#like idk why i am so angry but like i am So Angry

[mllenugget]

Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

#idk why on earth i gave baghera knuckles- when i say i turn my brain off when I draw i mean it #i only noticed it after i was done with the shading and it jumpscared me #got me stuttering in confusion i have never drawn anthro arms/wings this way these dont even look like feathers wtf me ?? #..... sooo looks like ive got a new wa-cats type of fandom on my hands #as in i am still very emotionally attached to the memories i have from this no matter what i do itll keep coming back #but i havent read the books in several years nor do i plan to anymore and looking back i am so angry and disgusted #but also im still blown away by the creativity and the passion the fandom builds on its own #i wanted to go ahead and finish any art that ive been working on for the past almost year and decided this one would be the most fitting #i learnt last week that only the first 20 tags on an original post will show up in tumblr searches #and I think im going to take advantage of that #because i dont want to hype the server anymore and i have decided i will no longer be adding my watermark on top of my work #and i was going to refrain from tagging it because i dont want my related posts to show up #before remembering that some of my mutuals who ive been chatting to for years now #have these fandoms blacklisted #so im going to test it and hope it works #im still going to tag the characters i love though because i wanna show support to the actors and i wish them nothing but the best #baghera fanart #pomme fanart #dapper fanart #dappleduo #my art #mcyt #qsmp #fandom neg #tag this however you want #yap yap yap yap tlddr

[tangledinink]

this is really stupid but like.

... is there anyone else in this fandom whose twin has died? am i the only one?

#i just had the thought and its #bizarre to me idk #its tripping me out #on one hand im like surely not i cant be the only person in the vast reaches of the world im not SPECIAL #but then im also like #idk its #pretty niche #i am losing my mind thinking about this and i dont know why #why isnt my trauma RELATABLE what the FUCK :////// #how am i supposed to be a lovable protagonist like this #i hate how this shit makes me so jaded and angry and cynical its really silly #bluh bluh bluhhhhh #cw sibling death #tw sibling death #sibling death #family death #cw family death #tw family death #vent #personal #txt posts #im gonna go draw some disaster twins or smth so i stop being such a bummer #my therapist told me beig sad on main is okay

[why-the-heck-not]

no those aren’t weird sex noises coming from ur neighbour’s apartment; it’s ur local insomniac slap & folding bread dough in the wee hours of the morning

#also I was doing that for wayy too long bc I think I autolysed a bit too long so the gluten structure just isn’t gonna be the best no matter #how angry I am at the dough but also idk why I’m bothering bc I’m also 80% sure the sourdough starter is not ready for bread yet #so like I’m going to have the densest loaf tmrw morning/this evening #this is a trial run abt if I remember how to make bread and if I'll actually have something edible it's a bonus #also it truly is meditative so I lost track of time bc ugh the texture of dough is just very nice #good thing abt naming it (the starter) Elvis that I now have my ’’bread making music’’ set and it’s honestly vibes #also yeah in a phase where I sleep abt every other night (unless I like rly rly try but even then it’s like max 4h and I dont get it and I #hate the process of desperately trying to get sleep more than like wasting time making inedible bread) #a human disaster but at least I will have bread #a very dense bread probably but bread nonetheless #march 2024 #2024

[nyaskitten]

Just went back and watched Ash fight scenes and if they don't at the VERY LEAST let smoke eminate off Cinder in all his fight scenes you will see me on national and international TV.

#they rob cinder of the hair being colored like smoke #they shrink his brows #they dont even fucking TRY with the smoke detailing #they give him a hideously bisected collar in favor of an admittedly awesome but completely non-canon armor piece #seriously its like they WANT to fuck me up mentally! #/j #i am very passionate about this shit tho #i WILL fight till the end to see cinder get his so-deserved justice #also maybe its just me but the poster makes him look weird .. not a fan #ALSO THEY SHRUNK HIS BIG ':3' MOUTH FUCK THIS. #its like you can TELL its the same guy but it doesnt FEEL that way #they slapped the boring generic-ass wildbrain mouth on him #i shouldnt be getting this angry about it but i am sorry . #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #raine's rambles #i AM gonna have to make him my oc atp huh #idk why im complaining so much ill get over it eventually #ill be pissed but #ill live.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

shoutout to those nights where the brain says We Literally Cant Do Anything Even Though We Really Want To <3

#brain: we want to do something! #okay! awesome! lets- #brain: NO DO!! only want #cant scribble. cant write. cant read #and so i sit here alternating between staring at several different screens & also the wall #idk if its brain fog or what #it feels like im in waiting mode.... #what am i waiting for!!! i would like to know!!! #absolutely unprompted #stg im gonna end up rewatching good omens while grinding for pier fish on acnh #angry at myself for not doing Literally Anything Else!! #i cant even think about my blorbos bc nothing coherent is going on upstairs #its just vague feelings and images and AUGGGH #i hate nights like this!! can i unsubscribe!!! can i opt out!!! #there are several Important Things i need to get done!! why cant i do them!!! #i wish i had some sort of large fruit i could split open and devour To Cope w this smhhhhh #at least then id be doin something... #for once i have the energy but i cant funnel it into anything. sigh

[williamrikers]

secret crush on you was made by people who hate me specifically in order to permanently damage my psyche. this is a targeted attack

#secret crush on you #*mine #i cannot put into words how much i hate this #also i am going to keep watching because this is like the one big thing heng was in and i am doing this for heng #but every scene with heng makes me angry cry so idk #why am i doing this to myself #i mean. i know why. but like. why am i like this

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry #when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister #but so easy literally everywhere else #I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person #I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents. #even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home #but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now #Lu rambles #can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn #bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister #bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me #the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW #that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone #so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to? #and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!! #ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.

[everlastiingiimmortals]

Happy Sunday, it is the way that intimacy is so impossibly rare with Veritas due to his pickiness and the nature of his discomfort with excessive touch, particularly when already overwhelmed (for the prickling sensation can grow too much, crawl up his throat and become painful — it is no doubt an issue that lies in anxiety and his tendency to overthink). Touch should be brief, you haven't earned the right to touch him with any more than a handshake, he doesn't like you, do not dirty his skin or clothes.

...But should you find yourself in a space that he has carved into his heart specifically for you, should you find he, eventually, grows accustomed to your hands and the sensation of your fingers against his skin, should you find him seeking out your touch, you will find that Andreas is a very curious and attentive lover, and though he still may be very particular in the way he touches you and wants to be touched, his eyes and hands will roam, not out of lust but of an appreciation of you and a desire to dedicate every curve of your body to memory. You will find him in a quiet, contemplative mood, mapping every divot and line of muscle with his hands and regarding you as he would one of his statues — and perhaps that's because he's already thinking of replicating your likeness in stone, immortalizing you in the way he adores most. Isn't that funny? Would you find it funny, as he trails delicate fingers down your stomach, for this spark, this flame, this Icarus to commit so much of his time to marble? To you? (Will he fall for you like Icarus, too?) And maybe he's not a worshiper of Aeons, but his lips on your skin and the calloused hands cradling your sides certainly feel like worship nonetheless, and maybe under the weight of his devotion you now become overwhelmed, because there is so much of Andreas and so much of himself being surrendered to you, in faith, in loyalty, in love.

#//about; (DOCTOR OF TRUTH) #suggestive cw #but like barely #he's like a horse or an angry cat. gotta acclimate him to touch first HSHSFBDJFNA #thinking abt this lately bc im gonna be so real i'm such a big fan of The One Exception as a romantic trope #though i do want to explore a little further why touch bothers him so much aside from overstimulation bc that is a v big part of it but. #it feels like theres more underneath #no matter what the baseline is a strong establishment of trust #where am i going with this? idk but i was thinking of himetio per usual

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[hella1975]

basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it

#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried #im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that #im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal #just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭 #and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails #like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow #and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things #like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice #and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off #she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭 #why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin #AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed #im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim #like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now #and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT #but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work #like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough #the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY #hella goes home

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[elegyofthemoon]

also to anyone who plays honkai, does anyone have other translations of the game? aside from the official?

i feel like i talked about this with a friend, but the translations just. don't line up with what's being said a lot of the time and it's slightly driving me insane x - x

#like!!! i can understand bits and pieces but its not enough to understand whats fully being said #but i just know that some of the things being said do not line up with the subtitles and i want to gnaw on something when it happens #idk.... #cuz like this one line in ch 11 ex where himekos in kianas flashbacks (i am crying) #himeko asks kiana whats on her mind and she says something like 'tell mama what youre thinking about' #but she doesnt!!! say that in the official dub!!!!! she just says 'tell your teacher' !!!!!!!! WHY #it is very cute though how much kiana looks to st freya cast as her family its so ; - ; i feel so bad #also the voiceacting is absolutely killing it in ch 11 ex its amaziiiing #like!! kiana was saying she was angry towards fu hua but not because of betrayal and more because she realizes she was helpless towards fat #YOU CAN HEAR THAT IN HOW SAD AND JUST ABSOLUTELY DEJECTED KIANA SOUNDS..... its amaziiiiing i love it #at least to me ! #it was weird when i saw kiana get angry at fu hua because while she did look angry #her voice kinda sounds otherwise #but anyways #snow plays hi3 #just asking !! because im sure theres probably bounds of translations!! but i just dont know whats like. A Good Trusted One #so i trust. whoever plays honkai aPPARENTLY THERES A FEW OF YOU HIIIIII!!!!!! #im shaking all your hands im sorry im kind of new and probably like absolutely blissfully ignorant but i am shaking your hands #i wish there was a way to keep tabs of who Does bc then i can annoy cOUGHS #kidding! i wouldnt lmao

[wikiangela]

living with people is just so loud jfc I need to move out again, I just get so weirdly irritated when everyone's home 😭

this is why I didn't live in a dorm in college and rented an apartment instead, couldn't fucking do it fr

#like why am I so angry rn when I was just fine 5 minutes ago #I couldn't even enjoy most of my day off alone bc I had to go to the city #I just wanna stay in bed the whole day jfc #idk gonna delete #just suddenly got so frustrated and I'm getting a headache and needed to vent lol

[musical-chick-13]

"Truly GOOD works don't have thriving fandoms because people aren't interested in fixing them, so what do they have to write fics/make art about."

Idk about you, but I don't write fic for properties I don't genuinely enjoy and think are, on some level, actually good.

#like I'm here to EXPAND on shit I like is that not a common experience? #if I think a work is bad why would I care enough to create something in response to it? #you think I did all those episode reviews and wrote all that shit about cxgf because I thought it was BAD????? #I have ten (10) wips and ONE of them is a 'rewriting canon to be in line with what I wish happened' fic? #idk if I'd even call it a FIX fic. it's more of a 'slightly less personally depressing resolution' fic #I'm sorry. truly I don't understand this viewpoint #'if a story is well-constructed enough there won't BE any extra dimensions to explore' WRONG. I'LL /ALWAYS/ FIND THINGS. U UNDERESTIMATE ME #I WILL /CREATE/ BLANKS TO FILL IN /BECAUSE/ I LOVE THIS THING SO MUCH #like yes everyone is probably going to have at least one piece of media that they don't think is High Art™ that they get unhinged over #(ctrlz squad sound off) #but I just...I'm sorry I cannot imagine spending all of my time going 'I will create things in honor of something that I believe is Bad™' #or 'this thing made me angry I'll exclusively spend my time fixing it' instead of just. watching/reading something else that I DO enjoy #also like...things that ARE widely-agreed to be genuinely good still have big fandoms sometimes? #tgp is pretty popular on here. csm is MASSIVE. both on and off tumblr. #and some things WOULD be otherwise easily fandomize-able: cxgf is one. dpat is another. but these don't HAVE huge fandoms because the shows #are not popular. like just. we live in a world where people are somehow both elitist and anti-intellectual at the same time #ANYWAY this is in response to that one post I saw about--*I am dragged offstage for my own safety* #In the Vents

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

everyday i get closer and closer to writing wholesome fluffy gerbert rpf entirely out of spite for the bert villianizers who turned me away from listening to the used for years

#every day i feel the need to apologize to bert mccracken for just. blindly taking fanfic depections of hom as fact #in my defense i was in middle school and i had never heard of the used to i didnt realize he was a real person for a WHILE #and then once i figured out he was real i literally knew nothing abt him aside from what was in fics and they all treated him the same way #so i just assumed there was some fact behind it ig?? 😭 #and then as i got older it just sort of clicked that Oh Yeah all of this shit us Made Up and maybe i should Fact Check This #and now the used is one of my favorite bands and i love bert so much and i am still so fucking angry that everyone fucking treated him like #shit for absolutely no reason they just. needed a villan? #actually no ik the reason is bc he fucking struggled with addiction and people love to villianize addicts #especially bc hes seen as more masculine than gerard so even tho gerard struggled with addiction too HES not the villian bc hes too SWEET #and PURE and SOFT #but bert's seen as more masc and tough and loud so OBVIOUSLY that makes him a violent and abusive addict bc ppl love to equate masculinity #with 'strength' and violence and i could absolutely write a whole fucking paper on this topic if i had time to organize my thoughts #and idk if im even articulating this well rn but yeah. it makes me so fucking angry and disappointed and maybe its a stupid solution but i #know there are still SO many fics out where that do this shit and ik its still fucking with ppls perceptions of bert bc ive seen it!!! #ive seen ppl talk shit abt him and they dont even know *why* theyre talking shit #they just think hes an asshole bc of bullshit theyve heard/read and im sick of it!!!! im gonna write a novel where hes the hero just to #spite you fucks!!!! fuck!