#my old friends would have got it though | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatlesbiancrow · 2 years

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HOORAY! MY EARRING COLLECTION!!

i finally organized them! most of them at least...

the ones in the pink box were gifts to me, all the others were made by my own hand!! and other than a hidden pair of black worms on strings, all of he ones in pockets are ones not made by me that i need to get rid of haha.

which is your favorite? i tend to reach for the same ones so maybe this will spark more variety in what i wear!!

#jewelry #homemade earrings #lesbian earrings #i have bright pink hair AND i wear these but somehow men still think i want to date them??#when i made my first ones one of them was the holy bible pair #i thought it was so funny to make bible earrings bc of the whole 'don't modify your body' thing or whatever that's in it #a funny ironic jab #but it actually makes me pretty sad to have them #it was pretty soon after i moved to a new place and it made me realize i was alone again #the new people i met wouldnt have found them funny #my old friends would have got it though #THEY would have got it and found it as funny as i did #but in this new place i was all alone #i cant find it in me to get rid of them because they remind me of my friends #but it hurts to look at it #we've lost touch #and like that happens! but it still hurts #they were so important to me and still are #but going from in person friends who hung out outside of school often #to long distance friends is... hard #and something im really bad at #i miss them

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 30 days

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"It's just you now. Take care of mother."

i have the normal amount of emotions about them (lying) <3

#a redraw but also not really cus i ended up tracing a lot from the old one hfldsjdfs #it was only supposed to be for reference but i ended up keep messing w it instead of redrawing it proper......#feel like i got his expression down better in the old one; looks more strained/ hearbroken like i feel #but thats fine #my art #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #i'm still not sure if liam or varric is the one who deals the killing blow #love both the thought of liam having his own sisters blood on his hands and never being able to wash it off fully #or his (future) best friend saving him that fate but now having that stand between them #cus liam would be grateful for it but part of him would always remember that and hold it against him #(both options also make the bartrand encounter crunchy in slightly different ways)#either way in that moment he kind of hates varric for even just being there. and fenris too #(though tbh im not sure how realistic it would be for him to take sb else except bethy and varric down into the deep roads)#((so maybe in canon fen wouldnt be there idk. havent decided this yet either))#logically he knows its not fair ofc but it just feels like an invasion of privacy. it feels Wrong.#they have no place in this they shouldnt have been there they shouldnt have been part of it they shouldnt have seen him like this #but its sth that binds them too #the rest of the trek is miserable and awkward for all of them in any case #but yeah.#idk if they would be able to bury her down here properly so maybe they end up doing it via lava?#theyre not leaving her body out in the open to rot and/or become food for darkspawn or spiders thats for sure

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definitelynotnia · 1 month

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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months

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Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!

#cats #also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many #beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my #computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him #and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and #perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted #their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately #was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few #treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/#They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh #I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder??#Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it #But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures #I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc.#They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them #elderly boys.!!!!#I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that #feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead #but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days

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mildmayfoxe · 8 months

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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro

#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT #account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze #from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND #now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits #so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it #by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine #and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer #and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good #genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah #just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow #ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me

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void-botanist · 4 months

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Sheri: A Powerpoint Intro

It is here! A tiny bit of background: Sheri is sort of a companion to Triad, in the sense that it shows some of what happened to the other ex-heir to the Navaren throne, but it takes place after it (by at least 3 months). Also maybe someday I'll come up with a better title for it.

Anyway please enjoy this introduction to fantasy disaster gays.

#believe it or not Niran is an OLD old canon character who I just never did anything of substance with #he was Seriito's 'commoner' friend. because when I was like 10 I thought it was important that the royals had commoner friends #I'm glad to be doing something interesting with him. he is THRIVING in this college environment #I think Niran and Aza would get along really well. they're both animals people #also. 'seducing Gannet' is shorthand for 'Sheri got on fantasy grindr found Gannet and explained they had no more classes together'#'and Gannet accepted this as a fuckportunity'#I also decided on the name Gannet because you will take Negleeglo from my cold dead hands but it's unwieldy #however now I have a basic process for how their language forms nicknames which is awesome #and Gannet is a cool name #and yes. sheri asks kirnus personal questions. this is truly what the 'mega hate' section is for: bad things that are gonna happen #this was what was funniest: sheri panicking about never having hooked up with a trans guy because he wants to Be Good At It #as though asking your sister's trans partner is a way to Know How To Do This #anyway. I'm so excited about this #idk when I'm gonna write it but boy am I gonna rotate it #wip: sheri #powerpoint #rose brambles #undescribed

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lonely--seeker · 9 hours

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I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.

I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.

#to be fair. in my dream i was back at my old house. so the horrors where there still #also i've been dreaming about my dog. but sometimes it's not him. it's other dog trying to replace him. but it's not him. i miss him dearly #but it's... weird. i never actually dream with characters either. something strange is going on #I've been telling my brother i wake up and i have to remember who i am #for the totally normal dreams. it's like my soul is divided and it's living somewhere else for the night #who is the person i am when i dream. because it's not me. it's a whole different live. whole different people around me. I'm going insane #there's such a strange feeling about it. it's familiar? it's comfortable?#which only makes it even more weird. why is a life so different to mine feel so comfortable...#to the point i wake up and i don't remember who i am for at least ten minutes #but then i forget what i had dreamt about. and then i go around my day randomly reminding things. then that's when i realize those memories #were actual dreams #i should write a fanfic about this lmao #it was a nice dream though. i remember vividly i was sitting in one of those chairs thingies that hang in the air?#and i was swinging happily. i think Laios was talking about where he got whatever the fuck he was cooking. i couldn't understand him really.#he wasn't speaking in spanish but it wasn't english either. i think it was a made up gibberish... I'm still baffled by how comfortable i was #i think there were friends around too. maybe a hangout was going on? everything was nice. it reminds me of the times #i would go eat at a friend's house. but things felt a lot nicer. it was like if time had stopped and nothing wrong could ever happen.#and even then. i was still there. which i think that's why i started to feel dizzy in my little swing. i ended up waking up from that.#i still get dizzy remembering it.#welp. I hope i don't lose myself tonight...#I don't actually know what's worse. the nightmares are common. they are familiar. there's comfort in knowing what to expect.#but “good” dreams like that... i end up thinking about them too much. the residual feeling is weirder #and i have to deal with the whole different layer that is.. there's was a fucking anime guy there. kill me. kill me. get him OUT of my brain #I'm not lying when I say I can physically feel Laios rearranging my brain in ways i will not share publicly #kill me.

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steelycunt · 9 months

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driving up 2 my uni city on friday n moving into my new uni room in my new house...cant wait 2 decorate it i have such a plan i have posters i am so so excited.... : ^ )

#havent seen my room yet in person!! i couldnt make it 2 the viewing and well since our backup plan was 2 live in a seven person #tent on the downs because housing was so hard 2 come by...i did then go to visit the house on another day and though the girls who let #us look around were very very lovely to do so they DID misinform regarding the fact that there was no one else in the house but them #so when my friend tried to have a look in what would be my room she accidentally walked in on a bloke in bed xx ANYWAY ive seen #pictures and videos its going to be so cute its got a slant roof a little loft room...goign 2 have a double bed for thee first time in my #life...ive got so many things to put on the walls...i want to get candles wasnt allowed candles in the old room....might even get #one of those little trolleys those trolley shelved things? for a bookshelf #or plants perhaps...its going to be the best room ever i think personally considering what i had to work with last year i did very well and #this room is far cuter...yay....#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again

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ds2mtoi · 1 month

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a serious post about my experience with amin/khennya.

hi, this is a serious post. but it'll be quick since everything is explained in this twitter thread and the attached google document. (and i don't really wanna keep talking about this anymore, i wanna move on and heal.)

long story short/tldr: amin is a freak who manipulated and abused me, made me fear for my life ever since i was 15 years old. he was 18. he is going to be 20 yrs old this year, and yet he still hasn't changed. he will never change. he is an incredibly dangerous person who will find any possible way to remove the blame on him, he will find all sorts of excuses for his disgusting behaviour. he is rotten to the core. please avoid him for your own safety, he is seriously dangerous. i opened up about my story and my experience with him not because i want to stir up drama or whatever absurd reason like that, but because i want other survivors of abuse to gain courage, to be uplifted from me finally speaking up about my story. i want to tell everyone my story, so that nobody will ever have to experience something like this with amin, or with anybody else for that matter. if you have gone through similar things as i did, please do not be afraid to open up. i hope you will find courage, i hope you will have wonderful people who will support you all throughout your life. thank you for your time, i will be inactive for the following months until i'm ready to be back online again.

#i have been really REALLY mentally exhausted #so exhausted i forgot to talk about this on tumblr LOL #i have been dreading about this moment for over 1 year and a few months #i feared that it would've went wrong.. and everybody would hate me. but i'm glad that my anxiety got proven wrong.#i'm really happy seeing so many people supporting me.. some others even telling me about their experiences. they're really brave too.#and i've had many old faces send me messages as well #it's nostalgic.. a wonderful feeling. i'm really happy. i really missed talking to my old friends.#even though life has been really chaotic . complete hell and just...overall terrible (especially last year)#i will get through it. i'm strong. i'm strong enough to talk about my story. i can do it. and i have my wonderful friends to support me too #one day..i'll pick my pen back up and be motivated to draw again.#one day i'll be ready to go back to everyone and cherish every moment...being as happy as possible.#i'm so glad to be finally free from his abuse. i can be my own person again... i can be myself. i'm free. i don't have to hide anymore.#thank you again. may you have a good day or night.#thoughtcabinet

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angerygoomba · 3 months

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is it weird that i dont wanna change my pfp—even though ive had countless moments where ive seen something, thought to myself "this would make an amazing pfp" or "i really wanna make this my pfp" and then like seconds later lose the desire as i remember my relationship to my pfp and how everything about my online persona from the past 5 years would change—and im okay with that?