not quite finished.. idk #i also just am not a huge fan of “oh we can just wish everyone back to life” but that is on me #see its hard bc overall i like this ep a lot. Overall i like this SEASON a lot! #there is just some character stuff that gets left behind in favor of the plot that i wish. Did not happen. But alas.

[obstinaterixatrix]

out of boredom/curiosity I read 60 eps of a webtoon. it was not good.

#orlbs #misclb #no interesting power shifts #tbh just felt really unfair and therefore kind of stupid for the li to have all these conditions/motivations and hire the mc for it #and like… not give any clear instructions whatsoever #it was clearly more atmosphere-motivated than character-motivated #and listen I can be compelled by a rancid atmosphere if it’s structurally sound yknow #or at least stupid *on purpose* #also ‘oh I’m starting to like him because he treats me so well’ no he doesn’t. stop lying. #also the author keeps using assault without actually addressing it #like even outside the main relationship #which is already pretty bad #but there isn’t really a difference between how the li treats mc and the MULTIPLE assaults #and then not actually addressing or resolving the emotional impacts #it sucks. it’s really bad actually. I should not have read 60 chapters of it #oh also the webtoon does a really irritating thing #where ALMOST every chapter has 4-6 of the previous chapter’s panels #but not always #so it’s easier to get into the habit of skipping the first few panels and then having to go back on the rare occasions it’s not a repeat #like the exact same panels the exact same dialogue #it’s padding. it’s not efficient. just cut it out tbh

[izzy-b-hands]

I get two fucking sentences in on every new draft for every new idea lately, and then my brain goes 'hm, no, actually that's stupid/boring/cloying/not going to be something you can write at your current ability'

I am. vibrating with rage at my brain rn over this bout of writer's block. Bro we literally want to die whenever I go longer than like. a fucking week without writing SOMETHING; why the fuck are you making this harder!!!!!! Just let me write a full fucking thing even if it sucks!!! but i literally physically start to feel sick and can't push myself to keep typing as soon as the above thoughts hit. I have a stupid number of untitled, barely started to almost completely done drafts, for multiple fandoms (mostly our flag tho admittedly lmao), all of which have been started within the last maybe fourteen days.

i wanna scratch my brain out of my fucking skull lmao. free to a good home after i get it out, if anyone else wants to try and rehabilitate it

#text post #everyone tells me i should be grateful that writing comes to me naturally and I am! but also sometimes it does This to me #and the longer it goes on the worse it gets #and affects the rest of my mental health on top of it all #brain pls some of these ideas are cute!!! fun even!!! others are gonna be heavier pieces but they might turn out okay!! #but we don't know if they'll turn out okay or not IF WE DON'T FUCKING FINISH THEM #god. sorry y'all just. pls know if ur waiting on me to finish something in progress ive posted or want to see something new from me #and are upset abt the current lack of stuff. i am also upset abt it and i am working on it i swear #also i need to address this bc im running out of storage space on gdocs with all of these #so they gotta either be written and posted or given up on and deleted for space fdlkafjlasdjf #it's nearly one thirty in the morning. i should probably just go shower #aka the place where my brain immediately gives me perfect fucking dialogue like last night THAT I FUCKIN FORGET BEFORE I CAN WRITE IT DOWN #it's fine. it was some of the best dialogue and most in character i felt id ever thought of. and i can't remember it and it's gone forever. #it's fine

[endlesslycoffee]

y'all love complaining tsats is GOOD

#no its not perfect #no it not groundbreaking #but it was fun! and emotional! and angsty and wholesome and heartwarming!! #i get people had very high expectations but like :/ #and half the issues people say they hace with the book... i dont really see it #i actually thought it treated childhood trauma and the different ways it can happen and affect a person beautifully #and the ending felt rewarding and also honest! like it all made sense #there are some things i thought should be addressed better but its a book it doesn't have to be perfect for me to enjoy it #but agian thats just me i guess #tsats spoilers #the sun and the stars

[thunderboltage]

unpopular opinion (apparently): i love all of the attention and love my writing gets and could never really be bothered much that it only gets likes or that people comment what they wanna?

#i do wanna point out that i get it - its always to have people reblog your stuff cause it definitely helps with visibility and such #but i cannot find it within myself to tell people DONT BOTHER because they dont?? #im blessed to even get 1 like on the silly stuff i put out there lol #i just find it so rude and a good way to dissuade people from wanting to engage at all #im doing better when it comes to commenting - whether here or ao3 - but sometimes likes/kudos are kinda just themost convenient atm #until i can find that one post addressing this i just felt the need to say it here - but i def wanna reblog it over yonder as well #its just like...man..yeah validation is nice but do you for YOU #i personally enjoy constructive criticism so yes please tell me how to improve but i also enjoy knowing you simply liked what you read <3 #something something algorithm something something empty accounts - cant really do anything about them and they dont bother me lol #i just felt the need to vent a lil bit about this - i get what people are saying but whoa it comes across very rude and mean #and now i dont want to even interact with you lol because you came across waaaay to strongly about something that wasn't that deep #anyways i should go to bed its 6 am #ami sez

[running-in-the-dark]

I just wrote all of this in the tags because I feel like my thoughts don't matter and I shouldn't make anyone read them but no, I'll write it in a post instead.

I just had a really fun realisation (that was sarcasm)

it doesn't matter what name I go by - as soon as I start associating a name with myself/identifying with it, it feels gross.

I thought it was because I associate my real name with mainly negative memories (and also because of gender stuff)

but no. even when it's something that only my friends call me, something that's only been used in a positive context. even when it's something silly like a username or tumblr url. as soon as it starts feeling like 'me' it's bad.

if I hear or read or think about any of those names/usernames, I feel nauseous. I feel afraid. I feel disgusting. the name doesn't matter because *I* am disgusting and bad.

so that's great. and I don't know what to do about it. guess I should write this down for my psychiatrist appointment (because if I don't I will forget but the problem won't go away)

no name no pronouns please pretend I do not exist 🙃

#literally it's so fucked up. my niece used my name today and I just felt this wave of disgust and like.. shame? #my friend used the name I use online and I felt like I wanted to puke. I love you please don't use my name I'm disgusting please don't #address me it'll make you realise I'm bad. somehow #the concept of me as a person is so repulsive to me that I can't think about myself without feeling like I should dig a hole and bury #myself in it #fun! I thought these thoughts were getting better for a while! but nope they're worse than ever before! please kill me haha I'm joking #but seriously this feels like torture and I don't know what I did to deserve this #I can't even be here anymore. it feels tainted. it feels like people have gotten to know me and its getting to close to the inevitable #point when you will all realise how bad and horrible I sm #this stupid website has really helped me over the years and now it feels like I am not allowed to be here anymore and i don't know how to #cope with that #anyway. I'm fine blah blah blah goodnight #personal #*too. of course I made a fucking typo because I'm bad etc

[gaylittleguys]

book musings don’t mind me

I was really so disappointed with the long way to a small angry planet. As soon as I identified WHY it was bothering me, I just started getting so annoyed I just returned it without finishing it. I didn’t want to be disappointed because I really loved the setup and the characters, and thought it had so much potential! But I really just couldn’t get over the way it was written, and the way it felt like Nothing actually happened ever, despite there being SO MANY things that were happening. It just felt like none of it mattered? Things would come up and be resolved with a neat little moral or something to say and that’s it. But I was over halfway through the book, and I don’t think I learned more about anybody than I did in the first couple chapters. It felt so devoid of any conflict or imperfection that it just wasn’t interesting lmao. There was a review that compared it to a tv show like Firefly, and Yeah. It felt like it was trying to be an episodic tv show, with fun little side adventures with the same cast, but that’s not what I want out of a book! I’d go watch a show for that!! I want a cohesive story PLEASE. There was just too many offshoots and too many side plots that I just didn’t care and none of them were interesting. Which is a shame because the world building was very compelling and I Wanted to be invested, but there was just barely any focus on the interesting plot points. I just had such a hard time with it, and I couldn’t finish it. I skimmed through the rest of the book to see if it got more interesting, but it seemed like it was just more disconnected side stories. Which was maybe the point, but it just felt like….. uninteresting. There was nothing to be invested in.

#also I hate saying this as criticism but it also felt a lot like the author just wanted to say something about [social issue] #and made something to address it #but in a way that felt very patronizing to me at least #like the characters stopping and looking directly in the camera and saying people who steal often do out of necessity and we should share #or something #frustrating. #anyway. #nothing wrong with wanting stories to be comfortable #but this was just… too comfortable. it seemed so afraid of having any conflict or having anybody be dislikable or have flaws #the only character others didn’t like was barely there #and didn’t even seem that bad. just standoffish and not social. #glad I borrowed it from the library and didn’t spend money on it lol #I’m getting so distrusting of popular recommendations #I can only take reccs from cool people with good taste now #back to reading fantasy for now. #I’m still shadowbanned here I think so I’m taking advantage of not showing up anywhere to complain

[threebetrayals]

  in light of the information we’ve been given recently regarding scara, i’m gonna do the softest of revisions of my previous name headcanon.

i was admittedly hesitant to lean into referring to him ic solely as ‘wanderer,’ but almost entirely due to this piece from his story —  “ he needs not introduce himself, for ordinary folk will never get to know him. [...] wanderer is how he believes he might be best described - he has no home, no kin, and no destination. ”  — i’ve changed my stance. for the most part, my interpretation will go by ‘wanderer’ in threads set after the events of chapter three. the one exception is those he’s particularly close with; they will have the option of using ‘kunikuzushi’ as per my old headcanon, if only for a name to refer to him by. they alone are allowed that bit of intimacy, of referring to him by the closest he’s had to any real name.

#we really be out here retconning & revising headcanons siGH #anyway atm this pretty much only applies to goose's kazuha but like. you know. #i felt i should at least address it now that i've changed my mind lmao #tbh i'm kinda just glad my interactions post-chpt 3 have been limited bc i was worried about all this lmao #i knew more info would come out & i'd have to change so much ugggghhhh #“ ━━ ◤ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ɢᴏᴏᴅ/ᴛᴀꜱᴛᴇꜱ ɢᴏᴏᴅ/ɪᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴛ ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ ; headcanon. ◢

[lucemxnox]

today's class just reaffirmed that some people REALLY should never be teachers, especially in k-12 education. dude fully was just incredibly disrespectful, rude, and argumentative during a roundtable discussion, cut people off multiple times, and directed his anger at me and another classmate strongly that it made the class all uncomfortable. if you can't handle a simple discussion without blowing up in anger, how the hell can you teach students whose identities you don't support? how will you handle any POC kids in your class if you blow up in a GRAD SCHOOL CLASS including at THE PROFESSOR stating his beliefs that historic racism strongly contributes to issues today in politics? and you wanna teach history????? to KIDS??? just freaking wild dude.

#i was STRONGLY uncomfortable at this cis straight white dude who is huge directing a lot of his anger at me #all bc i said a lot of ppl who personally know this candidate dont like him and he got OFFENDED because that was his friend? #dude i clearly wasnt talking about you???? stop trying to say im lying when im stating an opinion and so are you? #he went off the rails tonight in class im thinking of emailing the prof to state how uncomfortable i felt #again he was DIRECTLY addressing anger at me and this other kid in class very aggressively and it was very scary to experience #i cant IMAGINE how his future students will feel #just cause you went to law school doesnt mean you can teach #it just means hes gonna make kids scared of history when we should want the opposite #tbd

[lux-scriptum]

a lot of the suggestions left on my resume make sense but dear god,,,, its been two (three?) years since I dropped out i dont remember how many credits i may or may not have completed? especially since i failed so many classes that last year.

#just goes to show that a) i needed help with my mental health #and b) WHEN ONE GETS DIAGNOSED WITH SEVERE ADHD PERHAPS WE SHOULD MEDICATE FOR THAT INSTEAD OF ADDRESSING THE DEPRESSION FIRST #im just saying that once i no longer felt like a failure of a person for not being able to focus #i got less depressed #sure there's other things causing it but it got soooo muchmore manageable when the only self hatred came from parental trauma and not #like #me functioning (or not as it were)