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#but also that he like... idk i just have thought about it a lot and worryingly i think he could become similar to c!Technoblade eventually.
nereidprinc3ss · 23 hours
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do you believe me now? | 4
in which spencer reid and inexperienced fem!reader are interrupted at the most inopportune of times. he calls you on the first night of his case. dirty talk turns into a hard conversation. we get a glimpse into spencer's past, and we finally learn why he's so hesitant to sleep with you.
part one | part two | bonus chapter | part three
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: dirty talk, phone sex/mutual masturbation, softdom!spence, obligatory he talks u through it, lots of graphic discussions of sex, established relationship, angst (sorrryyy!) a/n: so remember how i said you'd need the bonus chapter to fully appreciate/understand this part? i was wrong!! it will come in handy probably in the next part tho:) also idk how these parts keep getting so long im sorry! anyway, i love you all so bad. thank you for bearing w/ my craziness. PLEASE let me know your thoughts on this part!! i adore hearing from you!! kisses
(also special thank you to @fliesforeyes who convinced me phone sex w/ spence could be done!! i will link his phone sex blurb here :)) thank u binx!!
“Three million six hundred eighty four thousand three hundred thirty two times fourteen million seven hundred sixty one thousand nine hundred seventy one.”
You’ve lost count of how many stupid math questions you’ve asked your human calculator boyfriend, just to see if he can actually do them. Spencer is silent for a second, and you think you’ve finally stumped him. 
“That one is complicated.”
You sit bolt upright in his bed, looking down at him and pointing an accusatory finger. His brows raise at the manic look in your eye. 
“You don’t know.”
“I do know. I meant it would be hard to explain if you aren’t a math person.”
“Bullshit!” You scoff, “you don’t know!”
“It would display on a calculator as five-point-three-eight-eight-E-thirteen. It’s a really big number.”
“Oh, really big, huh?” you mumble, searching for your phone blindly in the sheets and scrambling to open the calculator app. “Um… what numbers did I say?”
Spencer repeats them back to you and you press the equals sign. 
You look at it. 
And then you set your phone down. 
“I was right, huh?” he smiles up at you, probably reveling in your pouty wrongness. 
Too proud to admit it, you collapse on top of him, burying your face in his shoulder. 
“I don’t like this game anymore. What the fuck even is an e? Why are we doing algebra?”
Spencer laughs, brushing your hair aside. 
“The e stands for exponent. It’s to the power of ten.”
“Ever heard of a rhetorical question?”
“Yes, I have.”
It’s hard not to snort even at his dumbest jokes. 
“You’re annoying. Let’s do something else.”
You roll over onto your back again, letting your head flop over to look at Spencer, whose hair is exactly the right amount of messy after a long day, falling in impossibly soft waves over the perfect lines and contours of his face. Despite lounging, he’s still in his suit from work—he’d left Quantico and immediately picked you up. There were no solid plans for the evening, so after both of you pretended that you wanted to go out for a while, you ended up back at his apartment. 
He looks good. Almost too good. 
“Something like what?” he smiles lazily, reaching over and tracing his fingers over your cheek. 
“Something… naked?”
His grin widens and he shakes his head. 
“Me naked or you naked?”
Pretending to think about it, you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. 
“Mm… why not both?”
“Hm. Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”
The mattress sinks underneath your elbow as you prop yourself up, dropping your head over Spencer’s to kiss him. 
“Because you’re so smart, and you think it’s a great idea.”
He entertains your kiss for a moment. Just a moment.
“You sound sure of yourself.”
“Because I am!” You finally give in to your impulses, tangling your fingers in his hair and looking at him meaningfully. “It doesn’t make any sense for us to have not had sex. I don’t care about any of your weird, cryptic moral reasoning.”
He grabs your wrist carefully. 
“It is not moral,” he scoffs. “We haven’t even talked about it yet.”
“Really? Because I feel like we’ve talked about it a lot.” 
He begins to reply, but you realize you don’t want to get into a debate over whether you’ve technically talked about it yet. “I don’t even care! If that’s all that’s standing in your way, then let’s talk about it. Right now.”
Spencer sighs, his eyes darting between yours as he reaches up to cradle your cheek. 
“Fine. But I have things to say you’re not going to like.”
“So business as usual?”
He rolls his eyes. You allow yourself a tiny self-satisfied smirk, forever relishing in his poorly-hidden soft spot for your constant teasing. Spencer ignores this. Which is probably for the best. 
“I know you probably won’t see it this way, but—sex is different than everything else we’ve done so far. It can be really fun, obviously it feels good, it facilitates deeper feelings of connection—that’s all true. Which is why, in my opinion, it’s incredibly important that you be selective with who you sleep with. Because it’s so easy to do something you regret, and sex is vulnerable. It should always be with someone you trust and—and… care about.”
A pink flush stains his cheeks like watercolor as he stumbles over the last few words. It makes your heart flutter against the confines of your chest.
Maybe best not to think about the absence versus presence of certain four-letter words and what they may or may not mean. You’ll move on to more pressing matters and pretend like it doesn’t ache just a little in your whole body. 
You cover his hand with your own. 
“Are you going to break up with me anytime soon?”
Spencer’s eyes widen, filling with genuine horror and confusion. 
“What? No!”
“Are you going to cheat on me?”
“Absolutely not, I—”
“Then I’m not going to regret it. Issue resolved. Moving on.”
“Honey, I just want you to be 100% sure that I’m what you want.”
“Oh my god,” you groan, flopping onto your back once more. “I have begged you to sleep with me on multiple occasions. We have been dating for months and I liked you even longer before that. I think about it literally every time I see you. I don’t know how to be any surer.”
It’s quiet for a moment as you study the imaginary pattern on the ceiling. The rebuttal you’d been anticipating doesn’t come—instead, the mattress shifts next to you. Spencer enters your field of vision, now leaning over you with a little smile on his face that gives you butterflies. 
“Every time?”
“…yes, every time,” you agree, voice considerably thinner than it had been a moment ago. Spencer glances at your lips as he speaks. 
“Interesting. And what is it that you think about exactly?”
You groan again, attempting to roll facedown, but he pins your shoulder to the bed. The way he’s sweetly kissing down your cheek and jaw is infuriating because you know it’s a false pretense. 
“Ugh, I don’t know! Don’t make me answer that!”
“You said if talking about it was all that was standing in my way, we would talk about it. Now I want to talk about it. Come on,” he says, voice low and cloying against your throat as he attempts to tease the answer out of you. “Tell me what you think about when you think about us having sex.”
You let out a shaky breath at the feeling of his lips skimming your neck, hating how easily he can reduce you to this. 
“I… I always wonder what it will feel like. Sometimes I wonder if it will hurt.”
Spencer sighs, interrogation by way of seduction momentarily forgotten. You silently curse yourself for saying something so un-sexy. 
“It might, sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons we’ve held back. I… really don’t want to hurt you. I don’t even know if I can.”
You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you with more confidence than you feel. 
“Sometimes I worry about it, too. But I like you a lot more than it scares me. I still want to.”
He kisses your palm. 
“You’ll be okay. It doesn’t hurt for everyone, and even if it does, you’re resilient.”
“Exactly. So you have to get over yourself.”
Spencer laughs like he wasn’t expecting to, eyes sparkling as he regards you.  
“Yeah. Yeah, maybe I do.”
He’s smiling again as he leans down and kisses you—a slow, lingering thing which tastes like spearmint as you part your lips for him. 
“Please?” you whisper against him after a long moment. He hums, keeps kissing you. 
“What is it that you think you want? You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”
“Tell me,” you beg, chasing his lips. “Tell me what you’re going to do with me. We can talk about it. This is talking about it.”
Spencer exhales deeply, wedging a thigh between yours. Immediately you clamp around it, trying not to grind against him too overtly. 
“You want to know what I’d do to you?”
“Yes—” you paw at his jacket. Surprisingly, he doesn’t stop you from pushing it off. Your heart pounds. 
“Well… we both know how anxious you get,” he muses, pressing his lips so delicately to your fluttering pulse-point in emphasis, and then back to your mouth. His thigh pushes harder against you to supplant the absence of his lips as he speaks, though he kisses you sporadically and between sentences. “You’re hard to get out of your head when you’re nervous, you know that? I watch it happen. One minute you’re with me, and then you start overthinking, and getting self-conscious. The only thing that seems to relax you is letting me touch you—so first I would touch you like I’ve touched you before. I’d make sure you know how pretty you are and how good you deserve to feel.” You whimper inadvertently at his words, arching into him and grinding against his leg as he pauses to kiss the sensitive soft spot below your jaw. “You’re going to need to be really ready to let me in. Do you know what I mean by that?”
As he asks, he pushes his thigh against you harder. Your body responds immediately, arching into him and seeking more friction. When you squeak, he takes it as a no. 
“I mean I need you relaxed and wet. You’ll excuse my crude language.”
You pull at his tie, breathing heavier now and so turned on it’s almost painful. 
“What are you gonna do after that?”
“What else is there to do but fuck you after that?” he breathes. “You want me to tell you how I’d fuck you?”
Something about it makes you whine salaciously. You’ve heard him curse—you’ve even heard him talk about fucking you. But it feels more real now; when it’s low in your ear and you’re covertly undressing him and he’s pushing your shirt over your stomach promisingly. 
“Yes, please.” 
He hums against your jaw, nipping and brushing his lips over the skin as he considers. Leaves you waiting. 
“I would have to take my time with you. You’ll be overwhelmed. I know you think you won’t, but you will. I’m going to have to be so, so careful with you, angel. It’s going to drive me insane. But it will feel good for you.”
“Why careful? I don’t want that.”
He chuckles. A chill runs down your spine. 
“Yeah, you do. You’re going to want me to be careful when I’m—” he pauses, pressing his thumb to your bare lower tummy and dragging up to a spot below your belly button. He presses down lightly again. “Right here. Approximately.”
The surface of the sun has nothing on the temperature of your skin in this moment, as you writhe underneath him in both arousal and embarrassment. Mostly, burning need. You feel almost sick with it. 
“Please don’t make me wait anymore. Just do it, please, Spencer. I need it to be you, I don’t want it to be anyone else. I promise I’m ready.”
It’s silent for a moment. Your heart quickens. You sense his walls wearing away, his instinct to keep you intact for god knows what reason crumbling. He’s finally going to give you what you’ve been begging for. 
Spencer opens his mouth, eyes glimmering—
And then his phone rings. 
You both freeze—he melts dejectedly before you do, more accustomed to an ill-timed phone call and realizing the finality it can present. 
He’s breathing heavily against your neck, as if maybe whoever it is will just hang up. But the phone keeps ringing. 
“I’m sorry.”
Your stomach sinks as he sits up, grabbing his phone from the side table and rubbing circles on your inner thigh as he answers.
“This is Reid,” he says, lackluster. 
If you wanted, you could hear what Penelope is saying—but you don’t bother listening. It’s going to be a case. Spencer is about to leave. The details are his problem. 
“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”
He hangs up, tossing the phone onto the mattress and not speaking for a moment, just continuing to rub your leg apologetically. Watching you almost mournfully—taking in your disheveled hair, your likely blown-out pupils, the shirt pushed almost over your chest. 
“I have to go right now,” he finally manages with a heavy sigh, gently pulling your shirt back into place. 
You sit up, shedding all the hopes that had been building for the evening, and try to sound chipper—though all you feel is bitter disappointment that goes deeper than you understand. 
“I know. Go ahead, I can get a cab home.”
He frowns, running his hand over the back of your hair. 
“I don’t love the idea of you standing on the sidewalk waiting for a car in this part of town so late. Do you just want to stay here for the night and go home tomorrow?”
You force a smile. Great. So you’ll be spending the night in his bed after all—just without him. 
“Sure. Thanks.”
“Yeah.”
Neither of you are feeling particularly grateful. 
Soon you’re walking him to his own door. Both of you come to a stop in front. 
“I’m sorry,” he sighs again. 
“Spencer, it’s fine. It’s your job. You don’t need to apologize. You were very clear about this part when we started dating.”
“I know, but… it’s easier in theory than in practice.”
You smile. If Spencer is a reflection of you, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His hair is still messy from your fingers running through it and he’s missing his tie. You hope all his coworkers see and feel bad about taking him away from you. 
But it’s not their fault. You just want someone to blame. 
Instead you mould yourself to his body, wrapping around him like you belong there. He returns your embrace, pressing his lips into the crook of your shoulder and rubbing your back in that way he always does with you. 
In that moment, your affection for him becomes so profound it’s like a chemical reaction—everywhere he touches burns and you love him so fucking much it aches in every inch of your body the way your muscles do when you have a bad fever. Love is the most terrible of afflictions, you realize. It is a fever dream. It’s every fiber of your being screaming to tell him how you feel, to beg him on your knees not to go because you love him like a child loves a parent or a bee loves honeysuckle or the ocean loves the horizon. Pared down to your most basic components, the barest version of yourself, you require him. Your soul needs his soul. 
“Spencer?”
“Hm?” 
It’s nothing more than an absentminded hum against your skin. 
“I…”
Should you be looking him in the eye when you say this? Should you say it right before he has to leave? Just because you say it doesn’t change the fact that he’s about to be gone for several long days. Maybe this is a terrible time to admit something that suddenly feels so true and so consequential. 
He senses your internal conflict, pulling back despite your resistance and holding your face between his hands. 
“You what?” He murmurs, soft eyes bouncing back and forth between your own. Fuck—you feel so observed, now. Like he can read your mind. 
“I forget.”
FUUUUUUCK. 
Spencer blinks. Processes. You watch the disbelief crystallizing over his eyes like ice freezing over a lake. 
He knows. 
He knows you didn’t forget, and he probably knows what you were going to say, and he’s going to tell himself he was wrong to spare your dignity. 
Everything hurts when he kisses you. You wonder what regret tastes like. 
“Well, let me know if you remember.”
It’s too gentle and at the same time he can’t hide the edge with all the tenderness in the world. You nod as if in a trance, already looking forward to dissociating as you lie in bed and stare at the dark ceiling.
Two small goodbyes are exchanged, slightly stifled now, as if shared between drunk strangers who have sobered up and are mutually embarrassed about how candidly they’d interacted before. 
You close the door behind him, doing up all the locks, and meticulously flick every light switch in the apartment off before climbing into his bed—though you don’t really feel like you deserve to be there anymore.
But perhaps this is all an overreaction. It’s not like you owe it to him to say I love you, or anything—it was bad timing, anyway. And why can’t he say it? In fact, why hasn’t he said it? 
Maybe you have it all wrong. 
Maybe he doesn’t feel that way about you. 
You fall asleep before you allow these questions to make you sick. 
24 hours go by. 
24 hours go by and you really had meant to leave his apartment—it was just that you woke up late, and your phone was dead so you couldn’t call a car, so you charged it while you made breakfast, and then you ate, and then you decided to take a shower and wash your clothes, and then it was two in the afternoon and you hadn’t left yet and you decided to walk to the store and replenish the groceries you’d used up. 
Maybe you got a bit distracted looking at flowers and other beautiful things at the market and by the time you got home it was 5:00, so you decided to wait until seven to skip rush hour. And then eight, just to be sure. 
Before you know it, it’s midnight, and you’re dozing off in his bed again (teeth cleaned with the brush you’d bought at the store—maybe this whole situation hadn’t been entirely unwitting on your part.)
Throughout the day, you tried to let all your anxiety about the previous night melt away. If it’s something that needs to be addressed, Spencer will address it. Everything will work out in the end. That thought is how you’re able to doze off. 
You’re almost asleep when your phone lights up and begins buzzing on the side table. You wince as your eyes open, not adjusting well to the harsh bright display and unable to discern who’s even calling you at this hour. Stupidly, probably because you’re half asleep, you answer without checking. 
“Hello?”
Your voice is groggy, quiet with sleep. 
“Shit, did I wake you?”
“Spence?” you whisper, stomach flipping at the sound of his voice on the other line. You feel caught, still sleeping in his bed. 
“… yeah,” he chuckles. “Did you not check who was calling before you picked up?”
“I was asleep,” you pout. “Kinda.”
“Okay. Go back to sleep, honey. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
You sit bolt upright, phone balanced between tense fingers and speaking directly into the microphone. 
“No! No, I’m awake. What’s up? Why did you call?”
A longer stretch of silence—you’re too sleepy to comprehend what it might mean, though never too sleepy to worry about it. With a pang of pain, you recall your strange goodbye, the words you hadn’t said. 
“I just needed to hear your voice,” he sighs. You frown, staring at nothing in particular in the pitch black room. 
“Oh. Is everything okay?”
“As much as it can be.”
“Right.”
More quiet. You chew on the inside of your cheek, stricken with a sudden feeling of awkwardness that you haven’t had with Spencer in a while. 
“I’m sorry… I don’t really know what to say.”
“That’s okay,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice which makes you feel a bit better, “why don’t you tell me about your day? Or you can absolutely go back to sleep, if you’re too tired.”
“Don’t ask me about my day,” you whisper, flopping down on the bed once more. Shame seeps into your voice. He laughs. 
“What? Why?”
“Because if I tell you you’re going to think I’m super weird and you’re going to break up with me.”
Laughter tapers off into gentler tones. 
“I already think you’re super weird. It’s actually one of your most attractive qualities.”
Blood rushes to your cheeks. 
“But it’s like… borderline crazy.”
Immediately, he replies, “for better or worse, I also frequently find myself attracted to crazy.”
“Thank you for calling me crazy and super weird,” you grumble. 
“I also called you attractive twice. Tell me.”
When his tone takes on that easy, assertive quality, and it’s sort of raspy and low because it’s late and he’s been talking all day, and you can hear the lazy smile on his face—you imagine him laying on his hotel bed, arm slung over his eyes in the dark as he grins into the microphone—you have a very difficult time saying no. 
“Fine. Guess where I am right now.”
“Um, I would hope you’re in bed?”
You smile to yourself, basking in the victory of successfully throwing him off his game even slightly. 
“Guess whose bed.”
Silence. 
“What an interesting question.” That cocky smile, the low drawling is back, and you chew on your lip, ignoring the shiver that runs down your spine. “If it’s not mine or yours, we’re going to have issues.”
“But if it is yours? You’re not going to call the police on me?”
“Why would I call the police? To tell them there’s a pretty girl in my bed and I don’t want her there?”
“To tell them your psychopathic girlfriend broke into your apartment and might be holding hostages there.”
Spencer laughs; a brittle, drawn out thing, flat and quiet as the desert.
“If you were a psychopath, calling the cops would be a waste of time. I would handle you myself.” The idea of being handled has your thighs clenching. “But—yeah, don’t invite anyone else in.” More humor finds its way into his voice, momentarily relieving some tension that had sneakily begun to build. “Having people in my space makes me anxious.”
“But not me?” Your whisper is half flirtatious, half insecure. Spencer’s reply is soft, as if he’s picking up on this from hundreds of miles away.
“No, not you. You are always the exception.”
“Good,” you say, cheeks aching as you half-bury your warm face into his pillow. “Because I made myself really comfortable. You have a nice shower, by the way.”
Spencer groans. 
“You’re killing me.”
“What? What did I do!”
“Don’t talk to me about my bed and my shower. I might start to think you’re intentionally being a brat.”
“You asked me about my day! I’m just telling you what I did!”
But you’re also intentional teasing him for sure.  After a pause, he sighs in defeat. 
“You’re right. I did do that. Tell me what else happened.”
“Well,” you begin, all too eager, “I had to put my clothes in the dryer after I got out, so I borrowed some of yours. But then they were way comfier than mine, so after I went to the store I put them back on, and—”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?” you frown. 
“Tell me what this is.”
“I—I don’t know what you mean.”
Lying to a profiler is usually pointless. 
“I’m not stupid, sweetheart. Tell me why you keep talking about my shower and my bed and my clothes.”
Caught red-handed. Your skin heats up. 
“I don’t know. I miss you.”
He hums in a way that blurs the line between sympathetic and patronizing. Even through the phone you can feel the bass of it in your bones.  It changes the frequency you’re vibrating at. It’s hypnotic. 
“But that’s not really why you’re being intentionally provocative, is it?”
“No,” you admit quietly. “I’m still upset you had to go last night.”
“So you’re frustrated and you’re taking it out on me?”
Your brow furrows. Well, when he puts it like that…
“I’m not taking anything out on you.”
“I think you are. And I don’t appreciate that, because I’m on your side, honey. Do you think I prefer being in a hotel bed by myself or being in my bed with you?”
Somehow, he makes you feel like a scolded child. But he makes it appealing in ways you don’t understand. 
“Your bed with me,” you murmur, skin prickling with the coldness of his absence even as you curl under the blanket. 
“Right. So why don’t you tell me what I can do for you right now, instead of punishing me for things that are beyond my control?”
“I wasn’t punishing you,” you mutter. 
“No? You weren’t intentionally talking about using my shower and sleeping in my bed and putting on my clothes so that I’d have to think about what I can’t have right now?”
“I—”
“Believe me when I tell you I have been thinking about what I can’t have, all day. Your efforts are entirely redundant and you can’t say anything about yourself that is even close to as dirty as the frankly disrespectful thoughts I’ve been having about you for seventeen hours.”
The lack of air is making you so dizzy your vision goes gray at the edges. 
“What… what thoughts?”
“None that you need to concern yourself with.”
“You can’t just say something like that and then not tell me!” you insist. He’s obviously giving you a taste of your own medicine and it’s fair but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. 
“I can do whatever I want,” Spencer corrects cooly in a way that pisses you off beyond belief because he’s right. It triggers some adolescent immaturity within you—a desire to get back at him, so to speak. He wants intentionally provocative? He can have it. 
“Fine. Then so can I. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it even if I could.”
“Spencer,” you warn. “If you don’t tell me what you were thinking I’m gonna—” you look around the room for ammo. “I’m gonna look through your nightstand!”
“Go ahead. I’ll warn you, it’s not very interesting.”
“Sounds like what someone who has something hide would say,” you mumble, crawling across the mattress through tangled sheets and using your phone flashlight to open the drawer. 
Spencer is patient and silent as you take in its contents—a small blue leather-bound notebook (full of what looks like Russian), a fountain pen, a glasses case, various kinds of vitamins, and—
“Spencer Reid,” you say, dragging out his name and pretending nothing is fluttering in your stomach, “what are these?”
“I don’t know. I can’t see what you’re referring to.”
“Take a wild guess.”
“Oh, I have one. But I’d like to hear you say it.”
You realize you may have gotten yourself in deeper than you meant to by going through his stuff. Well—they don’t say karma is a bitch for nothing. 
“What are you doing with a box of condoms?” 
He chuckles and you feel it in your whole body, warm as you stretch across his mattress and eye the box like it might jump out at you. 
“Those are years old. I’ve used three since I bought them.”
“Don’t tell me that,” you whine. “I don’t wanna think about all the other women you’ve seduced.”
“You wanted them to be for you, huh?” 
You flush. Honestly you hadn’t even thought about that. 
“I… I don’t know. I kind of just assumed…”
It’s silent for a second and you frown, realizing you hadn’t even considered protection when you’d imagined sleeping with him before. 
“You assumed what, honey?” he asks, voice soft. 
“It’s dumb. I can’t tell you.”
“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to think it’s dumb, I promise.”
You chew on your lip, letting your eyes unfocus on the box as you muster the courage to be honest. 
“Whenever I imagined it… we didn’t… use anything.”
The words make you cringe even as you’re saying them. So does the quiet that follows. 
“When you imagine us sleeping together, we don’t use a condom?”
“Ah!” The phone drops to the mattress as you cover your ears and roll onto your side, curling into yourself once more. “You didn’t have to say it! You make me sound so weird!”
“It’s not weird,” he laughs, because he can probably imagine exactly what you just did, “I just wanted to make sure I was understanding you. That said… we would definitely use protection.”
“Do we have to?”
The quiet words take even you by surprise—and they seem to stun Spencer as well. Several false starts are punctuated by a sigh as he gathers his thoughts. 
“We really should, baby. That’s the kind of thing we need to take seriously.”
“But you’re… you’re good, right?”
Thankfully he picks up on your meaning. 
“I am. I wouldn’t touch you if I weren’t.”
“And I’m good. So...”
“Hm. And has anyone ever explained to you where babies come from?”
You groan in frustration. 
“Spencer, I’m being serious! There are ways to negate that.”
“Honey,” he murmurs, “I understand that. But it would be irresponsible of me to say yes. We can talk about it in the future, but—”
“I’m telling you it’s already dealt with. The chances of an accidental pregnancy are slim to none.”
The new information hangs in the air for a moment until Spencer speaks—to your surprise, his voice is low and humorous. 
“That is… good to know. But even so—I’m setting a dangerous precedent if I always let you get exactly what you want.”
“Is it such a bad thing that I just wanna—I wanna know what it feels like? You don’t want that?”
“That’s not what I said. I want to know exactly what you feel like. I’m just hesitant to give in so quickly because it makes me look weak.”
You laugh breathlessly, caught between being turned on by the first part of his sentence and amused by the sarcastic second half. Your thighs clench and your hand absentmindedly wanders between them. 
“You know what I was thinking about?” you ask. Spencer hums curiously. “I was thinking about when you let me, um… when you let me touch you how you touch me.” He hums again, but you can hear the amused curve of a smile in it now.
“When you had your mouth all full of me and you looked so pretty?”
“When I—yeah,” you agree, too caught up to deny his compliment as your fingers brush your most sensitive spot through clothing. “And  how you got me all messy after. And I was wondering what it would feel like… inside me.”
He sucks in a breath. Your legs brush against each other and you twist slightly as you pretend like you’re not touching yourself just a little bit. 
“You want me to come inside you?”
“Yeah,” you whisper, brain short-circuiting at the way those words sound in his voice. 
On the other side of the line, Spencer isn’t doing a fantastic job of thinking clearly either. His dick is half-hard already and it’s only getting worse with each little noise you make that you don’t seem to realize you’re making. 
“Really? That would be very messy, baby. I’m surprised that’s what you want.”
“But I really want it,” you breathe. He’s not even looking as he slips his hand under the waistband of his pajamas and palms himself, his other hand rubbing tiredly over his face as his phone rests on his chest. This was not how he intended for this call to go, believe it or not—but he’s here now. 
“Yeah? Is that why you’re touching yourself right now?”
You go silent—which is more or less exactly the reaction Spencer had been expecting. Patiently he waits for you to deny it, in three, two—
“’M not.”
Now, he could explain how he knows that’s a lie. How your breathing pattern changed, and your voice got softer and airier, and how you started speaking with smaller words in fragmented sentences. But he doesn’t feel like explaining any of that. 
“I know that’s not true,” he murmurs. “You know what? It wasn’t fair to get you all worked up last night and then leave. I don’t want you frustrated, honey. I want you to do whatever you need to do.”
You make a little gasping noise, and Spencer can imagine the way your back would arch when you did it. His own hips buck slightly as his dick twitches under his fingers. 
“Where are you touching?”
“Um—over my clothes.”
Cute. 
“Go under them for me. Tell me how it feels when you’re touching yourself like that.”
It takes a moment, in which all he hears is the rustling of fabric, until you’re whispering, “feels… it feels good. I wish you were here.”
He inhales, freeing his cock and squeezing the base. 
“I know. Just listen to my voice, pretty. I’m right here.”
Spencer allows himself a few slow tugs as he imagines what’s happening in his bed. You make a squeaking noise, like a held-back moan, and his eyes screw shut. 
“I need them inside,” you whine, and he knows you’re referring to his fingers—the ones currently stroking his own leaking cock. 
“You can use your own, just give yourself a minute first. Remember what I said about needing to be ready?”
“I am ready��” judging by the surprised chirp you interrupt yourself with, you’ve proven yourself right. What surprises Spencer is the weak sound of disappointment you make next. “Spence, it doesn’t feel the same.”
“We’re different sizes, honey. Your hands aren’t as big as mine. But you can still make it feel good.” 
He almost says, 90% of the nerves in the vaginal canal are located in the lower third—in other words, within approximately 2.36 inches from the opening, which you can most certainly reach—but he refrains. He’s not sure if that’s good dirty talk. 
“You have a really sensitive spot about three inches up, right in front. It’s going to feel a little different than the rest of you when you touch it. I want you to try and find it for me, okay?”
“Okay,” you breathe, ever-eager to please even from a great distance. There’s a quiet moment. “I can’t—I don’t think I can r—oh,”
The moan is so pretty Spencer can’t help speeding up the motion of his hand, hissing slightly as his fingers brush against the angry tip with every pump. 
“Did you find it?”
“Yeah,” you whine, a weak, high-pitched thing. “Oh my god.”
“Be gentle,” he warns with some effort as his own hips jump slightly. “You’re really sensitive there. If you’re not careful you’ll make yourself sore.”
“I don’t care—holy shit—” the way your voice rises and tightens to a squeak at the end has Spencer moaning as he fucks his fist. A black hole forms and warps time, turning every minute into a second and every second into an infinity until he has no idea how much time is going by. He drags his thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his cock and whining as his jaw drops at the feeling. “Oh my god, Spencer,” in that same strained, high voice. “’M gonna—ah!”
He gets the general sentiment. 
“What, baby? You’re gonna make yourself come all over your fingers? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“Mhm!”
“Yeah, I bet you are. It feels good, huh?”
“Yes,” you cry. 
“See? You don’t need my fingers to feel good. Mine barely fit, you know that? I have to hold your fucking hips down whenever I put my fingers in you because you can’t stop squirming. I don’t know how you think you’re going to take my cock.”
“Spencer!” 
He knows. 
“Come, baby. Let me hear you.”
The delicate sounds you make as you bring yourself to orgasm tip him over the edge of his own—grunting as he comes all over his fist. 
“Jesus,” he strains under his breath, the word dragging out into two long syllables as his hips buck involuntarily and cum drips down his knuckles. He’s lightheaded and he’s created a mess and it all happened so quickly. “Fuck,” he breathes, a rasping chuckle as he reaches for the towel he’d dropped on the bed after his shower earlier. “You conscious over there?”
“I’m conscious,” you slur, breathing heavily. “I’ve never had an orgasm by myself before.”
“Are you proud of yourself?” Spencer smiles, wiping his hand off and making sure he’s otherwise clean. “You should be. I am.”
He’s barely kidding. 
“I’ll be proud when I can do it without your help,” you tease. 
“But I’ll always want to help you with that.” His already warm face flushes further as he goes over what he’d said. “Sorry I was so vulgar.”
You laugh. He blushes even more. 
“Are you? I think you secretly love being vulgar.”
“I don’t know why! I have no idea where it comes from. I would never speak that way in any other context. I should probably work on that. Sometimes I look back on the things I say and I’m genuinely appalled.”
“Well, don’t stop on my account. Personally I enjoy it.”
“Yeah, I think I’m corrupting you. You probably shouldn’t enjoy it.”
The truth of it weighs heavy on his mind, but he’s pretty sure his voice alone doesn’t betray that and you can’t sense it through the phone. 
“Oh, my god. Do not do that falling on your sword shit. I like being corrupted by you. If you stop I’ll be very upset.”
“Well god forbid you get upset,” he teases gently. Idly he wonders if the reason he’s suddenly feeling so depressed is because his cortisol levels were already high from the case, and then he jarred his system with an orgasm, spiking his dopamine and ultimately causing it to plummet without the oxytocin release that post-coital physical contact would usually provide. 
Or if it was something else. It could also be something else. 
For the millionth time, he wishes he was with you. Part of him also wants to go to sleep. But mostly he wishes he was with you. 
A comfortable silence settles over the conversation. In the ditch between words, you’re mapping constellations in the texture of Spencer’s ceiling. If you squeeze your eyes almost shut, you can imagine it really is the night sky. You can imagine he’s really here. 
You think about what he said—his apparently mindless vulgarity. Did it mean anything? Or was he just rambling to get you off?
“Spencer?” you murmur. 
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
He sounds earnest, perhaps a little tired, as he replies, “always,” through the little metal rectangle on your chest. He likes me and my questions are important to him, you repeat to yourself silently as you work up the strength. 
“If Penelope hadn’t called, last night… were you going to have sex with me?” 
Your lip tastes like his toothpaste as you chew it. Spencer sucks in a breath of air like he’s about to speak—and lets it fizzle out like foam on a carbonated drink. 
“I don’t know,” he finally admits, lamely. “That wasn’t my plan, but you can be extremely convincing when you want to be.”
“But why can’t it be your plan?” It’s an almost whine, pouty and childish—but the next words are quiet and pained. “Is it something I’m doing wrong?”
“No, no! It’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s—it’s complicated. It’s a me thing.”
Such trite words—such a ubiquitous, simple excuse sounds almost comical from his mouth when you know he’s capable of all the eloquence in the world. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s ridiculous. 
“Okay. Let me simplify this for you,” you begin with an uncharacteristic assertiveness that surprises even you. “I want to have sex with you. Either we are going to have sex or we’re not. So your future branches in two diverging paths. In one, we have sex, and then we keep having sex. In the other we never have sex ever. If you want to ever have the privilege of fucking me, then we just have to do it. Otherwise it simply will never happen. And I’m not eternally patient, Reid.”
Go me, you think, slightly breathless from your monologue. 
“Watch your mouth,” he says dryly. Something about the chastisement makes your stomach flip and your whole body tingle. “When you talk to me you call me Spencer. I will also accept Doctor Reid.” You wrestle down a smile, refusing to let him change the subject. A delayed sigh from him sobers up the conversation. “You know what I want. I’ve been very clear with you about that. But…”
“But…?”
Another sigh. A deeper, shuddering sigh, like his breath is searching for balance. Like Spencer is in a precarious position for which he was unprepared. 
“But—but to be completely honest… I worry that you’ll regret choosing me. And I know virginity is a social construct and I’m not implying that your worth will somehow be diminished if we have sex but regardless of my views on virginity as a construct, having sex for the first time can be weird and scary and it’s incredibly intimate and I don’t want you to regret your first time like I regret mine because you chose the wrong person.”
The words come at you so rapid-fire it takes you a moment to process them. And aside from all the ways you want to reassure him that you will not regret choosing him—that you could never, ever regret anything about him—one thing stands out. 
“You regret your first time?” 
Something between a scoff and a sigh travels through the line. You can tell he’s not annoyed at you for asking so much as he’s flustered himself with all his own words as he occasionally does. 
“Yeah. Yes. Sometimes I do. The person—she didn’t… like me as much as I liked her. And I was really, really in love with her, and she knew that and she knew she wasn’t in love with me—or maybe she was, I don’t know—but my point is, when one person likes the other more than the other person like them, things get complicated. And however you feel about me—that’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t want you to feel bad if we don’t feel exactly the same way about each other. I understand that this is newer for you, it’s different, I—I just don’t want us to do something we can’t undo because I don’t want to relive that. And I’m not saying it will never happen but I just don’t want you to make this choice when… when right now, I think we’re in different places emotionally. Regardless of that, I want you to choose the right person. I don’t want you to choose me and then find out that we feel differently after we sleep together and leave you feeling like you signed up for something you didn’t understand. I’m sorry. Maybe telling you this is selfish. But I’ve been thinking about it and trying to ignore it and I think I just have to be completely honest.”
Your ears ring like Spencer just fired a blank right into the microphone. Like you just got backhanded across the face and now you have the world’s worst case of whiplash. 
Every finger is numb and your blood is so cold it feels blue as it slithers thick through your veins. 
What you want to do is scream. What you want to do is go back to last night and stop yourself from almost telling him I love you, slap yourself and keep your cards a little closer to your chest. Because now he knows, and he doesn’t feel the same. 
You want to scream bloody murder. 
But when you try, when you unhinge your jaw and part your chapped lips and expect a bellow to come hurdling up the corridor of your throat with so much force it rattles your bones, all that falls out is a small, “oh.”
Maybe that’s worse. 
Spencer doesn’t reply. You hate yourself for feeling obliged to fill the silence. 
“I didn’t realize you…”
I didn’t realize that you don’t love me back. 
I didn’t realize I like you more than you like me. 
I didn’t realize you’d tell me to masturbate in your fucking bed and then drop this not even five minutes later. 
If Spencer Reid was able to talk to you over the phone with the same amount of affection and familiarity as always, like everything was still okay, knowing you love him and he doesn’t love you the whole time, he is not who you thought he was. 
“I’m sorry,” he lamely says again, like it could ever help. 
More silence. Now you can’t bring yourself to speak, so Spencer does. 
“I realize how awkward this is. I really didn’t mean to put you in this position. Especially not over the phone when I—god, I’m stupid. I’m sorry. But can we—can we talk about this in person when I get back? Please?”
Is that what grownups do? Is the proper etiquette for him to take you out to dinner and explain why he’s not in love with you? Is he going to break up with you?
What does one even wear to a breakup date?
“Okay,” you whisper. Your eyes sting, your everything stings, like you’ve been wrapped in a shroud of briar. Sheets that were soft a moment ago feel like sandpaper on open wounds. You feel like an open wound. 
Spencer sighs. It’s a sound of relief that confuses and hurts you even more. 
“Okay. I—okay. Thank you. Um—I’ll let you go back to sleep, now.”
“Okay,” you repeat—as if any of this were okay. But you can’t keep being that stupid girl who feels it all so much harder, who loves easily and begs to be loved in return, too naive to assume that someone who treats her so kindly might not reciprocate her feelings. It has to be okay, because if it’s not, you’re silly and dramatic and you’re just proving him right. 
“Goodnight,” Spencer whispers, and you can’t help but feeling that it’s the last time you’ll ever hear those words from his mouth while you’re in his bed. And he’s not even fucking here.
So you pull the blanket a little higher. You let your tears stain his pillow because they’ll be invisible by the morning. It will be like they were never here. Like you were never here. 
“Goodnight.”
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turtleblogatlast · 9 hours
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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Twst Dormleaders + Jamil Accidentally Call MC (Y/N) a Mudblood During an Argument
A/N: This is a Harry Potter AU. I would highly suggest reading the previous: “Twst boys and their Blood Status”, to really grasp the understanding of this concept because if you don’t you may or may not be confused. If you aren’t familiar with the term “Mudblood”, it’s a very offensive word that pure-blood wizards and half blood wizards (ironically enough) use against muggleborns. The meaning is “dirty blood”. Now I know I said in the previous post that most of the boys would never discriminate against blood status, and that’s true but sometimes people can say what they don’t mean, especially when they’re angry. Now I might make a part 2 of this post as redemption headcanons on how they apologize, idk. Now just to clarify MC (y/n) is not dating them but the boys do have a secret crush on them and they’re friends.
Riddle Rosehearts
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You two were arguing about how you are apparently getting “lazy” with your school work. But in your defense you weren’t being lazy because you had a lot on your plate, being prefect of Ramshackle and the “beast tamer”.
You two were in the Heartstabyl Lounge area studying because he wanted to help you
You kept picking up your phone every five minutes to answer texts from your friends or professors and Riddle was getting annoyed with you every passing minute.
“Prefect, don’t you know how rude it is to be on your phone when someone is speaking to you?” He says tapping his gloved fingers on the table with an annoyed expression.
“Hm?” You say while scrolling and not making eye contact.
Riddle rolls his eyes. “You’re supposed to be paying attention. I’m helping you for a reason. On your last potions exam you received a 70%. That’s extremely disgraceful for not only just for a regular student, but also a prefect!”
You finally put your phone down and make eye contact with him. “Will you just relax? A 70% isn’t bad. It’s still passing, and besides that topic was so hard to learn. Will you just cut me some slack?”
Riddle sees red when you say a mere 70% “isn’t bad”. He stands up and begins to raise his voice while making eye contact with you. “You can’t be serious Y/n! You’re supposed to be setting an example! Why are you even a prefect if you can’t even have the motivation to work hard and have perseverance! And besides the topic wasn’t even difficult, it’s just you’re not even trying!”
You get angry and stand up to meet his eye level. “Not trying? NOT TRYING? You have no idea what my life is like everyday! To have an idiot headmaster to make you do his job for him, solve problems that aren’t even your fault and stop overblots without dying! Of course you would be inconsiderate of my situation and scold me! Listen just because your mother was hard on you with your academics, doesn’t mean you have to act that way with me!”
Riddle loses it
“YOU’RE RIGHT, I WOULDN’T EXPECT A MUDBLOOD LIKE YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF SUCCEEDING IN COMPLEX WIZARD ACADEMICS!”
There was a pause
You stare at him for a long time without blinking
Riddle realizes what came out of his mouth, he knows that was he said was extremely below the belt. He clears his throat and averts his eyes.
Then his eyes widen with horror, a sight he was dreaded to see. Your eyes went red and glossy. Tears began to flow from your eyes.
“Y/n I-.” He was cut off by you swiftly packing your things and hastily leaving the room.
Riddle quietly curses himself. How stupid can he be? He made people cry before. But he’d never thought in a million years that he would make the person he secretly loved cry. Especially using….THAT word. He wants to make it up to you. But how?
Leona Kingscholar
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You were angry at the fact that Crowley made it YOUR responsibility to make sure that Leona was going to class on time and participate in his studies.
Not only that, but you were angry at the fact that you barely got to spend time with him due to his excessive sleeping schedule. At first, you didn’t mind helping Leona get to class on time or that he likes to sleep. But after a while, it became a chore to “babysit” the lazy lion.
You were on your way to the botanical gardens, Leona’s self claimed napping spot, to tell him he needs to be in class.
You found him
“Leona.” You gently shook him.
He shifts and turns to you with a half open glare.
He lightly growls. “Go away Herbivore. Can’t you see I’m napping?”
You roll your eyes. “Yes I can see that and you shouldn’t be. You are meant to be in class.”
He ignores you
You huff in frustration and gently kick his side. “Up. Now.”
Leona growls loudly this time and sits up.
“Don’t you have any idea of how much this situation affects me? What do you get out of sleeping all the time? I want to spend time with you and you’re not making any effort on your part.” You say while crossing your arms.
Leona rolls his eyes
“Tsk. You’re such a nuisance. Not everything is about you. Now run along and play with the other annoying first year brats.” He turns his head while shooing his hand dismissively.
Your eyes widen.
“Are you kidding me?! Do you know how much pressure I’m in? You are so selfish! You act like you’re the king of everything and don’t even give a damn about things around you! You’re being heartless!
“Just leave, you’re being an annoying mudblood but you don’t seem to be aware of that.”
“W-what?….” You say quietly and shocked staring at him.
“I said leave!” He says shifting back into his previous sleeping position turning away from you.
You look down and tears make their way fast down your cheeks.
“F-fine…I’ll go.” You say trying to sound like you weren’t crying but failed.
You turned on your heel and quickly made your way out of the botanical gardens without looking back.
When you left Leona instantly felt a weight on him….a feeling called guilt. He curses himself and shifts his laying position to him now laying on his back looking up. He couldn’t believe that he just disrespected the one he secretly fancied. He knows he’ll get a scolding from Ruggie later.
Azul Ashengrotto
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You and Azul were partnered for a potion project for Professor Crewel’s Alchemy class.
Many students didn’t like working with Azul due to his reputation, however, you were fine with working with him because you seen him from a different angle.
However with intelligence comes with a touch of arrogance.
Azul had a bad habit of being arrogant because of how intelligent he was. And just because you were friends with him, there was no exception.
You both were in one of the labs working on the potion
“Stop. Stop. Stop. You’re adding too much.” He says while blocking the top of the cauldron with his hands.
You look at him annoyed. He’s been doing this for the past 15 minutes. You were confident that you were following the instructions carefully.
“No I’m not.” “Yes you are.” “No.” “Yes.”
That went on for some time.
You were finally fed up
“Why are you so obnoxious, Azul? Why do you think you’re superior to me?” Azul rubs his temple annoyed. “That’s not the case. I’m just simply correcting you of your mistakes. That’s all prefect.” He says through his teeth.
“I barely make mistakes! I’m just as capable as you are when it comes to magic! Hell I’m just as skilled as you are!”
Azul then chuckles lowly.
“Why are you laughing?” You say with a hint of venom in your voice.
“Prefect, let’s not over-exaggerate and make unrealistic claims.” He says arrogantly as he mixes the potion.
“And what exactly are you implying?” He pauses and collects himself before he answers.
“Let’s just say you have a lot of room for improvement. Compared to you I am more gifted and boarder line perfect at my studies.”
You retaliated
“Well I can say the same for you.” He pauses and looks at you. “Oh? Do tell?”
“While you have intelligence you sure lack at physical education. Not exactly what I would call “perfect”. Azul’s eyebrow twitches when you mention the one subject in school he sucks at.
Physical education was a really touchy subject for Azul. He was constantly bullied because he was always in last place. He sucked at it when he was a kid, and he sucked at it now.
You smirk in satisfaction when you see his reaction and you continue to add ingredients to the cauldron.
“At least I’m not a headmaster’s lapdog!” He says in defense.
You stop what you’re doing and turn to him. “At least I’m not a scheming, lying sad excuse of a house warden who can’t let go of the past!”
“AT LEAST I’M NOT A FILTHY MUDBLOOD WHO DOESN’T BELONG HERE!”
You look at him with wide eyes.
Azul immediately realizes his mistake
“Y/n please I-.” He tries to walk over to you but you walk away. He hears faint noises of whimpers and sniffles coming from you. It was clear that you were crying. He sighs angry at himself
“Why did I do that?….now they’ll never love me back….”
Kalim Al Asim
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You two were hanging out in the Scarabia dorm lounge. Kalim had tea and snacks laid out and you both were talking for hours.
Kalim wanted to ask you questions about the world you came from
Some were easy to answer but some of them were on the touchy side. Such as “What were your parents like?” Or “Were you happy with your old self before you came here?” Etc.
You were slightly annoyed but didn’t say anything
Then suddenly Kalim asks
“Do you know why the mirror chose you? I mean after all your boarder line just a regular human with the exception of a little bit magical ancestry.”
This question made you set your teacup down. You didn’t know why. So many people asked you this question. You didn’t know why you were randomly taken away from a world you were content in. The more you thought about it, the less special you thought you were.
“I-I don’t know Kalim, can you please not ask me that again?”
Kalim looks at you surprised
“But why? It’s just a simple question.”
“No it’s not, just drop it okay?” You say averting your eyes
“Oh I should’ve known….mudblood’s tend to be really sensitive about their feelings.”
Now it’s to be mentioned that Kalim didn’t know what the word “mudblood” actually meant. All he knew was it was a term used to address muggle-borns. In fact he thought it was a new use of slang because he over heard some other pure-blood wizards use that term in class. He didn’t know that it would offend you.
You freeze and slowly meet his gaze
Kalim looks at you. “What?”
“Don’t you EVER call me that again!” And with that, you get up and angrily march your way out of the lounge passing Jamil on your way out.
Kalim looks at Jamil shocked. “Did I say something wrong?”
Jamil shakes his head disapprovingly while rubbing his temple and mumbles, “Why are you such an idiot?”
Jamil Viper
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You wanted Jamil to take a break. That’s all you wanted.
He was over-working himself because he felt obligated to. Even Kalim told him to take a break. But he simply wouldn’t accept it.
He wasn’t answering your texts and even calls, so you made your way to Scarabia
You searched for him everywhere until you caught sight of him making his way to his bedroom.
“Jamil!” I speed walked up to him and he meets your gaze with a tired and bored expression.
He exhales sharply. “What do you want Prefect. I’m quite busy.”
“That’s exactly why I need to talk to you. Why are you making yourself busy all the time? You haven’t been answering your phone.”
He rubs his temple annoyed. “And here I thought you needed something important……if you came here to waste my time, leave. I have no time for nonsense.”
He turns to enter his room but you grab his arm to stop him. “Why are you being like this. I just want to help-“
“Well you aren’t! So stop trying and leave! I don’t know why you would care about a servant like me!”
You were taken aback by his harsh response
“Is this what this is about?! I don’t care about your status!” You say. “I just want to spend time with you that’s all! You don’t have to be at Kalim’s side for every little thing!”
“WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SITUATION AND HARD WORK, YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A MUDBLOOD!”
Pause
You let go of his arm and take a few steps back
“Wait hold on I-.” Jamil tries to say, but you left teary eyed.
Jamil curses under his breath and goes into his room. His sits down on his bed and reflects on what just happened while putting his hands through his hair.
“Now they’ll definitely choose Kalim over me now…”
Vil Schoenheit
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“Honestly Prefect, do you always leave looking like this?”
Vil has been scolding you for the past ten minutes because of the state of your messy attire.
You were rolling your eyes because of how dramatic he was being. After all, it was just your tie being undone and there were just a few strands of hair out of place.
“Stop being over-dramatic, Vil. It’s not a big deal.”
His eyes widen in disbelief. “It is VERY much a big deal. If you’re going to be a Prefect, you need to look your best. Your academics not only reflect your dorm and school but also how well kept you keep yourself!”
He begins to fix your hair and tie but you were being uncooperative and moved a lot.
“Stop moving!” “Get your hands off me!”
He stops and looks at you. “So you would rather look like a filthy potato and have me just leave you like this?”
“I want you stop acting like you’re my mother!” You say defensively.
“Well if you dressed yourself properly, I wouldn’t have to!” He retaliates.
“Do you take pride in being a stuck up person?!” You yell back.
“And do YOU take pride in being an unfashionable mudblood?” He says calmly while glaring down at you.
You look at him shocked with wide eyes
His glare softens and he clears his throat realizing his rude mistake.
“Prefect….listen…” Before he could finish you take off.
Rook , who was listening to the whole conversation, of course, seen you leaving and went up to Vil.
“That was a very unbeautiful thing to say, Roi de Poison. You have to apologize.”
Vil exhales sharply, “I know….i just wanted to help…I just wanted to show them how beautiful they are. But they won’t let me…”
Rook sighs, “By calling them the forbidden word?”
Vil’s gaze is down
“At this rate….they’ll never give me a chance…I have to make it up to them.”
Idia Shroud
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You wanted him to leave his room. It was a very unhealthy life style in your opinion.
You guys always spent time in his room all because he didn’t want to leave due to his anti-social lifestyle.
Well this time, you wanted to change things a bit
You went to Ignihyde dorm, and you made your way to his room. You knocked on the door and he answered it.
“H-Hey Prefect.”
“Why don’t we hang out outside today. It’s a great cloudy day out.”
He pauses before he answers
“W-why?”
“Well, it’s different and you could get out more- “No.” He cuts you off.
“No? But why?”
He rolls his eyes. “In case you hadn’t noticed Prefect, I don’t do well with….outside.”
You cross your arms. “Well it wouldn’t hurt to try. Come on.” You take his arm and lead him outside despite his protests.
You both make your way outside of the dorm and go into the main court yard of the school.
“See? Isn’t this better?” You say with a smile.
He shakes his head slowly while looking at the ground.
You both go sit down on a bench and begin talking.
“Hey Prefect!” You look up and see Ace and Deuce. “Hey!” You smile and wave them over.
Idia rolls his eyes in annoyance. He hated interacting with other people, not only that, he was annoyed at the fact that Ace and Deuce always was interrupting your guys’s hang out time. Whether if it was showing up in person or texting. He was always jealous of them. Couldn’t they go one day without talking to you?
“So whatcha guys doing?” Asked Ace.
“Well we are just sitting here and talking.” You replied with a smile. “May we join you?” Deuce asked.
“Sur- “No.” Idia interrupts you. You look at him confused. “Huh?” Ace says. Deuce speaks up. “So is that a yes or- “It’s a no.” Idia says passive aggressively.
Ace and Deuce look at you confused. “Well…okay…see you later y/n.” Ace says awkwardly and leaves with Deuce. After they leave, you turn to Idia and glare.
“What the hell was that? Why did you do that?”
“Why do YOU feel the need to be at their aid every moment of every day?” He replies hostile.
“What’s your problem? Are you still mad at the fact that I made you come outside?” “No….its not that!” “Then what is it?! You’re being extremely weird.” “And you’re being an inconsiderate mudblood!”
“No YOU’RE the one who’s-….wait…what?”
He pauses and averts his eye realizing what he said. “Um…”
Your blood boils as you stand up. “Fine, you can go back to your room. I’m sorry that a mudblood like me wasted your time.” You hastily leaves the area.
“Wait hold on-.” He was left with his own thoughts. “……Ortho is not gonna like this.” He says quietly to himself.
Malleus Draconia
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Malleus wanted to spend time with you so badly. However, your rigorous schedule wouldn’t allow it.
He would always try to make plans with you, like getting ice cream together, going on nightly walks, or even studying; but you always politely declined
The more times you canceled, the more annoyed and angry Malleus got.
Well he had enough and decided to confront you late at night. He got Silver to tell you to meet him at the court yard.
Once you got there, you were met with a very angry dragon fae.
“Oh Tsunotaro, did you need something?”
“I’m not liking the fact that you’re being so casual about this, Child of Man.”
You look at him confused, you genuinely didn’t know what he was talking about, you were completely oblivious towards his words.
“Have I done something wrong?”
He exhales so sharply in frustration that you could’ve sworn you seen smoke coming out of him. You know that he’s extremely upset.
“You always decline my plans with you. And yet you have the audacity to be so naive about it. Not to mention, I see you around those first years, you claim that you’re “busy” but you’re spending time with them….” He glares at you with his arms crossed. Then it finally hit you, was he jealous?
“Tsunotaro, listen-.”
“No, I believe that it is YOU who will listen, Child of Man. I go out of my way to make some time with you and this is how you repay me?”
You get defensive. “YOU have to make time??? I have to make time for so much! You have no idea what my life is like! I’m sorry that you’re so clingy to understand, but I have a life too. And besides I wouldn’t exactly call my time with Ace and Deuce “hanging out”, I would call it “babysitting”, because that’s exactly what I do everyday! Babysit! So I’m sorry if you’re so clingy and needy to the point where you can’t understand that I can’t babysit and entertain you too!”
He takes great offense to your words. Is that really what you see him as? A somebody to entertain for a while and drop them whenever you felt like it?
He glares at you. “Perhaps Sebek was correct….all of you mudbloods are the same.” He says lowly enough for you to hear him.
Your glare disappears and you stare at him in shock. “W-what?…”
He averts his eyes in shame when he sees your reaction. The idea sounded better in his head than out loud. He just wanted to hurt your feelings so that you could feel what he felt when you ditched him all those times….he was so tired of being alone.
“F-fine then….” You say teary eyed. “I should‘ve known a pure-blood wizard like you wouldn’t be caught dead with the likes of me.”
“Child of man….wait-.” You ran off back to your own dorm. Leaving him there.
He gazes down at the ground. “What have I done…..they’ll never love me….”
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kookyburrowing · 21 hours
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and so now that i have your attention here are the couture looks i think fox would ABSOLUTELY rock. note these are from women’s collections bc a) fuck gender roles and b) men’s fashion is very meh. there’s no drama.
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This is look 23 from their spring 2024 collection. despite my bitching about the awkward number of looks, this is a collection I do really like. Sigh. Fox would like this outfit for two reasons. First, the cut would emphasize his shoulders and thus make him more intimidating. Second, it’s very elegant, but not particularly elaborate, making him stand out in a room filled with whatever nonsense the Senate put on today (cough Palpatine cough).
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This is look 28 from the same collection. A bit more elaborate, and again shoulders are emphasized. It allows for a more formal setting with retaining freedom of movement.
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This is look 15 from FW2019. A lot more elaborate, but easier to hide weapons in and the pants allow for greater flexibility. Also: POCKETS. more importantly: SUBTLE POCKETS. for knives ❤️❤️
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This is from Galla Lahav’s spring collection in 2017. I don’t know the exact look number because I found it through pinterest but I think this works for a dinner or something because it’s less outlandish and more practical. (Dinners are usually SIGNIFICANTLY less formal than things like balls and galas btw).
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I’m stealing the coat and running. This is from Dior’s Spring 1998 collection, and I love the shawl/cape thing, but the dress? Eh. Not a fan.
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Zuhair Murad AGAIN. they really said “let’s serve cunt constantly” tbh. This is look 2 from their FW2022 collection and I have actually used this in writing wherein Fox wears this (or a modified version of this, with knee-high flat heeled boots) to an opera. Sorry I just HATE thigh high boots with a passion.
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YET AGAIN. ZUHAIR MURAD. This is very “oh no the Chancellor died! of natural causes im sure” which is why I love it for Fox. he’s got a femme fatale vibe. to me.
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I cannot for the life of me remember where I got this one. If someone else could find it it would be HIGHLY appreciated. I like this bc it’s giving a Sith AU and idk man. The concept of Fox becoming a Sith fascinates me.
tagging @sevdalinkas because they said I could and also i genuinely thought i had more than this? alas those were all rtw not couture. SIGH.
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fairie-grl · 21 hours
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inspired by @onadarklingplain 's 'Albon Pet Primer'
Sir Lewis Hamiltion has a dog, his dog is the goodest boy in the world, and I know too much about his dog so now you must suffer with this knowledge as well enjoy:
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Lewis adopted Roscoe, a English bulldog, from an online adoption agency in 2013.Roscoe is a purebred bulldog with both his mom and dad being show dogs. Roscoe's name was chosen because Lewis thought it but Crofty calling Nico ‘Roscoe’ at the 2016 Chinese Grand Prix makes me have my doubts. Lewis later adopted Coco, a female bulldog. Coco’s breeder was originally going to put her down due to how expensive her health conditions, mostly likely a heart condition, were but Lewis stepped in. If you are trying to tell Coco and Roscoe apart in photos, Coco has a wider white stripe on her head. It is widest around the top of her head. Roscoe has more wrinkles and a brown spot on his snout and his strip ends at the top of his head and a new one starts off center in the back of his head. Coco’s fang teeth are also out more often compared to Roscoe's little teeth and she is a lighter color than Roscoe. Lewis expressed that he adopted the dog because his family has always had dogs, mostly labradors, but he said he always wanted an English bulldog. Coco lived till June 2020 when she passed in the night. Lewis and Roscoe were with her. His mom has five dogs! Both Roscoe and Coco have passports so they can travel with Lewis. Lewis was also granted special permission from Bernie Ecclestone to bring the dogs to the padlock (I assume Charles will ask Domenicali to bring Leo to the Padlock). 
Lewis brought a jet to fly with the dogs which he then sold in 2019. Roscoe is good with traveling due to his love of napping. In his first trip with Lewis he slept through most of the flight waking up to go to the bathroom and to make Lewis put him in his lap. Lewis followed Roscoe's command, sleeping with Roscoe in his lap like “a baby.” Lewis said, “Roscoe is the best travel pet, he just sleeps with you.” As Roscoe is getting older, Lewis has made the decision to travel less with him, as the time zones were getting hard on him. While Lewis is racing, Roscoe stays in Los Angeles, California with dog trainer Kirstin McMillan (adventuresindogtraining on instagram). Lewis says he gets pictures of Roscoe everyday and checks in on him. Roscoe also attends a dog park or “Los Angeles' first canine social club” as stated on their website called ‘Dog PPL’ in Santa Monica. It is about $120 a month for one dog.  
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Not only is Roscoe Lewis’s son but also his best friend. Lewis talked about his instant connection when they first met. Roscoe gets sad when Lewis leaves and happy when he returns. Lewis says, “Then I get the Frisbee and play with him, and that’s, for me, the biggest highlight – the unconditional love you get from a pet like that.” Roscoe loves quad bikes. In one interview, Lewis said it’s because he’s lazy so he likes being driven around. However, I think it’s because he has taken after his dad and wants to race. Roscoe also loves frisbee and his ball; it seems like he enjoys fetching and chasing after things, like chasing other cars down… Roscoe WDC 2024 confirmed. Lewis also has Roscoe involved in many of his projects, Lewis has hinted that Roscoe has a cameo in ‘Apex’, his movie starring Brad Pitt. When Fortnite asked him to be in the game he said he would only agree if Roscoe was in the game with him. Fortnite, of course, agreed because Roscoe is an angel. They ended up putting him in a jet pack. He was 1,500 V-Bucks or 2,400 V-Bucks with the ‘Lewis Hamilton Budle’ (IDK if thats a lot I don’t play Fortnite). Lewis also said Roscoe is the only person he can count on to stand with him along with Bono.
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After Coco’s death, Lewis took Roscoe to the vet where they recommended starting him on a vegan diet similar to what Lewis has. This vegan diet is often recommended to bulldogs because they often have food intolerances or allergies to the meat proteins that can affect the skin and gastrointestinal tract. The vegan diet Roscoe is on still includes the same things without the meat proteins in it that caused him to have health issues. Lewis has said his breathing has improved and that he no longer has skin allergies. Roscoe also has physical therapy and acupuncture every week to help with his joints.  Roscoe has also had health issues that caused him to ejaculate, often uncontrollably, scaring baby Roscoe and leading to him getting snipped in 2016. Lewis did have his sperm frozen so that Roscoe could have puppies. Lewis said, “It’s great his genes will live on.” Lewis said his plans were to have Roscoe’s puppies after he retires but with the fanzone in 2024 Australia GP, it sounds to me like he may be looking sooner to have Roscoe’s pups or to retire. Last year, around the British GP, Roscoe had some issues regarding his spine. If I remember correctly, it involved a slipped hernia in his spine. Luckily, he got stem therapy and was able to attend the GP. He has been improving, and as of today he is back to normal.
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Now for the part most people know about. Roscoe started his instagram account, roscoelovescoco, in January 2015 with a post featuring Coco and him captioned “Thanks for following us :).” The instagram account was originally a joint account with both Coco and Roscoe until 2020, although both did get solo posts. As expected Roscoe does make money off his Instagram, but he is also a dog model. Lewis said in a Silver Arrows interview in 2021 that he gets paid $700 a day which goes in Roscoe's treat fund. Roscoe also has sponsorships. His Thanksgiving party was sponsored by Bramble Pets, and he did content (including a commercial) for Zapp, a food delivery company Lewis invested in. Roscoe also appears in Lewis' vlog channel (it hasn’t been updated since 2021) multiple times. His last appearance is in a video “Adventures with Roscoe! | Lewis Hamilton Vlogs” which is also the last updated video on Lewis channel. He reached 1 million followers in 2024, which is more than Chouprette Lagerfield, the cat of Karl Lagerfeld (I am not joking, this man left a good chunk of his fortune [~$300 million] to his cat). Roscoe’s captions on his instagram posts were originally typed in a sort of third person first person mix but in October 2020, Roscoe finally established his first first person post with his famous lisp. However, the conspiracy expands as prior to this first lisp post, there are two posts on instagram where Roscoe (and Coco) are talking to us. The first one was posted April 2024 with Roscoe saying, ‘They put a thermometer up me bum, dad!’ In this speech bubble, Roscoe doesn’t have a lisp but does speak in a sort of baby talk. The next post in October 2017 features both Roscoe and Coco with Roscoe saying, “We got acupuncture today Dad!” and Coco saying, “It’s my favorite.” (More info about the dogs getting acupuncture is in the health section.) I will note his lisp comes and goes on his posts around November 2020. His lisp finally stays and its intensity does increase. There are also a few posts taken with Mercedes that don’t feature the lisp, and a few posts talking about Roscoe or Coco written in their “Dad’s” pov where it obviously doesn’t use a lisp.
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I need to stop putting off this post, I'm kinda scared to post this since I'm not really a fan artist and I don't do it often. But it's 5 am and I need to finish what I've started.
Anywho here's my grian fan art
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This is me just mapping out what he would look like in my style. I kinda messed up trying to convey the oversized sweater.
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Thought I'd go straight into some angst lmao, 3rd life grian after the catus ring. Though after I added his hair it kinda doesn't look like grian anymore.
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"I'M GOING TO KILL EVERYONE"
I kinda want to explain myself here, but at the same time, I don't. I don't want people going and watching the series this is from because it's bad, and seriously triggering. Idk I have a lot of thoughts about the series, and it's had a lasting impact on me.
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I haven't done any character design in a while so I kinda went crazy on this one. I like the outfit and all, but I feel like it may be too revealing for Grian. Also tried to make the hands do an evo sign lmao
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I don't really like this one, he could look more tired tbh. I also forgot to erase the massive ass I gave him.
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Lastly, grian is just being himself. Also, did I tell you I kinda headcanon him to struggle with facial expressions? Like bc the actual Minecraft skin is so soulless. So like most the time (mostly after the watchers) he's just dead pan all the time. Like his voice is expressive just not his face. I find it really funny.
I did one more but I seriously don't like it and it's embarrassing so I'm not posting it.
That's it
You can go home now
(I fell asleep so it's no longer 5 am as I post this)
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galactic-rhea · 2 days
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Did you have any foreknowledge that Anakin would become Darth Vader? I feel like even if you had Revenge of the Sith must have been quite an experience
Lmao I didn't know that until I came across this gif here in tumblr:
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'oh damn'
That said, because of that gif, I did know he was going to be one of the most iconic and recognizeable villains of cinema by the time I started to watch the movies. But, my knowledge of what would happen was very, very narrow, I was very in the dark about it lol
Is easier to point out the things that I knew when starting the movies than the ones I didn't:
-He would lose his limbs (I did not know how, I didn't know he literally burned. And I only knew that he loses his limbs because my partner )
-He kills kids (and that I knew just because a meme that my hubby had to explain to me, but I didn't know the circumstances. In fact, what I pictured was much worse LOL)
-He kills(? Padmé (I asked my hubby if he and Padmé divorced, and he just decided to throw that spoiler at me like "no, he kills her accidentally" without further context and I was like...oh woah okay...I...generally don't like villains that kill their wives but i'll still check that out)
-Samuel L. Jackson is in these movies! :D
-HE IS LUKE'S FATHER OMG OMG AND IS TWINS OMG LEIA?? ...Wait don't Leia and Luke kiss- Oh okay
And sufficient to say: ROTS still destroyed me emotionally, what a trip. But I had a blast watching these movies, and it was also a blast watching the Original Trilogy after that! I was so, so stunned about the end of ROTJ, because seriously I always thought Luke kills Vader even when my interest on SW was below zero.
And no, I still don't know how at 24 i managed to know so little about Star Wars SJNKJNSDF
What I thought would happen in these movies was that my guy here was going to be just this cool merciless villain from about the get-go and we would just met him as an adult already. Like, he would be this dark jedi working by himself ruining the order from the inside, going into murders on weekends and blame someone else for fun, the war would be his doing, and being creepy towards everyone included his wife was probably his hobby, idk, you get it, your basic 'cool lonely villain', like maybe a Sauron of sorts.
And then George Lucas tackled me with... this
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Hey, I'm not complaining.
My hiperfixation on Anakin and Star Wars helped me a lot with my depression, truth be told!
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rosy-crow · 3 days
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@altocat I watched the old livestream and there wasn’t much info on chapter dates and plans, BUT….
I just think it’s so so so cool that this video has been out since, what, September? And yet, NOBODY THOUGHT TO MENTION THIS KEY DETAIL!! AKSHSHD!!
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This is when they were talking about showing the changes made to the SOLDIER program in Ever Crisis, specifically The First Soldier. NOJIMA JUST CASUALLY MENTIONED HOLLANDER COMING BACK. And other familiar faces?
Please. I hope it’s them.
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I want a tiny Angeal and Gensis cameo so bad.
And if Hollander makes a comeback, who tf knows who else could show up. Hojo most likely at this point.
Also, more interesting comments below:
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Bro was like, “Oh shit here we go” when he heard about the idea. (I totally get it).
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AHAHAHA?! WHAT. OH GOD.
I’m gonna be honest though, I feel like….unless something drastically changes within the next four chapters, there is still a lot left to the imagination. His idea of filling all the blanks sounds like just answering all the questions that we might have in Crisis Core. But idk. We could all be idiots who have no idea what we’re in for, or else I am right about this. We’ll see.
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And that was basically most of what they said about The Miniroth. They just said to play the story. Gee, I’d sure like to guys. It’d be nice to know wtf you’re talking about.
BUT ALAS.
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mr-jack-letterman · 2 days
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AAAAAAND WERE BACK with more Subway to Stardew silliness NSNNDD.
Thank you to the folks over at @subwaytostardew for making this wonderful mod and letting me make silly art about it lol.
In any case time for some headcannon nonsense.
(click for better quality because Tumblr makes it crunchy)
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If Stardew Valley were to have a box legendary I think it would be Cresselia. It's literally Lunar pokemon and represents the crescent moon so it being the patron legendary of Stardew Valley just makes a lot of sense to me. Also Cresselia is underrated NSNDN.
Maybe there would be a secret special encounter for Darkrai. (the other half of it and Cresselia's duo but is a mythical for some reason?)
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Also the Lunar wing would be very neat item to have in-game ANSNDND.
If it were to exist within the mod I imagine the farmer would be like "oooo shiny feather. Maybe it's a pokemon feather? Emmet/Ingo would probably like it :D" so then they make it into a necklace, or maybe just give it to one of them outright without knowing what it is. So Emmet/Ingo sees it and just starts freaking the hell out cause their crush/friend just gave them a piece of a literal legendary pokemon meanwhile the farmer is just....clueless NSNDND.
Now onto some of the other characters.
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As basically the resident nurse joy of Pelican Town I think Harvey would have some pokemon common in the medical field. Though, pokemon like Chansey and Audino don't really fit his whole "whiskey neat, coffee black, bed at three"/ref vibes so I thought Indeedee would be best NSNDNND.
I also decided to give some pokemon to the characters mentioned within my ask.
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Willy is very fond of water types, clearly NSNS. Specifically fish pokemon like Lanturn, Seaking, Whiscash, Wishiwashi, or Dondozo. (Though his actual team probably has a good chunk of pokemon that are still water type just not fish lmao) The crowning jewel of his collection is a shiny Magikarp he fished up. Maybe one day it will evolve, but for now it just swims around the docks next to his house entertaining anyone that visits.
He also has a Bibarel. (which I imagine is the grown up version of that one Bidoof that snuck into Pelican Town) It acts more like an overgrown housecat than a battle ready pokemon but it is incredibly bulky so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯.
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Morris also has a few pokemon of his own. Most of which he keeps at home. But his main two he's seen with is a Gimmighoul and a Gumshoos. (IDK he just has Gumshoos vibes to me NSNDNND) They run around Joja pickpocketing people's gold cause Morris is just a dick like that.
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"It's Wizard time mother fucker, FIREBALL-"/ref
Wizard likes psychic types, but I like to think he also has a fondness for fairy types too. Also, most of em has at least one strong fire type move just so he has an excuse to yell "fireball" and blast something NSND. His Malamar is named Illithid (a wack squid monster guy from DnD lol)
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Sandy likes rock types, given that she lives in a desert it's probably the only type of pokemon she sees on the daily lol. She also has a key stone on her earring. With how colorful a keystone is when compared to sand I think she would be the most likely to find one there. Idk exactly if she'd mega evolve an Aerodactyl or a Tyranitar, if any pokemon at all. But I think she'd carry it around regardless. It's pretty :]
Also she has a shiny Rockruff. I don't rly have an explanation for that one I think it just fits the vibe lol.
And now, shenanigans.
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Emmet then proceeds to grab the child and just.... speed walk away HSBBDBDJJR.
That's all I have for now, I'll probably throw some other pokemon at the bachelorettes and other bachelors another time but this alone took a solid week due to finals 😭/lh
Time for me to go to bed lol, have a good one 👍
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luvrboydave · 2 days
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dad's best friend dave pt.2
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pairing: dbf!dave x virgin!fem reader
warnings: smut, kinda insecure reader, inexperienced reader, age gap, couch sex, unprotected piv, creampie, maybe breeding kink idk, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), pussy slapping (like once), LOTS of praise, dave teaches her how to give a hj/bj, pet names (sweetheart, baby, darlin'), tiny itty bit of overstim, soft dave but also a little mean dave at the beginning
words: 2.3k
a/n: not proof read and also might be bad cuz im a bit out of practice :3 feeding the dbf!dave girlies even though im not hyperfixated on megadeth rn!!!! enjoy guys, COME GET YOUR FOOD MWAH <3
CLICK HERE FOR PT.1
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ever since your little fling with dave, he’s been plaguing your thoughts more than usual…daydreams of his thick fingers inside of you, wet dreams involving him pinning you down and having his way with you. no matter how hard you try to ignore the thoughts and push them away, they always return stronger. sometimes, you wonder if he ever thinks about you as well, if he touches himself to the memory of your tight cunt. 
surely, he notices your lingering stares when he comes over to watch sports with your dad, right? surely, he notices that you’re completely and absolutely in love with him, right…?
it’s like you don’t even exist to him anymore; were you really that bad of a lay? thoughts raced through your head. did you do something wrong? did he not like how your body looked? were you too inexperienced for him? you were startled from your thoughts when a hand laid on your shoulder. looking to your left, you see that familiar head of curly orange hair. 
"oh, hey dave. sorry. i was just lost in thought," you mumble, turning to look up at him. 
dave hums at your words, “no worries, sweetheart. your dad just ran to the store, wanted me to tell you he’d be gone ‘bout an hour or two.”
your eyes follow him as he walks around the couch and sits beside you. “so, what was goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, hm?” he smiles, locking eyes with you. it was as if he could see straight through you. 
“just thinking about…college stuff,” you murmur, eyes breaking away from his and looking down at your clasped hands. 
“school stuff, hm? there’s no reason to lie to me, sweetheart.” he places a hand on your bare knee, and you jump slightly at the touch. 
“i know, sorry. my brain is just all kinds of messy right now.” you sigh.
“you wanna talk about it?” he asks as his thumb rubs comforting circles over your thigh. 
you go silent, trying to decide if you should just ask if you’ve done something wrong. your brain is screaming at you not to do it, and your stomach churns at the thought of him confirming all your insecurities. 
with a burst of courage, you blurt out the question that’s been haunting you, “did i do something wrong?” 
dave’s face scrunches in confusion, “what makes you think you did something wrong, sweetheart?”
“y’know, the last time we were…alone…together. i can tell you’ve been avoiding me since then. i thought maybe i did something wrong or something you didn’t like if you were staying away from me…” you ramble, moving your hands wildly while explaining yourself. 
“shit, sweetheart…m’sorry. you didn’t do anything wrong; you were perfect. i was keeping my distance from you ’cause i thought you’d be disgusted by me.” he laughs, scooting closer to you on the couch and sliding his hand higher up your thigh. 
“i could never be disgusted by you.” you giggle, resisting the urge to press your thighs together at his touch. 
“is that right…” he hums, a smirk forming on his lips. 
all of a sudden, his lips are on yours. you moan in surprise, hands coming to wrap around his neck. the kiss is desperate but sweet at the same time, as if he’s trying to make up for causing you to stress. his hand continues under your skirt, knuckles rubbing over your damp panties. Dave’s other hand cups your face, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue into your mouth. 
you gasp when he slides your panties to the side and runs a finger through your folds. “shit, sweetheart… so wet for me already.” he groans into the kiss. you buck your hips up into his hand, silently asking for more. 
“mmh-, my baby is so fucking greedy.” dave growls, slipping a finger inside of your cunt. his cock grows hard from the noises you’re making–your soft mewls are music to his ears. dave slips another finger inside of you slowly, stretching you out nicely. once you adjust to the new addition, dave picks up his pace–fingers pistoning in and out of you. 
“fuck, this pussy is so sloppy for me, baby…all for me, ain’t that right, sweetheart?” dave grunts, looking you in the eyes. 
you struggle to give him an answer–the pleasure already too much for you. As you try to speak, the only things that come out are strained moans and half-formed curses. 
“fuckin’ answer me, baby.” dave growls, pulling his fingers out of you and landing a harsh slap on your sensitive cunt. your body jumps at the impact, crying out from the pain. 
“shit- yes! all for you- all for you…” you whine tearfully, hands moving to grip his hair. 
“good girl,” dave praises, rubbing your clit, before slipping his fingers back into your drooling pussy. his pace is brutal, and he doesn’t let up–not even when fat tears start to roll down your cheeks. one of the hands that’s threaded into his hair moves to grip his wrist, trying to slow him down–but he doesn’t relent. 
dave pushes you down to lay on your back with his free hand before snatching both of your wrists and pinning them above your head. He can tell you’re close by the way you squirm underneath him, frantically bucking your hips into his hand. 
“that’s it, sweetheart. let go for me.” dave coos as you come undone. your body shakes, thighs clamping shut around dave’s hand at the intensity of your orgasm. 
your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath. dave gives you time to recover, gently rubbing your thigh before leaving to grab you a glass of water. you thank him when he returns to the living room, and you down the glass quickly. 
“wanna help you now,” you mumble shyly, pushing him back against the couch before sinking to your knees in front of him, “this is my first time doin’ this…” you admit. 
“fuck…you’re so perfect for me, sweetheart. letting an old man like me take all your firsts,” he groans, “gonna let me be the first one to fuck your pretty little angel cunt too, hm?” 
you nod softly, looking away from him in embarrassment. he chuckles at your shyness before grabbing your hand and placing it over his bulge. 
“here, let me teach ya how it’s done,” he smiles, “first, you gotta take it out, ‘kay?” 
you nod again, pulling the zipper down and helping him slip out of his jeans. you’re a little intimidated, but he reassures you that you can back out anytime. 
you reach into his boxers and wrap your hand around his cock; it’s a bit weird at first, but you eventually get used to the feeling and feel confident enough to pull his boxers down and let his cock spring free. dave praises you sweetly and helps guide you through it. 
“go ahead and spit on it now, sweetheart,” he commands softly, stroking your hair. you do exactly as he says, gathering spit in your mouth and letting it drip from your lips onto the head of his cock. 
“good,” he smiles, “now use your hand to spread it around–use a little pressure, but don’t squeeze too hard.” 
you follow his instructions, stroking up and down and occasionally squeezing lightly. dave groans softly, watching you with lustful eyes. he swears he almost cums when he sees your wide, curious eyes staring up at him. 
“you’re doing amazing for me, baby…use your thumb to rub the tip–and if it feels like it’s getting dry, spit on it some more.”
you let some more spit fall onto his dick, using your thumb to spread it around his tip. hesitantly, you lean down and give the tip a small lick. your cunt clenches at the sound dave makes. testing the waters, you give it another lick before wrapping your lips around the tip. dave has to fight the urge to buck his hips up and bury his cock deep in your warm throat. 
“fuck- didn’t even have to tell you to put it in your mouth,” he groans and threads a hand in your hair, “take your time, sweetheart. you don’t gotta rush.” 
you try to smile at him before taking his cock further into your mouth. you revel in the small grunts and sighs dave makes, thighs clenching at the erotic sounds. as you try to take him deeper, you gag around his cock and quickly pull off to catch your breath. dave hums at your messy face, the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes making his dick twitch. he softly raises his hand to caress your cheek, encouraging you to take him back into your mouth. 
“gonna let me fuck your throat, sweetheart?” dave questions, “i promise i’ll be gentle.”
you hum in agreement around his cock, whining when he threads his hand into your hair. dave slowly thrusts up into your mouth, and your throat constricts around him as he pushes deeper and deeper. his free hand wipes the tears from your eyes, and he coos at you softly. he groans when he bottoms out in your throat. 
“shiiit- you’re doing great, sweetheart. just breathe through your nose, baby–tap my leg a few times if you need me to pull out,” he mumbles, pulling back until just the tip is in your mouth and sliding back in slowly. 
dave slowly increases his pace, spouting praise at you as he does so. When you swirl your tongue around his tip and bring a hand up to massage his balls, he knows he’s about to cum. he quickly pulls out of your mouth and pulls you up from the floor before laying you down on the couch. 
“need to be inside of you, sweetheart. can’t wait to fill this pretty pussy of yours.” dave groans, pulling your shirt over your head and panties down your legs. 
“hot even wearin’ a bra, huh–so fuckin’ desperate for me…you wanted this to happen, didn’t you.” he teases, hands groping at your bare tits. 
you whine, nodding feverishly and bucking your hips up into him. dave chuckles at your impatience. your body twitches when you feel dave spit down onto your already sopping cunt a few times. dave guides his cock to your cunt, slipping between your pussy lips and rocking back and forth. your mouth opens with a silent whine when the head of his cock catches on your clit as he rocks forward. 
“gonna put it in now, sweetheart. try to relax for me, i want this to be as comfortable for you as possible,” dave states, pushing your legs up towards your chest and guiding his cock to your entrance.
you keen at the stretch, wincing slightly as your cunt opens up for him. “that’s it…breathe for me, baby–just relax.” he murmurs sweetly.
dave continues pushing deeper into your tight pussy, groaning as your warm walls flutter around his length. he pauses as he bottoms out, allowing you time to breathe and adjust to his size, all while muttering praise in your ear. 
“think i’m ready for you to move, baby…” you whine, rocking your hips slightly into his. 
dave smiles at you before he pulls out and thrusts back in gently. your eyes roll back into your head as he begins thrusting into you at a steady pace. you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a messy kiss. dave swallows the pretty noises you make as he fucks you, revelling in your pleasure. 
“you can move faster-” you moan, breaking the kiss and looking him in the eyes. 
“you sure, sweetheart?” he questions, slowing down his thrusts and waiting for you to confirm. you nod, giving him the go-ahead to speed up.
it’s like a switch flips inside of him–he pushes your legs even closer to your chest and fucks into you quickly. your head falls back onto the couch's armrest, fingers clawing at his shoulders in pleasure. dave’s hips piston in and out of you, your sloppy cunt squelching with each thrust. 
your back arches off of the couch when he snakes his hand down to play with your swollen clit. your body feels like it’s on fire, the pleasure quickly becoming too much. 
“hnng- think im gonna cum! fuck-” you cry out, voice breaking as tears spill from your eyes.
“Shh, sweetheart. you can let go, c’mon, cum for me like a good girl.” he coos, fingers still rubbing circles on your clit as he picks up his pace. 
Your body shakes as you start to cum, and your vision goes spotty. your arms hold onto dave’s shoulders for dear life as your body convulses. dave continues thrusting in and out of your cunt, overstimulating your poor, sensitive pussy. 
“keep clenchin’ around me, just like that, sweetheart,” he growls, his pace faltering ever so slightly. “fuuuck- gonna fuckin’ ruin this gorgeous angel cunt of yours, baby–fill you up so good you’ll be leakin’ for weeks.” 
dave groans, pushing his hips flush with yours when he cums, pumping you full of his warm, sticky cum. your pussy flutters around him, milking him of every last drop. dave’s head drops into the crook of your neck, and he presses soft kisses to the skin there. you stroke his back as he lays on top of you, a smile pulling on your lips. 
“i think i’m in love with you,” you mutter softly. 
dave’s ears perk up at your words–he lifts his head to look at you, “you really mean that, sweetheart?” 
“of course I do,” you affirm, moving your hands to hold his face and pull him up into a loving kiss. 
“i love you too,” he murmurs into the kiss, “but we might wanna get dressed…i don’t think your dad would appreciate seeing us cuddled up naked on the couch,” he laughs.
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incorrect-spideytorch · 23 hours
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So, I’ve been thinking a lot about spideytorch lately (as I am one to do) and a question popped into my head:
What is the most important spideytorch comic panel?
There’s a ton of great options in my opinion, but I think there also is an answer (at least for me) so now I am going to subject all of you to my thought process. Get ready for a way to long post breaking this down.
The most obvious starting point has to be this classic
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Johnny Storm is going full house husband for Peter Parker, I mean c’mon! add in the fact that he’s in his undies and the way that he’s leaning over peter… yeah this is a classic. This might be the most famous spideytorch panel out there, but I don’t think it’s the most important one.
Another classic (but more antagonistic?) one takes place, of course, at the usual place.
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To me this is peak identity shenanigans and the stuff that fanfics are made of. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the complications that go into the conflicting way these two view identity, oh boy I could talk about that shit for hours, but as an individual moment, it doesn’t really crack most important for me, it needs a bit more affection (they’re very bad at affection sometimes).
Another panel that came to mind very quickly for me is this set.
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Johnny literally only had to say his name and Peter knew exactly what he meant and what he needed. This is top tier levels of communication, both between them and from the creators to us. I think this is another one that I could talk about for hours. That being said, it doesn’t feel important enough to me.
A friend in the spideytorch discord server posed this panel as the most important spideytorch moment in the comics.
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I’m just gonna put their quote in cause it’s great. “I think this is one of my favorite panels cause Johnny was just speaking generally and Peter was like ‘oh my god! Actual wise words form johnny’ but also, I love that this was a more important moment for Peter than Johnny.” I must say, this entry is extremely important to spideytorch and gave my choice a run for its money. I don’t have a huge reason for not making this one the most important, other than personal taste. For their relationship, this is a key moment and sets them on the path to actually being friends (at least on Peter’s end), but idk it just wasn’t doing it for me.
Another panel I was reminded of thanks to this submission was this moment.
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It’s not quite as impactful as the past one by a long shot but I do think it’s important. After being rivals for so long, to see Johnny give a genuine heartfelt compliment to Peter is fantastic (haha). This feels like the other half of the previous set of panels. There we had Johnny encouraging a stranger and here he’s encouraging his friend.
Some other friends in the discord server suggested the moment that Johnny invites Peter over to watch his sex tape (yes this is canon).
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(Not pictured, Peter swinging away and saying he needs to take a cold shower). Now I’m not saying that the most important spideytorch moment needs to be serious, but I think this moment might be too unserious to claim that title. This moment was huge for the fanbase because holy shit did, he actually say that, but for their relationship, I just don’t think it was as important as it was to us.
Now I do want to knock out a few honorable mentions that I would hate to miss.
First, this look given to Spidey by Johnny, I mean yeah, he’s in love.
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And to balance the lovesick flirty scales I must expose Peter as well.
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Next, this heartbreaking moment that basically admits to the audience that Peter’s world becomes chaos when he loses Johnny. That shit hits.
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Of course, the moment that gave us the ship name.
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A panel that lives in my head rent-free because honestly marvel what were you attempting to convey here other than the fact that Peter really wants to have hate sex with Johnny Storm?
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To take us outside of our duo, this quote from Ben Grimm (EDIT: it’s was Peter’s clone Ben Reilly, which honestly only adds more drama), because honestly same.
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And of course, I have to include the panel which showed us the first time (on page) that Peter told Johnny he loved him AND gave us canon proof that these two have “date night,” many a fic writer was fed well.
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And how could we forget! THE USUAL PLACE! Literally any panel mentioning this is top tier because its so good, like the core of the fandom honestly.
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Lastly, before moving on to my own more serious contenders I have to share this parallel that @sciderman shared because I love it.
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Now to my serious contenders for the title of most important spideytorch panel (please remember this is all my opinion and I mean no shade). This will be a top 5, but just know some of these rankings are pretty flexible (even flexible with some panels from the beginning), and this question should not be taken as seriously as I am taking it, I am fully aware of that.
Number 5!
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So, I know that I discounted the sex tape scene earlier because I didn’t think it was serious enough and it didn’t do enough for their actual relationship, but I had to include this one I’m sorry. A lot of this is personal taste but the implications here are *chefs kiss* The first time I saw this panel was actually on Pinterest with the caption “wait a second, did spider-man and the human torch have sex?” which says it all for me.
Beyond that, this moment also shows how they reach out to each other when they have problems. Strange children show up in Peter’s life and the first person he calls about it is Johnny. Again, this is not the most serious, but I love it. This moment shows the banter of their relationship, how they care about and rely on each other, and also potentially reveals that they’ve had sex. There’s a lot to take in.
Number 4!
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I will be honest with you all, this moment is here almost entirely because Ben’s quote lives in my head rent-free. Everyone around them sees how they feel about each other besides them. When they were rivals others could tell they actually liked each other and when they became friends others could tell that it was deeper than that. I think I especially love this panel because it conforms that we’re not crazy for thinking there’s something there but also because Ben specifically cites the way Johnny looks at peter. That is very specific and says a lot. I can’t imagine Ben would say this if the looks Johnny gave Peter were purely platonic, and just ahhhh, there’s so much said here just in one line from Ben. There was of course the Ben moment earlier, which I also love, but something about this one, the more specific phrasing of it I think just shoots it up my rankings a lot.
Number 3!
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If you’ve been following me for a while I don’t think this is a surprise at all, I have already done a very in depth post about this panel so I’ll keep my thoughts brief. Red Skull knows that hurting Johnny will hurt Peter, Peter’s Spidey senses go off FOR JOHNNY, and we are given so much angst potential, I love it.
Number 2!
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This one is probably a more popular choice than my number one, and I totally get it. The excitement and joy bursting out of Peter when he finally realizes that Johnny is here, he’s real, and he’s alive really gets me. Plus, the added context to the uniform comment being that Johnny literally left Peter his family and his spot on the team in his will. The amount of pure love in this moment and its larger context is abundant, platonic or romantic, it’s there. I feel like everything I could say about this panel has probably been said before, but it is definitely worthy of being the most important spideytorch moment, even if I have one that beats it for me.
Number 1!
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For those of you who don’t know, this panel comes from Peter visiting Gwen’s grave and talking to her. That fact alone breaks me in half but then the things he says to her shatter me. Every spider-man fan knows how much Gwen’s death broke Peter, it destroyed him to lose her. Just the fact that Peter admits Johnny brings part of him back is amazing (haha) because that is a hug feat. But then he shatters me even more with his final sentences. After Gwen’s death, we often get a peter who spends too much time as Spidey in order to avoid having to cope with Gwen’s death as Peter, but also as a way to cope with the loss (he’s a complicate man). Spideypool also gets a lot from that arc because of Wade’s reaction to Spider-Man not holding back as much and becoming less of a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and that’s true. The fact that Peter feels like he’s becoming who Spidey is supposed to be again when he’s around johnny is huge! But then! He corrects himself. He’s not Spidey again, he’s Peter. The real person, the man behind the mask, comes back. And then you get the final correction. He’s not just peter again, he’s *Gwen’s* peter again. He is the him that existed with Gwen when he’s with Johnny. That speaks volumes and breaks whatever parts of me are left. How am I expected to read this and not think that Johnny and Peter are soulmates?
Now, I will acknowledge that this is much more of a peter moment than a joint spideytorch moment, much like the moment suggested by discord friend earlier. If that disqualifies it for you as the most important spideytorch panel, I get it. However, for me that doesn’t matter mainly for one key reason. So many classic spideytorch moments show a lot of Johnny having feelings for Peter or making a move on Peter. There have been a lot of times when I’m trying to get a friend into spideytorch, and I feel like I have to clarify that its not as one sided as it seems. Johnny is much more out there with who he is and doesn’t hide his feelings very well (except maybe from himself). So, when we get any spideytorch moment that hones in on peter’s feelings and love for Johnny, that feels so huge to me. This moment alone proves that it isn’t one sided, Peter has deep feelings for Johnny, even if he’s not sure what they are yet, he knows that what they have is special, he wouldn’t be telling Gwen about it otherwise. While it may not be as famous of a spideytorch moment, its an important one, and for me it’s probably the most important one.
Anyway, this has been a way too long post about this topic but if you made it to the end thank you so much! I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic so feel free to share those. Also, just a reminder that these are my opinions, and I am not in charge at all so don’t take it too seriously (unless you want to).
If you’re interested in hearing me, go more in depth on any of these panels (or any other spideytorch panels) shoot me an ask because I could honestly talk in depth for a while about most of these panels and I would love to do so. Thank you again for reading this way to long post and good night spideytorch nation.
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rongzhi · 2 days
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ok ive taken a deep breath and steeled myself. what do you think of liu yu
I'm going to put this under a cut because I rambled a little, but I wanted to offer my detailed impression :P Rest assured! No tearing to shreds occurred. He remains intact.
Well, I didn’t know who this guy was, so I took myself to the ole Wikipedia and my first thought was wow! Look at those label names.
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Second thoughts: Ooh, dancer. I'm looking forward to see how the dancing is (if he still dances).
I have heard of INTO1 but don't watch idol competition shows, but it's impressive that he placed first. I decided to listen to/watch two songs/performances: his first single, 靠岸, from 2019, and his most recent single from 2023, Focus.
靠岸 didn't seemed to have an official video, so I ended up watching a live performance from a show called Mr. Radio.
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I was pleasantly surprised by this song! Seeing that he had been on Produce Camp, I was expecting a more pop kind of song, but this was a song I could imagine playing in the OT of a drama (in a good way!). I think his performance was a little shaky here, but I sense that maybe he was nervous? Either way, he seems a little shy here, where this song would really benefit from a powerhouse performance. Idk, maybe it was also a sound mixing issue. I like the song, though. Very pretty. I went to listen to the studio recording and it was a lot better—much closer to what I was hoping to get. The oooooh part sort of reminds me of a Zhou Shen song whose title I can't remember at the moment. It was space themed, though. (EDIT: the song I was thinking about was Cassini)
Next up!! Focus. I watched the Official Music Video on Youtube first.
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Coming off 靠岸, I could see from the thumbnail that this song would be closer to the pop sound that I expected, so the things I was interested in seeing was the MV concept and the dancing. On first watch, I didn't really listen to the lyrics much, because there were no captions to read and I can't really tell what people are saying in pop songs anyway.
I have to admit that going into the video with the big gray space only, I thought it was pretty ugly at first. I just think that the CG structure on pale BG concept always looks cheap no matter who does it, though, and Liu Yu seems like a sort of tiny guy, so with all the dancers around him, I initially thought he looked a little swamped by them.
At 0:48 when we got a flash of the all-black cowboy look, again I was a bit disappointed, thinking that there wouldn't be much edge to concepts.
Then we got to the, I'm gonna say, test lab sewer gothic, and I thought "ok, at least that's something". It's definitely be done before but there's more production in that set and look, so at least the whole video isn't just going to be a gray void. The flash of Liu Yu standing in as his own princess was kind of interesting (disappointed this character never showed up in the music video again)
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Now I know said I wasn't going to rip him to shreds and that's because....!!! When the beat dropped, I went "ok wait" lol. At 1:03, I witnessed evidence of stage presence and was like "oh we are so back, baby"
Still not a fan of the big pale space, and I think Liu Yu's charisma was most visible in the sewer gothic scenes and weakest in the scenes where he's wearing the silver ice skating outfit looking blouse, but maybe that's just because it distracts you with his little twig body. I personally can't buy into the energy of someone who looks like the most movable object on earth.
3:03 the "yuh" made me laugh tho
MV looks ranked (best to worst):
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One thing that I didn't like about the MV (but understand is necessary) was that the video kept cutting right as I thought to myself "Oh, this is a nice bit of dancing", and I wish the shots had been wider on the dance moves instead of cutting him off at the ribs. A wider dance version in the sewer (I know that's not what it was but jhkalfjl) would've been appreciated by me. With that in mind, I decided to see if there was a dance performance video and there was! As suspected, the choreography in the beginning of the song is also just not that strong or compelling to me. It sort of gives intermediate hiphop 2 dance recital. My favorite part of choreo is the breakdown at 2:56.
Anyway, I hope these impressions were sufficient! I didn't check him out on any variety shows so I can't comment much on what I think about his personality, but from a music/performance standpoint, I think he's pretty good. Not really the kind of stuff I listen to anymore but if I still kept up with idols, maybe I'd check him out from time to time :)
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strawberrybyers · 3 days
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okay so after that video was posted of the screams at the radio station, i remembered i wanted to look up info on what these episode titles mean and i think it gives some insight as to what the hell is going on at that radio station. so yeah let’s get into it 👇
first things first: the episode titles of the first 6 episodes has been released via jeff sneider. apparently sneider is an award-winning film critic so idk i imagine this would be legit considering he wouldn’t want to lose his credibility considering his status?? but who knows
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episode 1: the crawl ( i wrote about this episode when they first announced the title)
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episode 2: the vanishing of ***** wheeler (personally i think it’s karen going missing. it just makes so much sense to me. she had her own poster for s4. she has had contact with the mindflayer when she tried to have an affair with billy when he was a host. there’s interesting parallels between karen and the creel family. like karen is going missing i just know it. and nancy also said in s4 that something happened to her mom in one of the visions vecna showed her!)
episode 3: the turbow trap (ok so apparently a turbo trap is an acoustic tool?? so my assumption after reading up on it, is that a turbo trap basically absorbs the bass through the tube of it because there is a hole on the top of it and depending on the size of hole, dictates the air flow which then puts out a certain frequency. basically, the more air a turbo trap can “trap”, the lower the frequency it can reach. i imagine they are going to be creating a big turbo trap involving music and/or sound since that is a deterrent for vecna and it also attracts the demo bats?? and they’re also filming at the radio station a lot and radio stations are frequencies (think FM and AM radio stations you go to to listen to music or the news or whatever))
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episode 4: the sorcerer (i mean my immediate thoughts went to el, but then after reading some D&D lore about the connection a sorcerer has with dragons (imagery/mentions of dragons throughout the seasons and the painting was of the party up against a dragon), a possible touch of a demon (vecna/mindflayer), and the mention of how they’re competitive to the usefulness of wizards (will the wise) in a party… i’m like holy shit is the sorcerer potentially WILL????? like will finally evolves to becoming a sorcerer in s5?? or the sorcerer is el and will remains the wizard and we get the super duo willel???)
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episode 5: shock jock (this is the definition of a shock jock. i’m thinking which character would fit this description and i say it’s murray. that would also make sense as to why he’s filmed there at the radio station. remember murray’s character was introduced as someone who was investigating the russians and the lab and all that, so for him to start a radio station being the “humorous, controversial guy” in all this mess makes 100% of sense to me lmao)
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episode 6: escape from camazotz (i feel like this title gives some insight as to what the hell was going on in the new footage of screaming at the radio station. a camazotz is basically a death bat. i assume it’s the demo bats making a comeback from s4. but here’s the thing: a camazotz is described in one description from some computer game to have a very specific screech. if this screech, hits an enemy god then the sound wave will echo. just think back to the explanation of the turbo trap and what that does. so yeah, i think camazotz are at the radio station and the screeching was THEM. the screams sounded so chilling thinking it was steve or someone else, but i don’t think it was human screams! i think they were demo bat screeches 😎 also, steve was attacked by one of these things so idk does he have some connection with them now and that’s why they’re after him???)
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the albatross - m. murdock
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a/n: hi everyone! so this is that weird and off putting reader i was mentioning earlier! she's not that weird but she's sort of odd so yeah. also i know bucky is the winter soldier but idk how else to tag this so oh well! i do have lore and stuff for readers time as a soldier so i'll include that in later installments! i was kind of in a writers block and this pushed me out of that. so enjoy! please please tell me what you thought and if you want more! warnings: cursing, mentions of death, war, torture, pain, people being dead, reader having horrible people skills and ptsd, mentions of sex maybe? uhmmm in general reader is just sort of strange and this is her and matt's early relationship, so sorry if i missed anything ! word count: 3.6k summary: you have spent the past ninety (give or take) years tortured and in pain. then, a handsome stranger comes into your life and changes everything. pairing: matt murdock x winter soldier!fem!reader now playing: the albatross - taylor swift "i'm the albatross/i swept in at the rescue/the devil that you know/looks now more like an angel/i'm the life you chose/and all this terrible danger"
You’re working a morning shift at the bakery when he comes in. The pastries in the case are laid out just so, and you have been meticulously working on this sign for your fall specials. You are determined to focus on something that is not how poorly you slept, your hair tied up in a braid behind you as you work.
You’re determined to get these pumpkin stems drawn correctly; a green marker clenched in your hand. Your knuckles are white with the tension you are holding in your fingers. It’s around eight in the god damn morning, and you have been awake since around three a.m.
You don’t even hear the bell ring, nor do you hear the click-clacking of a cane on the tiled floors, you only hear an awkward clearing of the throat, to which you spin around, about to throw the marker at the customer, but stopping when you realize what you’re doing.
The customer smiles awkwardly at you, and you recognize instantly that between his glasses and cane, he is most definitely blind. You almost feel silly, until you remember everything, and you wish that there was more moments where you think you’re silly for being paranoid.
And there’s something else, too. You look at this man for a few moments, before realizing that he is so god damn hot. Which, is weird, because you have not felt anything for any man or woman in years, too busy focusing on other things, too busy thinking about everything that’s happened. But god, the stubble tracing his face, the way his dark hair falls, and the way his hand wraps around his cane..
But what gets you really is his lips. Maybe you’re staring, maybe you don’t care. But his lips are this pretty pink, and you find yourself getting lost in the nicest daydream you’ve had in a very long time..
And then, you snap out of that fantasy to remind yourself that you are working and don’t even know his name.
“Hi, sorry,” You cough awkwardly, “Was just focused,” You tell him, approaching the counter. You wipe your sweaty hands on your apron, before putting on your best ‘I’m a friendly bakery worker who just wants to sell you pastries, also tip me please!’ smile on. “What can I get you?” You ask.
“Do you guys have apple turnovers?” It is the first time this fall that is under 65 degrees, so you understand that there is some cravings for autumn snacks.
“Yeah, yeah,” You move towards the case to get some, “Just the one?”
“Three, actually. For the office.” He hums.
“Some big office,” Your voice is a sarcastic mumble, not really for the an to hear but he chuckles at it, and you almost think it’s weird that he an hear you but your brain tells you not to judge, since there is a whole lot the handsome stranger could judge you for.
“We’re a small business. Very friendly, very personable.”
You cannot help yourself, and you find yourself asking, “What sort of business are you in?” What the handsome stranger does not know is that you are insatiably angry at yourself for asking that because you had pretty much promised yourself that you were never going to have any sort of relationship—it wouldn’t be fair to them, it wouldn’t be fair to you. And as previously established, that wasn’t a problem, because you weren’t really attracted to anyone before this handsome stranger waltzed on into the bakery.
“I’m a lawyer.” He smiles. A lawyer.
“Well, Mr. Lawyer, your total is 10.75.” He pulls out a twenty and when you hand him change, he asks, “Which one is the five?” and you wordlessly pull out the five from the stack you handed him, before he puts the rest of the change in his wallet, dropping a five and a small card into your tip jar. “You have a good day now.” He hums, before making his way out of the bakery.
You watch intently, maybe a little too intently, and you hear the voice of your best friend from your teenage years in your head saying, ‘You hate to see him go, but you love to watch him leave.’ And a small smile finds its way to your face.
Then, you notice the card he dropped in the jar before fishing it out. On the front, it reads,
‘Matthew M. Murdock, Attorney at Law.’ On the back, you read,
‘Nelson, Murdock & Page, Attorneys at Law,
Hell’s Kitchen’
Accompanied by this is a phone number and an address.
You pocket the card, and before you know it, costumers are flooding in, and you ease into the day, forgetting about the handsome stranger until you leave the bakery at around six o’clock that night. You finish cleaning up from the day before letting the woman who works to prep for the next day. Then you leave, heading home to the too quiet, too small apartment.
You don’t have much in your apartment. You sleep with a gun under your pillow and you have a cheap TV on your dresser. You spend most of your time catching up on books or movies. You make yourself box mac and cheese before eating it right out of the pot, sitting on your kitchen floor.
As you cook the mac and cheese, you say his name over and over again, letting it sit on your tongue and escape your lips, thinking about him intently. You glance at your watch and decide that maybe it’s early enough that he might still be at his office.
You fish your tiny flip phone out of your pocket, dialing the number on the card and waiting. You’re holding your breath as the phone rings. A thought runs through your brain that maybe he gave you a wrong number and then your brain immediately reminds you that no man is ever going to give you his card, printed out, just to fuck with you.
“Nelson, Murdock & Page, how can I help you?” A voice asks, and you blink, hesitating for a minute.
“Uh, I’m looking for Matthew.” You say, and there’s some light shuffling, and again, this regret shoots over you until you hear a very smooth, very familiar voice,
“Hey,” His voice is like honey and you long to hear it clearer—The first time you’ve desired a better phone. “I was hoping you’d call.”
“Yeah, well, Maybe I just like the sound of your voice.”
“You know usually, that’s my line.”
“Wait, that works on people?” You hear his laugh on the other side of the phone and a shiver runs down your spine as you itch to make him laugh more.
“Telling people they’re beautiful doesn’t hit the same when you’re blind.”
“I guess not..” There’s a silence on his end of the phone, before he says,
“I never got your name.” For a moment, you consider giving him a fake name, but you find yourself giving him your name, the one that your parents gave you all those years ago. It’s foreign on your lips, a rare gem that you do not often give out. He repeats it and you swear you could almost die right then and there. “What are you doing tonight?” 
You’re taken back by his forwardness, not anticipating that maybe this handsome stranger, Matthew, wants to be around you just as bad as you want to be around him. And then you look around at your dingy apartment, with your boxy TV, the gun under your pillow, and you, sitting on the floor of your kitchen, having just finished eating box mac and cheese with a wooden spoon that just for a second tastes like the one your mother used to cook with, the one you’d get tastes of sauces, soups, anything you could get your hands on.
And then you remember everything that happened after those days sneaking tastes of your mom’s cooking and you feel guilty for pursuing handsome Matthew, because he has no idea what he is getting into.
“Just finished dinner. Was planning on just relaxing.” Reading until around midnight and then getting an hour or two of sleep.
“Well, how about we go do something?” You detect a bit of hopefulness in his voice. You find yourself asking before you can stop yourself,
“Like, like a date?” And he laughs again.
“Yes, like a date.”
“I don’t know,” You start, “Usually I have to ask my father’s permission before I go out on the town with a boy.” You want to slap your hand over your mouth because you sound your age. Oh god.
“Really?”
“..No.” You hope he finds your weird, totally not a cover up, joke funny. And he laughs again, telling you,
“You’re funny.”
Yeah, really fucking hilarious.
“So, a date?”
“A date.” You consider this for a moment. A date might lead somewhere real. Somewhere dangerous. Somewhere you haven’t been in.. years. Years might be an understatement. Your heart thuds against your chest, and you find yourself full of that nostalgic thing you call desire.
“What would we do?”
“Anything you want.” He tells you.
“Anything? That’s dangerous.” Because this whole thing is dangerous, you want to tell him, maybe you should mention the whole age thing, the whole assassin thing, the whole brainwashing thing, the whole thing.
“Yeah? What dangerous things do you have in mind, doll?” You have to hold the phone away from your ear to breathe, because it feels like someone just took the winds out of your sails. Suddenly it is 1940 something and a boy is flirting with you, and you have to act like a lady in hopes that he will treat you right.
Odd thing to think about today, but you’re an odd person.
“What about ice cream and a bookstore?” You ask, and for a moment you want to hit yourself for not suggesting something cool like a club or something and then you realize that you have no idea what counts as a cool date in this day and age.
Did you know when you were a teenager and had the world at your fingertips, eighty (give or take) years ago?
But to your surprise, handsome Matthew just responds,
“That sounds nice. Do you want me to pick you up at your apartment?”
The idea of handsome Matthew being at your tiny apartment that is not suitable for a date makes your heart race.
“I’ll meet you at the ice cream place in an hour. You know the one near the bakery?”
“Yeah. See you then.”
“Yeah. See you.” And when you hang up, you realize just what has happened. For the first time since 1944, You have landed yourself a date with a handsome man that is genuinely interested in you and in your infinite wisdom decided that ice cream and books were the best way to impress him.. Books.. Blind man.
You lightly bang your head against the counter behind you, muttering to yourself how stupid that was. But you an only dwell on it for a moment before you are standing up and making your way over to your room to get ready.
You’re still in your work uniform. And you look like an idiot. So, you clean yourself up and pull on something presentable, something comfortable. There is no confusion as to the nature of this meet up, you two are going on a date and you asked a blind man to go to a bookstore. You feel like an asshole. And you’re aware that you’re putting emphasis on that, but still!
You go through outfits and outfits, trying to figure out what an appropriate outfit is for this first date. You end up in something casual, and you hope you’re not underdressed. Honestly, you know you’re making a fuss over something as standard as a date, but you are genuinely desperate to have this go well.
You finally decide on an outfit and make your way out the door, grabbing your jacket and stepping out of the apartment. You stop outside of your door before turning around and going back into your room to change your top.
But eventually, you do get to the ice cream place Matt and you had discussed on the phone. And there he is, in all his glory, wearing the same outfit he wore when you saw him in the bakery that morning, only, without his tie, and he looks more disheveled. Somehow it’s more charming to see him like this, more exhilarating to imagine a life with such a low stakes man (You’ll look back on this thought later and laugh)
“Hi,” You greet, and Matt smiles in your direction.
“Hi.” He hums, and again, you feel nervous! So, before he can say much else, you blurt out,
“So, This is my first date in a while.. So. Sorry about that.” You say awkwardly.
“A while?” He asks, tilting his head like a curious dog. You’re struck by the fact that he is around 70 years younger than you. “Like, a few months?”
A beat.
Handsome Matthew is much busier than you are, it seems.
“More like a couple of years.” And by ‘a couple’ you mean eighty some odd years, but Matt doesn’t need to know all of that right now. But he just hums and nods, before answering,
“That’s alright, I’ll be gentle.” Your face flushes, and with a nervous laugh, you ask,
“You mean we’ll take it slow?”
“Sure. Whatever. We’ll figure out the details of it all later.” His hand finds yours, and before you can protest he pulls you into the ice cream shop. Handsome Matthew orders chocolate chip cookie dough because he is perfect in every way, and you order..
“Butter pecan, please.” You get odd glances from Matthew and the seventeen year old minimum wage worker behind the counter, but neither of them say anything. You manage to beat Matthew to paying for the ice cream, and as you walk, he asks,
“Butter pecan? Really?” And you roll your eyes. Young people today, always judging.
“You’re lucky they didn’t have butterscotch, that’s my real favorite.” You respond, before taking a lick of the ice cream. Your handsome date, gives you another bizarre look.
“Okay, what’s your third favorite ice cream flavor?”
“Mm..” You take a few minutes to think about it, before deciding on your answer. “A tie between pistachio and coffee.” And at your answer, Matt laughs at you. You let out an offended gasp, although you’re not being serious, before asking, “what’s so horrible about that?”
“You have the ice cream preferences of an eighty year old,” He laughs and you laugh too, because oh, if only he knew.
“Sorry, my pallet is straight from the 40’s.” It’s a joke. That’s a joke. Not at all based in facts or actuality. You continue working through eating your ice cream and talking to your handsome date. “So, does the handsome lawyer have any family I should know about?”
“You think I’m handsome?” He grins, and your face flushes.
“Answer the question.”
“No siblings. My dad died when I was young and It’s only recently that I’ve been talking to my mother.” Interesting, you think, and then this dawning realization happens where you realize that the next thing out of his mouth will be the inevitable question, “How about your family?”
You consider lying but you decide against it. If this is going to lead anywhere good, you don’t want to base it off lies.
“Not much to say. I’m the sole survivor.” You shrug, keeping it vague. He frowns a bit before squeezing your hand.
“A couple of orphans, huh?”
You squeeze his back.
“Seems like it.”
You kind of aren’t over the death of your parents and your siblings and quite literally everyone you knew as a teenager and young adult—You’re not over so many fucking things that if you went through it all, you’d probably keep poor Handsome Matthew up all night.
But instead of talking about that, Matt finds himself walking with you to the bookstore. You hold the door open for him and begin to wander. You quickly move past the books on World War II, as if faced with an ex you want nothing to do with them.
You begin to look at the romance books, scrunching your nose at how cheesy and surface level so many of these young adult novels are. But then you remind yourself that you are a hundred years old. But you look like you’re in your late twenties, early thirties. As you’re looking at the books, Matthew makes his way to the aisle next to yours, and talks to you through the stacks.
“So, what’s your favorite book?”
“That’s like asking a mother her favorite child.” You answer quickly, and you hear him laugh. Your face flushes.
“Try for me.”
“Uh, I really love Great Gatsby. I’m kind of fascinated with the zombie genre, too, it’s sort of new and interesting, and uh, oh, I read this Neil Gaiman novel, uh, Stardust? I really liked that.” You confess. Matt listens as you fumble through novels, both of you making your way towards the end of the aisle.
“And movies?”
“Why is everything about me? I didn’t hear your favorite novel.”
“The Outsiders.” He responds, and you make a mental note to try and find it in the bookstore. “So, movies?”
You’ve had autonomy for around three years now, so.. Your movie knowledge has been kind of stunted, so you wrack your brain to try and come up with something impressive.
“I really like the Indiana Jones series, uh, oh, The Matrix, and..” You ponder your brain. “Oh! And King Kong!” You saw that one in the theatres for your thirteenth birthday.
“Like, the one that came out in 2017?” He asks, and again, you consider lying, because you actually have seen that one because when you looked up ‘King Kong’ it came out, and it really blew your mind how far CGI had come.
“No, the one that came out in ’33.” As if it is the most normal thing in the entire world.
“One of your favorite movies is one from 1933?” And the old woman in you wants to insist that you loved the decades you grew up in, and that seeing King Kong in the theatres was a marvelous thing because you could barely afford rent. And then you remember you shouldn’t reveal your history with the Great Depression to a man you’re on your first date with.
“Yup.” You assert, and ask, “You?”
“Star Wars, any of them, and the Princess Bride.” Again, you make a note to add it to your list.
“Interesting.” You hum, and you find The Outsiders, wanting to read it, to consume it, to consume him, and every thought he has. The two of you meet at the end of the aisle, too close to be platonic as his hands come to find your arms, and you shudder at the affection.
“Touch starved, huh?” He grins. You flush and roll your eyes.
“You’re so mean.” You huff, and he laughs. His hand moves up your arms and cups your jaw, enjoying the feeling of your warm cheeks.
“Well, you’re odd.”
“Odd?”
“Everything about you. Your movie tastes, your jokes, your ice cream flavors.” He hums, with a soft shrug. “It’s not a bad thing, I’m just.. Trying to figure you out.”
“You’d be the first to accomplish such a feat.”
He laughs at that, and he’s so beautiful.. That you cannot help yourself when you lean up and gently press a soft kiss to those beautiful pretty pink lips that had caught your attention that morning. He kisses you back, without hesitation.
You feel at peace for the first time in years, as if everything you had gone through, every moment of torture and pain, has been worth it because it leads you to this. To Handsome Matthew, who kisses you so tenderly that no matter how simple it is, you are left breathless and desperate for more. You lean into him, deepening the kiss, pushing him back a bit, his back pressed against the stacks. The book in your hands is crumpled, and eventually, Matthew pulls away, before pushing you back a bit.
“Easy,” He says breathlessly, and you need the reminder, because you try to catch your breath. Holy shit. “Easy, easy..” he repeats, his hands rubbing up and down your arms a bit. “I’ve got you, just breath.” He laughs, and you lean your forehead against your shoulder. Fuck.
“When can I see you again?” Is your only thought, and he chuckles gently.
“Whenever you want.” He promises, and you nod, before leaning up to kiss him again.
One day you’ll tell him everything. You’ll tell him all of the horrible things you’ve done and have had done to you, and you’ll tell him why the nightmares came, and why they won’t ever go away. One day, you’ll tell handsome Matthew why you sleep with a gun under your pillow and why you have no family and why you are so odd.
For now, you decide that you deserve a few nice things.
And when he kisses back, you realize that maybe he is just as infatuated with you as you are with him. Maybe. Maybe he is full of secrets and his own horrors that plague him while he sleeps, and maybe that’s the unspoken reason you are so deeply fascinated with one another.
Maybe.
Maybe you’ve spent the past ninety years going from fight to fight, to nightmare to nightmare. Maybe you’re owed some time in the sun with Handsome Matthew.
Maybe.
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I HAD RANDOM THOUGHT I WANT YOU TO EXPAND ON!! This came outta nowhere but won’t leave: imagine if you somehow casually made a joke about babies/ pregnancy (or just mentioned it for some reason) and Tan laughs and jokes it off like it’s nothing and then carries on, and you’re just so suddenly hurt by it?? And so you’re either snapping at him, leaving the room or harshly moving away from him/ not wanting to touch him anymore?? And you’re both confused and you’re hurt and he’s like “oh SHIT FUCK I GOTTA FIX THIS” idk how much sense this is making but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (and that’s how you finally admit to Tan that you’ve been having baby fever, ahhhhh!!)
ME?? YAY I FEEL SO SPECIAL. did this on my phone, so apologies for bad punctuation. also your argument one is in my drafts xx
TANGERINE NOT REACTING WELL TO YOUR COMMENT ABOUT FUTURE BABIES.
omg?!? like you’ve been wanting to integrate it into convos but you don’t wanna scare him. so yes like mentioned, you point out something cute and baby related. maybe you’re at the shop, and you walk around the clothing section and ‘happen’ to stumble upon the baby section
you’d point out how cute and tiny the little baby clothes are, and how you can’t wait to buy some?? or how you can’t imagine holding something so small. and he’s like “bit of a long way off” and laughs (but not in a patronising way, like a nervous, awkward laugh) and he’s moving the trolley to get out of the section (bc gotta get lots of stuff and doesn’t want to be wasting time??) and you don’t know what to say, and it kinda feels like a gut punch. bc that’s how he feels, and you feel the opposite
so you go quiet for the rest of the time in the shop and in the car you’re quiet. AND to make it extra angsty you have your knees tilted towards the door! tan asks if you’re okay, and what’s the matter etcetc. you say how it’s nothing. you feel hurt but you don’t want him to know, maybe you feel silly for being so upset about a small throw away comment
AND YES LIKE MENTIONED you avoid him a little bit and there’s a bit of friction bc you’re being distant and snappy and moody??
and you’re confused why you feel so hurt about the comment. and he’s also confused by your sudden coldness towards him
and he’s trying to rack his brain to figure out why you’re so upset and what’s got you feeling that way. but he comes up empty. so then he retraces steps to the moment you went off on him. and then he realises his little comment at the shop may have set you off
so he kinda corners you bc he wants you to talk to him without you walking off or shutting him down. and he’s like “you’re upset about how I reacted to that baby comment, right?”
and you take a few moments and then nod
he’s like “and you’ve been off with me because you want a baby, and what I said wasn’t what you wanted to hear?” he’s got you all figured out
edit —
and bc he’s a communication king, he wants to patch things over and he’s like “I thought you were playing around. I didn’t know that’s how you really felt” and he says how in the past when you’ve mentioned baby fever, they’ve always been really passing lighthearted comments. so he thought it was the same again
and so you say how you’ve had baby fever, and it’s been a lot different to all the other times. it’s lasted longer and been more intense etc
so he’s like “would you like a baby?” and he’s trying to get to the point but in a gentle reassuring way. like he’s trying to solve the problem
so you say something like “yes. but the timing is not right and if you don’t then neither do I”
and he’s a cutie and he says something about how he’ll make time or that there’s never a right or wrong time etc blah blah. or he wants a baby if you’re the mother
OHHHMYGODD MAYBE!!?? the reason you’ve been even more upset about it is bc you already found out that you are pregnant!??? but haven’t told him yet!!!???!!! so you’re even more upset that he seemed to be against it. but maybe the hormones scrambled your brain so you felt like his comment was that of betrayal
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funnywormz · 2 days
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I think this shitshow with Toshiro stems from the trend of people INSISTING that interpersonal conflict must be a moral failing. Like I think there's something to be said about how people afford so much less patience to people who are autistic in the "wrong" ways, but also Laios and Toshiro just clash on a fundamental level that has nothing to do with that. Hell, you could read Toshiro as autistic as well. People related to Laios' side of the argument but instead of getting any nuance out of it they started projecting their experiences with ableist people onto Toshiro.
AGREE AGREE AGREE. i think that Fandom Brain gets people very used to thinking of conflicts in terms of "who is the bad guy and who is the good guy", so when they encounter a more nuanced conflict they don't really know what to do. i don't think toshiro is a bad person at all, in his conflict with laios he's just exhausted and starving and has been pushed to the limit and from his perspective, laios doesn't even seem that emotionally affected by the situation. i don't think what he said was right and it was pretty cruel, but i don't think he's a villain or deserves to be permanently hated as a character just bc he fucked up this time lol
also yeah you could definitely read him as autistic, and i think that highlights an issue in the autistic community in general bc like....... a lot of autistic people have conflicting needs which can lead to conflict between them/make them unable to stand being around each other. and it's not because either of them are neurotypical or bad people, they're just incompatible. like autistic people who loudly stim vocally and autistic people who meltdown when they have to be around loud noises, for example. it doesn't mean either of them is bad or not autistic, just that they have conflicting needs
i 100% agree with the last part too. i disliked toshiro at first myself bc i had been (and still do ngl) projecting onto laios hard and the conflict they had reminded me of times when people have been mean or angry at me irl for social blunders i've made unintentionally, or when someone i thought liked me/was my friend turned out to actually hate me. it's a common experience for autistic people and that scene resonates with that! but i think it also helps to take a step back from projecting our own traumatic experiences onto the scene and just look at it objectively. laios isn't perfect either and he's the one who actually starts the physical fight by slapping toshiro (i feel like i don't see many people mention this lol). i feel super bad for him in that scene but he's not a perfect victim and has done things wrong himself too
as an autistic person i've also been in situations where i can relate to toshiro too lol, like where someone is overly physically and emotionally familiar with me when we don't know each other well and i've wanted them to back off but haven't been sure how to say it without hurting their feelings. this kind of conflict is far from just being a "neurotypical vs neurodivergent" thing as a lot of people portray it in the fandom
idk i just wish people would think a little more deeply about the scene and put their own emotions and experiences aside to instead consider the conflict with the added context of the individual characters and their respective cultures + the situation they're in. people don't have to like toshiro but i wish they wouldn't paint him as a villain or make up awful shit about him just to justify their feelings when he isn't even that bad of a dude in canon yknow 😑. also we literally see him at rock bottom struggling and freaking out and i think that's important to remember. in a different context i doubt he would have ever said those things to laios
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