#lick my listicles

[chansaw]

on red and blue symbolism in heathers: an essay

i read one of those buzzfeed listicles the other day that was like “crazy fun facts and secrets about your favorite 80s movies!” and one of the first fun facts was “did you know that in heathers, every character is associated with a color?” that’s not a fun fact. it’s not even a secret. heathers is a lot of things but one thing it’s not is subtle. heathers practically beats the viewer over the head with color symbolism but in this essay, i would particularly like to draw attention to the colors red and blue and their significance in heathers’ narrative.

a short preface: when possible, i cite stills sourced from the movie itself. some images, however, are served better by the gif format, so whenever i post a gif i will also cite the tumblr user who made it. if your gifs are used in this post and you would like me to remove them, please let me know.

okay, with that out of the way, let's start at the beginning (naturally). below is the title card. right away, the cinematographers inundate the viewer with red, informing the viewer that red (and whoever wears it) will be significant to the narrative.

red represents the social order and the natural hierarchy of predators and prey at westerburg. red is omnipresent throughout the production design of the school's campus.

by assuming the color of the school itself, heather chandler assumes control of the school. and when she drags veronica along to the remington party to help boost their reputation, the whole dorm is bathed in red light.

when we first meet veronica, she's wearing gray and black, with only occasional pops of blue (the brooch in the outfit above, her croquet mallet, etc) but as veronica's discomfort and unease begins to grow, something interesting begins to happen!

blue light slowly begins to creep into the frame, and once veronica has finally had enough of brad's bullshit, it becomes even more prominent. just as red represents control of the social hierarchy, blue symbolizes discontent and rejection of the social order.

(gif by @/fireairshadow)

meanwhile, heather chandler isn't having a great time at the party either. this scene is the only time in the film we see heather chandler completely alone, in a moment of vulnerability and self loathing, and she's surrounded by the color blue.

(gif by @/tibby ily tibby)

and then all hell breaks loose. i honestly dont think one image or gif alone can do this scene justice so im linking to tibby's (beautifully colored) gifset of the scene.

note how as veronica declares war ("lick it up, baby!"), red and blue lights flicker across her face. and as heather promises to ruin veronica in turn, the red light casts heather's face in shadow and overpowers the blue.

of course, heather never gets the chance to make good on this promise because veronica and jd kill her. and that may have been a mistake, but the color of their poison is quite deliberate.

(gif by @/nowadayz)

and right before she dies, she takes off her red scrunchie - conceding her control.

of course, heather's death doesn't mean her exit from the narrative. red lingers throughout the rest of the film. but guess what color veronica wears to the funeral?

tumblr is a little bitch and i dont have the time or energy to expound upon the rest of my argument at the moment. it's probably been examined and analyzed in greater detail by people smarter and far more eloquent than me. but i'll conclude with veronica's reclamation of the red scrunchie at the end of the film. you could choose to interpret this as veronica conceding to the hierarchy even after all she's been through, but i choose to interpret it as a bitter compromise.

(gif by @/nowadayz)

and so it ends the way it begins.

anyways all this to say vote for chansaw in the @redandbluebracket tomorrow or i'll kill you.

ETA: a note to anyone who came to my blog from this post - hi! you don’t have to like chansaw romantically/as a ship. im not expecting to proselytize and convert people en masse (although if you HAVE been converted, welcome). even without the shipping element, i believe that veronica and hc’s dynamic as character foils is the backbone of the narrative, which is why i genuinely think they deserve to win the red and blue bracket. vote here. my name is heather chansaw and i approve this message.

#i have a fucking migraine

[veritasrose]

Was so exhausted that I bailed on D&D tonight. But now that I’ve been trying to sleep I realize how painful my shoulder feels and also I am pretty sure I have a mild eye infection from wrex licking my freakin eyeball when I was reading yesterday morning.

At least i have edibles to enjoy and listicles to read

#veritasrose rambles #i love lists so much that the hubs calls me alyssta #and i know getting high on a friday night just to read trivia lists is super nerdy #but i am okay with that

[sykesplaining]

Biden is Democrat Trump

1. He antagonizes the news media

When he is asked questions, he becomes bristled and lashes out. He can barely form coherent arguments against the journalists charged with questioning his policies or actions.

2. He is the hardline Party candidate

He cannot reach out across party lines. He will fracture this divided country even further.

3. He has no policy

He has no plan to unite both sides nor a vision for a better future. He's in it for himself and his party.

4. He molests women

He is a well-known sexual offender. He touches women without their consent. He approaches women’s personal space and touches them in sensitive areas.

5. He is a bumbling buffoon

He makes gaffes and sentimental comments (ranging from the outrageous to the nonsensical) that, whenever he holds office, lands him squarely on the corporate media news cycle on a weekly basis. The cause for this is the following:

6. He has mentally checked out

Being in his mid-late 70s, he probably has some neurodegenerative disease, like Alzheimer's disease or dementia. His opponents should rightly attempt to invoke the 25th Amendment on him to remove him from the office of the Presidency as he’s evidently shown mental inability to govern.

7. He has the bourgeois, white, and boomer votes

The youth largely hate him and despise the lack of policy on educational reform, college debt and Medicare 4 All. He likewise has less empathy for young voters than old voters. The working class are more or less apathetic to him, just another coastal city suit.

8. He will, despite having the boomer vote, ironically keep healthcare expensive and inefficient

Again: He is not for Medicare For All or the Green New Deal. His COVID policy will not bandage the gaping wound the pandemic has left on the country medically and economically above all.

9. He has a checkered past on racial issues

He uses identity politics to curry favor with his base. He makes "gaffes" which end up played on the news night after night which draw controversy yet he's proven himself “uncancellable”.

10. He made trade deals that are bad for the American people

He personally benefited from jobs being shipped overseas, and when given the chance, refused to bring them back. He is not for the Green New Deal or any thorough reform, because Wall Street can be safely reassured that nothing will fundamentally change under him.

You noticed, didn't you? I only used the singular pronoun to refer to both men. Joe Biden is Democrat Trump. I rest my case.

#biden 2020 #trump 2020 #biden is democrat trump #lick my listicles #2020 election #political memes

[five-miles-over]

Joaquin Phoenix Characters as Cupcakes

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

Characters in this List: Theodore, Arthur, Joker, Doug Holt, Doc Sportello, Freddie, Charlie, Johnny Cash, Max, Merrill, Abbé, Jimmy Emmett, and of course, Emperor Commodus.

Theodore Twombly from “Her”: Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

Red is a color frequently worn by Phoenix’s character in this romantic science fiction film, and his operating system is red too. So naturally, his cupcakes would adopt his signature color. Plus, red velvet is a flavor popularly served on Valentine’s Day (not that it isn’t popular during the rest of the year), so it would be great for the loving, hopeful Theodore.

Arthur Fleck from “Joker”: Vanilla Funfetti Cupcakes

This is basically your typical yellow cake baked with brightly colored, edible decorations (known as sprinkles, jimmies, or hundreds-and-thousands). The frosting is standard vanilla and topped with even more sprinkles - hence it earns the name funfetti. (It’s like edible confetti - fun, right?)

They would certainly entertain the inner child in Arthur. The bright colors would excite him, and they’d remind him confetti at a child’s birthday party. He’d have so much fun decorating the cupcakes, too.

Joker from “Joker”: Banana Split Cupcakes

These cupcakes may look like yellow cake, but they are so much more. The banana flavor is a match for the one who certainly drives Gotham bananas with his chaotic plans and antics.

And just like how Joker may look like any other clown, these cupcakes are good at masquerading like an ice cream sundae. At first sight, you’d be totally thrown off.

Doug Holt from “Inventing the Abbotts”: Strawberry Shortcake Cupcakes

Just like his character in “Inventing the Abbotts”, Doug Holt makes for a refreshing presence onscreen - he’s cute, genuine, and kind. (Just like a strawberry!) And for a film representing American in the 1950′s, what better dessert to mimic than the classic American summer treat?

Doc Sportello from “Inherent Vice”: Matcha Cupcakes with Black Sesame Topping and Mascarpone Cheese filling

I think of all of the members on this list, Doc Sportello would be one most excited to try new flavors. The cool yet earthy green tea infusion in this cupcake would totally complement the buttery melt-in-your-mouth feel of the mascarpone cheese. And the sesame seeds would add a nice texture difference with a unique flavor. Certainly, it would appeal to the all-natural, organic preferences Doc has. 

Freddie Quell from “The Master”: Coconut Rum Cupcakes

As someone who likes mixing concoctions to form alcoholic “cocktails”, Freddie would certainly like his cupcake to bring a little buzz. The coconut flavor would be somewhat nutty but also slightly sweet. And it might be great for Freddie, who’s been overseas during his time in the armed forces.

Charlie Sisters from “The Sisters Brothers”: Maple Bourbon-Infused Cupcakes with Maple Frosting and Bacon Bits.

Just like Charlie himself, this cupcake is a little salty on the outside, with the bacon crumble topping, but also somewhat sweet with the maple syrup. Also, maple syrup is known to be quite sticky - just like many of the situations Charlie gets himself into. (I can imagine he wouldn’t complain with all the bourbon in this cupcake too)

Johnny Cash from “Walk the Line”: Pineapple Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. 

My original idea was to choose a Black Velvet cupcake with cherry filling for the Man in Black, but this pineapple cupcake pays tribute to one of his favorite dishes (as told by his son John Carter Cash) - pineapple pie. It was made with a standard dough-based pie crust and  a pineapple and cream cheese filling, hence the cream cheese frosting. Although, to add a Southern touch to this, these cupcakes could also be served with a candied pecan crumble on top.

Max California from “8 MM” : Devil’s Food Cake Cupcake with a Boozy Cherry Filling

As Max himself says, “If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.” So to pay homage to his quote, obviously his cupcake would be the Devil’s Food cake (it’s just a really moist chocolate flavor). The filling would be made with chopped cherries immersed in sweet vermouth  (wine spiked with brandy), and the cupcake would be topped with whipped cream and chocolate chips.

Also, is it just me or would Max totally make a joke about “popping the cherry” every time he eats these?

Merrill Hess from “Signs”: Chocolate M&M Cupcakes with a Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Filling

These cupcakes would certainly be great for Merrill - he’d appear to be a guy’s guy on the outside, but on the inside he’s not afraid to do seemingly nutty things (wearing tin-foil on his head?) and is extremely sweet with kids (hence the marshmallows). Also, the M&M’s add color to the mainly uniform cupcake, just like Merrill’s expressions add color to this film. 

Given the amount of sugar (and artificial coloring), they were probably made for either Bo’s or Morgan’s birthdays and Uncle Merrill just happened to like them more than the kids did. His favorite part is pulling these cupcakes apart and watching the gooey peanut butter and marshmallow filling spill.

Abbe de Coulmier from “Quills”: Lavender Vanilla Sponge Cupcakes with a Lemon Elderflower Frosting.

Abbé de Coulmier is an incredibly soft and kind person - it only makes sense his cupcake would be just as fluffy as him. The infusion of lavender in the vanilla sponge would delight him, and he might have one of these with a cup of tea in the afternoon. Though, he’d certainly be mindful of his consumption, remembering perfectly well that gluttony was one of the Seven Deadly Sins. 

Most times, he’d desire for the frosting to be removed and instead ask for powdered sugar to be put instead. (The powdered sugar was a compromise after being annoyed by the chef. He was not happy when the chef kept shouting about a “naked cupcake”.) Although, perhaps on special occassions, the frosting would stay and he’d relish the light, citrus-floral flavor.

Jimmy Emmett from “To Die For”: Snickers Cupcakes

Based off of the popular candy bar, Snickers cupakes are usually made with a chocolate cupcake, peanut butter frosting, and a rich caramel sauce with chopped candy bars as garnish. 

They’re perfect for Jimmy, who certainly liked candy bars and can usually be found snickering while he’s zoned out in his own world.

Emperor Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus from “Gladiator”

As always, I saved the best for last, and since I couldn’t decide on simply one cupcake I came up with three different ones for our Emperor. 

(Impartiality? I don’t know her.)

Choice 1) A Red Wine Dark Chocolate Cupcake with Raspberry Amaretto Frosting and Raspberry Drizzle (top left)

Emperor Commodus likes to go all out when throwing lavish games or hosting extravagant parties. So this cupcake is a perfect match, with the rich flavors of red wine, brandy (from the amaretto), raspberry, and dark chocolate all coming together in a decadent ensemble. 

Also, the raspberry drizzle totally looks like blood spilling in the Colosseum.

Choice 2) A Honey Cake with Whiskey Frosting and a Whiskey-Infused Honey Drizzle (top right)

Even though whiskey is definitely not a liquor I’d associate with Emperor Commodus, the cupcake certainly serves as a break from all the chocolate. (Do you think he’d even like chocolate? Comment below, please!)

The main reason this cupcake is here is because honey cakes were around during the Roman Empire. Also, the drizzle...can you imagine Emperor Commodus repeatedly spilling some of the alcohol-infused honey on his cheeks and asking his servant/concubine to lick it up for him? Or making his concubine suck the sticky honey from his fingers?

Choice 3) A Chocolate Hazelnut Fererro Rocher Cupcake (bottom)

This cupcake is mainly here because the golden wrapper totally suits the opulence of a Roman emperor. Also, in one of my previous listicles I paired Emperor Commodus with chocolate hazelnut gelato - thought I’d continue the trend. Plus, the smoothness of the hazelnut perfectly represents the silky tone of Commodus’s voice.

#joaquin phoenix #commodus #emperor commodus #her movie #theodore twombly #merril hess #signs movie #gladiator 2000 #doc sportello #inherent vice #freddie quell #the master #doug holt #inventing the abbotts #jimmy emmett #to die for #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #joker #max california #charlie sisters #abbe de coulmier #quills #quills movie #walk the line #johnny cash #joaquin phoenix films

[tisfan]

The Right Girl

Word count 1492

 01 - Handjob Tags: Handjob, shower sex, mental health, unhealthy coping mechanisms, Steve punches things a lot, anti-Ellen DeGeneres  Couple: Steve Rogers/Jessica Jones (Man with an Alias)

Takes place in the Communal Kitchen AU

Steve was exactly where she’d expected him to be. Jessica Jones could say one thing about her boyfriend, Steve Rogers, and that was that he was fairly predictable.

She leaned against one of the concrete pillars that held the roof of the gym up and watched Steve whale the hell out of a super-soldier punching bag. His hips moved in perfect time with his jabs, and his ass did the most adorable little bounce every time he hit. Jessica knew that everyone thought Tony Stark had the best ass in the Avengers -- it came up from time to time in those ridiculous listicles -- but Jessica was going to have to respectfully disagree.

That was America’s ass, right there, that was.

She held her hands up with double Ls to frame it.

“Take a picture,” Steve suggested, not speaking up to be heard. He knew she was there, had known it the whole time, probably. “It’ll last longer.”

“Rather just get my hands on it,” Jessica said, coming up behind him.

He punched the bag one more time and then held out his hand flat to make it stop swinging. “Did you need something?”

Jessica didn’t wince, or pause. She already knew this was going to be bad. “Want to talk about it?”

Steve gestured at the punching bag. Does this look like my talking face?

Jessica barreled on ahead, because she never knew how to shut up, really. She was broken in all the right places to lean against Steve’s broken bits. “So, what happened?”

It was supposed to be a fluff piece; not quite talk show, live in front of a studio audience, because after the debacle with Steve saying Ellen was friends with a war criminal and therefore just as bad, their PR team never let Steve do anything aside from ribbon cutting ceremonies that couldn’t be edited later.

Steve wasn’t even allowed to do commencement speeches, which always seemed to shock people and Jessica never understood why. Did they not realize who Steve was?

Well, no, they didn’t. They had some ultra-white conservative Captain America on their boner and never realized that wasn’t the same person at all. It had taken Jessica about three hours to realize Steve wasn’t Captain America. And she didn’t consider herself to be the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree, so what the fuck was up with other people?

“They had an interview with Peggy,” Steve said. “She was having a good day, I guess. Talked a little about us… and that stupid thing with Howard and my jealousy. And then the reporter turned the video on me and asked me what I thought Peggy would say about my being--”

“With me?”

“Yeah.”

“So, are we going to have to pay damages?” Jessica moved a bit closer and rested her head against his sweaty back, listening to him breathe. She was as strong as he was, and it always astonished her that he was so much bigger than she was. Show off.

“I didn’t break anything,” Steve admitted, sounding cranky about it.

“Is that why you’re down here?”

“Yes-- no. I-- I’m with you,” Steve said. “Peggy and I… I mean, we never knew if anything was gonna happen, you know? There was a war, and we were busy. It might not ever have come to anything, if we’d both lived to come home.”

Privately, Jessica doubted that. Peggy Carter had been the love of Steve’s fucking life. She was always going to be second to that, and she told herself she didn’t mind, that it was okay, she had him now anyway--

“Peggy moved on with her life,” Steve said, “which is what’s supposed to fucking happen, and I’m not jealous of her husband or her kids, or her grandkids or her fucking horse farm in England.”

After more than a year together, Jessica would have supposed she’d have gotten used to Steve cursing, but she wasn’t. There was always a little elicit thrill to listening to Captain America with a fucking potty mouth.

“But you’re still mad?”

“It’s disrespectful,” Steve said, “to you. You’re not second choice, or someone I’m settling for. I love you. And I don’t see why that’s anyone else’s business but ours.”

Jessica pressed her face against his damp tee-shirt. Steve loved her. She knew he did, but that didn’t keep it from being amazing, every single time. “I swear to God,” she muttered into his skin, “that I could jerk you off on national television, and they’ll still put you and Peggy’s pictures together. It doesn’t matter, cowboy. We’re together.”

Steve turned around and tipped her chin to make her look up at him. He was slightly flushed, a little sweaty, and stupidly gorgeous as always. “You could do it now,” he suggested, and that flush got darker.

“Do-- ohhh,” she said. “Well, I suppose it is another way to destress.”

“Not-- not because of them, you know. I--”

“You love me, and Peggy is old news and you need to prove it to your dumb brain before you can move on with your life, no, I get it completely.”

Steve slumped just a little, as if in relief that he didn’t have to use his words like an adult, and if Jessica hadn’t been so cross with the magazine fuck-nuggets who thought this sort of thing was okay, she might have teased Steve a little about being too immature to ask for a handie when he wanted one.

“Come on, cowboy, let’s hit the showers,” Jessica suggested, because Natasha’s wrath was mighty when she walked in on people having sex in public areas. 

Jessica stopped by her locker to pick up some of the soft joggers and tees that the cleaning ‘bots left for people to change into after workouts. Everyone in the tower had several sets, they were all color coordinated for their armor colors. Tony was ridiculously silly about that, and everyone wore them, so it made Tony happy.

Jessica grabbed the pale grey tee and purple pants. “One of these days, I feel like telling Tony Stark that my favorite color is, in fact, pink.”

Steve blinked. “It is?”

“No, but he’d make an even more ridiculous face than you are right now, so I might do it anyway,” Jessica admitted.

Steve shucked out of his sweaty, filthy workout clothes, and Jessica was only a little behind him, because she tended to wear skinny jeans, and she did not tend to appreciate Steve ripping them off her, unless it was a very special occassion. 

Steve had the spray going full blast, boil-a-lobster, she slid in behind him, hand reaching around his hip. 

“Seems like I should be doing you,” Steve said, almost apologized, and she gave him a little squeeze to stop that line of thinking.

“I’ve seen your refractory period, cowboy,” Jessica said. “You can do me a few times later. Let’s just rub one out and get you feeling a little less murdery.”

“So romantic,” Steve grumbled, laughing a little.

“You want romance, you got the wrong girl,” Jessica said. She got her hand around Steve’s girth -- he was so fucking thick, and even though she had long fingers for a woman, she really could not wrap her entire hand around it. But it was close enough, and she had a pretty good angle behind him. She stroked, up and down, twisting her palm to put pressure in just the right places.

“I think I got exactly the right girl,” Steve protested, and if he ever did replace Peggy in his heart with her, it was when their relationship was just like this, earthy and filthy and hot and sweaty and sexy. All the times he’d taken her to bed and all the times she’d cooped a feel under the dinner table with the entire family of Avengers. All the times he’d saved her, and all the times she’s saved him.

And if she couldn’t replace Peggy in his heart, well, it really didn’t matter, did it? Peggy was ninety some years old and on a good day, sometimes she’d recognize Steve. And sometimes she didn’t. Closure was overrated, and it wasn’t like Peggy Carter wasn’t a legend in her own right.

“You’re thinking too loud, sugar,” Steve said. 

She twisted her hand again and Steve groaned, pushing into it, fucking up into her fist, his hips snapping powerfully.

She nipped at his back, licking along his spine and then nuzzling right between his shoulder blades, and then Steve was coming against her hand, dick pulsing against her palm. 

“Sometimes I think you’re going to be like Superman and come bullets right through the wall or something.”

Steve cracked an eyelid open reluctantly and looked at the tiles. “Nope, still no speed of light orgasms,” he reported.

“Well, that’s good,” Jessica said. “Feel better?”

“A little more relaxed,” Steve said. “Give me a second, I’ll--”

“Give me my turn?”

“Yeah, that.” 

#jbbKinktober2020 #communal kitchen au #Steve Rogers/Jessica Jones #lemons

[theheroichydrangea]

TAGGED BY: @aahaanaa and wow! I haven’t done an ask/tag game in forever RULES: answer 21 questions and tag 21 some people 1. Nickname: I don’t really do nicknames- sometimes people refer to me as just “E” in text messages  2. Zodiac: Scorpio  3. Height: 5′7″  4. Hogwarts House: Gryffindor 5. Last thing I googled: “how to move things out of a shared drive” for my teaching portfolio  6. Favorite musicians: Taylor Swift, Florence + the Machine, Lorde, Maggie Rogers, Fall Out Boy, Hozier, Alannis Morisette 7. Song stuck in my head: the world’s most annoying rendition of Jingle Bell Rock that was playing in Ulta the other day 8. Following: 345 9. Followers: 839 (I joined Tumblr in 2011 though so that’s like 8 years worth of porn bots) 10. Do you get asks: Not often since the messaging system came about  11. Amount of sleep: uh like 7-ish hours- one of my classes finals got scheduled at 8 am this morning 12. What are you wearing: Fleece lined leggings and an oversized sweater from one of the schools I teach at + thick socks 13. Dream job: Listicle and weird essay writer  14. Dream trip: I’d love to go back to Paris  15. Instruments: Flute but not since high school 16. Languages: English and some French  17. 10 favourite songs as of now: Cruel Summer- Taylor Swift Undrunk- FLETCHER Piece of Me- Britney Spears Okay Okay- Alessia Cara Call Off Your Ghost- Dessa Ribs- Lorde Don’t Carry it all- The Decemberists Volcano Girls- Veruca Salt Old Eden- Honeywater The Bones- Marren Morris and Hozier  18. If you were an animal: Cat for sure though idk if I’d be a large cat or like a house cat 19. Favourite food: any form of custard with caramel/caramelized sugar 20. Random fact: I can lick my elbow 21. My aesthetic: floral patterns that look like wallpaper, pastels and muted colors, oversized sweaters, ballet flats, piles of books and papers everywhere, lipstick stained coffee mugs 

This was fun but most of my friends have left tumblr for twitter and I don’t even know who to tag anymore!!! 

[lichfucker]

just saw somebody on facebook share some buzzfeed listicle abt like people eating food wrong and they commented “I bite my ice cream lol licking it makes me look gay”

okay

#bluh bluh #food //

[bronasourus]

Answer all of them

Momma didn’t raise a bitch so here you go @jdongle

1. Favourite colour. Orange 
2. Number of people you’ve slept with.I don’t count the ones I have done but 2 
3. Cake or ice cream? Ice cream 
4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? The power to have the exact amount of money in my pocket for any purchase 
5. Ever been in a fist fight? Yes and I won c:
6. Do you live in the country or the city? Sin city
7. Biggest kink? Just talk to me really 
8. Favourite video-game? Street fighter 
9. Words you live by? Just go with the flow
10. Best book you’ve ever read? Hunger games because those are the only books I read fully. Probably game of thrones if I finished them 
11. Favourite film? Either zombie land or Shawn of the dead 
12. Horror or romance? Horror 
13. Biggest fear? Oceans 
14. Best memory? My best bud and me hanging out 
15. Worst memory? My relationships 
16. Where are you from? Vegas 
17. Ever done anal? Haha no 
18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? Idk
19. Favourite outfit? My sweat shorts and a tank top 
20. Snapchat or Instagram? Snap 
21. If you could freeze time what would you do? Cut all the lines at Disney world 
22. Best LUSH product in your opinion?Uh the handsoap?
23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? You do you boo 
24. Favourite television character? Gon from HunterxHunter 
25. Do you have a nemesis? Nope everyone likes me I think 
26. Are you a hard-worker? Absolutely 
27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? July 4th where I just watched all the awesome fireworks 
28. What’s your dream? To live happily 
29. Where do you see your life ending up? In the ground 
30. Describe your last sexual encounter. No
31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Cake
32. Ever done drugs? Yes
33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? Neither 
34. Are you a jock or a nerd? I’m a Jers
35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? 17.89 
36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? Neither 
37. Favourite trashy television show? Bobs burgers 
38. Last time you watched porn? Like three days ago 
39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? Yes…
40. Weirdest dream you ever had? My family ate corn and turned into dinosaurs 
41. Ever had mental health issues? Yes
42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? You’re just right for me 
43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? Nope I like being unnoticed usually unless I’m talking to you 
44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? Nope I love everyone pretty much 
45. Dog person or cat person? Both 
46. Sneakers or heels? Sandals 
47. Favourite cocktail? Don’t drink 
48. Day or night? Day
49. Pokémon or Digimon? Pokémon 
50. How big is your dick? Don’t worry about it 
51. Favourite musical? Cats? 
52. Favourite song? Living single by big Sean 
53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? A bisexual 
54. Why are you like this? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
55. What’s your guilty pleasure? A thousand miles 
56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? 🙈🙈🙈
57. What’s the story behind your URL? It’s just a URL 
58. Tell me something that worries you. Too much haha 
59. What have you been worrying about today? A wedding 
60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. Oh my 🙈🙈
61. Hot dogs or burgers? The desert table 
62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? I play PS4 the most 😓
63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? Naruto
64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? I love him and her lots (have two best buds) 
65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I am scared everyday of my life 
66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty ‘til it’s all red? If it’s the right person maybe >_> 
67. Favourite Tumblr couple? Idk
68. Do you have any dietary quirks? No
69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Maybe
70. How old are you? 20 almost 21
71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? How much of a sim character are you 
72. Do you have any pets? Yeah her name is marina and she’s my chatty cat :) 
73. What colour underwear are you wearing? Light blue 
74. Boxers or briefs? Trunks 
75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? No?
76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Parks and recreation
77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? Probably be the first infected one 
78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? Sometimes both 
79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? YES
80. Which country has the best flag? RUSSIA 
81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? Nope 
82. Most overrated food? Deep fried twinkies 
83. Most overrated film? La la land 
84. Most overrated television show? 13 reasons why ( I haven’t watched it though) 
85. Most overrated type of cheese? Guda
86. Which brand would you never shop at? Anything in hot topic 
87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Courage 
88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? Time 
89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? A pineapple 
90. What present do you wish someone would give you? Another pineapple 
91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Don’t worry about it c: 
91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Idk haha
92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. It’s okay ☺️😘
93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? Either is fine 
94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? Answer n/a
95. What is your spirit animal? An otter 
96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Sickle 
97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid? No :(
98. What makes you super nostalgic? Working out 
99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like ‘yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) I’m answering them all so yes
100. What’s your favourite cocktail? Don’t drink 
101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? ???
102. Laptop or PC? Pc
103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? Whom ever I find attractive 
104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? Absolutely not
105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. No haha
106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? I don’t like hair dye but probably dark purple 
107. What would you change about your body if you could? Everything 
108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? Cold
109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? When I actually orgasm 
110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? Unicorn
111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid? Bosly 
112. What was your favourite class at school? Math
113. Are you superstitious? No
114. What do you think happens when we die? You die
115. Pie or pi? Pi
116. Your followers a question. How are you guys
117. Lick my genitalia. Yes
118. What’s your favourite number? 7
119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? Yes
120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Meh
121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I am a fluff ball
122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? Anything with zombies
123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Young
124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. Idk so I can die most likely 
125. I hope you enjoyed these questions.
 I did 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? @jdongle because he told me to do this. He’s amazing

#get to know me

[hesitanthero]

i guess ill post this then.....

1. Favourite colour: Green. But not like a shitty green. 2. Number of people you’ve slept with: 3.5 3. Cake or ice cream? cake 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Sarcasm. or something equally as useless. like being indecisive.  5. Ever been in a fist fight? with my brother.  and this one time i accidentally hit this girl in the head with my elbow..  6. Do you live in the country or the city? city. 7. Biggest kink? uhhhhhhhh 8. Favourite video-game? mario kart 64 9. Words you live by? “fuck bitchez; get money.”  jk. “I am the architect of my own destruction”  10. Best book you’ve ever read? Ender’s Game or Speaker for the Dead 11. Favourite film? i… can’t.. choose just one…. Fox&Hound, Blade Runner, Fight Club and probably like 12 more 12. Horror or romance? Horror 13. Biggest fear? Clowns. Or Indoor Spiders.  14. Best memory? I have a bunch. But driving up to my cottage with my dad is always a good time. Listening to all the music he hates and me terribly singing it all to him.  15. Worst memory? Aside from the obvious shitty things.. probably when Angela friend broke up with my on my birthday. OR when Andy wouldn’t let me come over to his backyard to play when I was 5 and i just cried at our backyard border line while him and his brothers sang “No Girls Allowed” . fuckin. rude.  16. Where are you from? not here nor there. 17. Ever done anal? mhm 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? …..Pardon? 19. Favourite outfit? Black on Black on Black on Black. 20. Snapchat or Instagram? Instagram 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? probably pants a lot of people. But freezing time seems like a pretty lonely power.  22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? probably some sort of soap. 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? red shirts i guess? wtf is this. 24. Favourite television character? Robin Scherbatsky. Spinelli. Octavia Blake. 25. Do you have a nemesis? not really 26. Are you a hard-worker? depends what im doing i guess 27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Paris was dope AF. 28. What’s your dream? probably something weird that doesn’t make sense like the rest of my dreams. ;)  29. Where do you see your life ending up? dead. 30. Describe your last sexual encounter.  uhhh…. no sleep. pretty great. only 1 new bruise. she cute. 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? cake. 32. Ever done drugs? NEVER 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? probably somewhere in the middle. 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? 18.6498475.  36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh. 37. Favourite trashy television show? most things i watch.. the 100, Wynnona Earp, The OC, Shot at Love with Tila Tequila…  38. Last time you watched porn? does scrolling through tumblr count because like.. an hour ago..  39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? not really 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? HA. They’re all weird. But this one time when i was really little I had a dream that my house was being attacked by acid monsters/ aliens and everything they touched melted. and one by one they melted all my family members until I was the only one left and i had a sword and then i woke up before i got melted.  41. Ever had mental health issues? plenty.  42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? 42 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? god no. 44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? yes. 45. Dog person or cat person? both 46. Sneakers or heels? Sneaks. 47. Favourite cocktail?  Negroni 48. Day or night? night 49. Pokémon or Digimon? DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE!!!! 50. How big is your dick? like. 8/10 on rotten tomatoes. 51. Favourite musical? Rocky Horror  52. Favourite song?  sunday candy atm.  53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? android probably.  54. Why are you like this?  because my mom ruined my life when i was a dramatic teen. 55. What’s your guilty pleasure?  Shitty TV shows with terrible acting and scripts.  56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? i love you toooooooo 57. What’s the story behind your URL? i got bored of like 4 other ones. and i liked the alliteration.  58. Tell me something that worries you. Global Politics. and not being able to live comfortably because of the few opportunities for millennials with the rising costs of literally everything except my wage.  59. What have you been worrying about today? literally nothing. 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it.  ;) 61. Hot dogs or burgers? burgers 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? N64 specifically..  63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? Arrow. 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? u r a butt.  65. Tell us a deep dark secret.  who is us?  i dont have anymore deep dark secrets.  66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty ‘til it’s all red? no. no i am not.  67. Favourite Tumblr couple? what does this mean 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? probably. i don’t like dessert.. 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? k. 70. How old are you? 26 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence?   “Sorry” 72. Do you have any pets?  YES 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? maroon 74. Boxers or briefs? on who? briefs.  75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? no thank you? 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Community. (its already over) 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? like 30 seconds.  78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? the latter. 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? wut 80. Which country has the best flag?  Tamil Eelam  81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? never 82. Most overrated food? Ketchup 83. Most overrated film? Titanic or the notebook 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Brie 86. Which brand would you never shop at? LV 87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Courage 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? time elapsing. unless you’re stopping time again the other option is kind of impossible… 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? Art from friends.  90. What present do you wish someone would give you? the secret formula to krabby patties.  91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? yes. and yes.  91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? because someone dun fucked up.  92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. no. 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? i don’t get either sooooo 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? i don’t need to have sex with anyone THAT badly to have this answer ready. Krista. 95. What is your spirit animal?  probably a fox. 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? lederhosen.  97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid? yes 98. What makes you super nostalgic? 90s cartoons. 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like ‘yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) im not answering this.  100. What’s your favourite cocktail? you asked me this already 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? sonic screwdriver.  102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? Aussie. 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? Only if he dies after.  105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. no. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? Hwhite. 107. What would you change about your body if you could?  too many to list.  108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? cold 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? slowly. 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? neither. i am an android as discussed above.  111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid? Nermal. 112. What was your favourite class at school? Art 113. Are you superstitious? not really. 114. What do you think happens when we die? people forget.  115. Pie or pi? neither.. but pie i guess. 116. Your followers a question. no. 117. Lick my genitalia. k. 118. What’s your favourite number? 13&18 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? frequently. 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? occasionally. mostly?  121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait.  im the most normal what are you talking about.  122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? any Robert Munsch book probably. 123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Y@H 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. I cant help it. 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. 6/10 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? anything with cats.

[kristawashere]

4 u

Ask some questions, get some answers 1. Favourite colour. Maroon 
2. Number of people you’ve slept with. 16
3. Cake or ice cream? What are my options? Probably cake. Moo
4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? I could pull up stats on anyone, for anything. 
5. Ever been in a fist fight? No. Some day 
6. Do you live in the country or the city? City
7. Biggest kink? When my partner sees me as a human being 
8. Favourite video-game? Tony hawk pro skater 3 
9. Words you live by? You are responsible for the way your own heart beats 
10. Best book you’ve ever read? Fight club, or the bell jar 
11. Favourite film?
12. Horror or romance? Horror 
13. Biggest fear? Being kidnapped
14. Best memory? Osheaga weekend 2012
15. Worst memory? Learning that my friend had died
16. Where are you from? Ur mums house 
17. Ever done anal? I poop from there
18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? Wut
19. Favourite outfit? Pants with a cardigan and dope boots
20. Snapchat or Instagram? Insta
21. If you could freeze time what would you do? Snoop through my loved ones personal items 
22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? Shower bombs 
23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? Brown 
24. Favourite television character? Michael Scott 
25. Do you have a nemesis? Is that like a type of neopet
26. Are you a hard-worker? I'm a hardly-worker
27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Christmas holidays 
28. What’s your dream? To be happy 
29. Where do you see your life ending up? In the toilet 
30. Describe your last sexual encounter. Woke up to my girlfriend being frisky 
31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Why not both 
32. Ever done drugs? Drugs are bad mmkay 
33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? HP
34. Are you a jock or a nerd? Class clown 
35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? 35
36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? Um
37. Favourite trashy television show? Trashy tv is boring
38. Last time you watched porn? I have it penciled in for this weekend 
39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? My mind is always in the gutter 
40. Weirdest dream you ever had? I dreamt my mom said she loved me 
41. Ever had mental health issues? Oui
42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? Mushroom, red pepper, bacon
43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? No
44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? Sure
45. Dog person or cat person? Meow meow meow 
46. Sneakers or heels? Sneaks
47. Favourite cocktail? Meh
48. Day or night? Night 
49. Pokémon or Digimon? GOTTA CATCH EM ALL
50. How big is your dick? 240 pounds
51. Favourite musical? Couldn't say 
52. Favourite song? That's too hard 
53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? It's not a secret 
54. Why are you like this? I didn't get enough attention as a child 
55. What’s your guilty pleasure? Eating pb out of the jar 
56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? Why?
57. What’s the story behind your URL? I was here, once 
58. Tell me something that worries you. That I'll never be happy with myself 
59. What have you been worrying about today? My fat gut 
60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. Gross 
61. Hot dogs or burgers? Burg 
62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? Get a life 
63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like?
64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? That I miss her 
65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I pick my nose 
66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty ‘til it’s all red? What's a botty 
67. Favourite Tumblr couple?
68. Do you have any dietary quirks? Eating is hard 
69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Yep 
70. How old are you? 255555555
71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? Stop
72. Do you have any pets? A cat and a cat 
73. What colour underwear are you wearing? Pink OUUUU LA LA
74. Boxers or briefs? Briefs
75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? My name is Krista 
76. Which television show do you want to last forever? I don't care
77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? 1 hour 
78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? What's internet 
79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? Mhmhm 
80. Which country has the best flag? MURICA
81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? Ironic 
82. Most overrated food? Tempura anything 
83. Most overrated film? I'm in no position to answer that 
84. Most overrated television show? Each and every one
85. Most overrated type of cheese? Blue
86. Which brand would you never shop at? Omg who cares 
87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Courage 
88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? The first one 
89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? Everyone got me bottles of wine one year. That was dope 90. What present do you wish someone would give you? An anklet 
91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Bad breath 
91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Someone screwed the pooch 
92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. I simply don't have a thought to spare 
93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? 
94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? Ur mum
95. What is your spirit animal? Kimmy gibbler 
96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Hush 
97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid? Of course 
98. What makes you super nostalgic? Chicken soup with crackers 
99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like ‘yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) no 
100. What’s your favourite cocktail? U AXED ME DIS 
101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book?
102. Laptop or PC? Lappy 
103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? Dirty dirty English 
104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? Hell ya 
105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. Kk
106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? Dirty blonde
107. What would you change about your body if you could? I'd exchange it for a new one 
108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? HOT
109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? With a partner 
110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? I'm just a regular girl 
111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid? Jackal 
112. What was your favourite class at school? Math 
113. Are you superstitious? I'm a little stitious 
114. What do you think happens when we die? People are sad af
115. Pie or pi? Talk nerdy 2 me 
116. Your followers a question.
117. Lick my genitalia. Kk
118. What’s your favourite number? 11
119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? No 
120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Sure 
121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. Anal af
122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? Cinderella 
123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Ive heard both about myself 
124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. - I do wut I want 
125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. No
126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? Ur mums

#alexissexy

[thesinglesjukebox]

DJ KHALED FT. RIHANNA & BRYSON TILLER - WILD THOUGHTS [4.29] Three artists, two nun lines, one Santana song...

Alfred Soto: Rihanna sings as if she wasn't hearing "Maria, Maria" in her speakers, Bryson Tiller makes dumb gun metaphors, and the rest of the track is too piddling to arouse either my ire or enthusiasm. [2]

Eleanor Graham: This is a tale of two nun lines. Firstly, the one from "Hell Of A Life", which Bryson straight up lifted for his verse. ("What verse?" I hear you say. "This song is only 1 min 40 long." And how right you are.) Secondly, JUST KEEP IT WHITE AND BLACK AS IF I'M YOUR SISTER, which with Rih's 500-degrees-and-icy delivery is cute, sardonic, sexy, weird and amazing. [6]

Maxwell Cavaseno: Let me keep it 100: DJ Khaled as Meme is the biggest Fucking Cornball in the world. I respect it in that he has understood how to transcend the great mystery that dumbass rap fans have of "HUHUH WHAT DOES DJ KHALED EVEN DO" that they never ask for Puffy or Birdman, and in his memeing he now feels like an essential member of rap's pantheon. Nothing changes the fact that every Khaled Anthem is pure corniness because that's all this man does. So of course he decided to pick a single that's the drums of independent ladies and the guitar lick of "Maria, Maria." It hits several sweet spots: nostalgia for the dawn of the millenia, tropical smooth vibes for the summer. It also manages to find the only person who would happily sing the words "NEKKY NEKKY NEKKID" and have listeners mistake that for being breathtakingly awesome instead of LAME AS ALL HELL. But y'know, I like the Bryson Tiller section so frankly I can't talk too much. [2]

Claire Biddles: Who knew that early-00s N.E.R.D. guitar sound could feel fresh in 2017? [8]

Thomas Inskeep: I'd like this a lot better if a) Khaled would shut up and stop yelling "WE THE BEST MUSIC!" and "another one!" b) this weren't basically just Rihanna singing over "Maria Maria," a Santana song I've always hated, c) Bryson Tiller had anything of note to do. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: Unfortunately, given that we're trying to book DJ Khaled for future projects (Feature: "From Punchline to Meme God: How DJ Khaled Played Us All"; Essay: "How DJ Khaled's 10000 Arbitrary Features Were Born for the Streaming Economy"; Listicle: "10 Most Shameless -- So Best Obv -- Santana Samples"; Video: "I Love the '90s") I'm going to have to nix any blurbs from me on DJ Khaled unless they're like, KHALED IS GREAT. [4]

Stephen Eisermann: "Maria, Maria" is a terrific song, so I came into this track with high expectations right off the bat. Thankfully, Rihanna and Bryson Tiller sell sex better than anyone else in the industry which makes the delivery of these vulgar-for-vulgarity-sake lyrics more clean than they really should be. I mean, lyrics like "spinning and it's wet just like it came from Maytag," and "fuck you 'til you're burned out, cremation" aren't even sexy, they're just gross, but somehow Rihanna and Bryson power through them as casually as if they were regular game they spit. Santana's guitar chords must have different effects on different people, as they do make me feel some type of way, just not that type of way. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#DJ Khaled #Rihanna #Bryson Tiller #Wild Thoughts

[beckywtghmai]

Lick Me Like a Listicle Baby

Lick Me Like a Listicle Baby

What does it say

About our brains

That listicles

Are the most

Clickable?

The most

Delectable, for

Purveyors to purvey?

What does a list

Hold for a reader

That a proper

Skim-read can’t do?

I swear, ya’ll

I thought we had

Collectively agreed that

Buzzfeed was old hat?

Or was that just

My mind getting

Clicked off when I

Wasn’t getting hired

With any of that?

Oh well, anyway

The article on my blog

Th…

View On WordPress

#clicks #listicles #nonsense #observations #RANT #writing

[hedonisticadventures]

Answer all the questions

1. Favourite colour.Purple and green2. Number of people you’ve slept with.43. Cake or ice cream?Cake4. If you were a superhero what would your power be?Ability to control probabilities!5. Ever been in a fist fight?Yeah...6. Do you live in the country or the city?Country7. Biggest kink?I don’t even know... I still gotta figure out what it is8. Favourite video-game?Destiny (And soon D2)9. Words you live by?Fall down seven, stand up eight10. Best book you’ve ever read?Harry Potter series11. Favourite film?The Fifth Element12. Horror or romance?Both!13. Biggest fear?Being the failure everyone expects me to be14. Best memory?The nights with my best friend that start out with “What the fuck are we doing tonight?”15. Worst memory?Don’t wanna know... trust me...16. Where are you from?Tampa, Fl17. Ever done anal?Nope18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch?Uhhhhhh?19. Favourite outfit?My khaki colored joggers and long black shirt with my beanie!20. Snapchat or Instagram?Both!21. If you could freeze time what would you do?Travel and not lose any time!22. Best LUSH product in your opinion?Various bath bombs!23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence?Is this a Deadpool reference? Red Shirts24. Favourite television character?Jon Snow25. Do you have a nemesis?Yeah... money26. Are you a hard-worker?Of course!27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on?Every Halloween is the best time of the year!28. What’s your dream?To have my family not worry about money... I grew up constantly under the threat of losing my house and living on the streets so I don’t want my loved ones to have to worry like that!29. Where do you see your life ending up?Traveling the world!30. Describe your last sexual encounter. I took my friend a graduation gift and we hung out and at the end of the night she goes "I’m horny... fuck me?” after making sure she was sure we fucked!31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach?Sex on the beach!32. Ever done drugs?Nope33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings?HP!34. Are you a jock or a nerd?Nerd for sure!35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you?21ish36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it?Tumblr discourse?37. Favourite trashy television show?Big Brother... thats about the trashiest I watch and its not even trashy...38. Last time you watched porn?Right now39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy?Glory hole40. Weirdest dream you ever had?I was in a wasteland but I was king of that wasteland... I don’t even remember the details... 41. Ever had mental health issues?Yup!42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you?Of course43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you?Depends on what aspect... like my YouTube channel? Fuck yeah I want more attention on there but in real life... I’m alright where I am44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops?YES!45. Dog person or cat person?Dog but my cat is cute and gives kisses sooooo46. Sneakers or heels?Sneakers... easy!47. Favourite cocktail?My buddy is a bartender and keeps coming up with crazy shit so whatever he's making!48. Day or night?Night49. Pokémon or Digimon?Pokemon!50. How big is your dick?7.5in long... I’ve been told large if that means anything51. Favourite musical?All of a sudden every musical has disappeared from my memory52. Favourite song? “Middle Fingers” by Missio53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android?Yes54. Why are you like this? Because the culmination of my life until this point has influenced and affected my perception of reality55. What’s your guilty pleasure?Naps56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’?Who are you, anon? I’ll tell you then! ;D57. What’s the story behind your URL? dance-to-this-beat called me it and I changed my name to it!58. Tell me something that worries you.America59. What have you been worrying about today?Whether I’m getting sunburnt or not...60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. Anon... are you sure you read through all of these before asking me?61. Hot dogs or burgers?Burgers62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles?All of them!63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like?I don’t care about fandoms when it comes to me shows!64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend?I tell my best friend everything!65. Tell us a deep dark secret. Uhhhh... I don’t have secrets... ask me anything and I’ll tell you!66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red?Not at all67. Favourite Tumblr couple?Uhhh I don’t know...68. Do you have any dietary quirks?No fast food, I stay away from dairy, I don’t eat meat (for the most part) until dinner time... 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs?Fuck yeah! 70. How old are you?2471. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence?I’m not going looking for a Buzzfeed article just to answer this hahaa72. Do you have any pets? 2 pups, 3 cats, and a dozen chickens!73. What colour underwear are you wearing?Red74. Boxers or briefs?Briefs75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury?No76. Which television show do you want to last forever?Steven Universe77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last?Until someone decides to betray me78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes?Both79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction?I would think thats fucking hot and appreciate each and every one I received individually!80. Which country has the best flag?Pirates... come on Jolly Roger81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*?Never82. Most overrated food?None!83. Most overrated film?I havent even seen many films lately...84. Most overrated television show?I don’t watch much tv outside my shows so I don’t know...85. Most overrated type of cheese?SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH CHEESE IS AMAZING86. Which brand would you never shop at?I ain’t about brands anyways... if theres a shirt I like I’ll buy it87. Wisdom, courage, or power?Wisdom88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal?Travel in space and time elapses normally!89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got?The money90. What present do you wish someone would give you?Sex91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up?I have six exes and various reasons91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now?Just so you can ask this question92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Don’t put two question 91s93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons?I love all my asks! IF I ONLY HAD ANY94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other?I ain’t even gonna answer this one... she might see it and that might be bad95. What is your spirit animal? Bear96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of?Spiffy97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?I cuddle up to a stuffed animal every night... come on haha98. What makes you super nostalgic?Old school cartoons!99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.)HARRY POTTER!100. What’s your favourite cocktail?You mean the same question from question 41?101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book?Sonic screwdriver... I want a wand more but still...102. Laptop or PC?PC by far!103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion?Give me any accent and I’ll fall in love104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000?WHY WOULD’NT I?105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. I smell advertising...106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to?Blue107. What would you change about your body if you could?My sinus problem108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold?Cold109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm?I just love to have orgasms...110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn?Unicorn111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?George112. What was your favourite class at school?Math113. Are you superstitious? Very!114. What do you think happens when we die?Afterlife in heaven or hell115. Pie or pi?PIE116. Your followers a question.Proper grammar please?117. Lick my genitalia. I would love to if you have a pussy118. What’s your favourite number?42119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small?Not really120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?Eh121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I’m way too honest122. What was your favourite story when you were younger?Harry Potter hahaha123. Are you old before your time or young at heart?Young at heart124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me.Because they make sense to me125. I hope you enjoyed these questions.I did!126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans?psychxtic-hearts