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all-might-can-smash-me · 4 years

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Dad/Family headconons

Masterlist

Aizawa, Taishiro, Toshinori, Sir Nighteye, and Hawks

Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

Despite him being that kind of nonchalant, I don’t give a shit about anything kind of person.....he’s a family guy

Loves kids

He just wants you to have a huge army of kids following alongside you hand in hand to visit him at work.

Looks forward to being able to relate to someone else with his quirk

Doesn’t care if they are all girls, all boys, a mixture of both, or even fostering or adopting, he’s for everything

Was kind of afraid to open up about that side of himself when you two got married, but you are all for it too

Feels that he can handle it with your help thanks to having some experience with dealing with his students

Is slapped in the face with shock when you two have your first 2 or 3 kids because infants are, you guessed it, nothing like teens who are all emotional about becoming a prohero

Guess he would be prepared for whenever they would get to their teenage years

Except for periods because he didn’t know anything about them but he’ll probably take the time to learn about it from you

Still happy over his growing army though

Still loves the chaos of it all, plus it’s good to have Aizawa to control their quirks when they start to develop

The chaos also reminds him of his own time in school with his few friends he had....they were always so vibrant and loud unlike him and he kind of envied it (secretly)

Yamada and Kayama (Present Mic and Midnight) loves to visit his little army and spoil them with toys and snacks even if Aizawa disapproved of it

You helped hand out the toys and snacks.....Aizawa could suck it up

Napping piles are normal in this household, so don’t be freaked when you see all of your children curled up or around Aizawa under a pillow fort in the living room.

It breaks his heart everytime though when his kids beg to take a stray cat home and he has to say no....but he’ll end up going back on patrol to feed it and then probably cave in and bring it home anyway

He’ll just shrug off his children’s accusations of him being a ‘hypocrite’ for saying no to their pleas earlier and say something like ‘Well I said you couldn’t do it, nothing about me though’

The tea parties are lit and he’ll crush anyone at a video game

Taishiro Toyomistu/Fatgum

Really never thought about having his own kids until meeting Kirishima and Tamaki

Life was changed FOREVER since meeting them, now he would like to have his own family

It was kind of confusing to finally have the talk of having kids a couple of years into your marriage, but your views on having kids were changed too after meeting the two UA students

He let you on thinking just one or two kids were great, but you didn’t know if you should have been surprised that you were in the hospital room pushing out your 5th child

It was kind of funny to see Taishiro freaking out even if it was his 5th time next to you in labor

Your kids were so use to it they just sat out in the hallway doing their schoolwork or playing games on their iPads as Kirishima and Tamaki watched over them (your labor would always catch them while they were out on patrol)

I picture that all his kids are girls

He uses the excuse “just one more kid, maybe this time it’ll be a boy”, It’s NEVER a boy

I feel that he’s the dad to sneak home McDonald’s fries or ice cream to his kids despite you not liking it

Will take the blame when you catch one of your daughters munching on fries on the way back to her room (daughters will also try to take the blame, but how the heck could girls 13 and younger sneak out all the way to McDonalds)

He’ll also get all his daughters together to bake a cake and also decorate it. The creativity shown by his daughters will always amaze him.

He and his daughters would even clean up the kitchen together...mostly so that you wouldn’t get mad upon seeing the kitchen as a disaster

Gets way into watching Barbie’s Life in the Dream House and secretly really loves our queen Raquelle

All Might/Toshinori Yagi

Just wants one little girl

To spoil her ROTTEN!

Seeing his friend David Sheild’s daughter Melissa grow up and look so happy always made him envious. Young Midoriya also played a huge role in his desire for at least one kid

One child was enough for the two of you and thankfully your first and only child was a girl

Gran Torino will also spoil her rotten along with Sir Nighteye

Will not be embarrassed to be caught sprawled out on the ground with your daughter playing with dolls

He’s actually quite proud of the fact that he doesn’t mind getting down and dirty when it comes to playing with ‘girly’ things with his young daughter unlike other dads

Loves to play Studio Ghibli movies for your daughter.....but Yagi is way more into it

I say this because Toshinori will try to hide his tears while watching My Neighbor Totoro as your daughter is fast asleep on his lap.

He will also sneak in a rated pg-13 hero movie from the United States in when your gone too....and then he’ll act surprise when your daughter would repeat the fowl language she heard in the movie

He would and WILL spend hours on YouTube to learn how to braid hair and put bows in and ribbons

He would bring her to work a lot too to see class 1A in action

Daughter will forever be his ‘baby’, so he HATES the thought of her starting to date and get married.

So when she admitted that the boy ‘Todoroki’ in his class was handsome while heading home one day from his work, he swore off boys....

He wasn’t surprised though, she was always managing to get Todoroki to hold her hand while Toshinori would have class 1A doing scenarios in teams and showing off her hair to him and asking if he noticed anything different.

Todoroki is a good sport, he held her hand and always complimented her hair...

Yeah she was mad at Toshinori and you made him unswear off boys, especially Todoroki

Brings your daughter to work just to brag about how he did her hair to EVERYONE

Mirai Sasaki/Sir Nighteye

Eh....he didn’t want kids, never had the desire tbh

Though something about UA students’ charming personalities making these heroes want families. Mirio got him thinking one kid couldn’t be so bad

You were shocked when he asked to have a kid, but you agreed....after discussing it for awhile to make sure he wanted this

I picture him having one cute, little shy boy

Like the cute little boy with glasses who wears those cute shorts with a bug related shirt that just wants to search for roly-poly in the dirt and grass in the back yard

Very quiet and a bit shy around new people, but is literally the most polite little boy in the WORLD

Nighteye will use his quirk on his son when out looking for bugs to just see if he missed something in the grass or dirt, but that’s as far as he’ll use it

The reason why Nighteye thinks he’s so funny is because your son (and you of course along with mirio) are the only ones who laugh at his jokes, especially your son

Your son finds ANYTHING his dad says or does hilarious. His dad made a gasp of excitement along side his son upon finding a millipede? Instant laughter will follow

Those bouts of laughter from his son is the best feeling in the world to him

Tried to make your son an expert on All Might, but gave up when he came to his conclusion that your son just wasn’t into it.

It was kind of weird at first to find out his son was just simply NOT into heroes, but now he just loves the fact that his son likes what he likes and doesn’t let himself get swayed by others, even his own mom and dad

If you can’t make his little boy, his pride and joy, laugh? Sorry, but don’t talk to Nighteye or his son ever again

He will sit and listen to his little boy go on and on and on and ON about anything and never get bored (or show it). He will sit and listen intently about the cool facts about the bug he found or a plant.

He’d even listen to the longest explanation about a tiny little squiggle on a piece of paper that he drew on if it was being told by his little boy.

Will even put a meeting on hold just to answer a FaceTime from his son from your phone just to listen to him talk about a leaf he made a pressing of....and will sit there with the volume all the way up on his phone too so the others in the room can hear as well.

Will spend all night pinning bugs to a board to frame and label just for your son

Keigo Takami/Hawks

He didn’t even want to date tbh

Though when he met you? The cliche ‘love at first sight’ happened and soon the two of you were married pretty quickly and boy was he a happy man

He didn’t really even want kids either. He just didn’t want to have kids and somehow they end up with a childhood like his that’s not the greatest or most normal, plus he was happy with the little domestic life with you.

But then IT happened. You know, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much and poof, a baby? Yeah....

He was TERRIFIED, but once your first child came into the world, a new sense of happiness sparked within him, like his own eyes opened for the first time to the world

This happened twice more, ending up with his happy family consisting of you, his two boys, and his little girl.

He’s the kind of dad to have his wallet FILLED with pictures of his kids and you. He will shamelessly show them off to fans while on patrol and also to Endeavor....even if he’s seen them a trillion times. Also his office is filled with framed pictures too

He also gets in trouble a lot along with his two boys for playing to rough and loudly within the house by you, especially for flying and being too competitive with video games and ANY activity he would take part in with them.

What can he say? His sons were like the best friends he was never able to have as a kid, he wanted to take in the beauties of having an energetic family

He doesn’t play favorites, but when it comes to his little girl? Sometimes he’ll catch a feeling of her feeling like she’s the odd one out when it comes to her two older brothers and he can relate to that feeling.

So he’ll set aside some dad and daughter time to do the things she likes, like read, color, and draw

He would even let her do his hair with tiny braids and color pieces of clip in hair and many butterfly clips. Keigo would also then wear it out proudly on patrol and check his reflection MULTIPLE times to make sure everything was in place.

He would then shout to the press and paparazzi that his daughter did his hair, showing it off in the process

When the picture would come out with the headliner ‘Hawks’ New Look Thanks to Daughter’ for the news the next day, the look of pride and awe on your daughters face upon looking at the front cover of the magazines and newspapers at the store you and his family would shop at would absolutely melt his heart melt

He’s the first one to pull back the covers to let his children climb in when scared by a thunderstorm or the spooky shadow in their room even if they may be getting ‘too old’ to be doing that...according to Endeavor however, so that information might be wrong

Bribes his kids not to tell you that he entered the house through the window and not the front door

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 7 years

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Update: I apologise for all my updates within the spring 2017 debuts. I had stuff due prior to the spring season and so I’ve gone all out in compiling my thoughts and then comparing my thoughts to ANN’s.

(Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga 12)

“Monkey”? I thought it had to do with Todo (whose first name is Saburota, remember, and so could be mangled to become saru or monkey) but I guess…not…?

I thought Shiemi was gonna do a love confession! Where’d Nemu go while all the action was happening though? Plus, Nemu reminds me of Yuji Yata (Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service) and vice versa.

Super Coke and Panta, LOL.

I can’t believe they’re so willing! I remembered this happened but now that I see it animated, it seems a little too fast!

Anmitsu is a red bean dessert – you hear about it for the Kashuu/Yasusada ship in Touken Ranbu (it’s what the ship is called, due to kanji readings). Kuzukiri though…I haven’t heard of it, so here you go.

I never knew you could use the fact Rin is the son of Satan for humour. I never knew it could work, either.

If kemono = pickles…then what are Kemono Friends?! *gasps* (LOL, I kid, I kid…)

Okay, now the “son of Satan’s gonna torch you” gag is tired. That was fast.

What’s a Tawawa? Isn’t that “Tawawa on Monday”?...No? I guess it’s the name of the tower’s mascot then.

Yukio with his straight face, LOL.

Is it “quality brother time” or “brother quality time”? I think it’s the former.

I can finally read Rin’s shirt now. It says “teriyaki” in katakana.

Well, that’s the end of Blue Exorcist for now. See you some other time.

(Classicaloid 25)

Oh, that’s why there are aliens in this show…

It’s interesting to note they used the Bird’s Nest for Beijing rather than Tiananmen Square or the Fobidden City.

So Kyougo was in China. Geez, these stereotypes are a bit hackneyed…

Tchaiko’s so depressed when Bach appears. It makes sense though.

“It just doesn’t strike a chord.” – Perfect phrase for a Classicaloid.

Disco Bach. Now that’s something you don’t see every day.

I haven’t noticed there were white musical notes on the eyecatch until now.

I was wondering why Hasshie, Pad-kun, Kanae and Sousuke were rigged up like how they were in one of the s2 visuals. The reason…let’s just say, I LOVE IT! I’m not entirely a fan of 6th rangers in general, but I love transformations, remember? Rare transformations are all the better to watch again and again!

Doot-doo-doo-doot-doo-doo-doo-doo-doot-doot-doo-doo-doot-doo-doo. It’s Ode to Joy!

Like, look at it. The October airing was definitively confirmed! See you again in October, then.

(Boku no Hero Academia 14)

I skipped the simulcast commentary on the recap episode, as I always do. Disclaimer: I wander around the BnHA wiki a bit so expect to see “I knew that already”s all over the place.

Dang, Deku looks eeeeeeevil in that one intro scene where he’s all lit up.

Those taiyaki (fish-shaped buns) look tasty…

I’ve seen some spoilers so I know Toshinori Yagi is All Might’s real name and All Might’s predecessor (who I thought was the recipient of the letter) was a woman named Nana. Thus, beard man must be Gran Torino, All Might’s mentor.

Katsu, LOL. Ever since YoI, I can’t stop thinking about Yuri K after seeing a pork cutlet.

Best Jeanist (1st person in background), some guy I don’t know…and Endeavour. Spoilers can be annoying like that.

I knew why Ochako became a hero too, but...her name means “carefree”? Never heard that one before.

They say that if there’s a leaf sticking up in your tea, it’s good luck…I think that’s how it goes with green tea, anyways.

I don’t think I’ve seen BnHA go and do a fanservice thing with its girls until now, which 1) is odd for a show with a teacher called “18+ Only Hero Midnight” and 2) simultaneously makes sense as an all ages hero anime. The emphasis in this show is on the action and on Deku, not just the girls, but going to the girls for fanservice only now does kinda show how the audience has grown up enough for this ED trope to be ued.

(Kado 0)

I’ve been hyped for this ever since I found out it was coming. I do have my doubts about the CGI, but somehow I know this work will be good. Besides, it’s my first fully CGI work in the simulcast commentary – I can’t really let that sort of chance go while I can still do it (because most 3D CG anime are Netflix exclusive). Update: Why have I covered an episode 0? This one seems important to the plot, that’s why. (Well, admittedly...they had to have an episode 0 for a reason, right?)

Ooh, that OP’s real pretty and the language (the one “Ninovo” is written in) intrigues me.

I knew I’d be fine with the CG – if there’s CG everywhere one instance of CG doesn’t stand out – but I wasn’t expecting to be dipping my toes in something so…adult.I was expecting the government affairs, but land restitution? If it weren’t for Shizuna-whatshisname and what came before this, I’d be gone, y’know? (Come to think of it though, anime can make even adult things like taxes engaging, so if you gave me an engaging anime about taxes, I’d take it. After SGRS, I’m more open to this sort of mature content, too.)

There’s been a picture on ANN of Dantalian no Shoka and the dude in it looks like Masayoshi (Samurai Flamenco). When Hanamori is shocked and leaning to the side, he looks like Masayoshi too…

I’d like to know how to make those pleated tail birds.

Strangely, this anime is more flat than I thought a 3D CG anime would look. Update: I raised my eyebrow at the part where Shindo pulls the suit pants off Hanamori, but it kinda made sense to me since Hanamori was drunk...at least it’s better than lucky underwear (Marginal #4).

What could be bigger than a land reform project? Oh, I dunno, aliens? (clearly sarcastic)

It’s not even Google, it’s Setten, LOL.

Chicken nanban. Seems tasty. I also didn’t question this until now, but this is MLIT.

Mac laptop! Dangit!

Hanamori is such a shonen protag, I swear he is basically Masayoshi in disguise as a Cabinet worker.

Hanamori’s face in the commemorative photo, LOL.

Uh-oh. Things are starting to look more CG now…

The ED is kind of a disappointment after the wonderful showing I got from the OP and the episode…plus Hanamori is kinda annoying with his “Shindo-kun!” “Shindo-kun!”…one thing’s for sure, this is one show to keep an eye on…for the moment, at the very least.

(Kado ep 1)

UN?! Wow, Shindo’s crazy good at his job…

Sometimes opening sequences of shows (not the OP, but rather the opening few minutes of the show) can be recap-heavy, but at least Kado doesn’t do that.

Interesting to note CR chose metres as opposed to miles, as I have huge gripes about Detective Conan getting all its measurements turned into miles and inches…

Tokyo Netro and NNK, LOL.

“Have there been any casualties so far?” By the way, the government uses Windows. I wonder if any Japanese people use Linux? Update: I did find Kanata Shinawa at odds with how she lead the government, but at least she knew what she was doing.

Ferrofluid.

Overtechnology – it doesn’t seem to be a dictionary word, but it seems to exist in Macross. To quote this page: “Many of the technologies of Overtechnology are stables of Science Fiction, such as Hyperspace and Artificial/Anti-Gravity.”

AP rounds. The AP stands for “armour piercing”.

Yay! Finally whatshisname appears! (I’ll just call him Shunina for now, since I can’t keep typing out his name or “whatshisname” all the time…) Update: I knew Shindo was the protag, but if you went in without that knowledge, you’d mistake Hanamori to be it. Huh. It’s sort of a good twist, but if they could do without Hanamori, that would make the show even better.

(Haine 1)

Why am I interested in this? It’s obvious from the key visual…

Nice use of perspective/camera tricks to fool the viewer, eh? The show really is kinda charming in a Kuroshitsuji-type way, actually.

Leonhard gives the burn straight! Ow!

Leonhard is basically the twins from Boueibu…? Especially Haru.

Licchie? Or Licchan? (did not use volume) I wonder if CR’s getting in on making English equivalents of Japanese nicknames now, too. Update: Licht is ri-hi-to, so it might not actually be CR’s fault there…

Playboy??? *thinks about the magazine* Ew.

Strangely, Kai’s was the funniest introduction out of all 4. (Or was that not strange…?)

Basically Nanny McPhee but with a teacher and students…LOL. Actually, it’s more Denpa Kyoushi, but Denpa Kyoushi doesn’t seem to have this atmosphere.

Come to think of it, maybe this was adapted because of the popularity of Osomatsu-san?

Tschuss.

This is…actually pretty funny, but it seems a tad lackluster because of the dulled shoujo-esque colour scheme. On the other hand, Leo really is both twins from Boueibu in one!

Sachertorte. I’ve heard of it before but I forgot what it was. Also, I didn’t think Japanese people would’ve heard of sachertorte. Witness the mighty skill of the internet to connect the world!

I had a vague suspicion that the reason Leo didn’t like teachers was because of how they treated him (specifically put him on a pedestal) because he was a prince, but there was always this sad feeling lingering since the interview began, as if I understood him.

I have the feeling the word for “language” specifically was kokugo, but since they speak Japanese and don’t confirm their setting is German in any way, shape or form (even though there are hints to the contrary), let’s go with “Japanese” as the national language.

Wiener melange? Or just a melange? By the way, tagebuch.

It turns out I do understand Leo…”I’m not good at socialising” is me to a tee.

Notice Leo called the tutor “Heine”, meaning this may not run off Japanese honorific standards.

GDI, priest guy (Bruno, since his reading a book there makes him look like a priest).

Ooh, the Alphonse Mucha style ending really does the show a favour, although Heine singing makes this a lil’ cliched in a weird way you just don’t expect from this show. Apart from that, I’d never think people would idolise Germany the same way they do Japan…unless 1) they have a person related to them who is/speaks German, 2) they like German food or 3) they like German technology (which is top-notch, to my knowledge). I’m kinda neutral on German stuff myself, so if I follow this I wonder what’ll become of me. Update: Oh yes, no. 4) They are German themselves.

Carrot, bell peppers and sachertorte? Ew.

Well, I’m keeping this show on. It better not let me down even though I only narrowly decided not to pick it for the ANN streaming stuff. It’s not a groundbreaker, but it’ll definitely be nice to have around…

Update: I forgot to mention I was vaguely disturbed by Heine’s reading of Leonhardt’s diary (mostly by the fact Heine found the diary in the first place - who puts an unsecured diary in a place that’s a little too accessible?), but since it didn’t do much damage to anyone but Leo and it was entirely played for comedy, I wrote it off. If it were a serious show, I may have had to bail.

(Sagrada Reset 1)

I dunno why the English translation is Sagrada when the Japanese is Sakurada. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Didn’t the character descriptions say Sumire was gonna die???

David Production – those Jojo’s guys? I don’t think I’ve seen anything from them until now.

Ugly CG cars, ick.

Haruki’s power reminds me of Erased except this exposition dump here makes her sound pretentious.

I would expect Haruki to be the android.

Was the “please let go” meant to be funny? I almost laughed before realising how serious Sakurada Reset is.

(without volume) Haruki’s so lifeless I expect her to disappear any moment now whenever Kei looks to the side. (with volume) I still think she’s lifeless…

Well, at least they explain why she’s so lifeless…by the way, I seem to remember I wrote a story like this: Next to Me.

August 14th, the day of Kagerou Project, LOL. I watch too many time travel shows.

No one rides swings.You sit on the swing!

Even though I can tell this show will go through some themes very thoroughly and the animation is consistent, it’s a bit of a chore to watch. I was waiting for the end of the episode about 17 minutes in, so I’ll put this on hold (because of the Mari twist near the end – that at least shows promise). The Sumire part doesn’t seem as convincing animation-wise though, which is disappointing as that’s the main plot of the show, right? Update: The reason why I label it a chore is because it’s hard to read the subs on this sometimes, the animation is limited and because it’s easy to miss Haruki’s resets - I actually missed the first one.

Update: Just a note on my preferences - the reason why I think such a show is a chore to watch is because I prefer shows with a distinct personality and/or charisma. Sagrada seems to have a personality, but it hasn’t become fleshed out yet because of all the potential under the surface, and it lacks charisma because of how serious it is.

#simulcast commentary #Ao no Exorcist #classicaloid #Seikai Suru Kado #Boku no Hero Academia 2 #boku no hero academia #Sagrada Reset #oushitsu kyoushi haine #the royal tutor #Chesarka watches AoEx #Chesarka watches Classicaloid #Chesarka watches Kado #Chesarka watches Oushitsu Kyoushi Haine

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weekendwarriorblog · 5 years

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND December 14, 2018 - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse, The Mule, Mortal Engines, Once Upon a Deadpool

After two weeks with just one wide release between them, we’re back to the slew of releases that are going to vie for business over the holidays, and while this weekend is fairly busy, next week is going to be absolute madness! One thing that needs to be remembered is that the early part of December always tends to be slower than usual as people spend more time/money buying Christmas gifts for others and getting in some overtime before the holiday break. Because of this, many movies released over the next two weeks might not completely achieve their opening week potential, instead setting things up for some serious legs over the Christmas-New Year’s break. It happens every single year and it creates an environment where you can have movies like The World’s Greatest Showman and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle opening moderately but having ginormous legs.

SPIDER-MAN: ENTER THE SPIDER-VERSE (Sony)

What was once seen as the low-man on the superhero totem pole for 2018 is now looking to be the biggest surprise of the year, as this animated take on the popular Marvel superhero is given new life via animation and a shift to a few newer and younger takes on Spider-Man than have been seen in the live-action movies.

Spider-Man: Enter the Spider-Verse came into being during the Amy Pascal exit deal that got Sony and Marvel Studios co-producing Spider-Man films like last year’s hit Spider-Man: Homecoming, one of Sony’s two huge blockbusters from 2017, as well as one of the studio’s top 5 biggest hits. This one is produced by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who has had huge success with Sony Pictures Animation with Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and its sequel, as well as the R-rated 21 Jump Street and its sequel. They also helped launch Warner Bros’ LEGO movie brand with The LEGO Movie, which grossed $469 million worldwide and has a sequel coming out in a few months.

This is a somewhat different superhero movie, not only because it’s animated, but also because it focuses on the character Miles Morales, voiced by Shameik Moore fromDope, and then surrounding him with alternate versions of Spider-Man, including one voiced by Jake Johnson (Jurassic World) and the popular Spider-Gwen, voiced by Hailee Steinfeld. There’s also odder incarnations like Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham, voiced by John Dulaney, as well as different takes on popular Spider-villains.

Critics so far have been raving about the movie with the movie currently at 99% Freshwith 104 reviews (at this writing). Much of that has to do with the unique comic storytelling and innovative animation that makes it look unlike any other animated movie. The movie had sneak previews this past Saturday in IMAX theaters, which will also help generate word-of-mouth for the film’s wide release Thursday night.

What’s good is that this is a PG-rated Spider-Man movie that will allow younger kids to see it who might not be able to convince their parents to take them to a PG-13 Spider-Man movie, but also, the fact that Miles Morales is black and Latino means the movie could attract an even larger urban audience than other Spider-Man movies. We’ve already seen that the demand is out there for more diverse superheroes with the success of Marvel Studios’ Black Panther to the tune of $700 million domestic.

Obviously, the movie has a lot going for it, and not just the fact that Spider-Man continues to be one of the most beloved and recognizable superheroes out there even with the twists introduced in this movie. Last month, it didn’t seem like Enter the Spider-Verse could crack $30 million but with all of the buzz and hype generated from the press, as well as awards attention, this could be seen as a viable family offering with Ralph Wrecks the Internet having already been around for three weeks.

Expect Enter the Spider-Verse to open at #1 with $35 to 40 million and though it has Warners’ Aquaman AND Disney’s Mary Poppins Returns nipping at its tail in a week, I think its uniqueness will help drive word-of-mouth so that it has a nice spike over the holidays much like Jumanjidid last year. In other words, don’t be shocked if this one leaves theaters with $150 million or more sometime next year.

My Review of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

THE MULE (Warner Bros.)

Clint Eastwood is back with his second movie of 2018, and this is not the first time the filmmaker has released two movies, although this might be the first year where neither of those movies are vying for awards. More importantly, this is Eastwood’s first appearance in front of the camera since 2012’s Trouble with the Curve co-starring Amy Adams, which opened with $12.2 million on its way to $35.7 million gross. This movie has Eastwood playing a farmer who takes on jobs delivering drugs to make ends meet… no, I’m not sure why he doesn’t get his mule to do that, since the movie is called “The Mule” but whatever.

On top of that, the movie co-stars Bradley Cooper, coming off his huge blockbuster Oscar fodderA Star is Born, which is close to grossing $200 million, plus Cooper previously starred in Eastwood’s highest-grossing movie to date, American Sniper. That movie grossed $350 million and was one of the biggest films that year.

The movie is opening in December as counter-programming to just about everything else, trying to interest older men and women, especially those in the Red States, who may be too old or disinterested in an animated Spider-Man movie. Reviews are still embargoed as of this writing, but I get the impression that they will be better than some might expect.

Even so, it’s hard to imagine The Mule will do nearly as well as Sniperor even Gran Torino, but opening it relatively wide rather than platforming it like those films, Warner Bros. probably wants this to be an option for holiday-viewing during that week everyone is off around Christmas.

Because it’s opening in the tougher weeks before Christmas, The Mule probably will open lower than normal, probably in the $14 to 16 million range, but if it’s any good, it should act as decent counter-programming to the superhero fare and musicals of the season, so maybe it can do closer to $65 million than the $35 to 50 million of other recent Eastwood offerings.

Mini-Review: It’s safe to say that if you go into Clint Eastwood’s movie thinking you know all of what to expect from the trailer and general plot, you’re likely to be wrong.

In his second movie (at least as a director) of 2018, Eastwood plays Earl Stone, a Peoria, Illinois-based horticulturist who has fallen on hard times to the point where he’s losing his greenhouse, but he’s also been dealing with family issues, including an estranged daughter (played by Clint’s daughter Allison Eastwood) and an angry ex-wife (Dianne Wiest). At a reception for his granddaughter’s wedding, he meets a young man who gives him a business card to earn some extra money driving; turns out that he would be delivering drugs for the Mexican cartel, but the Earl money makes doing so, and what he’s able to do with that money seemingly makes it worth it.

Earl Stone is another great Eastwood character, a cranky curmudgeon, completely incorrect politically, but also quite lovable. Reteaming with his Gran Torino writer Nick Schenk – working from a New Yorkerarticle -- gives Eastwood another chance to play with his public perception as a cranky old man, which he seems to relish, but also, it allows him to play with a different version of that character than in Gran Torino.

As Earl gets better at his driving gig, the DEA is on his tail in the form of Bradley Cooper, Michael Peña and their supervisor, played by Laurence Fishburne, who insists that they get some busts. It’s fairly obvious that Earl is either going to be caught or killed as long as he continues.

In many ways, the film gave me some of the same feelings I had while watching David Lowery’s underrated The Old Man and the Gun, starring Robert Redford and Casey Affleck. The movie is warm and funny during the first act but it eventually becomes more of a cat-and-mouse tale of Earl and his handlers trying to avoid the DEA, which

It’s also impossible to ignore the incredible work by Dianne Wiest as Earl’s wife, a role that gives her a lot of opportunities to show how deserving she was to receive two Oscars and how equally deserving she would be to get a fourth nomination.

The results are an intriguing morality tale that keeps you invested in Earl’s story throughout. It isn’t a perfect movie, but honestly, if this ends up being Clint Eastwood’s swan song, either as a director or actor, then he’s going out on a high note. Rating: 7.5/10

MORTAL ENGINES (Universal)

In any other year or weekend, this adaptation of Philip Reeve’s 2001 Y.A. novel, the first of a series of four books, being adapted by the team behind The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit may have been one of the biggest movies of the holiday season. Unfortunately, that probably won’t be the case.

The fact that I knew next to nothing about this movie which comes out Friday – it involves giant Battlebot-like cities on wheels, apparently -- is proof there was a major fail in some aspect of this movie’s marketing strategy. Sure, I’ve seen quite a few trailers and none of them impressed me more than the ones for that Nutcracker that I really wanted to see for a while. But at least that movie had a known name-brand from decades of Christmas pageants and name stars; are that many fans of the Mortal Engines book really clamoring for this movie?

Sure, it’s exciting that it was written and produced by Peter Jackson with his frequent collaborators Fran Walsh & Philippa Boyden, since we haven’t seen anything from them since The Hobbit trilogy ended in 2014, but even those started to peter out with each installment. The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey opened with $84 million in 2012, but the third installment The Battle of Five Armies opened with $30 million less and grossed $255 million vs. $300 million domestically.

This adaptation is directed by Christian Rivers, who won an Oscar for his visual effects work on Jackson’s King Kong, and he’s been doing visual FX or other duties on most of Jackson’s films over the years. Probably the only exciting names in the credits are that of Hugo Weaving of the aforementioned Lord of the Rings and the Matrix trilogy, as well as Stephen Lang from the Avatarfranchise, however many movies that ends up being. It stars Icelandic actor Hera Hilmar, best known from Joe Wright’s Anna Karenina and the short-lived Da Vinci’s Demons show. She stars opposite Robert Sheehan, who recently appeared in Bad Samaritan with David Tennant.

Beyond the fact that there isn’t a big-name star to get people interested, the enthusiasm towards Y.A. material has deteriorated greatly in recent years with series likeDivergentand The Mortal Instrument movies failing to the point where they were moved over to television. Popular books like The 5thWave, The Host and The Giver have faltered with bigger name stars, as has The Maze Runner trilogy, which to Fox’s credit, they completed even with the decrease in interest from moviegoers. Since then, they failed to find an audience with The Darkest Minds, while the lower-budgeted The Hate U Give(also starring Amandla Stenberg) is doing slightly better (hopefully boosted by its wins at the L.A. Online Film Critics this past weekend).

And then there are the early reviews for the movie, which are not good and that won’t help convince anyone on the fence to shell out their hard-earned cash to see this.

Even though Mortal Engines is opening in over 3,000 theaters, I just don’t feel very much excitement for the movie among non-readers, especially when compared to Into the Spider-Verse. Because of that, I feel like it might end up in the $13 to 15 million range, which would be absolutely horrible. It also might fall short of 2ndplace against Clint Eastwood’s The Mule, only because Clint is a much more solid known quantity with moviegoers.

Mini-Review: Imagine if you’re an FX artist who has been working with a visionary filmmaker like Peter Jackson for most of his career, and one day, Mr. Jackson comes up to you and says, “Christian,” (because that is your name) “I want you to direct my latest script, and you can use the finest production designers and FX people that money can buy.” And he plops this script he wrote with his frequent collaborators down in front of you and it’s something called “Mortal Engines.” You read it with interest imagining all the amazing visuals you can use to bring the world of this script to life, and you take on the role eagerly even though you’ve never directed a big budget feature film before. I certainly don’t want to pass judgment or cast aspersions on director Christian Rivers for his background in FX, because it’s almost become a cliché when an FX guy direct a movie, and that movie is better for its visuals than for the story or characters.

The central story revolves around these enormous tank-like moving cities including “predator cities” like London that are larger and vaster than the small moving villages they overcome and grind down for fuel and parts. Hannah Shaw is the inhabitant of one such city (Hera Hilmar) that’s engulfed by London, but she has a vendetta against London’s lead archivist Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving), but she ends up stranded outside London with a young Thaddeus protégé named Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan) after an altercation with Valentine. At the same time, London has been at war with the non-traction Asian region of Shan Guo, represented by the rebellious Anna Fang (Jihae), who recuses Tom and Hannah as they’re being chased by Shrike (Stephen Lang), a “Resurrected,” basically a walking metal skeleton, much like the Terminator, who pursues them to get to Hannah.

Other than Hugo Weaving and the unrecognizable Lang, this is a cast with so little charisma you rarely care about any of the characters, nor can you keep track of who is good, who is bad, who is this or that person? Are they important? Do we care if they die? That’s not a good place to be when you’re hit in the head with so much narrative and so many wild locations and vehicles, which granted, are quite glorious to behold. No one can say that the production design, art and visual FX teams didn’t put in the work to make Mortal Engines a fantastic-looking film.

Regardless, Mortal Engines feels like a big-screen Y.A. adaptation coming too late in the game when the Twilight and Hunger Games franchises have managed to sate that audience’s appetite, which tries to hit us over the head with a “war is bad” message, which is also likely to fall on deaf ears. Better idea? Skip this and go see Peter Jackson’s WWI doc on Monday instead (see below), because there’s just so much more to get out of that movie then watching this one. Rating: 5.5/10

ONCE UPON A DEADPOOL (20thCentury Fox)

Opening Wednesday is a strange anomaly of a superhero movie, being a PG-13 rerelease of Deadpool 2, which came out earlier this year and grossed $318.5 million domestically. It’s a little strange to think that Fox would try to squeeze out a few more pennies by releasing an edited/censored version of the movie, but apparently there’s new footage being advertised including scenes with Fred Savage.

Again, this seems like it’s competing directly against the stronger Spider-Man: into the Spider-verse. Playing in just 500 theaters (and opening on Wednesday) means it’s going to be tough to make much of a mark over the weekend. I do think that there may be some college-age guys who might go see this instead, but it definitely feels like Deadpool 2 ran its course months ago. It might break into the bottom of the top 10 with around $2.5 to 3 million but even that might be overly-optimistic.

On the other hand, Yorgos Lanthimos’ acclaimed period comedy The Favourite will be expanded into around 525 theaters by Fox Searchlight to take advantage of the buzz from awards and nominations of which more will roll out this week.

With three new wide releases and more to come next week, the returning movies are going to start losing theaters fast, so we could see some bigger drops for movies like Ralph Breaks the Internet and Fantastic Beasts in particular.

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse (Sony) - $36.5 million N/A

2. The Mule (Warner Bros.) - $14.6 million N/A

3. Mortal Engines (Universal) - $12.8 million N/A

4. The Grinch (Universal) - $9 million -40%

5. Ralph Breaks the Internet (Disney) - $8.6 million -47%

6. Creed II (MGM) - $5.3 million -47%

7. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (Warner Bros.) - $3.3 million -52%

8. Bohemian Rhapsody (20thCentury Fox) - $3.2 million -48%

9. The Favourite (Fox Searchight) - $2.9 million +200%

10. Once Upon a Deadpool (Fox) - $2.7 million N/A

LIMITED RELEASES

Before we get to the weekend’s limited releases, I wanted to give a little added attention to a new documentary directed by Peter Jackson that will premiere via Fathom Events in select theaters for two nights only, Monday December 17 and December 27. THEY SHALL NOT GROW OLD (Warner Bros.) is a fantastic documentary that shares stories from World War I through recorded interviews with some of the men who served, used to narrate black and white silent footage that was filmed during the “war to end all wars,” Jackson being commissioned by the Imperial War Museum to make a movie out of the archived footage and audio recordings. It isn’t as simple as that might sound, because Jackson took that black and white silent footage, colorized it, used computer FX to make it 3D and added sound FX to really put you into this horrifying trench war. It’s really amazing to watch what starts out as a black and white film with an old aspect ratio expanded to fit the big screen as it becomes more and more vivid and detailed. It’s also crazy to think that everyone we see or hear in this movie is very likely dead since 2018 is the 100thanniversary of the end of World War I. You can find out where this is playing on Monday at the Fathom Events site, and I highly recommend it for History Channel enthusiasts because it’s a very different experience of a war that hasn’t been covered in quite this way before.

Barry Jenkins’ long-awaited follow-up to his Oscar-winning Moonlight is IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK (Annapurna), his adaptation of James Baldwin’s novel, which opens Friday after an acclaimed festival run. It stars newcomers Kiki Layne and Stephen James as Tish and Fonny, a young couple in love who run into troubles when Fonny is erased leaving the pregnant Tish to have to deal with trying to get him released as well as having a baby on her own. The drama also stars Regina King as Tish’s mother, a role likely to get her an Oscar, and Colman Domingo as her father. I’ve become quite fascinated by Baldwin since watching the doc I Am Not Your Negro, and I was definitely interested in how he might tackle a fictional story, which is already having a deep social impact and relevance with African-Americans. You can read more of my thoughts from out of the New York Film Festival, where the film had its US premiere, but I liked the film quite a bit more on second viewing, especially how the love story between Tish and Fonny was portrayed by two fantastic young actors. The movie will open in select cities this week, then slowly expand before being nationwide on Christmas Day.

From Lebanon comes CAPERNAUM (Sony Pictures Classics), the new film from Nadine Labaki (Caramel), which follows a young street kid named Zain (Zain Al Rafeea) who tries to survive after running away from home, angry about the way his sister and other kids are being treated by his foster parents. This is another fantastic film by Labaki that gives you some idea about the issues faced by Lebanon, including poverty and immigration and how they’re related. Zain Al Rafeea carries the film beautifully. It will open in New York and L.A. on Friday and likely will expand further if it gets an Oscar nomination in January.

A thematic sequel to the Norwegian disaster movie The Wave, John Andres Andersen’s THE QUAKE (Magnet) tells another story from the same series of earthquakes that rocks Norway. It will open in scattered cities but mostly can be seen On Demand via various platforms.

On Thursday, Netflix’s post-apocalyptic thriller Bird Box, based on Josh Malerman’s 2014 novel, will be released into select theaters Thursday before its Netflix streaming debut on December 21. Directed by Susanne Bier, it stars Sandra Bullock as the mother of two children who are blindfolded and led through a post-apocalyptic setting. Adapted by Oscar-nominated screenwriter Eric Heisserer (Arrival), it also stars Trevante Rhodes (Moonlight), John Malkovich, Sarah Paulson, Jacki Weaver, Rosa Salazar and Danielle Macdonald. I hope to write more about this next week after I’ve actually seen it.

After a controversial director’s cut screening last month, Lars von Trier’s The House That Jack Built (IFC Films) will get a presumably toned-down version released in select cities, although this version also runs 151 minutes, so who knows? It stars Matt Dillon as a serial killer who we watch killing various victims (including Uma Thurman) as he converses with a mysterious being (played by Bruno Ganz) on his way to the underworld.

Sam Abbas writes, directs and stars in The Wedding (ArabQ Films) about a young Muslim man preparing for his wedding to Sara (Nikohl Boosheri), although he has been keeping his homosexual inclinations a secret as they go against his religious upbringing. It will open at the Cinema Village in New York (with Abbas and other guests in person for a shows all weekend) on Friday.

Big River Man director John Maringouin’s Ghostbox Cowboy (Dark Star Pictures) stars David Zellner (of the filmmaking Zellner Brothers responsible for Damsel and Kumiko the Treasure Hunter) as Texan Jimmy Van Horn as a huckster cowboy who arrives in Shenzhen with ambitions of economic success with the help of his friend Bob Grainger (Robert Longstreet). This darkly comic morality tale also opens at the Cinema Village but it’s currently available On Demand.

Another movie barely getting a theatrical release is Matthew Brown’s Maine (Orion Classics), starring Laia Costa (Duck Butter, Life Itself) and Thomas Mann from Me, Earl and the Dying Girl about a woman who decides to hike the Appalachian trail solo until her trip is disrupted by a young American hiker, played by Mann. It’s in select theaters on Thursday then streaming On Demand Friday.

Fans of animation should always be up for this year’s 20th Annual Animation Show of Shows, which celebrates its 20thyear with some fantastic offerings like “The Green Bird,” Taiko Studios’ “One Small Step,” which had me ugly-crying at its story of a young girl’s dreams of becoming an astronaut, Alain Biet’s highly-innovative and hypnotic “Grands Canons,” Veronica Solomon’s eerie “Love Me, Fear Me” from Germany and many, many more. More than likely, some of these animated shorts might end up on the Oscar shortlist, but you can find out for yourself when the program opens at the Laemmle Theater on Friday then at New York’s Quad Cinema on Dec. 28.

STREAMING

Besides Alfonso Cuaron’s ROMA, which will start streaming on Netflix after a few weeks in theaters, Sunday will see the anticipated debut of Springsteen on Broadway, as the Boss finishes his run on Broadway with his one-man show as a taping of one of his shows streams on Netflix.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Things are getting mighty busy at my local repertory theater with a couple new series, including In the Year of the Grifter, an interesting series of films about con-men, frauds, fakes and such, which will include everything from Orson Welles’ Mr. Arkadinand F for Fake to Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street, Frank Oz’s Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, David Mamet’s House of Games and The Spanish Prisoner, as well as Stephen Frear’s The Grifters (likely where the series got its name). This amazing-looking series will run through the New Year, so check out the trailer below!

vimeo

The Metrograph has already begun its self-explanatory Miyazaki at Studio Ghibli, which mainly runs through the weekend tie-ing into the Miyazak doc mentioned above, but it could end up being extended through the holidays. If you’re a fan, you probably have already seen the six films being shown on DCP. Opening Friday is a digital restoration of Alexsey German’s 1998 oddball dark comedy Khrurstalyov, My Car!! (Arrow Films) which covers similar territory as The Death of Stalin in a far more madcap way. It really wasn’t for me.December’s offering from the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences is Richard Donner’s 1988 holiday classic Scrooged with Carol Kane, Karen Allen and co-writer Mitch Glazer appearing after the (sold out!) Saturday screening then showing two more times next week.Also on Saturday, you can check out the “Dream Double Feature” of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947) and the musical Top Hat (1935), both on 35mm, and later that evening, it’s the original Predator (1987), wrapping up the theater’s Bill Duke series. (Those last four are all on Saturday, so I might be moving into the Metrograph that day.)

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Wednesday and Thursday sees a double feature of The Last Safari and Shoot Out, while Friday is a double feature of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Motorpsycho! (sadly, already sold out online) and another midnight screening of Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs. The weekend begins the holiday classics like The Muppet Christmas Carol for the kids on Sunday afternoon, and Saturday night’s midnight screening is 1980’s Christmas Evil. Then on Monday and Tuesday is a double feature of Miracle on 34thStreet (1947) and Santa Claus: The Movie (1985).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

The Film Forum will show a 4k restoration of Yasujiro Ozu’s The Flavor of Green Tea over Ice (1952; Janus Films) for a one-week run, and this weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life, which also continues at the IFC Center below.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

The Egyptian will show the classic Auntie Mame (1958) starring Rosalind Russell on Wednesday (sold out) and Thursday nights. Filmmaker William Friedkin will be at the theater for a double feature of To Live & Die in L.A. (1985) and Cutter’s Way (1981)on Saturday, while Sunday is a restoration of Detour (in conjunction with a sneak preview of Karyn Kusama’s new crime drama Destroyer on Friday night).

AERO (LA):

The American Cinematheque’s theater will also be celebrating Japanese Anime legend Hayao Miyazaki (in conjunction with the doc mentioned above) with the series The Never-Ending Hayao Miyazaki, including screenings of My Neighbor Tatoro (Thursday), Spirited Away (Friday), a double feature of Howl’s Moving Castle and Kiki’s Delivery Service on Saturday and then the doc screened on Sunday.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Running for the next three weeks is the Quad’s Rated X series, which includes the likes of Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange, John Waters’ Desperate Living and Female Trouble, the controversial Last Tango in Paris, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1 and 2 and many many more films that raised the ire of the MPAA. Also on Friday, the Quad will premiere a 4k restoration of Luchino Visconti’s 1971 film Death in Venice, an adaptation of Thomas Mann’s novel about a German composer on vacation in Lido.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This weekend’s Late Night Favorites is Alejandro Jodorowsky’s El Topo, while Weekend Classicspresents the Coen Brothers’ True Grit. This weekend’s Shaw Brothers Spectacular is Buddha Palm from 1982.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

Friday’s midnight movie is Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands from 1990.

FILM SOCIETY OF LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

Christian Petzold: The State We Are Inwraps up on Thursday, which leads directly into Jacques Tourneur, Fearmaker, a retrospective of the 2ndgeneration French filmmaker responsible for 1942’s Cat People, 1943’s I Walked with a Zombie, 1944’s Days of Glory, 1964’s The Comedy of Terrorsand many more, all which will screened with others, many in 35mm. This looks like another fantastic series with many films being screened that haven’t seen on the big screen in many decades.

MOMA (NYC):

Modern Matinees: Douglas Fairbanks Jr. presents 1928’s The Barkeron Weds, John Irwin’s 1981 film Ghost Story on Thursday, and then back to 1929 with Our Modern Maidens on Friday. This series will continue through the end of the year. Italian actor and filmmaker Ugo Tognazzi gets his own retrospective called Ugo Tognazzi: Tragedies of a Ridiculous Man running through the end of the year.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

For some reason, I missed the first half of MOMI’s retrospective of Pawel Pawlikowski, who won an Oscar for Ida and has the fantastic Cold War out next week. This weekend you can see The Woman in the Fifth, starring Ethan Hawke, My Summer of Love featuring a very young Emily Blunt, and a reshowing of Ida. Not only that, but the museum is kicking off a Cher retrospective (to coincide with the opening of The Cher Show on Broadway?) with A Cher For All Seasons. If I lived closer to Astoria, I might check out some of the movies screening including Silkwood, Suspect, Moonstruck, Mermaids a director’s cut of Mask and many more. MOMI is also screening the doc Marwencol on Saturday night to coincide with the release of Robert Zemeckis’ adaptation Welcome to Marwen next week.

That’s it for this week. Next week, out of the frying pan and into the fire with FIVE more wide releases leading into Christmas. The big one are Aquaman, Mary Poppins Returnsand Bumblebee, but there are a couple others.

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