#not looking for an objection just a go and ill do it

[woncocat]

would y’all eviscarate me for making headcanons of redacted characters in the sesh 🍃(you know what it is.) on my main

#not looking for an objection just a go and ill do it #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redactedasmr #redacted headcanons

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is #i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good #it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them! #it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive #tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little #irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny #and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately #reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women #who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music' #to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their #personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny #i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit #among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me. #but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere #from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy #anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem #but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in. #anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3 #taylor swift

[dominote]

i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"

everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean

#light is decent at masking but he is NOT coming off as perfect to anyone who looks at him with a critical eye. like L or near #it's just that a lot of people take him at face value #he's handsome he gets top grades his dad is the police chief his family adores him girls like him etc #and he gets to skate off of that a lot until someone comes around and questions the mask #he unravels so fast once he gets closer to L. he fucks up the misa thing so badly even HE has to admit to L's face #that kira probably didn't think things through with the second kira and kind of panicked #ughhhhhhhhhhh i have so many thoughts about him. he works very hard to come off as socially competent. it's a learned skill not innate #i firmly believe there is some shit going on w light in terms of mental conditions. HOWEVER #i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling #lots of mentally ill people live pretty normal lives it turns out! a lot of us can get by and sort of manage! #even if it means masking and coping as needed #i don't think you have to be mentally ill to react to the death note the way light did #i do think it oiled some clockwork that was already ticking though #anyway. light is socially competent to some degree because he tries to be. sometimes it backfires. sometimes he misses. normal stuff #trying to say he is objectively socially adept or inept is futile though #but ig what is death note without black and white thinking and what is the dn fandom without diving into the nuances under the surface layer

[rainingmbappe]

The rise of "let people enjoy things" is single handedly the backbone of the rise of anti intellectualism

#i need to talk about this #disclaimer : im beyond terrible at putting my point across #so with that being said let me attempt at it #let's take look at the hate and misogyny women receive for liking a certain genre of books #that is so often simply countered with let people enjoy things #but we cannot let that narrative take over a whole as if critical thinking is “bad”? #booktok has made it so that disliking a popular books makes you the person with the superiority complex who should just let people enjoy- #-things #but when did criticizing actively target audiences who like that peice of literature? When did that become the narrative? #its all mindless consumption without a second thought to the actual material which can easily be credited to the tropification of books #the enemies do turn into lovers and the best friends do fall in love 10 years down the line #classifying books into tropes and then fulfilling that promise gives books an illusion of being “good” since it checks those boxes- #-that the reader picked up the book for in the first place #the act of reading has kind of been substituted by the act of being a reader and just owning stacks of books #we have turned away from any form of analysis or criticism #if it scratches the itch then its automatically the perfect book without further thought #i cant help but contribute the mere existence of that “itch” to how mordern books are classified into tropes with set plotlines #intelligenctualism is almost always looked at as elitism #reading only classics doesn't make you an intellectual individual but looking at any book with a critical lens may it be a classic or a rom #-com does #criticizing certain aspects of your absolute favorite books is intellectualism and not bullying people who like anything but classics #that distinction is so far lost in translation that talking about how a popular book is objectively bad is being a “hater” #well then im a hater #this is not a hate post for people who actively enjoy booktock or the more popular books #im just trying to introduce any amount of nuance into the conversation thats all #i can honestly go on forever but i think ill end my ranting here #literary criticism #literature #books #anti intellectualism

[skitskatdacat63]

Traje de luces are seriously peak design, they will literally never get old for me. Every once in a while I'll go on a hunt for more matador pics, and I feel like my art isn't even brushing the surface. Just the amount of poses, colors, situations I could draw is so endless WAUGH

Sometimes they're truly the only thing I want to draw :,) I want to live in a parallel universe where all our f1 boys are bullfighters instead

#my AUs are actually just me wanting to draw different clothes WHO KNEW #i mean yeah i write lore but 🥱 #though its funny bcs i do really love racesuits but god i really have no interest in drawing them #on the other hand: 18th century fashion. traje de luces. hussars. IM EATING THEM !!!!!!!!!! #im looking at pics of this one famous matador and like. hes not that attractive objectively but god he looks so hot as a matador #and hes an older guy but im looking at these pics like MAN MY ART WILL NEVER BE THIS GOOD #like I feel like nothing i draw will ever be enough nothing will ever fufill the urge in me ig #and i make up my own poses a lot but then i look at actual matador pics and god theyre just so fucking good its insane #and i keep seeing new traje de luces like new colors and designs and man truly the best costume ever designed #just the fact that they can wear a beautiful peachy pink color and it still looks so good even soaked in blood #yeah idk i think i feel this way w all my AUs #no matter how muvh i draw i still never feel satisifed or fufilled #I NEED TO EAT THEM. #maybe ill reblog w some pics i downloaded lol they make me insane #lol just saying this cause theres other things i reslly should be working on #but im constantly like matador go brrrrrrrrr #especially since my last one got a lot of notes 🤭🤭 #catie.rambling.txt

[todayisafridaynight]

time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist

#snap chats #can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP #anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay #i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough #ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway. #i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT #just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL #these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later #if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween #hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment #cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking #like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart #that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror #i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now #at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days. #breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence #NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny #anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe #the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is #and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG. #the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS #BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing #ok im leaving now BYE

[tamaharu]

What isekai are you reading if you don’t mind me asking?

okay... but youre not allowed to make fun of me... its called "50 tea recipes from the duchess." korean woman gets fired, gets isekai'd into the body of a duchess who is timid to the point of patheticness and everybody fuckin hates her. is like uggghh well i dont care if im hated as long as i have my special interest: TEA. and with her autistic girl swag (label pending) she makes both the society and her cold intimidating husband love her. 70% of it is her infodumping about tea to the delight of everyone around her.

#ask me no questions and ill tell you no lies #started reading it on tapas bc i was bored and it was free. embarrassingly got invested. #more uhh romance isekai? rather than like an action based one. its cute enough. not really groundbreaking but i like the FL. #we did manage to achieve a conversation between the protag and her body swapped soul so that was fun. #generally i dont support ppl who go on abt art that they only engage w for mindless fun or whatever bc theyre usually talking abt fuckin. #idk marvel movies or the latest army propaganda films or whatever. and generally the media they talk abt verges to harmful. #but i am an avid supporter of reading dumb shit you know is silly. all art has value including stupid stuff. #other dumb stuff ive read: at least two ~sexier~ manga/manhwa. former had surprisingly decent world building. #latter had an INCREDIBLY TOXIC cast of characters. it was absolutely fascinating. #those are the more embarrassing ones and the ones i WONT be dropping titles for. #others include furry shoujo isekai; aromantic shoujo; mousou telepathy (ive mentioned that before) #gag comedy where a dude gets ~magicked~ into a girls body but the joke is hes so lazy that he doesnt give a shit (mood) #stupid bl manga with a hot fat character who is very much the main object of desire #a lot of it is manga/manhwa bc its easier to get into something kinda dumb if its bolstered by having nice visuals rather than like a book #or whatever where you have to slog through it with your imagination alone. even when reading 'dumb' art i try to engage it properly bc i #very sincerely believe that every story has some form of meaning if youre just willing to engage with it #(<- plot of orv btw for an ACTUALLY good story) #like i said the sexi manga has surprisingly good worldbuilding. the toxic story the sexu manhwa was telling was earnestly fascinating. #idk! sorry i know you were just looking for the name but while i do consider it just kinda silly its broader impact has a deep effect on me #this is why i love orv❤️ please read orv. while i already had these fond feelings prior to reading orv it really cemented it for me. #oh and i read romance novels sometimes. i like stuff thats cute and silly! idk. youve been on my blog you can see my icon this isnt news.

[vote2]

i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.

#its like. im a trans man 100% i want nothing to do w being seen as a women i acknowledge that. i also acknowledge that I am putting #literally zero effort in my irl life to present as a guy at all. partially lack of resources and embarrassment etc stuff like that partiall #the autism i literally look in a mirror and see a guy #and i go to class go to work and until soemone explicitally refers to me as a woman i think of myself as a guy. so like its this weird #disconnect of what i actually do vs what i percieve as expieriencing in my daily life where i am objectively living #as a cis woman who just dresses and acts a bit masc. lol. #and like that doesnt bother me atm until i get to a setting where i am gendered frequently. then i feel nauseas etc but whatever ill deal #so i always hesitate whenever i talk abt women feminism men makeup beauty expectations etc (also i am mixed thai and white which #def plays into everyhting ofc ofc) as i dont know rly what is like. not fine idc if i say smthn uncouth just i dont want to at all #seem like im doing what these other trans guys do and latch onto my femininity and 'girlhood growing up' etc or like #its all dumb to me ofc im a feminist i consider anything i speak abt feminism free the nipple being against gender essiantialism etc etc #as in feminism (not that women arent/cant be femnists just in terms of im not trying to sound like a woman) and #ofc growing up as and my current life experiences have obvi had a large impact on myself how i veiw the world my political beliefs and all. #but like. im always scared it sounds like im idr the phrase someone else used but a i dont want to seem like im latching onto girlhood as #a failsafe or whatever. its just mm ykwim its a weird feeling. cause like im a 21 year old man and read my posts as such el oh el. #idk its all weird and idk if its a specific to me thing or whattttt it just like. i feel silly sometimes and i dont want my points to be #misconstrued :) anyways me posting this after rewatching and posting abt pearl has nothign to do genuinly lmfao just timing its been #on my mind after that dumbass trans guy posting abt the lonelyness he feels abt abandoning womanhood #after watching barbie. lol and then i saw someone in the comments of some ig quote it w like 30 replies all positive like get a lifeee #i understand it can feel isolating being trans and everyones relationship back to womanhood is diff and complecated but by god. shut up #anywayyyyyssss mmm okay im done whateverr #maybe all a fear in my head and literally none of this has every crossed anyones mind however it bothers me :(

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted #and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i #think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god. #and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind #and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind #splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt #and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d #some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard #as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not #and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and #more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this #and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make #things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill #laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop #with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out #itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄 #unrelated

[corknaut]

god i just played the online payday text adventure thing and. the way duke calls ppl lad/chum/kid/miss/ma'am is so. its sooooo. even in game during one of his henrys rock heist intro lines he calls chains 'kid' and one of his safehouse lines is 'hail, chum. ive been trying to figure this out for ages. think you could take a crack at it?' like the way he liberally uses terms of endearment for everyone 😭😭😭😭 hes just someones eccentric amicable grandpa fr

#yes i have some of the heist intro dialogue in my onenotes dont even fucking worry about it babygirl #and yes i have most of dukes voicelines memorized GOD this is just me making a complete ass of myself on main #i LOVE the randomized heist intros theyre some of my fav bits of writing from a game thats mostly Go Here/Wait For Objective/Shoot Things #like if i ever get the dlc heists the first thing ill do is restart repeatedly for the intros. yesss more canon heister interactions #payday 2 #nonpayday mutuals sorry im so sorry im pouring dirt on my head and sand in my eyes and bowing so low my forehead scrapes the ground and #rare original cork post. donot look

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#midnight thoughts before going to bed (feel free to ignore) #but today i realized two major things about myself and my mental illness #1. i was reminded that when you have an anxiety disorder your body has a hard time telling the difference between anxiety and excitement #and suddenly my whole life made sense lol #the amount of times i didn't do something that i really wanted to do because it caused me MAJOR anxiety #and it was probably excitement actually but my body went into full fight or flight mode #and 2. i realized that my masking is actually causing me physical pain #like this is of course of i am actually autistic. i still feel like i can't say i am cause i have no right you know? #but objectively i'm like 98% sure i have autism #ANYWAYS masking is usually just forcing eye contact or not stiming in public (as much) #but today i realized that when i hear loud noises or too many at the same time my instinct is to cover my ears #but i don't because that's ''weird'' or will make people ask questions that i don't really know how to answer #so i don't cover my ears i just sit through it in actual pain and hope for the best #and the worst part of this is that when i say ''masking in public'' i mean in my own damn home #because of my mom and the fact that she doesn't believe i have issues #i think it's my fault tho i shouldn't have mentioned my self diagnosis while we were watcing the good doctor (and later attorney woo) #because those two are her only reference for what autism is/looks like and i'm not like that #i mean for the most part... the good doctor was the reason i realize i might be autistic #and woo's struggle with revolving doors hit a bit too close to my heart lol #but anyways... #i need to deal with my out of control anxiety #and i'm pretty sure i am autistic... #those are the conclusions of this post lol #angel talks #personal

[pristine-starlight]

First riven i’ve assembled from slivers and it’s trash but sib and i were fuckin howling when we saw the minus finisher damage

#just no finisher damage. none #i wouldnt sink in the credits/endo anyway but part of me wishes i was mr12 and had an amphis #just so that i could go in the simulacrum and do harmless finishers for laughs #space ninja fashion show #kata's chatter #with the amount of weapons in the game i doubt ill ever unveil a good riven #but in the meantime ive learned that plat isnt so hard to trade for #so ill just keep unveiling rivens as i sloooowly get them bc its fun #the lil thrill of chance is worth the 30 plat that i can get with a few fissures anyway #warframe #actually come look at this i love horrible rivens theyre a comedy all on their own #objectively funniest riven roll is minus multishot that makes your gun just not do anything

[katvazamo]

i feel like im beating a dead horse so dont have to reblog just wanna get this off my chest i just realized that the watcher streaming service was the same price as a netflix account here . netflix has such a variety of content ranging from different languages and genres . the watcher streaming service was like if netflix only kept their originals (strange things,oitnb) and removed everything else. that comparison really puts things into perspective

#i still dont understand how they came to that conclusion #charlies video was a good one on this matter inside info plus not sensational or anything #but i guess we will never find details about this which im fine with cause the backtrack was all we need tbh but still would leave the strea #ming platform redundant cause they !!!!! have !!!!!!! a !!!!!! patreon !!!!!!!!! #also by looks of it not ‘struggling artists’ at thag #im going to be honest this also titters into sabotage the way this was done #bcs although there are so many fans that support which (so am i i just need more time 😤) but this experience has soured many of our thoughts #like they were planning on doing this the change happened because we voiced complaints #i just cant understand in their pov why this wouldve made more sense especially comsidering the giant leap they took #again this is me harping on the same object but i cant get it out of my head #like they were super super marketable tho ! they were not getting bottom of the barrel ads and sponsors like other channels with betting ads #i just thats my thing …….. i understand totally that youtube is sorta dead and you need to expand out but i don’t understand this approach #at all #i do love the boys maybe in a few konths ill be able to get back into their content again this controversy isnt because they are bad people #just a peculiar business decision that lots of people are racking their brains on #thank you for coming to my ted talk #*

[wabblebees]

.

#met the hottest butch ive ever seen in my whole entire life tonight #nigh-on everyone in the room had fucking heart eyes SO BIG for her the WHOLE TIME. and then #when she said she ''really couldnt do a relationship right now'' #you could hear hearts break in that room fulla gayass bitches #ABSOLUTELY including mine in that count lmao. but also im delusional so even tho after tomorrow i know ill probably never see her again #i am sitting here in bed -- HOURS later -- SIGHING WISTFULLY like a moronnnnn #lmfao. goddamnit. #hopeless romantic central; emphasis on hopeless #she was so fucking funny oh my god. and the goddamn butchivalry was off the CHARTS #i couldnt decide whether to swoon or let my own butch tendencies make me start competing lmfaooo #she was a friend of a friend visiting from the next town over; and this mutual friend had been hyping up her arrival so much id started to #think it was bc she was trying to set us up or something. which legit started to make me kinda nervous before she got here #and now im going fucking insane because oh my GOD #OH MY GODDDDD. #literally just. losing my goddamn mind. i dont know this girl at ALL & ik i dont do casual eeeeeven a little bit & shes NOT looking for That #but... fuck. goddamn. gotDAMN she was so cool #i doubt she was looking at me much If At All lmao; we were all just chilling... im just. objectively Not Good at Being Chill #anyway im writing this here hours later so i dont text our mutual friend at 5am about how rad meeting her was like some kinda creep lmfao #bee speaks #my outfit was cute but i doubt she was lookin; esp since i came straight to the party after a performance so i was in... weird shape lmao #altho im VERY glad we got to meet Before shes supposed to come see the show tomorrow lmao. #like. now at the very least her first impression of me isnt me-as-kreon; asshole misogynistic tyrant dictator-in-chief that he is hdkdgk

[musical-chick-13]

Like, I DO think people get too wound up over fictional constructs--that, very pointedly, are not real and whose actions are made up and do not actually affect any real people--doing horrible things in-story, but I also think it's fair for someone to say, "This action sits poorly with me even in a fictional setting, in such an intense way that I cannot move past that or find sympathy for it," and "People are saying this bad behavior isn't actually bad, in a way that is meant to be taken seriously and at face-value, and that makes me severely uncomfortable."

Granted, this all gets muddled very easily because that's not what people mean most of the time, they just want to over-moralize fiction and say, "If you like this pRoBLeMaTiC thing for any reason, you are a menace to society" for Superiority Points. (They also like to invent problems that don't actually exist to "prove" that they have the moral high ground in not liking something remember when people tried to say catra/adora was incest because they grew up together because I sure do.) But I feel like there is a split between people who use "[character] apologism" in the sense of "I will be okay with this character doing whatever fucked-up thing they want in the story because I like them" vs "If you find this character compelling or want them to succeed, you would one-to-one condone their actions irl" vs "I have seen people genuinely say, with no joking or irony, that this character never actually caused any type of harm to the other characters within the story, and I don't like that."

#like. for example: (and I SHOULDN'T feel the need to lay my Personal Shit out like this but if there's one thing I've learned it's that #points are better translated if you give specific examples) ANYWAY. FOR EXAMPLE: #I cannot deal with rose from j.t.v. she had a mentally ill character who was an addict committed against her will to an institution #after that character attempted to tell people the truth about their romantic connection #like that was a shitty thing to do. and that hit a little too close to home for me to be able to look at rose in a positive light anymore #because it bothered ME personally. it was a ME thing. and I think that's fine? I think it's fine for me to go 'I can't be on board with #this character anymore because this thing she did brought back a bunch of real life shit in my brain' #what ISN'T okay would be for me to say 'anyone who likes this character or ships her with luisa is a HORRIBLE PERSON who should FEEL BAD' #and (granted I don't really look at General Fandom Opinions regarding this show because honestly after michael ''died'' you could not have #paid me to care) if I had seen someone say 'I genuinely don't believe that was a shitty thing for rose to do I think it was the objectively #correct response' I think I would be justified in getting a little angry about that #and I understand the impulse to just go 'people are so overly-critical about shit that doesn't matter so I'm just going to not bother #discussing any of this at all' TRUST ME. I GET IT. but I DO also think there is nuance to be had here. #and I think it's important to recognize when nuance exists #how tf am I supposed to tag this #fiction #??? #media criticism #????? #behold! a creation!

[sleepydreamybunny]

i need to make my bed and take a shower but i can't make myeslf do either of those things and i have to be awake in six hours which is unfortunate because once i get going on those tasks it will take me a full hour to do both but i can't go to sleep until they're done and now i'm just panicking about not doing either of those things instead of actually doing them.

there isn't a point here, i just need to ramble to the void i guess.

totally unrelated question, does anyone else feel anxiety in their throat?

#not sexy but here we are #sometimes i feel like my therapist is going to look at me and tell me that nothing is wrong with me #im just being over dramatic and i don't actually have any mental illness i'm just doing this for attention #and then nights like tonight happen #and i don't feel like any less of a fraud? but i can objectively recognize that like #something isn't quite adding up here #like i just need to make my bed and take a shower #these are perfectly reasonable tasks #i have done them many times before #i can accomplish them both #but knowing i have to do them both makes me want to cry? #what the fuck is wrong with me? #(spoiler alert it's the anxiety)