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o7ksy2lxbbu · 1 year

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kokoronbain · 4 years

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Soooo I was trying to draw some cat humanoids (hello Beerus & Nyanta).

And I was finally in mood to draw my Paloma in the cat version

Since I have no idea how to draw animals, I was based on photos I found on internet and inspired from Polterkitty for the LM3 style, obviously.

I am certainly the only dumbass to do that but yeah I decided to make Paloma as black cat because what I love from these cats is in the cartoons we only see their eyes. And so in Paloma's case, we also see her wings!!

It's a good contrast actually since black cats are considered as evil, related to witches, having bad luck and some dumb shit like that.

I am here to prove the contrary: stop with these stupid superstitions!! Black cats can be little angels like ALL other cats in ALL colors, go adopt them and respect them dammit! >:(

Anyway

I also made the fell and horror version into cats too! :3

Yep, instead of a simple cat, we have here a black panther. ~

It's actually pretty hard to find a good model for drawing panther 😭 I didn't find a good pose for drawing her the head to paws....

And now coming back to a classic cat, the difference here is this one has a body longer and a little taller, based on a siamese cat (the BEST) and of course there is wings in fur.

Actually when you check on internet 'Winged cats', there is REAL cats who have wings in fur. It's some kind a misgrowth I guess... In all cases, that gives me ideas for my cat version ~

Yep, I may publish backstories and facts on them... If I have the mood again to draw cats lol ;u;

Hope you like my art!

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jakeywakey1996-blog · 5 years

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The selfless mirror of C-PTSD

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Personally, I prefer Developmental Trauma Disorder. But instead of actually calling it a disorder, one might say it’s a misgrowth or a brain damage. I utilize different words for different purposes. C-PTSD is easier to say, because at least people know about PTSD. DTD is good at pin-pointing the fact that there was something that severely impeded the development of the brain. Calling it a misgrowth is very practical to highlight that it in fact is not a disorder in the traditional sense, it’s the brain reacting as it should to extremely stressful circumstances. Brain damage? Well, that one’s for impact.

One of the most important, scary and strange ways it has impacted me is the lack of a sense of personal self or identification with non-human objects. This, in turn, affected my empathy so that I would not see certain humans as human. Tons of thalamic* damage. Nothing simply makes sense anymore. But one of the worst things that this did was to hyper-empathize my brain. That is, make my brain simply mirror information that I saw without any type of filter. If I saw something confirming a fear then indeed, I was afraid. No matter how much i actually believed in it. This would fit very well in with the internalization of others belief systems. For, if your whole self-identification mechanisms in your mind is missing, then your fears are surely active. Your fears, then, become what you believe in and your identity, the driving force behind your life.

*Thalamus is the part of the brain responsible for ‘putting together it all’, that is, your experiences from all sense and the activity of your mind into a coherent reality.

This is obviously disastrous for an individual. To be taken from place to place by severe anxiety, all the time. All urges stemming from feelings of fear and personal inadequacy. This in turn is buffered by the fact that I was brought up to seek approval I never got from parents and subsequently and inevitably peers. It never became fulfilling, no matter how much attention and love I got that way. People became “tits to suck on” as per Gabor Maté, who in turn quoted someone else. Everyone became a possible donator of emotional need fulfillment... or a ruthless monster to deprive you of those emotional needs.

It has gotten tons better today and will get better in the future, which I know, because God is with me, and His work with me is not yet done.

*Thalamus is the part of the brain responsible for ‘putting together it all’, that is, your experiences from all sense and the activity of your mind into a coherent reality.

#godsplan #love #selflove #selfcare #cptsd #happiness #thalamus #reality #c-ptsd #cptsdrecovery #redemption

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