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ramblesbrambles · 10 months

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*Cocks watergun of holy water* Mr. Siedelman’s haunted

Just finished Cybersix and am contributing to the fandom the only way I know how: Deranged AU/canon divergence ramblings at 2am.

*Note: this is Cartoon compliant, not Comic compliant*

After the events of Episode 12 ‘Daylight Devil’, some of the students start theorising, leading several of Adrien’s friends (and students) to some very interesting (and mostly wrong) conclusions.

*Long post underneath*

Here is what everyone knows:

Lucas: His friend Adrien knows about and is in cahoots with Cybersix in some form. His friend Adrien has never been in the same place as Cybersix (or at least, Adrien has never been seen in the same place as Cybersix) and is a little weird sometimes, disappearing whenever something related to Cybersix shows up, but never directly involving himself. Keeps deflecting whenever he gets hurt. Hates seeing doctors and hospitals. Just yesterday, some of his students told him that Adrien had ‘gone weird again’ and ‘seen something in the woods’, right before disappearing and falling off a cliff. Later, at the hospital, an ‘evil spirit’ (as quoted by the poor old nurse on duty) had apparently chased him out the hospital and through town, where he had somehow managed to lose it. Adrien deflected all of everyones questions like an old pro, definitely downplaying his injuries. Where was Cybersix? Questioning her later that night, she tried her best to get the attention off of Adrien, which was even more suspicious, considering they were supposed to be friends of some sort, and with the way she answered some of his questions…

----------------

“Are you sure he’s ok? He looked like he fought a cheese grater and lost,” said Lucas, pacing around his apartment. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and if the only other way to ask about his best friend’s well-being was through the vigilante grapevine. Well.

Cybersix smiled, but Lucas noted how it seemed almost tighter than usual, like the skin on the right side of her face was uncomfortable.

“As I said before, we-”

We?

“-I-I mean I’ll-He’ll be alright, just needs a night of uninterrupted sleep.”

Lucas frowned. “I get that you and him are… Friends. Of some kind, but you do know that Adrien is a regular human being just like me, right? Except unlike me, he doesn’t exactly have a background of being a pro junior boxer.”

Cybersix seemed… Surprised at his observation? Almost like it hadn’t occurred to her that Adrien was a regular human being. This was strange, since she always tried her best to keep regular humans such as himself away from whatever was going on with her and that weird bloodthirsty kid Josè.

“Oh, that’s right. I uh, forget that. Sometimes.”

Cybersix, Lucas thought to himself, you need to figure out how to lie better.

“Anyways, I should be heading off for tonight. Get some rest Lucas, you’ll need the energy for the test tomorrow.”

Test?? The biology surprise test only Adrien knew he was organising???

And with that, Cybersix leapt from the windowsill, leaving Lucas many pieces of the puzzle to put together. ————— Later at school, after the test (that Cybersix knew about somehow? Adrien must have told her at some point, but it does seem strange how much Adrien and Cybersix knew of each other), Lucas overheard some of his students in the hallway.

“-telling you, it must have been the spirit of the woods!”

“And I’m telling you that it doesn’t exist! It’s just a ghost story meant to scare babies from going into the woods!”

“Then explain what Mr Siedelman saw that was both a) invisible and b) trying to kill him in the hospital!”

“I dunno, the weird black cat following him around?”

Lucas immediately pressed himself to the wall as quietly as he could, thankful that his class was empty. As much as he trusted Cybersix, it was infuriating how little information he was running on, and sometimes, teenage conspiracies held a grain of truth. Lucas didn’t plan on wearing a tinfoil hat anytime soon, but. It was worrying, how much was guesswork on who she was and why people were hunting her.

And just as he thought that, some of the students from the excursion passed the open classroom door where he hid.

“Oh come on, everyone knows about Mr Siedelman’s weird black cat! He keeps coming to class with its fur all over him, and Johnny saw them playing in the bushes just before the alleged ‘ghost attack’!”

Oh look, there went Samantha, wildly flailing her arms at Bertram’s ‘ghost attack’ theory.

“Ok, but how normal is a giant black cat in the middle of a city?! There’s gotta be some sort of supernatural explanation for it!”

Aaaaaaand there Bertram went again, shame that he kept missing the National Geographic portion of the biology lessons. Shaking his head, Lucas went on his way to meet up with Adrien. Lucas’d seen a lot of crazy things during his times as Cybersix’s companion, but all could be explained by mad science beyond his comprehension.

Although. How would science explain what was going on with Adrien? —————---------------------------

Lori: Mr Siedelman has, like, a weirdo girlfriend? Wife? Significant other? That runs around in a leather catsuit mainly during the night, who once saved her life and then got caught as part of a circus act. She (The leather kink wife) was described as a ‘humanoid robot’ by that Brat that abducted her that one time (did that kid really think putting on a circus outfit and a fake moustache was a disguise? Hah! What a loser!) but she showed an awful lot of emotion in trying to save her (Lori’s) life. In fact, most of the robots in that circus were dressed up nice but had eyes that were suuuuper dead. Superwhatshernumber had like, really nice eyes. Real life-like. Uncanny-valley life-like, that weirdo. And looks an awful lot like Mr Siedelman, now that she thinks about it…

*Lori meets up with Cybersix late at night on their usual meet ups where Lori loiters around and Cybersix eventually shows up to escort her back home and, while Cybersix is escorting her home, Lori uses the opportunity to ask Several Questions.

Cybersix: *This is it, I’m getting a good grade in normal human interactions, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve* ‘Makes an allusion about being Frankensteins monster, trying to imply she is not fully human and never was but instead gives the impression she has Seen the Other Side.

Lori: Did Cybersix straight up die???? Is she like, A Good Zombie fighting other zombies????? WAIT., Is she a GHOST inhabiting a ROBOT??? Is THAT why Mr Siedelman is so sketchy about her he doesnt want people to know about his ‘bringing-his-wife-back-from-the-dead sort of deal’????

Cybersix: *Alludes to her and Adrien being close in a way more fit to siblings than lovers*

Lori: DID MR SIEDELMAN BRING BACK HIS SISTER????? IS THAT WHY THEY LOOK SO SIMILAR????? anyways im back home now, this is A Lot to know but actually it doesn’t concern me so. Its whatever. Superhaunted6 has many things going on that do not need my presence and I Do Not wish to be kidnapped again. Not my business.

————————————-

Bertram and Samantha, best friends through thick and thicker decide enough is enough, they are Going to get to the Bottom of Whats Going On with Mr Siedelman and enlist the help of several other classmates.

If there is one thing classmates will team up for, it is Shenanigans.

Bertram: Heyyyy Mr Siedelman, what’s your opinion on like. Religion. And Churches.

Adrien: Actually, religion ties in very closely to some of this authors works-

Samantha: What Bertram is TRYING to ask is, what’s your opinion on being in church, surrounded by all those crucifixes.

Adrien, thinking ‘teenagers ask weird questions everyday this might as well happen’: Uh, Well. They’re. Peaceful? Yeah, peaceful would be the word I use. I’m not a church-goer and don’t really believe in god, but being within a church I can sense a lot of um. Restfulness? I suppose? It’s actually hard for me to be in a church for long periods of time with how comfortable and quiet it can be, if I’m not careful it feels like I could stay in there forever haha!

Bertram: cOOL THANKS MR SIEDELMAN *whispering to Samantha* oh he’s Definitely sensing some sort of divinity in those churches

Samantha: Im pretty sure he just politely told you that he thinks churches are boring but go off I guess —————————————- Headcount so far: Lucas’ side ie ‘Adrien my friend who I maybe have a crush on is connected somehow to this leatherclad nocturnal woman who I also have a crush on, there is mad science going on and I’m trying my best to trust them but even a scrap of information on what’s going on would be nice.’ Lucas

Bertrams side ie ‘Mr Siedelman is super suspicious and may be cavorting with forces beyond our mortal ken’ Bertram, Janni, Ronald, Lila

Samanthas side ie ‘Mr Siedelman is Super Weird but also in a Pathetic Regular Man kind of way’ Samantha, Jess, Alex, Marky

Lori’s ‘side’ ie ‘I have so much information about Mr Siedelman but actually I’m just going to fan the flames and see what chaos erupts’ (is incorrect about the information. This Is Important.) Lori

General Publics side ie ‘What in tarnation are these teenagers doing to this poor man’ ——————————————————— *Insert incident where Cybersix has half her face almost burned off saving Lori and, because she is on a Teacher’s stipend and also needs to pay rent, buys the cheapest concealer known to man, slaps it on and hopes for the best the next morning*

*She also reminisces to when, as Adrien, Lori was talking about how she was able to not be hit with The Eyes rays and saw him bouncing around like no-ones business and went ‘What’s up with that?’ and Cybersix’s response was basically ‘What? That didn’t happen? Are you sure you weren’t affected by the weird eye? I have no recollection?’* cringe momence.

Cybersix comes out of this semi-secure that Lori doesn’t know anything meanwhile Lori, who (thought she) saw Cybersix playing around with Adrien, is like ‘Does Adrien not know? Is Adrien an unknowing victim, haunted by the death of his sister but not realising she’s haunting him in turn? Is she trying to comfort him but also not letting him know she’s there? damn where’s the popcorn when you need it!’ ——————————————————— Janni: Ok so I’ve got the holy water (that I asked the priest my uncle to bless) and I’m gonna spray him

Marky: in the middle of class? in his face???

Janni: oh absolutely

*Sprays Adrien*

*Adrien has a flashback to the previous nights shenanigans where his face got Messed Up, hasn’t healed up properly and ended up using a Whole Lot of concealer to cover it up but it’s not very waterproof*

*Uh oh.*

The student then bear witness to about 1/2 of Mr Siedelman’s face beginning to melt off him, his flesh both cracked and bleeding, and red and raw underneath, him making an agonized yelp, before he ducks down and covers his face with his arms.

“Augh! Cut that out!”

Janni and Marky: NO FUCKING WAY. —————————————————— Marky: We’re TELLING you, he literally melted right in front of us!

Janni: It was Super red and fleshy Half the class saw him before he ran out saying something like ‘allergic reaction’ like??? It Was Just Water my guy

Bertram: You see?! He’s clearly some supernatural demon!!

Samantha: I have. no clue how you got Janni on your side but I can’t believe you would trigger his allergies like that!

Janni: IT WASN”T ALLERGIES

Samantha: Are you kidding me?? I could fold that guy like a lawn chair, I’d be more surprised if he Doesn’t have some kind of super allergy!

Lucas, hidden in the background: They sprayed him with Holy Water and he melted??? ——————————- Later, Lucas finds out that it was, in fact, makeup and that Adrien had just been hiding his injuries.

Lucas attempts to drag Adrien to the hospital, where Adrien sneaks out via rooftop parkour. UNbeknownst to Adrien, Lucas sees them jumping around like his good friend Cybersix and is starting to connect some dots. Not correctly, not in order, but he’s starting to get the idea that maybe, juuuuuuuust maybe, his friend Adrien is not exactly human either.

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE Lori has maybe. Alluded to knowing things about Mr Siedelmans weirdness and is leading the Conspiracy Troupe across town during a later part of the evening, sees Mr Siedelman parkouring across the rooftops hell on his heels and is like ‘Ok I know somethings going on with Mr Siedelman and I know that I should really be respecting his secrecy but this is an Opportune moment to cause chaos and maybe get the other teens to stop trying to bully the poor man.’

Bertram: I’m telling you Lori, we need to know! Is he a benign spirit, or a demon sent to kill us?!

Lori, observing said benign spirit/murderous demon jumping around like no-ones business: Personally, I’m thinking he’s got some kind of guardian angel taking over his body now and then. I mean, how else can the guy fly around like that?

Samantha: What do you- WHAT IS THAT.

Ronald: Is he FLYING over the rooftops????

Lori: Yeah, I’ve been telling him that it’s super obvious sometimes but he always says he doesn’t know what I’m talking about? Meanwhile the Leather Lady (who im friends with) who Roams the night and keeps me safe from creeps always knows what I’m talking about so. yknow.

Conspiracy troupe: Mr Siedelman doesn’t know what’s happening with him either confirmed??? Cybersix and Siedelman are connected in some way????

Samantha: ok but maybe he’s like, secretly athletic??? He’s gotta be Some measure of physically fit, Lonnie says hes seen the guy walk backwards and through a construction site whilst reading a book!

Lila: Or. Maybe he has. Eyes. in the back of his head, for real.

Janni: I mean, in the bible guardian angels are supposed to have a million eyes to see everything right?

Lori: But remember, he doesn’t remember anything whenever I ask him

Bertram: Mr Siedelman’s posessed by Cybersix????? —————————————————- But then the thought occurred to Bertram. Angels were holy beings, and weren’t supposed to be affected by artifacts holy and arcane, right?

“- anyways, its not like we’ll ever see the lady in the daytime, she’s like, what’s the word Mr. Amato used? Non-burnable? No wait, nocturnal that was it, she never comes out into the sunlight! So really your guys’s approach to him in the daytime is stupid and you need to stop it an’ leave the guy alone.” Lori was getting visibly irritated by this turn of events, waving their merry group of troublemakers off like they were gnats or something. <- Lori is realising maybe she should lay off the chaos for Cybersix’s sake, maybe Lori is taking the joke too far and these students are coming increasingly closer to the truth (which is Lori’s flawed truth that Cybersix is the dead sister of Adrien that he raised and tied to his body somehow)

“Hold up. Guys I had a thought,” Bertram started before being rudely interrupted by most of the gang noting how they were surprised he had any thoughts to begin with.

“Okay but SERIOUSLY since Mr. Siedelman’s face burnt off because of the holy water, what if he’s actually just possessed by a demon?”

“Bertram,” Marky said, slowly and with reservations, “Thats the most sense you’ve made all day and considering you started with ‘Mr. Siedelman’s actually a robot’, that does not fill me with confidence.”

Samantha’s veins visibly popped out from her forehead. “Absolutely not! Demons are not real! Mr. Siedelman is a normal human being with like, fifty different allergies! Probably! Right, Lori?”

The visible hesitation on Lori’s face was not helping the situation.

Ronald, who had been quiet this whole time, muttered “yeah that’s not a suspicious reaction at all considering you’re the only one who’s experienced in super weird situations,” topping it off with the look of a dog who’s caught the scent of a really tasty bone buried in their backyard.

Lori hmphed. “Okay look. Just because I got kidnapped by a stupid six-year-old and got saved by Ms. Siedelman and Mr. Amato the one time does not make me an expert in possessions and magic thingys.” <- Lori is in for a penny in for a pound now

The gang realises Mr Amato may know something, Lori sort-of regrets bringing him into it but knows he has a thing for Cybersix as well as Mr Siedelman in a weird power-throuple way and is dying to create more drama by having Cybersix pose as straight up a demon posessing Adrien and not the ghost of his sister that Lori seems to think Cybersix is —————————————————————————- More shenanigans ensue, where the kids try to get Lucas into their conspiracies. At first, he’s pretty reluctant.

Later, after Lucas is trying his best to care for Adrien his friend but is rebuked, and same for Cybersix, he’s desperate and yknow. These are kids. What harm could it do?

It’s not as if Cybersix is actually haunting Adrien, right? ——————————————————————————- Insert shenanigans including:

- The kids throw Adrien a crucifix. Adrien, who was not paying attention due to lack of sustenance and fully grabbed onto a Very Spiky Object, yelps and drops it immediately. 1 Point for demonic possession

- Lucas asks Cybersix to meet him in a graveyard, and they have a thrilling discussion on what it means to be human. Cybersix is semi-comforted by Lucas’ earnestness in defining Cybersix as human despite her misgivings due to her dependence on sustenance, Lucas thinks she’s guilty because she’s not fully alive and won’t be able to live fully because she lacks aliveness, resulting in her having to drink the souls of humans (Fixed Ideas) to survive. 1 point for being dead.

- Lucas also questions Adrien about some of the feats he’s seen Adrien do including: Lifting really heavy objects no problem, having faster than average instincts and dodging a football without looking. Cybersix, who’s like ‘It worked with Lori surely it’ll work with Lucas’ goes “What on Earth are you talking about Lucas?”

Lori also does this as well except she’s straight up being ‘Hey Mr Siedelman thanks for walking me home last night’ and Adrien, who is fully committing to the bit, goes ‘Lori I have no Idea what you’re talking about’ and Lori goes ‘Aw sorry my bad I was thinking of my leather-clad friend who’s super weird but also kind of cool actually’

1 point for possession-induced memory loss. 1 point of grateful embarrassment to Cybersix, who’s really glad Lori appreciated the walk home but also this is Not the time.

Lori at this point is like ‘Look, Guys. I know exactly. what is up with Mr Siedelman and Cybersix. But watching yall struggle is really entertaining for me.’

Lucas and the gang ‘PLEASE JUST A SCRAP OF INFORMATION WOULD BE SO USEFUL.’

Lori ‘nah.’ ———————————————————— At this point, Cyberix would realise something is up and go confront Lori, who seems to be the center of this whole thing.

Cybersix: Hey can you stop alluding to my civilian identity its really dangerous and I want to keep everyone safe.

Lori: Don’t worry, if they haven’t figured out anything yet theyre too stupid to figure it out ever

Cybersix: What??????

Lori: I’m just keeping them on their toes really by feeding them very minimal and wrong information

Cybersix: Lori this is Serious

Lori: Ok but have you considered: it would Really help sell your secret if they thought you were straight up a demon possessing Mr Siedelman

Cybersix: No???? It would not???? Is that what they think I am????? How did they come to that conclusion??????????

Lori: I mean I know you’re not, but I def think it would give them some sense of comfort if they thought they knew you, and it would probably stop them from digging too deep down if you were some flavor of supernatural.

Cybersix: Lori I need you to understand that this is getting super convoluted and out of hand Please Stop

Lori: Ugh fiiiiiiiiiiine *Is planning to tell the gang that Cybersix is onto them so they gotta step up their game already* *Is having the time of her life playing on all sides of the game*

In the end, Lori continues being Lori meanwhile Cybersix is Convinced Lori has found out that she and Adrien Siedelman are the same person and is understandably nervous about Lori’s so-called ‘misdirections’ —————————————————— Obligatory demonic summoning scene Lucas is being used by Jose as a hostage to draw out Cybersix. Jose’s latest plan is to pose as a cultist and, by using Lucas as an unwilling sacrifice, Cybersix will fall right into his hands! She’ll never guess it was Jose all along! Unfortunately, Cybersix has the power of one (1) big cat and one (1) street urchin to help pull the strings. The street urchin was not part of the plan originally, but he’s definitely here now.

*Cybersix throws down a smoke bomb over Lucas and makes it appear like she did, in fact, get summoned*

*Jose’s trap fails to catch her, but from Lucas’ perspective she straight up phased through some attacks and is using Telekinesis to stop projectiles*

*Julian and Data 7 are in the background helping out and making it look like objects are floating and stuff. Julian is really pulling out all his street magic tricks here and Data 7 is doing a lot of object heavy lifting*

Lucas: Ok. Yknow what actually. Maybe. Cybersix is some sort of demon. At least she’s nice? Actually, I’m still gonna date her. Him. Them. Do I need permission from Adrien to date her? do I need her permission to date Adrien? ———————————————————- Meanwhile, The Gang have gone looking into who exactly Mr Siedelman is and it turns out he’s been dead all along????

Lori is especially surprised by this, but then rearranges it from Cybersix possessing Adrien, its actually Adrien possessing Cybersix and he is dead and doesn’t know and Cybersix actually is Adriens wife but she’s keeping him around because of love. and stuff. Mr Amato is gonna be heartbroken that the guy he has a crush on is actually dead. Holy shit she’s hit the motherload of drama. ————————————————————- Cue scene were literally everyone is tearing their hair out at whats going on with Adrien. They’ve gotten together and by combining all the evidence they have recieved, they have gotten absolutely nowhere.

#cybersix #adrien siedelman #lucas amato #lori cybersix #'haunted' au #fic idea #long post

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