i like dragon merlin fics as much as the next person but you know what i rarely see and want to see more of? merlin turning into any animal out there fucking up and causing chaos in the camelot castle the cook has a personal vendetta against a stoat that keeps stealing the sausages morgana has lost many daggers to a fucking raccoon uthers bed has dog piss every week despite never letting a dog in gwen swears there is a sweet little cat near the physician chambers that always brings her a flower but no one ever sees the cat meanwhile arthur keeps trying and failing to show the knights this cool merlin falcon that he found in the woods and is self-trained in attacking bandits but the bird will never show up in front of the knights meanwhile gaius is just glaring at merlin with his high Eyebrow of Doom and merlin is just like sitting there i dont know what youre implying gaius while flicking another page of the animal transformation book he found in the secret hidden library
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Merlin is the FATHER of savagery:
“Look, I’ve told you you’re an ass. I just didn’t realize you were a royal one.”
"How long have you been training to be a prat, my lord"
Arthur: “We’re supposed to be hunting. It requires speed, strength, and an agile mind!” Merlin: "So you're able to get by on two of the three then?"
Uther: “If this were a time of war, I’d have you flogged.” Merlin: “But since it’s not we’ll let it go just this once?”
"One day you'll transform into a beautiful prince. But magic's outlawed in Camelot so that'll probably never happen."
Merlin: "She likes you?" Gaius: nods head Merlin:"Oh, that is disgusting." "Imagine...imagine if she kissed you! UGH"
Arthur: "Take some advice from someone who knows about women-” Merlin: “If such a person existed maybe I would”
Arthur: "You have the mind of a child" Merlin: "Yet I'm still more intelligent than you"
"I take it you haven't come all this way JUST TO SMASH MY FAVORITE POT"
Leon: "Whats the job, exactly?" Merlin: "To kill Arthur" Leon: "Driving you mad isn't he?" Merlin: "Not for much longer!"
Gaius: “Sometimes two heads are better than one.” Merlin: “Yes but not when one of them is yours.”
"PERCIVAL, that is a sword, it DOES hurt"
"Will it be hot? Will it be cold? Will it be wet? Will it be dry?"
Merlin: "I wouldn't do that if I were you because if you do that....you'll never learn of my plan." Arthur: "... What plan?" Merlin: "EXACTLY! That's why you can't run me through!"
"Don't think too hard, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself"
"Are you threatening me with a SPOON?"
Morgana: "You’re just my imagination" Merlin: "That’s right. I’m not really here. Just pretend i’m not really here!"
"The belt is one hole shy of perfection!"
"Do you want us to help you?.... Or do you want to do this alOoOone"
......
...
No other character will be as iconic as Merlin :)
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Arthur: Have you noticed something strange about Merlin recently?
Gaius: I wouldn’t think so, why?
Arthur: He’s kinda mean towards Mordred.
Gaius: I see.
Arthur: Could Merlin be enchanted? He normally gets along with everyone.
Gaius: I’ll look into it, Sire.
————
Gaius: Arthur thinks you’re enchanted to hate Mordred.
Merlin:
Merlin: Could I get away with it?
Gaius: What?
Merlin: Get Mordred out of the way and pretend that I was enchanted to do so?
Gaius: Merlin! No!
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my waist will never be as snatched as,,, his 😔😔😔
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