#n that doesnt excuse what he did but it shows that even the most 'evil' ppl have good traits | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thisisamerlinonlyevent · 3 years

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today im thinking about immortal merlin n leon, alive to see camelot fall n kingdoms rise above it, the tragedy, the angst, the grief. i didn’t ship leon n merlin at all until i started to think abt them living through the centuries with only each other. that’s a different kind of intimacy right there. like i can’t rly define their relationship, i wouldn’t call them lovers but definitely not friends. like they’re intimate like lovers but care for each other like ride or die friends n it’s very complicated n surprisingly i think that leon was the one to go “you know what? let’s not label anything. let’s vibe. we care n love each other how we do, if others don’t, well... they’re not us so it’s not like it matters in the end” n merlin’s like “so true king, wanna suck my dick about it later or just gently makeout over the fire about it?” “we’ll see what we feel like doing later :)” “okay cool nice :)”.

IM NOT DONE! now think. something happens alright, there’s a stutter in reality and, for some reason, morgana n mordred come back, albeit very differently. morgana is your classic “i came back n im pissed abt it, and i still hate you even tho there’s no point about it and truly i don’t even mean it, you want me to be honest i don’t know who i really am or why i did anything but im too prideful to admit that out loud so I’ll have a huge mental breakdown over it later”, while mordred is actually broken. doesn’t eat not speak, drinks water only when it’s shoved down his throat, looks on the verge of tears 24/7 n all in all, as much as leon and merlin want to hate him for ruining everything, they have to admit something is so wrong with him they just. let the whole issue be for now.

then merlin has an epiphany after morgana’s like. third mental breakdown n weird character development that smth happened to her before death to make her like this, he does a think for a while, leon does a think with him as well, mordred does nothing but be void of everything, n they come to the conclusion “oh shit morgana was cursed, it was probably that bitch morgause even tho her past was also kinda shitty, still not an excuse, anyways let’s do the whole white (?) goddess thing” that thing they did when merlin turned into a hag for evil gwen. it’s kinda different, since it’s been more than a thousand years since merlin has done that, but they chuck em both there (morgana n mordred, with their consent ofc this is how this works, n yes they just kinda took a nod from mordred as answer enough) and they hoped for the best.

SO post de-cursing ritual shit, morgana n mordred kinda switch roles. mordred remembering everything n being emo about it cause, sue him he’s been dead for centuries he’s lost touch with his emotions. morgana is now in shock (oh how nice haha) so she’s the quiet one just. slowly taking all the shit she did in. leon n merlin are tired but tbh this is the most interesting thing that has happened in a while so they’re not too upset over it. now cue centuries of weird bonding, communication, character n emotional development, found family tropes, some self sacrificing while at the same times forgetting they’re all immortal so they come back always but damn that shit is still traumatizing, n you have another 1000 years alive n kicking in this world (in my personal hcs the show was around the 6th century even if it doesnt make sense theres magic ffs shut up so this would make them be alive during the 26th century whoray).

this is when arthur, the knight, gwen n gaius cause i love him, decide to wake up n chaos ensues (n the reunion is not as sweet as you think, 2000 years have passed and things have changed, for the better or for the worse)

this is entirely self indulgent btw but whenever i think abt these 4 i think abt them like THIS always so. yh i love this chaotic family

#bbc merlin #merlin #bbc merlin au #merlin au #sir leon #Morgana Pendragon #sir mordred #My writing #my post

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honestlyandrogynousnightmare · 3 years

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Why Uther Pendragon was the real villain of the series

Now lemme get this straight before I get attacked, I'm not saying Morgana isnt a villain, I think shes actually similar to him through her tactics and methods of getting where she wants, but this is just me ranting about my hatred for this man.

Now let's start simple and to the point: he is completely and utterly selfish. Just think about the Purge, yes he didnt know that using magic to get an heir would kill his wife, but he did the decide to take his grief out on the entire magical community. He killed thousands of people, most of who were innocent. And I understand grief dont get me wrong....but causing mass genocide because of one personal experience with a particular community of people doesnt excuse it.

I think deep down he might have been a good man, he clearly showed that he did care for his children and thought he was doing the kingdom a favour, but he was blinded by hatred, bitterness and violence.

Throughout the show theres this whole thing of 'does Uther love his son more than he hates magic' and this is really difficult to determine imo. I think that he believed he was doing Arthur a favour and was truly helping him, even if the things he did werent truly good and didnt have good effects on him. I mean all you need to look at is when Arthur went to get the flower to save Merlin, and Uther put him in the dungeons and almost bloody destroyed the flower. It wasnt NECESSARY to do that, he was punishing him by literally condemning Merlin to death, and he thought he was doing the right thing to punish his son for his disobedience, teaching him that its just another servant he shouldnt care for, but in the end it wasnt the good thing to do. With that in mind I'm going to repeat, he did care for his son, he did think he was helping him and that he was a good father, but he couldnt be a good father because he wasnt a good person.

What pisses me off is that Uther wanted to use magic to his advantage when he needed it and it was the only option, but when he wasnt in a state of crisis, it all suddenly became mAGIC IS EVIL. It just makes it worse than him just totally hating magic, because he was still exploiting it.

I dont need to go into the whole thing about him immediately blaming magic for everything do I? Oh yeah the sun is shining, it must be sorcery, let's get a witch finder!

Another thing is that he refused to admit to the circumstances of Arthur's birth, he lied. Now we know why Merlin lied, Arthur wouldn't forgive himself if he killed his father and it was then only way, but he was too much of a coward to admit that he turned to magic when he needed it.

Lets not forget that he killed Gwen's father ok thanks

Oh and he exploits his position as king, hes a posh prick that thinks his life is worth more than everyone else's because hes of noble blood, haha it's fine let's not worry about the servant who saved my sons life twice! Hes just another peasant it doesnt matter that all he needs to survive is a flower, the exact flower I have in my hand LOL LETS CONDEM HIM TO DEATH (I'll never get over this lol)

Hes so obsessed with looking like a stronG king and making sure everyone is terrified of him that he doesnt even realise hes going against his own words, you want peace? Oh of course we want peace! Oh noooo let's start war with other kingdoms to make ourselves look s t r o n g

right rant over, add anything else you hate about him in the comments and have a great day

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zella-starr · 4 years

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Cassandra is its hero: a girl that can see bad news or predict the end of the world- but no one ever listens so its stuck in a perpetual state of existing and emotional terror: zella finally figured out what 12 monkeys is about and it wrote this absurt literal wtf short story that only makes sense to those who look deeply there are some spoilers in #s but if anyone does read it and it doesnt get it kicked the f out then just tell it what you think of the ending - if you understand it at all lol

it prays, to pic related that tumblr has more femine creatures than ones who do not understand metaphors or cannot see between white and black every shade of grey

it presents: The Cassandra Effect don’t read it tho its insanity personified

DO NOT READ THIS YALL!

The Casandra effect short story by something called zella or ezla or something idk it aplogizes for spelling errors but it freaked out and though it lost its masterpiece via saudi princes banning it from twitter

"my name is Casaandea" my name is Casandra - she repeated after the cubes. something about tit felt--different- a sinister evil the cube felt different today But she had learned to not listen to such thoughts- the kind of thing that would tear a weaker specimen to pieces but cas- (arrogance my darling)

Zella01/11/2020 "a horse, of course, my darling" ` as far as Cassie could tell, the cube thought this was amusing- cute even- she smiled- kind of. and but her little black boots on for a flickering moment she wondered what day it was then scoffed- "days" the cube has replaced any need for such distinctions

Zella01/11/2020 the first thing the cube had said to the population of Wintersville upon its gran unveiling via the tribesman, was "every day is exact;u the same,!" like the great Adema themselves said! " stupid vicky, who is no long with us began to correct the cube . "That's Nine Inch Nails haha" but the look the tribesman- the one who was always beside the cube, well i sure wouldn't want to see that peak in the window at night such as on Thursdays when the servants of tribesman would do so- there were strict rules regarding sexual activity it goes without saying that after the great collapse everyone was sterilized- no children period. they were rounded up and shipped off to.. Cassiei always forgets just where but since the tribesman had brought in his spiritual leader Augustness. sexual pleasure had become limited for men- and more so for women. a man without a wife was most scrutinized and often was sent to another sector. One man was caught, welll Cassie was supposed to keep heer mind off of such things as she had been scolded since mistaking the tribesman wife for well not a woman Cassie stopped for a moment and looked around she felt the fear. this means they could to,. but why was the memory so frightful? it was a simple truth he had told her there are men, and there are women Cassies little black boots were almost at the entrance of the factory when her favorite sound on earth came screeching through the air and crashed into her eardrums like the silly old tale of the 2 became 1 buildings nonsense It was Kathy- Cassie's coworker and Nemesis- her voice was always happy-sounding- often at awkward times- but none would beat this "Cracker John Joe got hit my a truck!" "excuse me?" "yep, his head came plum off his neck too!" "what he's.. dead?" "ok well it did not come plum off his head it wad i think about half of it the tire just smashed his head and it crumbled but lots of the crumblings were far away so it was almost his." Cassie had to make sure her stress did not rise- or as the Tribesman called it her Gorita acting amuck " this would require intervention from the cubes she decided to take a peek anyway, despite kathy (what kind of fucking name is that anyway-ok Cassie stop it) and she wa.. well it was actually not such a great idea it was not that they were close,. they did not go to prom together. they did not kiss each other on the cheek after a run-in on the one single street in wintersville. but she did work with him, he was a bubbly guy, thats what the tribesman said of him- and obviously the tribesman had him killed sometimes though she wondered which was in control, him or the cubes- this thought was followed my a very sharp pain and headache that would last for day at a time (this was how the subjects of the satanic mind-control experiment that was wintersville, were trained- imagine a dog being shocked every time it bites someone) It was not the worst one she had felt, no, that was easy to pin point: one day at work- an outsider was brought in. A girl- of 16 or 17 years old. Tribesman had another man with him that day- no one spoke his name- but he decided it would be best for Casandra and the new girl (Cassie called her flower as her name was never known) Flower had an outrageous hick accent- one that cassie would normally have been disgusted by, but flower was different. she had a light shining from her eyes. a softness to her lips and to her touch. one that cassie did not forget later that evening when she was alone., this was before she learned she was never alone when the cubes were anywhere near by. she tried not to remember - because if she remembered she felt It had been several years since Cassies husband dissipated. quite literally in front of her eyes. he was gone. the depression was so great, she hadn't played with herself in - there she goes again- as if there is any such thing as years or months or days or seconds. no past. no future but still, it was worth a little bit of that pain- fuck even at the time the piercing razorblade feeling, starting with her clit up to her eye balls was worth it. She touched herself- quite a bit. she rubbing her clit and moaning- at the previous images of Flower , her soft lips and perky tits- but then Cassie still didn't know that the slicing, the burning pain she could still feel - started the second the man with no name- after his henchmen had kidnapped and beaten Flower - a pain Cassie mistook for pleasure (are they not the same) set flowers body on fire and what little life there was inside of her soon was no more what would cassie have done HAD she known? should we find out? we control this. we control this experiment. would she revolt? haha against whom? what if we ended the experiment early - the knife she just tabbed int the "tribesman" was, in fact, her mother? we are not sure yet. but surely a woman who wears the same black boots every day after being given a new name she is sure she has always had- to go to work where she does n not know what she does. something something. could her infatuation with Flower show us new and exciting ways to break her down? because this will en no other way every controlled subject still must die its one of our favorite tricks- to instill into the psych of the truly helpless- that surely ifshe had suffered THIS much, then there would be no more one day>? I mean that IS how it works is it not? we suffer- then karma picks us up. what do you think fellahs? fuck it. why not. she must be broken- lets break her slower than most- lets take that hope- and stretch it lets create a future for her - one she will only think of, we can build her up give her what she wants for a day- we can bring flower back and kill her again or maybe something new? something not romantic. often the cold hearted clutches onto something- or someone that oppresses others. lets make enemies for her, shadows she can jump when she sees. others. the town is all white? lets increase paranoia of an oncoming slew of blacks or Mexicans. of course we will choose the kindest ones we know, those ho speak Spanish will frighten her the most- we dont let her learn things here. not anything useful yes even greater than the destruction of flower- will be the terror of the others. lets bring in tansgender people. lets legalize gay marriage. lets let others have children but only once she is to old to have them herself but thats not enough- now we needa hero and we all know how this story ends -The end

for real if you made it this far thank you for reading a single word ive ever written its all i want in this world- well not quite but close <3

the worst thing you can do to someone is make them the enemy theyve always hated via some tyrant taking over their minds and souls and spitting out a perverse vile version of them- no point to go to its funeral it died long ago..

#horror #scifi #mind control #mind corruption #mind conditioning #trump #maga2020 #psychos #3 letter demon monsters

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Rambling about my new watchholder oc Mallory

* absolute gremlin child. Eats dirt. Probably more of a monster than most of the yokai.

* at the same time tho, she is like super sunshine friend! She looks kinda gloomy ominous but her personality is actually super bubbly and her biggest priority in life is making new yokai friends and loving them forever. Like, creepy in a wholesome way? She does indeed love horror movies and creepy crawlies and could probably fistfight god, but that doesnt mean she's evil!

* kinda always bored but also easily exciteable? One of her biggest recurring jokes is just ignoring the normal or sane solution to a thing and doing something more fun even if its more difficult or dangerous. Actually i guess its more "fearless" than bored? Or bored of fear, lol. Fearless and doesnt really give a shit about any rules. But again not in a mean way, she doesnt break rules because she wants to piss people off, just like "im not gonna believe this if nobody bothers explaining why its supposed to be so important". But not exactly phrased like that cos that would be rude, lol. So uhh more like just relateable autism feel of not grasping social cues but mixed with a personality thats quite outgoing and uncaring of being judged poorly for not being normal, as opposed to me who's always worried about what people think.

* oh wait thats the word for it!! Free-spirited! Trickster! Like a peter pan type of trickster tho, more than loki. Like just "i am naturally outside the obligations of normalcy" rather than "i am intentionally trying to prank/illusion/manipulate people cos its funny". Or uhh i guess "manic pixie dream girl" but without all the stupid shit that trope has got associated with.

* pretty much just wish fullfillment of "what if i was confident enough to not care what people think and just act like myself no matter what"

* anyway in summary she likes to climb trees n stuff and her reaction to yokai being real is "yay" and her reaction to seeing an undefeatable giant kaiju is to run at it and try and suplex it with her bare hands. She's kind of a badass! Tho lol also her biggest character flaw is her badassness, cos she can be reckless due to the lack of fear. But then also sometimes when everyone is hopeless she really does manage to save the day no matter what, and help inspire everyone else to be brave too!

* though i'm thinking of maybe a character arc where she starts off seeing this as just a fun adventure with no stakes, and it doesnt matter if you take risks cos nobody's gonna get hurt anyway. Like a "this isnt really real, its just my hero's story" sort of thing? When things start getting more dark and she faces things she cant just defeat with simple optimism, it kinda stops being fun anymore. And she has to realize that even if she doesnt care about her own self preservation there's consequences that could happen to her friends and family. And maybe she's already made mistakes that she can't take back, and now she's neck deep in a conflict thats a lot bigger and more insurmountable than she thought. You can't just fistfight something like the abstract concept of hatred for humanity which will continue to be perpetuated as long as the idea keeps taking root. And maybe even yokai you befriended could start to believe it too, after all you've kinda been treating them as just fun toys and sidekicks on a story that's all about you, and dragging them into danger with your recklessness. Even though you're fighting the villains, are you really doing it because you actually care about saving the day? Do you even know what you're saving it from...?

* and similar to her unflappable victoryness being shaken, i think her fearlessness and confidence could also be deeper than they look on the surface. I feel like maybe as the story goes on it could be revealed that its less being fearless and more just not caring about her own safety. You start to see her get more actual consequences from her fights, and it starts to become sort of concerning that she keeps brushing it off as no big deal. Laughing it off. Wondering why her friends are even sad that she got hurt. And maybe she isnt really happy all the time and 100% secure in who she is, she just tries to hide any signs of doubt because she feels like nobody would care. And that she has to always be the funny class clown or else nobody would want to be her friend. And like.. She doesnt even really believe that she's great, believe that she's fine as she is. She's more aware of her weirdness than she lets on. She's constantly, paralyzingly aware that everyone thinks she's a freak. She did use to try and change herself to fit in, but she kept failing at it and it never helped her get any friends. Or when she did think she made a friend they'd turn on her whenever she slipped up and showed a crack in her mask of the perfect normal person. The perfect normal person they wanted her to be.. Constantly changing into WHATEVER anyone wanted her to be. The only reason she doesnt do that anymore is that she lost all hope in it working, not that she actually gained confidence in her true self. And even when she's npt conciously doing it she's still subconciously trying to be what people want her to be. She has to always be funny, always be fearless, she has to cling to the few parts of her weirdness that people dont seem to hate. And now she has to be the hero. She has to carry all the dreams of everyone she's met along the way, while never letting them know when she's scared she wont be able to help make them come true. She's always just laughing it off and never being fully open with any of her friends, because she's scared they'll hate her. ..

* so uhh.. Yeah. Personal experience of that. Personal experience of trying to fit into negative stereotypes of autism because thats what everyone saw me as no matter how hard i tried, and also it was the only form of autism theyd treat positively, somehow. Like just be the "funny one" and dont challenge any of their assumptions ans they'll leave you in relative peace. Put up with some degree of degredation to avoid the even worse version. And i was doing all of this at a very youbg age before i even knew i was autistic or what autism was, but i could still feel how people treated me differently and how i had to friggin agree with it or else they'd never let it go. Gahhh.. It was all way too complicated and dark for a kid to understand!

* so yeah anyway her story arc is going from being a badass funny to being a funny badass? Like she just becomes more genuinely tough and cool when she's not always winning and the stakes dont seem so low and comical AND most importantly you know her real feelings and see that she will indeed continue fighting even when she's scared. And she doesnt try so hard to be cool all the time so it just lets her be more genuine. And form actual relationships with everyone with genuine feelings. So its less "she is badass because its funny" and more "she is a badass because she's a badass". But she's still funny, just in more varied ways than simply "the only reason she won this fight so fast is because jokes". Fighting legit threatening enemies in fights that arent over in five seconds. So they can contain... SEVERAL joke..!!! And also some actual fighting for once!!

* hhh i dunno i am very tired im probably not explaining this well

* oh and i think possibly she has a bit of a complex of feeling she's nothing without her yokai watch? Like the yokai are her first friends who never abandoned her. And she always felt like she was useless and it was her own fault that she didnt have any friends. She first started off being all irreverent and goofy when she got the yokai watch cos she was well into her "i dont care anymore" phase of depression and felt certain these new friends would all realise she was awful eventually and leave, so like.. Why get attatched? Just have fun while it lasts. So maybe actually she shows early signs of her depression by trying harder to be normal whenever anyone shows her friendship. Maybe something where she starts straigjtening her hair or dressing more feminine and then you just see this look on her face like her heart has shattered when someone agrees that she does look better now. (Maybe a new yokai she recently caught who was like super cool and she wanted to impress them?) And she gets compulsively obsessed with it, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree and starting to change other parts of her appearance and everyone goes from giggling about this weird circumstance to getting REALLY DAMN CONCERNED! And in the end something something the yokai who was an asshole abput her needing to be more feminine slips up and shows his true assy colours to the other yokai and theyre like IT WAS YOU and he's like "what? You should be thanking me for fixing your shitty trainer!" And Then Everyone Beats Him Up Forever. Etc etc moral that real friends accept you for who you are and anyone who tells you you have to change to impress them is not worth impressing. Also maybe some aspect where the yokai dude thinks that mallory is trying to impress him cos she has a crush on him, and thats the moment that manages to snap her out of her depressive funk. Self hate overrided by sheer EWW NO IM A LESBIAN, DUDE i just liked ur cool hat, geez. (Wait was that entire plot idea just an excuse to find a way to foreshadow her getting a crush on hailey in yw3...?)

* and maybe i dunno some sort of dramatic episode where she loses the ability to use the yokai watch and is faced with her self worth issues all at once and its super fuckin sad and we all know eventually she will get to see all her yokai friends again cos the plots not gonna end before finishing all the games but still MEGA SUPER SAD MOMENT ANYWAY (also tearful reunions!)

* also i just heard theres a yokai called furgus thats a big adorable hairball that gives people big hair. So maybe that could be one of the comically easy victory episodes? He uses his power on mallory but her hair is already too fluffy to be floofed! Maybe it backfires and turns his own hair into a boring bowl cut, lol? And then maybe a sequel where he returns for revenge a million episodes later but it just so happens to be during the maddiman boss fight and he accidentally cures his balding. "Noooo dont thank me nooooo" *is forced against his will to become a popular advertosing mascot for hair cream* *like straight up just gets sucked into the nearest bottle and sealed like a genie* *cursed forever to fame and fortune and a million dollar salary*

* lol i dont think im as funny as the actual yokai watch writers but i have a few ideas at least. This will be fun to draw!

#bunni plays yokai watch

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cielospeaks · 2 years

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apparently its almost req rerun time for eng go so

thoughts on it kinda.

-tbh i do really like that it gives marie negative qualities, and shows/elaborates on them more than before. prior to req i always thought “marie is so sweet i get that she was ignorant of people’s suffering but shes so kind to everyone and funny and down to earth i think shes redeemed herself and she just didnt know before” but imo in req it really shows her kinda.. selfishness? lack of empathy? shes kind to a person who essentially validates her/gives her a sexy evil outfit/ect. and even tho that person was cruel to her brother’s friend and her son and killed both of them she kinda overlooks that in favor of “she gave me this cool thing abt myself!” i dont hate marie, in fact i like her more for actually having flaws, and i think it fits her personality that shed have this flaw, but it makes me mad bc it isnt a good design. they just gave you the most generic cliche “evil is sexy” and not even in like a cute/endearing way like n w h or a dramatic memey way like jojo, just a boring, thoughtless way. but yea this was supposed to be what i liked so

-i also like that sal tries to kill the main character. gosh im so sick and tired of every character being all like “ohh person reading this swoons i love you”. characters like izou who dont trust the main character, who threaten to kill you if you abuse them, chefs kiss i love you. and sal wanting to kill the main character is so good. he is literally not having it. murder cat i love you.

-this is just me being an angst fan but in a way i do kinda like the angst it gives. i think i dont have a problem w a plot where sals in trouble, or even suffering. but its more the reaction to it. the story has a fit when rhyme gives up the werewolf card and gets turned into a coin, but doesnt fucking bat an eye at everyone falsely accusing sal and having him executed in game. and its not some funny amongus thing either, its straight up execution. mozart being the werewolf and being a troll is in character, but youd think at least the main characters would acknowledge “hey (free character) thats fucked up what you are doing to sal (and cordy, and whoever else was killed in the lovers. deon maybe?)” but no. theyre not a cute baby child so they dont fucking matter (and rhyme gives up herself, so its not even like evil marie or anyone did anything to her)

-to list everything i hate abt req would be too fucking long. its frustrating bc i should have liked all the characters. a dinosaur, the fucking voyager spacecraft, even like essentially a demigod with ryomas spear. but the dinosaur is “passive sad uwu lady backstory” and took the place of my son. the spacecraft is a shameless apologist and also a literature character for no reason than the person who summoned him liked that book. (like excuse me how does that make sense. sal shows up in a fucking jojo cosplay bc i like jojo? i dont think so). i do like e rice for being an accurate depiction of a teenager, and i dont mean that as in “cringey” or whatever. i mean someone who irredeemably hurts others with selfishness and a lack of control over emotions, and who lashes out at others bc she is suffering, causing them the hurt that she feels. bc thats how people react to suffering, esp ppl who dont know better, and agewise kids just, for the most part, are less experienced with it so they have an excuse (some adults still do that ofc, and some kids have good enough intuition not to, ofc). apparently its become a trend to romanticize teenagers creeping on people/ect. and thats pretty fucked up imo. like if youre gonna romanticize “cringe” do it in a way like this, the reaction/reading aside. show that its a part of growing up, and not knowing consequences isnt a bad thing, but you have to be responsible for them (again why am i reminded that fucking spiderman of all things does this better than literally anything else)

-anyways i am looking forward to a translation of sals scenes (a bad, inaccurate, clunky, hamfisted translation but a translation nonetheless) even tho i will cry during reading it

#gameblogging

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tumblunni · 7 years

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HEY WOO! I’m inexplicably hyped again to work on Changeling Sim! So since I’m working on developing Anem, I remembered how I promised a while ago I’d go into more detail on the character relationships I listed on this meme. Its probably pretty silly to start with Anem as opposed to the main protagonist, but Anem is one of two main supporter characters so meh!

R E L A T I O N S H I P M E M E 2 M E M E L E C T R I C B O O G A L O O

Anem + Anem

Her relationship with herself is a low self confidence one. A relateable one that’s probably the most similar to me out of all of the cast! She’s extremely shy and worried about being good enough for everyone, always fusses over little failures that nobody else even noticed, always values everyone’s opinion higher than her own, and never notices her own positive traits. And she’s very self concious about her own cowardly nature, seeing herself as a secretly horrible person and always fearing she wouldnt be able to make the right choice if she was really scared. Would she just backstab her own friends to save herself? And she’s scared that showing her emotions of fear or sadness is ‘manipulative’, she has to always put on a serious and professional face. If anything it’s good that she’s so commonly spooked by human things, it means her new family gets to see her real self whenever she lets her guard down! However she’s actually a complete badass in battle, and her friends believe that she’s actually braver BECAUSE she’s always scared! If you’re a coward yet you still fight anyway, every single time, to protect your friends when you’re TERRIFIED OUT OF YOUR SKULL, then that’s far harder than anything else! She’s also a ridiculously effective butler, no matter how much she discounts her own skills as simply the minimum required for one in her profession. She can actually accidentally sound arrogant because of this, even if its rooted in self hate instead :P

Anem + Kiddo

I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE, MY LEIGE Probably the person Anem is immediately the closest too. Its mostly because the little half-human-half-fairy princess is the one Anem was charged with protecting, but as time goes on she begins to care about her as a best friend instead of just an employer. She trusts Kiddo the most since she’s the least human person in the room and thus least scary. And she’d heard so many great stories of how the mysterious lost princess is an amazing person, and so much is riding on her butler being the best butler ever. Which doesnt help Anem’s self confidence issues, she has NO CLUE why she was picked for the job or how she’ll manage to live up to everyone’s expectations! So she starts off kinda as a combination of hero worship and "I must be silent around you, you are the superior, you probably are so critical of everything I am doing, aaaaaa...” And Kiddo is practically wrestling with her to let her be her friend. Goddammit you’re gonna hug me and I’m not gonna rest until this day has come to pass!! On Kiddo’s side of things, Anem is initially her only friend her own age, and even when she makes more friends Anem is still the only person who really knows what its like to be magical, and can tell her more about the magical world. And Anem just starts to see Kiddo as this kind of ‘manic pixie dream girl’ archetype who jumped into her life and pulled her into a world of brighter things! Introduced her to so many human things she found so scary once, protected her from everything, helped her to love herself more, and was really the first and closest friend she ever had. (And really THAT is the reason Anem was picked out of all the knights to disguise as a butler and protect her. The knight captain wanted Anem to be able to live a more normal life for a little while, and make a friend.) Aaaaaaand ultimately Anem kinda starts CRUSHING HARD on our lil princess, and can be a potential romance route. Senpai, notice me~! Anem sees Kiddo as her knight that saved her from loneliness, Kiddo sees Anem as... well, a more literal knight. They balance each other well! They’re both brave at different things! After all, fighting giant monsters is way easier than talking to cashiers at the store, amirite?

Anem + Jack

A pretty awkward relationship! They’re kinda... only peaceful because they have to be?? Super tense, potential for things to crack at any moment. They probably would be friends if they were introduced in different circumstances, its really sad that they’re so distant through no fault of their own! Anem is bound by honor to respect her employer’s mother, who is thusly the alpha employer. But she’s still terrified of humans and doesn’t know how to relate to her, doesnt know if she’s to be trusted. Anem’s job is to protect Kiddo, she has to be suspicious of everyone and be prepared to fight even the mother if it looks like she’s a threat to the daughter... But Anem also doesn’t want to immediately jump to assuming Jackie is evil like she does with most human strangers. So instead its just incredibly awkward and professional. Anem acts like a robot and initially refuses to speak outside of her required roles as a butler. Her helpful commentary would be more cliche tutorial at first and then get more snarky and funny as she comes out of her shell~! And from Jackie’s perspective, Jackie is REALLY trying to befriend this poor kid. She’s very aware that Anem is young, even though Anem herself seems pretty unaware of it, and always judges herself to a higher standard than most adults. And Jackie also doesnt know how to relate to a fullblood fairy who’s terrified of all humans. She doesnt know how to say ‘please take it easier on yourself, I care about you’ without outstepping her bounds and scaring Anem off... But she tries her best to at least make it feel more like she’s simply a normal child doing a part-time job, instead of a slave contractually obliged to obey EVERYTHING even if she doesn’t want to. Jackie’s only way of being able to show affection is finding ways to make Anem go easier on herself, finding ways to lower her responsibilities and give her more time off. Trying to help her learn to say no... Jackie started off as an equally shy person during her childhood, and worked really hard to become this bombastic detective mama! And even then she still has her anxieties, and she sees them all reflected in this kid and has no idea how to help :( I think if Anem and Kiddo hooked up, Jackie would be absolutely over the moon to welcome her into the family and Anem would be like “??? where did this come from.” IT WAS THERE ALL ALONG, YOU SILLY THING!

Anem + Glenn

Another case of a human who wants to be Anem’s friend and Anem completely misunderstands it. Its a bit more dramatic with Glenn though! Anem has no reason to be forced to interact with him, she’s kinda out of the loop on who he is, so to her he’s just another stranger human who’s a potential threat to her beloved princess. She always comically misinterprets his various friendship attempts as ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS, leaving him confused and bereft! “I baked you a cake” “ITS A BOMB” *slaps it out of his hands as ‘hello darkness my old friend’ plays* And its especially sad because Glenn is usually a super stern guy who doesn’t initiate friendships easily, Anem doesn’t know how rare and genuine this is. They actually have a lot in common as the ‘serious duo’, and often end up together in comedic situations because of it. They’ve kinda already accidentally become friends even though neither of them knows it! Ultimately they do eventually become closer as a sort of inter-generational brotp or something? I think their friendship is more on equal grounds whereas Glenn and Kiddo see each other as adoptive siblings. And, well, in the romance ending Glenn would have a relationship like an overprotective brother meeting his lil sis’s new spouse, which is... kinda the relationship they already had before Anem and Kiddo even started dating?? Precognative awkwardness!

~Other relationships with non-main characters~

Anem + Nicnevin

Nicnevin is currently my beta name for the head of the royal knights, a badass stoic human-hating soldier who nonetheless has a soft spot and even her hate is motivated by loyalty to her queen and country. And to her little prized knight student, Anem! Anem’s been working as a novice royal knight since a very young age, and has never wished for anything but to finally join the army for real and fight for her country. Nicnevin deeply respects Anem’s amazing skill at the lance, but also worries that she’s rushing into a decision too fast on what she wants to do with her life, and has never had a chance to experience a real childhood. So she slowly ended up growing a real friendship with this brave lil rookie, and reccommended her for the butler/bodyguard job out of confidence in her skills and also a wish that Anem could have her worldview expanded and find the happiness she needed. And ultimately it was really lucky that she did, because all the anti-human propeganda ended up being grossly exaggerated and both Nicnevin and Anem regretted their actions in this war by the end of the story. By sending Anem off to find her destiny, Nicnevin found herself doubting her own destiny that she was so sure of... Also Nicnevin just really WILL NOT EVER SHUT UP about how amazing Anem is and how she’s the single most promising knight in the army and 100% deserves every good thing she’s ever given. No matter how much Anem insists on arguing that she’s a terrible person! Like... 90% of Anem’s friendships are categorized by Anem being completely oblivious to the fact this person sees her as a friend, and insisting she doesn’t deserve them. From her perspective she and her boss have a completely impersonal relationship and she’d be like ‘WHAT’ if you told her she was clearly the favourite. E-excuse me, what is this conspiracy theory bullshit???

Anem + Currently unnamed dad/parent figure of some sort?

Undeveloped idea! I was thinking maybe Anem’s dad could be a minor npc, working a job as the royal scribe at the palace. His personality is a nice and loving guy who’s a bit of a nervous wreck and a manchild. Someone who’s looked after by his daughter, rather than vice versa. But like.. not in a negative way or a comical way. He’s a well-meaning guy who really tries, but is suffering from mental illness and isn’t fully capable of taking care of his child anymore. His wife died in the war against the humans, and his mind was pretty much shattered afterwards. This family life is what led to Anem becoming so anti-human, joining the army to live up to her mother’s legacy, and picking up a lot of her father’s frightened behaviours due to his PTSD. But it also forged her into a truly brave and supernaturally competant child who’s been protecting him and will go on to protect so many other people! Ultimately the assignment to work for Jackie and Kiddo was a huge opportunity for this family! Anem sees it as a way to make enough money to look after her father, and enough fame to make it into the royal guard at last. And her dad sees it as... a nice exchange student field trip that Nicnevin kindly sent her on. Yeah, Anem didn’t want to worry him by mentioning the potential life-threatening danger of venturing into the human world that claimed her mother. ironically the humans she was assigned to ended up being nice people and her job pretty much IS a fun exchange program! Also dad has been getting a lot better, he finally managed to get back into the workplace and this scribe job is a pretty high position! Anem wouldn’t have been happy leaving him alone for so long if she didnt know he was doing okay. But still they send constant letters to each other, and whenever she gets a chance to see him again she’s ecstatic, even if it means she has to lie about what she’s been doing the whole time. Oh, and she also sends a lot of letters to Nicnevin, but that’s part of her job. Gotta report daily on any suspicious signs from the humans! “I found this ‘fork’ which may possibly be a weapon??”

#changeling sim #hella development yo

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