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detectivesvu · 3 years

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Morning Coffee

Rafael Barba x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language.

Word Count: 1,644

“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

Waking up to the smell of hot coffee and homemade pancakes was Rafael’s preferred way to begin his Saturday. It didn’t happen as often (or really ever) as he would have liked. He was coming off one of the best nights of sleep that he had ever had, feeling more refreshed than he had in years.

He was confused for a moment when he woke up, not immediately recognizing the bedroom he was in. He lifted his head from the squishy pillow, only sighing in remembrance when he identified the white, clean sheets of your bed. He had spent the night in your company for the first time the night prior. He would be spending the next week or so off from work. No cases, no evidence to review, no statements to produce.

He hadn’t the slightest idea what to do with himself.

That’s how he ended up taking you out to a nice dinner and a lovely walk in the park afterwards. You invited him to stay with you for the weekend, figuring that getting away from his office and apartment would do him some good. After watching some cheesy movie and a night of love, Rafael was able to get the best sleep of his life. And now he had breakfast to welcome himself too when he decided to get up. He let out a content groan, and allowed his head to collapse back into the pillowcase for another few moments.

His eyes peered at the digital alarm clock on the bedside table closest to his side. It was 8:00 AM on the dot. He smirked and let out an incredulous laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept later than 6:00 AM. Eventually, the delicious smells coming from your kitchen had tempted him long enough. He sat up in bed to stretch his tense muscles and crack his unpopped knuckles, it was always his first step in getting out of bed every day.

He pushed back the white duvet, wincing at the feel of the cool air hitting his skin. He made his way out of your bedroom, following the aromas of what he knew to be maple syrup and dark roast coffee. His padding feet stopped short when he saw you turned at the stove, clad in his cream colored sweater that he had worn the night before. He felt a heat creep onto his cheeks. He loved this picture.

You sensed his presence, turning around and smiling at him.

“Good morning, counselor,” You said teasingly; “Did you sleep well?’

He returned a grin, continuing his entrance into the kitchen. He gawked at the sight of the buffet you had prepared. A stack of pancakes with syrup, a fresh pot of coffee, bacon, and sliced fruit. It looked almost too good to eat. His rumbling belly proved otherwise though.

“Very well. I have to say that your bed is a hell of a lot more comfortable than mine.” He admitted, resting his hands on the sides of your arms.

He let his fingertips feel against the familiar material of his sweater. It was one of his favorites to wear this time of year. He liked it a lot better on you though. You flipped the last pancake in the pan, Rafael’s mouth watering at the golden brown disk.

“I just thought that a breakfast that’s more than three cups of coffee might be good for us both. I’m sorry if I woke you, I-”

“No, no, mi amor. Don’t be sorry. I’m partial to waking up this way all the time.” He drawled, his voice still thick with sleep.

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, just below your temple. He eyed the small, purplish marks on your neck. There were at least three or four of them, he felt a little rush of pride at the sight. Images of last night flashed in his head, almost getting him riled up again.

You placed the last pancake onto the plate, finishing off the tower of fluffy goodness. You decided not to even worry about the dishes for now. You had all day to get them done.

“Breakfast is served. These pancakes smell heavenly, if I do say so myself.” You humbly bragged, turning and handing him a plate.

His eyes fluttered in delight as his stomach rumbling audibly this time. He gladly took the plate from your hands, ready to dig in.

“You’re too good to me.” He purred.

You laughed sweetly as he loaded his plate greedily. Poor guy was starving despite the rich meal you had the night before. You were pretty sure he hadn’t been eating well for a while. He let work consume him more often than not. He spent more time in his office than he did at his own home. You hated seeing him run himself dry like this. You didn’t want him to forget how wonderful and exciting life could be.

The two of you sat at your dining room table that was just large enough for the both of you. Rafael generously lathered his pancakes with butter and poured a stream of the sticky syrup. You kept a giggle to yourself when you saw the way his eyes rolled back into his head at the taste. You were even more impressed at your pancake cooking abilities. It was a home run in your books.

Rafael slowed his ravenous eating after the first few bites. He decided he wanted to savor the taste instead of inhaling it all down like it was his last meal or like he was late to a meeting. He had involuntarily trained himself to consume his meals quickly. His brain and body were always on the go all the time. It was nice to take it slow for once.

Rafael watched you from over the rim of his coffee cup, sipping the rich beverage slowly. He relished the taste of his preferred morning pick-me-up. He watched your every move. The way you delicately picked up your glass of orange juice and how you carefully cut your pancakes into bite sized triangles. Your entire demeanor comforted him. In just half a year, he had found more of a home with you than he ever had with anyone else.

His heart did a little happy leap when you walked into the room. His green eyes glowed brighter when he looked at you. He had fallen undeniably in love with you.

You had just stabbed a fresh strawberry onto your fork when you caught Rafael’s stare. You paused, looking to him with curious eyes and laughing nervously.

“What?” You questioned.

He blinked to break his trance, setting down his coffee mug.

“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.” He confessed, his foot nudging yours under the table.

You looked down at the sweater. You had truthfully just grabbed it off the floor when you got up that morning because he had looked so good in it. It was soft, cozy, and reminded you of him. You were still getting used to seeing him in such casual clothing. When you first met him, the thought of ADA Rafael Barba wearing sweatpants seemed foreign. You adored seeing him so comfortable with you.

You sheepishly grinned.

“Oh, I just put it on. It’s super soft,” You explained; “But you can have it back if you want.”

He shook his head, beginning to feel himself get full.

“Keep it on. You look good in it.” He complimented, smiling again.

Your face grew hot, shoveling fruit into your mouth to hide your shyness. He went back into his pancakes with a chuckle, but he would just barely finish them off. You slid down into your chair shortly after, signaling that you couldn’t finish another bite.

“That was so good,” He said, resting a hand on his midriff; “Thanks for making it.”

You stood from your chair, taking his cleaned plate. You leaned down and kissed his head as you passed by.

“Of course. A counselor’s got to eat well. There’s more to breakfast than coffee and contemplation, Rafael.” You address him truthfully.

He gave a sarcastic scoff as he stood and followed you back into the kitchen. He topped off his cup, sipping it again.

“Oh, I know. If I had the time or luxury to afford a meal like this every day then I’d take it. Trust me.” He noted.

You felt sympathetic at that. Everyone who worked as hard as he did deserved something as bare minimum as a decent meal. You had been at a point where things like that weren’t always guaranteed. You knew what he meant to an extent.

“Well, as long as you’ll have me, then I think you can expect that.” You replied.

He set his cup off to the side, standing next to you to assist you in washing the dishes. He hummed thoughtfully.

“I might just take you up on that promise.” He responded jokingly.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, scrubbing your plate gently.

“Good. You deserve it.”

He felt overwhelmed with care and love. No one he had ever dated before had taken so much time and spent so much energy on making sure he was taken care of. He could take care of himself surely, but it was nice to let someone else willingly do it every once in a blue moon. He’d never not return the favor, he respected you far too much for that.

With the dishes clean and appetites satisfied, you had a clean slate for the rest of the weekend. You collectively agreed to lay low and forget about the raging world outside. Rafael knew one thing for sure.

He was one lucky guy.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x female reader #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order barba #detectivesvu

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writefasttalkevenfaster · 3 years

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Take My Hand (Part Four)

Summary: doing what you think is best for another person never ends well (four of ??? parts - more parts to come!)

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Reader, Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 7,579

Song: I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush / I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush (gold rush by taylor swift)

Warnings: T, lots of angst, but a happy ending?

A/N: thank you to all of you for reading, your comments and reblogs have kept me going! thank you to @laneygthememequeen and @bucky-of-the-opera for being the best beta readers!!

“Rafael, you don’t have to leave—” Sonny crossed his arms, as Rafael raised an eyebrow at him over his drink, sipping at his scotch mournfully, “McCoy said you could still work—”

“You know a lawyer’s reputation is everything, Carisi,” he swirled what remained of his drink in his glass, “it’s our main commodity, and mine has been taken out back and shot — by my own hand,” he downs the rest of the drink, “besides,” he sighs, “there’s nothing left for me here.”

Sonny frowns, sipping at his own drink, “What’re gonna do next?” Rafael shrugs, “I think I’ll broaden my horizons— this is the first time since before law school that I haven’t had a plan for my life — it’s just wide open.”

“And that’s?”

“Terrifying, surprising — I never thought I’d have to start over at this point in my career, but,” he leans against the counter, “it’s a change,” and then he looks over at Sonny, “and what about you?”

He furrows his brow, “What about me?”

“Are you going to apply for the opening in the D.A.’s office?” Sonny nearly chokes on his drink, “come on, Carisi, you’re more than qualified.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t know — I’m not sure if I’m ready for that change quite yet, besides,” he shifts in his seat, “I heard from Liv that McCoy has someone else in mind for the job.”

“Stone?” Rafael asks, and Sonny tilts his head, “I may not be in that office, but it doesn’t change the fact that it leaks like a rusty faucet.”

“If you know that—”

“Sonny, a piece of advice,” Rafael turns to face him, one elbow on the counter, “no one job is forever — Stone may last a while, he may not — but get your name in the ring at least because the next time the position is open, they’ll look to you—”

“But—”

“You have been part of the squad, you’ve seen these cases for years, you’re an officer and you have the education to back it up,” he pulls his wallet out, waving off Carisi, and placing a few bills on the counter, “Look, you went to law school for a reason right? If you keep making excuses, you won’t be able to do the good you could do.”

Sonny knew, he knew that he should but— “I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to handle it,”

Rafael raises an eyebrow, “You are a detective in one of the toughest units in the NYPD and you went to law school at the same time — I think you’ll be fine.”

Sonny blinks, trying to hide his smile, “Thank you — for everything. I’ve appreciated you mentoring me these past years.”

Rafael gives a small chuckle at that, “You shouldn’t be thanking me,”

Sonny tilts his head, “Then who should I be thanking?”

Your name leaves his lips, and Sonny frowns, “I didn’t really want to mentor you, but with some encouragement, well—” he shrugs, “my point is there’s no need to thanks, at least not me.”

A sentence burns on his tongue, hot as the anger sitting on his chest, and I should thank the person who cut me out of their life without any to-do? But Sonny doesn’t say that, he only smiles — as always.

He didn’t want to admit how much it hurt when you left. When you didn’t say goodbye. When you quit without warning. When you left him with nothing but a note and no explanation, only the feeling of your lips on his.

But it did hurt.

Especially because he didn’t know if it was because of him. He didn’t presume himself to be that important in your life — and maybe he wasn’t with how easily you had removed yourself from his life — but what other explanation was there really?

“I should go,” Rafael slips off the stool, pulling his coat on, and he holds out his hand to Sonny, “I hope to see you again sometime, Detective,”

Sonny offers a smile, shaking his hand, “Counselor, I expect to hear things about what you do next.”

“Same to you — your name is associated with me, I can't have you sullying it, now can I?” but then he grimaces, shrugging, “well, at least the bar is low.”

“Bye, Rafael,” and he nods, disappearing out the door, and Sonny straightens his coat, walking towards the door, before glancing at the bar stool you had sat at the night he picked you up — so much had changed and in so little time.

“How long has it been, Jack?” you skip the handshake for a hug, sliding into the booth across from him.

“Far too long,” he sighs, already had ordered his own food, “I heard about the stir you’re making in the Bronx,” he splits his chopsticks, dousing in his food in a very modest amount of sriracha, as you raise a questioning eyebrow at his remark, “The Brown case — I heard an earful from the Bronx D.A. about that case.”

You shake your head, ordering yourself a soda, “It was his fault that he didn’t have proper chain of custody on that evidence—”

“I know,” Jack nods, “it was a good catch.”

“Thank you,” you smile, pleased with yourself, “although I suspect this isn’t just for you to compliment me on my exceptional work.”

“Developed an ego at No-Go?” you roll your eyes at his “loving” nickname for your firm, Noble-Gordon LLP, before shrugging, “you know you could start your own practice and make more money.”

“I could, but I also wouldn’t get some control over where their pro bono hours go,” you order your food, stirring your drink with a straw, “now what do you want McCoy? And then I can bore you with the details of my life plan.”

Jack smiles, “Always straight to the point, huh, counselor?” he leans back, “what do you think of Detective Carisi?”

You furrow your brow, “Sonny? Is something—”

“Nothing is wrong,” Jack waved you off, “but what was your opinion of him?”

You tilt your head, “As what? Detective, a barred attorney, or person?”

Jack raises an eyebrow, “Let’s start with detective, and then we’ll get to the other two,”

You pause — how could you describe Sonny? “When he first started, I didn’t know what to think of Sonny — he was eager to learn, but green,” you suppress a snort at the thought of him the unfortunate incidents of him pestering victims and suspects alike, “but despite that, he was always willing to learn, quick on his feet. He was good with the victims, maybe not at first, but he’s a seasoned detective now, and I have confidence in his skills.”

“And as an attorney?”

“Well, I never was around to see him get barred,” and you feel a twinge of guilt crawl up your throat — you had promised to help him study, promised to help him celebrate — you didn’t do either, “but when he applied his legal knowledge to cases we worked on together and while shadowing at the Manhattan office, he showed aptitude, skill, and passion.”

“And as a person?”

You smile softly, “Sonny is kind, to a fault, but he’s practical, he knows there are grays to S.V.U. cases — he’s seen them firsthand. He knows how to handle tough cases, while having the empathy to handle victims,” Jack nods, sipping at his drink, “now I assume you’re asking for a reason?”

“Stone resigned,” Jack sighs, “effective immediately — and we’re looking for someone to get their foot in the door — quick.”

“Peter? What—”

“It wasn’t the right fit,” he shook his head, “he’s landing on his feet — don’t worry.”

You frowned, you didn’t know Peter personally, but you had heard stories of him and his father — both were legendary, “I’m sorry to hear that, but,” you tilt your head, “you’re considering Sonny for the position?”

“Yes, and now hearing what you had to say, I think I will," and you smile, "after an interview, of course."

"Of course," you shake your head, "I remember interviewing with you."

He raises an eyebrow, "And?"

"I think I convinced myself you thought I was a moron, until you gave me the offer after a week," he shrugs.

"Had to make you sweat," he purses his lips, "do you regret saying yes?"

You glance at the bar, a frown pressing onto your lips, "I regret a lot of things," and your food arrives at the table, and you break your chopsticks, smiling, "but never that."

You were not happy.

You hurried up the steps of the Manhattan courthouse — steps you had hoped you wouldn’t have had to hurry up ever again — not only had this case been unceremoniously dumped on the firm with a notice of one whole day, but it had been shafted to you with a whole two hours notice after one of your junior associates called out sick.

Sick or hungover? You couldn’t tell over from the 4:00 AM message left on your voicemail, but by the sounds of the clinking glasses in the background — they certainly didn’t have the flu.

This was not only the son of one of your firm’s biggest clients — the firm practicing not only criminal defense but also some business law matters. It was a simple case — a white first time offender on a petty marijuana possession — he would likely get no jail time, and get time served at most — with an expungement in the near future.

But that wasn’t the problem.

The crime was committed and the son charged in the jurisdiction of Manhattan, so that meant this was in a Manhattan courtroom, one that you hadn’t stepped into in what — two, nearly three years?

And on top of it all, there was the matter of who the prosecutor was. A silent curse muttered under your breath as you rushed to the courtroom — and it was someone you hadn’t seen in about the same amount of time.

Why a sex crimes prosecutor was covering for a narcotics case — you didn’t know, but you figured it was either a chance to learn the ropes in different departments or the D.A. needed someone to cover, and the new guy drew the short straw.

Just your luck.

You stood outside the courtroom, catching your breath, your heart thumping against your ribs — and you didn’t know whether it was from the running or from the fact you were about to see Sonny again for the first time in three years after you kissed him.

And he didn’t know you were coming.

Fuck it, you pulled open the door, stepping inside.

And you saw him— standing where Rafael and you once stood, his eyes first lying on his notes, but drawn to the noise of the creaking door and your footsteps against the marble floor.

You try not to look at him. You can’t help it, as you pass him by you catch a glimmer of his reaction — shock scrawled plainly across his face, eyes widened and nearly slack jawed.

“Your Honor, I apologize to you and to my client, ” you spare a small smile to the privileged 18-year-old, Jason Baker, beside you, before your eyes flicker over to Sonny — dress in a pressed suit, his hair slicked back, lips no longer curled in the smile he once had for you, but instead, in a thin line, “ as well as A.D.A. Carisi. I was only informed of this case this morning and I rushed here as soon as I could—”

“Yes, I understand,” Judge Lopez nods — Lopez being a judge you had dealt with many a time on cases — tough, but always fair, a definite leftist progressive (even by New York standards), “Do you need a moment to confer with your client?”

“Just a moment,” you confirmed the details of the case with Jason, before nodding, “I think we’re ready to proceed.”

The hearing went without much to-do, both of you agreeing to meet about a plea agreement to settle this case out of court. You promised your client you would meet with him after, as Sonny began to make a beeline out of the courtroom.

You barely caught up to him, on the heels of him striding toward the elevators, jaw set, “Sonny—”

“Counselor,” he replied coolly, and you frowned, “do you want to set a time for your client’s plea agreement?”

“Yes, but—” the elevator dings and he steps in without another word.

“I’ll send you and your office an email,” his smile is curt and cordial, but his words have an edge to them, “nice to see you again.”

And the doors shut.

So, you stare at the closed elevator doors, he was mad.

"Can you believe—"

Rollins sighs, leaning back against her sofa, head resting against the top, "No I can't, Carisi, just like I couldn't the first twenty times," she murmurs under her breath.

He pauses, his jaw tight, “Am I annoying you?”

“No, Sonny, but—” she gestures for him to sit, “you’re stressing me out with all that pacing, can you sit down?”

Sonny collapsed into a chair, arms crossed and leg still bobbing up and down, “I always thought about what I would say when I saw—” he cuts off, “it was like no time had passed, acting like nothing had happened—”

Amanda raises an eyebrow, “What did happen between you two?” Sonny falls silent, his eyes falling to the carpeted floor, “this is what I mean, you’re telling me half of the story and expecting me to have a reaction,” she pushes his knee, “what happened?”

He said nothing, and Amanda sighs, “When I gave you the sweatshirt, you barely said anything, and now you’re not saying anything when you saw—” a cry breaks her sentence off, and they listen as the baby settles back down, “You know I always knew you had a thing for—”

“I didn’t have a thing—” he cuts off when he sees her raise an eyebrow, “okay maybe I did, but it has nothing to do with this—”

“If it doesn’t, then why are you mad?”

“I’m mad,” his voice raises, before she shushes him, and he sighs, apologizing, “I’m angry because I didn’t get a goodbye.”

You were gone.

You were gone before he woke up. You were gone from S.V.U. before he came in. You were gone from your apartment when he came knocking — moved out.

And he was only left with a note and a sweatshirt.

He continues, “I didn’t get a goodbye, but guess who recommended me for the A.D.A. position?”

It hadn’t been long enough since the last time he had thought about you. And the last time was his interview for the A.D.A. position.

“I’ll cut to the chase, son,” Jack said, making Sonny sit up straighter in his chair — he had spent the last forty-five minutes trying to impress Jack McCoy only for him to cut the chase now, “You know I’m not the type to mince my words, so I’ll ask you the question that really matters — why should we hire you over other candidates with more experience?”

This was the question he was dreading — he fought the urge to tug at his collar or wipe the palms down the front of his pants.

“Honestly, sir, I’ve thought about this question a lot, and yes, I don’t have the legal experience of some of the other candidates,” he didn’t — he had shadowing, he had done clinics, but he hadn’t practiced since being barred, “but I know S.V.U. — more than any of your candidates because I’ve seen these cases firsthand. Not only have I seen the cases, the victims, but I’ve worked with the team — I know the ins and the outs, and I’ve worked with A.D.A.s before—” he nearly flinched at the thought of you, “I know what I’m getting into — I know a lot of cases aren’t a win and I know we have to push sometimes, and I’m not afraid to do that,” he swallows, his throat dry — unable to discern the expression on Jack’s face, “You’ll have to train any candidate you have — whether they have practiced or not, especially when it comes to S.V.U., but you will have to teach one less thing, and it’s the most important one.”

And after the longest moment, he smiles, and Sonny can barely hear what he says over his blood roaring in his ears, “I think you’re right,”

“You do?”

Jack laughs, “Don’t sound so surprised, Dominick,” he tilts his head, “after hearing you talk about your work in and out of the department, I thought you would have more faith in yourself.”

And you would think that but—

“I’ll work on that,”

Jack smiles, clearing his throat, “Based on that and the recommendation I received from who you shadowed—”

He frowns, “You talked to someone I shadowed?”

When your name leaves his lips, he blinks, “Haven’t you spoken—”

Not since leaving my apartment and disappearing, “Not in a long time,” he gives a tight smile, “How are—”

“Doing great at Noble-Gordon as a defense attorney in the Bronx — giving the Bronx D.A. hell,” he smiles with pride, and he remembers how you had told him that McCoy had been one of your mentors, the man who had helped you become the attorney you are today — and now he was Sonny’s boss, “Better them than us, right?”

“Sonny—” Amanda’s voice cuts through his thoughts.

He gets to his feet again, walking towards the window, “Leaves, and then thinks to interfere in my life, doesn’t even bother to reach out, I haven’t heard a thing in years — years — but still gives me a recommendation,” he gives a bitter chuckle, “apparently our friendship meant that little.”

Apparently he had meant that little.

“I’m sorry, Sonny,”

He shakes his head, “What are you sorry for?” he asks, getting to his feet — I got kissed. I got cut out. And I didn’t even get an explanation — “Nothing happened.”

“I want jail time,” your head snaps up at the sound of Sonny’s voice, closing the door behind him, as you sat waiting in his office — the one that was next door to your old one, “at least six months.”

“What?” No greeting, no handshake, no smile — that much you half-expected, but jail time— “it’s a first time offense, and it’s not 1980, we’re not in the war on drugs—”

Sonny slides into his chair across from you his hands folded, “Counselor, your client isn’t an innocent school boy — he is an adult—”

“Barely, he just turned 18—”

“Exactly my point, he’s an adult, and—”

“And no competent attorney would ever take that deal—”

Sonny leans back in his seat, “Well a competent attorney would consider any deal in front of them, wouldn’t they?”

And your eyes narrow, “My client will not accept anything more than probation with no jail time, and hell, maybe we'll even throw in drug tests in, but anything more is a disgrace to the legal system,”

“Then I guess a jury can decide,” his jaw is set, and you see the quiet anger in his eyes — frigid as an icy lake, one that you were currently drowning in. His chair screeches as he moves to rise, and you stop him.

“We both know this isn’t about the case, Sonny,”

He raises an eyebrow, “Are you questioning my prosecutorial authority?”

“Are you trying to send a barely adult first time offender to jail when it makes absolutely no sense?” he grits his teeth, “is that justice? Is that what you’ve learned in S.V.U.?”

“I’m sorry that I’m not playing soft ball with you, counselor—”

“I’m sorry that you’re trying to take your anger at me out on my client,” you snap, rising from the table. And it snaps him into silence, his eyes falling to his notes, brow furrowed, mouth a thin line. Your anger simmers slowly, but as you speak again, your voice is even, but tempered, “The way I see it — we have three options — one, get over yourself and let us make a reasonable plea agreement; two, I get someone else from my office to handle this; or three, we work out our issues like fucking adults and move on with this agreement,”

His voice is quiet when he speaks, “So are we finally going to act like adults now?”

You waver, “Sonny—”

“After you cut me out with no explanation and left, I didn’t realize now we could act like adults,” he flips shut his leather folder, “I apologize for my behavior — maybe you’re right, someone else from your office should handle—”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off, and he doesn’t look up, “I’m so sorry, Sonny, I didn’t mean to—” you swallow, fuck, “I thought — I thought it would be easier after—”

“Easier? For you or for me?”

The truth cut deep, especially when you know it was true, “You’re right — I know, what I did,” you sigh, “It was awful — I was so embarrassed after how I treated you, after I kiss—” you break off, “I know I have a lot of things to make up for, but I want you to know that I didn’t cut you off because of anything you did — even if you know that already — it was me, I didn’t want to burden you—”

“How did you think cutting me off wasn’t going to burden me?” his words are softer, but sharper, digging into your chest with the guilt you knew was yours only to bear, “how did you think losing one of my friends wasn’t going to— you kissed me after I picked you up, and then nothing for three years. Nothing.”

“I wanted to call, I wanted to text—”

“Then why didn’t you?” and you wonder if this is how a suspect felt when they were being interrogated by him, but surely his eyes weren’t nearly this glassy with emotions then, “You promised me — you promised me you would be there for me—”

Your voice breaks, “Sonny—”

“Do you know the hell I’ve gone through?” His voice is quiet, “do you know?”

And you didn’t, “I don’t,” your words are quiet. “Because you’re right — it was easier, after what happened — not with you — with everything else, it was easier to cut ties and move on. It was easier to pretend none of it happened,” you admit, “but it wasn’t right — and I can’t change that. But I’m sorry,” you add, “and I know I have a lot of making up to do, if we ever can get to that point again, I would like to try.”

His expression is inscrutable — and you know Sonny has changed, you could read him so easily before — an open book who’s pages that you had familiarized yourself with, his emotions scrawled clearly across his brow, nose, lips, and eyes. And now you could barely make out a single word.

“Try?”

“Try to be your friend,” you bite your lip, wringing your hands in your lap, “I missed you, Sonny, and I know I don’t have a right to say that, but I did. And seeing you has only made me realize how shitty I’ve been — please?”

A frown pulls at his lips, and he wavers, before rising, tucking his folder into his briefcase, “Probation with weekly drug tests, and I want him do some community service—”

“But—”

“He’s spent years with a silver spoon in his mouth — let’s try to fix that,” and you tilt your head, hiding a smile.

“I’ll talk to him about it,” you get up too, beginning to pack up your things even as you watch him turn to the door, “Can we discuss it over lunch? My treat.”

He pauses, his back turned, “I’m a little busy these next few weeks,”

You wave him off, feeling your chest squeeze, rejection stinging — as it should, as you deserve — “Of course," nothing was that simple — trust was easy to lose, hard to get back.

“But how about I call you?” you blink, as he looks over his shoulder, there’s a hint of a sigh in his throat, a certain sort of begrudged reluctance, but still an almost undetectable smile ghosts his lips — and you’ll take it.

“You got it,” But it wasn’t impossible to earn trust back. Your heart swells with hope, your hand brushing as your hand moves to hold the door open — and you would get it back, one way or another.

“Penny for your thought, counselor?” Sonny’s head snaps up, finding you standing, suit jacket slung over your arm, a smile on your lips, “I would say a dollar, but I know you took quite a pay cut compared to your old job.”

“But I could make a buck prosecuting you for stalking,” and you scoff, looking at the table strewn with pages of briefs and yellow legal pads marked in reds, blacks and blues. It had been your fifth time running into him the last few weeks — and you had weaseled your way into conversations, though not a lunch. You were trying to earn his trust back, and you had gotten a little closer each time, but it didn’t mean it was all over and done with.

The distrust still sat squarely in his expression — but this time it was being overwritten by something else — stress.

You gape at him, affronted, “Forlini’s was mine before it was yours, thank you very much,” you gesture to the seat across from him, he grunts, nodding and you slide in, “I think I can settle for joint custody if you can.”

“I’d fight ya on it, but,” he sighs, eyes flickering back to his notes, “I got my hands full already.”

You purse your lips when you see the heaviness in his brow, “What’s wrong?”

He gives a grim smile, “You already know what’s wrong,”

Yes, you knew it well — your first tough case had the ability to unravel you to pieces, especially one from S.V.U., “Well, the facts aren’t any different when you’re the prosecutor versus the detective,”

“But the job is completely different,” he shakes his head, covering his face, before wiping his palm down it, “and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

You frown, “Have you eaten?”

“Eating isn’t the problem,” he shoves his papers aside, a few wrinkling and falling under the booth, the legal pad slamming against the end of the booth. He squeezes his eyes shut, before relaxing, “sorry, I—”

“No, trust me,” you catch a glimpse of the photos of one of the victims — a bruised and battered girl no older than fifteen, “I get the frustration, but you know there’s only so much you can do in these cases.”

“I’m not doing enough,” he leans on his elbow, his fist pressed to his mouth, before resting it against his forehead, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I have my first grand jury tomorrow and I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

“Sonny,” you resist the urge to reach out to him, “you can do this.”

“You would say that,” he mutters, and you tilt your head, “you recommended me for the job, McCoy told me.”

“I didn’t recommend you — Jack was already looking at you, he asked for my opinion and I gave it,” you raise an eyebrow, “do I need to tell you now?”

He shakes his head, “I—”

“Sonny,” he looks up at you, “I have not an inch of doubt in your abilities — I’ve seen you grow as a detective and as a law student, and now,” you smile softly, “I’ve seen you grow as an attorney the last few weeks. You are ready — you know why?”

He sighs, his hands folded on the table, “Because of my training?”

“No,” you say, and he frowns, “because you are sensitive and kind, but you are also tough — tough enough to make the hard calls,” your hand brushes his tentatively, hovering before settling, “weren’t you nervous before becoming a detective? When you were a cop?”

“I was, but I was confident, bordering on arrogant — I always went in, guns blazing, so to speak,” he adds, shaking his head at the implication, “now, I’m—”

“Now you’re cautious — it comes with experience, that’s normal and good — overconfidence bites you in the ass, every time,” you squeeze his hand, “you will do great — and more importantly,” he raises his gaze to meet yours, “you will do your job and do it well — and that’s all you can do.”

He purses his lips, “You really believe in me?”

You scoff at his disbelief, “Sonny, I’ll always bet on you — every single time,” his gaze softens, a smile gracing his lips and your stomach flips when he squeezes your hand back.

“Thank you,” his words are as soft as his touch, his fingers intertwined with yours for a moment, and your eyes flicker across his face — how was it you never realized just how beautiful he was?

And the moment is broken when he pulls his hand away, gathering all his materials and slipping them into his bag, “If you need any help—”

He frowns, “Y’know as well as I do that these cases are—”

“I meant with your self-esteem or advice about how to phrase questions — no specifics and no actual questions,” you cross your arms, “I know about confidentiality and professional responsibility, counselor — I have been at this longer than you have. You could afford to take my advice.”

He raises an eyebrow, teasing, “Pulling seniority? You’re not at the D.A.’s office anymore,”

“But I know your boss,” you tease right back, and he rolls his eyes, as you lean forward, “and it’s ‘counselor’ to you,”

He dares forward, “Well, counselor,” he replies, lips curled in a smile, “I’ll take it under advisement, and I’ll give my boss your best,” And he slips from the booth, pausing only to add, “do this again?”

And you can’t hide your smile, “Next week?”

He nods, slipping out of the doors from Forlini’s and you watch him, your eyes falling across the bar — and the two seats where you had sat, now reupholstered and refurbished — and then back again to the door he left from, before turning back to your booth. As you sat, his smile and the faint fluttering left in your chest, a smile you couldn’t stave off

Things really did change, didn’t they?

“Trial’s in a few weeks?” and Sonny nods, Rollins sips at her drink, “you have to testify, Amanda?”

“Unfortunately,” she jerks a thumb towards Sonny, setting her drink down on the counter of the bar, “he’s been prepping me and it’s somehow worse than Barba.”

The sting of his name hurt less, your easy smile not wavering, “I find that hard to believe,”

“Oh believe me,” Amanda turns to Sonny, who sips at his drink sheepishly, “how long did we practice yesterday?”

“Not important,” he brushes her remark off, as you and Amanda share a look and chuckle, “I just want to be ready — Hadid has been all over me about this trial. If she’s been looking for an excuse to fire me, this would be the perfect one.”

“Hey,” your hand finds his, “you’re going to do great. You have practiced your closing a thousand times — I’ve heard it half a million times — you know what the points you have to make are. I know you’re ready.”

He squeezes your hand back, smiling softly, “Thank you,” and butterflies bloom under his steady gaze, before he slips from the stool, “I’m going to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” his hand grazes your back before he finds his way to the restroom.

You sip at your drink, before you find Amanda staring at you. You frown, placing the drink down, “What?”

“What’s going on between you two?”

You wrinkle your brow, as Amanda scratches her brow, her lips pursed.“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to get involved, but,” she craned her neck to check if Sonny was gone, “I know something happened between you two before you left,” Your head snaps to your drink, biting your lip, “I may be a detective, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you two, whatever this is,” she gestures, “it’s not just a friendship,”

You blink — but wasn’t it? “But—”

“I don’t know how you feel, but I’m not blind,” she tilts her head, trying to catch your gaze, “just don’t hurt him okay?”

“Amanda—”

“I don’t need to hear specifics about what happened,” she shrugs, “I just want him to be okay ‘cause he may not be my partner now, but he is my best friend.”

You nod, “Of course, I won’t, Amanda — I care about him too.”

But it was complicated.

It was simple before — but it was different — you were in love with someone else — blinded. Sonny was your friend, one of your closest, but a friend nonetheless. Your stomach didn’t flip when you saw him, you didn’t text him so often, there weren't brief touches that you wished would last forever — like there was now.

And you couldn’t deny it forever.

Amanda chuckles, shaking her head, “I can’t believe I just said Carisi is my best friend,”

You smile, “Guess he really grew on you after he shaved the ‘stache,”

Amanda raised her eyebrows, snorting, “Like an infection,”

You grinned, sipping at your drink, “What are you two laughing at?” and both of you share a smile, “what?”

“Nothing, Sonny,” Amanda waves him off, “I gotta go — babysitter’s time is almost up, and I have to check on the girls,” Amanda nods at you, “It was nice to see you again, counselor.”

“Same here, Amanda,” and she nods at Sonny, slipping from the bar, as he takes her seat, leaning against the counter, his knee brushing yours. The low light of the bar catches in his eyes, a dark blue that makes your heart stutter a moment as his lips curl into a smile. And you remember the moment you kissed him.

“Now what?” you blink, biting your lip.

Would it be so bad to fall in love with him?

To fall in love with an A.D.A. again? Falling into old habits?

“Walk me home?”

And fall you would.

~~~

It wasn’t a walk so much as it was a subway ride away and a walk to your apartment, “Do you ever miss the D.A.’s office?” and you spare a glance at Sonny.

“Why? Want another person bossing you around the office?” he chuckles, licking his lips.

“When you put it like that,” and you laugh, “no, I just mean—”

“You mean if I ever miss being on the right side of justice?” and he opens his mouth to retort, “I’m joking, Sonny — I mean criminal defense is a different way I can do justice — I get to take on a lot of the firm’s pro bono work and I get to help people who are at the lowest points of their lives put it back together.”

“Even murderers?” he frowns.

You bite your lip, “You saw the Ortiz case on the news didn’t you?” Ortiz, a husband who murdered his wife in cold blood — or that was the story the media and prosecutors’ were selling, “Did you read his interview?”

He raises an eyebrow, “No?”

“It turns out his wife had been abusive for years — verbally, emotionally, and physically—” your shoes scrape against the pavement, “he snapped when she turned it on their son.”

“Is that an excuse—”

“Yes, by law it is — it isn’t premeditated murder, it’s manslaughter,” you slip your hands into your pockets, “but even then, do people get any better locked up in cages?”

“Do you think they should be—”

“Walking free and clear? No,” you look up at the sky, “but you know in Sweden — they have one of, if not the, lowest recidivism rates? They have less than 4,000 prisoners, compared to America’s millions. It’s because they focus on rehabilitation, not punishment. Instead of locking up people in tiny cells and inhumane conditions, they give them care in all aspects of their lives — education, psychological help, medical — everything,” Sonny opens his mouth to interject, and you hold your hands up, “I’m not saying all people are capable of reform — but a lot of them are, and don’t we owe people that chance?”

“But with S.V.U.—”

“With S.V.U., it’s more complicated — I won’t deny that, rapists are more likely to victimize again compared to other crimes,” you shake your head, “I don’t have all the answers, but I know locking people up and having them be victimized in prison isn’t the answer,” you offer a small smile, “but to answer your question, I miss the people, but I’m happy where I landed. I think it’s the right place for me.”

“How do you know? I mean, how do you know it’s the right place?”

You shrug, “You just feel it after some time—” you tilt your head, “where’s this coming from?”

Sonny sighs, “I got a big case coming up in a week,” his hands slipped into his pockets, “My first trial.”

“Hadid letting you off the leash?” he barks out a laugh.

“Barely,” he shakes his head, “not that I blame her — this job, I swear I come home more tired than I did chasing down perps.”

“That seems like a stretch, and hindsight bias,” you add, elbowing him before rubbing your shoulders, biting back a shiver — wearing only a suit coat out was a mistake, “besides I know you can handle it.”

He unwraps his scarf, as you open your mouth to protest, but the scarf is already around your neck, and you can’t help but smile — it smells like him — “Sometimes I think you have more faith in me than I do,”

“I have enough faith in you for the both of us,” you pull the scarf snug around yourself, resisting the urge to bury your nose in it. You bite your lip, “is the gallery open to the public?”

“Think so,” he nods.

“Do you want me to be there in court?” the words come out carefully — afraid to cross a line you weren’t sure was there.

“Watching the case?”

“Just the verdict,” you say, “I didn’t get to be there for you when you passed the bar or when you got hired at the D.A.’s office — we could get dinner after — guilty verdict or not.”

“Not gonna disappear on me for three years, are you?” you flinch, and he sighs, “sorry that came out wrong—”

“It’s okay,” you smile ruefully, “I kind of deserved it, but,” you add, “I’m not going anywhere — and this time I mean it.”

The quiet settled over you both for a moment, and you knew he was going to ask — you knew he was working up the courage to do so, “Why did you leave?” you cross your arms, “you don’t—”

“I want to,” you shake your head — and you could see Rafael’s smile, feel his touch, and see his heart break — “It’s just complicated.”

“So complicated that you had to leave?” he pressed, and you nodded.

“I didn’t want to — but I had to,” you glance at him, see his brows knit together, “but the one thing I regretted and I will always regret is leaving you too, and I promise, I won’t do it again,” you reach for his hand, your fingers intertwining, just as you reach the doorstep of your apartment, “you can hold me to that.”

He stares down at you, the flickering light of your apartment barely illuminating his face, but a soft smile on his lips, “I will, sweetheart,” and warmth bloomed in your stomach — no, you really couldn’t deny it anymore could you? But he squeezes your hand, stepping back, “See you in a week?”

You lick your lips, heart thumping in your ears — you nod, “Yeah,” you feel his coat around your shoulders, “oh your scar—”

He waves you off, “Keep it,” he walks down your steps, turning around, pointing a finger at you, grinning, “But make sure Rollins isn’t the one bringing it by.”

You hear the humor in his voice and smile, “No promises.”

And you spare one more glance at his returning back, before slipping inside your apartment building and into your apartment. Your fingers fisted in the soft red cotton of his scarf — your cheeks and heart warm.

Oh, what were you getting yourself into?

Sonny tried not to glance behind him — you still hadn’t arrived. His nerves were shot after this week — everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong.

Of course it did — it did little to inspire faith in himself, or in Hadid for that matter.

“All rise,” Judge Abbas said, and Sonny had to stop himself from jumping to his feet — he knew, he knew in his gut that he had given his best case, though this case was sticky to begin with, “Foreperson of the jury, what say you on the charge of rape in the second degree?”

Sonny’s heart jumped into his throat, blood roaring in his ears, and he barely caught the verdict, mouth dry — the feeling of the victims’ gazes boring into the back of his head.

“We find the defendant guilty,” and he nearly couldn’t believe it — he had done it, they had done it. The judge announces they will reconvene for sentencing in two weeks. He turns around, shaking the hands of the victims, thanking them for their testimony, sparing one glance at the defendant.

Adneradline and relief is pumping through him, his chest lighter — he had done it, he had gotten justice.

And then he sees you — through the crowd, you’re standing by the door, smiling brightly at him, mouthing congratulations, jerking your head and slipping from the courtroom. He nearly trips over himself to get to you, trying to maintain decorum as he leaves through the double doors. He slips by people he knows and those he doesn’t until finally he finds you in a discrete corner of the courthouse, away from prying eyes and reporters.

“Sonny, I’m so proud of you,” you say, your hands on his shoulders, your lips curled in a smile he hoped that was just for him, “I knew you could do it,”

And you did — you had told him he could do it time and time again when he didn’t believe in himself, you had been there for him, as you promised to be.

Everything slows for a moment.

And he couldn’t help think you were the only one he needed to believe in him, to be by his side, the one he wanted to tell good news first, the one he wanted to wake up beside in the morning. He’s breathless as he looks at you, and you seem to realize — the air between you two becoming thick, as he looms closer, a bag on your arm, slipping to your fingers now.

“Sonny,” you breathe, as you tilt your head upwards to look into his eyes.

And he knows this may be a mistake — the last time he kissed you, you disappeared, and every relationship he’s had has ended in disaster, but he can’t bring himself to care — not when he could kiss you again.

“Can I kiss you?” the words slip past his lips without much to-do, and he has to stop himself from biting his tongue or stumbling back, especially when you nod, and his lips crash to yours.

His kiss is still hesitant, and so are you, your lips parting and meeting again and again — chaste, but he tasted you — and he swore he never tasted anything like you before, nothing so sweet. And he pulls away a moment, eyes fluttering and he sees your eyes do the same. And his heart is in his throat again — what if you thought it was a mistake?

But you only smile, your warm hand cupping his cheek, the bag slipping from your fingers, as the other intertwines with his fingers, “Where do you think you’re going?”

And you kiss him again, and he doesn’t hold back this time, his arms wrapping around you, tugging you impossibly closer, smiling against your lips. And he couldn’t help but think — as warmth bloomed in his stomach, your fingers curling in his hair — how did he ever get so lucky?

#sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi #sonny carisi imagines #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagines #svu #svu imagines #law and order: svu #svu fanfiction

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prurientpuddlejumper · 3 years

Text

Death Threats

Summary: What if the people threatening Barba went after you, too?

Warnings: Angst. Injury. Fluff. (I realized the timing puts this in the episode Heartfelt Passages, so that was a busy day for poor Rafi.)

Dedicated to @teamsladsandgents for inspiring me to get stabby.

2,256 words

You thought he punched you, the man in the elevator. It wasn’t until the doors chimed open and he was striding quickly but casually from the building that you realized you were bleeding.

The inch-wide slit in your shirt took a moment to start bleeding in earnest as you stood in shock, time frozen along with your body. Then thick, dark amounts of it began streaming through your fingers.

The elevator doors were sliding shut before you thought to stumble out with your last ounce of strength—to scream for help—before your body sank to the ground, leaving you alone in your metal coffin. You tried to sit up again, but it hurt and made more blood come out.

You couldn’t reach the elevator buttons.

You were so tired.

The funny thing was, you weren’t afraid. Just disappointed. You always thought you’d turn into an action hero if you were attacked—that adrenaline would awaken some ferocious, hitherto unseen warrior within, like Jason Bourne.

But it all happened so fast.

It was over before you noticed a blade in his hand. Over before you processed that he had said something to you, just before that dull punch in your gut.

“That ADA you’re fucking sticks his nose in the wrong people’s business.”

It was strange that you weren’t thinking about your mom or your best friend of ten years. As you pressed as hard as you could to stem the bleeding, you didn’t see your whole life flash before your eyes. The only thing on your mind was your boyfriend of the last several months, the sarcastic lawyer who kept so many walls up, and the petty argument you got into earlier about his canceling lunch plans again.

None of it seemed real. Didn’t seem like the way the story of your life ought to end—bleeding out in an elevator.

It was getting hard to concentrate on what to do next.

OK. The buttons wouldn’t work. Too far to reach.

No one can hear you scream.

Phone.

Your phone was in your pocket, but you had to take one of your hands off of clamping your gut to reach it. Blood streamed through your fingers—so much blood from such a small hole. Your hand was too slick with it and shaking to grab hold of the phone. If you could get it, you could call 911.

“Work, you fucking hand,” you thought. You thought that was an undignified last thought. It should be something profound. Poetic.

But no. Your last thought was going to be swearing at a Samsung.

Tired.

You never remembered if you managed to get the phone from your pocket or not. It didn’t matter anymore.

The last thing you remembered thinking about was Rafael finding out you were gone, his eyes red from mourning. Blaming himself. You wished you could tell him… If you died, you wouldn’t be there to cup his cheek, to make him smile again. To tell him what you whispered to the dark elevator, alone.

“It’s not your fault, Rafi.”

***

The man’s name was Felipe Heredio, a lieutenant of the BX9 street gang. There was already a warrant out for his arrest when he stabbed you. ADA Rafael Barba identified him in a lineup as the man who was stalking him only an hour after a neighbor found you lying in a pool of blood. The fact that he was already in police custody might have been relieving to you if you were conscious. You might have felt proud that it was Barba who ensured he was arrested.

And your heart might have broken when Barba’s phone rang, and his entire world stopped.

***

Rafael’s eyes were red from crying when you woke up with oxygen tubes in your nose, and your hand cradled in his. Your throat hurt more than anything else, oddly, which you would later learn was from being intubated for surgery.

The first word you croaked upon regaining consciousness was, “Sorry.”

A collection of empty coffee cups was scattered around the feet of his chair so he could stand vigil for however long you had been out. His eyes were not only red and wet, but bulging with that jittery, over-tired, caffeine anxiety.

You knew how busy Rafael was. That it was a weekday (technically, it was already tomorrow), and he’d have court in the morning. What you didn’t know, because he didn’t want to weigh you down with his world, was that Barba had already mourned one death today, and that one more loss might break him.

You were sorry for causing him so much trouble.

Rafael was having none of it, of course. He tried to keep his voice from shaking when he told you, “Why in god’s name would you be sorry?” followed by barking, “Stop that—don’t try to sit up. Nurse!”

His bedside manner was well and truly atrocious.

The next hour was a dizzying blur of nurses checking your vitals and helping you use the bathroom, then answering a uniformed officer whose questions you could barely understand through the morphine haze.

When it became clear what had happened and why, Rafael became unusually quiet. All of his follow-up questions and complaints of, “is this really necessary? Can’t you do this later?” fell away. He slumped in the visitor’s chair beside your bed, his hand still holding yours, but in pensive silence until the officer finished, leaving you alone except for the security detail at the door.

Then the apologies came. The heavy confessions that he’d been receiving threats for a year, and this was all, all his fault. Admittedly, if it weren’t for the morphine drip dulling everything, you might have been pissed off that he knew this might happen and kept it to himself. He kept so much to himself, you had to read about his cases online to know what was going on in his life. But his face—which you always thought babyish, with his smooth cheeks and lips ever-ready to flash a sarcastic smirk—was drawn, making him look old and haggard. He was too serious, too raw to possibly blame him.

“I’m so sorry for putting you in danger. I never should have gotten you involved in this.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is,” he choked. “I’ve been getting threats since I indicted those cops, and I haven’t exactly been on… anyone’s good side. I should never have started dating you.”

Like a slap in the face, that sting made it through the morphine. You jerked your hand out of his.

“That came out wrong. It’s true, though. I was selfish to think I could…” He gave a melancholy sigh as he sank back in the chair. “It will be safer if we keep our distance from now on. This will never happen to you again.”

You never imagined you could get stabbed and have your heart broken on the same day, or that the latter would hurt worse.

“Then what are you even doing here?!”

“I had to know you were OK. But as long as I’m getting death threats—”

“Wait, wait. You’re saying you’d rather give up being with me than give up a legal battle with powerful enemies?”

His eyes widened and he stared like a deer in the headlights, only where the deer was an insensitive workaholic, and the headlights were the blinding rays of truth. It wasn’t even a surprise that he hadn’t thought of it that way—this was every fight he’d had with an ex just before they broke up with him.

“I, uh—”

You grabbed his face and dragged him down into the softest kiss, which was not what he was expecting. He almost yelped (though it melted into a whine) when his fiery hot, coffee-flavored lips hit your cool ones. When he pulled back, lips wet and parted, his brow furrowed in confusion over still-widened eyes.

“You are… the sweetest.” Your hand lingered on his cheek as you gave a doped-up-on-painkillers smile. “The most selfless, noble… bravest… amazing man I have ever met. I love you so much.”

“I… what?”

“Rafael”—your thumb lazily stroked his cheek—“I know how much you care about me. Even though you’re married to your job and it’s frustrating as hell sometimes, I’ve never been insecure that you don’t love me enough. I know you never tell me about your cases because you want me to be able to sleep at night. You worry about me too much. And you always look so nervous whenever I leave, like you think I’m never coming back this time.

“So the fact that you would sacrifice your own happiness before you’d let an injustice go unanswered… that’s incredible. You do nothing but give a voice to the voiceless all day, working yourself to the bone without considering the cost to your personal life. You’re like a superhero, ADA Barba.”

A short breath of a laugh escaped his lips as his hand came up to the side of his face to cover yours. His eyes were watery, and he looked like he was about to break down again as he bitterly whispered, “A superhero who almost got you killed.”

“I’m not leaving you, you know.”

“Cariño. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t—couldn’t…”

“Nothing’s going to happen. It’ll be OK. I’m not leaving you alone.”

A tear wavered precariously close to the rim of his eyelid until he turned away, rubbing his face. It was gone when he turned back. “You could have died because of my fucking work! I’ve never given you the time you deserve. How do you still want to be around me?”

“Hey, someone has to be there to protect you when you get yourself in trouble,” you grinned.

Rafael Barba couldn’t take any more. He bent over the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around you, doing his best not to snag any of the many tubes coming out of you or put any weight on anything below your diaphragm, but hugging you to him as tightly as he could. You felt his trembling breathing in your hair, and hot wet spots pooling on your neck.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Your free arm closed over his back, stroking his broad, tense muscles through his shirt. “I’m really glad I didn’t die,” you whispered, finally allowing yourself to feel scared now that he was here. “I didn’t want to die yet. Not like that.”

“I’m sorry.” He breathed in, and his arms tightened protectively. “You have no idea how terrified I was. I’m so sorry…”

“Shh,” you whispered. You clung to him, soothed by his familiar cedar and citrus scent, fainter now after a long, harrowing day, mixed with the masculine smell of sweat.

“I’m glad you’re alive, too. I can’t lose you. I can’t. I love you more than anything.”

Soon—too soon, because you wanted to continue talking—you drifted to sleep in his arms. And once again too soon, you woke up with your entire abdomen on fire, and nurses bringing you pain medication. Rafael was still there, half asleep next to you in the narrow bed.

He didn’t leave you.

Even if it put you in danger, he would rather be beside you, making sure you were OK than cutting you out of his life and hoping the bad guys got the memo. He couldn’t put you through that pain, even if he could do it to himself. Especially when you pondered aloud to him whether you’d survived because you were thinking about him—that you refused to die before seeing him again, knowing what a wreck he would be.

Recovery was long, and interspersed with doing nothing but fall asleep when you’d rather stay awake, and not being able to sleep at all. Rafael (and his security detail) moved into your apartment when you were released from the hospital so he could take care of you—as grumpy and bossy and sarcastic as his bedside manner might be.

You swore you were going to sign up for Krav Maga or Cobra Kai or something once you could exercise again, since apparently you were not a secret knife-fighting ninja deep down. Next time, you wanted to be a badass who could fight back, and never let anyone harm your overzealous ADA when he kicked the hornet’s nest.

Eventually, you would convince him that it wasn’t his fault that bad guys had acted like bad guys. And he would convince you that taking care of you wasn’t a burden—that the emergency time off from work was worth it. He started replacing “sorry” with “I love you.”

In the end, while you wouldn’t say being stabbed was a good thing, or that you’d choose to be stabbed again if you had the option, it did ensure Heredio was put away for a long, long time. It left you with a cool scar, and a new catchphrase for expressing your displeasure—“I’d rather be stabbed again than do the dishes!”

Fine, it also left you jumpy and made your chest tight whenever you found yourself alone in an elevator.

But most importantly, it brought down the walls Rafael had been keeping up around himself. He talked to you more. You talked to each other more. And he remembered to—on occasion—take time out of his heroic, selfless life of battling injustice, and selfishly spend it with you.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

@beccabarba / @itsjustmyfantasyroom / @dianilaws / @permanentlydizzy / @mrsrafaelbarba / @madamsnape921 / @astrangegirlsmind / @neely1177 / @onerestein / @delia26 / @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes / @storiesofsvu

#Rafael Barba #Rafael Barba x Reader #my writing

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crowfootwrites · 3 years

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A Night on the Town [Rafael Barba x OC]

Mayans MC has been consuming my life recently, so I've mostly been posting SOA/Mayans content, but SVU's Rafael Barba took my fanfic virginity, so I wanted to post another Barba piece.

I am currently working on a very long Barba x OC fanfic (it currently stands at about 50,000 words) but I don't want to post any of it until it's done because I would feel so bad if I never finished it. I wrote this smutty little chapter, but I can't really fit into the larger piece anywhere right now, so I figured I'd post it as a standalone. I'm leaving it as my OC, Dahlia, because that's who I wrote it for.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut (seriously, the whole thing is smut); language; alcohol use; unwanted advances | Words: 3,575

Dahlia picked up the cell phone buzzing on the table and grinned to see the caller ID flashing “Sonny Carisi”.

“Sonny!” she exclaimed as she answered it. Rafael chuckled from the couch. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would actively want to be friends with Sonny, who grated his every last nerve; but to be fair, Dahlia was one of the friendliest people he knew, so he figured it was probably just him that was easily annoyed by Sonny’s overeager personality. He knew that Dahlia didn’t have too many friends in the city, besides her sister, so he was glad that she could talk to Sonny.

“Um, yes!” Dahlia said excitedly. “That sounds so fun!” There was a pause, punctuated by Dahlia’s quiet mhmm’s and yeah’s. Then, “Well, I don’t know if he’ll want to, but I’ll ask.”

Rafael groaned quietly. What was she going to try to rope him into? He’d had a long week and he really wanted nothing more than a calm night on the couch. He heard her put the phone back on the counter. He looked up at her, his eyebrow already quirked as she came around the couch to stand in front of him, hand planted on her hip. She smiled at him sweetly; so sweetly he could practically see the halo around her head. He was in for trouble.

“What?” he asked amusedly.

“Sonny and Amanda are going out to this new bar in Williamsburg, and they asked if we would like to join them,” she told him matter-of-factly.

Rafael sighed. “Mi amor, I’m so tired. It’s been a long week. I definitely think you should go if you want to, but I don’t know if I have it in me,” he said, watching her face for any sign of disappointment. There were none, which was strange. Dahlia was not good at hiding her emotions. One of his favorite things about her was how open she was with her feelings. So, this either meant that she wasn’t disappointed, or that he was about to lose a battle that hadn’t even started. He grimaced at the thought.

Suddenly, Dahlia was climbing over him on the couch, planting her knees and straddling his hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, all of her movements languid, which Rafael knew meant she was feeling some kind of way. She put on a pout and Rafael groaned, knowing he was doomed.

“It’s just so much more fun when we’re together, Rafa,” she whined. Her hips shifted a little in his lap and it immediately sent a jolt to his groin.

“No fair, niñita,” he mumbled, throwing his head back. He ran a cursory hand over her side, coming to rest on her ass.

Dahlia leaned forward so her lips were pressed against his ear. “I was planning on wearing a new dress that I think you’ll like,” she murmured, and Rafael shivered. “And if you come with me, I promise to make it worth your while.” She pulled back a little and when Rafael brought his eyes back down to meet hers, she was wearing a smirk that he desperately wanted to wipe off her face. His eyes flashed intensely, the green seeming brighter than usual, and Dahlia knew she had him. Honestly, she knew she had him before she even sat down, but she also never wanted to underestimate Rafael Barba.

Twenty minutes later, they were in their bedroom, Rafael trying (and mostly failing) to keep his hands off of Dahlia as she got ready. She had been right about the dress, he did like it, very much. It was a short, lemon yellow number, something Dahlia had called “fit & flare”, and in combination with her bright red hair, Rafael knew she’d be attracting all sorts of attention. Not that he minded. Whenever they went out, he thoroughly enjoyed watching other men’s faces after she came to sit on his lap or pulled him in by the lapels for a kiss.

He watched as she pulled on a pair of nude platform wedges and had to physically sit on his hands on the bed to stop himself from running a hand up her legs. She shut herself in the bathroom for a few moments to touch up her makeup. Rafael was, thankfully, still dressed from work, so he didn’t have to change, which would have made this battle a little more difficult for Dahlia. He re-buttoned his navy, pinstripe waistcoat and slipped his shoes back on, still not entirely ready to be back on the town after the day he’d had.

In the cab, Dahlia clung tightly to his arm, and he relished in the warmth coming from her. She was oddly quiet, staring directly ahead with a look of thorough concentration on her face.

“You alright?” he asked her quietly.

She glanced at him, then down at her lap. When she looked back at him again, she was grinning.

“I told you I’d make this worth your while, right?”

Rafael raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“Do you trust me?” she asked. Rafael narrowed his eyes but nodded. She held her hand out. “I need to see your phone for a minute.” Rafael’s heart thrummed. Dahlia had never once touched his phone, and he had no idea what she was about to do. Not that he was worried; he had nothing to hide from her. He just didn’t like being confused. He unlocked his phone and handed it to her. She quickly turned away from him, shielding what she was doing with her back. A few moments later, she was handing the phone back, and an app he had never seen was open on his screen.

Rafael stared at it in confusion. He looked back up at Dahlia for clarification, and she was grinning wickedly at him. She glanced up at the cabbie for a moment, then leaned into murmur to Rafael, “This controls the vibrator that I’m wearing tonight.”

Rafael’s face remained mostly controlled, but Dahlia saw the slight flexing of his jaw and she smirked at him again. His eyes flashed hot and she knew she had done well. He glanced down at the phone, then back up at Dahlia, his thumb sliding over the control button in the app. He watched her vigilantly as he pressed down, and a shudder racked through Dahlia, biting down on her lower lip.

Rafael grinned roguishly. “Oh, mi amor, you have definitely made this worthwhile,” he growled.

Dahlia winked at him, then put a hand gently on his arm. “I haven’t used this in public before, so I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to hide it.”

“I won’t overdo it.”

Just then, the cab pulled up outside of the bar, and Rafael helped Dahlia out, a million questions running through his mind. How long has she had this? Has she been sitting on this idea for a while? This is something she actively wants to do? She was handing over complete control to him all night long, in public, and while Dahlia preferred a more submissive role in the bedroom, this seemed to be something of a departure from her preferred turn-ons. Rafael realized the level of trust that she was giving him and he was determined not to take advantage.

The bar was in an old, nondescript building with exposed brick behind peeling paint. A small neon sign and a few small clumps of people smoking outside heralded their arrival, otherwise Rafael might have missed it completely. They made their way inside, and Rafael noted a few heads already turning to glance at Dahlia as they passed. He bit back a grin. Maybe this night would be fun after all.

They found Sonny and Amanda almost immediately, at a cozy table near the back corner of the bar. The inside was one long room, with a bar that ran the length of the building up one side, and booths and tables down the other. The whole place was decorated with bistro lights hung from the ceiling and palm trees scattered all around. It was loud inside, dance music pulsing out of the speakers, and the drone of drunk patrons talking and laughing. Fortunately, it was a little quieter at the table Sonny and Amanda had grabbed, but not by much.

“Dahlia! Barba!” Sonny called in greeting as they approached the table. He and Amanda both rose to hug Dahlia and each shook Rafael’s hand, not daring to touch him more than that. It always amused Dahlia how afraid people seemed to be of Rafael. But if she was being completely honest, it was kind of a turn-on.

When Sonny turned to Amanda to ask her something, Dahlia glanced up at Rafael from the cocktail menu. “Scotch, guapo?” He nodded at her with a smile and she excused herself to the bar. He couldn’t help but stare as she walked away, her hips swaying beneath the swinging of her dress. She leaned forward a little on the bar, trying to track down the bartender, and Rafael exhaled hard at the slight lifting of her hem. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it to stare down at the app. He spied the pulse setting, turned the intensity down, not wanting to startle her too much, then pressed the button.

He watched as Dahlia’s entire body stiffened, her head whirling around the glare at him. But he saw the playful smile on her lips and winked at her. He watched as she turned away, but crossed her legs at the calves, clenching her thighs. He didn’t notice the fascination with which Sonny and Amanda stared at him staring at Dahlia.

By the time Dahlia returned to the table, carrying Rafael’s scotch and her own Aviation, Sonny had pulled Rafael’s attention into a conversation about their most recent case. Dahlia watched as Sonny engaged with Rafael with his usual vigor and friendliness and smiled to herself as Rafael responded shortly and with just a hint of condescension. He was nothing if not consistent, and he was consistently her grouchy, self-assured man. She set his scotch on the table in front of him, then sat, chatting with Amanda about work and how Jesse was doing. Eventually, conversations converged, and Rafael was able to turn his attention back to Dahlia. He gazed at her for a moment, before sliding his hand into his pocket and hitting the button again. Dahlia’s body tensed again and she exhaled hard, dropping her forehead on her palm, elbow propped on the table.

“You ok, doll?” Sonny asked curiously. Amanda turned to look at Dahlia too and Rafael noticed the flush creeping across her cheeks.

She flashed them a smile that was all teeth and choked out, “I’m fine. Just… cramps.”

Rafael bit back a laugh. He slid his hand over to her thigh and gave it a squeeze, thoroughly enjoying watching her squirm. She looked at him and rolled her eyes, before crossing her legs tightly, knees stacked. Rafael watched as she took a deep breath and her muscles finally relaxed. He pressed the button again and observed a very different response from Dahlia this time around. Her eyes blinked heavily and she bit her lower lip, breathing a sigh that only Rafael could hear. She shifted in her seat and gazed at him hungrily. As Sonny held Amanda’s attention in the background, Dahlia picked her phone up off the table and pulled up her texts to Rafael.

DR: Te deseo, Rafa. No se si puedo esperar hasta que llegamos a casa. (I want you, Rafa. I don’t know if I can wait until we get home.)

When the phone buzzed in Rafael’s pocket, he pulled it out to look. He let out a low whistle, impressed with Dahlia’s multitasking capabilities. She had already turned her attention back to the conversation at the table, chatting happily as if she hadn’t just sent a dirty text to her boyfriend who also happened to be getting her all riled up.

He swallowed hard, considering how he wanted to play this. His fingers flew over his phone as he typed out his response.

RB: Well, you’ll just have to, querida. I want you to have plenty of time to think about all the ways I’m going to have you when we get home.

Dahlia glanced down to scan the incoming text and Rafael watched vigilantly as his words sunk in

and she shivered. She turned briefly to make eye contact with him, a sly look on her face. She turned away to face Amanda, declaring, “I love this song!” She grabbed Amanda’s hand and they made their way towards the center of the bar where a throng of bodies had already started gathering as the night wore on. Rafael looked on as Amanda and Dahlia danced carelessly through a few songs, their bodies flush against one another. Seeing the way Dahlia moved, and knowing what she was hiding from everyone but him, turned him on immensely, and he used every ounce of self-control he had to turn his mind away from the fact that he was half-hard.

Sonny turned to glance at Rafael with a laugh. “They look like they’re having a good time,” he chuckled, taking another sip of his beer. Rafael grinned. Dahlia glanced back to their table and winked at him. She looked dazzling to Rafael, her hair and dress shifting colors under the bar lights, her smile wide and radiant. She knew he wouldn’t join her on the dance floor, and so she teased him. Well, he could tease her right back, couldn’t he?

His phone in hand, Rafael turned the setting up one notch and held the control button down for a few long seconds. His eyes followed Dahlia, who had her back pressed against Amanda as they danced, as she bit her lower lip, her eyes fluttering, her hand traveling down as though she might touch herself then and there. Rafael felt another twitch in his pants, imagining her grinding against him that way. Dahlia appeared to suddenly remember where she was and straightened up a little, concealing her movements as dancing. But she shot a playful glare at Rafael, who tipped his head towards her. Dahlia turned towards Amanda and said something in her ear, then Amanda returned to the table as Dahlia headed back to the bar.

“Dahlia’s got this round,” Amanda offered as she slumped breathlessly in her chair. She turned to Rafael and added playfully, “You’ve got your hands full with that one, Barba.”

He smirked at her. “Don’t I know it,” he agreed. His gaze traveled back to Dahlia. She finished speaking to the bartender, who turned away, and Rafael’s eyes narrowed as she was approached by a guy who openly leered at her. He looked to be about Dahlia’s age, in very tight jeans and a fitted flannel shirt. Rafael snorted to himself at the beanie the guy was wearing. He looked like a try-hard, the kind of guy Dahlia could eat alive. Dahlia had turned to face him as he spoke to her and Rafael could see her shaking her head at him, smiling, trying to let him down easy. The guy appeared not to be taking no for an answer, and Rafael felt a flicker of anger lighting inside him. But before he could make a move, Dahlia was waltzing back towards him, holding a few beer bottles by their necks and another glass of scotch in her other hand. The man at the bar appeared to follow her, but Dahlia quickly dropped their drinks on the table, then seated herself in Rafael’s lap, where he immediately wound an arm around her waist protectively. He glared at the man, who scowled and changed course back towards the end of the bar.

Only then did Rafael realize that his turned-on girlfriend was sitting (and doing some almost imperceptible grinding) on his lap. His hand slipped to the hem of her dress as she returned to conversation with Sonny and Amanda as if nothing was amiss. Teasingly, he let his fingers wander along the inside of her thighs. When he reached her center, he clenched his jaw at the damp heat radiating off of her. He hastily withdrew his hand and slammed back the rest of his scotch.

“Amor, I’m sorry, I just remembered that I agreed to prep a motion for O’Dwyer,” he lied effortlessly. “Would it be alright if we head home?”

Dahlia glanced over her shoulder at him, an impish grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Of course, baby,” she cooed. She turned back to Amanda and Sonny, who both studied her skeptically.

“Thank you for the invite, this was so fun!” she exclaimed, hopping off Rafael’s lap. “We’ll have to do it again soon,” she added, pressing quick kisses to Amanda and Sonny’s cheeks in turn. They waved their goodbyes as Dahlia practically dragged Rafael out of the bar.

As they stood waiting for a taxi, Dahlia wound her hands around his neck, crashing her lips onto his frantically. Rafael did his best to keep up with her, noting the way she moved her hips against his. It took every bit of his strength not to start something right there on the sidewalk. Blessedly, he saw a taxi coming and flagged it down, nudging Dahlia into the backseat.

She was like a woman possessed, and by the time they stumbled into their apartment, Rafael was tearing at her clothes, eager for some release after a night of teasing. He pushed her up against the wall in their entryway, his lips locked on hers, his hands slithering up her thighs and grabbing her ass possessively.

“Do you know how hard it was to look at you bent over the bar in this dress?” he growled into the slope of her neck.

“How hard, Rafa?” she panted, working the buckle on his belt.

He grabbed one of her hands forcefully and pressed it against the bulge straining in his dress slacks. “That hard.”

Dahlia shuddered, her breath coming heavy and hot against his ear, as she finally managed to undo his belt and the zipper on his pants with her free hand. With a low moan, she pushed his pants and boxer briefs down his legs and ran her fingertips nimbly up the length of his cock. Every muscle in her body trembled with tension, her pussy clenching repeatedly, aching for some kind of release.

Rafael nipped hard at her neck, loving the breathy whimpers his mouth elicited from her. He tugged the waist of her dress up and she lifted her arms so he could pull it over her head and toss it to the side. He made quick work of her bra, and yanked her red panties down to her ankles. He lifted them up on one of his fingers and leered at her with a smirk.

“These were a good investment,” he mused, before tossing them to the side as well.

He grabbed Dahlia’s shoulders roughly and turned her so her heaving chest was pressed flush against the wall. He ran his hands gingerly down the curve of her spine before landing a sharp smack on her ass. Her breathing hitched and turned into a whine as Rafael spanked her again. He ran a slow finger between her legs finding her slick between her folds. He had to have her.

While Rafael considered himself a very generous lover, and always made it a point to take his time with foreplay, he needed to be inside her, a need that gnawed at the edge of his consciousness as he lined himself up with her entrance. His left hand snaked around to grab at her throat, applying a little pressure as he thrust himself into her. A loud whimper spilled over her lips as his right hand found its way to her clit, rubbing firm circles as she rocked against his hand.

After a long night of teasing, Dahlia was already on edge. It didn’t take long for Rafael’s clever fingers to push her over. She came hard, wailing his name with her cheek pressed harshly against the wall, clamping down on his cock inside her. The increase in pressure around him had Rafael reeling; he buried himself deep inside her a few more times until he came, grunting her name, interspersed with a string of profanities. He collapsed against her back, working to even out his breathing.

“Fuck, Raf,” she huffed. “I’ve been thinking about you doing that since the first time you hit that goddamn button.”

Rafael chuckled, wincing slightly as he pulled out of Dahlia. She turned to face him, resting her shoulders against the cool wall as her hips swayed forward. She pushed her hair haphazardly out of her flushed face, her eyes sparkling in satisfaction.

“Shower?” she purred, feeling the stickiness dripping between her thighs. She ran a finger teasingly down Rafael’s chest.

He eyed her greedily, need still simmering in his belly. “Oh, we’re not done yet, mi amor. I promised to have you multiple ways, and I am nothing if not a man of my word.”

Dahlia’s eyes widened as Rafael wrapped his arms around her hips. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, yelping as he carried her purposefully to their bedroom for a little more fun.

#law and order svu #svu #svu fanfiction #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba x oc #mayans mc #ada rafael barba #rafael barba one shot

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inactive-shroomiehomie · 3 years

Text

Holly & Jolly pt.3

Other Parts: Part 1 | Part 2

Square: Holiday Party

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 1489

Warnings: lots of crimmus smut !! (car sex)

A/N: I have nothing to say. Maybe get a cool rag before reading? ;)

Stepping out of your car, you cursed loudly at how cold it was. You wore a gorgeous dark red, laced sleeved formal dress. It cut off about knee high and to match you wore a pair of beige, glossy flats. The holiday party might have just been at Olivia’s place, but she did want everyone to dress nicely. Even your puffy winter coat couldn’t warm you up right now.

You grabbed the box of Holiday cookies from your passenger seat and made your way inside the building and out of the cold. On your way in, you met Carisi out at the elevator. He couldn’t get much dressier than he did at work, but he did try to keep sneaking cookies from you. You playfully smacked your friend’s hand.

“Since when do you wear dresses? You don’t even dress that nice for court.”

“Olivia said to dress nice, so..”

In the few moments of silence that passed, the elevator came down. Just as it dinged, Carisi dramatically looked over at you with his eyebrows raised, “Are you and Barba-”

“I’m hoping so. But we are not-” You swatted his hand again as you stepped in the elevator, “-talking bout this anymore. I don’t wanna jinx anything.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed, tucking his hands into his pockets.

The elevator was short, but when you arrived at Olivia’s everyone from the squad was already there. Noah and Rollin’s girls were even dressed up in cute little dinner outfits. The apartment was lined floor to roof with green and red and the delectable smell of turkey was enough to warm you up when you walked in.

“Hey! (L/N), Carisi! I’m so glad you could make it.” Olivia hugged you both, taking the box of cookies from you to go to the kitchen. “You can put your coats on my bed.”

Carisi took your coat, ignoring your protest. But you gave up and just let him take it. You walked into the kitchen, meeting up with Rollins and Kat.

“Daaaamn, detective. You really know how to clean up.” Kat raised her glass to you with a playful wink.

“She’s not wrong, (Y/N).”

“Oh, shut up.” You laughed lightly, picking up a bottle of white wine and pouring yourself a glass.

You looked around the room slyly as you sip your wine. You brush some of your hair away from your face as you see Rafael walk in. You stop drinking your wine to take in the view. He wore a dark green dress shirt with a deep, red, striped tie and his black blazer draped over his arm. His hair is messier than normal, but still fixed up. Possibly tossled by the wind.

He hugged Liv, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek and walked to the back to put his blazer up. Did... did he even see you?

You hummed annoyed, tossing back the rest of your wine.

“Woah.” Rollins departed from her and Kat’s conversation to look at you refilling your glass. “Maybe have some crackers with that?”

“I’m fine. Just a little annoyed.”

“Why’s that?”

You glanced over your shoulder to see who else was around before speaking. “Rafael came over today and...we kind of made up. I just- I don’t know. I wanted to dress pretty for him.”

Kat and Rollins shared a look and laughed quietly.

“What?! Is it so much to ask for a little attention when I make an effort?” You scolded them quietly while they laughed.

“You sound like you’re married already.” Rollins snickered.

“Ugh, you two are no help.” You huffed, walking off to go sit down with the kiddos.

The party went along nicely and the dinner was amazing. Olivia is anamazing cook and so is Carisi. After dinner everyone lingered around the living room, playing with the kids and exchanging stories. The whole party, Rafael went the entire time without speaking to you. But just as everything had settled, he walked up behind you, leaning against the back of the chair you were sitting in with a glass of scotch.

“So I exist to you now?” You whispered to him.

Rafael hummed as if he were thinking, but you knew he was being a smart-ass. “No, I knew you existed.” He leaned in closer so you could only hear him, “I’m just trying to hold myself back from tearing that gorgeous dress off you right here.”

You almost choked on your wine, but played it off, waving your hand at Olivia who looked at you concerned. Your face started to heat up from his words. You had to sit your wine down and excuse yourself.

“I’m uh..” You pointed both thumbs toward the door, “I’m gonna go down to my car for a sec. I’ll be right back.”

You flashed Rafael a look, which he returned, and stepped out into the hall. By the time you made it outside and into your car, Rafael was on your heels. You both climbed in and he was immediately on you. The kiss was nowhere near classy. A dance of tongues sliding hungrily against one another, hands tangling in hair, and skin heating up quick against skin.

Rafael messed with the zipper on your back, making quick work of sliding it down and off of your shoulders. His lips started moving down your body. Leaving a stinging hot trail from your jaw and to the crest above your breasts.

“Fuck, Raffy..” You moaned, “I missed this.”

“Wanna move to the back seat?” Rafael asked, sucking at the skin just underneath of one of your bra cups, where no one could see.

“You better hurry up.”

You moved him to climb into the back seat, shimmying your underwear off and into the floorboard.

“Fuck, just can’t wait can you?” Rafael growled, climbing above you and throwing your legs onto his shoulders.

“I’ve been waiting for you for 4 months, Rafael. Hasn’t been ea-” You cut yourself off, your jaw dropping into a silent scream as you feel his tongue flatten against your cunt. One of your hands gripped his hair tightly while your thighs did the same.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..” You whined as Rafael sucked and lapped at you.

You moan low in your throat, patting Rafael quickly on his shoulder, “Rafa, baby, I’m not gonna make it...”

When he removed himself from you, you could barely catch your breath and the sight of his chin drench with your juices made it even harder. Rafael reached into his pocket to pull out a condom, which made you laugh.

“Someone was expecting this.”

“Well, not exactly in this setting, but you bet your sweet, sweet ass I did.”

You giggled excitedly as he climbed over you, condom already on and good to go. Rafael gripped onto your hip with one hand while the other helped position himself inside of you. He rushed himself in slow, the both of you holding your breath as he did.

“You really have been waiting, huh? Your pretty, little cunt is so tight and ready for me, Carina. Can barely fit myself in there.”

When he bottomed out, you finally let out the moan you were holding in, along with all of your breath. Rafael laughed softly and leaned over you, holding himself steady against one of the doors.

Rafae moved at a quick, but steady pace. You dug your heels into where his thighs and ass meet, earning a groan from the man of sin above you.

“Holy shit, Rafa, baby, I’m gonna cum already...”

“Right there with you...” His hot breath against your ear made your back arch and your hand latch onto his hair.

He picked up his pace, trying his best to have you come undone before he did. You could feel tears slipping down the side of your face and just knew you were going to have to fix your makeup before going back in. But it’s all sooo worth it.

WIth just a few more thrusts, you felt the big knot in your stomach come loose and you were screaming his name as you clung onto him for dear life. Not far behind, Rafael came with the same intensity, practically sounding like a pornstar when he came. Everything might have been quick, but it was some of the best sex the two of you have had.

He didn’t dare move as the two of you caught your breath. He just looked down at your mascara stained face and smiled wide. You rolled your head up to look at him through barely open eyes, “What?”

“This was one hell of a Christmas present.” Rafael smirked, leaning down to capture your lips with his.

You laughed into the kiss, massaging the place where your nails had dug into his scalp. He hummed at the feeling. When you pulled away, you looked up to him with a devious look in your eyes.

“Round two at my place?”

-FIN-

Tags: @thatesqcrush, @ritajammer21

#rafael barba imagine #rafael barba #rafael barba oneshot #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #Raul Esparza #raul esparza oneshot #law and order #law and order svu #law and order x reader #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu fanfic #thatesqcrush holiday bingo

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thatesqcrush · 5 years

Text

Señorita, Ch. 4

Rafael Barba x Reader. Set right after The Undiscovered Country. Prompt: what if Rafael loses his swimsuit while on vacation. For @garturbo CW: NSFW! Oral sex; language.

Tags: @madpanda75 @ottosuricato @delia26 @dreila03 @sass-and-suspenders @glimmerglittergirl @melsquared79 @mommakat32 @niyashell - anyone else just ask.

***

Rafael leaned on the railing, watching the sunbathers on the beach below as sipped on his scotch. A playful shriek caught his attention, and he looked towards the sound. A young couple was playing in the water; the man had grabbed the woman he was with from behind and twirled her into the water. Rafael watched as the woman playfully shoved the man away. She then jumped into his arms, the man grabbing and holding her by her thighs as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Rafael looked away; the feeling of yearning gnawed at his belly. You were gone; the best parts of his trip were now over. Rafael imagined you were back wherever you were from, moving on to the next exciting part of your life.

***

Rafael watched you as you walked ahead of him towards the water. Earlier that morning, over breakfast, you had learned that the hotel had a secret nude beach just off the main beach. You waggled your eyebrows as you discussed it with Rafael, pleading to check it out. While Rafael wasn’t a prude by any means, he was a bit hesitant to go during the day. However, he conceded after some figurative arm twisting from you, he agreed to go at night.

“Here’s the sign! ¡Playa nudista!” You called out excitedly. Before Rafael could say anything, you stripped off your oversized tunic coverup and ran into the water. Your coverup flew and landed on the ground, followed by your bikini top.

It was after midnight and the light of the moon shone against the water, creating an ethereal effect. Just when Rafael thought you couldn’t become more beautiful, there you were under the moonlight, captivating him.

“Come on Rafael, the water is amazing!” you called for him.

Rafael nodded, his eyes taking over your half nude form. He stripped off shirt as he waded into the water. His shirt landed next to yours in a heap. Approaching you, Rafael tugged you so that you were close to him. You stared into each other’s eyes before Rafael dipped his mouth to yours, capturing you in a passionate kiss. You moaned into his mouth as you leaned into him. Rafael hesitantly pulled away.

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Rafael admitted, cupping your face. The waves around you started to crash harder against your legs.

“Let’s not discuss that, Rafael,” you replied, turning away unable to to meet his gaze, feeling your face grow hot despite the cool ocean breeze. “Not ahora.”

Rafael pulled your face to his once more and kissed you again. Your lips tangled against his. You had one arm wrapped around Rafael’s neck, and with the other reached down to the front of his shorts. You palmed Rafael’s cock, that was getting harder under your touch. Rafael groaned, kissing your more intently. His moves his kisses to your neck and up to your earlobe where he nipped you.

Unbeknownst to the the two of you, a large crest was approaching. The wave crashed against the two of you; the force knocking the two of you over. You stumbled as you gathered your footing. Wiping your eyes you looked over to Rafael and burst into laughter. Rafael sputtered while glaring at you. “Yes, I lost my shorts. Hilarious.”

You waded back over to him and grabbed his hand. You looked around to make sure you were alone. Confirming that no one else was present at the beach, you guided him back to the shore and pulled him down to the sand.

“Makes my job easier,” you purred, straddling the tops of his thighs. Rafael shivered as you lowered your mouth to his member. Rafael groaned as you took him into your mouth. The knock of the wave had caused him to lose his erection but he was quickly responding to your tongue. Rafael’s hand tangled into your hair as you continued to take his full length into your mouth. You moaned around his cock, the vibrations causing Rafael to shiver.

“God, you’re such a good cock sucker,” Rafael groaned as he sat on his elbows watching his erection slip in and out of your lips. You hollowed your cheeks bobbing faster, enjoying how thick and heavy his cock was in your mouth. You relished in the salty taste of his pre-cum. You sat fully up on his thighs, taking a breather. You spat onto your hand and gave Rafael a couple of strokes, enjoying the sight beneath you.

“You like that cock, don’t you cariño?” Rafael murmured. The sand against his bare ass irritated him but he didn’t care. What you were doing canceled it out.

You lowered your mouth back onto him, taking him deeply once more. “Mmmm-hmmm,” you hummed.

Rafael’s hips jerked and you knew he wasn’t going last. You used the tips of your fingernails to rake down Rafael’s thighs and it was his undoing. Gripping your head tightly, Rafael choked out your name as he released into your mouth. You quickly and greedily swallowed it all as you used one hand to lightly cup his balls.

You pulled off with a wet pop. Some cum had dribbled out of the corner of your mouth and you made a big show of wiping it with your thumb and sucking it clean.

“Mmm, delightful,” you grinned. Rafael there his head back onto the sand, his hands covering his face.

“Woman! You’re going to be the death of me. Damn.”

You were about to quip a cheesy line about the French calling orgasms “la petit mort,” when something caught your eye.

“Mira, su traje de baño, Rafael.” You bounced off of Rafael and grabbed his swim trunks that were being pulled back into the ocean.

Ringing them out you tossed them to Rafael, who caught them.

Grabbing your clothes, you redressed. Rafael took your hand into his and kissed the tops of your knuckles. “Now let’s go finish this back in the room.”

***

Rafael turned to the couple again; this time they were holding hands, as they waded through the water. Rafael balled one hand into a fist as he swallowed back his drink in one movement. He banged on the rail, frustrated. He walked over to the bar cart and poured another drink before he made his way out of his room and back onto the beach. As he made his way through the warm sand, he noticed that there was a hammock set up for hotel patrons. Removing his shirt, Rafael cautiously made his way onto the netted hammock. He set his drink onto his chest, while still effectively holding it, and closed his eyes. Rafael thought about how his abuela would tell him tales of how the ocean held healing properties; Rafael hoped it was true. The trip to Cuba was meant to heal him; hadn’t planned on heartbreak.

TBC

#my fics #my writing #rafael barba and reader #life is short and barba is hot #rafael barba fanfic #barba and reader #barba x reader #rafael barba x reader

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 7*

I'm sorry I cut the last one at a REALLY bad part and this chapter HAS to end here. I'M SO SORRY It's so short!

....Especially because I think I'm gonna wait to post the rest tomorrow. {later today?}

I'm so sorry don't hate me!!!!

PART 8 IS HERE!!!

Tag List

@wanniiieeee

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@milkshqke

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@aprildecker-blog

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

“Hey baby I grabbed us some champagne,” Nathan smiled, coming back with two glasses of champagne. “Hey guys isn't she amazing?” He acknowledged the others.

“She really is,” Olivia smiled back.

“Hey So--sweetie, I know that this is your big night. But I've got a really big case tomorrow so I need to take off. Are you going to be okay?” Nathan made a “Sorry” face.

You looked back at him, stunned. Was he really going to take off on your big night? You looked at the group of your family who didn't seem as offended as you felt; which was weird, because they usually feel more protective of you than you do.

“Are you serious?” Rafael suddenly came up from behind you out of nowhere. “You're going to abandon your girlfriend on the biggest night of her life?”

“Rafael.. I don't think you need to be so hard on him,” Olivia told him through gritted teeth.

Something was going on. Something Rafael was clearly not in on. He looked at Liv, still confused.

“How are you not more upset about this?” He asked her. “I'm the biggest lawyer in New York and I'm not even leaving for a case!”

“I just think that you should let Nathan do what he needs to do,” Olivia insisted.

“Whatever,” Rafael rolled his eyes while You looked between all of them with a super confused look on your face.

“I mean if you have to go, then you have to go. I'll see you tomorrow,” You smiled awkwardly at Nathan.

“Thank you baby I promise I'll make it up to you,” he smiled. “I love you very much and congratulations again I'm so proud of you!” He said before running off into the crowd.

“Can you believe the nerve of that guy?” Rafael scoffed

“Why do you care so much?” You suddenly turned back to him with an angry look.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you care what my boyfriend does?” You asked him again angrily. How dare he just insult Nathan like that.

“I don't,” Rafael scoffed.

“Bullshit,” you spat. “You constantly drag on him at work. He tells me things, Rafael. That’s what two people do when they love each other, they TELL each other things,” You enunciated, making it clear this was bigger than Nathan.

“So why are you so mean to him?” You accused him.

Olivia, Nick and Fin watched the fight unfolding between you two in nervousness, looking around as if they were waiting for something to pop off quickly.

“I just don't think that he's good enough for you!” Rafael finally yelled, causing the others to gasp softly.

“Barba, I really don't think that now is the time to start this…” Amaro tried whispering to Rafael, but he was too angry to hear anything.

“I'm sorry, he's not good enough for me?!” You laughed sarcastically. “Then tell me Rafael,” you started, with tears starting to form. “Who is good enough for me?”

Before Rafael could answer, you heard someone tapping on a mic. You looked to the stage to see Nathan standing there with a huge smile. You looked to the left and saw Sonny and Amanda had returned with food watching anxiously. You looked at Rafael who was staring in horror. You felt your heart racing.

“Please don't be happening….” You begged Silently.

“Hello all. I don't know if you know me but I'm Nathan Price, Y/N’s boyfriend. I know that this is the biggest night of her life, I know it's something she's wanted for a very long time, and I am so proud of her.” He looked at you with love and affection.

“And I know that tonight is all about her and her album, and her accomplishments and I don't want to take away from that but..”

“No no no…” you thought you heard Rafael whisper. You glanced over but Nathan started talking before you could see him.

“Y/N could you come up here please?” He asked.

Everyone in the room turned to look at you. You took a shaky breath and made your way up to the stage. You could feel the hot lights burning down on you like the sun. You knew that you should be absolutely ecstatic In This moment, if it was going to be what you expected it to be.

“I love you so much Y/N and I am so proud to call you mine,” he started. “And I want to be able to call you mine for the rest of my life so…” he knelt down and pulled out a huge diamond ring.

“Will you marry me?”

You could hear the whole room gasp and then go so silent, you could hear a pin drop in the room.

You looked out into the crowd searching for Rafael's face to see if he was excited for you or something else. But all you could see was the bright lights, nothing else. You felt your hands shaking, your whole body was shaking, your breath was quickening, you were sweating. You should be absolutely happy in this moment, here was this great man, asking you to be his.. his? Like you were his property? Whatever. He's asking to spend the rest of his life with you and he was a good kind man. And you didn't have anyone else.

After a very long time of you in your head, in a very awkward silence Nathan jokingly whispered. “Kind of leaving me hanging here babe,” with a nervous laugh.

“I am.. I.. well..” You took a deep breath and put on the biggest smile you could.

“Of course I will, Nathan,” You answered as tears were lining your eyes. You knew that people would think that you were crying in happiness, but you knew that they were for a different reason. Nathan smiled hugely and put the ring on your finger and then picked you up and spun you around.

“Now it's the happiest day of my life!” He laughed.

Afterwards you went and found your family in the crowd. They were all smiling hugely.

You knew this was going to happen didn't you? You asked

“Maybe... Olivia smiled. You looked over to Kelsey and Kenny. “And you too? Maybe…” Kenny Laughed.

You looked at Kelsey, who had a guilty look on her face. This is exactly why she was trying to talk you out of being sad last night. She knew that Nathan was going to ask you to spend the rest of his life with him, to trap you. Trap you shouldn't be the first thing you think of when being engaged you realized. Then you also realized that Rafael was nowhere to be seen.

“Where did Rafa go?” You asked innocently and you saw everyone's faces but Nathan's turned into weird looks.

“Oh I think he left,” Kelsey piped up. “I think he actually did have a case in the morning,'' she added with a smirk. You wanted to yell at her that he wouldn't do that, especially after he gave Nathan such a hard time.

You wanted to yell at her that she should have minded her own fucking business, and now she was setting you up to be stuck for the rest of your life. You wanted to tell her that a best friend would never let their best friend be anything but happy. But instead you just smiled sadly and said:

“I guess so,”

Outside the party, Rafael was standing outside practically hyperventilating. He couldn't believe that he had screwed this up so bad. He couldn't believe that he didn't stand up and say something while that stupid prick was talking. He couldn't believe that he hadn't said anything sooner. He regretted so many things, so many times and now he really had lost his chance and he'd have to live with it forever. He broke down crying as he sadly walked away from the party and you, forever.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu fanfiction #caught in the storm

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tintinxtintin · 3 years

Text

quarantine sex {*} - rafael barba

-based on @alloveroliver 's smut prompt "lay back and touch yourself. i want to watch."

warnings: nsfw, dirty talk, female masturbation, p in v penetration, slight daddy kink

note: the spacing in between the paragraphs in inconsistent and i don't know how to fix it. sorry if it bothers you :(

words: 1k+

------------------------------------------------------------

you felt for the people negatively affected by the mandatory lockdown. you realy did. but for the record, this quarantine had been doing wonders for yours and rafael's sex life. before, you two were lucky if you got to have a quickie before bed after coming home from work, tired and worn out.

you always got home first. you'd straighten the place up, start dinner, and sometimes even start a hot shower for rafael to come home to. then he'd stumble through the door an hour later, shrug off his coat, greet you with a half hug and kiss on your forehead before making his way to the bathroom to wash away the stresses of his day.

now that both your offices were closed until further notice, you and rafael were making up for lost time. you'd turned your shared apartment into a second rate sex shop. toys were scattered about the place (rafael's favorite was the bathroom). there wasn't a single room that hadn't been subjected to you and rafael's intimacy, and you absolutely loved it.

everyday seemed to bring something new. just last night you'd laid on your back on the bed, your head just hanging off the edge, with rafael standing over you, his cock shoved into your mouth. he loved watching you suck him off from upside down, and you loved watching the pleasure completely take over his face. his brows scrunched together, and his mouth formed a slight 'o' shape. he'd grabbed a handful of your breasts and kneaded your nipples. the sight was so arousing you had to press your legs together to stop you from coming on the spot.

tonight didn't seem like it would be any different. after spending the day cuddled up on the couch watching netflix, you got up to use the restroom. while washing your hands you heard rafael's stern voice. had he been talking to you and you hadn't been paying attention? you carefully opened the bathroom door and poked your head out, listening for any indication that he was talking to you.

after a moment, you head him speak again.

"there's nothing i can do about it, carisi. either get him to confess or let him go. that's all there is to it." rafael let out a groan and threw his phone down, looking around for you.

"cariño? where'd you go?"

"bathroom. be out in a second," you said. you finished up drying your hands and headed back out into the living room. your boyfriend was now sitting on the edge of the couch, watching you. you walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing a quick kiss on your stomach.

"you sound so sexy when you get frustrated with people," you said, running your hands through his salt and pepper hair.

rafael looked up at you, the lust becoming apparent in his eyes. his lips turned into a smirk and he began to rub his hands against your ass, gripping it.

"oh yeah? you like when i talk like that?"

"yeah, it turns me on." you smiled a little, letting rafael know that you were in the mood. he began lifting up your shirt, leaving a trail of kisses as he went.

"hmm, well you know what would turn me on?"

you raised your eybrow at him, willing him to keep talking.

"you in the kitchen, sitting on the island, pleasuring yourself." rafael was at your tits now. he pulled the shirt all the way off and attached his mouth to one of your breasts, running his tongue against the hardening nipple. you felt yourself getting wet.

"your wish is my command, papi." you pulled away from him then, a tiny groan leaving his lips. you swayed your hips as you walked over to the kitchen island. you knew he was staring at your ass, you didn't even have to look. teasing him, you hooked your hands into the waistband of your shorts and pushed them down your legs slowly. he groaned once again at the sight of your bare ass, the realization that you'd been naked underneath your pants becoming too much for him.

you turned back towards him, put your arms up on the marble countertop, and hoisted yourself up. your eyes locked on his. he was sneaking looks down at your bare pussy.

"what do you want me to do now, rafi?" you made your voice innocent and seductive; it was dripping with arousal.

"i want you to lay back and touch yourself. i want to watch."

you did as told, licking your fingers and bringing your hand down to your center. you began to rub over it slowly to tease rafael even more. you noticed now that he was shaking his shorts off, his boxers following suit. his cock sprang to life, erect and beautiful. he grabbed it in his hand, but made no motion to stroke it.

your fingers slid through your folds, causing your hips to buck for more friction. rafael couldn't miss the moan that escaped your lips; it was loud and sexy. his cock began to twitch in his hand, but still he didn't attempt to jerk it. you watched him watch you, his eyes glued to your hands sliding into yourself. for a moment, he just stood there and looked, until suddenly, he started walking towards you.

"i don't remember saying you could finger yourself, y/n. i'm pretty sure i said touch yourself." you could feel him now; his cock was brushed up against your leg. he was staring down at your unmoved fingers positioned inside your hole.

"i want to be the only thing going inside you tonight." his voice. the raspy seductive sound made your pussy clench, and he noticed. you couldn't bare not moving anymore, you needed something. your fingers began moving again, getting into a rhythm. rafael raised an eyebrow. without warning, he pulled your fingers out, lined himself up with your dripping entrance, and slammed into you.

you squealed and arched your back off the island. rafael didn't move, he just let his cock sit inside you, teasing. you met his eyes and pleaded with him to move, to give you more, but he didn't budge.

"papi, please." the desperation in your voice seemed to jump him, and to your delight, he pounded into you, giving you no mercy.

"fuck rafi! you feel so good!" rafael was a sucker for dirty talk in bed, particularly things that praised him or his performance. he liked knowing how good he could make you feel, and he wasn't shy of telling you how you felt either.

his hand moved to rub your clit, eliciting a moan from you.

"you're pussy's so fucking tight, fuck!" you were clenching around him now, feeling that familiar bliss buildup in your core. rafael didn't let up. you could feel yourself coming closer to the edge; you knew you wouldn't last much longer.

"i'm... gonna... cum!" you squealed, eye rolling to the back of your head. this was pure ecstasy, you were sure of it. he still had a hand rubbing your clit, the pleasure becoming almost too much for you.

"cum for me y/n. i wanna feel you drench my cock." you let out another moan and within seconds, you were coming all over rafael. his name rolled off your tongue during your orgasm, which caused rafael to slam harder.

"take my fucking cock, baby. take this cum." his breaths became erratic and unsteady; he was close. you clenched around him once more, knowing it would send him over. you were correct, rafael came inside you, groaning your name while doing so.

he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your neck before moving to pull out of you. your arma came up and around him, unwilling to let him go.

"no. stay inside me. i wanna keep feeling you." he chuckled but obliged, moving just so that you both were laying on the island counter. you loked over at him. he had a thin layer of sweat on his forehead and he still wore the slightest utterly spent expression.

"round two in the shower?" you asked. rafael smirked and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"what did i do to deserve you?"

"fuck me like no one else ever could." rafael twitched inside you at your words. he sat up and pulled you with him. jumping off of the counter, his cock still inside you, he walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the bathroom.

"damn right."

#rafael barba #l&o: svu #y/n

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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

Text

Snowstorm

For @thatesqcrush’s Holiday Bingo!

No warnings, just angst-tinted fluff. Once again, my moodboard blurb has become a short fic.

859 words

No labels. No strings. That was what you both agreed when you started skyping with A.D.A. Rafael Barba after you returned home from vacation. It wasn’t fair any other way. Long-distance relationships were tricky even when one partner eventually planned to move to be with the other, and neither of you had any such plans.

Barba was a city boy through and through, and he had an important job. You respected that. His passion for helping people was what drew you to him in the first place, and there were not enough violent crimes in your peaceful slice of Vermont to make it worth a high-profile prosecutor’s time.

In contrast, that was precisely why you never wanted to leave.

And yet, whatever unlabeled, stringless thing you had with him was enough to keep coming back to video-chat every week. To text naughty selfies when you knew he was in court. To plan little visits to see each other until something better came along. But nothing better ever did.

He only wished he had more time with you.

***

The idyllic White Christmas that Bing Crosby dreamed about is much more of a guarantee in Vermont than it is in the city—so Barba justified taking a day or two off to fly up and see you. As soon as he stepped off the plane and found you rushing into his arms, he knew he made the right choice.

Covered bridges decorated with lights, snow glittering on the tops of red barns—Barba watched a winter wonderland pass outside the window of your car. The distant ridge of mountains grew closer as you drove him from the airport, and then was suddenly behind, the shape of each peak flipped as the scenery grew ever more rustic.

He was only staying for the weekend, and then it was back to Manhattan and the relentless pace of life there. If he stayed away too long, he would miss the energy and the stress that served to motivate him to greater achievement, but he did wish he had a little more time to slow down. To have a warm person keeping him warm at night. Someone to talk to about something other than brutal crimes. Someone to tease. Someone who knew how to make him moan.

On a long dirt road, past where the farm pastures ended and dissolved into unbroken forest, was your cabin. You grabbed some split wood off the pile before opening the unlocked door and kicking your boots off. An old woodstove kept the interior toasty and comfortable, although apparently not enough for your cat, who dramatically sprawled out as close as she could get to the cast iron without burning herself.

Tomorrow, you’d be going next door to your parents’ house for Christmas dinner, but for now, it was just the two of you with nothing to do but stoke the fire, cook together, and cuddle up under a warm blanket with hot tea and cocoa.

It used to take him a while not to feel antsy with nobody depending on him to put out a dozen fires with his legal insight, and with the unsettling silence of the country—realizing he hadn’t heard a single siren since arriving. But this was not his first visit, and he was starting to feel almost at home here. Imagine that. A.D.A. Barba enjoying the quiet. Or maybe it was just the company that he enjoyed.

***

His back was cramped in three places from sleeping in a strange bed, but he resisted getting up and stretching. Your arm was draped over his stomach, your leg was hooked over his, and you were snoring softly. Far too peaceful to wake up.

He didn’t have to get out of bed to realize something had happened overnight. Your digital alarm clock was dead. Through the window next to your bed, all he could see was white where he was sure there were meant to be trees and a garden.

The flurry of snow on Christmas Eve turned into a surprise storm of large, heavy flakes that whited out the sky and dropped three feet of snow in eight hours. It was still falling.

There was no way he was catching his flight to New York.

You lit candles, and Barba used your landline (which he finally understood why you had) to call the D.A.’s office and hand his case over to another prosecutor. It stung his professional pride, but… Oh, what a shame it was that he had no case to work on, and no rush to return home. It would be a few days before the plows cleared the roads enough to be safe. He might as well stay for the rest of the week.

The brightness of your smile in response made him feel like the Grinch with his heart growing three sizes. He pressed his lips to yours and held you tight against him, a spark of excitement rushing through every point of contact like the crackling of the woodstove.

It wouldn’t last forever. It couldn’t. But for now, he had what he always wanted. He had more time.

• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •

Tags (let me know if you want to be added!):

@beccabarba / @caked-crusader / @itsjustmyfantasyroom / @thatesqcrush / @dianilaws / @permanentlydizzy / @mrsrafaelbarba / @da-po / @madamsnape921

#Rafael Barba #Rafael Barba x Reader #moodboard #Christmas Special #thatesqcrush holiday bingo #my writing #moodboards

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svubabes · 4 years

Text

Voices - Rafael Barba

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Summary: Barba realizes maybe getting under someone isn’t the way to get over someone else.

TAG LIST: https://onelovesr.tumblr.com/

Everyone says heartache takes months, even years to get over, sometimes never. Some say to get over someone you have to get under someone else.

It had been two months since you and Rafael had called it quits, it was gut wrenching to throw away almost three years of a relationship, but it had to be done. Deep down, you knew when you both took your anger out on each other, spent more time wrapped up in a blanket than in each others arms, the quiet breakfast together and the blank stares at the office weren't personal. When you and Raf broke up, you both admitted what had went wrong and that maybe it was best to lay things to rest for a bit, maybe a few days or weeks or maybe forever.

You knew it was forever when a young, blonde, short skirt and high heels popped into SVU with Rafael. Of course everyman in the unit was drooling over this girl.

“And who is this Barba?” He smirked, and introduced her as Lillian Gomez, his new assistant of course he had to check to make sure you were paying attention to the scene. You just looked straight ahead at your computer, trying your best to focus on the work you had. Something in you just wanted to rip Barba apart, how could he? Three years and now he comes in drooling over his assistant for you to see? How cold is that?

Weeks had passed, you were slowly dying on the inside. Why did his assistant have to be everywhere? You sat in the courtroom ready to get this hearing over with and praying that this perp would be behind bars. Carisi made his way over to you.

“Hey! How are ya?” You looked at him, arms crossed and rolled your eyes.

“Sonny, I’m ready to flip my fuckin’ lid! Why does he have to bring here everywhere? I mean everywhere! I’m surprised when I go to the restroom she’s not fuckin standing there behind me!” You whispered, Sonny laughed.

“I know your hurt,” He put his arm around you, “Have you talked to him? At all?”

“Nope. He hasn’t talked to me.” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Look you can’t be that way, what are ya in highschool?” You scoffed.

“No! Why would I beg him to talk to me?” Sonny rolled his eyes, once again. You looked up to see a harsh, cold stare from Barba. Once he noticed you he turned to take his seat.

“Did you see that? He just cut through me using his eyes.” Sonny laughed and grabbed your hand.

“Look, you can do one of two things. One, tell Barba how you feel! You guys broke up cause what? Work, stress all that good stuff? Okay, talk to each other like adults. Two, keep watching him with that random lady and probably a lot more random ladies and suffer.” He paused, looking like he was trying to think of something to add. “Oh! You do have a third option, get under someone!” You slapped him lightly, you chuckled but quickly became serious when the judge stepped in.

The trial finally ended at 6:42PM. Guilty on all charges, 25 to life, no chance of parole. This was a tough case for SVU, and Barba. Fin of course had the idea of going out for drinks at the local bar. You sighed, getting ready to walk away but you were stopped by Sonny.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.” You smiled, getting ready to turn again.

“No, you are going to come to this bar. You were a big part of why this sick bastard got convicted.” You smiled and blushed.

“Well, you do have a point. I’ll go on one condition. Don’t let me do anything stupid. Like don’t let me get drunk.” Sonny threw a thumbs up.

“I’m your guy! I got your back and you know it!”

Well, after six shots Sonny should watch no one. He half way lived up to his promise, but you were on your third drink so who knows? You may catch up with him in a bit. You sighed deeply, checking the time on your cell phone, no texts, no calls, go figure. Rollins came over to you as you slowly stirred your drink, occasionally looking up to see Barba and Lillian. Rollins scooted close to you.

“You know, I can baby sit Carisi if you want to bounce.” You turned your head quickly.

“How do y-” She smiled, taking a sip of beer and then cut you off.

“I had to do the same thing you are once, Nick Amaro. I had to watch him drool over his ex wife, wife, baby mama whatever you wanna call her. Sucked the life out of me, it was a real low blow, especially when he knew how I felt. I can understand you not wanting to see that.” You looked back to Barba, his hand on Lillians leg. Amanda was right, you couldn’t take that. You thanked her and paid for your drinks. You darted out of the bar, past Barba and Lillian, slamming the door shut. You sat down on the hard sidewalk and decided you needed a cigarette. You lit up and leaned your head back onto the brick wall. No sooner than you did this, you heard the bar door open. You couldn’t bring yourself to look, you didn't want eye contact with anyone from work now.

“Really? When did you start smoking again?” You heard Rafael say. You turned your head, blowing the smoke near him.

“When did you start to give a fuck? Mhm. Finally get your hands and mouth free for a minute instead of all over that woman!” You shouted, pissed off, hurt, all of it would be out tonight. You threw the butt on the ground and stomped on it to make sure it was out.

“You know what? I don’t give a shit. Go, go be with her! I can’t even think about another man, but you’re out here able to stick your tongue down the first girls throat! Did you really care? Did you really hurt when we broke up, or was that some kind of act?” Barba walked closer to you, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly.

“I can't listen to her talk without hearing your voice.” He whispered. You felt less tense.

“What?” You asked, hot tears flowing down your cheeks from anger.

“I can’t listen to her without hearing your voice. You’re all I think about, even when I’m with her, I think of you. I want you, I was happy with you. Right now I’m just here. With you I was living.” He grabbed you and embraced you tightly.

“I love you (Y/F/N). I want you back, I want us.” You smiled into his shoulder, trying not to cry on his suit.

“I love you Raf.” He kissed you softly on the lips.

“So, you’re my girlfriend again?”

“Not that easy, you have to take me to my favorite restaurant, then we’ll talk.” He smirked, grabbing your hand tightly.

“Well what are we waiting for?”

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 4 years

Text

Hot Christmas.

For @thatesqcrush Holiday B!ngo: Naughty or nice.

Pairing: Rafael Barba x reader

Square: Mistletoe

WC: 1601

Warnings: Summer Smut

This is dedicated to my darling @beccabarba who planted this idea in the first place to remind you all that in my part of world while you are all freezing your bits off- mine are melting off.

Enjoy x

Rafael wasn’t quite sure what he was going to be in for. He looked up the weather the week before you guys flew out and almost wanted to cancel the trip based on that alone. As much as he liked summer more than winter, a Manhattan summer was going to be nothing compared to this and the hot Christmas, he was going to be in for a real treat. But it all that melted away in the early hours of the sunny morning when the plane tipped in for a landing and he looked out the window seeing the sun shining down on the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera house. His breath was taken away at the pure beauty of the shine of the water and the perfect white sails on the Opera house,

“I told you it was beautiful” You squeezed Rafael’s knee looking at the smile on his face.

You were Australian born, but your family moved to Manhattan when you were almost a teen. Your Dad took a job offer and the family never moved back planting their roots in New York. As a family you did try to come back every year, but as you got older and your grandparents passed there was really no need. Then once you became a police officer and then an SVU Detective you didn’t know what free time was anymore.

You and Rafael had been together coming on two years and this year you both had the same time off at Christmas, unlike last year. Your parents were off travelling around Europe and Lucia was looking after children from her school whose parents had to work over Christmas. So when you suggested that you go away for Christmas and suggested to come to Australia, Rafael was all for it. He loved when your Aussie accent slipped out through your thick American one, especially when he was kissing up your thigh or when you snapped at a perp. He had learnt all your Aussie slang words and loved the Australian songs you had introduced him too.

The first week had been filled with everything beautiful the country had to offer, including the 104 F days. A day trip the Canberra and the Blue Mounties, showing him what going to the bush actually looked like , the days around the city and another day trip to a wild life park to see kola’s and kangaroo’s. You showed Rafael Centre Point Tower, Queen Victoria building and took him on the ferry to Manly for fish and chips and a day at the beach.

It was Christmas Eve and you sat on the outside of the ferry on the way back to the hotel the wind brushing against your skin and the smell of salt water, both deciding room services was the go to that night after a big day out at the beach in the heat. Rafael had his arm round you, dressed in shorts and a tank top. You could see the tan of his skin slightly darker than usual after the day,

“Would you ever move back?” Rafael looked out over the water as the ferry moved over it, passing Luna Park.

“It’s a beautiful country, but-no. My life is in Manhattan, my job, my friends, you” you kissed his cheek.

“What if I moved here with you” Rafael looked at you with a smirk.

“Rafi there is no way you could handle this heat every year” You giggled.

“Yeah you’re right” He wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.

You had gone to bottle shop just up the street from the hotel just to grab some before dinner drinks after a shower, while Rafael freshened up. You grabbed a bottle of scotch that Rafael had tried one night at Star City casino and a bottle of Australian moscato, making a mental note to grab some bottles to take back home for yourself, Liv, Amanda and Sonny. As you walked around the bottle shop there was a spinning shelf with different kinds of Australian Christmas decorations, mostly Aussie animals with Christmas hats. You grabbed a kangaroo and a kola for your tree at home. You spun it and fake green leaves caught your attention. On closer inspection, it was traditional mistletoe mixed with eucalyptus leaves. You picked one up walking to the counter to pay.

You opened the door to your hotel room, the TV blaring with a movie that looked like Muriel’s wedding. Rafael was sitting out on the balcony of your room on a chair from your small dining table, his legs resting on the wall of the balcony in front of him, just in boxers and a clean tank top looking out over the dark harbour seeing the lights of the Harbour bridge flicker feeling the heat of the night. You sat the bottles of alcohol down on the table and found the mistletoe in the bag, holding your hand behind your back as you walked out to him.

“Back Rafi” you walked to stand next to him as he reached up to squeeze the top of your thigh and then patted his lap for you to sit.

Rafael noticed that your hand was behind your back and tilted his head to look and see what it was

“What have you got there Hermosa?” he raised an eye brow at you.

You moved your arm to reach up over your heads, the mistletoe in your hand. Rafael looked up and chuckled,

“Is that a mistletoe in eucalyptus leaves” he raised an eye brow at you with a smirk.

“It is, Merry Christmas Rafi” you lent down to peak him on the lips, his hands moving to your hips.

“Merry Christmas mi Amor- but you know” he licked his lips “If you wanted a kiss you didn’t need that” he nodded towards your arm still above you both “You just had to ask” Rafael slide his hand up your tank top over your belly to grab on your boob after sliding it under your bra.

Without losing contact you lifted up off Rafael to straddle his lap dropping the fake leaf on the floor. Rafael was rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. You reached down and pulled your tank top off throwing it just inside the door, then reached around and undone your strapless bra throwing that inside. Rafael wasted no time leaning forward taking your nipple into his mouth nipping at it then flicking it with his tongue. You rolled your hips down on him feeling him hardening fast, your fingers in his hair running through his scalp.

Rafael pulled off your nipple with a pop looking up at your hooded eyes. You moved your hands to pull off his tank top throwing it on the floor, your hand back in his hair tugging his head back so you could kiss down his neck still rolling your hips down onto him.

“Who would have thought I would be fucking you on an outdoor balcony in December” you purred scraping your nails down his tanned chest, loving the noise your nails made as they ran over his chest hair. Rafael whimpered bucking up his hips.

“We will have to be quite Hermosa, we don’t need complaints to the front desk- take you shorts and panties off” Rafael’s voice was thick and husky.

You stood up making quick work of pulling off your shorts and panties, Rafael doing the same. You moaned looking at Rafael’s naked body glowing in the light from the room with his hard cock standing straight up waiting for you after he had sat back down. You took a step forward biting your bottom lip as Rafael reached out to run his hand up your thigh around to your ass cheek giving it a squeeze and then a light slap pushing you forward,

“Get on mi Amor- show me how it’s done down under”

You giggled and moved to straddle him again, his hand holding himself in place for you to slide on as you sat. Getting on birth control was the best decision you had ever made always being ready for Rafael at any time having a very healthy and active sex life. You started to sit, the crown of his cock parting your lips and you dropped down quickly Rafael filling you up. You started to roll your hips Rafael’s mouth going slack, his hands moved to your hips gripping tight guiding your hips faster.

Your hands moved to his hair line at the back of his neck and you lent forward, your chest on his as you started to suck on his sweet spot just below his ear. Rafael grunted pushing his hips up into you while you rolled down on him. You knew he was close with the grunting noises he was making so you started to grind down on him harder and faster. Sweat running down both your bodies from the heat of the night.

“I’ am going to come” he grunted out. One of his hands moved down to your ass cheek grabbing onto it and the other found your clit rubbing it fast. You moaned into his neck your body shaking as your pleasure washed over you. “Y/N” Rafael moaned as he bucked up one last time and with a low roar you felt Rafael’s release coating your inner walls. Both breathless and sweaty, you lent back your lips meeting his for a soft kiss,

“Merry Christmas Rafi, I love you” you kissed his nose.

“I love you mi Amor Merry Christmas”

Tags: @detective-giggles @thatesqcrush @beccabarba @the-baby-bookworm @dianilaws @scarletsoldierrr @permanentlydizzy @lv7867 @averyhotchner

#thatesqcrush holiday bingo #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x yn #barba fanfic #barba x reader #reafael barba x reader #rafael barba and reader

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thatesqcrush · 5 years

Text

Torts

AN: It’s Galileo day and I am beyond excited. Couldn’t sleep so I put the muse to work. CW: language, sex, def NSFW. References: The Undiscovered Country, S.19,E.13

Reader x Rafael. CW: language, sex, you know the drill. It’s Barba’s first day as a professor of law. Reader pays a visit!

***

Rafael dusted the chalk off that rubbed onto his vest. Rolling back his sleeves, he took a step back and looked at his scribbles on the board. Today was a new day for him. After leaving the D.A.’s office after being acquitted from the Householder case, Rafael took much needed time off to reconvene and figure out his priorities.

But Rafael wasn’t meant to be a homebody. He was growing increasingly bored and irritated at home.

It was only at your prodding that he interviewed for the professor opening at New York University.

***

“Rafael,” you said your boyfriend’s name firmly. “I love you but wasting away here at home. You have got to get back out there.”

“No one will hire me. I was acquitted formally but everyone will just think I am a baby killer,” Rafael protested, irritated. He scratched his 5 o’clock shadow and took a large gulp of his scotch. He sat down at the table in the apartment you two shared. Smells of roast chicken and yellow plantains mixed in the air.

You began to slice some tomatoes for the salad you were preparing. You picked up the slivered fruit and tossed them in the bowl with rest of the vegetables and wiped your hands on your apron. You turned to Rafael and placed your hands on your hips.

“Rafael, you live in a place that the men who wrote the law don’t even think about. You’re not a class A felon. This is not your Achilles heel. Just go - go for the interview. Who knows what will happen,” you reasoned. Rafael looked at you intently. You met his stare and cocked your brow, your lips pursed.

Rafael gave an exasperated sigh and threw his hands up. “Fine cariño. I’ll apply.”

“You have to get back out there love. You can’t stay inside forever. It’s not you,” you replied bringing the salad over to the table. You bent down and kissed Rafael softly.

Rafael pulled you into his lap and nuzzled your neck, breathing in your scent. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

****

Rafael’s phone buzzed loudly against the wooden desk, shaking him out of his reverie and back to reality. He saw that it was you and he answered it eagerly.

“¿Chula, que tal?” Rafael greeted you. “Can’t wait to see you later. I made dinner reservations.”

You sighed on the other line, knowing you were about to disappoint him. “Rafi, bad news. The deposition took forever and I missed my flight. I won’t be home until tomorrow morning.”

Rafael sighed, disappointed. “Okay.”

“I just wanted to wish you good luck on your first day. You’re going to do great Professor Barba. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Rafael replied. “Be safe. Call me before you take off.”

You promised you would and you hung up. You looked at the building in front of you, and smiled entering. After speaking with security, you made your way to the lecture hall that Rafael was teaching at.

Through the glass partition, you saw Rafael’s back was to you, so you quietly opened the door and sat in the first empty seat you saw in the back row. Taking the baseball cap from your bag, you slid it on and lowered the brim so that he couldn’t see your face.

“Welcome to Torts. I’m Professor Barba. There are few ground rules...”

You smiled as Rafael went through the ins and outs of the class and his expectations.

“Tort law is the area of law that protects people from bad acts of others. When someone acts in an unreasonably dangerous way, it is called a tortious act. However, tort law is not criminal law. Tort law gives a victim a civil remedy in the courts. The four elements to every successful tort case are: duty, breach of duty, causation and injury,” Rafael continued, his voice booming, filling the hall.

You smiled and discreetly looked around, seeing all the students transfixed on Rafael. You knew he’d be perfect - he had an audience in the courtroom- and now he had one right here.

“The four conditions must be met, each are necessary. None in itself is sufficient. There must be a duty or an obligation. This duty must have been breached. The breach must have a caused...” Rafael continued.

Ninety minutes later, Rafael ended his class, giving instructions on what readings to complete prior to the next class and hinting about a possible quiz in the immediate future.

As the class slowly emptied out, Rafael noticed you in the back, your head still bent.

“Can I help you? I have office hours this afternoon, but another class will be here in about thirty minutes,” Rafael called out you, as he packed up his briefcase.

You looked up, and removed your cap, revealing yourself. “Oh, I think I will need so much help, Professor.”

Rafael was surprised and he gave you a toothy grin. “Y/N - what are you doing here? I thought you had missed a flight.”

“I’m a lawyer darling. I know how to lie,” you teased as you negotiated the stairs and approached him. You pressed your hands against his chest and kissed Rafael.

Rafael returned your kiss and cupped your chin, tilting your face more towards him. You broke the kiss and hopped onto his desk. “You know,” you began, running a finger down the neckline of your blouse, “I never had a professor who looked as good as you.”

Rafael eyed your cleavage and smirked. “No?”

You shook your head. “No... your students are very lucky. I bet your office hours will be packed with students who just cannot seem to focus. They’ll need extra time with their sexy professor.” You began unbuttoning your blouse. Rafael swallowed hard, and ran a hand through his dark hair.

“Cariño,” Rafael warned, his eyes darting to see if anyone was around.

“What?” You asked innocently, batting your lashes, letting your shirt hang open to reveal your lace encased breasts.

“Y/N! It’s my first day!” Rafael hissed. “We can play at home.”

You rolled your eyes and hopped off the desk, turning to show off your derrière. “Oh come on Professor Barba,” you continued to goat. “I bet all of your students will be fantasizing about getting under you. I know if you were mine, it would be all that I could think about.”

Rafael swallowed hard. He could feel his cock twitch as he took in your form. ‘It would be so easy,’ he thought - to just take you where you were. He would just flip up your skirt and unzip his fly... he just knew how wet you were and how easily your pussy would welcome his cock.

“Okay y/n, but we make it quick,” Rafael agreed. Before you could react, Rafael was on you, like a hyena capturing a wildebeest. Rafael spun you around and kissed you hard. Your tongue tangled with his. Rafael tasted like coffee, mint, and something that was uniquely him. You moaned softly as Rafael suckled on your sweet spot. He nipped your neck and you hissed in pleasure. His tongue snaked out to soothe the hickey he left and you groaned again. Your panties were soaking already - you were so turned on and the two of you had just started.

Reaching to your thighs, you shimmied your skirt up and then reached down to pull down your panties to mid-thigh. Rafael copped a feel and he growled at how wet you already were. You writhed against his hand, trying to increase pressure or get him to finger fuck you. Rafael took the hint and slipped one digit inside of you. Your hips bucked automatically to Rafael’s ministrations. You head fell forward, as Rafael thrusted his finger in and out of you in a languid pace. Rafael used his other large hand to undo the fly of his pants and released his aching, weeping cock. Rafael slipped his finger out and you whined at the lost sensation.

Your whines were replaced with moans as you felt the head of Rafael’s cock at your entrance. You lowered yourself further into the desk and braved yourself. Rafael spread your legs a bit further- or as further as they could go with your underwear still at your thighs. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured as he took in the sight of your naked ass. Teasingly he ran his cock up and down your slit before entering you. The two of you groaned at the sensation. “Remember, gotta be quick,” Rafael groaned. You nodded. “I...I know,” you choked out.

Rafael began thrusting in and out of you quickly. Each snap of his hip propelled you forward. You met his thrusts eagerly and the sounds of furious fucking filled the lecture hall, echoing off the empty room. Rafael reached down to rub your swollen clit and you choked back a sob as pleasure coursed your body.

“I am so close,” you panted. “Give it to me. I want it.”

“Take it y/n,” Rafael growled in response. “Take that cock.”

Rafael’s filthy words were your undoing and you came around his cock, his name on your lips. Rafael followed soon thereafter, his hips stiffening as he emptied his load into you. Rafael chanted your name as if it were a prayer.

The two of you stayed intimately connected for a minute before Rafael slipped out of you. As he tucked himself back into his pants, you reached down to pull up your panties and slip down your skirt. You could feel Rafael’s cum drip out of you and pool in your panties, and out the sides, to your thighs. You felt erotically charged.

“Well, safe to say you’re having a great first day,” you teased pressing a chaste kiss against his lips. Rafael wrapped his arms around you, and returned the kiss.

“That I am. But I have to return to my office and get ready for my next class. I’ll see you tonight, definitely dinner.”

You nodded, pulling away to grab your belongings. As you headed to the stairs, you looked back at Rafael. “Hey Professor Barba?”

Rafael looked at you, a flicker of lust in his eyes. “Yes?”

“I think I’ll drop by during office hours. Make sure your door lock works,” you winked.

“You’re incorrigible!” Rafael teased watching you bound up the stairs.

“But you love it,” you called back before exiting.

“That I do,” Rafael murmured as he gathered the rest of his stuff. “That I do.”

*FIN*

#life is short and barba is hot #my writing #my fics #rafael barba and reader #rafael barba fanfic #barba and reader #barbasmut #barba x reader #rafaelbarba x reader #rafaelbarbafanfic

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angelicdestieldemon · 3 years

Text

Cold

Request: during the snowstorm on Christmas Eve and Noah is sick so they bundle him until he's warm and that leaves them having to share one fluffy blanket and they cuddle really close to keep warm abd reflect on how grateful they are be in a relationship with each other

SHIP: Barson

Requests are open for the next 12 days, I write for Barson, Bangan, Barisi and potentially other Rafael Barba ships (even other Raúl Esparza characters too), just talk to me on asks or private messages.

The storm outside raged on, the whistle of the wind howling through the quiet apartment. The central heating in the building having chosen the worst possible time to break, leaving Rafael, Olivia and Noah snuggled up in winter jumpers and blankets.

“Rafa, I don’t feel well.”

Rafael looked down at the boy, snuggled up in two of the three fluffy blankets. His skin too warm to the touch. With the cold weather and the snowstorm covering the roads, Noah had caught a chill that was quickly turning into a fever. Currently dosed up on as much medication a child could safely be, Olivia and Rafael were watching the boy like a hawk hoping that the fever would break but so far, no such luck.

“I know, mijo,” Rafael soothed the boy, running a hand through the boy’s curly hair. “Try to get some sleep, you’ll feel better soon.”

Noah cuddles back up the pillow on the opposite end of the couch, closing his eyes. Olivia walks back through with two cups of coffee and places them on the coffee table. She’s wearing a terrible Christmas jumper with reindeers’ snowflakes, and snowmen, in an abundance of Christmas colours; to him though, she looks beautiful.

He lifts the blanket, his own terrible jumper making her laugh before she cuddles up against his chest, her face burying itself in his neck, his beard scratching against her cheek. Rafael wraps his arms and the blanket around her, tracing patterns up and down her back slowly. Having wrapped Noah up in two of the blankets they only have one for themselves, but the heat radiating from Olivia is enough to warm Rafael through, the sensation over her arms around him better than any other feeling. The soft puffs of air against his neck as she breaths send electricity down his spine. He’s pressed against the back of the couch, she moves them, so he lies on his side almost over her where she lies on her back.

On a day that should otherwise be miserable, there is nowhere else in the world Rafael would rather be. Forget the beaches, and the hot sun glaring down on him, he would choose lying on a couch in a freezing cold room, with the love of his life and their son, any day. The serenity of the moment, the peace that having Olivia wrapped around him brings is worth so much more than any villa on the beach.

Having them love him is so much more than he ever thought he deserved. Even from a young age he came to accept the bare minimum others would offer him, convinced that it was all he deserved. He accepted it from Yelina, and every man and woman who came after her. He felt lucky that they chose him, and even when they left, he believed it was his fault for not being good enough. But with Olivia, he never felt unvalued, she loved him for him, not what he was working towards. She chose him and cared and loved him, she looked at him the same way he looked at her, pure adoration.

“You’re thinking too hard,” he hears her whisper.

Rafael squeezes her hip and Olivia lifts her head to meet his eye, a mischievous smile on her face. Raising her own hand to scratch his beard, he rolls his eyes but presses his face into her hand making her laugh softly. He hears her call him a cat and he smirks.

“I’m just thinking about how lucky I am,” Rafael offers, a rare show of honesty unhidden behind layers of sarcasm and snark.

Olivia smiles softly, sliding her hand to his neck, playing with short hairs there before pulling him down to kiss her. Their eyes fluttering shut at the soft press of their lips.

“I think you’ll find I’m the lucky one,” she whispers, holding their foreheads together. “Very few men would take on a single mum and love her son like his own, even fewer with a woman of my age. You love me and you love Noah just as much, we are the lucky ones.”

Rafael kisses her again, nothing more than soft presses of the lips, but the passion behind each one warms Rafael to her core. Rafael nuzzles against her neck, as her nails scratch the back of his scalp.

“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” his words mumbled against her neck, but she hears them loud and clear.

Turning to kiss his neck she mumbles back against his skin, “I love you, Rafael.”

#Barson #rafael barba #Olivia Benson #Raul Esparza #mariska hartigay #Law & Order SVU #Raúl Esparza #Rafael x olivia

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fallintomyhands · 4 years

Photo

Blacked out card for @barisifandomevents !

Fake Relationship: Dreams – Asmodesgold (M)

· Barba gets the flu. Carisi gets more than he bargained for. A sweet, soft fic full of longing and loving care.

Wedding: In Vino Veritas – etothepii ( E )

· A bachelor party, a wedding, late nights in the office, and confusion. One of my favorite fics of Carisi figuring himself out, featuring a lot of unique but realistic situations, tenderness and heat, angst, and hopefulness. A fandom must read.

Alternate Universe: The Primitive and Sanctified – Konigsberg ( E )

· Demons exist, unbeknownst to SVU… except the members counted amongst their ranks. This is one of my favorite stories of all time, and please don’t let the supernatural elements (or the fact this is sadly still a WIP) “scare” you away! The “monstrous” elements are used to perfectly capture characterization, and this is the most tender fic I’ve ever read. Makes you want to crawl into the soft, dreamy feelings and live there forever. Please give this a shot if you haven’t already; perfection.

Crack Fic: Overstepping – rellkelltn87 (M)

· A raid on a real-life mad scientist goes horribly wrong, and ends with Carisi “in a family way.” I never thought I’d see an mpreg story in this fandom that could come off so believable, but this author works miracles (in a much kinder way than her characters!) Part casefic, part romance, all suspense, don’t pass this one up, you will not be disappointed!

Based on a Movie: Do Monsters Dream? – bourgeois ( E )

· Shape of Water AU in which Sonny works at an aquatic research facility and meets someone special. Takes place in a timeline where we see Carisi struggling after the Tom Cole incident, heart wrenchingly portrayed through his losses, personal and professional, and his meeting of another lonely, imprisoned soul. Beautifully written, absolutely captivating prose, wistful, heartfelt and magical.

Animals: Yuletide by the Fireside – Juniperhoot

· First Christmas with a new love, and unfortunately a new, smaller paycheck. Tenderness, cozy domesticity, and the most adorable dog ever singing along to bad TV music numbers; what more could you want? If your answer was ‘thoughtful characterization’ – that’s here too!

First Date: Everything Seems a Little Bit Sweeter – rafaelbaseball, burgeois

· Barba is obsessed with a YouTube chef, and enters a contest to meet him for dinner. One of the earliest fics I was obsessed with. The whole series is lovely, and the actual date is so tentative and lovely it makes my heart clench. Barba finding himself not in the age group of Sonny’s fans is painfully relatable and a stroke of genius.

Carisi Family: A Healing Year – Adrianna_m_scovill (M)

· A year in the life of Barba and Carisi, in which Barba faces his insecurities and begins to heal, and to love. A fantastic story from start to finish, with top notch characterization and intense emotions, steamy sex, and everything in between. I chose this for my family fic not just because there’s a lovely holiday spent with the Carisi family, but because the fic also embodies how Carisi manages to make everyone in his life his family. Utterly captivating story from an author that always makes an emotional impact.

Soulmates: Choose To Be With You – Robin Hood

· Sometimes the person who has your heart doesn’t have your soul. Great take on the soulmates trope, heartfelt, heartbreaking, mature. Insightful characterization of both characters, but especially Carisi, who faces an impossible situation, and reacts exactly how I believe the character would do.

Get Together: Noche Sin Estrella – Lambnoire

· Casefic in which Barba is injured, and Carisi figures something out about himself when his protective streak becomes something more. A pretty much perfect fic; perfect characterization, strong and realistic casefic, recurring canon characters that feel true to themselves, whump that expresses the right amounts of terror without delving outside the scope of the show, and a slow burn journey of romance and self-acceptance that is meticulously paced, utterly realistic and hits every emotional mark flawlessly. Now that it’s back, make sure you don’t miss out.

Break Up: Every Time We Touch – OblivionCastro

· Soulmate AU where the touch of your partner gives you pain. A 5+1 fic, a soulmate fic, but mostly, a lyrically written story of enduring pain and enduring its loss. A wonderful metaphor for the agony of love and loss that brings me to tears every time.

Secret Relationship: Pink (& Other Promises) – leslielol

· Barba and Carisi fall together, and decide to keep it under wraps for a while; results vary. A common premise with uncommonly good prose. Vivid, lyrical language wraps around a soft story about affection, subterfuge, and acceptance. A very different look at Barba and Carisi than the author’s main fic, but no less enduring and amazing.

WIP: Much Farther To Go – nukablastr (M)

· The threats on Barba’s life have been declared a cold case, but Carisi decides to do some investigating on his own to protect the man he loves. This is the third part of a long series detailing the “missing” events in S17, and exploring beyond into “what could have been” if this major plot hadn’t been dropped. I added part 3 for the WIP, but recommend reading from the beginning. This story is expertly paced and plotted, and feels absolutely like it could be a piece of canon. One of the seminal works of the barisi fic fandom; read it if you haven’t.

Shadowing: Mind if I Sit Down? – Larkin21 ( E )

· Another episode tag based story from S17, featuring Carisi and Barba entering into a casual relationship behind the scenes. There’s not really many (or any!) full stories of Carisi shadowing Barba, but I was glad to be able to include this series, which features a full chapter on the shadowing episode. Again, I recommend reading the entire series, as it’s full of fantastically written plot and characterization, seamlessly weaving deep insights on the characters and blisteringly hot sex into the best seasons of the show. Another not-to-be-missed series!

Get Together: I’m gonna leave it all out there to dry – littleblacksubmarine ( E )

· Carisi is barely keeping it together, and Barba is waiting to be allowed to help; a story of depression, self-loathing, comfort and devotion told through incredibly poignant intimate and sexual encounters. An unusual depiction of a very dark Sonny, and a protective, self-sacrificing Rafael who’s there for him every painful step of the way. Amazing story that captures perfectly some very different aspects of the characters than we typically see, and still feels 100% true. This story has broken and healed my heart so many times.

Holiday: Pass Here and Go On – abogadobarba

· After the events of Undiscovered Country, Barba and Carisi reconnect, by chance, on a train of all places. Full of atmosphere, literary references, and some of the best prose in the fandom. This story is pure poetry, creating a tone of loneliness and longing, the sense of expanse and yet confinement that only travel can bring, and ultimately peacefulness and hope.

Alternate Career Rafael: In This Light – Astronaut_Milky (M)

· Barba is a photographer, Carisi is a model, both men destined to keep finding… and losing, each other. Beautiful, sexy story about two men whose jobs keep bringing them together, and tearing them apart, full of light and heat and beautiful people and beautiful imagery.

Undercover: Have You Ever Wished For An Endless Night? – minnesotamemelord

· Carisi goes undercover at a high-powered legal event, and runs into someone familiar. A look at Sonny getting to go undercover at a nicer event than we normally see! Well written characterizations, and some interesting contemplations on unique issues, such as Carisi’s opinion on wealth and the wealthy that felt so spot on I immediately felt they were canon. Also, poor Rafael; he has such terrible friends!

5+1: We Had No Haste – alwaysbuddy

· Carisi and Barba meet over and over in the most coincidental of places, but succumb to their own insecurities. Breathtaking story about two should-be fated lovers who continue to meet and connect over a multitude of vacations, but can’t bring themselves to reach for what they want, until they fear it may be too late. Gorgeous, atmospheric, romantic and sad, in equal measure, with an ending that’s happy, but still exudes a sense of so much lost time. This fic haunts my thoughts in the best ways.

Cooking: Sustenance – AhumanFemale, tiberius (E )

· Barba’s friends buy him a live-in chef for a time, so he can stop living on pretzels and coffee. Sweeping piece of art that exudes sensuality and the feel of time slipping through your fingers.

First Meeting: Here and Now – wormghoul

· Barba and Carisi meet, and have a whirlwind romance, at LSAT camp before being parted until they meet again at SVU. The imagery and language used in this story has stuck with me for a long time. Shockingly, wrenchingly accurate descriptions of the feelings of holding memories dear, “as a talisman,” and the devastating feelings of having them torn away from you by reality… but also the hope that they can be made anew.

Crack Fic: It’s Not Too Late/Gag Order – cupidmarwani

· Carisi has a superpower, and has reached the end of his rope. Carisi has seen too much, and has the power to burn it all down. Barba wants to save him, but has to face stark reality. Short, intense story about the toll Carisi’s job takes on him, and how he becomes one of the monsters that he used to fight. Depressing, heartbreaking, terrifyingly relatable, this is an overlooked gem.

Confession: Him. – keraunoscopia

· Carisi struggles with his sexuality and internalized homophobia, and seeks aid from the Church. Quiet, powerful, painful, and so, so beautiful.

Domestic: Daylight – cypress_tree ( E )

· Carisi stays the night for the first time and Barba sees him in the sunlight. Short, sweet, hot. What’s more domestic than two people in love, unwilling to get out of bed and leave one another’s presence?

Fix It: Good Morning – Kaye_21 (M)

· A threat to Barba’s life does not end well – repeatedly! Another “supernatural” style fic that shouldn’t be overlooked, even if it’s not your genre. Barba, stuck in a room with Carisi and a man out to kill them both, needs to figure out what is required of him to prevent their deaths, before he loses his mind. Fantastic character study. Terrifying, sad, sexy and hopeful. I chose this one for “fix it,” since as barisi itself could be considered a canon “fix it” or missed opportunity, and this fic itself embodies Barba himself finding a way to be that fix.

#barisi fic rec bingo #barisi #fic recs

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