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lesserfandomappreciation · 3 years

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📝 i love hearing about other writer wips!

Yay! Thanks! I have too many WIPS that I am struggling to begin but I’m having a hoot outlining them. 1. Egyxos 3 years later!

Summary: Leo is now a teenager in high school, trying to balance out student life, being an older brother, a social life and being part of the Golden Army in another world. However, things go sideways when one of his teachers is attacked by Anubi wielding a mysterious ancient artifact from a civilization long forgotten. Leo and his allies must race to find the source of Exaton’s new power, as well as unlock the secrets from a civilization long lost to time. And why was Anubi targeting his teacher in the first place?

Egyxos is one of my favorite shows in terms of world-building but I HATED how few arcs there were in terms of character growth! There’s so much potential there and it’s under utilized, so I decided to do a fast-forward in time to after the events in the show. It’s a chance to put the characters through new circumstances as well as expand on the world-building because there are so many questions the show never answered.

One thing I wished the show had done was give Leo a human ally from Earth. Leo is a kid who is suddenly having to not only deal with the stresses of human life but also being a hero in an entirely different dimension with world-ending consequences. That’s a lot for any kid. Not having anyone on Earth to open up to who can relate to the Earth-side perspective he has would have been hard on him. So I made an OC for him to open up and to step up for him because what do you mean ‘he has to always be available for every problem in Egyxos?’ What do you mean ‘12 years old is a great age to start having to fight in a literal war?”

(TBH I’m super hyped for her to interact with the rest of the cast simply because having a responsible adult confront them on some of their non-sense would be delightful.)

Aaaaaand because I like to make things hard on myself, I decided to re-write some of the characters to better fit into the world, flesh out their backstory or some combination of the two. Leo for example having grown up a bit has a slightly different personality shaped from his experiences, including the fact he struggles to really open up to others. At the same time I reimagined him because why is any descendant of any pharoah white, so that was fun to do.

Outlining wise I’m actually at 25,000 words of backstory development, arc planning and character personality writing, plus research for the other ancient civilization I want to add in. It’s going to be a bit before I’m really done with the outline, simply because every time I finish one part, it gives me 6 ideas for other arcs.

2. Red Shoes and the 7 Dwarves OC

I have like 2-3 ocs for Red Shoes, one of them having been re-worked for another WIP I’m having fun with, but basically they’re possible love interests for the rest of the cast of Red Shows besides Merlin and Snow.

Thumbelina as the name implies is the tiny little lady from the story Thumbelina. I found out through a bit of research that originally in the credits after the movie it was going to be Thumbelina, not little Red Riding Hood, who was going to be Arthur’s love interest but in the end I wound up making her Kio’s love interest. She’s not as developed as the other oc I mentioned, but she’s been fun to flesh out.

What’s been really fun is figuring out what type of personality she’d have after the events in the story because holy smokes does Thumbelina go through the ringer. She literally got kidnapped, nearly forcibly married to a frog, forced to be a bug’s friend before she was ditched, dressed up and then ditched again, almost forced to marry a mole against her will because she was guilt-tripped by a mouse who had saved her, saved by a bird she saved only to be betrayed at the last second by said bird who could have flown her home and instead flies her to the fairy prince who forcibly marries her. Yes the story implies she marries the Prince by choice, but considering what fairies typically do to people who don’t agree with them, I can’t imagine Thumbelina would be thrilled at the idea. Especially since her repeatedly stated goal is to go home to her mother.

Personality-wise she’s a bright little lady who understandably has severe trust issues around strangers given her incredible streak of bad luck in the past. Her experiences have made her be more observant of her surroundings and quick-minded so as to escape any situation. Plus, because she’s survived so long in the wilds at her diminutive height she’s very knowledgeable about the woods and how to really thrive in a tough situation.

The other oc is Yvonne the Hunter. There’s a lot of hunters in fairytales to work with so I thought it would be fun for there to be one hell of a good hunter who is not actively trying to be part of fairytales but it keeps falling that way. Also I’m a sucker for a badass female hunter who can kick ass without any hesitation.

Yvonne is the eldest of 4 kids in a very poor family in the woods. To help support her much younger siblings Yvonne became a hunter, taking on deadly kills and bounties for deep wood beasts that haunted the surrounding mountains. With the added in cash flow she was able to better support her siblings once her parents died, wanting to provide them a good life.

Currently she has taken on the hunt of a life-time; a dragon attacking the northern lands repeatedly, but completely untrackable. The reward? A king’s favor. Any favor from a king, completely impossible for him to refuse. It’s a chance Yvonne could not pass up (for more than one reason).

I fluctuated between Arthur and Jack for her and I’m still undecided, because

a) I’m a sucker for a stern badass and a himbo starting off as rivals and becoming attached.

b) I’m a sucker for a pretty boy falling for a feral hunter.

so it’s going to be a while before Yvonne or Thumbelina’s stories will be written, though I do have some outlines for them.

3. The many requests from this inbox!

I’m always working on an ask for this blog, so there’s a lot of WIPs at the moment.

4. Grace and Alexander

Summary: Lorcia. The country with an army unlike any other. At it’s northern mountain border the empire of Marvansk looms - ever-eager to take the southern fertile lands to feed its expanding population. For centuries they have been at a deadlock, unable to start war without plummeting the entirety of the continent into decades of combat. Grace Tenorio, the head of the legendary Black Brigade, has grown under these circumstances. Never has there been a day where the Lorcian military woman was able to discount the lethal presence of the northern bully. When air pirates raids increase at the the Northern border and invitations from the north to discuss collaboration arrive, she must escort the Foreign Minister deep into enemy territory to find the root of the recent attacks. Alexander Volkov - the merchant turned leader of the finest pirate hunters the empire has to offer - is a man who seeks redemption for a crime not his own. When a brilliant battle axe of a woman arrives from the south seeking out to hunt the worst of all threats, the two will have to make alliances with an enemy of the opposing land to take down a threat larger than either could have ever assumed.

I’ve been working on this one for years now. A steampunk adventure/romance with plenty of intrigue, ass-kicking, enemies to lovers, pining, and badassery all around. I try to write a bit of it every now and again with mixed results. It’s more of a personal project than a fandom WIP but who knows? Maybe someday I’ll get it out there.

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amuseoffyre · 5 years

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What are your thoughts on the umbrella academy? Vanya looks to be an amalgamation if sailors Saturn, Neptune and uranus

Alas, this analogy passes me by because I have never once seen Sailor Moon in any incarnation.

However, regarding academy, I have thoughts.

I love a well-built storyline, especially one that throws you straight in the deep end, when you see the kids coming back together and all you know is that they are pretty much all estranged but now, they’re back together because their dad is dead. It gives such delicious teasers about all the different factions and fall-outs that slowly build up through the series. Every dynamic makes so much sense once you see it all in context.

Also, I love the fact they manage to portray accurate sibling dynamics, which vary between brother/sister, sister/sister and brother/brother. Of course there are going to be difference and of course, that’s going to affect how one sibling sees another (ie. Allison versus Luther’s approach to Vanya in the final episode)

I’m so intrigued/bemused by the father fella. I was half asleep when I watched the finale at 5am, so Imma have to rewatch and make my brain understand some stuff a bit better. The backstory, the implication, there was a lot there that went unsaid and I didn’t have the braincells to compute. I have a weekend. I will make use of it.

Now, characters:

Klaus - I. love. him. From the moment he crashed in, his wryness and brokeness and snark made me go “yes. This one”. And then when you find out about why there’s the brokeness, I wanted to punch the old man in the teeth. That scene in the crypt was… yeah. No. Klaus is my precious baby and I love him. (I also love the fact that he plays Cha-cha and Hazel so smoothly, despite being in mad withdrawal, having been tortured into bits, and still manages to do it with a smirk. And the fact some of his ghost people high-fived in the background)

Vanya - Vanya is the postergirl for the damage emotional abuse can do to a kid. Assuming you’re ordinary in a world where everyone is ordinary is fine. Being telepathically forced to believe you’re ordinary - when you’re not - in a narrow world where everyone you know is extraordinary is Not Good.

I was a bit iffy about how quickly she fell in with ‘Leonard’, but when you’ve been as horribly neglected and socially isolated as she was for her whole childhood, it makes sense she would cling to the one person who actively sought her out and told her she was special. I am a bit… eh…. about the little voice telling her to unleash hell, though. I get bored of people who have that as an explanation for why they’ve killed a bunch of people. They used it for every frigging villain in the old Spiderman films and I am Done with it.

Five - amazing. I love him. I love that he was a stubborn little git when he accidentally screwed up his life and that only intensified with age. Also, the love story with Dolores was sweet but so sad. The kid playing old-man Five is brilliant and I can’t wait to see where they go with him.

Allison - oh sweetheart. So many things done with the best of intentions and all going horribly, horribly wrong. No one raised in that environment was ever going to be run-of-the-mill parent material and then when you find out that she’d been instructed to use her powers on family members before, like it was totally normal, no wonder she screwed up so badly with her daughter. And the fact she forgave Vanya immediately and wanted to protect her and keep her safe says everything about her.

Diego - he took a little while to grow on me, but when it hit me, it hit hard. I do find it interesting that he was the one always snarling about their dad being a monster when no one else would really say it and now, I wonder if it was less about what their father was doing to him and more what he was doing to everyone else in the family, because Diego pretends not to care, but I honestly think he cares more than anyone in the whole academy. The way he looked after Grace and Klaus especially made me so happy. Oh and the way he kept on showing up around the detective the same way Catra does in She-Ra. “Hey Eudora” :D :D :D

Ben - I know we don’t have much of him yet, but what we have, I absolutely adore. The fact he’s literally the angel on Klaus’s shoulder - an eye-rolling, snarking angel - is a delight, despite the fact he’s there because he ded.

Luther - Out of all of the characters, this fella frustrates me so much. I understand his obsession with “I’m number one”, which is so childish - and understandably so - compared to the rest of the gang, since he’s the only one who never really grew up into a mostly-functional adult. It’s the fact that he keeps making bloody stupid calls, especially when anyone else tries to take point or have ideas.

Oh and his behaviour towards Vanya is… ARGLE. Find out your sister was tortured and emotionally manipulated by your father for fear of her powers? Why, now she’s older and knows about those powers again and is sobbing and scared in your arms, why don’t you do exactly the same thing your father did instead of HELPING her and stop all your other siblings from helping her too? Well done, dumbass. You helped trigger the apocalypse.

I get that he was reacting emotionally because of what had happened to Allison, but he literally learned your father and the chimp lied about huge elements of their lives multiple times in the past week and now, he listens to what they say?

Apart from them, I adored Hazel and Agnes. They were so frigging sweet. And Cha-cha was awesome, but completely terrifying in a kind of terminator way.

Otherwise, I have a bunch alternate universes rolling around in my head, where one thing changed and the ripples it would have. Here are a few:

Leonard/Harold is not a frigging moron. Instead of lying to her about the book and her powers and things, he is open and honest with her from the word go, unlike everyon else in her life. “My dad hurt me so I made him stop” would ring a lot of bells for someone raised in the Umbrella Academy. He lies about where he got the book, of course, because stalking her brother would be awkward. But he could just say that a junkie was trying to sell stuff and the book seemed important, so he looked her up as the author of the book about the academy, in case it was important. And so, she trusts him completely and he gently, gently, gently manipulates her into turning on her family.

Allison breaking her hold on Vanya much earlier by telling her about the room and what happened in it

Luther actually trusting his siblings over the father who turned him part-primate and when Vanya comes to be forgiveness and ask for help, he helps her

Klaus accidentally bringing David back from Vietnam with him and the awkwardness of trying to explain to everyone that woops, I stumbled into the Vietnam war and found love

In conclusion, me likey :)

#the umbrella academy

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narrators-journal · 4 years

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into wonderland part 1

This is prone to change in the future.

It was a very sunny day when Luna met one of the weirdest people she’s ever seen. He was a tall, white haired man with yellow-green eyes like a snake. She met him at her job when he came to visit the important person she was a maid for. She didn’t hear why he’d come, but according to the younger son of her boss it had something to do with The call. The little dark haired maid didn’t know much about the organization, but she assumed they were to do with some private school for the rich.

However, the representative they sent was still an oddball. The second time she saw him was when she was sweeping the patio that looked out onto a beautiful, colorful garden the lady of the house cherished. Luna wasn’t out there to care for the plants though, she was sweeping beneath the fancy glass table they had out there when someone walked out to join her, “Are you Lilith?” The white haired snake asked, and she nodded, “oh how interesting! This is going to seem very odd, but can I have some of your blood?” he was smiling and talking so nonchalantly, despite the creepy request, Luna however narrowed her green eyes at him until he tried to make his ask less creepy, “I tested the children, and now I wish to see if you have any magical energy in your body.” he said, and while she didn’t relax a lot, she stopped giving him a dirty look and let him take some of her blood.

He then vanished with it, going off somewhere to test her. While he was doing that, the maid just cleaned, jumping when the man with greenish-yellow eyes returned with a big grin about ten minutes later. “Good news Lilith! You’re going to come along with me to the headquarters of the organization.” he chirped, “excuse me? Why?” she asked, the grinning man throwing his arm around her shoulders, “because, my dear, you are brimming with magical power, and I’d like to try and recruit you into The Call.” he explained, dragging her away, “and don’t worry I already told the master of the house where you’re going.” he assured as they went, ignoring Luna’s complaints until they were half way to his car, “Oh, that reminds me, do you have a sibling?” he asked, and the ebony haired maid just stared at him until a second female voice spoke up, “Bacchus! Introduce yourself” the girl ordered, making the snowy haired man come to a realization, “oh how rude of me! I’m Bacchus Alderidge, you can call me Nys. I’m a representative of The Call organization.” he chirped, bowing to Luna.

The maid relaxed a bit after learning his name, “so...I can call you ‘nice’?” “well...no, Nys is short for Dionysus, another version of my name.” he explained with a big grin as Luna sat with the 13 year old looking girl with copper hair in the car.

Along the way, Luna told Bacchus and the girl, Lucy, about her younger twin, Nico, who Bacchus was instantly adamant about picking up as well. So, pretty soon Luna, Nico, Lucy, and the weirdo with odd eyes were walking into a beautiful mega mansion. “So, why are me and Luna here?” Nico asked, just as confused as his older twin, but Bacchus didn’t answer, leaving Lucy to, “You both have magical potential at least, probably some sort of power, so The Call wants to recruit you into our ranks.” she said, and the dark haired man nodded, “What do we get if we join? Money?” Nico asked, and Lucy nodded, “at least, we’d also offer you a place to stay as well, money, adventure if you want that.” she said, though all Nico obviously wanted was money, “I’m in,” he assured excitedly, looking at his twin when she nudged him, “oh come on Luna, it’s a well paying job with free housing!” “We don’t know what they want us to do! Don’t just jump into it.” She argued, but her brother just rolled his own green eyes at her.

Meanwhile Bacchus whirled on Luna, “Are you called Luna? I thought your name was Lilith.” he said, his yellow-green eyes shining with intrigue as she explained, “Uh, Luna’s just...a nickname. People started calling me it when I was younger because I liked the night time so much and the moon.” she explained, and Bacchus backed off “Oh, what a boring backstory for a nickname” he sighed as he and Lucy led the twins through the mansion and to a fancy sun room where tea was waiting for them.

Cautiously, Luna sat in one of the chairs with her brother nearby, Bacchus and Lucy sat down as well, the white haired man stretching out on one of the love seats. They sat there for a bit, Lucy sipping a cup of tea while Luna and Nico just waited for an explanation of what they now have to do since Nico’s kind of signed them up for The Call. “Uhhh are we supposed to do anything, or are we just accepted into the group?” Nico eventually asked, and Lucy snorted, “No, it’s not that easy to join The Call. We have...an initiation process of sorts for you.” she explained, and instantly Luna was on edge. Her anxiety only sky rocketed when Bacchus spoke next, “You’re gonna have to go into a pool of goo and you might drown, you might dissapear, you might get a Guardian.” the odd man said with a nonchalant shrug, which made Lucy throw a decorative pillow at him. “Don’t let him scare you, it’s not that dangerous.” the redhead assured, glaring at her companion as she sipped her tea again. For a long moment, the room was quiet, only really disturbed when Nico muttered an apology to his sister for not heeding her warning earlier. After another stretch of time, Bacchus graced the room with his voice, “Can we get to drowning them in goo already? All this tense silence is boring.” he whined, getting another glare from the thirteen year old girl he worked with before she turned to Luna and Nico, “Do you two still want to join The Call? It’s okay if you don’t,” The twins looked at one another, Luna thinking for a long moment before she tentatively nodded “The money would be nice,” Luna admitted, and her brother nodded in agreement, so Lucy stood up and nodded. After that, she led them off to a specific room. As they went, the ebony haired maid felt a heavy sense of dread settle into the pit of her stomach, which increased when she saw the initiation room.

#short story #ocs #writing #part 1

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idolizerp · 5 years

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LOADING INFORMATION ON AURORA’S MAIN VOCAL SONG HYEJUNG…

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 28 DEBUT AGE: 23 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 18 COMPANY: Midas ETC: This member has become known as the nation’s ideal type for her extensive photoshoot work

IDOL IMAGE

Before seeing talent when she was scouted, Midas Media saw marketability; someone who held themselves with a pristine grace, who had an almost ethereal, celestial quality about them, and would, in turn, reel in the masses with poise, sweet visuals, and later on, the voice of an angel. It was no secret that a past Miss Korea candidate would be someone that knew how to stand before a crowd with confidence, and likability, but her backstory of coming from the country, especially from more humble beginnings, only continued the narrative that they wrote for her the entire time with which she trained. Instead of someone who would appear more bombastic or quirky in nature, she was meant to be almost unreal—a source of light, a calming presence, a gentle whisper in a room full of explosive voices, someone who was meant to display maturity, and a sure sense of self. Being that she’s amongst the eldest girls in her group, they wanted her to portray herself as something of maternal figure: doting upon and caring for her group-mates, encouraging them to do better, providing wisdom and guidance, as well as being the foundation to what the group existed upon. It was a lot of pressure put on her, but luckily, she fell into it somewhat naturally. After all, she had younger siblings, so she was used to being a caretaker.

As time went on, though, she had managed to create an image that was almost hell to keep up, especially now that she’s been gifted the title of the ‘Nation’s Ideal Type.’ Despite her shortcomings in dance, and her minimal vocal flubs due to exhaustion every now and again, she is revered as a member who is overall well-liked; her charitable nature, overall saccharine sweet disposition, and warmth when dealing with other people have made people believe that she isn’t necessarily human, and that is wholly her own undoing. Instead, when she is seen acting out of character, people are quick to attack her, and it’s left her sitting in pools of anxiety. In short, she’s terrified of making a mistake; of being too tired to don a smile; of falling short; of standing center during performances when she’s not hitting high notes; the list seems almost eternal. How on earth is she meant to continue on the flowered path she’s made for herself when too much is expected from her? She’s old enough to understand her role in the industry, and works to continue in good graces, but the pressure is growing to be too heavy for her to carry. Will she ever be able to make a mistake, and rise from it stronger? Or will she perpetually live in fear that she’ll appear too ‘human’ in one instance and become the nation’s new punching bag?

Only time will tell.

IDOL HISTORY

1998.

A little girl is in a seated position behind the welcoming desk at one of Busan’s most popular hot spring spas, her mother turning to shush her every once in awhile as she helps the guests who’ve come to enjoy the exotic, relaxing facilities the resort offers. With dolls clutched in each hand, Hyejung plays out a scene where the pair of them are apart of an idol duo—the two of them performing to her favorite songs by S.E.S., and other similar acts that she’s seen on television. Coincidentally enough, she’s named one of her toys Eugene after her biased member in her current favorite group, and often has told her family that she wants to be just like her someday.

Lost in the fantasy, the little one begins to sing along to the melody in her head, the song ‘I’m Your Girl’ by the aforementioned group having been played to death on cassette at her house, and instinctively, the older turns around to tell her to quiet down, but it’s in that moment when a man from beyond the counter—a patron of the spa—offers her a compliment on her voice; its high-pitched, treble quality nowhere near perfect, and honestly even a little grating at times, but his sweet sentiment made her feel almost electric; invincible. It fueled her with the confidence that she needed to not only sing louder, but to put the dolls down and perform herself; her silly actions causing him, and her mother, to smile and chuckle along with her.

This was one of the first memories that she has of performing to bring joy, and to make people smile, and from that point onward, she would do it all of the time. Whether it was on-stage at her school’s talent shows, or in the privacy of her living room with her little brother and sister, Hyejung never ceased an opportunity to show people the ‘talents’ that she possessed.

2002-2005.

She remembers staying up on many rainy nights listening to her mother wallow in despair; the woman who’d been there to support her, and to love her, now in shambles as a note was left upon her bedside table—one penned by her father. For years now, he had been struggling with a gambling addiction; one that left the family searching for loose change in the cushions of their couch to help with late bill payments, and who left the woman of the house picking up multiple jobs to keep a roof over their heads. No matter how much she tried to, Hyejung couldn’t make her mother smile like she used to—whether in song, in jokes, in playfulness, her elder was in too deep of a depression that nothing brought her joy. All of her hard work had all been for nothing, and although she felt extremely defeated, she ended up having to move herself, and her kids, in with her parents—both of whom were retired, and owned a house near the port. This time of growth, and transition, left the oldest Song sibling feeling as though she was responsible for her brother and sister, and she vowed that she would always take care of them.

As she grew older, Hyejung was essentially the caretaker of her home. She would not only become a guardian to her siblings, but she would prepare meals for the household, do housework, and whatever else she needed in order to ensure that everyone was well taken care of. It was a lot of responsibility to place on someone of her age, but she knew that she had to contribute if she wanted things to slowly return to how they used to be; if she wanted to see her mother smile again. Throughout this process, though, she was focusing so much on everyone else that she was now beginning to lose her own sparkle. Instead of emanating joy, she was turning cold to the world that she once loved; to the dreams that once made her feel hopeful and whole.

2008.

After getting permission to start her first job at a port-side restaurant near her house, Hyejung had never been more exhausted in her life. Truly, she had no idea how she was managing both work, and school, but it was something that needed to be done, and she was focused on getting by no matter what the cost was. However, what she didn’t know was that this was the year where she would be faced with one of the hardest decisions that she’s ever had to make, and it would force her to continue to grow up at a rapid pace in comparison to many of her peers.

As she closed up one evening, she happened to leave the café door open, and serendipitously, she was overheard singing along to BoA’s ‘Everlasting’ as it played on the stereo; the man who once complimented her singing in the past returning to her under a new guise. Neither of them recognized one another at first, but as he explained that he was a chair on the board for Miss Korea, she became intrigued. All of her friends in high school would tell her that she had the looks to compete in the annual event, but she never believed them; thinking they were joking around, or being far too kind to her, since they were her closest comrades, but when a stranger began to mention that he thought she should compete the following year, she wasn’t sure what to make out of all of it. Could this have been a peculiar way for him to hit on her? Was he playing some sort of cold trick of some sorts? She truly had no idea, but the more he talked to her, the more she listened to him; nodding her head, digesting the information, and trying to decide on the best possible way for her to reply. Instead, she told him that she’d think about it, and with that, he let her be; not wanting to take up anymore of her time.

When she arrived home with the story to tell her relatives, all of them were completely excited; perplexed that she was taking this in such a calm, collected fashion. All of them agreed with his sentiments, and no matter what she tried to say to them to simmer them down, they were very insistent that she look into it. After all, maybe it would be good for her if she learned to gain self-confidence; if she became something of a celebrity; if she was given the attention that she hadn’t given herself over the last few years. The first step to doing so would be to take the crown in the Miss Busan-Ulsan region, and from there, she could be as good as gold.

mid-2009.

This was the moment that she’d been talked into for months now, and even though her family didn’t have any money to give her to assist in the purchasing of dresses, makeup, and what-have-you, they offered an abundance of emotional support, and guidance. Not only that, but Hyejung, her mother, and grandmother, all worked together to create the dresses that she would wear—all sewn by hand, and the machine that belonged to the household. It took months for them to agree on one that made her shine the most for the final phase of the competition, but once they did, they were confident in her abilities. Not only were they impressed with her outer appearance, but also with what she’s prepared for the talent competition. Being that she was unable to afford a proper singing coach, she studied the craft independently at home; watching countless videos about improving technique and performance, and even recording herself on her phone so she could listen back, and correct her mistakes. Sure, it wasn’t as accurate as having someone with a trained ear listen and critique her, but she made due.

She always made due.

When the moment finally came, though, she was incredibly nervous. She’d never been in front of a crowd of this size before, and even then, it was minuscule in comparison to the national competition that she had her sights set on. While she had expected this, and knew that it was going to be daunting, she hoped that, once the lights hit her, she’d be able to forget the nerves that resided in her stomach; forget what was on the line, and just exist; just be in the moment.

The few hours that she was there was a total blur, one that she barely remembers to this day, but she must’ve done something right, for she was given the crown, title, and a one-way ticket to Miss Korea training camp in Seoul. She only had a small ten days to gather her belongings before taking the train to the capital, and they, too, flew by in the bat of an eye. It was hard for her to kiss all of them goodbye; to be on her own, and to worry about how things were going to be without her; the codependency she felt towards her loved ones worse than ever before. She couldn’t help but feel afraid of every possible outcome.

Afraid of potentially failing. Afraid of not being there for her family. Afraid that she wasn’t as beautiful as everyone said she was.

When she departed, and eventually ended up where she was meant to reside for quite awhile, she had her first taste of separation anxiety in years—the last it happened was when her father left she, her mother, and siblings, behind. It negatively affected her standing in the camp, and more often than not, she would rush to a phone to call home whenever she could; lamenting to them about how she wasn’t sure she could handle this. Their words meant so much to her, and though they hated to hear how upset she was, they knew that giving up would only make her feel worse. It was during this time when she learned to lean on the girls she bunked with—her competition—whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on. Not only that, but all of them were in the same boat, too. All of them were being told that they needed to lose inches from their waist, to receive plastic surgery procedures, to ditch their humanity in exchange for physical beauty. It was a hard-knock life for the duration they were there, but when the final thirty-two women were selected, and her name was one of them on the list, it all somehow felt worth it.

The heartache, the missed sleep, the harsh words… all were worth it to know she had made it this far; that her charms, her charisma, and her assets carried her to the national pageant.

It was there, though, where she failed to make it as the winner, or a runner-up, and it hurt more than anything in the world, but as always, she made due.

She always made due.

late-2009.

A surprise came knocking on her door, once again, though, and it helped rouse her from the soul-swallowing depression that she’d experienced from July to September. While she returned back to work, and her day-to-day life once again, she wasn’t expecting to be greeted by yet another person who had a deal for her, but this time, it was from a representative from Midas Media—one of the current entertainment powerhouses in all of Korea. They had seen her in Miss Korea, and were pleased with her visuals, and her talent portion, and were curious to know if she’d be interested in auditioning for their company privately. It seemed like both a blessing, and a curse, and she took awhile to respond to them; thinking long, and hard, about whether or not she wanted to be subjected to harsh criticism, sleepless nights, and emotional turmoil all over again. After all, the last time she put herself on the line, it didn’t necessarily end in her favor, and she was reminded of that almost every night before she drifted off to sleep.

Before she knew it, though, she was aboard a train to the nation’s capital all over again, and she had no idea what was about to transpire, but she did her best to remain as strong as possible.

What did she have to lose anyway?

Once she arrived, Hyejung did her best to paint on a smile; to portray herself as they once saw her on their television screens. If there’s one thing she learned how to due from the pageant training camp, it was to put on a mask when all else failed. When she performed for them, they all agreed that, while she wasn’t perfect, and lacked proper training to hone her skills, she had the potential to be great—which is exactly what they thought of her in Miss Korea, too. What helped her case even further, too, was that she was beautiful—a girl who was almost a carbon copy of the woman who birthed her back in 1990. With that in mind, they decided to offer her a trainee position, but it would require her fully relocating away from the home she helped build up until this point; the one that held her heart, and the one where she felt safe, and so, so loved.

She hesitated for quite sometime, but after she was urged to by her mother, she agreed to start learning beneath them, becoming their pupil in that moment. After a few weeks back in Busan to pack her belongings and say goodbye to everyone, she was off on her own just before her 19th birthday in October—her heart being pulled in many different directions, and she truly didn’t know whether to be excited for this new chapter, or to be fearful of the unknown.

Much like the training she had already been through, this one wasn’t much different. In fact, it felt even more competitive than before, but she did her best not to allow some of the others to intimidate her, or make her feel insecure. She knew she wasn’t the best singer, and she knew that she certainly wasn’t the best dancer, or rapper, but she was there to learn; to make the most of her experience, and even if she didn’t début, it’d only be more experience under her belt. If performing is what she wanted, maybe she’ll discover that she should’ve started here instead of there. Eugene didn’t wear a sash and tiara, anyway, and that’s who she aspired to be like. Hopefully this wouldn’t be a waste of her time in the end.

2010-2013.

“You still have trouble with your breath support.” “The pitch on your top notes still isn’t good; you’re flat.” “How come it looks like you have two left feet when you dance?”

Believe it or not, these comments still don’t burn as badly as the ones Hyejung was given during the days leading up to the pageant. She took these in stride, and worked harder; viewing this much like she did her restaurant job back home in Busan. If she had a bad day, she needed to learn from it, and keep pushing forward. If she was tired, she needed to drink extra americanos until she felt revived. Instead of being berated as time went on for not being thin enough, or not having the most angular jawline in all of South Korea, she was only truly judged for her growth as an artist. Sure, she was put on diets occasionally, and she added more time to her workout routine, but overall, those things helped her cope with the stress of the uphill climb to the top.

As weeks turned to months, and months into years, she was beginning to realize that her voice was her strongest suit. Even when it wasn’t at its best, and when she made mistakes, there was a confidence there that she didn’t possess when it came to dance. Time and time again, she was pulled aside by instructors and told that she was dancing too fast for the beat, or too slow, or that she wasn’t adding crispness to certain movements, or softness to others. It was a lot to wrap her head around, and she seriously wondered how professional entertainers were able to both sing, and dance, while on-stage. It took all of her focus to do an eight-count, much less do that, and focus on ensuring that her vocals were pristine. The earlier part of her lengthy training adventure was definitely the hardest, and she despised that she felt so inferior—especially when compared to the girls who were so talented in all-fields; the quadruple threats who’ve worked hard for this since they were children, and had a magic about them that she didn’t have.

One and a half years in, she almost threw in the towel.

The weight of continuing on a path that led nowhere was growing heavier, and heaver, by the millisecond, and she didn’t think she was strong enough to support it. Due to overuse of her voice, it had become hurt one too many times, and without even having to diet, she’d lost so much weight from the constant dance lessons that she felt frail. It was taking such a dark toll on her body, but she knew that she needed to persevere. No matter how battered and bruised she was, especially in spirit, she couldn’t imagine all of this turning into a waste of time. So, time and time again, she picked herself back up, and pushed onward.

“Your breath support has improved a lot. Keep it up!” “I didn’t realize you could reach such high notes, Hyejung!” “You’re still not the best we’ve seen, but at least you’re not the worst anymore.”

Two years in, critiques started to shift—the knowledge she’d gained from her instructors paying off. Of course there would always be room for improvement, and as an artist, she knew that she would never be a master of anything—she’d always grow, and always work towards new goals—but at least she knew she was evolving; that she worked hard enough to be praised.

2014-2018.

Right before she took to the stage in February, she recalled what all had transpired for her to reach this moment; remembered how much blood, sweat, tears, and phone-calls to mother went into the making of her début performance.

Her final evaluation was her most grueling, and even there, she had managed to make mistakes. How on earth did she forget a few steps in her choreography? Why did she start singing the second verse before the first? What got her by was the fact that, instead of faltering beneath the slip-ups, Hyejung continued—she made it work. It was a song she’d come to love after its release; one with an upbeat, sweet sound, and a three semi-tone climb to the highest belted note that’d be great for showing off range—both emotionally, and in terms of vocal height. It was a title that was released by her favorite soloist of the moment—one belonging to MSG Entertainment—in 2013. ‘Good Day’ had become almost a mantra to her, especially at this stage in her career. Whenever she was faced with adversity, it was an anthem she played to bring a smile to her face, and she was glad that she had chosen it to woo the team who would later place her in Aurora’s final lineup.

The first few promotion cycles all seem like such a blur now, but despite the harshness of online commenters, she’s made it out mostly unscathed. While a few have a few choice words about her age, and others constantly point out that she’s not the most sharp while dancing on live shows, one pleasant thing is always agreed upon—the fact that she’s the frontrunner for the best vocalist of her generation. It’s a sweet gesture to be considered as such, especially when she shares similarities with other girls that are her rivals, but altogether, she knows she’s still in development, and will forever work hard to continue to prove herself. One thing she doesn’t recall so fondly, though, was her group’s starting concepts. While she didn’t find the innocence, and the whimsy, too intense in the beginning, it was slowly beginning to grow old; her maturity in conjunction with the role she’s meant to portray vastly different. As time drifted on, they began to ditch the fresh-faced, schoolgirl look and grew more into the women they were; which she was happier with.

After all, no matter what she was faced with, she always made do.

2019.

“Five years after début, and Hyejung still can’t dance.” “Her voice is overrated… I don’t get why people think she’s so good.” “Her visuals have always been so plain to me. I don’t know.”

Five years under the spotlight, and she’s exhausted. Little-by-little, she could feel herself fading and it’s all because of how long she’s subjected herself to a life of limited freedom; a life of caring far too much, and feeling inferior. Five years under the spotlight, and she’s still not where she’s expected. It’s wearing on her, and she feels as though no matter how hard she tries, she’ll always be made to feel as though she’s not good enough.

“No wonder she lost Miss Korea…” “Nation’s Ideal Type? Are you kidding me?” “Is it just me or does she seem tense on stage?” “She really does bring the other girls down. She can’t dance.”

Five years of keeping up an almost perfect, immaculate public image, and she’s being consumed by anxiety—gnawed away at by second thoughts, and by other people’s opinions. What if she says the wrong thing? What if she uploads the wrong photos to Instagram? What if people catch her actually being human for a change?

Five years into her professional career, and her talents have plateaued. She’s almost too busy to attend private lessons, and work on her choreography, but she still paints on a smile, and prays that she’ll be okay. She has to make do. She has to make people smile.

Five years into being an idol, and she wonders if she made a mistake.

The answer is yet to be determined.

#id.bio #id.midas #id.aurora #id.im yoona

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