#no ones gonna kill me over this. its fine

[kyletogaz]

MDNI

cw: fingering

idk something about kyle being impatient and wanting to get his hands on you right now, even though you’re out at a nice restaurant enjoying dinner, or trying to. somehow kyle’s managed to convince you to sit closer to him. and now he’s got a hand trailing up your thigh, his fingers coming to a stop right at the edge of the fabric covering your cunt. kyle’s watching you in amusement as you inhale sharply while clutching your fork for dear life. you don’t even spare him a glance. you are going to kill him when y’all get home.

“open up, sweetheart.”

you ignore his soft request and shove a forkful of food in your mouth instead. kyle’s playing a dangerous game in this restaurant.

before you can protest, you feel kyle’s warms fingers seeking out your clit. when he finds his prize, your body jerks a little. your fork clatters to the table as you let out a soft moan.

kyle laughs softly and says, “keep eating, lovie.”

the glare you shoot at him does not stop him from rubbing your poor puffy clit raw. your pussy is definitely leaking and you’re so glad the the lights are dimmed because you’re on the verge of going cross-eyed with the way your man’s fingers are strumming you like a guitar.

“k-kyle, please.” you’ve entered the begging stage and kyle is eating that shit right up.

you let out a soft whine when he pushes your panties aside and shoves his fingers between your folds. “gonna cum on my fingers, sweetheart?”

you let out a whimper in response as your eyes dart around the restaurant, while you make sure no one is watching you get fingered within an inch if your life. biting your lip, you spread your legs a little wider to give kyle more access. he’s just smiling and watching your reactions. he even had the nerve to pick up his fork with his other hand to resume his meal. you almost go into a panic when your waitress comes over and asks if you and kyle are okay and was the food cooked to your liking.

“we’re fine, the food is delicious,” you say, your voice a little higher in pitch. and you’re praying to whatever god that chooses to listen, that your waitress doesn’t notice anything. you gently shove a forkful of food in your mouth to keep from moaning like a whore in that lady’s face.

when your eyes cut over to kyle once she leaves, he’s fucking smirking at you. “good girl,” he coos as he pinches your clit.

the waves of pleasure that consumes you while he toys with your clit would have had you careening into your dinner plates, if you weren’t gripping the edge of the table. kyle was a goddamn menace and you were at his mercy. because you’re far too composed for kyle’s liking, he speeds up his movements. he wants to see you fall apart in the middle of this restaurant. this was crazy, insane. your poor pussy has a mind of its own as it responds to kyle in the way he likes. when you start to feel that familiar sensation building, you have to brace yourself. you bow your head and press your lips together tightly as soon as the pleasure spikes and your orgasm crashes into you.

you’re only vaguely aware of kyle stroking your thigh with his sticky fingers as he tells you how you did good and how he’ll let you cum on his cock when you get home.

when you can finally breathe again, kyle shoves a cool glass of water into your hands, telling you to drink up.

“was it good for you, lovie? because it was definitely good for me.”

the only thing you can do while kyle licks your slick off his fingers, is stare in shock.

a/n: hiii 😁

#i’m screaming what is this #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick #kyletogazwrites

[half-oz-eddie]

One More Night Before I Turn Myself In

18+, Graphic Depictions of violence, mentions of abuse, fetishizing

Steve Harrington has had it up to his ears with Hawkins. He lost Nancy, his parents divorced and all anyone ever cared about was dumping their kids on Steve, with the big house and all the free time—no, fuck that. He needed to be somebody that could enjoy life somehow. 

In the middle of the night, he got in his car with every intention of quietly disappearing from Hawkins for good. Not like anyone would miss him anyway—

He screamed when a dark figure slammed down on the hood of his car. He trembled as it made its way to the passenger’s side. 

Oh. He sighed in relief. It’s just Hargrove. 

Hargrove?!

Steve rolled down the window. “Whaddya want, Hargrove? I’m not in the mood for a fight.”

“Not here to fight, Harrington. Where ya headed?” He asked, leaning into the open window. 

“Dunno. But I’m getting outta here.”

Billy pulled the door handle. “Open up.”

“Why?”

“C’mon just—“ he struggled with the door handle until Steve unlocked it and allowed him in. “Take me wherever you’re going.”

“What? No—“

“C’mon! Please? I need to get outta here for awhile.”

Since when was Billy the type of guy to say please? 

“Ugh, fine.” He groaned. “But I don’t wanna hear any complaints.”

“I’m not gonna say shit.”

Steve took off in the silent night, driving past the Now Leaving Hawkins sign before Billy glanced over at him in the dim moonlight.

“No radio?”

“I thought you weren’t gonna say anything.” Steve snapped.

“Touchy.” Billy tusked. “Just saying. It’s too damn quiet. It’s creepy.”

“Fine.”

Steve turned on the radio, just as a breaking news story was broadcasting.

“—was shot and killed in his home—“

Billy reached over and changed the station, letting Hungry Like The Wolf play.

“You like this song, right?”

“Yeah, it’s…one of my favorites.”

“Cool.” Billy muttered. 

They drove in silence for another 10 miles before Billy asked Steve to pull over so he could “take a piss in the woods.”

“Can’t you wait til we reach a gas station?”

“I can’t hold it.” Billy insisted.

“Fine. Go.” Steve pulled over and Billy jumped out. 

He went behind the closest tree and Steve turned up the radio slightly, none the wiser to the sounds of Billy discarding something in the woods. 

He returned to Steve’s car and the drive continued on. 

Eventually Billy had fallen asleep, slowly waking up before sunrise.

“Where are we?” He asked in a groggy voice.

“Pittsburg, Pennsylvania.”

Billy stretched and sat up. “Why here?”

“It’s far from home and I saw an ad for a job here. I’m checking into a motel. What do you plan on doing?”

Billy shrugged. “Whatever you’re doing.”

“Hey, I said I’d drive you. I’m not carrying you along and taking care of you—“

“I didn’t ask you to take care of me. I can take care of myself. I have money for my own fuckin’ room.” Billy said matter-of-factly. 

“Whatever, fine.”

They walked into the motel together and Steve requested two separate rooms. 

“It’s cheaper if you double up.” The desk agent suggested. 

They looked at each other then shrugged, agreeing to split the fees for a double room. 

They each received keys to room 206 and stepped inside. Neither of them had any luggage on them so there was no need to settle in. 

Billy claimed the bed closest to the bathroom, tossing his jacket on the chair and lying down on the bed. He turned on the TV and found an old movie to watch.

“It might be cheaper if we split for breakfast too.” Steve presented the idea.

Billy passed Steve a $5. “Get me a six pack.”

“You’ve gotta eat—“

“No. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be out here, or what I’m gonna do next, so I gotta save my money.”

Steve sighed, leaving the motel room without another word.

Billy fell asleep once more, springing up when Steve returned.

“I got your six pack, but I also got you some food.” Steve passed Billy a sandwich. 

“…Thanks.” He reluctantly accepted. 

They ate in awkward silence. They didn’t exactly like each other, or know what to talk to each other about. Deep down, they were both scared because of how foolish and impulsive they were being, but they didn’t want to discuss it at the moment.

“I’m gonna go and, uh…try to find a job. Want me to drive you anywhere?”

“No, I’ll just hang out here.”

“Suit yourself.”

Once Steve was gone, Billy decided to take a shower and go for a walk to clear his head.

But his head would never be clear after what happened. It still felt like a hazy nightmare. A nightmare that would never end. 

He was so in his head, he didn’t realize that he’d been walking around aimlessly for hours. 

When he returned to the motel, Steve was already there, this time, with lunch. 

“Stopped at a KFC. Want some chicken?”

“Just a little.”

Steve passed Billy some chicken and a biscuit. They enjoyed it with some beers. 

“So, uh…where’d you go?” Steve asked. “Sightseeing?”

“Something like that.” Billy answered vaguely.

“I um…I got a job. It’s at a uh…bowling alley nearby.”

“Congratulations, Harrington.”

“Thanks…”

The awkward silence returned. Steve felt like he had to tread carefully with Billy. He still didn’t understand why they were playing survivor in a motel room, or why they both decided to run away the same night—or why he agreed they’d do it together. Was Steve this desperate to not be alone? 

Maybe so.

“Hey, do you like—wanna go to a club tonight or something? Get drunk, meet some hot girls, I dunno.” Steve laughed.

Billy glared at him before his expression softened with a snicker. “Whatever, sure.”

“Yeah?”

Billy shrugged. “You’re cooler than I thought, Harrington.”

“Sucks we got off on the wrong foot, right? But it’s not too late to start over.”

Unbeknownst to Steve, it was far too late for that. But just for tonight, Billy wanted to enjoy it.

Steve took Billy to a thrift store and they bought something affordable to wear for their night out, then found a nightclub. 

They opened a tab, got some drinks in their systems and mingled with some girls, but oddly enough, felt more comfortable clinging to each other instead. 

“You two look kinda cute together.” One of the women they met mentioned. 

Steve emphatically shook his head and Billy waved it off. “O-oh we’re not—“

“We’ll pay you a hundred bucks if you let us watch you dance together.” The second woman proposed. 

Was this like…some sort of fetish to them? Do they get off on seeing guys dance together?

“I mean, for a hundred bucks…”

Steve snapped his head in Billy’s direction. “What the hell? You serious?”

“What’s the problem? It’s just a dance. You scared?”

“I—no—whatever, c’mon.” He acquiesced, taking another shot before allowing Billy to drag him onto the dance floor. 

They glanced over at the women who watched them, expecting a good show.

Billy pulled Steve close by his belt loops. “Just close your eyes and pretend I’m somebody else.”

“I don’t mind dancing with you.” Steve admitted. “It’s not like you’re—ugly—or something.”

Billy smirked and leaned into Steve’s ear. “Hey, Harrington…”

“Yeah?”

“Are you fuckin’ flirting with me?”

Steve pulled back to get a read on Billy’s expression, relieved to see a smile on his face. Maybe he’s just joking.

Steve began to shake his head, before smiling and shrugging.

Maybe Steve’s just joking too, Billy considered.

They let themselves relax and enjoy each other’s company, invading each other’s personal space, swaying and gyrating to the music, half hard cocks obviously felt against each other’s.

There was electricity coursing through them, and they found themselves liking this far too much. It had to be the alcohol, they both believed. 

Billy leaned into Steve’s ear again as Steve’s hand made its way onto Billy’s ass. 

“I’m horny.” Billy confessed. 

“What do you want me to do about it?” Steve asked.

“Do you wanna do something about it?”

“Kinda, yeah. Is that weird?”

“No. You wanna go back to the motel?”

Steve’s cock was throbbing at this point. Of course he wanted to go back to the fucking motel.

Billy pulled Steve in the direction of the women, hand out for the payment. 

“We’ll double it if you kiss.”

“Oh, that’s no problem.” Billy grabbed Steve, leading him in a sensual tongue kiss. Steve couldn’t resist the urge to grab Billy’s cock while Billy grabbed the back of his neck.

Fuck. He didn’t know what was in the air, or those drinks but Jesus Christ did he want to bring Billy back to the motel and fuck his brains out. 

The women paid them their $200 and they took a taxi back to the motel. 

They didn’t think, they didn’t discuss, they didn’t reconsider. Clothes were simply flying off at the door before they landed on Steve’s bed, Billy’s hand wrapped around both of their cocks as they kissed. 

The night felt like a fever dream but the feeling of their cocks touching and the sensation of their tongues darting against each other’s reminded them both that this was real—for whatever reason it was happening. It was fucking happening. 

“Have you ever done this before?” Billy asked, lips still pressed to Steve’s.

“Had sex? Mhm. Of course.”

“With a guy, Harrington.”

“No, but a hole’s a hole, right?”

Billy tusked. “You make me sound like a cheap whore.”

“Not cheap.” Steve corrected. “You’re definitely worth $200.”

They laughed against each other’s lips before their kissing resumed. 

Billy continued to jerk their cocks until they were painfully hard. He loosened his fist and spat into his hand, rubbing it all over Steve’s cock. 

“Fuck me.” He exhaled. “Don’t be a pussy.”

Steve positioned himself between Billy’s legs and slowly slid his cock inside. 

“Oh fuck, you’re so tight.” Steve moaned, thrusting in and out and in and out. Faster, harder, rougher. 

Billy had done this before, and didn’t mind that Steve was being so rough, but shit…his cock was massive, and he could feel every inch as he thrusted. 

Steve didn’t understand anything except the feeling of his cock drooling inside a man’s tight asshole. And the man happened to be Billy Hargrove, who was as pretty as ever writhing beneath him. 

He slowed down his thrusts, savoring their kisses, relishing in how incredible sex felt.

“I’m gonna cum.” Billy moaned out.

“Me too, holy shit. You feel so good.”

“Cum in me, if you like it that much.”

Billy’s invitation was just enough to send a rippling feeling down Steve’s spine as he came inside Billy, emptying himself inside his hole.

Billy soon followed, spilling out all over himself.

They stared into each other’s eyes, still in disbelief that they acted on their sudden attraction to one another. 

— 

They got cleaned up and slightly sobered up, then sat at the table, eating some chips. 

“So…uh…I wasn’t sure—“

“Wanna hear something crazy, Billy?”

“I guess.”

“I think…” Steve chuckled. “Maybe this was meant to be. It just—all of it felt so right, didn’t it? I’m not saying we have to jump right into anything, but—“

“I can’t, Steve.” Billy deflated. “I can’t…we can’t.”

“O-oh I—“ He nervously laughed. “I wasn’t trying to be weird but—“

“It’s not that. Tonight was…great, but…I can’t because…I need to…turn myself in.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Turn yourself in…for what?” He warily asked.

“I got so fucking sick of…him…beating me and treating me like shit so…I went in his room…I got his gun, and while he sat at table reading the paper and waiting for dinner, I raised his gun to his face, and...”  Billy pointed a finger gun at Steve “blam.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Y-you…killed your father?!”

“And tossed the gun in the woods when we made that pit stop.”

Billy didn’t seem remorseful at all, but if he was indeed a victim, well, then Steve was willing to defend him.

“Hey, you’re a victim in this.” Steve comforted, holding Billy’s hand across the table. “I’m sure they’ll understand—“

“I shot him right in front of Susan.” Billy replied emotionlessly. “She would never speak up for me.”

“What about Max?”

“She’s just a stupid kid. It doesn’t matter what she says.”

“I don’t want—I don’t want you to go and spend the rest of your life in prison over someone who abused you.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I can’t be on the run for the rest of my life.” He frowned. 

“Let’s go to sleep and sort it out together tomorrow, yeah?”

Billy noticed how desperate Steve was for him to stay. Why, though? It didn’t make sense. It’s not like they were in love or anything. Sure, he liked the guy and felt this insane connection to him. And maybe Steve felt like Billy was the only familiar piece of Hawkins he had with him. 

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter.

Billy couldn’t stay. 

But for the night, he humored Steve. They talked, they cuddled in bed, and Billy let Steve fuck him one last time.

But this time, he was gentler, slower, and it felt like, maybe, Steve knew he’d leave in the morning, whether he wanted him to or not. 

Which was true.

When Steve woke up the next morning, Billy was long gone. All he left behind was his watch and a note.

“Put some money on my books, pretty boy.”

#this has been in my drafts for like #a year idk #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #ivy.doc #caliscoops.doc

[arcaneyouth]

i have GOT to accept im constantly stressed out and tired and simply can't make all that much art right now you would think this would be easy afhsGDASFHFHS

#not really a vent or anything just damn ok clearly this isnt working #no ones gonna kill me over this. its fine #i feel so weirdly guilty about it. think the content creator in me took over and now i forgot how to chill #whacking myself with a newspaper. im not a machine. even machines need to rest.

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[skoulsons]

the father-daughter relationships where they start off pointing their weapons at each other not liking the other to literally flying home together in the span of like…two days. or less. no but really. I’m dying over here.

#HIM CALLING HER LITTLE BIRD?:?:!?;:?;’vdv?:?:? #AND THEN BIRDIE?:?;??:?;? #‘were you going to give me to them?’ #‘no.’ #him thanking her for helping with his arm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #AND THEM TALKING ABOUT STREAMER GIRL???? AND THE SMILE ON HIS FACE????? #‘I shouldn’t tell you unless you read it someday’ #‘seems I must’ #‘you must think I’m strange’ #‘not at all. it’s quite impressive’ 😭😭😭😭😭 #‘well you can’t…you can’t think like that. you go down that path it’s…it’s not good. you need someone to blame- blame me’ im blubbering. #‘my name is cee’ #‘ITS NICE TO MEET YOU CEE’ #him saying hold it like you love it and remembering that parallel on here to Joel ep6 talking about squeezing the trigger #that one guy was probably gonna kill her (and him) but Ezra said ain’t no way you’re hurting a hair on her head #‘you run fast and you don’t stop’ AND HE GETS SO CLOSE I SWEAR THEIR HELMETS TOUCH #‘YOU NEED TO GO. YOU GRAB THE GUN YOU GO. YOU CAN MAKE IT. GET OUT OF HERE’ JOELELLIE EP7 #AND SHE GOES BACK FOR HIM AND THEN THEY GO HOME TOGETHER #im fine everything’s cool I’m not going insane over them I’m not. #prospect 2018 #prospect #ezra prospect #prospect ezra #cee prospect #ezra and cee #pedro just adopts little kids left and right and it’s so. so good.

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

anybody wanna nominate themselves to kill me with hammers?

#somehow the week of spring break is my most incredibly busy week with work. KRILLS MYSELF!! #im on our colony care rotation. im doing my grant experiment that takes 3hrs a day. my TA prof wants me to grade a shitton of stuff. my PI #was like can you get an updated draft to me by wednesday? ^_^ gonna have to tell him no fucking way tomorrow #bc we are also having a fucking forensics meeting #i wanted to go on another bug catching trip with a friend on wednesday but idk if ill be able to now :( #and i wanted to have a wine and cheese night. no fucking way im gonna feel up to hosting that this week #i was supposed to have an appointment this last wednesday. lady cancelled last minute and said how about monday (tomorrow)? and i thought #that would be fine. but i just had to text and be like hey sorry dont think i can #im probably forgetting something too. who fucking knows. #i wanted to clean my room bc its looking like the fucking labyrinth trash lady zone in there but fuck me i dont have the energy to #oh edit from one minute later. just got an email from my prof abt an assignment he wants us to do over spring break in my horrid fucking R #coding class. yeah im killing myself 😁👍🏻

[doodlebloo]

Do you guys ever think about how (as far as we know) c!Tubbo arguably made the right choice by deciding to never open up to c!Ranboo... Because c!Ranboo (when Enderwalking) retains all his memories and works alongside c!Dream anyway. So although c!Tubbo doesn't know it, his paranoia is actually keeping him safe, because the less info c!Ranboo knows the less he has the ability to tell c!Dream... Not that c!Ranboo necessarily would, but it sucks that like... c!Tubbo probably beats himself up for not wanting to share anything with his sweet and loyal husband, not even knowing that sharing the wrong stray detail about c!Tommy could have caused something disastrous. Like c!Tubbo was right to be a closed book and that shit hurts to think about!!!

#i need Ranboo to explain cRanboo so bad. #one of the only things i care about anymore. pls just tell me why a version of cRanboo with all his memories WHICH BTW #HIS MEMORIES WOULD INCLUDE THE DISC FINALE. Why that version of cRanboo would willingly help cDream. #Even IF cDream went ''oh i wasnt really gonna kill Tubbo it was staged also its good that New Lmanberg was exploded by me'' #and even IF cRanboo wasnt told why the prison tnt needed to be set off & therefore didnt know hed be hurting cTommy #how could he work with someone who he knows has hurt cTubbo like that. If he genuinely cared. #and i think about that a LOT a lot bc like. We see all these glimpses of cRanboo just... not listening to what cTubbo is saying. #the warning about cWilbur in ho16 is a good example but also just about history and Lmanberg in general... cRanboo sort of gives off the #vibe that he thinks he knows better than cTubbo does. That he thinks he knows what cTubbo needs and what's best for him #but also that he like... idk i just have thought about it a lot and worryingly i think he could become similar to c!Technoblade eventually. #Not in the ''violence is the only universal language'' way but in the way of like ''as soon as someone doesnt agree w my ideals and feels #differently than I do they have lost my respect and protection until they Prove themself and Earn it back'' type deal. not NOW i dont think #cRanboo is like that NOW but... Everyone always says ''cRanboo grow a backbone'' but he DID... While enderwalking. #ew!Ranboo is him with a backbone and apparently the him with a backbone does not care if he hurts his loved ones. #like cRanboo is part of the problem of people brushing aside cTubbo's grief and pain like it doesnt matter. cRanboo helping cDream has the #same energy as cJack trying to kill cTommy. this sort of ''he'll get over it'' mentality about cTubbo that assumes that just because he HAS #in the past been able to ''bounce back'' from indescribable loss that means things dont bother him or he can do it easily #so like. i do believe cRanboo isnt unsalvageable. i think the parts of him WE see are very much just misguided and not intentionally #hurtful. but sometimes i think abt Ranboo saying he was gonna make it so no one could be an apologist for cRanboo and I think like #what Memory does ew!Ranboo regaun that suddenly makes it fine for him to hurt his loved ones? for ''Dream Is The Reason'' to completely #disappear for him? is cDream offering him something he cant refuse or god forbid does ew!Ranboo just AGREE with him? #that to me is like. Once i know that i can be at peace. thats like one of the only things I'll be genuinely upset if it isnt explained #bc when i tell you it has been haunting me for like a year. #ok sorry for the rant and sorry boobers if i messed up some lore details lol #doodle.txt

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data #which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done #for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior #so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip. #also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a #collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things. #and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more #devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close #bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the #country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will #instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a #different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad #a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi #intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see #them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize #the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b #doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped #that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying #less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating #unrelated

[mxdotpng]

#.text #im playing fire emblem awakening. and i will talk about it so i can avoid doing my homework #i like sumia ^_^ #she is so everything actuslly i think #shes so ^_^. <- that she is that #shes also a lesbian. #im also so good at this game i keep killing all of my units im so happy they added casual mode to the newer games bc #if perma death was the only game mode like the older ones id like. #well. #the only units id have rn would be chrom and robin and thats bc they literally cannot die without a game over. so #i keep wanting to spell his name as chrome. #lissa and mirabelle are also kinda.... #anyway. #sumia is the only girl i rlly vibe with and she's going to chrom so. i have no clue how im gonna get morgan. wish me luck #anna is my 2nd choice even though my first choice would really be Nobody. Please. God. #I Hate Anime Heterosexual Relationships #but its fine. its fine. #its fine. FINE. #anyway. um. girl help my units keep dying #girl. please. im drifting out to sea.

[penisliker-moved]

CHIHUAHUAS R SO IMPORTANT OK!!!!! THEEEE BEST DOGS IMO....

#im biased bc i had s chihuahua mutt. but like genuinely #ppl who HATE chihuahuas and other small dogs #what the avtual fuck is wrong with you. get a life #'THEY LOOK LIKE RATS !!!' ok so do u ugly. at least th chihuahua doesnt ALSO have a shitty personality #whatever #im so passionate sbt chihuahuas i love them sm they deserve th world #and.like. its fine to not like them its fine to prefer other dog breeds #but the fucking Hatred you guys have for a little fucking animal. whats wrong with you. GET A LIFE!!! #like th favt that bringing uo chihuahuas. 80% of th time somebody will be like haha yeah ^-^ I wanna run a chihuahua over i wanna strangle #one. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!! THERES NO FUCKJNG WORLD IN WHICH THATS FUCKING NORMAL. #PPL WILL JUST FUCKING SAY IT THO AJD THEN SMUGLY LOOK ST YOU LIKE. WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! #i have problems with social cues fuckjng believe me but if somebody mentions their beloved childhood dog im not gonna tell them #abt my weird fantasy of brutally murdering that entire dog breed. thats fucking freak behavior #Cnnyou tell this hss happened 2 me. multiple times #like maybe im judt oversensitive bc my dad hurt my dog a lot. But i judt dont see how its funny. Like at all #even if i didnt have like. a history of trauma surrounding chihuahuas specifically being abused. Its still fucking weird. #ive never had a golden retriever but if somebody talked ovsessively abt wanting to kill one thats Also fucking gross and disgusting #and everybody would agree. why sre chihuahuas the fucking exception. whatever #animal abuse #animal desth #a2t #sry.

[nomaishuttle]

justt realized that th site i ws using t figure out my salary assumed id be working 56 hours a week when in reality i usually work likee 15 hours a week max . im gonna throw up Lol Lol Lol

#idk how on earth id get that many hours And also if i had that many hours id kill my shellfish #its still gonna be a fine amt of money ill make rent nd everything but im gonna have a lot less t put into savings #im so fuckin stupid idk why i didnt check how many hours itd be. ughhh #bc like. i need at least 2 days off a week for appts + my sanity #preferably itd be 3 days a week off but. sigh #so if im working 5 days of th week and im doing..lets say 50 hours a week thats 10 hours a day thats 20 rooms a day. lmao. lmao #even if i only take 1 day off which i quite literally cannot do thats 8.3 hours a day #which is. more doable but thats still like. 16 rooms? which has only happened to me like..once #th one time i worked 9 hours i genuinely intended to kms abt it. bc i ws in so much pain #n my pains gotten a lot better now but i still dont think i cn do that. Agghhh aghhhh #n if i do th starbucks job. well 1 if i ws in customer service id kms. i hate talking to ppl my hearing is too bad for it i cannot do it #but even if i did ik for a fact that i wouldnt get that many hours.. sigh #whatevr. frows up #ok. doing th math it shouldnt be that bad it will literallly be ok. i just need t calm down #most days at my current place are 3-5 hours #n idk how long theyll be at th new place but i assume theyll be similar.. #but. that wuld have me making anywhere from 1002-1670 a month #which is good . rent is 380.. so i should be making likee. anywhere from 2.5 times rent to a little bit more than quadruple rent... both r #good. bc then i cn put abt 300-500 in savings each week and have some left over... okokok #calming down now . smile

[be-good-to-bugs]

there is a god and he is cruel

#the bin #sorry sorry im having existential dread and terror. literally i dont think ive ever felt worse then i do over the fact im gonna have to wor #some stupid job so often that contributes nothing and get paid so little and be in pain the whole time and have so little time for fun #inat least wnat something that pays a bit better and feels like im actually doing something #tnis whole go to work and cycle through this same loop of donated items and then watch so many of them get tossed is killing me #my job feels so meaningless because it is. i dont know how to describe why. i think a job at a grocery store doing stocking would feel at #different. this type of production work is just so draining mentally. its not samey enough to just be ignorable. it sucks #i go to work and sort through stuff and then put it on the shelves and then everything gets all messed up and fixed and messed up again #and it repeats and its not the same as if it were boxed. because at least that would feel just like whatever yknow. its this horrible #capitalist system disgused as something small and friendly. ive always felt this way about big chain thrift stores and now that i work at #one that feeling is so much stronger. ' #'you love to thrift so why not work at thrift?' because it will crush your soul #sorry. i would rather like work at a store stocking a regular rotation of things and itd feel like corprate capitalism yattah yattah but #not pretending to be soemthing else. my coworkers are so nice but i hate this job #my managers are fine but theyre pushing more of tnis produce produce produce thing bc they have to and i dislike it a lot #like man i AM doing my best and its fast enough and its not even being said directly to me just everyone but it feels bad like they want #me doing this exact process for a job whee the things change. its not a bunch of same shape packeged blah blah its just an array of objects #a really boring array of objects that are all the same but also not the same enough to be easier #and you want to to act like its all packeged and stuff?? #ugh i hate it. i think this is why i like hanging bags so much cause its a simple sorting pricess and simple to put them up

[29121996]

.

#deciding fuvk it il #kms within the next week #bc im Literally Asking for Help from people without begging for it. #and im twlling people how i feel and no one seems to fuckimg GET IT or they keep . brushing me off #like i feel like im beimg swallowed by a black hole. and iys threatenung to consume me fully #but ita fine right !!! #im not actibely depressed !!! im just suicidal #whats fucked is that i wasnt suicifsl for months n now i am and . no one cares lol #and im tired. sp fucking tired and over feelijg like this #and like i gave to fucking fight for help so i dont feel like this. #and i dont . want killing myself to be the option i have. but . i either jeep downplaying how much pain im in #or no one actually gives a shit enough to like . care. #so its fine. #im determined to make it tjrougj august wuthout an attempt bc itll b my first aug sunce 2017 whete i HAVENT #or 2018 #whuchrber it is #but . i am not gonna lie i literally cant keep going anymore #this is a cycle atp and i want out of it bc its no fun i hate wanting to die and not knowinh how to fxi it #like man i was feeling so good for like 5+ months #i went so long without being actibely or passibely suicifal and now its back in full swing anf Angry and trying to destroy me. #i juat hate this.

[instantarmageddon]

You know as a kid with Behavioral Issues™️ who's dad would grab them and shake them and threaten to beat them in public for doing Normal Kid Things I don't really remember the specific things he would yell at me, but I do remember looking to other adults for help and watching them pretend not to see me.

#VIVIDLY remember the face adults would make when they Averted Their Eyes #if they acknowledged the situation it was to commend my dad for 'keeping me in line' #for the record i only ever actually got hit a handful of times #but he would grab me and pinch me in ways that would hurt but not leave marks #like i would throw a fit over something stupid because i was 9 and it would turn into this fiasco where im sobbing snot running down my face #with a grown man standing over me threatening to spank me in the dairy aisle #while tim the milk man pretends he cant hear me begging to just be left alone #bc being quiet wasnt enough! he would get in my face and yell at me to smile so everyone knew i was okay! #that i wasnt being abused and i was fine!! smile right now before they get the wrong idea!!!!! #and like my mom didnt give a shit #shes totally checked out. she to this day swears days like this never happened and im exaggerating for attention #but i fucking remember man! i felt so fucking SMALL #i was like this lunatic is gonna fucking kill me and no one will care #bc like only a couple of times was enough to know that he was more than capable of hurting me! when he said im gonna beat you black and blue #i believed him!! #i used to think that i was the worst most evil child to ever exist. i thought i was the literal antichrist for a bit #and looking back i was just a small child who was grieving and needed someone to talk to #dont even get me started on the fucked up shit he used to say to me. like ive repeated it to people #and they just straight up dont believe it bc its so vile #and a lot of times there were witnesses!! #no one in our society gives two shits about children and thats why so many adults are so fucked up #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #i saw something fucked up today that i couldn't do anything about and now im having some sort of breakdown about it

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Show me where it hurts (part 1)

Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader

(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist

summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.

warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo

a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker.  I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D

(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)

edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(

wc: 3.6k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You think Miguel is avoiding you. 

One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point. 

"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."

She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it. 

"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill for…"

"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow. 

"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.." 

He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here." 

"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?" 

"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?" 

"I don't have time for this-" 

"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?" 

"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans. 

"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks." 

"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now." 

This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching. 

"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-" 

"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explain…. later."

"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."

He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "

Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!" 

When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall. 

"I just…. don't want her to see me like this… Lyla, it's not happening… I can't tell her…." Tell her what, exactly? 

Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out. 

~~~

Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big. 

He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing. 

Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm. 

"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain. 

Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies. 

"What happened?" He strains. 

"I don't even… it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and… " She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-" 

"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it off…"

"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"

Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye. 

"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down… Jess, tell him that I can-" 

"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."

Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple. 

"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."

When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile. 

You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you. 

"You should… mierda ! You should be resting in bed."

You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."

"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."

You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?" 

He shrugs. " 'Course I was."

"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does. 

"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now. 

He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?" 

"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan. 

"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumatic…"

"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact. 

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-" 

"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-" 

"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"

"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-" 

"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "

He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it. 

"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"

Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.

"I don't… I d-don't…?" 

"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?" 

Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to. 

"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't… we can't lose you."

"Miguel-"

"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."

"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts." 

Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."

You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears. 

"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."

You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down. 

~~~

The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning. 

The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before. 

You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now. 

"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"

"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home. 

You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time. 

The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear. 

"Ow… ouch … Dad's on the phone, honey."

"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?" 

"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"

"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."

"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."

"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."

"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?" 

You hum.

"Could've sworn Lyla cancelled…"

"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."

He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?" 

"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just… uhhh. You didn't hear this from me." 

"Naturally…"

"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."

"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"

"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, and…." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."

"Shit."

"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."

"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."

"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks… "

"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me." 

" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."

"Good to know. I'll see you around."

He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard. 

Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakes… 

You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better.  

On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate. 

"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you. 

"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding. 

"Uhh… hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?" 

"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."

"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?" 

She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."

Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more… his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge… in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?" 

"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."

You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?" 

"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."

"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me… I could just ask questions?" 

She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters." 

"Did I do something? Not just today but… last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"

"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is… complicated." She gestures around that word. 

"I'm a little confused, Lyla."

She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface. 

It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head. 

Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and again…

"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "

You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla." 

"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."

Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning. 

"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?" 

"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."

"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."

"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."

"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this." 

"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"

"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."

The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."

"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you." 

With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.

_

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#miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #across the spiderverse #kat_writes😼 #this gif is fucking crazy btw

[tgcg]

happy day of egbert

CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?

TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you

TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert

TG: half press to focus subject

TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot

CG: BUT --

TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine

===

EB: yeah, come on karkat!

EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.

EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.

EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…

EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!

===

CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.

CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.

CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.

TG: alright give us a sec

TG: huddle formation

EB: psssshhh, alright.

===

TG: youre not gonna fuck this up

TG: your ass is completely secure dude

TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville

EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?

EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.

TG: 'xactly

TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone

===

CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?

CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.

TG: woah wait youre legit into it?

CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.

CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.

TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us

TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!

CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.

TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright

===

CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --

===

CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.

CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!

EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.

CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.

CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.

CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.

EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…

===

EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!

CG: WHAT

#homestuck #413 #davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #john egbert #june egbert #j egbert #comix #happy day of egbert