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#of course i went with orange and teal bc what else
its-hyperfixation · 2 years
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he’s a 10 but he’s actually insane
merwaine fest 2022; day 3
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f33itan · 3 years
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oop
Ok, hey demons, it's me, ya boy girl. Back at it with another dream rant. now this one is kinda uh, interesting. I would call it a hybrid nightmare dream shat thing, but I HAD FEITAN IN IT FOR EVERY BIT FISMDISJSISK (well mostly every bit) Anyways this is a train wreck but here we go..
First part of dream I remember...
So me and my cousins lily and dominick were in this dude's car on an adventure or something, like you know in games that one person who's your guardian or someth8ng like that? wWe were in the car with that dude. Anyways, then we dropped off lily and domo so i went to the front and me and the dude were chatting while he was on the freeway, then he started swearing a lot, to what i assumed time be the stupid drivers on the rest of the freeway, but then a light teal smoke bomb went off and we had to drive through it. Whilst we were doing this we ran over a pretty lady, and the car broke and I fell right on top of her. I could see her brain goop shit com8ng out of her head, all of the blood splattered on her and the street, and I started hyperventilating in weird patterns. The paramedics came and I got to drink a baby bottle of water. Once I calmed down, i was talking a bit to this lady taking photos of the crime scene, and this other dude who idk what the fuck he was doing. Then some people dressed in bee colors started dancing and the world turned orange, which was kinda weird but i joined in their dancing and it was fun. oh and did I forget to mention while the whole car thing was going on the road and everything was foggy already?
Second part of dream I remember...
Ok so we're back at it again with domo, and this time is a bit hard to explain. So yk when 80s themed movies start and they're in a teen's room? that's where we were. we were playing some video games and there was another older teenager in the other room, and there were these weird colored tape lock things on domo's door. the more you could break and get past the cooler you were or something like that. So somehow i pissed the teen off and he wanted to throw me out the window but in order to do that he needed to break the locks. he broke about 7 or 8 of them and he was pissed and breathing heavily while me and domonick were so excited that somebody got that far on the locks. He was weirded out and left. then this part of my dream shifted to my school and we were doing some sports and stuff.
Now here's where it gets interesting...
So me and Feitan were at this super mario type setting world, and i've been in this setting before in another dream, just not with fei. so we were playing whatever games princess peach had for us but THEN it was a punishment round bc we messed up on something. So the dream shifted to this dark room and I had a black katana in my hand. Sillouettes of the troupe members were coming at me and I had to cut off their heads, but for some it was really hard. Fei was standing behind me while I cut them all, but I missed some. Then the dream shifted again to a dark woodsie area, and me and fei were crouched down on the ground. He had an arm around my back holding me really close to him.
F- "We should get out of here --starts turning in the opposite direction holding me to his side- "
N- "No, I see a door over there."
While we were shimmy shamming to the door we passed this momo lookin ass thing but kept crawling. eventually we ended up on this medium sized ramp and started to shift down it but then there were these weird baby things. I'll draw what they look like at the bottom of this post but then feitan accidentally hit some big metal things and they fell, then the babies started screaming. We ran to the door as they were chasing us then got into the door but i was going to be sent somewhere else. He couldn't come with me soo-
F- "Please be safe and be careful"
N- "I'll try"
F- "IM SERIOUS BE CAREFUL *hug*"
N- "Okay, Ill see you in a bit, love you"
F- "Love you too"
THE DREAM SHIFTED AGGGAAAIIN and now I was in this carnival kind of setting. If you know the VR game rush of blood then yeah this will make more sense, but if not go look it up ODNHEOFMEJ but anyways.. so yk the second level after the pig one where you're in the red and yellow run down carnival tent? that's where i was but it was rectangle shaped and it was kind of an obstacle course. the carnival runner from rush of blood was the controller person thing for it and me and another dude had to run the obstacle course. THE BABIES WERE IN THE OBSTACLE COURSE >:( there was a lot of hurdles which we had to put one hand on and use that to jump us over as if you were jumping a gate from the cops. after the 3rd round i couldnt do it anymore bc i was getting tired and so once the 3rd run was done i think I took a wrong turn into this maze that had orange and blue uv lights with glowing sticky stars and LED lights. I would pass a baby or a blue glowing light from time to time which was scary, but then i got taken back to the super mario world. I ran to Feitan and hugged him and then the dream got foggy.
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And their skin was a discolored grayish yellow with dried blood and when they walked they stomped. that's what the babies looked like.
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jumpboy-rembrandt · 6 years
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hey do yall wanna hear an au idea i’ve had abt the seven birds as a superhero team? the plot is constantly changing, but here’s what i’ve got (warning it’s a lot and bullet points are used gratuitously):
an alien object falls to the earth, breaking apart as it falls. it scatters around a small city, and the pieces seem to hone in on the nearest living human once they near the ground.
(psst – this is the light of creation)
these seven (mostly) unrelated people slowly realize that they now have…unusual abilities
another alien entity follows, and its agents begin wreaking havoc around this city searching for the missing pieces of the light
(psst – this is the hunger)
individually, each person touched by the light ventures out to fight off these beings, especially since they themselves tend to be targeted.
these agents can get a vague sense of where the shards are, but not who exactly has them. thus, there is some degree of investigation done to find the individuals.
said agents can either be sentient or monster-like
the light-holders are all disguised as they fight – some for anonymity, some so that these agents have more trouble seeking them out, and some just because it seems like the right thing to do.
none of them knew each other before now, but they cross paths often enough that they realize they should probably group up.
most of them want to keep their identities secret, so they agree to do that while also making a few other decisions:
they should all have each others’ numbers. they won’t seek each other out, but it is important to keep in contact.
they should get better costumes (a plea from taako, who subsequently makes them)
they should have a theme
so they decide upon uniform colors and the title of “seven birds” because…idk, maybe they all like how poetic it sounds?
anyway, here’s a breakdown of each member:
magnus was struck by the light while sparring with carey behind their apartment complex. he was knocked over and carey kinda panicked?? but then he got up and said “did you do that?” and she responded “how would i hurl something at you from the sky, you’re fucking huge” and they moved past it
carey and magnus are roommates, so she’s the first one to notice when he starts accidentally breaking things and can knock her down more easily.
the weirdest part was when he was carving a little figurine and she jumped up behind him – to be fair, she thought he was drawing plans for something at the carpentry shop. they both saw the knife go directly towards his fingers and…bounce off. being magnus, he immediately tried to stab his hand and nothing happened. carey, being carey, poked the edge to see if it was dull and, ow, no, it wasn’t.
so, magnus has super strength and armor-like skin. a downside to this is that the changes weren’t entirely magic (think commitment), so he has to eat a lot more than usual and that’s. not insignificant.
the superhero name he chooses is eagle, which he called out immediately bc he wanted the best bird. his color theme is orange. his uniform doesn’t have sleeves, and it was a struggle for taako to even make him wear a shirt.
merle was hiking through the woods, and when he got hit he actually blacked out for a little bit. he woke up in a bed of flowers and, huh, that’s really convenient how it broke my fall
he works part time as an EMT and spends the rest working in a plant nursery. i. think you can guess how he notices what’s going on.
merle’s power is accelerating and manipulating organic growth, which means that he can both control plants and heal wounds. this does take a physical toll, as it is his energy being transferred. he also needs to eat a lot.
his superhero name is dove bc ~peace~ and stuff. his color theme is, naturally, green.
taako and lup were. uh. not getting in trouble. they were just having a misunderstanding. fortunately, said misunderstanding was not as fast as they were bc the misunderstanding was missing their shoes. they stumbled and fell as the light split at the last second and hit them both, but they quickly jumped back to their feet, turned a corner, and were home free.
both of them are studying masters level chemistry, so their discoveries are in public and require a bit of covering up. taako was trying to work out the chemical structure of a fairly simple crystal when it moved. he jumped, then tried it again, and found out that he could even separate out certain parts without needing a reactant.
lup gets bored waiting for a solution to boil and suddenly it explodes
taako’s power is manipulating chemical structures and lup’s is causing combustion or explosions. both require a knowledge of chemistry; taako has to understand the structure of what he’s moving or separating, and lup needs to know about boiling/ignition points and pressure changes etc. again; the energy comes from them. you get the point by now, i think.
taako is starling and purple, and lup is phoenix and red.
they both have pockets containing little beads of easy-to-change materials if they can’t find anything else to use
barry is a phd student, and was in the basement bio lab of the local university when the light phased through the ceiling and hit him. he stumbled backwards and fortunately didn’t hurt himself, bc he basically lives in there and no one would check on him for a while.
the next time he’s forced into a university function, he’s shrinking against a wall wishing he wasn’t there, and then he…isn’t. he falls over into the next room bc he just went through the wall.
i’ll be honest – barry basically has danny phantom powers. the tricky bit is that if he’s exhausted, instead of losing his powers, he can’t keep a physical form very well. finally, a reason for this man to get some sleep already.
his codename is nightingale and his color is blue. thank goodness he can make his clothes and glasses ghost with him, or else he’d be recognizable and useless.
davenport was relaxing with a short flight just outside of town. he notices some strange lights, then realizes one is coming towards him, then barely manages to keep the plane from crashing when it hits him in the head. he quickly lands and checks the plane for damage, but there’s no trace of it.
his mind is wandering during a pretty boring meeting one day when everyone suddenly stops. davenport tunes in and notices that, um, there’s a small boat appearing to float across the table. this completely snaps him out of his thoughts, and it disappears. it’s a good thing the old people on the board like to brush over unexplainable things, bc after a few moments, the meeting picks back up.
he works at a nerd museum. he mostly enjoys it, but also wants to save up enough to move to the coast.
his power is creating illusions and, depending on his energy, materializing them. the illusions barely cost anything, but the materialization is really draining.
his hero name is canary and his color theme is gold.
i wanted it to be albatross at first, but that sounded a little…eh? i liked canary better, esp since it’s yellow
+ instead of having half the symbolism of a curse, it symbolizes freedom!! i think that’s an important dav trait.
finally, lucretia was riding home on her bike and, unlike dav, did crash. strangely, she and her bike were totally unharmed.
lucretia works part-time as a secretary to save up for college, while also working at a bookstore bc she is a Nerd. she got lost in the Deep Shelves and, when a pile of books fell and set off a domino effect, she stretched out her hands to stop them – and they actually did stop.
lucretia can create force fields of any shape, and move them around. that may seem simple, but she can ride them like a hover board, trap people, and, if she’s strong enough, slice things.
her superhero name is bluejay and her color is teal.
other characters include:
julia, magnus’s coworker/boss’s daughter, and they’ve been in love since forever. when the light stuff started though, magnus figured he should slow down.
…yeah, she figures it out pretty soon. magnus is bad at keeping secrets.
carey, magnus’s roommate and constant alibi/excuse-maker/back-up
killian, who works security at the business lucretia secretaries at, and keeps bringing her out to social stuff bc the girl needs it. they also talk abt girls a lot bc they’re both Gay™ – lucretia especially enjoys teasing killian about carey with the “really great calves” from the gym.
killian accidentally said weird shit when first gushing about her and, of course, lucretia will never forget it
noelle was saved by the team from whatever the hell lucas ends up doing in this au. carey offers to share her room, esp since magnus is uh. working a little more irregularly these days and they could use the split rent.
noelle and carey also talk about girls, including killian who could “probably throw me across a room” from the gym.
angus was looking into all this nonsense and figured it was easiest to track down twins who seem to know a lot about chemistry. it wasn’t too hard. taako and lup were appalled that his parents Just Let Him Do That and so there’s a 50/50 chance that angus is in their spare room at any given time.
listen they got a two-bedroom apartment, but apparently they’re still too clingy to sleep alone. nerds.
ren is taako’s coworker and best friend. she knows Something is up, but isn’t entirely sure What. she also knows better than to try and find out. taako will tell her when he tells her.
honestly i low low lowkey dig the idea of noelle/ren but you didn’t hear that from me. if it happens to show up though. oh well.
avi makes frequent deliveries for the hammer and tongs, and is pretty tight with magnus. he’s even tighter with magnus’s dogs, which stay at the h&t bc his apartment is run by ruthless monsters.
johann is the town’s dramatic and overtalented musician, who is almost always in the background. i’m not sure what his deal is, but he sure is good at music.
hurley is a cop who keeps trying to figure out what is going on, but isn’t having much luck
artemis sterling is the very frustrated mayor
certain people are given powers by the hunger, a la hawk moth. these include gundren, magic brian, jenkins, sloane, the hammerheads, cpt cpt bane, lucas, etc.
the major manifestation of the hunger is john, but only merle manages to see him.
unlike miraculous, the hunger is dangerous to its hosts if they become disagreeable. the birds can save the people possessed, but it’s not easy.
there are Mysterious Third Parties that can grant additional powers
one is known as the raven queen. she grants kravitz the power to possess non-organic materials, as well as a scythe that can temporarily dislocate souls and do mild portal shit.
kravitz was a coroner trying to get a gig in the orchestra, but then he almost died and the raven queen resurrected him and he’s got a really strong sense of duty so he’s doing this now, he guesses. at least he still gets to have a normal life when he isn’t busy.
i like to think that after sloane rejects the hunger, the raven queen scoops her up and also grants the ability to possess non-organic objects. she was a good mechanic before, and is super good now. she gets hurley to give up on the whole investigation thing and join her and they live happily ever after, and also kick the occasional ass.
at first, RQ’s orders are to retrieve the light so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, but taako persuades kravitz that the birds are able to use it to defeat the hunger once and for all.
after that, the mission is just to keep as many people out of danger as possible.
istus and pan can also grant powers, but i’m not sure how they’d fit in yet
more random facts:
taako, lup, and barry are actually at the same university even though they never see each other. the mascot is a mongoose.
at some point the bio and chem departments are doing a joint conference thing. taako and lup are wandering around while spamming the birds’ group chat with really awful memes with magnus. meanwhile, barry is trying his best to ignore his constantly-vibrating phone as he talks to a professor about something actually important.
do they find each other in this truly ridiculous way? You Decide.
lucas is in the same department as barry, and even though he’s kind of a genius, he is also. how you say. a dick.
ren and taako work as chefs at the davy lamp. ren is almost definitely going to own it one day, and taako is proud of her.
lucretia and magnus meet via carey and killian, and quickly become close friends. because magnus is incapable of keeping a secret from anyone he knows, she finds out that he’s eagle and so they now know each other’s secret identities.
anyway that’s all i’ve got for now, thanks for coming to my ted talk
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sye216-fr · 6 years
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Lair review for Klazomaniac #286157
@rarewubbox​  I’m really sorry that it took me so long to get to this review!! my general writing muse decided to take a vacation the past few days and I had to hunt it down and wrangle it before i could get myself to write anything. i hope you like the review even if it took like a week for me to get to.
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aleele here was the first dragon i really noticed, but that’s mostly because the blues of the ghost flame apparel drove my eyes to her. i really liked the contrast between the low-saturation dark hues of her colors against the blues of the apparel. it really makes her visually POP. i also like how the candles are actually incorporated into the lore in the bio? a dragon with a weird entourage of ghostly floating candles is mysterious indeed. contender for cool mom of the year. also, if she’s your random progen, congrats on getting an XYY!! talk about good luck.
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another darkly colored fae yes, but the faes in ur lair are Good. this guy got my attention with all that purple. he looked like quite an interesting foresty fellow from the thumbnail, and then i got in there and read the little bit of lore in his bio and all of a sudden all the apparel made him Sinister. i love a good maniacal power hungry nature-fueled villain character. the small amount of lore in the bio just made me want to know more, like hear about some of his particular escapades. does he bother the rest of the clan or does he work in secret? inquiring minds would like to know 👀
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oh MAN i love the foreboding quote in this boy’s bio because it immediately gives him and his outfit the most EERIE atmosphere. the plague primal eyes especially add to that. he didn’t look all that plaguey from the thumbnail so when i read that quote i was thrown for a loop and then i scrolled up and saw his eyes and was like “oh. im Terrified.” i like how the nightsky silk scarf and the cornflower bee give this sort of delicate look, then you see the armor pieces and the furious claws and you gradually realize this is not a dragon you wanna be messing with. i sure as hell ain’t gonna be caught staring someone down whos got eyes like THAT. he comes into the room and im already gone
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in my previous lair reviews ive gone on a bit about that Fire Aesthetic which i like so much. this girl has DEFINITELY got a good hold on that. the accent matches SO well with the black iron plates it’s unbelievable. the fire and the lava are almost exactly the same color and it looks fucking fantastic. plus the steampunk pieces give that clunky heavy metal feeling that’s so good in the fire aesthetic. plus the mauve spines add a nice little dash of pinky-purple to match with the shadow eyes, like a tiny dash of sprinkles on top of the lava sundae. i wanna shake her hand but the superheated lava coming from the black iron plates would burn my hands and i would be okay with it.
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i think observer here might be my fave dragon in ur lair. the fest skin is, of course, gorgeous on him (i love the glowing mushrooms of the shadow aesthetic). but not only does it look nice, it makes sense to his title as scavenger?? like mushrooms are agents of decay and renewal that make use of what’s left behind, and scavengers look for things left behind to find and use again. the skin on top of the black birdskull pieces really give that effect. also can i just say the soil primary works wonderfully with that skin?? it really does look like the mushrooms on the skin are growing out of dirt. perfect combination of skin and colors.
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i may not have a lot of snappers in my lair but i can appreciate a good High Quality Bean when i see one. i really love how well the peacock goes with the cyan-y accent beads in the celebration sage set, the white looks really good next to the light parts of the outfit too. plus orange+brown next to peacock just looks good period? it’s a nice combo of colors for this dragon. i like how her title is celebrationist. i want her to organize a party for me bc something else me it would be one hell of a party.
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listen i had no idea that this specific part of the blue range could work SO well with the sweetheart lace set but i feel like i’ve seen the light..tiger+stripes may not be all that popular lately but i really like how it looks on razor, especially with stonewash+teal. these two blues play nice together, and then the sweetheart lace pieces kind of make me think of decorations on a cake? like the little roses look like icing roses. and then his eyes being that rich earth common brown just pop right out. a lot of people laud matching eyes on a dragon but tbfh sometimes non-matching eyes can add a real nice dimension in the color palette, especially on spirals since their eyes are so big. i wanna be friends w him.
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okay first: i like the idea of having a series of dragons named after each holiday?? it’s a cool idea for representing each flight as reps in your lair. next: a lot of people say crackle is a bad gene but i am under the impression that crackle can look DAMN AMAZING if you get the right gene/color combo. and here? the eldritch crackle on top of double fire looks just like lava. if there were a dragon that ever looked like a pure concentration of fire, it would be with this specific combo of genes and colors. it works SO damn well that the effect is perfected even with a small amount of apparel. i looked at this dragon and immediately went “she is Lava.” i love her. burn me up.
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(i know brightshine technically comes after flameforger but flameforger caught my attention first cough) light is another aesthetic i’m fond of and this is DEFINITELY a good-ass light dragon. i had no fucking idea murk irishim could match well with colors like ivory and gold but holy FUCKING moley that’s a nice combination. the highlights on the murk shimmer next to the brightness of the ivory crystal just makes the murk look like a really dark metal? like really tarnished bronze. and the intense gold of the sundrapes do a great job of calling to attention the veins of REALLY intense golden yellow that run through the ivory crystal. she’s so shiny. i wanna polish her but she probably doesnt need it..
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a-hurricane-came · 7 years
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And If It Ever Happened (No One Has To Know) ~ Thomas Jefferson x Reader
Because despite being stuck on a bus for a three hour long car ride to a youth conference with a bunch of other awesome hyperactive candy addicted teens, I’m bored and still lacking a life. Also, for SJ’s Submission Sunday. Because by the heck not?
Or: Thomas learns about colors, his jacket is explained, and (Y/N) makes plans.
Warnings: Brain aneurism, child coping mechanisms, arguing, car accidents, bad French and Irish (Google Translate, people, bc I know nothing) character death, mentions of suicide, depression, hospitalization, a couple people get punched, mentions of homosexual relationships (in case that makes you uncomfortable - sorry never gonna change it those two are too precious in my mind) also it’s my first imagine so it probably sucks (be warned!) but it will sort of get better (ish) towards the middle of the story (beginning is on the bad side of OK and I’m not sure about the ending.), probably insanely OOCish and Mary Sue/Gary Lue ish characters that tend to go with shit writing like mine, plus this is the first time I’ve written an imagine, and my writing was already sucky enough as it was, so take that how you will.
So have fun with that
Modern AU, feminine pronouns
Masterlist
At four years old, Thomas Jefferson knew enough to know how to understand others, and what he understood was that all the boys on the block thought that pink or purple or any color reminiscent of them were for girls. (Except for red, because red is cool, like fire and blood and a knight’s horsehair plumes; and blue, because blue is cool, too, like ice and deep sea diving and the big, big sky that all those jets flew through that they were going to fly someday.)
He knew all the colors in the rainbow: red and orange and yellow and green and blue and purple, and black because that’s always what was between the other colors, and white because that was what was on either end of it in the shape of big, fluffy clouds.
Not pink.
Pink didn’t count, he thought.
At age six, his mother takes him to the local hardware store to look at paint samples, and he looks up at the giant wall with a gaping jaw as he takes in the impossible number of colors-within-colors. (Even pink.)
He sees some sort of grey splotch near the top of a yellow card, though, and doesn’t like it. He decides it doesn’t belong there.
“Mama, why is there another color on this one?”
She looks at him, brow risen in slight confusion, before she realized what his little finger is pointing to and chuckles.
She bends down real, real low, so they’re at the same eye level.
She’s tall, he thinks, not for the first time. I bet she could fight giants.
“Thomas,” she tells him, a small smile on her face and an amused twinkle in her eye. “This isn’t supposed to be another color. This is the name of the color. Like green is called green, and orange is called orange, but these ones are…,” she paused for a moment, mulling over the words as she tried to find a way to explain it to his young mind. “Different,” she finally settled. “They’re longer, and weirder.”
“Oh.”
“Like this one,” she took down a shade of light, light orange and yellow, that reminds him of when those very colors clash on the - the nex - neckt - nectarine. “They call it Brooklyn Skyrise.”
He frowned. That didn’t sound like a color.
If he looked at it, it was actually really nice.
“What’s Brooklyn?”
“It’s a city in New York, Thommy.”
He stared at it a little while longer before nodding his head firmly. “I’m going to live in New York,” he decided confidently.
His mother’s eyebrows rose.
“I’m sure you will, Thomas.”
(And if he didn’t have any idea where New York was, then he didn’t say anything.)
She then pulled down another one, a murky auburn, leaning more toward red, and he is reminded of leaves right before fall.
“Here’s another one. This one’s called Dragon’s Blood.”
His grin lit up his face. “Cool!”
He is seven when he finally meets her.
She is bold and she is brilliant and despite the fact that she is a girl, she seems to possibly be one of the only people in that class that he might actually like.
Besides James, of course.
He decides to save himself the humiliation and stick with becoming friends with James.
It’s okay, though.
He’s not the only one who’s noticed you.
It’s when you hit another boy that he finally gets the courage to talk to you, opposed to all the other boys who look upon you with both awe and fear, and scattered every time you came near.
"Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” was the only answer he got back.
“What’s your name?”
“(Y/N). What about you?”
“I’m Thomas.”
“Cool.”
It was quiet for a little while.
“I saw that you punched that boy,” he informed her.
“Everyone saw it, dummy,” she shot back. “It was during recess.”
His face grew hot and he practically recoiled, not knowing at first what to say to that.
“Well-well I just - I just thought I should tell you that I thought it was really cool,” he finally decided on.
She cocked her head.
“Huh.”
“What?”
“All the other guys were too big of wimps to talk to me after I hit Charlie.”
“Charlie had it coming, everyone knows that!”
She shrugged, and turned her head, her hair whipping out behind her.
He frowned when he saw what was in said hair.
“Why do you have that?” He asked, as if offended by the object in question. A frown tugged on his features.
She scowled at him.
“Why? What’s wrong with wearing a bow?”
“It’s not the bow that’s the problem, it’s the color,” he explained, a flurry of light annoyance briefly sweeping across his features.
If looks could kill, Thomas would’ve been six feet under by the time he finished his sentence.
“What about it?” She asked.
“It’s - well, it’s pink,” he stressed, trying to get her to understand the apparent horrors of such a color.
“No, it’s not,” she hissed back.
“Well, then what is it?” He shot in response, arms crossed smugly, and obviously not expecting her to hold an answer.
“It’s fuchsia,” she sniffed. “Obviously.”
Right. Because he was supposed to know the difference.
“I couldn’t find my other ones. I think my sister took them. She’s such a meanie.”
“Other ones? You have other ones? Please tell me they’re not all pink!”
“Fuchsia,” she insisted. “And no, they’re not. I’ve got pink, and flamingo, and fuchsia, and purple, and turquoise, and teal, and orange, and auburn, and brown, and black, and white, and yellow, and grey, and indigo-”
She ignored his skeptical, “Isn’t that just another word for purple?” And continued to list how many colors she had in her extensive bow collection.
“And periwinkle-” “What’s that?” “And crimson, and cherry-” “I thought those were the same things…,” “And I’ve got tangerine, too,” here she sounded very smug, as if immensely proud of herself for knowing such a word. “But my favorite is the magenta.”
His face scrunched up.
“Magenta?”
“Yeah.”
“What does that one look like?”
Her face lit up, and before Thomas could realize he made a mistake and walk away, she had already curled her fingers into his shirt sleeve, making sure he couldn’t leave as she went on and on about her favorite bow and all her other bows and things he didn’t need to know about.
Somewhere in there, he vaguely heard the words, “It was from my Papa,” but they were soon swallowed by the load of complete gibberish that followed, as he gaped at her, trying to make sense of what she was saying.
She was always wearing a different bow, he realized a few days after his talk with her - it was something he had never realized until then.
But she still wore the one that was that horrifyingly electric shade of - magenta, he was pretty sure she called it - every other day.
(And if he was slowly starting to get used to it, then he didn’t say anything.)
Three weeks after their small talk, and they shared a few hellos, but not quite enough to constitute as friends.
So you could imagine his surprise when after class was let out that day, and everyone started to walk outside to walk home, or for their parents to pick them up, or to ride their bikes or go into their bus lines, that she made a beeline with him, an ecstatic grin on her face.
“(Y/N)?” He asked, confused, when he realized that she had stopped right in front of him, and had not, in fact, been going towards someone behind or around him.
“I got a new bow!” She whispered conspiratorially to him. She did, in fact, have a new bow - and it was white with rainbow polka dots.
(And if maybe pink counted now, then he didn’t say anything.)
It was probably then that he realized that he did, in fact, contrary to his original belief, have a new friend - and this one, unlike some of the others, would not be quite as easy to shake.
In a month, she tells him that she’s getting a new little brother.
He tells her that little brothers aren’t so great - his is super annoying.
In two months, he tells her that his family is going to the beach that weekend, and that they’re going to swim.
“You’re going to go swimming?” She asks, her eyes wide and eyebrows raised.
“Of course,” he replies flippantly. “I’ll be teaching Linny, because he doesn’t know how, yet,” his chest puffs out with pride as he mentions this, “but everyone else does.”
“Right,” she answers, nodding vehemently, like she believes him. (And if she goes home that night and begs her parents to sign her up for swimming lessons, or even insists that she needs them now now now because everyone else knows how to and she doesn’t, then they didn’t tell anyone.)
It is by the fifth month, when they go to the park to play together and she insists on her Papa making cookies (“They’re the best thing anyone’s ever eaten! You’ve gotta try ‘em, Thommy!”) and he actually enjoys himself that he realizes that even if it only actually took a few minutes of their correspondence for him to become friends with her, it only took a few days for her to become friends with him.
She does that, he realizes - that sneaking up on people.
She doesn’t tell you that she’s going to get you to be friends with her, she asks you what your favorite color is or why you’re talking to her, and the next thing know, bam. You’re friends with her.
No, she never told anyone - it just happened.
Like a shadow - never there until the sun shifted.
He was okay with that, he realized, by the time six months had passed.
And so it went.
When they were eight, he taught her cursive, and she taught him drawing.
Then he taught her how to play the piano, and she retaliated with what she knew of the recorder.
Some of the others teased them about it - always about how one or the other of them had cooties, or they were weird for being friends because things just didn’t happen like that, but they stopped after a while then they realized it was useless - when they were continuously shrugged off.
They were nine when her Papa had a brain aneurism and died.
They didn’t know what it was, at the time, of course, just that he was gone because of it.
What happened after that was all kind of a blur.
He saw the obituary in the paper his father was reading, but he didn’t understand what it was at the time.
When they got to school, the Guidance Counselor dropped by all the different classes and gently explained to them why (Y/N) wasn’t in school that day, why she wouldn’t be for the next few days, and to act like nothing had happened.
“I’m sorry about your Papa,” he told her when she came back to school, completely disregarding all the instructions that had been given to him.
She looked at him.
Blinked.
Nodded.
Turned away.
(And if he thought that her magenta bow was a little too crumpled or tied a little too tight that day, then he didn’t say anything.)
She is quieter, after that.
First she never stops wearing the bow he gave her, and the Crocs he had been so fond of, even if they were seven sizes too big for her, and the big Hawaiian shirts he would always wear on bowling night.
None of the other kids teased her.
Nobody ever told them - they had told them that her father had died, yes, but not what was happening to her - but they seemed to realize what was going on anyways, and quietly left her alone to work it out for herself. (And Thomas, of course. Thomas was there for her.)
Then comes the time when she stops.
She doesn’t wear his colorful, comfy clogs or go to school swaddled in his familiar floral shirt, and she wore any bow but her magenta one.
It just completely halted, all at once, with no warning.
She came to school everyday with her head held high and a blazing fire in her eyes, full of determination, and everyone seemed a little startled - if not scared - at the abrupt transformation.
When she started going out of her way to loudly engage her other classmates in conversation, they seemed to take the message that she was, once again, okay to approach.
(And if everyday at lunch, her eyes stared a little forlornly at the container she’d bring with her that was now full of crackers instead of those famous cookies, then no one said anything.)
Her return to everyday life was fast and furious and adventurous and emblazoning.
She rose her hand everyday in class, strived to be the best, strived to be better, the strongest, the smartest, the fastest.
Thomas was right there with her the whole time. They took on the challenge together.
(And if he was a little sad with the change, then he didn’t say anything.)
It took three months for her to finish planning, and when she finally showed Thomas, he was the first one, and he added his ideas, and she thanked him, and they cried, and then they stopped their self pity and discussed their plans more.
When they came home from that summer break, everyone seemed to notice the change, and it went without saying what it was.
Thomas and (Y/N) had big, big plans, and they weren’t about to let anyone get in their way.
They’re ambitious, and they’re smart, and they’re able to start without immediately alerting their parents or teachers.
They pull up a chart online, and within half an hour have memorized the alphabet in Morse Code.
Within two, they were fluent.
They used a brand new app that had come out, and began to learn new languages - these ones were a lot harder than Morse Code, but their drive and their intelligence didn’t change, and with their youth and easily molded minds, they picked it up quicker than most.
They took classes where they could, and that’s when others started to notice - when they began to ask for references and advice for certain things, or cash for no apparent reason.
They began to switch languages when they spoke in school as they learned, to keep in practice.
They learned something themselves and then they taught the other.
They started off slow, hesitant even with their determination, but soon enough began to pick up the pace, especially as their quickly acquired skills helped them with others.
They were ten years old.
He taught her French as she taught him Spanish.
They were eleven years old.
The others didn’t tease them at all anymore - they were starting to branch out on their own friendships as well, and none of them really cared about cooties anymore.
She taught him Norwegian and he taught her German.
He taught her Mandarin and she taught him Russian.
And so it went.
Twelve years old.
Greek. Gaelic. Icelandic. Polish.
His little brother Mowlie and his little sister Marty become best friends with her little brother Merlin, and he is practically adopted into their family just as she was, and they into her family just as he was, and they bond over annoying older siblings and favorite toys and embarrassing names that start with the same letter.
They begin to earn the name ‘The Triple M.’ For obvious reasons, as the trio soon became inseparable.
(Y/N) and Thomas aren’t sure how good of an idea it was to introduce him, but it was unavoidable - the little monsters would’ve found a way to meet each other anyways, somehow, someday soon.
Thirteen years old, and while they continue with languages in a much more rapid pace, they start with other things, too.
Arabic. Scandinavian. Czech. Italian. Japanese. Korean. Swahili. Latin. Karate. Ju-Jitsu.
(She begins to wear her magenta bow again, every once in a while. He doesn’t say anything.)
They are fourteen, and in school, they begin to learn Spanish.
Their teacher is surprised by how easily they ace the class, but can’t move them up, as that would be a high school level, which is outside of his jurisdiction, but he at least sent forwards the notice.
He asks the class as a whole, one day, a couple months in, if they know any other languages.
John Adams knows enough to say good morning, bless you and ask for directions in German.
Roger Sherman can introduce himself in Japanese.
Betsy Ross can hold a basic conversation in French and say a few greetings in Italian.
Winston Churchill can say hello in Dutch.
That is it.
The only two left are Thomas and (Y/N), and the rest of the class is completely and utterly, outright stunned when they tell them in that same fluent Spanish they’ve been using all semester that they know seventeen other languages (or, eighteen, if you count Morse Code) then Spanish and English, and when the teacher asks them to demonstrate a little bit like they did with all the other kids, they take up the rest of the class period smoothly holding a discussion over what their reactions would be when they learned what they had planned next, as they switched between tongues.
Fifteen.
Dutch. Portuguese. Irish. Danish. Swedish. Turkish. Esperanto. Ukrainian. Welsh. Hebrew. Vietnamese. Hungarian. Archery. Fencing.
The other students are in awe of them despite the fact that they have absolutely no idea what they’re doing.
(And if Thomas’ stomach explodes into butterflies every time he sees her now, then he doesn’t say anything.)
Sixteen.
Braille. Sign language. Many other tongues from the far, far corners of the world, along with hand to hand combat, and fighting with real knives and swords. They know how to defend themselves now. Good - nothing should ever be able to happen to them now.
(And if (Y/N) begins to wonder just how far their plans will carry them, and if it will ever lead to more for them than friends, then she doesn’t tell anyone.)
Seventeen.
They are the top of their class.
Charles Lee seems to have forgotten that she punched him in the face in the first grade, and as a result, begins constantly trying to woo (Y/N).
With all her anxious plans and buzzing energy, he goes on ignored.
After all, their plans are about to be carried out, and they still, throughout all these years, haven’t even fully explained this far fetched (though not so much anymore), life changing already plan of theirs, and they both have about a dozen AP classes and exams still, with their jobs and drama club, when added with student council, band, jazz band, choir, show choir, the yearbook committee, Forensics and both the spelling and geography bees, mock trial, lacrosse, soccer, the GSA Club, track and cross country, in addition to everyone badgering them about college applications despite them still being their junior year, and them not being able to tell them why they keep turning everything down, because that would be to reveal the full plan and they both agreed that they wouldn’t do that until the week they carried it out.
Not to mention, of course, the fact that James, who was now a close friend of both of theirs, was constantly getting sick, so they needed to take care of him, on top of helping out their parents by doing chores and giving their younger siblings a lift to and fro different places, and, obviously, their…far more intense and personalized extracurriculars.
Honestly, it was a miracle they were still standing, and absolutely nobody had any clue how they did it.
But they were still seventeen.
That meant that their time was running out.
She furiously teaches him how to whittle, he doesn’t stop until she knows how to build a fire.
They take on how to track different people and animals together, as well as go through the art of deception and knowing when others are lying.
They practice different accents until they’re perfected, work on acrobatics and languages those around them can’t even pronounce the name of.
They take on extra shifts and work days, eagerly scraping up any money they could to add to the fund they’d been gathering for their plans throughout the years. (Because until they were proven wrong, they were going to act on the belief that they could support their own plans.)
Even once they finished this, they could still go to college, they decided.
After all, not that they were trying to be arrogant or anything, but what college wouldn’t want them?
He exchanges hacking for thievery with her, and they both learn to think on their feet faster than they ever have before.
Deduction. Observation. Analyzation. Hard work. Effort. Blood. Sweat. Tears. Lost sleep.
It was all going to be worth it, they knew, because it was all working towards their plan.
They are seventeen, and no one else is anywhere closer to their plans then they want them to be.
For a while, James is in the dark, though he is still the closest to knowing the whole truth.
He, for his part, takes their silence graciously, despite knowing that something huge was being kept from them.
When he wasn’t sick, he’d try to make sure they at least got full meals and a decent amount of sleep.
When they drifted off during study sessions or at their desks or in the library, he’d let them be, copy down any sleep delirious, slurred writing from a language he didn’t recognize on a separate piece of paper for them in case it was an idea or work they needed, and then erased it from their homework, knowing from experience after the complaining the teachers had given to all their classes in the first month they had (Y/N) and Thomas that they didn’t appreciate it all that much.
(And if he covered them with a blanket or put their cocoa, coffee and tea back in the microwave to stay warm, too, then no one said anything.)
That summer they learn first aid.
They know, looking back on some of the things they learned that year, that the lines are starting to blur between what is strictly necessary and originally part of the plan, and what they’ve simply added just because it might be a fun or useful skill to learn or have. Maybe the lines started to blur a while ago. They aren’t sure.
They think that they might be alright with that.
(And if Thomas also thinks he’s in love with her and that stupid cute little magenta bow she wears, he doesn’t say anything. And if James realized it before him, then he didn’t say anything, either.)
Eighteen.
They were eighteen.
They were finally going to graduate.
They could’ve skipped a few years and graduated earlier, too, of course, but they preferred not having to associate themselves around faces they hadn’t grown up with, and now they were no closer to regretting their decisions.
One of their teachers asks them to go around class, on the first day, and share what they’re going to do after school - take a leap year, go straight to work, if they knew what college they were going to, something else, maybe.
The two simply shared a crooked grin, that while their fellow students had been expecting, their teacher had not.
(And if it still managed to make them all uneasy, then no one said anything.)
“Yeah,” (Y/N) had said, a strange, excited lilt in her voice.
“We’ve got plans,” Thomas finished for her.
The teacher raises their eyebrows at the ‘we’ in there - because that was definitely a ‘we’ that had been heard there - and presses them for more answers.
They share a serious look, and it unnerves them all when an entire conversation seems to pass between them in mere seconds simply through eye contact - even James, who has seen them do it many times.
A nod.
They’re going to carry it out soon anyhow.
What was the harm in letting them know now?
Everyone seems to lean in, sensing that after years and years of wondering, they were finally about to have their mystery solved.
They do not realize that they’re not going to be getting the whole story just yet.
“We’re going to travel,” Thomas says confidently.
“Travel? Wherever to?”
“Oh, here and there,” answers (Y/N) vaguely with a wave of her hand.
They do not tell them the full extent of it - that they’ve been planning this since they were nine, that they were literally going all over the world, for most probably years at a time, and they’d find ways to cover for the trip, and they’d help anyone they came across and maybe once they came back they’d sign up for college or the military together - maybe whichever one they didn’t pick as soon as they were done with the first.
(And if they don’t tell them that it’s to make her Papa proud and fill in his bucket list that was never completed along with each of their own, either, then neither of them say anything.)
They were not happy living unfulfilled lives.
(And if she is suddenly hyper aware of that electric buzz that passed through them every time they touched, then she didn’t say anything. And if she realized she was in love with him, too, she didn’t say anything.)
They cram in the last of their lessons - both in school and in private. (Engineering, this time. Engineering and building, architecture, working on more memorization techniques, survival skills, dances, different instruments, the line blurs further and they try to tie it all back down to study of different cultures - but as much as they could. They never knew what they might need out there.)
They graduate, her, Valedictorian, him, class president, both with high honors and already several college credits and hours of community work logged, both oblivious to the awe and high respect their peers held them in, and both finally about to see that goal come true.
(And if she still has that magenta bow in her hair that day, then no one says anything.)
They finally tell James, and their parents - the truth, the plan, the whole entire complete plan and truth, without any fanfare or missing steps. (Sort of. They do not tell them about Papa’s bucket list, or the fighting or the lying or the survival skills, and reassure them that they won’t need any of these.)
Their parents were shocked - in a way, but proud - because this was an amazing thing for them to be doing, and while they were surprised by it and maybe a little hurt that they weren’t told earlier, especially with how long it had taken to plan, but they always had known that their children were exceptionally ambitious and intelligent, and once they had it all laid out in front of them, they knew that this was exactly like them, and this was exactly what they needed to do.
That one last week it is, then - packed with goodbyes and see you soons and keep in touches, stuffed with graduation parties, and crammed with frantic packing.
And so it happens.
They travel.
They go to France and to Greece and to Iceland and then back to France. They go to Japan and Sealand and Australia and Brazil and France again. Canada, Greenland, Turkey, Chad, Egypt, France. New Zealand, Scotland, Ireland, France. Germany, Denmark, France. India, China, Saudi Arabia, Chile, France. Spain, Tailand, the Philippines, Russia, Poland, Norway, the Netherlands, and then France once more.
They climb literal mountains and go deep sea diving in almost all of the oceans and skydive once on each continent except Antarctica. They help build schools and houses and stay with foreign families that become extensions of their own. They help raise money for charity and find rations for those who need it, they teach different things to those they come across, and pick up more on the way. They dance in the street when there are musicians playing, or sometimes play along with them, and they see monuments and rainforests and artifacts and museums and waterfalls and canyons and deserts and mountains and oceans, but it’s always France they came back to.
Because somehow, it stayed like that. Always France.
(And if it was because of the countless times both thought of confessing their feelings there, rather than the architecture as they said, then neither said anything.)
More, more, more countries, so many they’re loosing count, and then France.
Again and again and again.
They aren’t expecting what comes next.
Because it’s France that they go to last.
It’s in France where he finally gets up the nerve to tell her.
And it’s in France where their luck finally catches up to them and all shit hits the fan.
They are in the plaza - of some random city they always seem to get caught up in, but could never remember the name of because what did it matter? - and as he begins to cross it over to her, with two piping hot coffees in his hand, all he can do is stop and stand, transfixed and gaping in horror as time slows down.
The cab driver speeding towards her fought for control even as he sped off the road and out of human capability of stopping it at that moment, even as it ran straight for her and he tried to swerve around.
It didn’t work.
Her earbuds in her ears, her face lit up in a glorious smile, the sun hitting her face and her light, and her hand raised in a happy wave towards him, completely oblivious to her impending doom or he cabbie desperately honking at her, which she still couldn’t hear - and damn it, (Y/N), why do you always have to insist on listening to your music so loud? Why now of all days?
Her face doesn’t even get a chance to morph into an expression of confusion as mortification takes over his face, or as the coffee slaps to the ground, splattering up to speckle his jeans and seeming to burn his sandaled feet.
And as he rushed forward, he supposed that, perhaps it was a blessing, that she never got the chance to do so, because that meant that the last way he saw her was when she was at her most beautiful - happy, excited, and just comfortable in her own skin. Not terrified for her own life.
He sprints as fast as he can and pulls her limp body into his arms, not caring for the blood smearing onto his open skin and summer clothes.
“(Y/N)? Look at me, (Y/N), honey, you’ve gotta keep your eyes open.”
He looks up from her to yell at the gathering crowd.
“Quelqu'un appelle une ambulance!” He shouts, desperate for them to do it, to do something because she was dying, God dammit!
“How’re you feeling, baby girl?” He whispered to her, and then instantly regrets it.
He didn’t want to hear about the pain he could so blatantly see.
And he holds her tighter, and she whimpers, and her fingers curl into the sleeve of his shirt, and before he can stop her, she’s talking again, and he can’t help but remember their meeting all those years ago.
And she’s talking and talking and it’s getting softer and softer and he’s not really listening, but he’s still hanging on to every word as he shakes her back awake continuously, nods his head and encourages her to keep going.
And somewhere in there, he thinks he vaguely heard her say the words, “I wonder if this is how Papa felt,” and his heart clenches.
“Let’s hope you won’t get a chance to ask him too soon, huh?”
She gives a weak chuckle, chokes a little, spits away the blood settled on her lips.
“I never told you, but-” His eyes widen and his heart pounds.
Did she love him too?
Is that what she was going to say?
No! She couldn’t do this - not now, not right before he lost her!
And yet…he needed an answer.
No, he decided. No, I don’t, because she’ll make it through.
“(Y-Y/N), don’t-”
She keeps talking, but she voice gets softer, so he has to stop and lean forwards to hear.
“I always made you take us here because the cafe smells like Papa’s cookies.”
His stomach drops with grief, and he can’t even register that she didn’t tell him that she loved him in her dying moments, because those words were enough to break his spine.
He never got to see that fear or confusion, and maybe he should’ve been grateful for that.
He wasn’t grateful.
He wanted (Y/N) back.
And as he cradled her to his chest, and that blinding rage welled up inside of him, he wanted to cuss out that cabbie and then grab him and punch him in the neck nine or ten times, but then she would have been disappointed.
So he sends back a letter.
And he stays.
And it hurts - or it hurts him right in his fucking soul, shattering it into thousands of pieces, seeing her reflected in the world around him, but at least this way he thinks that maybe - just maybe - he might be able to find a sort of peace with the truth here, in the place she loved most.
(And if every day he goes to the cafe and tries some of their cookies, and if everyday he takes a single bit before pushing forwards his plate and leaving, with the comment, “I’m sorry, but it just…isn’t right,” because those were not her Papa’s cookies, even if they smelt like it, then he didn’t say anything, and neither did they.)
He runs across a store one day - nothing particularly extraordinary about it. In fact, he would have passed it had he not seen the ridiculous garment that was in the window.
Instead, he stopped.
Stared.
Tilted his head.
It would suit him, he supposed, and the color-
He inhaled sharply before changing course and heading inside.
He came back out ten minutes later with a magenta leather jacket.
(So maybe magenta’s a color now. When did that happen? He’s not sure. It’s not like he has anyone to ask, much less tell.)
He never went a day onward without it.
It was like he kept a piece of her with him wherever he went.
(And maybe he was healing, but he didn’t say anything, because he hadn’t needed to be healed in the first place, right?)
Eventually, he works up the courage to move back home.
Plasters a smile on his face, spoils the Triple M’s.
He goes to college, eventually - like they talked about.
They are astounded by his credentials, like they had predicted, and he was almost instantly let in.
(James was there. That was good, right? That he was seeking out his other friends? They said that that was supposed to be progress, didn’t they?)
Of course, all good things come to an end.
In this case, for Thomas, it came in three different shapes and sizes.
Their names?
Why, Hercules Mulligan, John Laurens, and, of course, their ringleader, Alexander Hamilton.
He couldn’t fathom why Lafayette ever hung out around them.
Of course, this was coming from someone who constantly got into debates, arguments and other squabbles with the trio (okay, so really just Hamilton) all around campus, insulting and being insulted for everything from their hair to their shoes to how they walked to how they talked to how they presented their last debate.
Despite it being an obvious choice, however, never once had Hamilton ever insulted his jacket.
He had a hunch that maybe Lafayette had told them not to.
After all, they had met Lafayette in France.
He knew what had happened.
He had drawn his own conclusions when he saw the coat, like everyone else had, as Thomas had never explained to any of them, but he could bet that like James’, Lafayette’s was probably pretty damn close. (Except James’ was probably one hundred percent accurate.)
Whatever the case, it went without saying.
Don’t mention my fucking coat and I won’t hurt you.
That was the general message.
An unspoken rule.
But Hamilton’s always been about breaking the rules, and eventually, this one would end up just like the rest of them.
So when he decided to leave their most recent crowd gathering argument (just about all of them were) and turned around to make his way back to the dorm, you can imagine what he felt when he heard the words, “Do you think he wears such a horrid colored jacket to compensate for something else?” Passed from someone’s mouth everyone’s ears.
He didn’t know who said it.
Forty percent on Hamilton, twenty five on Laurens, twenty on Mulligan, and the fifteen left on any random watcher - that was his bet.
Either way, it only took all of twelve seconds for him to freeze, comprehend, turn around and deck Hamilton one straight in the face.
His hand was throbbing as he walked away, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care.
Mulligan and Laurens helped Hamilton up, all of them seething. (though Mulligan looked a bit amused)
Lafayette just looked at his friends with a dark look, warning them not to go any further.
“That,” he told them seriously, “was crossing a line.”
Everyone around them was dead silent.
“It’s only a fucking piece of clothes! What’s the deal?”
Lafayette’s eyes flashed in another warning.
“It’s a topic best left alone. Let the poor man go, he doesn’t need this right now,” they were shocked to hear him, for once, taking a side between the two - and even more so when it wasn’t theirs. “It’s the least you could do after all the memories you probably just brought to surface.”
And they watch in stunned silence as Lafayette walks away, too.
The next day, they try to approach Thomas.
“Look, Jefferson, Lafayette explained about yesterday-”
“He what?” Thomas asked as his head snapped around, absolutely livid.
“He explained. Well, sort of. Anyways, I just wanted to apologize - didn’t know we were making you think of bad things an-”
“Ná labhairt ar cad nach dtuigeann tú!”
Those around them who heard his shout at Hamilton’s words were stunned at the language none of them understood.
Here they didn’t know him, after all, which meant that here, everyone only knew that he could speak English and French - which was only because he was often caught conversing in it fluently in French class and with Lafayette.
He stormed away before anyone got the chance to ask on his outburst.
(And if James shook his head and followed after him, then no one said anything.)
And life once again went back to the way it was.
(And if he was unhappy with that, then he didn’t say anything.)
And Thomas was sucked back into the smothering routine of college.
(And if he found comfort in this, he didn’t let it show.)
And James worried.
(And if maybe he kept just a bit closer of an eye on Thomas after what happened to Marty, then he didn’t say anything.)
And the Triple M noticed.
(And if Marty tried to commit suicide that month, then no one said anything.)
And his Dad cried.
(And if that’s the first time he’s ever seen him break down like that, such a strong facade having been kept in place for years now crumbling in seconds, then he didn’t mention it.)
And her Mama was terrified.
(And if it was because she was afraid of loosing the only family members she had left, just like she had lost her husband and her daughter, then she didn’t say anything.)
And his mother was sad.
(And if it was because Mowlie and Marty and Merlin were growing up and away, and so was he, and she was just that much closer to having them slip away just like what had happened to her Mama, then she didn’t say anything. And if it was because she saw his dad cry, too, then she didn’t say anything. And if it was because Marty was in the hospital, she didn’t say anything. And he wasn’t so sure she could fight giants anymore.)
And his life was in shambles.
(And if that was how he felt, then he kept his damn mouth shut.)
And he hated it all.
But he is healing.
(Is he healing? He thinks he is healing - but then again, that’s what he thought before he came back from France, too. But it was also before Marty tried to kill herself, and before his Dad showed such vulnerability for he first time in his living memory, and before he realized that his attitude was getting to the Triple M, too, or that her Mama was scared, and his was showing such sorrow, and that was before his fights with Hamilton became more constant, because he was asking for it bringing back those memories, and that was before he had to drag himself out of his pit of self pity and depression for the third time in the four years that’ve passed, he reminds himself.)
And he is moving on.
(Probably. He still wears he jacket. Does that mean he’s moving on? Maybe he just likes the color these days.)
And it’s all going to get better.
(He’s not so sure, though.)
Another year, again and again and again, he falls into the pattern.
Shatter.
Stitch.
Heal.
Shatter again.
Repeat.
Shatter.
(Like he shatters when Marty tries again, and a third and a forth time.)
Stitch.
(Like he stitches over the wound when they get her a therapist to help work her through it.)
Heal.
(Like he heals when he thinks he sees her smiling more often, like he heals when he thinks she’s getting better.)
Shatter.
(Like he shatters again when he realizes that no, she is not better, but she is trying. Like he shatters when he realizes that she might never get better and he might never know, because she’s figured out that as long as she says the right thing and act the right way, everyone thinks that she’s okay. Because that means that they fixed her, right?)
Repeat.
Shatter.
(Like he shatters when he finds Merlin, his little brother in all but blood, sobbing his eyes out in front of his college dorm and He came all the way out here? How the fuck did he even get in the building? and when he finds out that it is because he was just rejected by his long term crush, who had laughed in his face for thinking he would go out with him. Like he shatters when he realizes that Merlin is only telling him about his gender preference now, and while it didn’t matter or change him as a person, it still hurt because he hadn’t trusted him with this until now and God, am I really that horrible of a brother?)
Stitch.
(Like he stitches it back together again when he buries the hurt because this is Merlin, and somebody just fucked up Merlin and that meant that he’d have to find them and fuck up them ten times worse, and because Merlin had his reasons and he could respect that.)
Heal.
(Like it starts to heal when Merlin goes back to his own home with his Mama again, because he’s pretty much over it by now, and like it starts to heal when Thomas tries pointing him in Mowlie’s direction because God, wouldn’t it be great if they were finally actual brothers? Maybe they would have been, someday, before France, but you can’t change the past, and he’s anything but blind, and Mowlie and Merlin are perfect for each other.)
Shatter.
Stitch.
Heal.
Repeat.
It’s a pattern that never ends.
(Not when Jordan Kykes from down the street gets evicted and he can’t do anything to help her save the house, not when Betsy Ross from middle school gets paralyzed from the waist down, not when Hamilton cheats on Eliza, not when he finds out that James Reynolds has been abusing and blackmailing his girlfriend Maria, not when Jay Howes gets assaulted and doesn’t speak for three days, not when his Auntie Lola gets fired from her job, not when James’ long spouts of illnesses grow more frequent and more violent, never never never, it never ends.)
But he comes to figure that maybe that’s just life.
And maybe he’s okay with that.
(And if he’s not, then it doesn’t matter, because it’s life and it’s already happened and it’s still happening and it’s going to keep on happening, and if he doesn’t like it, then no, it really, really doesn’t matter, because even if it happened, then he had no one to tell.)
And that’s just life.
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