#many things are gonna change in my life and dunno when I'll get to ya know

[ca-8]

Yakko x Reader Scenario: When You First Meet

'This is it. The beginning of the end.' 

Gripping on the straps of her backpack, (Y/n) exited the bus and stared up at the water tower that displayed the famous Warner Bros. logo. As expected, it emitted a smug aura onto the entire area; however, surprisingly, there was a slight twinge of mystery to it as well. But she didn't have time to ponder about it, so she only gave it an uneasy look and headed straight for the entrance.

Her heart stopped. She knew the place was going to be busy, but it was like an entire New York City packed in one section! So many writers, producers, actors, large men carrying heavy sets, every type of person working in film was scattered all over the place. It was like an ocean, with the people as marine life doing what they're designed to do, and (Y/n) being the puppy that was abandoned at sea.

The moment it all settled in, an involuntary realization invaded her thoughts. 'I don't belong here.'

The young girl reminded herself to breathe and rushed over to a vacant wall, then pulled out her phone. She had already sent her mother about a thousand messages telling her she was here, but since she hasn't responded, a few more shouldn't hurt. Fingers rapidly typing away, she bit her lower lip, already wishing she had stayed on that bus. 

"Oh, you're just gonna love it!" Her mother's squealing voice had already filled her skull. "You're so talented, I know you're gonna fit right in."

'Yeah, standing around all day with a bunch of people I don't know while doing something I suck at is exactly how I wanna spend my summer.' She let out a soft sigh. 'It's fine. Just shut up and make her happy, (Y/n).'

Several attempts of calling and texting later, no response. (Y/n) sighed again, and her eyes wandered over to the bustling crowd. 'No way. Absolutely no way.' But if she wanted to get the day over with, absolutely yes way.

First, she walked up to a lady looking down at the clipboard in her hands. "Um, excuse me," (Y/n) said. 

The lady's head snatched up. "KYLE!" she yelled, her eyes now ablaze with fury, "YOU IDIOT! THAT GOES IN THE WAREHOUSE ACROSS THE STUDIO!" And like there was nothing but a breeze behind her, the lady stomped off to the poor soul that had to face her wrath.

The breeze took a step back and ran around the corner. 'Maybe I'll find someone else instead…!' (Y/n) stopped and spotted a man sitting on the steps that lead to the entrance of a small building. She swallowed whatever was left in her mouth and reluctantly approached him. 

"E-Excuse me, sir?" she stuttered, hoping her voice was louder than the last time. As she got closer, (Y/n) noticed he was chuckling, and his gaze was glued onto a small piece of paper. 

"I...I did it…!" he said. She yelped and shrinked back when he suddenly jumped to his feet. "I FINALLY DID IT! WE'LL SEE WHO'S REGRETTING THE DIVORCE NOW, MARGARET!" And with a manic laugh, the man dashed into the building. 

'...Or maybe I'll just find it myself.'

It wasn't too long before (Y/n) got herself lost. Despite the help of maps that were stuck to some of the buildings, all of them seemed exactly the same. It was like a maze, and with each passing minute, she was more and more convinced that there was no finish line. Even worse, her mother was too busy to respond to anything she sent her. 

'Oh, what should I do?' (Y/n) thought for the thousandth time. No matter how hard she pinched or held them, her arms refused to stop trembling. Not too long ago, the outside of the studio became deserted and she'd hate to walk in a warehouse and possibly interrupt something important, so asking for help again was out of the question.

...Or, perhaps it wasn't. 

A tiny, hopeful smile crossed (Y/n)'s face when she heard the sounds of frustrated grunts around the corner. It was the first time she was so relieved to see a stranger. 

And thank god that stranger was a security guard. Though she wondered why he had a giant net in his hand, she shoved the curiosity as far in the back of her mind as she could and reached up to gently tap his shoulder. 

"Um, excuse me sir?" she asked as loud as she could. 

His head whipped around, revealing angry eyes and a scowl that said he was ready to kill. But right as his gaze landed on her, it changed within an instant. 

"Oh, hello!" he said with a bright smile. 

(Y/n) blinked, cocking her head. ‘What was this guy up to?’

"I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know where (M/n) (L/n) is filming? I'm her daughter, (Y/n), and I'm trying to look for her. She's not answering her phone either."

His joyful expression slowly melted into a confused one. "Uuhhh…(M/n) (L/n)?”

“Yes. She’s a part of Animal Kingdom? Do you know where that’s being filmed?”

“Oh! I know there’s a zoo around here called Animal Kingdom! I don’t think you’ll find it in a film studio, though.”

(Y/n) frowned. “...No, I mean the show. Aren’t they filming in a warehouse today? Do you know where that is?”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

Her eye twitched, and she was just about ready to drown the entire studio in the nearest ocean. “N-Nevermind, I’ll just-”

As if the universe wasn’t satisfied with tormenting her enough, the security guard suddenly launched up into the air and flew into the sky. Right before her eyes, the heavens were coated with explosives of every color that ever existed. 

“Oh my god!” (Y/n) yelled. ‘Who strapped fireworks on that guy?!’

“Oh, I knew you’d love it!”

Her eyes were ripped from the loud fireworks show as she was immediately smothered in a hug. “It’s so nice that another girl’s here! All the other ones here are either too busy or just keep shouting about a restraining order for some reason. I dunno, but anyway, I just know you're gonna love it here! Anyway, my name’s Princess Angelina Louisa Cantessa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the third! But since we're friends now, you can just call me Dot.”

This confirmed it. This was a trap set up by her mother to deliberately drive her insane, because how else can someone explain the nut jobs and talking dogs in pink dresses? 

A combination of those two things happened to be clutching her head and digging her face into hers. “...Huh?” (Y/n) mumbled.

‘Dot’ jumped off of her and smiled widely. “Sorry about Ralph by the way. I figured out you were coming at the last second and I really needed someone for your welcoming gift.” she said.

(Y/n) glanced up at the sky where the fireworks were slowly dying down. “Um...Is he gonna be okay?” she asked.  

“Of course he will!” her backpack said.

The teen screamed and threw her bag on the ground. A hand popped out and unzipped it with impossible ease, then a taller boy version of Dot jumped out, pulling up his long brown pants and flashing a grin. 

“H-...H-H-How did you…?!” (Y/n) stuttered, pointing at him. 

“What? Never heard of cartoon logic?” he said, approaching her. “And Ralph’ll be fine. His skull’s so thick, concrete’s the last thing that can kill him.”

“What-?”

“Anyhow,” he walked over to Dot and put an arm over her shoulder, “The name’s Yakko, this here’s my beloved baby sister Dot, and this is-” He stopped, staring at the empty space to his left. He leaned into Dot, whispering, “Say, uh, you don't mind looking for Wakko, do ya sis?”

Dot glanced at (Y/n) for an uncomfortable moment and suddenly shot her brother a glare. "I've got eyes all over this studio, Yakko," she warned, slowly stepping away.

Now (Y/n) certainly knew she didn't see pairs of eyes appear around every inch of her sight. 'Oh god, I didn't breath in drugs on the way here, did I? Actually, that would explain whatever the heck's going on.'

Yakko smiled as he watched his sister leave and turned to (Y/n). He walked closer to her, and she realized that his half-lidded eyes had a strange glint in them. “Sooo, your name’s (Y/n), right? A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

(Y/n)’s face heated up. ‘First I get lost, then see a guy get blown up, and now some other guy’s flirting with me? ...To be honest, this is still better than what Mom had planned for today.’

“So what brings ya’ here?” he asked.

“O-Oh, well, my Mom was supposed to give me a tour of the studio, but I’ve been giving that to myself all day. I tried finding her, but I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near it by now.” Her eyes wandered over to the ground, but a realization made them perk back up and over to Yakko. “Hey, do you happen to know this place by any chance?”

“Know it? Please, my sibs and I live here, we know this place by heart and soul!” He mumbled something else, along the lines of “Basically made our hearts and souls”. 

Her heart jumped; finally, a piece of good news. “Really?” she said, a smile spreading across her face.

He nodded. “So where do ya’ need to go?” Before she could answer, he pulled out a piece of folded paper and moved in so close, their shoulders were smooshed together. Yakko unfolded it, and it turned out to be the biggest map (Y/n) has ever seen. “Well, from here, you’re gonna need to take a right and continue straight until you get to the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts exhibit. But be careful, I heard some of them escaped, and if anyone asks if you’ve seen any of them, don’t tell them I gave one to Dot as a late birthday gift. Anyway, you take a left from there, then a right where you’ll see the lot where they used to shoot Game of Thrones. Now this is only a rumour I’ve heard, but I think some of the producers are still on that set. If you happen to see them, do not, I repeat, DO NOT mention season eight, or maybe just don’t mention the show at all. Actually, don’t even look at them. As a matter of fact, you probably shouldn’t even go there at all, just keep heading straight until you get to the D.C. Universe lot. Then you just take left there, then a sharp right over over, then you keep going straight until you get to here, turn up over there, turn right there, and then you’re there. Did ya’ follow all that?”

(Y/n) stared at his face, which was practically radiating with enthusiasm, and she felt her eye twitch again. “...No,” she said, shaking her head.

His smile dimmed, but it became just as bright as the sun again a split-second later. “Ah well, maps are gettin' old anyways,” he said, throwing the map over his shoulder. “WAKKO!!”

And, low and behold, another anthropomorphic dog popped out of nowhere, and (Y/n) was starting to question if there was an army of them hidden somewhere. But she had to admit, it was pretty cute how this one was dressed in an oversized blue sweater and red hat. 

“Tablet, please,” Yakko said politely, holding out his hand. 

‘You're not gonna walk me there-?'

Wakko suddenly held his head back with his cheeks puffed out, then leaned into Yakko’s hand as he forced out a small object from his mouth. After an incredibly uneasy moment, a tablet glazed in spit was in Yakko's grasp. While he praised the little guy, (Y/n) forced back the urge to vomit.

“E-Ehhhh…?” She couldn’t say anything else while her gaze frantically went back and forth from Wakko and the regurgitated tablet. 

“Oh! Where are my manners?” Yakko said. “(Y/n), this is my dear little brother, Wakko. Wakko, this here’s our new special friend, (Y/n).” 

“Hello!” Wakko greeted, who was suddenly in her arms. “You’re really pretty!”

“Ehh? Thank you? I guess??” she said apprehensively, and finally managed to make eye contact. Despite his...quirks, he's actually a little adorable... She let herself grin a little.

The moment of semi-peace was ruined when she took notice of Yakko’s narrowed eyes. “ALrighty, (Y/n)!” he said loudly, grabbing his little brother by the collar and gently setting him on the ground. “Animal Kingdom, right? Let’s get ya’ right over there.” He moved right beside her and taped the screen a couple times. 

“Um, what’re you doing exactly?” she asked.

“Doing what every person does to get somewhere nowadays.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her against him, and (Y/n) flinched from his touch. “Please keep your arms, legs, and personal items inside the tablet at all times.”

Just when she was about to question him for the hundredth time, he pressed the screen again, and her vision became nothing but white. Her body felt like it was launched into a tornado; a strong force of wind thrusted her back, and somehow, the boy’s arm kept her from flying off from his side. A second later, her feet were back on the ground, the sky was where it needed to be, and reality was back in place. 

Except for (Y/n)’s mentality. 

She stumbled around, trying to find her balance as the world unbearably whirled around her. Finally, she shook her head, and quickly turned back towards Yakko, whose face tried to tell her whatever happened was perfectly fine and normal. 

“What was THAT?” she yelled, staggering towards him and gripping his shoulders.

And he still had the audacity to have that 'why-are-you-freaking-out-so-much-we-do-this-every-Friday' smile. “Thank you for attending Warner’s Travel Tours! I would say my Agent Ralph’ll take your bags, but I left him alone with my sibs, so he’s probably in the middle of the Pacific Ocean by now.”

(Y/n) could only stare at him. Her mind was twisting and turning, trying so hard to make any sense of what happened but only making her headache grow larger and larger. And then, her thoughts just went blank.

She smirked. Then giggled. And a few seconds later, she had burst out laughing whilst holding her stomach. (Y/n) looked back up at Yakko, wiping a tear from her eye. “Th-Thank you…” she said, catching her breath. 

His smile had grown and she thought his white cheeks were red for a moment. Yakko had opened his mouth, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by a net suddenly covering his entire body. Ralph was behind him, his skin and clothes burnt and ears practically smoking. “You’re coming with me, Warner!” he said.

And yet, Yakko only grinned. Like physics was his enemy, he disappeared from inside the net and appeared sprouting from the security guard’s back, cheerfully waving at (Y/n). “I’ll see ya’ around, yeah?” he said, then ran around the corner with Ralph sprinting right after him.

(Y/n) giggled and reached for the straps around her back. But when she only felt the (f/c) fabric of her shirt, her smile dropped, and a deep sigh escaped her lips. “Great…” she whispered.

“(Y/N)!” 

She gasped as a pair of arms squeezed the life out of her. Her mother spun her around to face her gleaming smile, which was immediately replaced by an apologetic frown. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get your texts! That scene took forever, but I’m glad you found your way here! You’re so smart! Anyway, I know we don’t get as much time now, but there’s still so much we’ll be able to see!...”

She rambled on and on and on and on. Her daughter’s shoulders slumped and she followed her to where she wanted her to go, but the frown on her face didn’t last long when she remembered the fun she had just a few seconds ago. ‘Maybe this summer won’t be that bad.’

#is this how you write him lmao #i love this boi so much #animaniacs #cartoons #x reader #fanfiction #the reader in this is like 15 dont worry lol #im bored #yakko warner

[kuroheishi]

aRGH I am so sorry guys this is so hella late, moving to another country is a huge thing and I found time only now to write this thing down, but finally I can throw all of my fierce love on ya 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE +600 FOLLOWERS!!!!!

That’s a huge milestone for me and I am so flattered so many people follow this blog?? However! Before starting to name one by one all the wonderful people I gotta thank in here, I gotta announce that this is going to be a kinda uh... Hiatus post too? From next week everything is going to get even busier when @littlxlamb is gonna come and get me to kindap me, so... I don’t know when I will get again some more free time to be on here. IT MAKES ME SAD TO SAY BYE ON HERE BUT LIFE AAAAAHHHHHH 

WELL ANYWAYS! I’LL COME BACK FOR SURE!! Even if super rarely I’ll always come back online in here because this is like a small second home for me heh.

I am so grateful for these two years in this fandom, Yuu has completely changed my life; I found the Mika in my life heh and I got to learn so much from my muse and I wanna give as much love as he does to the world no matter of how cruel it can be. I learnt and I keep learning so freaking much from the people I have met in here and I just- I don’t know, I love everything of Owari no Seraph, Yuu and all the friendos I found here.

Thank you so much everyone!! 

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!! THANK YOU!!

Thank you to those who have stayed here since the very beggining, all the old and new friendos, it’s like having this huge family and even if sometimes we might even fight like it happens in all families it’s cool to always see you all around, fighting sometimes also helps to make bonds stronger right? 

I am so grateful to everyone who RPed with me or who even sent me just one ask, I appreciate this so very much!! Thank you for the patience, for when I get super heated about Yuu shbjsdhjksdhksd I just can’t help it rubs rubs head! SO THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH THAT!! 

And at last, thank you again to every single follower! YES YOU WHO ARE READING THIS LONG SENTIMENTAL POST POINTS AT! Thank you for the support by following this blog, it means a lot to me ya know? It’s like telling me I am not doing so bad with my Yuu portrayal, that you like what I post/reblog and well- this blog will always be hella important to me, it has a special place in my heart so I’ll never stop to thank all of you!!

It’s a shame we all live in so many different places because I’d treat y’all to some curry or ice cream as a thank you but damn I hope my gratitude can reach you by this long ass post hahaha

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!! THROWS MOUNTAINS OF GOOD VIBES AT!!

If anyone has an Instagram account and idk if you’re interested in crap cosplay or you want to keep better in touch with me during my hiatus period, you can follow me on here:

@kisshiichu

I post pretty much often there! And it will be easier for me to reply to stuff and all!

Gonna put all the rest on read more because it’s going to be hella l ong, good luck everyone to find your tag down there thumbs up!

Credits for the amazing follow forever banner go to @littlxlamb as usual because damn you’re so talented and thank you for always doing this cool stuff for me ahhhhh you’re too kind to me Nia buries you in a huge a hug!! I don’t know how you knew I wanted all the family in the picture but ahhh thank you!!

P.s. as usual I am so freaking sorry if I forget anyone but my head lately is even more messy with the moving matter, so please forgive me sdhsdghsd

Family

@littlxlamb: HELLO MIKANIA!! It’s two years we know each other and it doesn’t sound real right? But at the same time it’s like woah, only two freaking years?? Since the beginning it has always been weird how well clicked, how we could talk 5ever and be so in sync if that makes sense? AND NOW WE’RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER I AM SO EXCITED I COULD CLIMB A TREE OR SOMETHING EUDBJSDSD I know it’s gonna be hella hard at the beginning, but I also know that there is no other place I could be if not next you ya know? So I’m gonna roll up my sleeves and work hard for both us! But hey, I’ll tell u this face to face, but thank you for always being by my side since the beginning. Thank you for always supporting me, for giving me a family, for giving me a purpose, thank you for making me laugh and for scolding me when I need it heh I know I’m an idiot sometimes, right? Thank you for being born and for being in my life, I am so glad our blogs brought us this close, that’s why I’ll always be grateful to Yuu, Mika and ons for allowing us to meet. I promise that from next week I’ll fight side by side with you, you are so talented in the things you do that I am sure step by steop you will reach your goals and I will be always there to cheer for you!! I’ll work hard to be your pillar and to make you smile at least once a day AND I AM NOT GONNA FAIL FIST UP!

@brassboundvalkyrie: mama Kiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! I know lately I haven’t been very active on our fam group chat, but hey never forget I love you okay?? You’re hella awesome and cool, I will never stop reminding you that, I gotta learn from you tbh. But I mean, not only for you writing and cosplay skills, just one day wanna be a mature adult like you, you’re like my adult inspiration if that makes sense A REAL MAMA! I am so happy that you’re finally having a good time with your new work tho!! It’s actually kinda cute how you sound excited about it, so I’m really glad to see you like that heh. And well you know that even if I am not super active on this blog, that I’ll always keep in touch with you through Skype!! SO YOU WON’T MISS ME TOO MUCH HAH 

@rutilisanguinis: BARA PAPA VAMPIRE!! I actually don’t know why Lau but with you it comes more natural to act like this bratty rebellious kid since we have started talking two years ago woah. LAU DAMN THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME BACK THEN!! I am so glad we met, you even formed our Skype fam basically and I just wish you all the good things with your health, work and life in general because you deserve it! I hope one day we will meet again for sure, we must!! AH!! Almost forgot to thank you again for the adorable gift, like sdghsdghjsd it made me so flattered that you thought about me?? It was so kind of you ahhhhhhhhhh

@fortisgladio: Lizzie ah damn what can I say about you? I am glad Yuu allowed me to meet someone like you, someone as passionate (IF NOT MORE) than me about ons and especially our precious sunshine boy! No matter if we have similar thoughts about him or not, just thank you so much for how much love you put in everything you write and do!! You’re a wonderful huge bright sun, it’s always uh... I forgot English for a sec hang on lemme check the dictionary- comforting?? Yes that too, and it brightens my day whenever I get to exchange few words with you; seeing you on my dash is always wonderful too, I love your writing so freaking much shakes the pc! You are an ispiration for me, thank you for being my friend and for always being this kind, I really appreciate that so damn much. I just wish for everything in your life to go super well, for you to always find the strength to fight it IF YOU NEED TO PUNCH STRUGGLES I’LL BE BY YOUR SIDE BRUH!! I am just sending you all the love and good vibes because you must get all of the happiness and love!!!!!

@undyingxloyalty: slides huge ice cream in here- KAT LEMME SCREAM TO THE OCEAN ABOUT HOW OF AN AMAZING FRIEND YOU ARE!!! Do you understand how grateful I am that you’re in my fam zone?? Because ahhhhh lately we finally got talk more and I’m so glad we did!! You have always been so freaking supportive with me and I have always wondered, the heck do I deserve such wonderful friends around me?? That’s why I wanna give you back everything you do for me!! All the kinds words always ready to hit me hard, this helpful aura you have around yourself and how I feel chill because I know somehow you’ve always kept an eye on me somehow?? All of that has always given much happiness kay, so I hope I can give you as much of that to you, because I wanna see you happy!! You deserve it sooooooo much! And don’t think I forgot about your stunning writing, I am so flattered I got to write with such a skilled writer as you are, you’re Mika is freaking well portayed that damn I just scream. Thank you for being an ispiration too, remember to stay always cool and safe!! 

@sassyshinoahiiragi: Chelsea damn you’re always such a sweet friend with me! Time zone sucks because it doesn’t help us to catch each other online, but I don’t care just thank you for always being this supportive EVEN TOO MUCH SOMETIMES AJHKSDHKJSDHKJSD still grateful for that tho, I hope I can be as supportive for you?? Like I really wish everything will go well for you, because all the happiness must hit you hard! I miss writing with you, but remember that Yuu and I will always wait for Shinoa and you to come back!! I have always been hella flattered you contacted me and all, that you like my Yuu so thank you so much /////  Even tho I will be on hiatus here, I hope I can get to jump on ya even from England!! SO SEE YOU SOON HEH

@fallenangelmikaela: FLIES FOR A TACKLE HUG!!!!! Okay Alice as you said... We’ve been mutuals for how long? Two years?? Since I have started my blog and heck, for time zone and all we didn’t even get to talk that much til these last months, but I’m so happy we finally got closer kay? Because you’re such a cool friendo and I have so much fun talking to you, RPing with your Mika too!! I even told you that for my Yuu your Mika is like hella important to him!! Thank you for being patient with my noisiness, I have you on Skype and Instagram so I am sure we’ll keep in touch somehow even during my hiatus AND I AM GLAD KAY. Stay always safe and I wish you too much much much happiness, I am still crossing my finger for you and your thing hah, so I am sure one day something super woah and good is gonna happen to you!!

@chiheisxn: dude. buries u under affection. Even tho you always hit me with angst AND YOU KNOW YOU DO, thank you for even doing that. I really appreciate every single ask you send me, you have so much creativity and talent in writing, you’re so funny and yet you can be so heart breaking with your threads that damn. I adore that. I am still so sorry for all the shit that has happened back then, I hate seeing friends struggling and being attacked, so never forget to come to me if someone ever dares to even say a bad words on you kay? Because I am gonna get them so hard, no one should receive hate, especially my FRIENDS and for dumb stuff like jeez. I will miss seeing you around when I’ll be away BUT I WILL BE SURE TO BE BACK TO JUMP ON YOU AND YUU ON YOUR AKANE!!

@thatonecoolnara & @inuzukachii: where you guys at?????? I actually saw Madara mum around lately on here but I didn’t wanna bother, I just keep an eye on you two thanks to socials heh, but I hope you’re both doing great! Just wanted to remind you guys that even if we might be not in touch that I always check on you guys and that I still care for you two a lot kay? Always gonna keep a thought for you two and wishing hard for the best in your life!

@littlepsychedelicdream: Madi-chan damn I am sorry lately we didn’t talk like at all? But probably you’re busy too and I just hope you’re doing well!! We’ve know each other for some years already and hey, never forget that no matter if we talk or not, if life is busy and stuff, you’ll always be this very cool friendo, reliable, sweet, kind and hella fun to talk to! You have a great talent, both in writing and art so I am crossing my fingers so hard for you, I am sure you’ll reach your goals, I believe in you!!

The Squad

@asura-the-black: ahhhhhh bruh!! I hope you’re doing well, but hey just wanted to keep reminding you that I am still glad for all the times we got to RP!! Because your writing is just so stunning, so strong with feels to hit me hard in the heart! Thank you for that and for even discussing with me about headcanons!! My Yuu will always keep your Asuramaru in his heart kay? I hope you’re having fun and that you’re safe!! ONE DAY WE’LL WRITE MORE AGAIN!! I love your blog too much sdjsdksdkds

@poenitet: woah dad, I am gonna tag you with Guren’s blog because that’s how we met heh. I’m sorry lately I’ve been hella busy and we also kinda distanced ourselves but yeah, you’re really kinda Guren style and I keep my distance too if I know I might anger someone ya know, I am just really empathic I guess and since I like talking with you very much I get kinda sad if I feel like I might anger you. You’re such a talented writer and artist honestly that I hope you’ll find your happy path someday! I am glad we got to talk so much about Owari no Seraph and especially about Guren, I have always missed in here someone to write Guren and Yuu’s bond with me, because it just gives me huge feels and idk you’re perfect in that? Your Guren is just the dad for my Yuu that I really cannot describe in proper words how my son feels damn. Just huge fierce love for your Guren, that’s it. Thank you anyways for allowing me to write with you and for showing me your cool drawings, I had much fun!! YOU NERD. 

@elyon-kurae: hey Lily!!! First lemme tell you that I must confess your OC is literally like the first one who caught me properly, I mean, damn I admire people for writing original characters but you also gotta have talent to pull out something cool and girl you have it! That is why, since you are always so super supportive with me, I wish I can give you as much support! Because you write Elyon so freaking well, her personality and all, you are an artist too so I can always wish you to improve in everything you love! Fight your struggles, I know you can do it but never forget to rely on friends when you feel down because people care for you and they’re only glad to help you kay? Call me if you gotta punch trouble, I’ll hurry to kick butts with you!!

@ofsnipcr: FLA DAMN I ACTUALLY GOTTA CONTACT YOU TO ASK YOU IF YOU’RE COMING TO THE CON WOAH. But hey, I still remember the first time you commented under a post of mine, back then the dash was full of new people for me and you offered a hand to me, to get comfy in this new fandom so never gonna thank you for that! You are one of the sweetest friends I know really, you’re so talented and I love your Shinya so much! Your writing is amazing too like how can you do it sdhjsdhsd but yes imma contact you, because it would be so wonderful to meet you finally!! And have fun together heh. Thank you for everything and a huge good luck with everything you gotta do!! Throws tones of good luck and love vibes at!!

@monophagia: Vero, darkness my old friend. Why do I even try to make jokes when I can’t sdgjsdhjsdsd ANYWAYS. Dude, you’re talented kay? So leave the the bad stuff behind your back and just lemme shower you in compliments because beside your amazing writing skills, I mean you’re an ispiration for me when I read your threads, you’re also such a cool artist?? So thank you for even wanting to write with me, I am so flattered sdhjgksdghkjds  SO STAY ALWAYS COOL, I know that Yuu and Saito don’t have much of a uh... Chance to have much interaction I guess? BUT THAT’S WHY AUs EXIST I LOVE YOUR SAITO KAY 

@lordgeales: jii-chan’s kissy friend points at! NO OKAY BESIDE JOKES!! I am sorry we didn’t get to talk much but?? I am very noisy I know shjdshjsdbnsd but I might be shy too kay. Tho you better know that I love your portrayal, your writing YOUR BLOG, thank you for loving so much a character who hasn’t appeared much on the manga yet and for giving it life!! Also you are so sweet, you even thought about me for that crack thing you once sent me on IM and that made me so flattered and happy woah. I hope in the future we will get to RP more too!! 

@lestkarrkingofeurope: ahhhhhhh bruh!! I just wanted to tell you that your blog is FREAKING AWESOME!! Thank you for giving the fandom the blessing of your small King, I am so sorry I didn’t get to make Yuu jump on your muse sdjskjsda but I hope in the future I’ll get to write something with you because I’d be so flattered to! EVEN CRACK STUFF I just love your portrayal, your writing is just too stunning. Keep on with the great work and right! Thank you for working hard with your friends on the ons chapters, translating and editing them for the fandom!! 

@lendmeyourpower: heyyy there!! Just wanted to tell you that I love writing with your Guren!! And to always remind you that your Yuu was my first very inspiration in here when I just started with my blog! Thank you for wanting to write with my Yuu, it made me so very glad and remember I’m always wishing and cheering for your good health! I hope you can get better soon and fight your troubles!!

@ai-kizu-rp: MELY-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thank you for being patient with me and for still keeping in touch with me, I keep seeing your drawings and I am cheering for you to reach higher goals with your talent!! I’ll never forget our funny times on my other RP blog, it’s a shame life doesn’t give as much time anymore to play on all of my blogs and that I focused on Yuu because he’s my spirit animal but sdghjsahgksa I will keep cheering for you from here!!!

@snipec: I have written so much I don’t know anymore what I am doing BUT JUST LEMME SAY THAT YOUR SHINYA IS AMAZING AND I HAVE MUCH FUN WRITING WITH YOU even tho I am always slow as heck BUT HE’S LIKE DAD #2 BECAUSE OF GUREN and you’re also very sweet and I hope we’ll get to interact more in the future aghjshkjsdk YUU WILL EAT TOATS WITH SHINYA ONE DAY

@selfxloathingxvamp: ahhhh hello there!! I am sorry we stopped talking because I disappeared but sdhjgsdhjsgd LIFE KEPT ME BUSY and at some point discord started to lag too so I got annoyed, me vs technlogy is a costant struggle. But hey! I wanted to thank you for being so damn kind to me, it’s always something I appreciate so much EVEN IF U CHALLENGED ME MANY TIMES IMMA ALWAYS FITE U BRUH. And you’re a super fun person to talk to, cool to RP with too! Your writing is on spot with Mika and I still hope that when I will be back I will get to talk more again with you!! Just good luck with yout stuff kay? Always gonna cross my fingers for cool friendos, that’s why I hope you get to meet with @yuichiroisms one day!! It’s cool to have someone you care so much by your side heh, so imma take this chance to tell Eri too that I wish you guys all the best, hope your paths will meet for real real one day!! Just work hard on it and if you need some help on lifting struggle don’t mind calling me, imma directly punch down the wall thumbs up!!!

@crusaderce: u know that Yuu has not accepted yet Crowley as the cuddle buddy for mama Horn right? Yuu staring intensly in the distance. Tho wait besides jokes friendo, with all of your blogs I have seen in this fandom, you write your muses so well! I love seeing how your Crowley is basically a kindergarten done teacher who gotta keep an eye on the brats bugging him sdghsdhjgsdhjksd I HOPE WHEN I’LL BE BACK WE’LL GET TO WRITE MORE TOGHER!! Stay always awesome and safe!!

@ofichinose: ahhhhhhhh friendo your Guren is just so freaking amazing, HONESTLY LIKE ALL THE MUSES YOU WRITE AS!! I am so grateful there is someone like you always fighting for Guren and who  writes such interesting analysis about him, I am glad there is someone like you to defend the dad heh. Also!!! I am so glad I got to write something with your Aoi, because at least for me it sounds so interesting and a huge battle of who’s more determined and stubborn on their ideals! So I am looking forward to seeing how it’s going to develop!! Keep on with the great work!!

@krullish: !!!!!!! Even tho we kinda have never had the chance to interact here so much because of life keeping us busy, time zone and much other crap, always gonna remind you how cool and talented you are!! You were the first blog in here I followed of the fandom and I’m glad I found you!! Thank you for always being kind because that’s a huge thing for me and I’m glad somehow I can keep an eye on you from Instagram because I admire your cosplay skills so much!! Who knows, maybe one day we’ll get to cosplay together with Nia?? It would be hella cool! Good luck with everything you gotta do and keep on with the great work!!

@retentionsx: KASPAR!! I wanted to apologise that we didn’t have much of a chance to interact in the end, but unfortunately when you came around I also got kinda busy, but hey! You’re an amazing person kay? For the few things I got to see of you, you are such a great presence in my dash and I am so glad we met! You’re hella talented, never forget about it! Your Yato, your writing is amazing and thank you so freaking much for brightening my days when you’d be around!! Just thank you so much, I wish you all the happiness because you deserve it!! Throws tones of happy vibes at!!

@all-i-want-is-yuu: friendo!! Just imma throw on you all the good vibes too because I feel like you sometimes don’t believe in your skills when?? Hey you’re a cool person, kind and sweet and that’s already something big! Thank you for being a supportive friend and remember you write super well too!! You’ll have to wait for my reply but looking forward to seeing how it’s gonna develop our thread of Yuu accidentally stealing Mika’s boots snorts

  LAST HUGE SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE, EVEN THOSE I MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS JUST KINDA EXPLODING BUT I REALLY LOVE Y’ALL AND YOU’RE ALL AMAZING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS PLACE A GREAT PLACE AND FOR MAKING MY EXPERIENCE IN HERE SO AWESOME!!

#follow forever #akitalks #ooc #I HOPE THE GOOD VIBES AND POSITIVITY CAN HIT YOU ALL HARD #because that is my goald with this follow forever!! #many things are gonna change in my life and dunno when I'll get to ya know #send more happy things to y'all so yes #I LOVE YOU ALL STAY ALWAYS SAFE #AND THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR FOLLOWING #AND FOR WRITIG WITH ME #AND FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO TALK AND INTERACT WITH SUCH WONDERFUL PEOPLE #THANK YOU ALL SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH SCREAMS AT THE STARS

[im-pok]

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

#jsrf #long post #jsrf beat #jsrf yoyo #jsrf corn #jsrf gum #Youtube

[pionoplayer]

I keep having this really dumb idea in my head of like... overly long undertale style genocide run? But in a setting specifically constructed in such a way to keep the serial escalation of it going without derailing/diluting the thematics. I dunno if it's a particularly good idea but since one of Everhood's songs put another fight concept into my head for it I decided I might as well post the original idea that came with it here to tumblr.

Steps echo down a ruined corridor, worn down by calamity and time both. At the far end, a figure slouches against a pillar, notices the newcomer, and stands up straighter to face them.

"Hey there. Didn't expect someone to make it this far.

Let alone for that someone to be you, of all people.

Guess this is the part where I give my little speech, yeah? That's usually how these things go.

There's a line I've heard said, quite a few times in fact. It goes something like…

'Do you believe that even the worst person, no matter how horrible, can change if they just try?'

I've always considered it a tacky line but in the end, I believe it. The answer was 'yes' for me after all…

But here's the thing, buddy.

After a certain point, the question stops being "can this person change" and starts being "how many people will they hurt if we give them that chance again".

Because a person can change, no matter how horrible… but only if they decide to.

And you've been given more chances than anyone could possibly earn at this point.

Some people would draw a line in the sand and dare you to cross it.

Not me. You've already crossed every line that mattered.

Some people would give you one last chance to drop your weapon and surrender.

But you already killed them all while their guards were down.

And some people are like you. Ruthless, cold, downright psychotic.

I'd say it turns out they were right but uh, you didn't really leave any of them lying around either did you?

So I'm gonna ask this question one, final time. Just for nostalgia's sake. Back when there were beautiful days outside, when there were flowers left to bloom and birds left to sing.

Are you ready to have a bad time?

Because you don't get a choice anymore, as far as you've come down your path the only thing left waiting for you is the worst time of your life.

NOW STAND STILL AND DIE LIKE THE CREATURE YOU ARE."

The newcomer - no, the challenger - steps forwards instead, sending an attack towards the figure at the end of the hall. The strike is rendered harmless.

"Yeah, I figured that would be your response. Let's get started then, shall we?"

The defender begins his own assault, attempting a pace to keep the challenger from launching their retort.

"You know, it's kinda funny. Looking at you, you don't look like the kind of person that would be responsible for everything happening."

A gap in the onslaught, another quick and precise strike, followed by the defender resuming his barrage.

"Hey now, that's not a jab at your height. I don't waste jokes on an audience like you. Just a statement of fact, ya know?"

Another opportunity, another missed shot.

"If it weren't for all the bloodstains and equipment stolen from the corpses of people better than you, I'd think you were just some poor sod looking for their way back home."

A gap, a strike. The pattern is established.

"Wherever your home was, it's probably not there anymore. A lot of homes aren't there anymore, thanks to you.

Doesn't that bother you? That wherever you started you can't go back? That everyone you might have ever cared about in whatever times and places you could've been…

Are just gone? Vanished? Obliterated so thoroughly that even we can't bring them back?

Look, kid. I don't know what your deal is. I know you by reputation alone, and even if my job is dealing with 'problems', I was really hoping I wouldn't wind up here. With you.

But every single one of them, even the psychopaths bent on breaking everything over their knee…

They still had something they wanted to see through. Something they wanted to protect, even if it was just their own sorry hides.

I look in your eyes, in your past, I see nothing. Oh, I see a house, and parents, maybe friends. But I don't see anything real. Real to you. It's like you've erased it, severed all your own ties on a conceptual level.

It's almost like you're just as gone as everything you've taken away."

Something changes. The strike lands a little closer, shaving off something small, insignificant. The constant barrage of destruction falters.

"...That fast huh? Go on, do it again. I dare you, kid."

Another strike. Another impossibly near miss.

"I didn't think you'd actually be dumb enough to do it. Guess my little ramble actually paid off yeah? Now I know exactly what you are. Approximately."

Another strike. This time the sound of it hitting the far wall seems to shake the very foundation of the world itself. And then the room fills with death.

"Let's see how you deal with phase two, buster."

The pattern resumes, just with more noise and violence.

"You know, I really don't know why I'm still talking to you. A friend of mine would tell me to stop wasting my energy…

But, you know, it calms my nerves. Pretending I'm talking to a real person.

Now, I'm sure you know the whole catastrophe, inside and out. You were right at the heart of it after all.

To get things straight though? You got lucky. We were busy, other problems were cropping up, and it didn't look like you were the threat you are until suddenly everything was collapsing.

And with what you are… do you think maybe in another branch of causality we could've maybe been coworkers? Maybe friends?

You've got the moxie to be one of us, I'll tell you what. A bit lacking on the 'morals' side of things though.

Guess it doesn't matter anymore. Even if I, if we, stop you dead in your tracks, in a way you've already won.

Can't go back from where we are now after all…

Speaking of 'not being able to go back', I'm getting a little bit tired of this endless back and forth. What do you say I… speed things up a little?"

Abruptly the pace picks up, what was already an assault leaving so little untargeted space it was frankly unreasonable that the challenger had gotten this far - and gotten this far unscathed no less - becomes an unrivaled, personally targeted cataclysm.

"...You know, even knowing what your deal is... watching you brush off one of my best tricks like it's a laser pointer is infuriating."

The challenger lashes out, a set of frantic, angry strikes that are abruptly cut short by a resumption of hostilities from the defender.

"So you know what? I'll take a turn at your game. Go ahead, hit me with your best shot before I can charge up something better. Let's see how this goes for you."

The hall is silent for the briefest of moments, before the challenger lets loose the first noise they've made throughout the entire confrontation; an infernal, blood-curdling shriek. Power ripples through the hallway, searing away pieces of it in a barrage of strikes meant to bring gods to their knees.

Everything freezes. The challenger, the collapsing hall, everything but the defender.

"Wow, you're really ready to have this be over with, aren't you? I'm sure you almost got me, try harder next time and I'm sure you'll get to see what comes after."

There's a crunch and a soft cry of pain. The challenger is forced to their knees.

"I've got a little piece of advice for you though, assuming you haven't gotten it from me already."

Another crunch, a steady pace of dripping liquid can be heard.

"Your little 'quest' doesn't end with me. I'm just the wake-up call. If you get past me somehow, things are gonna get a whole lot worse for you than you realize. You might wanna turn back now before things actually get ugly."

There's no sound besides the slow drip of blood to the floor of the ruined hall. Or something approximating blood at least.

"Now get lost."

GAME OVER

...You aren't getting rid of me that easily.

>RETRY

#undertale inspired #everhood inspired #original work #writing #monologue

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Who won then? 🥊 Janis: But actual, you alright, yeah? Jimmy: you don't know me, I forgot Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Nah, had money on you and everything Janis: 👍 glad to hear it Jimmy: feeling like a winner 'til I try & come back in from my 🚬 & find he's locked me out Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Truly your kryptonite Janis: Cass'd open a window for ya Jimmy: not if it means round 2 Jimmy: she's #overit Janis: Might go as far as to say #fakefan Janis: you know you can come here if you actually need Janis: probably don't mention me by name though Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who's about? Jimmy: not trying to walk in on a 🥊 with Gracie Janis: Get it, she's a lot when you ain't #overit yourself Janis: just her and my two younger brothers, who are really not gonna bother with you so Janis: get her under strict instructions, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I'll let you know Janis: Try all the windows first, yeah Janis: Shoulda trained Twix to pick locks, my bad Jimmy: You literally had one job, mate Jimmy: get it together Janis: 😞 I know Janis: That's why he's really pissed, all that time I've been wasting when she coulda been a superdog by now Jimmy: you've let yourself down, that dog down & MOST importantly, you've let me down Jimmy: Oh Janet Janis: 💔 Janis: Really gonna think on what I've done Janis: and haven''t Jimmy: I woulda shown you the door if you hadn't legged it that way yourself sharpish Jimmy: so mad, like Janis: That's me, walk 'fore you make me run Janis: Soz to deprive you of that chance Janis: final fuck you, like Jimmy: if I come to yours, you gonna make it up to me? Janis: Obviously Janis: did you SO wrong gotta make it so right again, like Jimmy: I'll start walking now then Jimmy: Gotta make me hard done by enough for 🥇 Janis: Are you gonn get lost? Janis: 'cos get a safe enough distance from yours and I can come find you, like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Not an answer, lover boy Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: there you are Janis: Helpful Janis: Send out an SOS if you do then? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: He say anything you ain't heard at least 1000xs before then? Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: that'd mean he has to know what's going on Janis: Standard Janis: fun to pretend, we get it Jimmy: probably called you by the ex's name at one point Janis: Fair, he ain't asked and I ain't told but embarrassing for you sir Jimmy: he knows your name, Bobby ain't shut up 'bout you since the other day Jimmy: he loved it Janis: He's a babe Jimmy: ain't gonna stay like it living here & hearing that Janis: 😕 Janis: You're alright, ain't you Janis: just have to learn he's full of shit like you and Cass, like, which yeah Janis: shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I know Janis: Grace's mood is catching Janis: 😷 Jimmy: what's with her? Jimmy: did Mia die? Janis: I WISH Janis: fuck mourning we'd be having a party rn Janis: they're not friends currently Janis: long and short of it Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gutted I got nowt on here to wipe my tears on Jimmy: out* Janis: I hope you put clothes on Janis: rookie error otherwise Jimmy: you didn't stick round long enough to take 'em off Jimmy: your rookie error Jimmy: not gonna ruin my fancy shit though, am I? Janis: you know I'm gutted Janis: you looked so Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [selfie] Jimmy: change the tense Jimmy: still do tah Janis: 💪 still got it, kid Janis: unlike your father Jimmy: what's more goals than a #glowup Janis: I've been cute since birth so I don't know 💁 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'd say #same but there ain't that many 📷 of me to prove it Janis: I wish but you know Janis: kids are kinda my parent's thing so even at #7 & #8 they were disgustingly extra 😒 Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I trapped mine, more of a 'happy' accident Jimmy: less fun to document maybe Janis: reckon most first kids are, second and third even but after that like Janis: you know what you're doing here Janis: just didn't have your 📷 skillz Janis: baby you judging Jimmy: yeah, on my list, top one Janis: List of grievances? Janis: stick it on his windshield as you go Jimmy: 👍 deal Janis: Twix says she wants to add her own Janis: screenshotting this convo for her obvs #justgirlythings Jimmy: 🤞 she'll piss in his shoes when I ain't there to take her out in the morning Janis: Will you 💕 her then? Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: If it's a shit I might not kick her out Jimmy: tell your friend Janis: You want a companion out there in the cold, you just have to ask baby 🐶💕 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I do Janis: I didn't wanna leave but you know, for the best obviously Janis: I'll come get you forreal Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: put your running to use Janis: It's got uses Janis: 💪 Janis: but k, lemme take this ugly ass dress off first Jimmy: why did you wear it if you hate it? Janis: for the #goals Janis: it felt appropriate so I knicked it Janis: just from one of my sisters, not that rich bitch stereotype Jimmy: that'd be more #goals Jimmy: steal me better clobber if you love me, tah Janis: 😍 when he slowly introduces you to a life of crime Janis: that's how I saw this date ending fosho Jimmy: for real though don't do it again Janis: Why? Jimmy: 'Cause I like you Jimmy: we want 'em to know that Jimmy: #asyouare and all that bollocks Janis: Okay Janis: miss you a bit Jimmy: so come get me Janis: I am Janis: not that fast Jimmy: get it together, girl Jimmy: sprint not a marathon Janis: 😑 Good thing you're cute Jimmy: slowing yourself down with ugly dresses & 😍 Jimmy: what ARE you playing at Janis: Mean Janis: gonna go cry myself to sleep now instead Jimmy: you want some classic FM? Jimmy: bit of 🎻 Janis: You are rude and me and Pete are gonna bond over it Jimmy: I hope he likes dogs Jimmy: gotta know his place in the pecking order Janis: Make him get a dog with me Janis: how #goals 😍 Jimmy: you gonna move it too or make him do all the work? Jimmy: in* Janis: Probs depends how much his fam hate me Jimmy: you going for 🥇? Jimmy: or is that just for me Janis: You know you're special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: though feel bad for him, Gracie shaded him and didn't have the heart to tell her he's the love of my life 💔 Jimmy: feel worse if you did 'cause she'd be after him Janis: that's her type exclusively 😂 Jimmy: knew it Janis: plan backfired, she'll not leave you alone now, soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: really fucked me over you Janis: I know Janis: Good thing you're chucking me init Jimmy: good thing it ain't raining too 'cause if I was waiting in that for a kiss that ain't coming Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who said I ain't gona kiss ya Janis: not getting nothing out that date tah, who am I Jimmy: you not saving 'em all for Pete? bit rude Jimmy: & I bought you loads of drinks, rich girl Jimmy: that's not nowt Janis: I can have it all, babe Janis: including at least two lads on the go Janis: yeah that's braggable, got me drunk and didn't even try to fuck me 😒 Jimmy: It ain't braggable that you're a pisshead in love with my co-worker but here we are Janis: 😱 say how you really feel Janis: and I am not drunk how dare you Jimmy: do the touch your nose bollocks on your way Jimmy: send me the vid Janis: 😂 Janis: see that up on the 'gram be fuming Janis: I'm a sophisticated lady Jimmy: like I said, just don't dress like one again Janis: Did I look that bad? Jimmy: You looked good, you can't not Jimmy: but I could tell you didn't want it Janis: Not really my style but neither are dates Jimmy: You had a shit time then? Janis: Nah Janis: it was just like hanging out Janis: I don't know why I thought otherwise, maybe a real one is dead awks like everyone bangs on Jimmy: it is if you ain't got nowt to chat on Jimmy: or you don't eat Janis: 🙄 I can imagine Janis: what a waste of money above all else like just lemme fuck you why are we pretending Jimmy: they got money for the #flex Jimmy: not an issue for you rich kids Jimmy: harder pretending that you don't wanna/ain't gonna fuck before the main course Janis: calling me a slag tho Janis: ruuuuuuuuuuuude Jimmy: collective you Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: Unless you were only a fake virgin Janis: now you calling me frigid Janis: yeah, what I always say Janis: like, alright love, 'course you are Jimmy: some lads are into that Jimmy: just wanna be the first instead of 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: what's sexier than total inexperience to mask your own lack of skillz Janis: not a drag Jimmy: it's why Mia's just lie there technique is so popular Jimmy: god bless Janis: Want me to start doing than from now on? Janis: okay Jimmy: Piss off do I Jimmy: I never said she's my type Jimmy: have said the opposite Janis: well I don't know what that means sexually Janis: you want me to tell you you look like alex turner in his prime or?? Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: firstly I look better than him and secondly bollocks Jimmy: You know what I like Janis: 😂 Janis: Okay okay Janis: true and 🤞 true Jimmy: truest that you need to have a word with yourself if you don't reckon I love fucking you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I miss you too, yeah Jimmy: more than Pete does anyway Janis: I don't think that was really a question Janis: but good to know I ain't walking all this way for nothing Jimmy: don't ever ask him Jimmy: stay with me Janis: I'm not going to, I don't like him Janis: I like you Jimmy: alright Janis: alright alright or shut up alright? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I don't want you to shut up Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: Sorry I left Jimmy: Sorry my dad's a fucking bellend Janis: Yeah same but not on my behalf Janis: no worries seriously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Do you need anything, just passing a shop so be quick Jimmy: like what? Janis: I dunno Janis: you might have some fancy nighttime routines I'm not aware of Janis: or want some more 🚬s Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you've stayed at mine loads, how you reckon you don't know what I'm up to? Jimmy: that's a good shout though fuck knows where I've walked to but been 🚬 all the way Jimmy: #goals like Janis: I'm just trying to be a good hostess 'scuse you Janis: I mean you do look hot doing it so Janis: cancer smancer gotta die somehow kid Jimmy: saves my dad a job Jimmy: & yeah I get it rich girl, your house is fancy, pick me up a ballgown or whatever Janis: Not if he wants to keep his free childcare, think on, like Janis: It ain't it's just big Janis: not fitting us all in a 2 up 2 down, think it thru Ma and Da Jimmy: You gonna introduce me? Janis: If you wanna Jimmy: not what I most wanna do but a bit rude if I just walk in like a horny mute Jimmy: only one of us is pulling that off babe Janis: SHUT UP 😫 Janis: you don't have to they won't care but if we see them Janis: hopefully I won't die of embarrassment Jimmy: calm down, Jenna Jimmy: don't wanna lose your voice Janis: you mean you don't want me to, boy Jimmy: maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: #blatant Janis: we can be as loud as we like, the only other person downstairs is my brother Diego and he's deaf so Janis: thanks kid, unexpected solid there Jimmy: for real or like how your hippie brother wished he was blind the other day Janis: IOU so much more than petrol money 😳 Jimmy: I fucked myself over mentioning that though Jimmy: can't stop thinking 'bout it now Janis: It was Janis: good Janis: really fucking good Jimmy: don't say owt more I'm trying to walk Janis: 😶 Janis: was though Jimmy: yeah I know Jimmy: & I wanted you so bad before I thought 'bout it Jimmy: I just did Janis: I know Janis: It's hard doing anything with you that isn't fucking Janis: you're just very distracting at all times Jimmy: You are Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: hate you too Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: got the 🚬s Janis: if I couldn't and they'd carded me that woulda been a fail Janis: #flex Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: so proud babe Janis: it's the legs Jimmy: & 'cause you ain't wearing that dress Jimmy: but tah for the reminder I'll try & breathe Janis: floral dresses defs a way to look 6 or 86 Janis: not a mood and the 20 year old with bum fluff serving me agrees Jimmy: he better not be agreeing too hard Jimmy: I'll give him a smack Jimmy was timed out 15 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis: 😂 you're good at that bit Janis: the protective boyfriend Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: It's okay, very #goals of you 😍 Jimmy: just 'cause I let you win one play fight Jimmy: don't mean I ain't hard, alright Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: so impressive, babe Jimmy: now it just sounds like you want me to fight him Jimmy: get your 📷 out Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm that bitch Janis: #proveyourself Jimmy: stay there then Jimmy: I'll find my way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: nah #goals Jimmy: you already outed yourself, mate Jimmy: I know you want it Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: not my #goals Janis: theirs Janis: any sign that you care's'a huge pantydropper, obvs Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Poor Kev Jimmy: first name terms, yeah? Jimmy: back on your bollocks, Jasmine Janis: Only go for boys with nametags Janis: that's my secret Janis: would help you loads Jimmy: nowt secret 'bout it, love Janis: Calling me blatant? Janis: This was your plan, boy Jimmy: driving me to it, girl Janis: so 😠 yeah Jimmy: so 💪 Jimmy: I'll just spark him out & we'll go Janis: Nerd Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: & you want me Janis: Maybe Janis: but you're coming for Kev Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm coming for you, baby Jimmy: show him you're #mine Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: if I don't get lost Jimmy: nowt #goals 'bout me just wandering Janis: You're adorable Jimmy: piss off Janis: You are though Janis: how Janis: very rude of you Jimmy: rude of you to keep on when I'm trying to be tough Jimmy: & ain't even gonna mention that it's a bit cold Janis: Stop Janis: Ruining my rep here as well Jimmy: you alright? 'cause you ain't having my jacket, mate Jimmy: I don't like you that much Janis: Don't want it anyway Janis: back to looking 🔥 Janis: tah very much Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: fucking brutal you Janis: can't have it both ways mate Jimmy: can I have you not shitting on my #aesthetic Janis: 😂 Janis: You must do something right Janis: not in #scruffy camp with poor Pete and the white girl w dreads Jimmy: chat to me 'bout that then Jimmy: you love calling me pretty Janis: Shh Jimmy: go on, I could be close to death here Janis: only if Kev fucks you up Janis: you really want the last thing I say to you to be you're pretty Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: what do you want your last words to me to be then? Janis: Not gonna spoil it Janis: wait and see Jimmy: I get it, you wanna call me a dickhead one last time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You know you'd rather Jimmy: I'd rather you just kiss me Jimmy: if I'm gonna go anyway Janis: That's what I'll do then Janis: such a hardship for me, obvs but you know Janis: just that generous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: Tell me that 'fore you go, alright Jimmy: I'll force the words out for you, darling Janis: Tryna walk here Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where are you? 'cause I don't wanna walk anymore Jimmy: not for a bit Janis: Stay put and put your location on Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't fuck it up Jimmy: one job, you know Janis: Please Janis: these are my ends, like it or not Jimmy: tell it to that bus driver you pissed off with your bollocks, babe Janis: 😒 Janis: still your fault Jimmy: yours Jimmy: unless you wake up looking different, always is Janis: convenient Janis: but not that mad about it Jimmy: I'm mad 'bout how slow you are Jimmy: what kind of athlete Janis: If you shut up I'll get there faster Janis: chatterbox Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #shaded Janis: you know I like it when you're loud too Jimmy: you shoulda stayed for the 🥊 Jimmy: love shouting me Janis: Let your Da fully appreciate without my #distracting presence Jimmy: I'm sure he'll say tah when he next sees you Janis: 😏 Janis: I see you though, for now Jimmy: Can't see you, just some random Jimmy: dunno who she could be Janis: oh yeah? Janis: gonna go with her then or what Jimmy: might do Jimmy: she's got nice hair Jimmy: & legs Janis: she looking your way? Janis: [is, duh] Jimmy: good eyes too I reckon Janis: Sounds like you're well in Jimmy: sorry mate means you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Gutted Janis: gonna leave for you start making a scene then Jimmy: It's been #real Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause they gotta save this night] Janis: What was that for? Jimmy: job well done? Jimmy: you got here Janis: your faith in me was so encouraging, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: [kisses her again so he don't say something embarrassing about how much faith he has cos no boy] Janis: You're cute, boy Janis: come back to mine Jimmy: I will just Jimmy: gimme a Janis: [Kisses him] Janis: that? Jimmy: & a sec Jimmy: so I can Jimmy: [kisses her again too 'cause distract him from how much a prick his dad is thank you babe] Janis: We don't have to go there straight away Janis: whatever you want, within the confines of this shithole, obvs Jimmy: you know I want you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: [amps it up no chill ever lads] Jimmy: [Takes off his coat & puts it on the floor so they can lie on it & pulls her down onto it for more kisses 'cause same] Janis: Such a romantic, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Need a car Janis: making dogging low-rent us and that's saying something Jimmy: I'll nick one for us Jimmy: give you those life of crime goals Janis: 😍 damn daddy Janis: I'm driving though, deal with it Jimmy: I'll take my dad's then Jimmy: no 💔 if you crash it Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I can drive bitch Jimmy: only got your word for that, Janet Jimmy: & ain't gonna be your bitch if you can Janis: 👎 boo Janis: hit up all the other 15 y/os that'll blow me for lifts if you gonna be like that Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up] Jimmy: what if that's how I'm gonna be? Jimmy: what you gonna do? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lemme think Jimmy: [more kisses while she's thinking] Janis: You drive a hard bargain Janis: alright, we can still be mates Jimmy: yeah very hard me Jimmy: told you Janis: Prove it Jimmy: [pins her down in a sexy way for a hot make out sesh] Janis: I really missed you Janis: it wasn't even that long but everything is shit and boring when you ain't around Jimmy: I'd say prove it, but I reckon you have Janis: [Proves it some more, get up and go lads] Jimmy: I Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: we need to go Jimmy: or I'm just gonna fuck you here Janis: as much as I don't care Janis: all your Da needs is actual fuel to hate me more so Janis: let's avoid getting arrested tonight, like Jimmy: [helps her up and turns it into a hug 'cause he needs one not sorry] Janis: [Hugs back properly and for ages 'cos knows it] Janis: Come on then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [morning after but later when he's at work not early af when he left] Jimmy: Morning, Jillian Jimmy: how's it treating you? Janis: Impressed you managed to walk of shame without getting lost Janis: lowkey bit miffed you hmu, thought I'd finally got rid of ya when you weren't here, like but Janis: how 'bout you regardless Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll go then Jimmy: reckoned you'd wanna know it's dickhead day here at the CG so you could get yourself down Jimmy: had 'em all in, my dad included Janis: Serious Janis: how desperate and shaming, sir Janis: other places to get an overpriced espresso Jimmy: but nowhere you can get away with treating your server like shit & still get to finish Janis: 😒 Janis: so hard up for entertainment he had to have 'round two, like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: so desperate for proof of life after one night gone he can't accept a fuck you text like a normal person at that time of the morning Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Suddenly arsed, okay Jimmy: I can go anywhere I want as long as I end up under his roof Jimmy: on me own Janis: 👍 Assuming he wanted to go meet his newest then Janis: all fun Jimmy: tah for reminding me Jimmy: family dinner thursday Jimmy: come looking like the #badinfluence you are babe Janis: Yeah? Janis: knew he loved me 😏 Jimmy: I'm inviting you 'cause I do Jimmy: & you owe me that Janis: so you want me to piss your Dad off more? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & let his girlfriend now what she's getting into Jimmy: know* Jimmy: if she's gonna stick around for more than a night Jimmy: Me & Cass will do our bit, not all on you Janis: Alright Janis: Solid plan Janis: I'm in Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's cooking, tell your dad & maybe we can get that shit cancelled before it happens Janis: 😂 Janis: no one wants to make it that much of a family affair Janis: be more horrified and can't really blame him Jimmy: 💔 all around Janis: deffo the mood he's going for Jimmy: I know you're not into it but if you could seduce this bird it'd save me a job Janis: what's she look like Janis: you know yet Jimmy: nah Jimmy: could try & guess based on the last but he really ain't fussy Jimmy: or as committed to a #type as you reckon I am Janis: She ain't got at least 5 piercings and you out Janis: take one for the team Jimmy: tah Janis: be #troubling if she was your type Janis: next step in a midlife crisis surely, younger woman Jimmy: easier for me to fake date her & 💔 him though Janis: Beats the cliche of him stealing your girlfriend Janis: very porn plot this Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 🤞 MILF Jimmy: as long as she ain't got any kids Jimmy: the last one did & she was always trying to organise playdates Janis: Eurgh Janis: own siblings are bad enough Jimmy: didn't have a hot teenage daughter or nowt Jimmy: step it up, Valerie Janis: Un🍀 Jimmy: what you doing with your day? Janis: Gotta start prep now, obvs Janis: whole military operation you know Janis: give a bitch 3-5 working days notice next time Jimmy: you've got a bit Jimmy: not like its tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 yeah Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: NO JIMMY Janis: gonna look such a state now OMG Jimmy: just don't borrow owt from your sister & you won't have anything to bond with our honored guest over Jimmy: job done Janis: 🙄 she probably has a moodboard waiting for the day, like Jimmy: #sisterbonding Jimmy: how goals Janis: piss off Janis: defs don't owe you that much Jimmy: I'm gonna owe you loads of compensation for the cancer 'cause of all the 🚬 we gotta do Jimmy: my dad hates when I leave the table for it Jimmy: #deathwishinalltheways Janis: 😂 Janis: how many ways can you show him up Janis: challenge forreal Jimmy: wait 'til I start touching you up under the table, mate Jimmy: he's gonna be livid Janis: 😳 Janis: boy Jimmy: you turning down the challenge already? Janis: 'Course not Janis: #dedicated Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: why I like you Janis: Who else gonna come family dinner and fuck shit up, like Janis: duh Jimmy: If I told them I'll do more than play footsie with 'em probably a fair few lasses but Janis: shut up Janis: nuuh Jimmy: you shut up Jimmy: I want you to do it Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever Jimmy: whatever yourself, dickhead Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you love yourself so much, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: & that's what you like 'bout me Janis: Sure Janis: no convincing you otherwise so ain't wasting my breath Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lucky you ain't here Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💔 gutted I ain't 😍😍😍 Janis: Pervert Jimmy: won't tell you how adorable you look when you sleep then 😘 Janis: Good Janis: I ain't adorable don't be trying to spread that about Janis: cheek Jimmy: 👼 you Janis: Actually such a wind-up merchant Janis: ugh Jimmy: you love it, Jennifer Janis: Hmm clearly Janis: or I'm a sucker for the pain Jimmy: I get it, you're hurting being away from me Janis: yeah, every minute feels like an hour, babe Janis: 'specially the more you chat on Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It really aches, yeah Jimmy: you just Jimmy: need me Janis: don't make me actually miss you Janis: gotta get things done today, like Janis: can't stay in bed waiting and dreaming 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: rich girl fantasy Jimmy: it ain't my top one but it's the easiest for you to get done Jimmy: no effort like Janis: Tick it off my to-do list Janis: hmu with the rest Jimmy: I can't if I ain't allowed to miss you Janis: not on the clock, has your manager put a ban on Janis: Pete so highkey Janis: bless Jimmy: 😂 Janis: would love to run the place into the ground to piss off my sister but not gonna fuck w ur funds like that Janis: bit rude Jimmy: fuck it school starts soon Jimmy: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that much of a dickhead day yeah Janis: poor boy Jimmy: blasting classic FM Jimmy: full orchestra mood Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 😎 Janis: So cute how you dellude yourself Janis: 💕 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're meant to be making me feel not shit Jimmy: one job, like Janis: 😘 love you Jimmy: only works if you 😗 me in person Janis: you want me to come in later Jimmy: do you wanna? Jimmy: shit to do, yeah Janis: Not THAT much shit Janis: girl gotta eat Jimmy: in it for the smoothies Jimmy: & bacon sarnies Janis: what else? 🤷 Jimmy: pay up then, rich girl Janis: That's how it is now, yeah? Janis: gonna hit me with a massive tab to pay Jimmy: it's out of control Jimmy: sort it out, mate Jimmy: 👌 Janis: thought you was adding it to my sister's Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: I will from now on Jimmy: least I know I'll get it Janis: 😱 Janis: invite her to dinner if she's so reliable Jimmy: the IT couple would like her too much Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: not the plan Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: your grasp on compliments needs work Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what do you wanna hear? Janis: nothing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't matter Janis: forget about it Jimmy: don't be faking there's nowt wrong now Jimmy: what Janis: Seriously, it's nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when everyone chats how nice she is Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: I was saying she's #basic & so are they Janis: yeah Janis: it's fine then Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: bring some enthusiasm with you into it Janis: 😒 Janis: don't push it Jimmy: don't chat that it's fine if it ain't Janis: oh my god Janis: boy Jimmy: you're testing me, girl Janis: shut up Janis: haven't you got a shitty customer to go deal with or something Jimmy: yeah but your bollocks takes priority Janis: feel so special Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: & stop Janis: alright Janis: later then yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: am i coming at lunch or nah Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: so helpful Janis: yeah whatever Janis: gym is close anyway and that's where I'm headed next so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bring some enthusiasm with you Jimmy: saving it for when you show up Jimmy: gotta give the fans what they want Janis: 'course Janis: that's what really counts Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll have my 😍😍 fixed & ready like Jimmy: too much enthusiasm for the CG Janis: That's just your customer service style Janis: I be knowing Jimmy: ask your sister Jimmy: it ain't Janis: 💔 -her Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: such a heartbreaker boy Jimmy: hit my ex up Jimmy: she'll chat on it for ages Janis: well you had to do something pretty bad for her to steal your man Janis: figured Jimmy: 'course Janis: 💀 Jimmy: did you just die? Jimmy: no warning, tah Janis: the conversation did Janis: but good to know I gotta give you my notice 'fore I kms Janis: wasn't clear in the deal Jimmy: write me a letter Jimmy: it'll look great on the 'gram Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna fully blame you and ruin your life from beyond the grave Jimmy: figured Jimmy: already said ages ago what a nightmare you are Janis: I remember Janis: twat Jimmy: #inspo for your note then Janis: what you being annoying for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: you Janis: No I ain't Jimmy: actually piss off then Janis: Fuck you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you won't Janis: Very mature Jimmy: soz I didn't realise I'd added my dad to the chat Jimmy: hang on Janis: 😑 Janis: There's no point even trying right now is there Jimmy: do you even wanna try making that sound like a question Janis: What have I done Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: it's all me Jimmy: we established that Janis: 🙄 Janis: Yeah go on then Janis: if it makes you feel better Janis: go for your life Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah for the permission Janis: So welcome Jimmy: felt it Janis: What? Jimmy: so welcoming you Janis: Yeah fuck me for inviting you 'round Janis: what a nightmare Jimmy: leave it out Janis: whatever Janis: not gonna force you to be grateful Janis: not what it was Jimmy: why say it then? Jimmy: sounds like that is what you want, rich girl Janis: no Janis: it ain't Janis: I want you to stop being like this but I ain't gonna beg Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: could've been hot but alright Janis: it ain't funny Janis: shut up Jimmy: I told you to piss off Jimmy: how many times do I have to? Janis: I can do what I want Janis: mute me if you're so arsed Jimmy: you're so good at that yourself Jimmy: no need Janis: Ha Janis: good one Jimmy: not just a #prettyface Jimmy: why I kill in tips Janis: Obviously Janis: not your coffee Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: book your slot for comedy open mic, babe Janis: Too much like work Janis: with this bank account? Janis: fuck off Jimmy: must've got you confused with my other fake girlfriend again Jimmy: soz Janis: maybe one day you'll get a real one and she'll help you keep track Jimmy: if I get a real one there's no room for fake Jimmy: job done Janis: Rooting for you Jimmy: again, no need Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Do it then Jimmy: what are you trying to challenge me for? Jimmy: if I wanted one we wouldn't be here Janis: Nah Jimmy: what? Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: & I didn't understand it Jimmy: so Janis: Call it a language barrier Jimmy: just tell me what you're going on about Janis: Why would I want to Janis: more to take the piss outta me for, yeah, no tah Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Exactly Jimmy: if you can say something once & act like you stand by it you can say it again so I get it Janis: Why don't you want a girlfriend then Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: got enough going on Janis: Okay Jimmy: you wanna try that again? Jimmy: weren't convinced Janis: Shut up Janis: how is it any less time consuming fake dating then Jimmy: it ain't Jimmy: but we've got a deal Janis: It can be done Jimmy: is that what you want? Janis: I probably won't come out of it looking the best but I'll make it work Jimmy: not what I asked, was it Janis: Think what you want about me but I'm not trying to make your life harder Janis: let's get that straight Jimmy: what the fuck are you thinking if you reckon that's what I'm saying Jimmy: never did Janis: Are you serious, you literally just did Janis: you've got enough on, it's time-consuming Janis: don't act like I've pulled it out my arse Jimmy: nah you've just twisted it on the exit out Jimmy: I ain't got time to go looking for a girlfriend is what I said Janis: You would if you weren't doing this Jimmy: maybe but I am doing it Jimmy: I told you, we've got a deal Jimmy: I'm not just fucking off out of it Janis: Well I said you could Janis: you can't choose to keep doing it and make it my fault when I've given you an out Jimmy: well I don't want to Jimmy: & nowts your fault so shut up Janis: that ain't how it feels Jimmy: how's it feel then? Janis: like you're taking every opportunity to remind me of how much of a fucking hardship it is and how badly you don't wanna do it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know that ain't how it is Janis: That's how you're being Janis: how it seems Janis: which is pretty fucking shitty considering Jimmy: considering what? Jimmy: you let me in your big, fancy house or have we moved on to summat else now? Janis: Don't Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: don't what, tell you how you made it sound? Jimmy: like you did some huge fucking favor to me Janis: That's not what I meant Janis: but by that point you'd had several digs at me already Janis: so yeah, maybe it came out a bit harsh, if I recall you were saying just how welcoming I was and that was just the last of Jimmy: 'cause you were having a massive strop from the sec I mentioned your sister Jimmy: instead of just taking the compliment Janis: That's no excuse to say some of the shit you said is it Jimmy: I don't have any excuses Jimmy: just Janis: Fine Jimmy: don't say it's fine when it isn't Jimmy: I fucked it up, alright Jimmy: just like he wants me to Janis: I know you're having a shit time of it with your Dad, that's what I'm saying, I'm not trying to 'cause more problems Janis: if it stops being worth it on your end you don't have to keep doing it, it's not that important, my rep was for shit anyway so Jimmy: don't go Jimmy: that's important to me Janis: is it Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: so I need you, okay Janis: but you said Janis: no Janis: okay Jimmy: what did I say? Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you can Janis: I don't even know how you said it now or when in this convo and I don't want to reread but Janis: I was saying it was shitty to say all the things you did considering you fucked me and are still fucking me, like Janis: don't have to be my best mate but like Janis: can you not Janis: okay Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: for real Jimmy: I'm not just saying it Jimmy: & I shouldn't have said what I did Jimmy: I get it if you don't like me anymore Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I said some things, even if I didn't mean it that's still how it came out so Janis: sorry too and let's just Janis: move on yeah Jimmy: maybe I am Jimmy: stupid Janis: No you're not Janis: being it but we all do and it's excusable given, alright Jimmy: I really wanna be with you Jimmy: I should've just skipped & stayed Jimmy: I didn't reckon on him actually showing up Janis: I wasn't expecting that either Janis: I mean, devil's advocate and don't shoot me, guess it shows he cares on some level Janis: even if it's for the wrong, selfish reasons, idk Janis: trying to make him seem not like a total twat is hard Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: just try and forget what a total twat I am Janis: You're not though Janis: unfortunate, be easier to ignore with the rest then but you aren't Jimmy: are you at the gym? Jimmy: I'm gonna leave Janis: I didn't get there in the end Janis: do you want to come back here or Janis: I wasn't showing off, or trying to Janis: that ain't me, I know I'm rich and whatever but Jimmy: let me come back Jimmy: 'cause I know that Jimmy: I was just being a dickhead after he was to me Janis: I get it Janis: I should've been nicer Janis: I'm not good at all this Jimmy: nah you are Jimmy: don't be a doormat to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: If I'd been less of a dickhead to begin with we might not have got to this point though but Jimmy: you've always been a dickhead Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: I like you Janis: I like you too Janis: it Janis: it's not just a deal to me okay Jimmy: don't just say that to make me feel better Janis: I ain't Janis: I didn't think you'd wanna hear it so literal opposite of what I was reckoning but Jimmy: you're Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: too good for me & this bollocks probably Janis: Nah Janis: anyway, I want to too Janis: I'm not gonna just piss off, yeah Janis: sorry about it Jimmy: be my real girlfriend then Janis: what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: Yeah and it's a total 180 to like everything you just said so Janis: hold on, like Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: are YOU saying what you think I wanna hear now Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying what I wanna say Jimmy: don't make me feel weird about it Janis: sorry Janis: just checking Janis: okay then Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 'cause I'm coming to your house right now so be sure, tah Jimmy: hung up my apron & everything Janis: 💔 for the apron moment Janis: yeah, I'm sure Jimmy: I can keep it on if you're that into it Jimmy: take me a sec to go back & grab it & I'll get some weird looks but Janis: 😏 you're ridiculous Jimmy: you got me now so get used to the #craic Janis: God you're so cute, shut up Jimmy: will you come with me later to make sure everyone's alright at mine? your true love 🐶 included? Janis: Yeah Janis: 'course I will Jimmy: before my dad gets back, I'm not an animal Jimmy: you don't have to deal with that Janis: Don't worry, if it gives all of you an easier life, I'm happy to avoid him Jimmy: if only Jimmy: if it ain't you it's owt else Janis: 😕 yeah Janis: I'll climb up the drainpipe when I miss you, it's fine 💪 Jimmy: you're so hot Jimmy: can't even remember what I was feeling like before Jimmy: just 😍 now Janis: You know I like sleeping with you Janis: I mean actual sleeping Jimmy: you should stop growing though Jimmy: it's really gonna fuck us over Janis: Yeah, imagine it's easier with Bobs Jimmy: coffee stunts your growth, babe Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: if you really wanna make life easiier Janis: think of my basketball career Janis: someone should've warned Gracie, no catching up now love Jimmy: believe me i'm 💔 Jimmy: the potential those legs coulda had Jimmy: yours not hers Janis: 😂 speedy recovery like for the love of God don't start up again bitch Jimmy: you know Jimmy: don't want you dumping me when we only just got together for real Janis: You wish Janis: no chance, mate Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: scared enough tah Jimmy: always chatting 'bout how much you're gonna fuck me up Janis: 1. you love it Janis: 2. how nice am I to you actually, fuck the chat Jimmy: 1. your house takes ages to get to, owt could happen Jimmy: 2. see #1 Janis: Have a little faith, boy Jimmy: I told you, Jesus don't live with us, girl Jimmy: much as I'd love to make him pay his share Janis: 😏 he died for YOUR sins Janis: yours specifically Jimmy: I ain't done nowt wrong a day in my life Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Come here and start then Janis: Loser Jimmy: VERY rude Jimmy: 1. 🥇 Jimmy: 2. I want you so bad right now don't say shit like that Janis: 1. team Janis: 2. try and stop me now I've got every right to want you as much as I do Jimmy: 3. alright but I reckon this is the same bus driver so if you keep turning me on he's gonna think I love him Janis: 4. already tryna get an old man involved Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't kink shame me Jimmy: not very goals Janis: fine bring with but I ain't touching him Jimmy: I'm pretty sure he just likes to watch Jimmy: definitely remembers me Janis: Gonna have to be a solo show for now Janis: don't disappoint Jimmy: don't tempt me Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: being back here ain't helping Janis: how and why does that feel like ages ago Janis: i wanted you so badly Jimmy: 'cause I've fucked you so many times since then Jimmy: keep wanting me, alright Janis: 🤤 Janis: done Janis: you're Janis: i don't know but whatever you are you're a lot of it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I don't want to get arrested for being a horny mute Jimmy: especially when I fuck up the last bit Janis: He likes it, he's not gonna call Garda Jimmy: not gonna like it when I say your name though Janis: sure he would, he just likes to watch Janis: remembers me too, like Jimmy: might think I'm cheating Jimmy: girl of so many names you Janis: brought that on yourself, boy Janis: surprised you haven't said the wrong one during Jimmy: It ain't my fault I can't read Janis: can't stop shaming you can i Janis: how rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I get it though, trying to turn me from horny to heartbroken Jimmy: tah babe Janis: Poor baby Janis: switch it up on you and make you feel all better when you get here Jimmy: I'm so mad at you for being able to touch yourself if you want Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: i mean you could but you're 🐔 Jimmy: think carefully before you lay that challenge down Jimmy: you know I'll do it Janis: I know I want you to do it but Janis: are you up for the REAL challenge of not getting caught Jimmy: only but now is how bad do you want me to Jimmy: 'cause of course I am Jimmy: taught me everything I need to know, didn't you? Are YOU doubting your techniques? Janis: 'Course I'm not, I told you, I never got caught Janis: I want you to do it Janis: this bad [nude] Jimmy: alright, you have to do it too though & try to be caught Jimmy: that's your challenge Janis: Jesus Janis: Okay Jimmy: how are we gonna prove this? Janis: Record it? Jimmy: I already can't think properly Jimmy: no shit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Step in the right direction Janis: you don't need to think at all, just feel Jimmy: it's your fault, sending me that pic Jimmy: now I'm just Jimmy: feeling a lot Janis: You're welcome for the headstart I gave you Janis: I had to put my clothes back on and find a place I could get caught Jimmy: feeling left out? like it's too much of a challenge? Jimmy: Let me help you Jimmy: [sends own pics of how turned on he is] Janis: Fuck Janis: see, you have to touch yourself Janis: that is too good to waste Jimmy: if anyone does catch me I'll tell them it's a #medicalemergency Jimmy: but they won't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll cosign it babe Janis: why we have to fuck so much, yeah? Jimmy: feel free to use the excuse when you get rumbled Jimmy: female hysteria, yeah Janis: Not aftr that rant from my Ma as pillowtalk Jimmy: where are you anyway? Janis: Outside Janis: Nice day and it reminds me of the times we've nearly Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I should not have asked Jimmy: that's Janis: You'll see when you watch my video won't you Janis: do my best with the angles Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: fuck me outside when we won't get caught, alright Janis: You know you're so talented Janis: gonna be #art Janis: Yes, I want that Jimmy: You're #art Jimmy: tonight then 🤞 Janis: Definitely Janis: at yours or mine Jimmy: less people to catch us at mine Jimmy: but 'cause you're in your garden now I wanna do it there Janis: We can do it right here Janis: x marks the spot Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: real challenge is me doing you better than you can Janis: That's no challenge come on Jimmy: bit rude to yourself that Jimmy: I know you're good, babe Janis: You're better Janis: so much better Jimmy: I can't take that compliment right now Jimmy: I've got a challenge not to fail Jimmy: can't if I die Janis: Well if I get caught I might get murdered so Janis: see you in Hell baby Jimmy: 👍 Janis: How hard are you biting your lip right now? Jimmy: you'll see if I've got my angles Jimmy: but fuck Jimmy: I can really feel it Janis: it hurts good right? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it'll feel even better when you kiss me later Janis: I'll be so gentle Janis: 'til I can't Jimmy: never gonna be mad 'bout you losing control Janis: Good because Janis: This feels incredible Jimmy: I wanna know exactly how it feels Jimmy: but I don't wanna put you off Janis: I'm doing this for you, Jimmy Janis: I want to tell you Jimmy: yeah but typing & filming Jimmy: you need some control for that Jimmy: you're meant to lose it all Janis: I'm using talk and type already Janis: One step ahead Jimmy: I'm mad that I have to be sneaky & you don't Jimmy: I want Janis: What do you want? Jimmy: I wanna just Jimmy: let go too Janis: You can Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: so tell me what it's like Janis: It's like Janis: my hearts already beating fast because of how turned on I am but then it's going insane because I know anyone could see me, hear me, right now Janis: I feel like I could pass out Jimmy: I reckon you could hear mine on this recording 'cause I'm making no sound Jimmy: trying not to breathe too loud even Janis: You're so good Janis: You can totally lose control when you get here Janis: and tonight Jimmy: I have to with you Jimmy: nowt else I can Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: you're Jimmy: gonna be the death of me Janis: I can't help it Janis: You're Janis: there's so much I want to do with you Jimmy: we can Jimmy: you're my girlfriend now you can just Janis: say that again Jimmy: what? Janis: say I'm your girlfriend again Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're my girlfriend, Janis Janis: you're gonna know when you said that when you see this Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: bit awkward if I don't Janis: Trust Janis: How did that nearly get me off Jimmy: I better not chat 'bout how long I wanted to ask you then Janis: Tell me Janis: You gotta talk in here so you keep 😶 Jimmy: it's been ages Jimmy: before you made us miss our stop, like Janis: You mean it Jimmy: you don't think so? Janis: I believe you Janis: I just Janis: I dunno how this happened Jimmy: at the party I just Jimmy: there was so much shit I wanted to say Jimmy: I thought I was just drunk but Janis: I remember Janis: I felt it as well Janis: you can tell me anything you want Jimmy: I got drunk hoping I would just tell you Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: & so I could be around you & not be a dickhead Janis: I love hanging out with you Janis: I just do Janis: it never felt fake Jimmy: yeah but I reckoned you were faking it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: I'm not Janis: I mean, I don't have friends for a reason Janis: I keep people away Janis: I wasn't used to any of it, so I didn't think I would like you or anything, that it'd be easy to fake and feel nothing butt Jimmy: I get it, the only reason I had friends back home is 'cause I'd always had that same group since I was well younger Jimmy: they wouldn't go away Jimmy: I tried Janis: Yeah Janis: exactly Janis: you have to be a real cunt to get them to go, it's not fun Jimmy: I was Jimmy: & still Jimmy: but I don't want you to go Jimmy: don't Janis: Clearly, I'm a better actor than you #humblebrag #sorry Janis: I won't Janis: where am I going Jimmy: hollywood maybe Janis: unless I accidentally post this vid and make it big Jimmy: you better not 'cause then I'd have to post mine as a one up Jimmy: twitter already can't handle me Janis: not for moral support nor nothing, just gotta upstage me Janis: take the clout of how many times I've said your name already and be happy 'cos I can't handle you either Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it's getting really hard to be subtle Janis: you aren't subtle, that's what I like about you Jimmy: you might, the rest of the passengers won't Jimmy: not if I touch myself how I really want Jimmy: they're all gonna notice then Janis: they've seen worse on the bus, like Janis: not like you aren't the literal most drop dead gorgeous boy around Janis: appreciate and enjoy, people Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really not helping me win here Jimmy: different challenges, remember? Janis: 😈 Janis: Losing can be fun Janis: I'm finding out Jimmy: You're not gonna lose Jimmy: someone's gonna catch you Jimmy: come on Janis: why does that make me hornier what the fuck Jimmy: You want it Jimmy: baby come on Jimmy: you can do it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Jimmy: do it for me, yeah Janis: Yes Janis: Holy Jimmy: cum Jimmy: we can together Janis: I want you to cum on my face tonight, will you, please Janis: that's what I'm thinking about, and how much of a mess you're gonna be when you get here Jimmy: like I said, you're my girlfriend now Jimmy: we can do anything Janis: that's tipped me over the edge Jimmy: it's alright Janis: Oh Jesus who just pulled up Jimmy: you're winning, girl Janis: I don't think I can move Janis: this is Jimmy: so stay Janis: Okay Janis: Shit Jimmy: who is it? Janis: My Dad Janis: my brother is with him, Pablo Jimmy: at least it's not Grace Jimmy: then you'd have to move Jimmy: can't give her a captive audience Janis: More terrifying caught than them noticing me right now Janis: *thought whoops Jimmy: what do you look like? Jimmy: help me picture it Janis: Okay, so, I'm laying on the grass with my knees up, and I just have a baggy t-shirt on and I had my knickers around my ankles but I quickly took them all the way off when I heard them so now I'm just holding them in my right hand and they're soaked, I must be so pink and embarrassed, I'm literally out of breath, it's so obvious Jimmy: oh Jimmy: let me know if they decide to stop and say hi then Janis: They better not, I'm holding it back, but I really need to cum again Janis: I know I can't be quiet Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I believe in you Janis: Jimmy tell me what to do Janis: this hurts, I don't know if they're staying or going or what Jimmy: don't wait for 'em to stop pissing 'bout Jimmy: do what you gotta do Jimmy: make yourself quiet this time, you already won Janis: Yeah I did Janis: you're Janis: actually the best boyfriend Jimmy: it's cause you're my #muse Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: never more than now Janis: So cute Jimmy: if I could I'd draw you exactly like this Jimmy: You're actually art, you know Janis: that's what 📸 are for Janis: but I cannot deal with all these compliments right now Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: 'cause you said I could tell you anything I want Jimmy: & you're like properly beautiful Janis: Baby Jimmy: I wanna know you & I don't wanna know anyone Jimmy: hate you a bit for it but Janis: Sorry Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: It's alright, I really like you too Jimmy: we can still be goals Janis: we are Janis: undeniably Janis: even the haters are obsessed Jimmy: did you check your bushes for Mia before you started fucking yourself? Probably should've Janis: even the idea of accidentally getting her off by-proxy isn't enough to turn me off right now Janis: though I would've ideally been way more rough Jimmy: you need to keep going 'cause that's the horniest anyone has or could ever have been Janis: 😂 I told you it was bad Jimmy: I'm not far away Jimmy: we can sort this Janis: My hero Jimmy: gonna make you swoon dramatically, yeah Janis: Better be planning on making me do more than that, boy Jimmy: I don't need a plan Jimmy: I know what to do Janis: You really fucking do Jimmy: 1. is fucking you with my tongue for a bit 'cause as hello's go, top one Jimmy: if you can stay conscious I'll show you what 2. is Janis: 😩 You know how hard I'm gonna cum right, like, be prepared Janis: your tongue is Jimmy: I want it & you want it Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Why are you perfect Janis: and how Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm just a good boyfriend Jimmy: you'll see Janis: I believe it Janis: but I look forward to knowing Jimmy: leave your review under my pillow as part of the Dear John to soften the blow when you dump me Janis: Hush Jimmy: I don't have to now Jimmy: challenge is over Jimmy: video now or later? Janis: Hmm Janis: Later, I wanna watch it with you here, preferably when you're going down on me Janis: can have a review then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gives me time to edit so I look pretty how you like 😏 Jimmy: gonna give myself anime eyes or some shit 😂 Janis: You always look pretty, you just are, it's rude Janis: we've all jacked it to hentai, ain't too proud, try me but please don't 😂 Jimmy: this is why you're girlfriend material Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Where you been lately? Joe: I just got some good shit in Joe: Come over Ronnie: Around Ronnie: You want coordinates? Ronnie: Who from? Joe: So mysterious Joe: just a clue Joe: been bored Joe: I went down Tavy Bridge Joe: Happy? Ronnie: devil's in the details you deviant Ronnie: a who not a where like Ronnie: reserving judgement til i get my taste Ronnie: trust you as far as I cba to throw you, mckenna Joe: could say the same of what i asked you but likewise, cba Joe: can hardly afford for it to be bad down that way, can they? but its that turkish bloke, never heard him called anything but boss Ronnie: got me interested Ronnie: how much you get Joe: more than you got by the sounds of Ronnie: touchy Ronnie: missed you too cunt Joe: right Joe: believe that when i see it baby Ronnie: you want a show, yeah? Ronnie: Must be bored Ronnie: Shoulda joined us. You'd have been about it I reckon. Was good Joe: I am, got a mountain of work to do and no will to do it Joe: Distractions needed Joe: I don't need an 'us' to have a good time Joe: but glad you had fun Ronnie: You know that's what I'm good for, baby Ronnie: take your medicine Ronnie: you'd have had a good time with her Ronnie: Tick another sister off the list like Ronnie: she's a better fuck than I reckoned she'd be Joe: No arguments here Joe: bring a lighter I've exhausted all of mine Joe: What are you talking about? Ronnie: Worn 'em out on your skin again you fuck Ronnie: State Ronnie: I'm talkin bout the princess bowing down to fitzy and me Ronnie: hell of a night Joe: Yeah don't know where I'm gonna shoot up now Joe: Oh well, I'll find a way Joe: Bullshit Joe: You're as sick in the head as me Ronnie: Get creative Ronnie: Plenty of veins Ronnie: And she's the sickest of the lot Ronnie: Believe it Joe: Your genius knows no bounds Joe: I don't Joe: Why would she do that? Ronnie: Fuck off Ronnie: Why not? Ronnie: Name a better fuck than yours truly Joe: 'Cos you and Charlie bragging is not a good enough reason to fuck up your life to find out if its unfounded Joe: Nah Ronnie: you want pics pervert Ronnie: it happened and she loved it Joe: No Joe: What the fuck Joe: If it did Joe: why would YOU do that? Ronnie: Why the fuck wouldn't I? Joe: because she's off-limits Joe: for fuck's sake Joe: what's wrong with you? Ronnie: not to me Ronnie: you're such a pussy Ronnie: cry it out Ronnie: how long you got? Joe: yes to you Joe: jesus christ Joe: you're not allowed to do that Joe: and you can forget coming over to mooch off my stash Joe: fuck! Ronnie: who the fuck says? she didn't Ronnie: I can do whatever the fuck I want Ronnie: get with the fucking program, mckenna Ronnie: you dont tell me shit Joe: She's a kid Joe: a fucked up one at that Joe: you wouldn't be happy if someone took advantage of Bronson like that Ronnie: what do you know bout it you doss cunt Ronnie: she ain't been a kid since her grandaddy raped her Ronnie: I've never taken advantage of anything but her student loans Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I was there, I fucking remember, and I've known her longer than you have Joe: You shouldn't have done it and you know it Joe: Dead wrong Joe: Charlie too Ronnie: You knew her Ronnie: you don't know shit now Ronnie: she came to us Ronnie: to get what she needed Joe: And you do? Joe: Don't front like you care about what she needs really Joe: You're full of shit Ronnie: I'm not trying to know her Ronnie: Or pretend to care Ronnie: I could give a fuck Ronnie: It ain't that deep Ronnie: It was one night Joe: For you Joe: My Brother is probably gonna fucking leave her Joe: You just wanted to help her fuck up her life Joe: 'cos you hate 'em all, right? Ronnie: Can't blame her if that's what she wanted Ronnie: well rid of that cunt] Ronnie: i did her a favor, yeah? Ronnie: unexpected bonus Joe: Shut up Joe: You know even less about him Ronnie: like your the expert Ronnie: so full of shit Ronnie: when did you last talk to him Ronnie: you hate him as much as i do Joe: Doesn't matter, I have reasons Joe: you don't get to have an opinion Ronnie: I got my own Ronnie: you don't get to tell me what i can and can't have, baby Joe: Well keep 'em to yourself like I do Joe: Yeah I do Joe: your share for starters Ronnie: make me Ronnie: like to see you try Ronnie: if i want it i'll come take it, you're not gonna stop me Joe: wanna bet Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: whatever the fuck you think you're gonna do you won't Ronnie: you don't have the ball like Joe: Try me Joe: but don't, 'cos I don't wanna see you Ronnie: Gonna grow a pair before I get there Ronnie: don't think so Joe: More likely than you growing the fuck up Ronnie: sick burn Ronnie: you've done too many on yourself, nothing left to hurt me Joe: Trust me, I'm holding back all the things I could say to you right now Joe: because that's you, not me Ronnie: do your worst, baby Ronnie: I love it Ronnie: You might like it if you let yourself Ronnie: go on Joe: Exactly why I won't Joe: I want you to suffer Ronnie: Good fucking luck Ronnie: You don't have the power Joe: Just the smack withdrawals like Joe: what a charmed life Ronnie: that'll be why you were begging me to shoot you up Ronnie: forgotten that first time already, yeah? Joe: didn't say I don't suffer Joe: I'm not that much of an idiot Joe: wear it on my sleeve like Joe: you do too but you shouting otherwise now 'cos you know you're wrong Ronnie: I don't need you Ronnie: I got gear before you Ronnie: will after Joe: Yeah but no one to give a shit Joe: sad washed up junkie nobody Ronnie: 'cause you do? Shut the fuck up, mckenna Ronnie: plenty of other warm bodies, Bea for one Joe: You know I do Joe: Bullshit all you want, can't change it Ronnie: Don't be pathetic Ronnie: I can match you damage for damage Ronnie: So what? Ronnie: You're not that good of a fuck even Joe: Yeah well if I could change it as well, I would Joe: didn't say otherwise Joe: You're the last person I'd wanna give a shit about for obvious reasons Ronnie: Kill the feeling Ronnie: bored and boring Ronnie: chatting this much shit like Joe: go fuck Charlie then Ronnie: gotta let him recover Ronnie: only fair Joe: considerate Joe: least you care about someone Ronnie: don't be jealous it doesn't suit ya Joe: not jealous Joe: impressed you can be vaguely human Joe: well done you Ronnie: you're well easily impressed Ronnie: never over it Joe: luckily for you Joe: don't take it for granted Ronnie: don't flatter yourself that anything I do is for you Joe: whatever you say baby Ronnie: that it? Ronnie: anything else you wanna come crying to me about like Joe: trust, that's not the kind of sympathy anyone is coming to you for Joe: don't flatter yourself Ronnie: says you but you're still trying it Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I came here to get fucked but you know Joe: you're worn out already so it's chill Ronnie: nah you're fucked up thinking you've been fucked over when it ain't about you Ronnie: I've got energy for days Joe: everything's always about you Joe: understood Joe: i'm not going to not stick up for Bea, say what you like about it and me Ronnie: calm your tits Ronnie: I wasn't putting her down Ronnie: no need to play the hero Joe: Yeah you were Joe: dragging her down Joe: why do you even let her hang around with you in the first place Ronnie: not taken her anywhere she didn't wanna go Ronnie: why the fuck do you care? Joe: because i care about her, obviously Joe: and the rest of my family Joe: that gets fucked over if she goes off the rails Joe: you don't like her so just leave her alone Joe: its not hard Ronnie: I'm begging nobody to come around Ronnie: take it up with her Ronnie: if you care that badly Joe: well don't let her Joe: jesus would that be such a difficult thing to do Ronnie: why do I want the grieve Ronnie: for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: if she's got the cash or the gear she's coming in Joe: like its any grief for you to be a bitch Joe: i have the cash you don't need to tap her up Ronnie: Maybe she's more fun than you Ronnie: wouldn't be hard Joe: i don't wanna see you Joe: just take the money Joe: what have you got to lose here Ronnie: like i said, pleasure of the princess' company Joe: fuck you Joe: i'll make sure it never happens again myself if she's still out her fucking mind Ronnie: fill your boots Ronnie: love a project, don't ya, mckenna Joe: if you think i was trying to fix you Joe: then you're flattering yourself again Joe: big time Joe: we both know what this is Ronnie: had to find me Ronnie: try and fix it for your ma Ronnie: remind yourself how that worked out before you try that shit with bea Ronnie: you're a joke Joe: Might've started that way Joe: but I'm still here for me Ronnie: more fool you Joe: No arguments Joe: Oh gotta go Joe: Don't message me tonight k Joe: Laters Ronnie: where the fuck are you going? Ronnie: don't ignore me prick Ronnie: say something or I'm coming over Joe: Becky wants me to go out with her and her friends Joe: going to an exhibition so I can't have my phone buzzing that's all Ronnie: forget that slut Ronnie: she's even more boring than you Joe: I think the latter cancels out the former there then Joe: Some of her friends are alright, dunno, might be fun Ronnie: Shut the fuck up, mckenna Ronnie: we've got plans Joe: Who have I been having this conversation with since then? Joe: I told you no Ronnie: And I told you ya can't stop me Ronnie: stop whining fucking hell Ronnie: I'm on my way Joe: Neither me or the drugs will be here so don't bother Joe: you think I'm that dumb Ronnie: you think I won't kick your door in again Ronnie: try me Joe: Why bother? I'm telling you, nothing to find alright Joe: I'll slip you a key, save the door like Ronnie: you and some skank Joe: What, you get to be jealous now? Ronnie: I can be whatever the fuck I want Joe: You've been telling me all about your threesome Joe: all night Joe: you're crazy Ronnie: and you've been telling me you love me Ronnie: a soft lad like you fall for whoever you put your dick in Joe: You've got me wrong there Joe: I do love you but not them Joe: I have needs too though Ronnie: I told you I was on my way Ronnie: Wait for me and stop being a pussy Joe: its not just tonight though Joe: never know where we are Joe: you got other people, i can too Ronnie: Fuck off Ronnie: I'm about. You know where I am Ronnie: I can't be waiting around at yours with my legs open Joe: Yeah now you are Joe: but tomorrow you'll be telling me to fuck off Joe: Not asking you to but that's what it is Ronnie: So what you want me to wake you with a fucking kiss now like? Ronnie: I can't be running around holding you hand, you get that Joe: Obviously not Joe: So why are you mad? That's what I don't get Ronnie: 'Cause you're full of shit Ronnie: That is what you want Ronnie: And some other bitch is gonna give it to you Joe: So what if it was? You don't wanna do it so its none of your business is it Joe: but it isn't, a little normality every once and a while is nice but I'd never be able to keep it up so I'm not trying to Ronnie: You brought me here, you don't get to throw me away Joe: I'm not Joe: That's not what I'm doing Ronnie: You're leaving me out in the cold to go to some art gallery or whatever the fuck Ronnie: Lying prick Joe: Because you've fucked me off today Joe: that's all Joe: I piss you off all the time Ronnie: I hate you Joe: No you don't Ronnie: Fuck you Joe: See you later, yeah? Ronnie: Will you fuck Ronnie: I'd rather suck your brother's dick than be anywhere near you Joe: Why not get the full set Joe: Good luck with that one Ronnie: Why the fuck not Ronnie: Not getting what I need from you Joe: not tonight you're not Joe: you'll survive Ronnie: Like you give a shit either way Ronnie: Get the fuck out and take your limp dick to the gallery Joe: Don't put that on me Joe: I do care and I know you're fine Joe: You only have to ask and I give you what you need Ronnie: You're full of shit Ronnie: You know I'm not fine Ronnie: you're still going Joe: You aren't rattling is what I mean Joe: if you're serious I'll drop yours off on the way Joe: Will that make you happy? Ronnie: piss off, joe Joe: is that a yes or a no Joe: what do you want Ronnie: Go away Ronnie: if i see you i'll kick the shit out of you Joe: Okay if that's what you want Ronnie: I want you to stop micro managing me you fucking cunt Ronnie: like Ronnie's had her fix job done Joe: I don't mean it to sound like that Joe: I'm just trying to help Joe: to give you what you need Joe: I'm sorry, yeah? Ronnie: Your help is a kick in the teeth, mckenna Ronnie: If I'm not rattling you couldn't give a shit Ronnie: Fuck your pity parties Joe: That's bullshit Joe: I've got as much of a saviour's complex as I do a hero's alright Joe: You know why I'm still here, I've told you enough times Ronnie: But you aren't fucking here Ronnie: I haven't seen you for ages and you don't wanna see me Joe: I do but Joe: you fucked Bea, Ronnie Joe: then was a total bitch about it, call me what you wanna but yeah, it doesn't make me wanna rush over straight away to hear more Joe: still want you though so yeah, you got me, I'm beyond reproach fucked up Ronnie: What the fuck does that matter, it was fun, that's it Ronnie: I was off my head the 3 of us were Ronnie: I'm not gonna feel bad bout it but you're making it something it ain't Ronnie: It's only sex Joe: It matters because Joe: Never mind Joe: It doesn't matter to you let's leave it there Ronnie: Don't be a pussy Ronnie: Say what you wanna say Joe: Why? For you to take the piss? You're alright Ronnie: 'Cause I wanna know Ronnie: and you wanna tell me Joe: Alright, 'cos if her then why not Fraze or any of the others? Joe: I get that you don't like them and you wanna hurt them but I dunno Joe: Its my fault for thinking you wouldn't go there, 'cos maybe you gave just an inkling of a shit about me Joe: I don't want them involved in us, its meant to be just you and me, not them tainting it or us tainting them, yeah? Ronnie: Fuck's sake Ronnie: not everything I do is about them or you Ronnie: we were fucked up and we did what we did Ronnie: call me full of shit if you wanna believe I masterminded some kind of black sheep vengeance bullshit but it ain't Ronnie: if I was looking to fuck up your precious family I'd just tell them about us Ronnie: Bea used Charlie and me to get him to leave her 'cause she can't hack it anymore Ronnie: she's fucked up. You don't wanna hear it but she is Joe: Being fucked up still isn't an excuse though Ronnie: I'm not making one. I don't need to, I didn't do anything wrong Joe: Alright Joe: it still hurt regardless so Joe: I'll catch you later Ronnie: Don't go Joe: Ronnie don't Ronnie: don't fucking go Ronnie: I can take the pain away, yeah? Joe: I wish you could Joe: the smack barely touches it some days Ronnie: I'll get more Ronnie: the good shit Ronnie: Be there til it works Joe: I've got to try and get them to leave without me then Joe: got any good excuses? Ronnie: I'm dead Ronnie: You've gotta mourn for the next 40 years Joe: Not funny Joe: but might work Ronnie: Believable that you'd find me rotting in the gutter Ronnie: go with it Joe: Shut up Joe: not happening Joe: I'll go with the shits like a normal human Joe: off-putting enough Ronnie: has she seen trainspotting? Ronnie: arrange a viewing Joe: Surely she has Joe: Probably read it too, pretentious students after-all Ronnie: and you were gonna spend your tonight with these cunts over me Ronnie: priorities, mckenna Joe: you drove me to it woman Joe: i wasn't pretending it wasn't gonna be painful Ronnie: you love the pain, you twat Joe: Looks like it Ronnie: let me know when the coast's clear Ronnie: I'm only a couple of streets away like but in no mood to chat with your normie mates Joe: aww whaddya mean you don't wanna come and claim me and scare them off? Joe: rude but there ya have it Joe: i'm not the only one 'breaking hearts' tonight, Becky is devastated, like Ronnie: I'd love it Ronnie: But you've gotten pissy enough already Ronnie: Not worth you being a cry baby all night Ronnie: You've never broken a heart in your life, mckenna Ronnie: other than her own the fuck has she either Joe: I dunno, reckon it was true love with my high school gf, and where is she now Joe: also, i was a pretty cute kid, i'll have you know Ronnie: Shut the fuck up Ronnie: I'll find her and kick her teeth in too like Joe: Poor girl, she's definitely not invested enough to deserve that beatdown Joe: Its been 2 years, little late to the punch baby Ronnie: True love or uninvested, which is it you lying bastard Joe: I was joking, there's no way she's not over it by now like Joe: even if she was a little highkey Ronnie: Cover your arse now I'm about to deck ya Ronnie: yeah yeah Ronnie: They fucked off now? Joe: you can stalk her socials if it'll make you feel better Joe: probably engaged or got kids idk Joe: yeah, now putting their coats on Ronnie: I'm outside testing the lighter you wanted Ronnie: Be in when they ain't Joe: want me to come out and join you or we skipping right to main course Ronnie: go for it Ronnie: freezing like but not gonna care for long Joe: i'll bring my coat Ronnie: Pussy Joe: for you moron Joe: gentleman Ronnie: clearly a save Ronnie: I see ya Joe: i see you shivering like Joe: no need to thank me Ronnie: Unlucky, I had some ace ideas for how I was gonna Joe: Damn Joe: Can't catch a break Joe: You defs owe me for the gear still, yeah? Ronnie: Gentleman my arse Joe: You caught me Joe: but you gave me a lot in this conversation I've gotta prove wrong Joe: so its really your fault Ronnie: whatever you say, baby Joe: S'whatever shit YOU been saying Joe: but I'm ready Ronnie: I'll keep my mouth shut til you want it open like Joe: Yeah, you're no lady either Ronnie: thank christ Joe: Join you on that one Joe: Amen Ronnie: Join me out here Ronnie: Any slower you could say you're dead Joe: Feeding the cat Joe: not the only girl in my life Ronnie: Don't tell Charlie bout all the pussy jokes I coulda made and didn't Ronnie: not trying to piss anyone else off Joe: Secret's safe with me Joe: I'm sure he'll find another way to be dramatic Ronnie: you and him both Joe: Oi Joe: I'm not as bad as Charlie, you take that back Ronnie: no take backs Ronnie: who the fuck is though like Joe: aw, you love him really thought Ronnie: take that back Ronnie: soft lad Joe: can't Joe: i don't make the rules but you enforce them hard Joe: alright, if a guy comes and asks for a light, its me Joe: so be nice Ronnie: who the fuck is friendlier Joe: if you want me quicker you won't ask me to make that list Ronnie: fucking fine Ronnie: only 'cause I do want you now Ronnie: you're still wrong Joe: Coming