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la-fille-en-aiguilles · 5 years

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The Beautiful & Damned (5/7)

Female Reader x Young!Remus Lupin | Female Reader x Young!Sirius Black

Chapter 5: Marauders to the Rescue

A/N: I love Sirius Orion Black so goddamn much. I just re-read what I wrote (adding stuff here and there) and that’s when the thought hit me. I want one in my life, why can’t I have one?...

Jokes aside, I appreciate your likes and your asks to be in this story’s taglist so much! Thank you for indulging in my story and supporting my humble vision of what Marauders are like. I hope you enjoy!

New to the series? - Accio Chapter 1: The Golden Couple - Accio Chapter 2: No, Definitely - Accio Chapter 3: Misread - Accio Chapter 4: Bravado Falls

Fear was bringing out the worst in him, Remus knew as much. How did he even secure a place in the Gryffindor house, for Godric’s sake? Where was that much-vaunted bravery he was supposed to be the poster boy for?

The entire situation had clearly blown out of proportion. Because of how afraid he was to face pity and rejection, he was losing the people that cared for him, loved him despite of his furry little problem. He acted like a hormonal teenager (which he still kind of was, he tried to justify himself) and like a hands-down, the most disgusting twisted little git last night in the Common Room. This needed to stop, before he lost everything he had under the sun.

Easier said than done: pacing back and forth in his favorite spot in the library, Remus was getting ready to show some serious Gryffindor balls and come clean before his friends, hoping that they’d take him back in spite of all the shit he’d done and said.

Working up the courage to go talk to you, however, was another ballgame entirely, and he was still terrified he was going to strike out.

“You are going to tread a hole through those floors if you keep this up,” a poignant comment made Remus stop in his tracks. Looking up, he saw Sirius leaning against one of the bookshelves, hands crossed on his chest.

“Sirius…” he started, not really knowing what to say. He needed more time. “I’m…”

“Sorry?” Padfoot cut in pitilessly, “I, too, am sorry, Moony, but I’m afraid that this kind of apology simply won’t cut it for me”.

“Okay, chill out, Pads”, it’s only now that Remus noticed Prongs standing on the other side of the corridor in between the bookshelves. He approached Sirius and slung an arm over his. shoulder. Potter’s smile reassured Remus, giving him a much needed glimmer of hope that not all was lost. “Let’s get to the bottom of this crappy situation we have at hand, shall we?”

Peter, barely noticeable two minutes ago behind James’ broad frame, shook his head energetically.

“I really miss you, Remus,” he added in a small voice. “We all do,” he gave Sirius a chastising look, but Padfoot chose to ignore it.

Remus held their gazes for a moment, and finally spoke:

“I was an idiot,” he stated simply. “And I am very, very sorry”.

Both James and Peter were already smiling at him; Sirius, however, wasn’t as quick to forgive and forget.

“I want to know what exactly you are sorry for, Moony,” the latter claimed, his stubbornness unwavering. “To make sure that we are all on the same page”.

Moony sighed, backing down and leaning on one of the wide window sills of the library hall.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distancing myself from you and avoiding you,” instinctively, Remus crossed his hands on his chest, sort of mirroring Sirius’ pose. “I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you what was wrong instead of letting my shit get the best of me. I acted like a twat”, Remus admitted, looking his friends straight in the eyes. “Won’t happen again.”

“Sounds good to me,” James was impatient to be able to talk to one of his best friends again like always. Still smiling, Potter opened his arms to welcome Remus back.

“Not so fast,” Moony could swear Padfoot sounded so much like his brother Regulus right now. Or someone worse. “Is that all? Nothing you want to add?”

Remus looked at his friend questioningly, trying to spot some kind of a hint in his stare. Sirius all but rolled his eyes at the young werewolf.

“Not to sound like a broken record, but come on, Moony, don’t play stupid,” Padfoot’s expression remained serious. “You’re smarter than that”.

Remus bit the inside of his cheek - the habit he seemed to have picked up not so long ago.

“Fine!” he let out in exasperated fashion, not breaking the eye contact with Sirius. “It’s true. I’ve learned to hate you, Sirius. I wanted to chop your head off this entire time and give it to blasted Pixies to kick around! I also wanted to feed you to a dragon, or hex you, an innumerable amount of times might I add, especially when…”

“Especially when you saw me with Y/N”, Padfoot finished for him before throwing his head back and laughing heartily. “Moony, I can’t believe how daft you’ve been this entire time. Real slow on the uptake.”

Remus gave him a confused look, truly not comprehending the meaning behind his words.

“We don’t care that you’re a werewolf, I thought we made it clear when we learned the truth,” Sirius continued. James nodded at his words, followed by Peter. “We love you like a brother, and we will always be here to call you on your bullshit, which is exactly what we are doing right now. You need to put your insecurities behind you. Your furry side is what makes you - you, and we love you as you are. I just want to make one more thing clear,” he narrowed his thunderous eyes at the werewolf. “I’d better not see Y/N ever again in all sorts of states because of what you thought she did, and why you thought she did it. You are my brother and best friend, Moony, but Y/N is my best girl. I care about her, because she’s as much a part of the family I’m building for myself as you are. She is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and she deserves the world. So do you,” Sirius paused for a moment, as if thinking twice about what he was going to say next. “I’ll proper kick your ass if you fuck this up, Moony, I swear,” Padfoot clenched both of his hands into fists for a millisecond - enough time for the Marauders to notice. Sirius chomped down on his bottom lip, studying Moony scrupulously, hoping that the warning didn’t fall on deaf ears.

Realization was slowly dawning on Remus. One emotion crept into his features after another, like objects on a slowly developing Polaroid picture.

The fact that Padfoot loved you wasn’t what startled him - just like many other Hogwarts’ students, he heard the stories, exceedingly detailed, too. 90 percent of them were lies, of course, but Remus had seen the way Pads looked at you, the way he was with you. So no, he wasn’t at all astonished to learn that Sirius Black, Hogwarts’ most notorious bad boy and ladykiller and his best friend, held you very dear.

What caught him completely off his balance, knocking the air out of his lungs, however, was the feeling that the fierceness with which Sirius loved you wasn’t quite reciprocal. When Remus looked at Sirius now he saw an aura of vulnerability, hiding behind the whole protective best friend facade. For what it was worth, Moony truly believed that Padfoot wanted more than forehead kisses, but you didn’t seem to oblige.

Could it be?…

Sirius, with his vivid personality, all his swagger and all his bold handsomeness… You must have been insane not to want him back!…

This couldn’t be true. Magnificent wizards like Sirius and you were genetically programmed to meet, have beautiful babies and make the world a delightful place! He couldn’t dare to think otherwise, it was so obvious, common fucking sense!

Is it though? - small, smirking voice hemmed in his head. Remus forced himself to think back to the good old days, recalling your image in his mind. The way you’d smile at him as you’d always get out of your way to seat next to him and to steal his food. The way you’d always wonder if he was going to be at that particular Hogsmeade outing, this party, or that Quidditch game. The way you’d laugh at his stupid puns that weren’t even all that funny, brushing you delicate fingers through his messy mane of hair… The way you tried so hard to tell him something after you two kissed, begging for him to listen!

“Bloody boggart!”, Remus groaned, facepalming at himself. That’s right, he thought, Lupin, your whole circus of a life is a bloody facepalm sequence. “I really am a fucking coward!…I need to see her.”

Remus jumped up on his feet, a determined, wolfish kind of fire burning in his irises, licking his pupils. Two more seconds and he’d be out of the library, when James caught him by the wrist, grinning wide.

“Wait up a sec, Moony,” he said, his bright eyes shimmering. “You know what happens now,” Potter’s smile slowly transformed into a smirk as he threw his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs:

“Group hug!...”

“Yeah!” Peter exclaimed, crushing his tiny frame into Remus’ side so unexpectedly hard, he knocked all the air from his lungs. James chuckled before caging Remus in a bone-crushing embrace, making Moony groan in pain. Sirius was the last one to join the gathering, and being a huge pain the ass that he was, he made sure to squeeze as tight as he could.

“Mr. Potter!…” Madame Pince appeared in the corridor like a cackling hen, her bonnet sliding on her eyes from running. “Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew!… Mr. Lupin!” a pang of honest-to-Merlin disappointment was ringing in her voice. “I feel like I need to remind you that this is a library, a sacred sanctum of knowledge and enlightenment! Silence and concentration are primordial as you enter these walls! Should you want to display public affection in such a brutish way, or any sort of boorish behaviour, I shall need to escort you four to the exit!”

“No need, Madame Pince”, Remus said politely, but impatiently. “We were about to leave anyway”, he added before exchanging a knowing glance with the Marauders and speeding out of the sacred sanctum as fast as his feet would take him.

“Use protection!” was the last of boorish behaviour Remus had seen from James before shutting the door behind him with a deafening clutter.

“Mr. Potter!!!…”

To be continued...

My Beautiful Taglist (please, hit me up should you want to be tagged or untagged): @yuukiahim, @xapham, @spunkypatterns, @jackie-houston, @justducky0423, @zakthedrak, @marauder–harder, @davros2004, @firefurr, @heyjess-marie, @kapolisradomthoughts

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thegeminisage · 5 years

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okay i’ve had a good cry and a couple of hours to Process so here’s how i feel about the ending of merlin. spoiler cut i guess for the three people who still don’t know what happens

i still think that destiny shit is stupid. i think it’s a bad and lazy plot device contrived simply to explain away all plot problems

i still also think the tone shift went way too far. this show had a farting troll in it and then suddenly it does THIS? believe me i did love a BIT more seriousness but i did not expect an unhappy ending, i don’t think anyone who began watching during s1 could have expected that to happen. it feels cheap, like they tricked me

i’m also anti character death, especially pointless character deaths. every so often i do agree with one but they’re few and far between. la noire, fullmetal alchemist, mirror’s edge all had character deaths i was OK with - if it’s for a purpose and it MEANS something then i’m not entirely unreasonable about it

gwaine’s death, for example,was entirely pointless, and held no meaning or satisfaction. same for morgana’s. same for elyan’s if we want to rewind a little

...............i have very mixed feelings about arthur’s.

it was like, technically really well done. he spent the ENTIRE episode dying, which i was not expecting. he and merlin got that WHOLE TIME to hash it out. it wasn’t enough time by far, there should have been an entire season, but it was so much more than i was expecting. the struggle to get him some help, the FEELINGS they both had, everything was very organic and real (too real...) and they kind of knocked it out of the park in that respect

technically speaking as far as magic reveals go it was very clever to have arthur injured during it because then he was forced to stop and listen and observe instead of just acting rashly. i’m dead ass writing a fanfic with that premise that i have to take another long look at now because i don’t want to rip off canon. like, i agree with that choice. there are only a few other ways i think that would be just as good

that said, i think arthur died for no good reason really except someone decided that they needed this tone shift or whatever

they just didn’t have time to wrap up this ending. imagine if we had cut the four episodes of mind-controlled gwen, we could have had time to do anything

morgana died without a hint of compassion or catharsis, we never saw magic returning to albion or literally anything that happened to ANYONE after arthur died - there was absolutely no epilogue whatsoever except a brief speech from the dragon

and speaking of, he should have died too, because it’s stupid that merlin didn’t just CALL HIM FOR A RIDE - so much bullshit had to go wrong for arthur to die it was LITERALLY unbelievable

i think of season 5 in teen wolf - they wanted to make the villain look smart because he was able to infiltrate their friend group and turn them against one another, but the writers couldn’t make it believable, so instead the main cast just all wound up looking like they were being extra stupid for no reason

this is the same feeling i have with season 5 of merlin. merlin and arthur repeatedly make terrible choices in order to bring about the events that lead to arthur’s death but i only really BELIEVE in those choices like 50% of the time at best. it’s like the writers have gone out of their way to really make them both look extra stupid in order to punish them (and their audience by extension), and i don’t understand WHY

why is it that when arthur’s destiny is to die he does but when it’s to restore magic he doesn’t? are we supposed to believe old man merlin (and HOW is this dude immortal) is STILL waiting for arthur to come back and show us diagon alley is real??

GEE, IF WE HAD MORE TIME FOR AN EPILOGUE MAYBE SOME OF THOSE QUESTIONS COULD BE ANSWERED

i just...this started out as such a happy little show...sure, a lot of shows change tone over time, but it’s usually MUCH more gradual than this

if arthur had died to bring magic back as he was destined to do, i would have accepted it. if he had died for LITERALLY REASON AT ALL besides to punish his and merlin’s choices i might have accepted it

there just wasn’t enough time to make it make sense. and yeah some of that was bc they got canceled but like they had an entire season to work with. if they had stopped torturing gwen for five minutes arthur and merlin could have spent that whole season getting to truly know each other for the first time and it might have made arthur want to fight for magic and it made have made his death meaningful

but as it stands it was just...meaningless suffering. there was nothing gained in return. it was not a satisfying ending because we didn’t even get to SEE a real ending for anyone but arthur

it was a very good death, which i guess is what he always wanted. it just.......wasn’t good enough :/

#personal #merlin blogging #im wrung out like a sponge #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #liz makes stuff

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