#might not be accurate to the plot but tbh idc

[eumivrse]

warning(s) pure angst, jjk chapter 120 SPOILERS

arguments with kento are always the worst.

you’ve learned over the years that you’d probably prefer it if he would just scream back when he’s mad rather than being dead silent.

because when he’s angry, he doesn’t speak. he just gives you space to cool off, then he always makes sure to kiss you before you sleep. a way to let you know that tomorrow is a new day and he still loves you the same even if things are heated; that you can always talk it out with him.

you hate it because he always, always apologizes first even if it’s your fault sometimes, but you always appreciated his way of communicating. it’s as if he would rather take the jab every time than have you mad at him.

however, he couldn’t do so that day— october 31, 2018. he had to go to shibuya and left with tension between the two of you. you don’t even remember what exactly you argued about— all you recall was that it ended with you both saying something that could’ve easily passed as unforgivable, words specifically chosen to wound each other’s feelings.

and as per, kento gave you your space and left with you having the last word.

except you never got that good night’s kiss.

when news reached you, you didn’t even react. how could you? the last words you said to him was “then leave already,” with the coldest, meanest tone you’ve ever spoken to him in.

you just stared at the wall for what seemed like days. people were calling you non stop, but your phone was turned off. you hadn’t even left your shared bedroom. the comforter still had his scent on it and you’re afraid that it’ll disappear if you get up for even a minute and then his passing will feel real.

it wasn’t until ino stopped by to drop off his cellphone— one of the only traces he left that night— that you did something else besides laying down. you stared at kento’s scuffed lock screen, sitting at the dim dining room table.

his wallpaper was a photo of you. he took it while you were eating in the very place you’re sitting in right now and you begged him for days to delete it. he insisted that you looked pretty so you let him be. he’d always been like that, so stern with others but he had such a soft spot for you.

you knew his password because it was your anniversary date, then the messaging app opened as soon as you punched the numbers in. it’s your chat, the last conversation you had on there was him asking if you wanted to eat outside because he was free the next morning and you obliged. that was the night before you had an argument the next day and lunch plans were cancelled.

he had an unsent message— all typed out, but he never pressed the send button for some reason.

he was apologizing for hurting you.

he said that he knows it’s been tough for you these days and how he should’ve seen the signs sooner instead of thinking everything’s okay.

then he apologized again for not being able to kiss you goodnight, and for being a shitty husband that couldn’t tend to his wife’s needs.

the message concluded with “i miss you, my precious girl. make sure to eat and sleep well, i’ll make it up to you soon.”

kento’s death hadn’t hit your reality until those words on the screen registered in your mind. your dry, pale lips from barely drinking water trembled, eyes welled up in tears for the first time since you found out. so many different emotions crashed over you in such little time, your chest felt tight and you let go of his phone, clattering onto the wooden table.

“then leave already,” replayed in your mind over and over and the way his face turned pale from your harsh words. with how things turned out, it almost sounded like you were sending him on death’s row and it made you feel like you’re responsible somehow.

guilt loomed over you like a stormy cloud for making him feel like he wasn’t good enough for you and you wonder how different the future might’ve turned out if you’ve at least gave him a hug before he left.

if you could’ve just set your pride aside and kissed him goodbye like he does with you before you sleep.

and if he still loved you the same at his final moments.

#yikes #why am i feeling guilty lolol #mentally preparing myself when it gets animated #might not be accurate to the plot but tbh idc #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk angst #nanami angst #kento nanami #nanami kento angst

[vanityloves]

the holidays right around the corner and with that i will be passing away

#hmm medic was raised in a jewish household so he might celebrate hanukkah 😌 ! #idk what the fuck a satanist does during christmas but murdoc 100% has a hail santa sweater and thats all that matters #i read that decorating 'Christmas trees' is actually a pagan thing n not very 'Christian like' so. go figure. #idk how accurate that is but hm. #xmas is so commercial it probably means nothing tbh Ajsjdj idk though in sure it depends on the person #n e ways murdoc has never has a 'christmas' ever so thats fucking... when my brain is at #he said idc. but acts like a grinch anyways. we know king go off #brainworm ivy #idk but im just rambling #gorillaz rambles #tf2 rambles #hnng . chef doesn't do that stuff. theyll celebrate whatever with the team but theyre more of a 'new years' person #but yes ❤ my fav hc is that medic n chef spend the holidays together when the team goes back home or whatever they wanna do #whoever stays on base is free to join but theyre just boozin it up and chef almost dies every year 😌❤ girl help you have an alcohol allergy #im constantly reworking jude bc i legitimately have 2 or 3 separate plots in my brain rn JSHDJ #they wouldve spent christmas with their family until they like. moved ig #jude doesnt really have Money. brokeboy style. but theyd probably get murdoc some random record that 'looked like somethin hed like' #by the cover art and song titles alone JSJDJ #jude: idk music thats your thing #murdoc: its trash but. nice. *keeps it ANYWAYS n bites hannibal if he Looks At It* #If you even fucking look at the Record I will stomp you to death with my hooves. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. #I want you to do it so I can stomp you with my hooves I’m so fucking crazy. #ch/rist/m/as... is both my most feared holiday and favorite holiday #gift giving doesnt do anything for me other than make me feel bad sjdjd and being with family is a hit or miss hsjsj #my headcanons #i guess

[hhemeraa-a]

Shipping info!

answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?: I want to say I don’t have one, because pretty much any muse I ship with, I get overly invested in - especially if we do multi-verse shipping which... I love doing. We don’t just do one verse in my house, we do 80 and we’re going to flesh out each one until we’re talking about what they would be like as cats. 

On the other hand Myles and Vincent ( @corpusdxlicti ) exists and they’re perfect so-

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?: E V E R Y T H I N G.  I’m lying because there’s just stuff I don’t fuckin’ like, but usually, so long as we talk it out/plot it, I’m down for most things so long as they make sense. I won’t change Myles’ entire personality just to ship with someone and I hope my partner would feel the same. Otherwise, come at me. 

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: So long as both muses are 21+, idc. There are age gaps I think are just unreasonable, for example if both muses are human and one is 21 and one is 70, then I’ll be squinting my eyes cause... you know, what’re y’all gonna talk about? College homework while he introduces you to his grandkids, like-- jhksdjghsdg  BUT, there are muses that are thousands of years old trying to mack up on 20-somethings so like I said.  So long as both are of age then it’s chill.  With muses under 21 - I’d only ship within that age group. Like... if ya muse is 16, I would only ship them with other 16 year olds or 17, 18 year olds. Make sense? 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: Yes. I’m big on chemistry and tbh Myles picks who he ships with more often than I have any say in it (much to my dismay), but I’ve said this before and I tend to be selective because it takes a lot to ship with Myles.  Myles is difficult, especially in his default verses. We’re probably going to be doing a lot of plotting and investing a lot of time into the development which is super fun!  Once Myles gets attached, it’s a free for all from there ----- but because of this, when muses leave, he tends to shut down and I really hate that. I don’t like investing time in something if the other person is just gonna dip or not be nearly as invested, you know? 

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?: uhhhhhhhh I struggle with this myself lmao, but if any body part is entering another, I’m probably gonna tag it as nsfw. Maybe nudity, but if it’s just being naked, then idc. Don’t be ashamed of your bodies people. Be ashamed when that dick finds a home.

WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?: ASSUMING WE’RE ONLY TALKING ROMANTIC SHIPS THEN--- Confirmed Ships @corpusdxlicti​ @hassenmarred @etlascivus There were more, but three (yeah THREE) actually deleted this last week so I’m feeling a type of way rn

Unconfirmed / Working Towards @vegasight @witchbcrnt @agentlemagician

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: You don’t have to ask, but if you have an idea that you think would work, tell me. I’m big on chemistry, but I’m always down to plot things out and I get excited know you wanna do a thing or five with me. It might not always work, but I’m positive we’ll find something. Usually pre-established things work best with how Myles’ personality is, so I give you permission to be like “I want our muses to kiss” and I’ll be like “Alright, lets work on it.” 

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?: I really enjoy shipping - this is never limited to romantic shipping. Love, hate, friendships??? FRIENDSHIPS???? FRIENDSHIPS TURNED LOVER??? hngngngnngg fuck me up

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS?: Definitely not ship obsessed, otherwise I wouldn’t have made Myles as fuckin difficult as he is ;;w;;

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: Yes, of course. Though if you want to be in the same verse as another muse, such as Vincent/@corpusdxlicti​ then that’s a single ship. Ya feel?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: Not in a fandom... anymore.  BUT WHEN I WAS... Deimos and Happiness. But also Deimos and Ethos started to grow on me. 

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: Interact with my muses. Talk to me about them, ask for my discord if you like. Send in some asks, maybe? I really enjoy just chatting hypotheticals even if we don’t really act them out!! It is great fun, and allows for development even without having to fully write out a thread. I’m going to leave Nero’s post because all that is accurate. Just interact? Ask questions. If I haven’t come and drooled in your mouth by now, come feel me up in the DMs. I don’t bite.

Tagged by: I forget who Tagging: anyone willing to read all this

#;;meme

[herotheshiro]

hello i’m here to write a post rambling abt my latest hyperfixation and my thoughts abt it now that i feel i might be getting less serotonin from it these days.

so my latest hyperfixation is fe3/h which i will now be shortening to 3h in hopes that it doesn’t show up in any tags and also i’m too lazy to keep slashing it when i mention it. i’m writing this on the hopes of my interest winding down rn, i feel less excited about it these days than at the beginning of the month when i suddenly decided to look it up/look more into its fandom content after feh released the latest 3h banner. i was talking to my sibling abt it bc i had gotten de/due on a free summon or something idr i just got him and i brought up offhandedly that i shipped him with this other unit in 3h bc having been on the internet and fandom-adjacent spaces since 2019 at least means you see 3h content to some degree. which means the context is that i had somehow seen ash/edue on twitter before and thought it was a cute pairing but didn’t really look more into it bc i didn’t really care as i do not own a switch nor will be getting one any time soon (i could watch a playthrough but idc enough. too many routes and intricacies that would be best understood if i just played it myself, ya know).

anyway. latest feh banner and this convo with my sibling means i look up ash/edue again and for some godforsaken reason THIS TIME i’m like ok. time to FUCKING DIVE IN and so i read a bunch of fics and whew-ee ash/edue brainrot time which is hilarious bc i literally know fuck all about the game and had to read through the fandom wiki walkthrough to get all the plot/story points so i could better understand the individual units and also wtf is going on (which you don’t really need to know imo esp if you’re just looking at a ship which only includes ppl from one house but i wanted to know at this point bc i was in deep-dive mode). i like the physical aesthetics and the personality match of ash/edue so i’m not really surprised i was like ALRIGHT HONING IN but man imo not the greatest thing to get into a series through a singular ship. anyway i was hype so i was coming up with ideas for drawings and looking up general 3h content but now it’s coming to the end of the month and i feel like it’s starting to wane ...

i mean i still like ash/edue but i’m just less interested bc i’ll never really play 3h and even though during this month my sibling actually got 3h and is playing through it rn, i just don’t really feel like playing the actual game bc i already know all the plot twists and points so what’s the point. and also bc i was so ash/edue focused for a bit, now i’m like hehehe only ash/edue when i see general non-ship content but like. i think both these units are interesting past their duo dynamic and i’m not particularly like anti other ships with these units nor do i feel mega uncomfortable seeing other non-ash/edue ships (this makes more sense in context with my a/3 ship struggle posts lmao. but also yeah ngl sometimes i see other a/she ships and i’m like eh i’ve read the supports but i don’t see this ship actually happening. although caspa/she on the other hand ... that’s cute) but i’m like i do actually need to sit with these units individually if i want to better get their personalities bc i’m starting to feel kinda bad that maybe my representations of them aren’t wholly accurate to their general personalities. like actually mentally bad, not just like ‘oh... well too bad whatever’ bc i just be getting caught up in making sure fictional characters fit canon even though sometimes fancontent just be ooc and is accepted regardless. tl;dr of that second point, i feel like my brain is too into shipping mode rn re: these two units and i need to split them in order to better understand them. but also that’s a lot of effort bc tbh i don’t particularly care too much abt 3h as a whole ngl or at least these 2 units are prob not really the units i would stan

idk it’s really stemming from me being like ‘oh ho i know the 3h story’ but then being like lol no i don’t when my sibling is discussing the current happenings during her 3h playthrough. i mean she’s playing the v/erdant wi/nd route which tbh of course i know less abt bc in-game ash/edue really focuses more on the BL and BE houses in terms of interactions/drama but i’m just like :( bc i take fictional stuff too seriously for my mental health. i’m not like having BAD mental health abt it but i can sense when shit might be starting to hit the fan so i’m like :(. also i’m starting to side-eye some ash/edue fancontent bc now i’m starting to think a little more critically abt the pairing and tbh their “paired” ending reads weird to me as a poc living in the US (assumption of ded/ue is a poc and as/he is a white guy) ... like it’s not BAD per se, like as/he isn’t really culturally appropriating but also like ... fellow poc in the US, you know how it feels sometimes when some random white person is like ‘i’m opening this ethnic cuisine restaurant bc i respect the culture so much’. i know that’s not necessarily what’s happening in the “paired” ending and as/he isn’t being one of those uppity white ppl who try to “better” the ethnic cuisine but man makes you think. i’ve only read TWO fanfics that explicitly was like ‘man it’s fucked up that a white person has to be this ethnicity’s ambassador huh?’ which makes me a lil sad in retrospect (also the 2nd fic i’m thinking of isn’t even in-game canon, it’s a modern au that talks abt cultural appropriation differently so like is it even the same). anyway i actually haven’t read the paired ending text in a while so maybe i’m remembering it wrong but i’ve personally changed it up a little in my headcanon so that the inn is just a general inn that as/he just so happens to serve some du/scar dishes at to normalize their inclusion into f/odlan culture. anyway this convo about 3h’s treatment of poc is a whole other story and discussion lol, my sibling and i were discussing it last night so that’s why i’m bringing it up

#rant #fandom