#one of the first ppl to interact w me actually

[sirensea14]

SIS HAPPY BIRTHDAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! sadly i am too busy with school and stuff otherwise i would have made something for you but HFAOHFIOHFIOEHFWIOEFHIEO I WILL TRY TO MAKE A LATE GIFT FOR YOU CUZ YOU DESERVE ITTTT 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕❤️❤️❤️ thank you for being the kindest and at the same time being one of the best artists i have ever seen here on tumblr!! you are not just a great artist, but also a wonderful friend that i could ever ask!! PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE THERE A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ADMIRE YOUR WORK, THEY KNOW THAT YOU ARE AMAZING FR AND YOUR DRAWINGS HAVE INSPIRED ME SM <33333 i really hope you are having a great day!! and in the name of bendy!! (or kickin chicken lol) YOU SHALL BE HAPPY ON YOUR BDAY AND HAVE THE GREATEST DAY EVERRRR!!! ❤️❤️💗💗💗💗🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN SISSY!!

-from Melody 🎵

AWWWW THANK YOU BROOOOOO 😭😭😭

You dont rlly nead to make a gift for me, just a simple "happy birthday" is enough! Tho u made a whole letter for me so if u rlly wanna make smth, then go for it! No pressure tho, and also goodluck with your school out there!

#this is rlly a short response help-- #i feel like im not showing enough appreciation but lemme tell ya youre one of the best internet friends i have! #one of the first ppl to interact w me actually #and im really thankful you bean exists! #thank you again for the words! #purposely posted this on the date of my birthday at 7 am #at this time im prolly in school at exactly math period #this is a scheduled post lol HDHHDHDHHD

[vilevampire]

someday in this fandom I'll get dragged into drama over controversial ship opinions and when that happens I want you all to remember me fondly because frankly I will drop dead on the spot

#there was a thread on twt like qrt with your opinions on these ships #and I checked some of it and I. so many ppl dislike kalrobin actually. including ppl who follow me?????? #honestly I'm used to my fave ships and stuff having no content like c'mon I'm a viewtiful joe fan I'm super used to it #but seeing ppl hate on my fave ships is kinda heartbreaking actually #especially kalrobin and jazzllocer like ugh ugh ugh those r my otps #and I'm not a fan of the most popular kalego ship outside of the context of kalego x robin x balam #I'm just waiting for the day somebody gets beef w/ me for not liking kalego with balam or jazz with lied or iruma with amelie #or for being annoyed at certain aspects of iruma x azz #literally most popular ship in the fandom. I feel like I could make so many people mad with that one #I'm very niceys though I hate fandom drama I don't want to buy a fight with anybody I just want to make content for my rareships in peace #I am!!!! a little sad!!!!!! kinda bummed even!!!!!! #yk on mairumatwt there's this one guy that's also called lucas and he's also brazilian #but he hates kalrobin and sees jazz and allocer as brothers. I've never interacted w/ him but I think he's my evil doppelganger #actually I'm the evil one. like hello guy litcherally named vile over here #anw. kind of a little very sad I think this is the first time I've seen so many ppl hate something that makes me really happy. #and I have no idea why some of them follow me it just confuses me hddgijdgd #lucasings

[goldevolution]

and as much as i love it when random happenings turn into important bonds i think its equally as beautiful when u have some random interaction with someone and it deeply impacts u and then u never see or hear of them again. like wow we know nothing abt each other and yet u still managed to be a key memory in my life how cool is that!!!!!!

#GAY COWBOY FROM PRIDE 2019!!!!! CHARLES FROM THE RENFAIRE WHO MY FRIEND ACTUALLY BUMPED INTO AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!!!!! I STILL THINK OF U!!!!!! #the group of ppl i played pokemon go with when it first came out. when we ran around the whole town looking for the ponyta someone spotted #it was literally only that one day for a few hours and then i never saw most of them again and those i saw around i never rly spoke to again #even though it was such a small town #the one guy who i remember most bc he was so boisterous and fun and loud who was a graduating senior while i was going into freshman year #i actually saw again a couple years later as his friend was driving and he stuck out the car window shouting I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ALL #down the entire street #apparently hes one of my friends best friends ex boyfriend but my interactions w him were only limited to that #all these ppl who i dont know i cherish them deeply #to me these kinds of intersections with random ppl at random times are rly just as precious as lifelong friendships. just in different ways #i can only hope that ive affected ppl randomly in the same way that is my one wish #GOD!!! THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE AND JOY IN THIS WORLD!!!!!! SO MUCH TIME FOR SO MANY GOOD THINGS!!!!!

[hyakunana]

I think you might have missed last year's Dawning event, because we can now give Elsie cookies (Starwort Thins).

?????!?!!?!??!?!??!???

WHAT?????

I MEAN--

Yes, I missed last year's Dawning event, because it was the period they took Beyond Light out of gamepass, but I do remember checking the first week's event and recipes and I do clearly remember not having hers back then 😥 Unless it was only available for those who has access to BL by that time?? Either way I remember being really upset bc of the gamepass thing and I only returned to play after WQ, so yeah I could have easily missed it

#WELL THIS YEAR I /AM/ FIXING THIS #I think not even my fireteam were playing D2 back them for the same reason #so no way i would be informed either by them sjfkskfk bUT ////THIS YEAR/// #i also bought BL anyway bc i missed stasis too much it was worth my bucks #but im still sad no one told me now i feel like a clown #//lays down on the hard cold europa ice// #on another note thank you for the info! i would die without knowing of that! #i think thats the first year i actually feel part of d2 community and interact w ppl about it 🥺 #altho only on tags and inbox bc this is a portfolio acc sjfjsdkfk

[allhappyandgay]

I just want to drop by n let u know that your signs and therefore your horoscope doesn’t take yr personality disorder into consideration. do with that what u will

#it’s all abt fundamentals. yr core #behind all the coping mechanisms and trauma responses and disorders #also ppl don’t realize how much each of the signs interact w each other based on their ruling planet #if u don’t relate to yr sun sign (the only one most ppl know) then I recommend looking into yr other signs and seeing what they all actually #mean for u. everyone has almost every sign with a different ruling planet but most ppl just think everyone is one sign and there is a set of #traits for each one and they’re often wrong. that is because u are basing every aspect of yr personality on one single sign when really #each sign reflects one or more aspects of it #for example yr moon sign rules yr emotions moods and feelings and how u are when u are most comfortable. that is one part of u and whatever #yr moon sign is is the one who’s traits apply to that area! same goes for all the other signs and ruling planets u can have one without the #other if u want it to make any sense to u #and again yr signs have no way of knowing what yr brain looks like past where the planets were when u were born. #I never related to being a leo bc they’re outgoing and attention whores and materialistic. then I realized not only is being a leo sun one #aspect of my chart and not my whole self but also that I was raised in a way that specifically made me reject a lot of those traits #so I mapped it all out and focused on fundamentals (which actually is a rlly cool way to get to know yrself and think abt how u rlly are) #for example I hate attention because of specific disorders I have. but I secretly love being taken care of and seek out attention in ways #that divert from regular “everyone look at me!” mega confidence ways #also not on either side of the is astrology real discourse I just like it cuz it’s fun and a bit of wisdom for the day I don’t let it rule m #life lol. but if u are interested or even just frustrated or think u hate astrology cuz it isn’t true for u u might just not get it yet! #it’s more complicated than it seems and much less simple than ppl first think #dens.thots

[turtle-seance]

drink up, Casper /lh /j

[sorry 4 so much spam is2g I'll stop when meds work ">_>]

they made this for ME, PERSONALLY, actually

also no worries lmao im having a great time

#ask #vomitell0 #NOT to be emotionally vulnerable on main but #hold up i gotta uhhh #////////////////////// #///////////////////////////////////////// #///////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #ok that should be enough that the rest of the tags will be under like #one of those. tag read more things #anyway umm . i love my family obviously but its also. been A While since ive interacted with ppl outside of them. or draxum but yknow #so tee ell dee are: random internet strangers sending me random shit is actually free dopamine. hope this helps #anyway if anyone read this far. you tell NO ONE #.. to be fair i think at the very least donnie already knows like. thats pretty much why he made me this in the first place #mikey probably does too hes good w that kinda thing #but like. yknow. i still have a reputation to keep up #leo.txt

[sunnydice]

man.

#i had this whole post ive been trying to formulate for so so long. abt my issues w ceewilbur and ccwilburisms and #to clarify i do like cwilb he is one of my faves. ik it may seem i wanna bite his arm off smtimes and i Do but #its mostly bitterness directed to the stuff Around him if that makes sense. yk the response to lots abt him #the way the overcompensation abt how he can be villanized swinging into a state where he Cant and never Did and wrong and if you critique #or acknowledge it you get snipped at and demeaned and treated like its a targeted hit on the mentally ill when its like #a mild disagreement with one of the most popular characters in the fanbase Easily #and w cc wil i do think he is just sm guy. im sure he's a nice dude idrc abt the ccs usually but he seems alright enough even tho he has v #goofy ahh takes and opinions but that doesnt make you Evil #but when i dive into what really has made me feel so alienated and snippy its. llmao its the racism yeah lol its super very much the racism #its very very prevelent and very common and very unchallenged. and it like. upsets me so bad its why i keep bailing on making my actual #full detailed post abt it. cuz everytime i try to formulate my thoughts i just get upset and frustrated i wanna rip my hair out #its hard not to feel like im talking to a wall when its so common and unchecked and. ive seen rightful critiques of these spaces and how #ppl interact with them Openly Mocked and brushed aside and treated like 'petty sensative internet drama' that ppl need to 'just get over' #sorry man im a fucking 🇲🇽 i cant exactly log off and Stop Experiencing Racism. and sorry that me feeling alienated and tired and sad abt #it is an inconvenience for you llol #and like idk. im not upset w anyone in particular this isnt a call out post or vague who give a shit and. #eh maybe im stupid but i really really believe a lot of ppl arent doing it on purpose #its just bein parroted ik i get it but #am i rlly not allowed to be tired? why should it feel like my responsibility to hold ppls hand and go hey mb treat poc and darker skinned #ppl like ppl. maybe you should examine why you need so many things made palatable to you through conventionally attractive whiteness first #idk. idk!!! am i crazy who fucking knows #but it has been weighing on me stupid style so bad #the shrinking fanbase and primarily yk common stragglers has just. rlly felt like a magnifying glass to my already existing issues abt it #idk man. idk im tired and im at work its 100°+ and my head hurts so this is all yr getting. lea me alone #and again this isnt a vague who Cares. just wanted to get it off my chest finally #huri.txt #discourse #<- ig

[asahicore]

feeling like a broken record even tho i havent said it in a while lol but pls remember to do more with fics than just like them 🙏 i think i speak for most writers on here when i say that a nice ask, reblog or comment really makes us happy and gives us motivation to write more, its been really depressing logging onto here the past few days and having a lot of notifications but 95% being just likes, and my ask box being super dry ://

#idk if this is the case for other ppl but personally when i post a fic #the first like 2-3 days it gets a lot of feedback and after that its radio silence.. #and i dont understand bc practically as many people are reading it but no one interacts w it anymore #ive woken up everyday this week with 99+ notifs and dont get me wrong im really grateful for the sheer amount #of ppl reading my works #but getting an actual reaction back feels really nice too lol #emma.txt #ive heard that readers get annoyed when writers say this for some reason?? which im not even gonna comment on lol #so i try not to talk about it too often but also it gets frustrating and i dont wanna not speak up on it

[awek-s-archived]

.

#aweks.txt #hate saying this bc it’s exactly what the hate anons from last night were aiming for but I do wanna die a lot rn FJSJFNSN #I always say if smth is justified fair enough and. no matter how ppl wanna keep saying that it wasn’t baseless. it really was #just because you can’t read doesn’t mean the rest of us relate to that too #i thought I was pretty clear but I’m not gna sit there and write out points about everything they said abt me while trying to give my #personal opinion on what I thought abt what they initially said #in their very first message they accused me of hating trans ppl and said ‘fuck you and her’ while going hard w the hate #then accused me of not being trans #then proceeded to weaponise their own identity bc I wasn’t playing into what they wanted me to act like #and I’ve been thinking abt it all night and I reached out to mutuals more educated than me to talk it out and such #people who are ACTUALLY from the communities the anons were claiming to be in #who said that it really was a huge witch hunt just for no reason #i get life is hard for everybody and it sucks but I can’t imagine hating myself so much that I go on anon to tell someone to fuck off and #then say that I’m glad I ruined their day #like that’s just. fucked up esp since you don’t know me #not to mention all the lies they told including that apparently they interact w me all the time which just isn’t true 😭 lol #anyways #all this to vent one final time and say that I’m gonna have anon off indefinitely #and just quietly work on my requests and my interactions with my mutuals :) #and just honestly to remind people that no matter how much you hate someone (in this instance me) #it doesn’t justify making things up about them or putting words in their mouths or generally making it your life mission to make their day #awful and then say you’re proud of it 😵‍💫 like I pity you. sincerely. i hope you find what you’re looking for in life and take a break from #the Internet bc you truly need it #everyone who was nice to me and dmed me I want to say thank you again and I really appreciate all your words

[agapemoon]

these two girls are so nice to me, they literally added me to their group w other two friends and hell i messaged them “thank u for adding me 💖” and i think that was a MISTAKE, like who THE FUCK says that in an irl groupchat. WHO.

#i literally hate myself rn #its been so long since i actually wanted to interact w people so bad #Like i truly want them as friends #Other ppl ive met irl were fucking trash #but they are so nice #I havent had irl friends since 2018 you all i feel LONEY #but i feel like a baby learning how to socialize all over again #also may i add how i panicked when they asked how my exams went and i lied saying i passed math when i in fact did not #that was the first day we met and tbh i lie to strangers all the time bc i dont SHARE info about me #so i thought ‘well im not gonna see them again so might as well not look too dumb’ #but things escalated so fucking fast and i feel like a novela protagonist #Ive decided im gonna tell them i lied but the thing is …. When #and i HAVE to tell them bc im retaking math in a few months and one of them is also re taking math so. #Truly. TRULY feel so bad rn #i feel shameless #I feel dirty

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

#ask #headcanons #passes out. my Mind #dunmesh

[worstqueerbaittournament]

Submission message: howdy, would like to submit keith and lance from voltron (lmao)

Submission message: BBC Sherlock and Moriarty / BBC Sherlock and John Watson

Additional propaganda: Now Keith and Lance on the other hand was a whole fucking mess that they then shoehorned in an hetero romance to try and "fix it" but by lord it was bad, everything about voltron is so fucking bad

Anyway this is my Klance propaganda : They were actually bait

Klance's queer baiting by the team was the worst!! We had to deal with NETFLIX ALSO GETTING IN ON THE QUEER BAITING!! If you searched up Kkance during the times for season 6-8, the SHOW WOULD POP UP. The directors would make jokes about it being canon, even Lance's VA got in the joke!

Their queer baiting was the worst for anyone who was even looking for an ounce of queer rep in that show. The only queer rep we got was a man who died after not even 5 minutes on screen, and shoehorned in the credit scene of a gay wedding of a character that was neither Keith nor Lance.

I do not know Agatha and Sophie, so I can't argue that klance was bigger bait or not, I just know voltron was mean lmao. the creators said stuff like "lance will be someone's first choice!" (meaning NOT ending up in a relationship with allura bc she very much chose another guy over him) and heavily implying he would be Keith's 1st choice (or a guy in general bc of point number 2). point number 2: they also released official art showing how super cool and diverse the main cast was! race! gender! LGBT - they had shiro (who was......canon gay but that's a whole other can of worms) and lance hold the sign with LGBT on it and then did absolutely nothing with that w lance at all (he hit on allura, so obvi he's not gay, but at least bi or smt) (UNLESS you count the scenes where he's flirty with keith). I just remember going into the last few seasons being like "klance probably won't be happen be honest with yourself there's like no queer kids shows!! but damn like it so could tho!!! because of how much it's been teased both in the show and by showrunners like I can't have no hope with the way the producers talk about it!" lmao I should have had no hope, but i genuinkey believed there was a possibility it could happen. and actually I discovered after the fact that i think one of the writers for the show who was the main advocate for klance (they had a lot of diff writers for eps, which led to lots of character butchering but ANYWAY) left not terribly long into the show I believe bc he didn't like the direction it was moving in and didn't want to be tied to the show anymore. so it's not like fans just made klance up either - it was written into earlier episodes with the hope and plan to continue developing later, and then just nothing ever happened with it besides INTENSE teasing it to keep queer fans around. esp after shiro's relationship was literally only a flashback and then his fiance thing or whatever got blown up before we even got to watch him interact w shiro as we knew him in present time in s7, so I think they kept being like hmmm klance and the stuff about lance being a first choice before s8 to keep ppl around. also esp bc klancers made up such a big portion of the fan base. then they made a horrible szn and ended it w a flashforward to shiro marrying some random background character who maybe had 1 line? I just remember hitting the flashforward and being like uhhhh who is this dude??? but they did that to hit those diversity points wow first gay marriage in a cartoon or smt idk it doesn't count to me really. so anyway voltron in general is queerbait lol but klance is because it started out as a legit possibility and then they said sike! but only maybe sike bc u guys are mad at us burying our guys in s7 so maybe klance could still happen haha okay now we're serious no it's not happening. anyway I think klance is p bad queerbait and a vote for them is a valid vote, not just u liking the ship.

#im sorry but johnlock is a household name in ther queerbait trenches

I don't know much about blaze runner, but this website made me endure Johnlock FOR YEARS, that ship makes me so fucking angry, and it's so much bait, the whole fucking show is just 4 kinds of bait in a trenchcoat trying to pass as something good, and Tumblr(and the rest of the goddamn world) ate it up like a five course meal. So anyway that's why I'm voting Johnlock

#klance #keith x lance #voltron #voltron legendary defender #sherlock x john #johnlock #bbc sherlock #tournament

[ardourie]

honestly i think the reasons ppl want the answer to be as simple as 'all callouts are bad actually' or 'all callouts are good and right actually' is because in order to figure out whether something ur reading is informative and helpful and a genuine warning vs tumblr kin callout #5734957634857 is people would have to actually read and think abt what they reblog rather than just reblogging with #staysafe and #omg i never liked that person anyway

warning poc that someone has a history of racism without any apologies or desire to do better, pointing out someone has a history of interacting sexually w minors, these things are not pointless. theyre tools that r there to protect vulnerable parties, and honestly the word of mouth warning system was developed BECAUSE the authorities usually dont gaf about any of us anyway... of course any power can be abused but its like. everyones accountable if they were in the angry mob bc they didnt do their own checks first yknow.

no one likes the answer 'its everyones fault' also kicking a slave owner off this site is not 'pointless' i think its reasonable for everyone to be made aware someone Owns a Child Slave. so they can decide whether or not they want to support some1 like that. its... very simple to me idk

#right as always literally all this #like we need to actually be reading and thinking about what’s being stated and draw conclusions #💌

[absurdumsid]

I need info on saejun an you obviously know him better than me, so can i have you favorite hcs, theories (how he joined the mtt), or interactions on him w/ the mtt :)

OF COURSE U CAN !! so sorry, it took me a bit to compile all of this from my older notes aaaa have a compensation doodle bc i took SOO long GHGHHHGH

anyway saejun nation pspspspss

saejun !! THE beloved if u will

he regularly speaks korean but learned english after meeting nightmare and killer

i love to think he's very very strong, he can beat the mtt in a fistfight kind of strong (not like he would, but he'd win)

he can cook decently but he'd choose his brother's cooking any day (even if pilsu is still um learning)

he also really likes spicy dishes !! he bonds over that with dust !

he'd forgive ppl who steal from the farm but he wouldn't forgive harming the crops

he HATES pesticides (i think this is canon actually) but also really hates strong smells in general

sleepy 24/7 he lays in the grass to photosynthesize (he just passes out, pilsu wakes him almost every time)

probably knows a lot of offhand herbology/biology trivia (he can explain the aerobic and anaerobic cycle by heart)

his general attitude toward the mtt/bad sanses is not to pry unless they're the ones who open up to him (even now he only rlly learns about their situations through nightmare who doesn't talk that much about it anyway)

he accepts mtt with open arms and its that accepting (almost forgiving) nature that makes them so super attached to him !!

for me, it's the concept of meeting a version of yourself that lives the most peaceful life and being happy for him, but ALSO not being shunned by that alternate version for being violent and hurting the people that you both love

as for how saejun met mtt, my general interpretation of it is that nightmare struck a deal with saejun for food supplies in exchange for manual labour (so mtt and nightmare help a lot with the harvests! the only ones who really know about it is pilsu, saejun, anseung, and suggu)

killer // 고통씨 (Mr. Misery/Grief)

saejun meets killer first and was the only one helping around the farm

i don't think saejun would be the type to pry into their pasts so he doesn't question killer about himself or anything

killer is the one who opens up to him one stormy night after a stage 3 episode where he holed himself up in the shed and saejun found him cold, shaking, and curled up embracing himself

he calms killer down and tells nightmare abt it and that's how he finds out about killer's past (he doesn't bring it up, but he's always there to help killer after his panic attacks)

he likes to do the chores with killer most of the time just in case he has a run in with chorongi or suggu (the kids are very silly and tend to mess with him and he doesn't know how killer is with children)

they photosynthesize together and sometimes nightmare just comes to get killer in the evening and finds them in the grass

horror // 취급주의 (Handle with Care) or 주주씨 (Mr. Vermillion)

he meets horror second (after he gets kidnapped by nightmare) and saejun isn't really scared of him because he figured that he probably has some hidden issues like killer

saejun thought horror was really fragile at first (because he was very thin and had a skull injury) so he actually had him do mostly little chores like going to the market or gathering eggs from the chickens

after a few months killer doesn't come in (was sent to a mission somewhere else) and saejun needs someone to handle the heavy hay bales (<- he could've done it himself but hes lazy) and horror just kinda Does It and surprises saejun

he starts to depend on horror more and actually admits that he was underestimating him out of concern for his wellbeing and horror says its ok because he was also underestimating saejun (until he saw him carry killer AND a bunch of crops home that one time)

they start to cook together and do the heavier chores (while making silly jokes abt killer) together

horror starts to learn korean by talking with dorihye, saejun, and pilsu as well as asking nightmare for some reading material ! (after finding out that dust also speaks korean, he starts practicing conversation with him !)

dust // 유골씨 (Mr. Ashes)

saejun's meeting with dust was noooot planned at all, nightmare just kinda forced mtt into a portal to farmtale during one of errors visits

horror mostly stayed with dust at first who was just dead silent and stayed in one spot (saejun asked if he wanted any drinks and it took ten excruciating seconds before horror had to answer water for him)

its not until pilsu comes into the house and greets killer and horror and makes a remark about a new brother that he starts to actually talk

dust doesn't exactly warm up to pilsu and more like forces himself to because pilsu starts to ask him what his favourite pasttimes are, his favourite food, if he wants any snacks, etc (killer and horror went through the same thing)

dust eventually gets carried off to the kitchen to cook with pilsu and that's how pilsu finds out dust speaks fluent korean even though they have different dialects

saejun goes into the kitchen and has a little talk with dust (where he learns they both speak korean !! and that that's why dust wasn't speaking that much !) and they bond over pilsu's silliness (dust talks about how his papyrus also loved to cook etc etc, saejun notices that its in past tense but doesn't dig any deeper)

dust eventually starts to visit farmtale with horror frequently to exchange makguksu and ramyeon recipes with pilsu !!

dust is also relatively close with dorihye, anseung, and suggu who tend to remark that "the other saejuns dont really talk much" to which horror always chuckles

that's all (for now) !! TYSM FOR ASKING ABT MY BLORBOS BGHGHRGRHG

#farm sans #saejun #saejun park #farmtale #<- because this mostly occurs in farmtale #killer sans #horror sans #murder sans #dust sans #undertale au #murder time trio #bad sanses #sans au #sid rambles #sid answers #i FUCKIGN LOVE SAEJUN PARK FROM HIT UNDERTALE AU FARMTALE BY GUINONGTALE_AU #long post

[unproduciblesmackdown]

with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"

like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two

like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]

and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.

there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"

like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen

#the like metanalysis i'm applying to the wynnstannery journey meanwhile....a multifaceted like Oh Yeah I See places hand on surface #tl;dr like yeah i would love to do theatre in w/e ways and i would truly enjoy my experience completely in its own right. b/c i Have.... #stopped dance when i was fourteen coz knee hurty; gender hurty; parental involvement hurty; was going into college and was like will i even #have time for dance stuff? like yeah maybe but i didn't know it & figured i'd probably be forever busy & fail out anyways. took a break. #and that first year there was some delightful The Shakespearean Theater Just Down The Street also theatre adjacent class experiences #which was just More expansive & More evidence like yes i love all this shit a lotttt thanks #however at this juncture like; oh you Can audition for school theatre & even get there by yourself #didn't want family to know & come; didn't want to be alongside ppl who Did have all this high school experience and even if they didn't #were older so just probably at all better at shit lol. also my roommate had a lot of theatre interest & experience so i would've felt #awkward or out of place. like i do Not want to have to be really socially connected or like be criticized on some As Personal Acquaintances #supposed helpful basis lol. was sort of peripherally eventually [theatre doers] socially involved but eh #i had fun helping out with behind the scenes stuff Sometimes; or just hanging out in that arena #but i didn't make friends really & the true Downgrade was feeling like i was supposed to be / Had to be #one of those cases even when it's like ''yeah for some people they let you be around peripherally b/c you're the butt of the joke'' #like yeah great lmfao This Isn't It....but then going off oneself to some pwyw shakespeare show where you don't know what's going on but #that's not even required to enjoy it and Live Theatre and hell yeah babey. the actors were all whole adults & professionals & kind #like for me the social aspect is [when you're In A Show there's more afforded ''you're allowed to be here''] lol & that's it. #i like being around people but i like being there ''by myself.'' i can enjoy spontaneous; fleeting interactions contained in that moment #i don't need or even want those to Lead To Something That ''Actually Matters'' like an ongoing personal friendship or w/e #i enjoy those interactions in their own right; interacting in the capacity of both doing Show Tasks in their own right #i enjoy being in these Performances and Rehearsals in their own right & All The Enjoyment Was Already There. #i never needed or particularly looked for Especial Feedback from any sources. there needed to be an audience but that presence Was It. #i was engaged & enriched & interested in my own right. all very clear and clearly Genuine #vs whatever i was recognized as especially Good At or what i would just kind of do / was supposed to do but it's like; eh #or just otherwise like yeah i like some of this; but not nearly as much; &/or there clearly aren't ways to engage w/it in ways that i #actually want to or enjoy. i loved having a part but never needed it to be like Solo or the Main part. when i was doing & had done the #performing in rehearsals or shows like That Was It; that was what was fun. didn't anticipate or need the least Especial Feedback #just knowing like yeah that's the good shit. this is a real Passion that i enjoyed w/o ever needing anything ''more'' / external validation #wahoo....and the inherent value & relevance in just Knowing of that fact lol. wasn't always clear to me like yeah we all love that shit #in just the way that i did; right. like lol maybe not exactly and not always; actually.