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#idk man. idk im tired and im at work its 100°+ and my head hurts so this is all yr getting. lea me alone
soconfusedwithmylife · 9 months
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see that was my exact problem like not that hawks cant be non angsty and good but like spinner is SO pre-wolf jacob like he is the one whining about having to tell tomura to stay off touya cause his dad gave him 20 bucks, fixing bikes with him, hating on sam uley for taking his friends away (i dont have the mental strength to sort a sam rn) but like after he transforms he is SO HAWKS, the banter, the snark, the if you dont kiss me rn i just might go kms idk, UGH. and touya is like perfect edward cause everyone thinks they are like cool as a cucumber but in their head its kermit in a washing machine while something like last resort or bring me to life plays. and like tomura and bella look a frail human but they'll do shit like casually slice their arm surrounded by vampires and everyone's like 'oh you are unhinged, actually'. idk man i feel like im letting all the shigahawks stans out there, you know? all five of them! i feel like it could work if it was like, leant more into the banter side. like kevin thought tomura was pretty and he is also fun to hang out with but like after new moon he is like 'oh!! he's crazy too!!! <333' and tomura's like 'ive done like REAL stupid shit since we met do you have some issues' and kevin's like 'oh!! you wanna fix me so bad <33' like basically, edward's angrier, jacob's slightly mellower and bella is just REALLY tired. ive invested too much on this oh my god look away loOK AWAY LOOK AWAY
I literally love you omg. See, now you're making me want to marathon all of the movies tonight.
From what I can remember of the movies, you're so right about pre-wolf Jacob being spinner. 100% such a good boy. Then hawks being post-transfermation Jacob? 🥴 Bro, I love your brain fr. I freaking cackled with the Kermit in a washing machine while last resort plays. Dead ⚰️ I'm just dead cause you're so freaking right, that it hurts lmao.
I would love to see the flip flopping between them that bella does. Like, I can totally see Touya going "adios ✌️ *fades into oblivion*" and hawks swooping in like a bird of prey to save tomura from himself.
(The 'I might just kms if you don't kiss me' and the 'you wanna fix me so bad' got my heart going ngl. I love toxic stuff like that and it fits them so well 😩)
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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years
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[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM
‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️
disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.
-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often
-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.
-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??
-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities
-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK
-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.
-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)
-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these
-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times
-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE
-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this
-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista
-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house
-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm
-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)
-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)
-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state
-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO
-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.
-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL
-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers
-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍
-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀
-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did
-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one
-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks
-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES
-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it
-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON
-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting
-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—
-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—
-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again
-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo
-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch
-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—
-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*
-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)
-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—
-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream
-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be
-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.
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fleshblueberry · 3 years
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Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored
Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality
I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-
When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)
Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.
now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-
Jam out!
... I don't even know what to say to this
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askmyboys · 3 years
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I’d call these more, my own interpretations instead of just OCs
I’ll tell you how this happened tho, i was literally just comin back from a l o n g ass road trip listenin to the musical and my tired lil brain started thinkin bout these boys and i was like ...what if i just,, made my o w n versions of em? What if I just,, and then boom, out popped well, this-
| Names: Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde
| Nicknames: Jekyll doesn’t much care for nicknames but Hyde calls him Jek, Hen or Hen-Hen, or Henny which he REALLY hates. For the other, it’s either Ed or just simply Hyde ...Jekyll has given him many ‘nicknames’ mostly they are hateful ones tbh.
| Genders: Henry goes by he/him and Hyde goes by he/him and it/its
| Ages: Unknown but they are both adults
| Heights: Jekyll is 5’7” and Hyde is like 6’6” for sure (even tho they inhabit the same body, fuck it, im makin the rules ..andchangingthemfromtheogthing but i say height changes when Hyde’s in control)
| Species/Races: Henry’s a human ofc and Hyde? Honestly, idk what this thing is, all i can tell you is he’s stinky
| Eye Colors: Jekyll’s eyes are a Baby Blue color and Hyde’s eyes are Blood Red (ooh e d g y man)
| Hair Colors: Jekyll’s hair is honestly a messy curly undercut and the color of it is a dark brown and he has gray on the sides meanwhile Hyde’s hair is Black and in a spiked quiff style and he also has gray on the sides
| Skin Colors/Body Types: Jek’s a BIT pale but Hyde’s a much more- his skin is definitely more so a Whitish Gray kinda color so it’s definitely more noticeable than Jek’s skin if you look close enough at that (things do have to change when a certain one is in control of the body, can’t be EXACTLY the same or else it might give away that their the same person hehe) and their body types don’t really change- Jek’s body type is skinny (nothing TOO bad ofc, just a tad bit) if Hyde had his own body he’d definitely be a more average kinda bulkier build.
| Appearances: Okay first things first- they both have circle beards EXCEPT Hyde’s is a LOT more scruffier (he also has thicker sideburns btw!) and a BIT more grown out than Jek’s which is trimmed a bit more and groomed perfectly.
Jekyll usually has the typical lab coat on and a baby blue turtleneck underneath it, he also has blue pants that he wears with it as well and some oxford shoes that match the outfit, he also wears circle glasses as well (they help him see a lot better p much whereas when Hyde’s in control he doesn't really need em actually) Henry has a GOOD amount of scars all over his body, whether it be by accident, inflicted on purpose, or something more… It’s partially why he keeps his turtleneck on mostly and the lab coat helps as well- he’s ashamed of the scars and he tries to hide them especially so no one will worry about him, also for some more minor details- he wears a black watch on his wrist as well (he has no piercings or nothin like that) that’s p much it for Jek tbh, his features are p much 100% human so uh yeye
Now onto Hyde’s outfit- And yes, keep in mind- he’s still kinda,, an entity or whatever the fuck he is inside Henry’s body essentially but he DOES change his clothes when going out- his main one for going out is usually a black cloak he wears around himself (the outfit underneath is a black suit vest with a long dark red tie (his shirt underneath the suit vest is a dark red long sleeved shirt), he also wears black pants, and dark red oxford shoes, and of course he’s got a black top hat on (the band on it is red, definitely keeping a black n red themed appearance here aint he?) (his other outfits, hm I can leave up to the imagination tbh this is just for when he’s travelling around and so other people don’t spot him nearly as easily, especially when it’s n i g h t t i m e…) he’ll wear whatever the fuck he wants, and it doesn’t have to be fancy in the s l i g h t e s t- he has a variety of options.
He also has pointed ears, razor sharp teeth (got them bear trap teeth but not only that, he’s got a lot more s e c r e t teefs than that ;) he’s a lot more monstrous on the inside than the outside i’ll say that much, Jek’s n Hyde’s anatomy does change and transform depending on who gains control ...honestly it probs hurt to have your body transform and shift like that ouchie) he also has multiple tongues, he has claws that he painted black and red for the a e s t h e t i c s ya know- and hell at this point he might as well have tentacles ...He might- but I mean if you really wanna know, fuck around and find out for yourself and fuck it- he also has a dark red devil style tail since he wanna act like fuckin Satan himself smh
...I made him a lot more monstrous than originally planned but eh its fitting- bc this is Jek’s body even with a LOT of changes in these regards, he’s got the same scars n such as that, he also wears black and red spiral gauges in his ears (I should also say, he can technically hide these features to make himself appear more human, i didnt originally intend on giving him any actual monstrous features except maybe sharp teeth, claws, n the pointed ears but here we are, he still gotta not arouse suspicion around him too much tho) also his eyes have dark circles around them, not because he’s a tired man he’s just a fucking- hellish bastard who loves to look intimidating.
| Personalities: Let’s uhh start off with Jekyll because he’s better and nicer and not nasty and gross n smelly looking- He’s kind, sweet, compassionate, caring, honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly himself- could never willingly hurt someone! A sweet babey man! He’s very intelligent- I mean,, he IS a Doctor after all, he takes pride in his work but it’s not that overbearing narcissistic type pride, he’s just proud of the breakthroughs he’s made ...Granted, there is one “breakthrough” he wished he could take back .. -glancing slowly at Hyde in the reflection of the mirror- ahem- but he’s always been pretty outgoing but a lot has changed since, that abomination came into his life, sure he still tries his best to be a good person, he tries his very damnedest to find some sorta way to separate or better yet a way to destroy this evil vile beast that plagues his and everyone else’s lives! He’d rather destroy Hyde than separate from him because even then, it's still back to square one only with worse damage since he’d be of his own free will now.
He shuts himself away in his Lab a LOT, as much as he can anyways to avoid going out and risking something more happening to anyone else, of course…
There is no avoiding the outside world forever, he needs things to eat and drink, he needs things to keep his body functioning and not to mention not going outside could drive him, well, more insane than he already feels he is- He just tries to be as quick as he can about it before the other takes control or tries to, Jek definitely has a lotta anxieties and fears, and ya know at this point I mean,, hell- the man’s got trauma- Sometimes he wonders if any of this is actually real, if he had just gone insane and was just imagining all this, sometimes his head hurt because of all the thoughts and potential scenarios along with their outcomes plagued his mind, he feels a lot of things he never thought he’d feel towards anyone, he feels anger and hatred toward Hyde but in a way aside from feeling so negatively toward the other, he can’t help but admire the way Hyde wishes to just simply l i v e, and even before this beast became apart of him… He was always anxious deep down and almost scared to take that jump when needed.
But Hyde? Hyde doesn’t seem to even c a r e! That thing lives it’s life without any care whatsoever, he doesn’t have any anxieties or fears at all it seems! In a way, Henry might even be a lil envious toward the other’s carefree attitude and that he’s free of anxieties and fears ...H-He still doesn’t want the other around, he still wishes to destroy Hyde of course, even with the envy and maybe a slight bit of admiration he has his morals and principals, and if Hyde continues to exist or w o r s e gets his own body it could prove v e r y perilous.
Now onto… Eugh, Hyde- The bastard man himself- He’s stinky- an evil bastard who really needs just a good punch in the face (god don't do it yourself tho, he’ll probs eat ur entire arm) Hyde’s absolutely disgusting, will do ANYTHING to get what he desires, he can be narcissistic in some regards, VERY prideful and greedy in many ways, he isn’t above committing murder like really, was he EVER above it? If he wanted, he’d literally murder you not even for a bag of corn chips but literally just one, psh- selling you to satan for one? Bah that’s amateur’s work! He’s somehow a minor inconvenience who can commit REALLY nasty and horrible atrocities at the same time if he feels like it, if he finds out something annoys you or REALLY pisses you off he’s going to keep doing it, he will literally try driving you insane just for the fun of it, really at this point it doesn’t seem like he HAS much of a goal but to just l i v e and cause chaos, destruction, and mayhem wherever he goes, he despises Jekyll in many ways, one being for trying to destroy him first and foremost but also Henny is just s o fucking weak, such a weak man with far too many anxieties, fears, etc- He’d be SO much better of a man if he’d simply let Hyde take control and STAY in control!
It’d make everything a lot easier, then Jek wouldn’t have to worry about ANYTHING ever again! No more of that pathetic nonsense! If it were possible, Hyde would absolutely l o v e to have his own body, separate from Jekyll, that way he could have his own life separate from that pathetic weakling’s! But… Even then, Jekyll and Hyde are one, in many ways they are absolutely apart of one another, two sides of the same coin, even with their MAJOR differences in personality and Hyde almost seeming like an entirely different entity just merely possessing Jekyll, after all, Hyde will admit it himself, he spawned from deep within Jekyll’s mind, he’s tried to get the other to see time and time again that he’s always been apart of the other deep down, Jek’s always had a more mad and evil side to him! Even if the other will deny this and take the denial to his grave, Hyde always persists in trying to get the other to see the truth in front of his eyes!
Aside from that tho, Hyde is just generally a dick and loves to mess with Jek and terrify him sometimes for literally no reason, hell he could be bored one day and decide “Hey Henny, fuck you, you suck” he loves to start drama, he loves to cause problems on purpose- Both of them would give anything to separate from each other, even if Hyde knows the truth deep down bout the both of them, even if he were always originally a part of Jekyll, it didn’t matter, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get his own body, away from that pathetic coward of a man!
| Side Facts: Jekyll rarely ever gets to relax or any free time, he’s too worried to give himself that in fear he’ll lose control, he’s almost CONSTANTLY fighting to keep control over the other, even though he knows it's physically impossible to do so, after all, he can’t stay awake forever, sure that doesn’t stop him from trying to stay awake as long as he can before his body practically forces him to pass out and he’s MUCH weaker than he used to be, I mean hell, given how long Jekyll seems to have been around, fighting SO much and almost EVERY single day has practically worn his body down but whenever there is an opportunity for any “free” time he usually spends it trying to figure out an antidote or a way to get rid of Hyde (I will say, before Hyde REALLY started doing bastardous n horrendous things, Jek would still get annoyed with him bc he was always that way but he actually, I’d say tolerated him more so than he does by now) and Hyde even- well, he still disliked Henry IMMENSELY so, but he definitely wasn’t as bad or as awful as he is to the other now, it was more so I tolerate you and we dont have to seriously fight or struggle with each other for control and back then Jek would even sometimes let Hyde have control.
But then… A serious incident (I wont name what exactly) but a serious incident that happened caused the two to absolutely despise each other (i didnt say up there, yes, Hyde absolutely despises Jekyll but there is some heavily hidden admiration in regards to the other’s determination, his persistence, and even somewhat of his creativity, Jekyll despite being an annoying nuisance in Hyde’s way, he does have some admirable things about him) but anyway- ever since that incident occurred, Jek has tried almost EVERYTHING he knew of to get rid of Hyde, even if separation from his body would still be bad bc that could mean Hyde would obtain his own body honestly? I believe Jekyll would still take that opportunity if he were given it, if he needed, he’d try and find someway to stop Hyde’s evil, maybe it’d be easier even if the other had his own body, he didn’t know, he just wishes he could be free from all this torment and agony like gosh damn give this man a b r e a k. Give him some fruit gummies and an appy juice carton and leave him be!
When Hyde is in control he wastes little time in finding things to do, being able to be out, to see the world, the world ripe for chaos and destruction, he wastes little time in getting straight to work with whatever his devious lil mind wants to think of- also for more monstrous purposes, back up there, I was p vague with the mention of teeth on his insides- p much teeth going down his throat and hell who knows, the bastard probably has teeth on the inside of his stomach at this rate- Another not so fun fact, this man can unhinge his jaw! Yaaay so u can see sharp teefs! ...He does have to kinda set his jaw back in place though bc god forbid Jek takes control then.
Smh imagine taking back control of your body only to have a fucking dislocated j a w wouldn’t that be hellish?
Hyde rarely ever does this for a few reasons- he only does it if he’s in the mood for just takin a big chomp outta someone (big chompy) just, just please- lock this thing away- or kill it, it's a menace to society and deserves nothing good- two more things btw, tbh I genuinely wasnt even considering inhuman features at first but ya know, I compromised- he has them he just chooses to hide them more often and speaking of, while Hyde says he’s always been apart of Jekyll (well this version I made anyway) that deep down their two sides of the same coin, can you really believe him? I mean, I’m not going to spoil it and tell ya anything in that regard, but who knows, who knows what Hyde REALLY is, whether or not he’s always been apart deep down inside of Jek or just some form of entity that spawned via that wonderful little formula.
And the final thing is, their voices are p much based on the musical ones' voices- Hyde’s is that deeper n raspier kinda voice while Jek’s is much softer and ya know POLITE sounding.
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lgbtyrus · 5 years
Text
Two Exes on Mars
A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.
Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)
Words: 2,668
He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.
Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?
But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.
That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.
“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.
“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.
“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”
“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.
“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”
“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.
“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”
“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”
TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”
“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.
TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”
Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.
“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”
“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.
Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”
“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.
“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”
“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.
“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.
“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”
“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”
“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”
“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”
“What?” they asked in unison.
“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -
Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.
Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.
Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.
Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.
Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.
Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together
Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.
TJ: Goodnight Underdog.
Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.
At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.
-
A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.
It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.
Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.
Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.
“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”
“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.  
“You always say no.”
“True. Anyways, what’s up?”
“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”
“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”
-
“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.
“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”
“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.
“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”
“Me, too,” Cyrus said.
“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”
“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”
“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.
“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.
“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.
“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”
-
Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.
When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”
“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”
Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”
“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”
“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”
“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”
“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”
“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.
“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”
“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.
“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.
“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.
“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.
“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”
“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”
“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”
“Which are?”
“We love you.”
-
anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.
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spin-birdie · 5 years
Text
there was a conversation in the rk1k discord about a spiderman au a while back and i decided to try write something about it bc its consuming like 30% of my brain
idk if i’ll write more (im way better at writing ideas down as bullet points instead of prose) but man it just seems like a neat idea idk
word count: 1.6k
pairing: general
additional tags: human au, physical violence, gavin is an unsympathetic rat boy
Look, Connor considers himself a calm person. He’s level-headed at the best of times. But he’s pretty sure even the calmest person would panic at least a little if they got stuck to their bedroom wall.
One hand is completely splayed out on the ceiling, the other one still stuck to his sneaker. His feet aren’t quite flat on the ceiling, but he certainly wouldn’t have a comfortable fall if he stopped sticking to everything. Why he’s sticking to everything, he still doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know why anything that’s happened to him today has happened; he grew a good three inches taller overnight, he accidentally stuck to his biology textbook - and subsequently tore it to shreds - this morning, and it’s like he’s jumping at the slightest provocation. There’s been a foul taste in his mouth all day, and he swears he somehow burned a piece of paper he chewed on, but he hasn’t got a fever. It doesn’t make any sense.
Even so, the thought sends Connor’s anxiety through the roof…more to the point, his anxiety is making him stick to the fucking roof.
For no good reason, he keeps thinking about yesterday. The field trip to the CyberLife Lab, the spider that crawled onto his hand and left him a painful, bruising bite. The tour guide said something about the experiments they were running on arachnids and other small animals, genetically enhancing them with nanobots in an attempt to slow or prevent extinction, or…something. But that doesn’t make sense. There’s no way to confirm the effects are transmittable to humans.
It’s probably not helping him at all to scream his head off, but he’s not sure what else he can do. He’s pulling his hand away from the ceiling as hard as he can, even trying to pry it off with the sneaker in his other hand, but it’s not working. He’s just putting more cracks in the paint.
He can’t see the door opening from his angle, but he hears it, followed by his dad’s voice: “Connor, are you o-- What the fuck?!”
At the same time as his dad swears, Connor finally frees his hand with a startled yelp. Drywall flakes off with it, but it doesn’t quite fall into his face before his entire upper body falls down with nothing to hold it up. The upside-down view of his room, of his dad’s confused and horrified expression, makes Connor nauseous.
And just a second too late, it strikes him that he’s hanging from the ceiling of an old house by nothing but the balls of his feet. With a dull crunch, the drywall above him gives out and he plummets to the floor. Connor’s fall is half-broken by his bed, but his knees land straight on the floor. Carpet be damned, it’s a rough landing.
And now there’s a perfect handprint of missing drywall on Connor’s ceiling.
---
Okay. So maybe Connor has unhuman abilities thanks to a genetically altered spider. That’s fine, probably. Kind of. Once he figures out how to ignore them, everything can go back to normal.
And for a few weeks, it’s almost like Connor gets away with telling himself that blatant lie. Ignoring them during school is hard and stressful, but at home, he’s free to throw theories (and himself) at the wall to see what sticks; and once he’s done that, he knows how to avoid triggering them. It gets a little bit easier to stop sticking to everything, to stop burning whatever enters his mouth or visibly jumping whenever something sets off his fight-or-flight reflex.
Maybe it’s a smarter idea to tell someone. Or maybe telling someone would be the fastest way to be locked up in a government facility and experimented on until someone wrote a book about him. Or maybe he’s being paranoid, but still, Connor has a bad feeling that he doesn’t want anyone to know what’s happening to him. And apart from his poor father, no one seems to know.
“Hey, jackass! I’m talking to you!”
That might change if this guy doesn’t leave him alone, though. Connor’s sharpened foresight allows him to step out of Gavin’s reach before he can grab Connor by the back of his sweatshirt. Instead of turning back to face Gavin, he pulls up his hood and keeps walking as fast as he can without looking conspicuous.
Gavin reaches out again, successfully pulling Connor back by his backpack. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
As Connor is forcefully spun around, he barely stops himself from glaring. “I’m pretty sure I’m not. And I’m pretty sure this isn’t even the way to your house, so you ought to turn back and go home.”
Predictably, Gavin ignores him. “Don’t play coy. You promised to help me out with exams, remember? I just need your English notes; I’ll bring them back safe and sound tomorrow, alright?”
“When I promised to help you, I thought that meant tutoring you. I’m not letting you copy my notes. Especially if you’re copying them word-for-word.”
“That was one time--”
“If you don’t want to listen in class, that’s your own problem.” Connor can’t quite stop spite creeping into his voice when he continues: “I’m not letting you get us both in trouble just because you don’t want to stop being an asshole.”
“Watch the tone, robot,” Gavin sneers.
“If you literally ever watched your own, I’d consider it. Instead, you have to waste all your energy on being the biggest dickhead on the planet and pretending you’re not just like every other mediocre straight guy ever.”
He shrugs Gavin off and steps back. “Ask someone else for help. I’m done talking to you.”
That proves to have gone too far as soon as Gavin shoves Connor back into the wall of a nearby building. His backpack stops his body from colliding at full force, but his head still gets knocked pretty hard. Right before Connor recovers, Gavin moves forward and punches him straight in the diaphragm. He doubles over for a moment before Gavin grabs him by the jaw and shoves his head back against the wall.
“Alright, smartass! I’ll give you one more opportunity to do this the easy way.”
It dawns on Connor just then; they’re alone. Connor is the only kid who goes home this way, and he doesn’t live in the nicest part of town. At school, there are always witnesses, no way for people to get away with beating each other up for very long. Out here, people probably won’t step in unless Connor runs for help, and he’s not sure if he can get away fast enough. At least, not without setting off his powers.
Connor bares his teeth. “Smartass this, retard that, do you even know my real name? Is your brain that small?”
Gavin hits him in the stomach again. And again. Connor thinks he hits a kidney on the third strike. And then he makes a snap decision, jerking his head to the side and biting down, hard, on Gavin’s finger.
“Ow, what the fuck?! Ow!”
Gavin recoils, clutching his hand like it’s on fire. Connor didn’t expect such a strong response, but he’s just glad he hasn’t got his back against a wall, and he wants to keep it that way. Without thinking, Connor grabs Gavin by the ears and headbutts him with all the force he can muster.
He promptly realizes a human skull is harder than he thought, so he hurts himself just as much as he hurts Gavin. And he’s within range for Gavin to reel back and knee him directly in the groin. As he curls in on himself, Gavin throws him to the ground and kicks him again in the stomach. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
He doesn’t stop, he even kicks and stomps on Connor’s ribs and face a few times for good measure. There’s blood in his mouth, and he’s not 100% sure it’s Gavin’s. He pulls his hood all the way over his face in an attempt to protect himself.
And a few moments later, it abruptly stops. Gavin breathes like he’s tired, but he’s not kicking Connor anymore.
“What are you doing?!” an unknown voice shouts. “Leave them alone!”
Gavin swears through gritted teeth, and Connor hears footsteps sprinting away. He doesn’t get up. The newcomer murmurs under his breath - their? It’s a masculine voice, at least - before more steps are heard. A hand rests on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
It takes Connor a few moments to find his voice. In the meantime, he drags himself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain. He’s definitely going to have some spectacular bruises, and that’s a best-case scenario. “I think so,” he grits out.
“Can you tell me your name?”
Connor lifts his hood enough to look at the stranger. A tall guy with tawny skin, who looks to be a little older than Connor. His head is shaved, but there’s a ghost of stubble on his jaw. His eyes are heterochromatic, focused intently on Connor even as he not-too-subtly gawks at the stranger’s arms. He’s obviously athletic, and the tank top he’s wearing doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination.
Oh, right. Still bi.
And still in immense physical pain. Connor leans over and cradles some of the worse pain spots. “I’m Connor.”
“Markus,” the stranger replies.
Something feels amiss all of a sudden. It’s close to that distinct feeling Connor gets when he’s in danger, but there’s something off about it. It’s pulling him towards something instead of away; towards Markus, specifically. Some unheard epiphany is pulling at the corners of Connor’s mind, stronger and stronger until it snaps. Almost simultaneously, they speak:
“You’re like me…”
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firebuug · 5 years
Text
ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!
pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen
buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.
team: 
- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)
- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)
- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)
- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)
- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)
- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)
i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse
team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)
- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)
-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)
- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)
- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)
- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)
gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.
team:
- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)
- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 
- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it
- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)
- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)
- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)
- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)
farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.
team:
- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)
- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)
- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)
- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)
- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)
- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)
skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money
team:
- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 
- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)
- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)
- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)
- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)
- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)
okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!
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riverrunfar · 6 years
Text
We're gonna be okay
(Holy shit! You guys!! I didn't think my last post was gonna get that much attention! Over 100 notes?? Thats crazy im ajakfjsaujdh- thank you guys!! I personally thought that last post was complete garbage but idk about that anymore. Anyway I was rewatching Jacksepticeyes lets play of DBH and I wanted to write another fanfiction! Also I would really love some feedback on if you guys want some more Connor x Reader things! Thanks again that makes me super happy guys!)
Fandom: Detroit: Become Human
Paring: Deviant Connor x Detective Reader
Summary: You, Connor, and Hank get kicked from the deviant cases because of the hole war that was going on and everything and you had to leave Connor and Hank to warn Markus about it. Soon your faced with machine Connor with him pointing at gun at you and Markus. You got shot! Now what's gonna happen?! Read and find out!
Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, wounds, and mentions of death. (Also spoilers?? I tired to write down what i remembered from the game but i know its not 100% accurate so don't come after me. Juussstt warnin ya! :))
(Honestly guys this story is kinda all over the place but i hope its still good. Its way longer then i wanted it to be but oh well. There might be some misspelled thing but oh well. I really don't feel like fixing them rn 😂 anyway i hope you like!)
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"You're off the case." Fowler said. "Wait what??" you yelled as you looked at Captain Fowler in complete shock. "You can't pull the plug on us now! Not when were so close! Can't you have my back this one time?!-" Hank said. "This isn't in our hands anymore Hank! This is doesn't have anything to do with us anymore- this is a fucking civil war were talking about here! We have no control over this situation anymore!" Fowler yelled.
You stood there in complete shock. No way! They couldn't do this! Now what are you gonna do? You're gonna have to tell this to Markus right away!
"Hank your back on homicide. While the android goes back to Cyberlife." Fowler said as he nodded over to Connor. You looked at Connor with a concerned look. Connor looked at the floor for a second, then to you. You gave him a 'im so sorry' look and he just looked back at Fowler with a slightly sad look on his face. "As for Y/N, your back on the red ice investigation. They need you back there because they have barley gotten any leads since you left." Fowler said as he rubbed his head. You nodded and looked down at the ground as you shoved your hands in your pockets.
Hank walked out of Captain Fowler's office and you followed right behind him along with Connor. You sighed as you sat in a chair next to Hanks desk while Connor sat on Hanks desk. You bent over and put your head in your hands while Connor just looked at Hank for a second.
"We could have solved this! With just a little more time! We could have accomplished this mission!" Connor said with a frustrated tone. "So what? Now your headin back to Cyberlife huh?" Hank said as he looked over at Connor. Connor shook his head, "I have no choice. Im goings to be sent back and deactivated to see why I failed my mission." He said with a slightly sad and disappointed face. You looked up at Connor with a worried expression.
"But that isn't fair! You didn't do anything wrong! We just didn't have enough evidence! We weren't close enough! It's no ones fault! Especially not yours Connor!" You said in a defensive tone. Connor shook his head. You sighed and looked back down at your legs. Hank was about to say something but you stood up and walked in front of him and Connor.
You hugged Connor. You hugged him like it was the end of the world. You felt so bad for him. You always believed deviants were in the right and humans were in the wrong. Markus helped prove that along side with the rest of Jerico.
You had developed feelings for Connor over the last few months of working with him and Hank. You had a crush on the Android, you wouldn't deny it. So knowing that this would probably be the last time you saw him, you hugged him with everything you had.
Connor didn't know how to react. He didn't know if he should hug you back of if he should push you away. So he didn't do either. He just sat there. Shocked. While you hugged him. You understood that he didn't hug back, but it still hurt you non the less. Slowly you let go of him. You needed to go and report to Markus and the rest of Jerico about whats happening. But you didn't want to leave Connor. You looked at Connor with sad eyes as he just sat there, stunned. You looked down as you shook your head slowly, then you felt tears start to make there way to your eyes.
"Im sorry Connor but I need to go. I have to go do something." you said sadly as you looked up at him. He looked at you with a sort of sad expression.
'No!' he thought. He didn't want you to leave just yet. He wanted to spend his least moments at DPD with you! He didn't know why but he just wanted to stay by your side! And just be with you!
"Im...Im gonna miss you, you fuckin android..." you said as your voice cracked. You slowly leaned in and kissed Connors cheek. He was taken back and so was Hank. Poor Hank was so confused. He was just sitting there awkwardly as you too were in your own little world.
Connor didn't know what to do or how to react. This wasn't in his programming. This wasn't part of his software. He was so udderly lost for words. Poor boy. You chuckled softly at his reaction. But oh was that laugh music to Connors ears. He loved it and he realized he wanted to hear it more. But he couldn't.
You slowly let go of Connor and backed up away from him. Your touch still lingering on his shoulders. You sighed sadly and looked over at Hank. You put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small peck on his head. Not knowing if you were gonna see him again either. You were going to go help Markus with the revolution and you had no idea if you were gonna make it out alive. Hank just looked up at you confused as ever as you looked down at him with a small smile.
"Bye you guys...i.." you trailed off as your voice cracked. "I'll miss you two..." you said softly. You felt your tears overflow and run down your face. You quickly turned around and walked away, out of DPD, and to go to Jerico to help Markus and the rest of the cause. All the while, Hank and Connor sat there confused and sad.
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You cautiously walked into Jerico and quickly found your way to the main room and ran up to wear Markus, Simon, North, and Josh were at the top of the ship.
You were panting by time you made it to them. They quickly turned around as you had scared them. Josh let out a relived sigh as Markus walked over to you. "Y/N what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be-" You cut Markus off, "They kicked us off the case and are handing the 'situation' over to the fbi and the army. This isn't in my hands anymore. Which mean I have no idea what they plan to do anymore." you said this a forceful tone. Markus looked at you slightly stunned.
"But all i know is that there on to us. There close to finding out where Jerico is! So that means we need to be on high alert." you said with a stern tone. Markus nodded and looked back at North, Simon, and Josh. "Josh, Simon, North, go tell our people downstairs to be cautious and ready for anything that may happen. The 3 of them nodded and quickly left to go warn the rest of Jerico.
"Do you know what they know?" Markus said in a concerned tone. You shook your head. "All I know is that they know what Jerico is. I don't think they know WHERE Jerico is though." you said. Markus nodded. "What about 'the famous deviant hunter'? Where is he?" You were about answer when all of a sudden, you were cut off.
"Im right here." you heard Connor say with a stern tone. You quickly turned around to find Connor with a gun pointed directly at you and Markus. He was also in different clothing. Which, you would admit, he looked pretty good in.
"Connor?! Wait- how did you get here??" you asked as you face held complete shock in it. "I was ordered to take Markus here alive. And I won't hesitate to kill anything that stands in my way." Connor said as he pointed the gun directly at your head.
What the hell? This isn't your Connor! You Connor would never do this! He hasn't killed anyone since you started working with him! He isn't like this! He-
You were brought out of your thoughts when all of a sudden you heard a gun shot, then felt a sharp pain to your shoulder. No way.
No way!
Connor shot you!
You fell to the floor as you held on to your arm. Markus called your name, "Y/N!" but you could barley hear him. All you heard was ringing in your left ear. But soon after, the ringing went away and you could hear everything again. Now all you needed to focus on was the bullet shoved into your arm. You looked at your wound, man it looked way worse then it felt. You looked back over at Markus and Connor, and Connor still had the gun pointed at you. "That was a warning shot. Stay out of my way Y/N." he said with a cold tone. You looked at him with complete shock. You felt so betrayed. He told you that he would protect you! That he would save you! That he wouldn't do anything to hurt you! But that look in his eyes says otherwise.
All a sudden you felt something lift you up. It was Markus! He carefully walked up to you and helped you up. After you were standing again, he leaned his body against yours and whispered in your ear, "Go warn help the others. I'll be down soon." you furrowed your eyebrows and turned your head to look at him, but then stopped when he squeezed your arm as a sign to hurry. You looked at Connor and slowly walked forward. His gun still pointed at you. "Okay okay...i-i'll leave...just don't shoot me again." you said with a shaky voice. He looked at you with a cold stair. "I can't let you do that detective L/N. Im going to have to get rid of you first." he said coldly. He was about to shoot but Markus lunged forward and grabbed Connors gun and made him shoot at the ground. You quickly took your chance and ran out of there as fast as you could, and down to the main room with all the androids to get help.
Meanwhile Markus and Connor were fighting over the gun. Connor threw a left hook to Markus face, then Markus kneed Connor in his stomach. This made Connor fall to his knees and Markus was able to grab the gun and pointed it at Connors head.
"Its doesn't have to end this way Connor. You don't have to be like this anymore! They're just using you. We're your people! Come join us and our cause!" Markus said. Connor slowly got up and backed up away from Markus and said nothing. "You shot Y/N. She cares for you Connor. A lot. She wanted to help you become a deviant. You can be with her if you stop being a 'machine' and open your eyes to the reality of things." Markus said with a slightly smoother tone. Connor again said nothing. "Now I think its time for you to decide. Are you just some program, or are you a deviant?" Markus finally said. Connor looked at Markus with a cold look at first, but then it slowly softened as he looked around. He did it.
Connor became a deviant.
"They're going to attack Jerico." was the first thing Connor said. "What?!" Markus yelled. Then they heard what sounded like jets flying over them. "Shit!" Markus hissed as he ran out of the room, with Connor quickly following behind.
Connor ran behind Markus, but the only thing he could think about was how he shot you. He felt guilt in his chest but tried to push away the feeling, but he couldn't. He couldn't believe himself! He shot you! All he wanted to do was hold you and say he's sorry, but he wasn't even sure if he could do that anymore. You two would be lucky to survive this.
-------
You were running through the halls when all of a sudden you heard a loud BOOM sound. You quickly turned around to see soldiers running around the Connor towards your direction. "Shit!" you hissed. You quickly ran away from the soldiers while still holding on to your upper arm. Along the way you ran into Josh.
"Y/N!" you heard him scream. You stoped in your tracks and looked over to where you heard your name. He smiled slightly and quick ran over to you. When he got closer to you, his smiled quickly faded and you saw his eye dart to your wound. "Your shot-" you cut him off, "Yeah I know what I am- we need to get out of here! People are attacking Jerico!-" you were cut off by the sound of bullets flying past you. Josh quickly grabbed your right arm and pulled you to safety. You two stood there and waited for them to leave. Eventually you both knew that they were far enough, so you both booked it try to go find Markus and the others.
"Do you have any idea where the others are??" you said loudly, glancing over at Josh. "No! We got separated!" he said in a panicked tone. "Damnit!" you whispered. You whipped your head left and looked over to him, "We need to regroup! Can't you talk to them telepathically??" you asked. "No! Only when we're so close!" He said back to you. "Look out!-" he yelled as he pulled you into a little room as the soldiers went by. You two sighed, then carefully walked out, then started to run again.
"We just need to pray to RA9 and hope that we can find them!" he started up again. All a sudden you were tackled to the floor by a soldier! You yelled in pain as you landed on your wound. "Y/N!!" you heard Josh yell. You felt the weight of the soldier suddenly leave you. You looked over to see Josh fighting with the man. You quickly looked around to see if there was a weapon near by. Luckily for you, there was! You reached for the gun then quickly aimed it at the soldier. You felt the pain from your left shoulder shoot through you hole body but you forced yourself to ignore it.
"Josh! Hold him still!" you yelled at Josh. He did exactly that and held him in a choke hole. You quickly shot his head and watched as his body went limp. You sighed and looked at Josh. He nodded and you both took off again.
About five minutes later you ran into North and Simon. You called there names as the quickly turned around to see you and Josh. They smiled as you ran up to them and gave them both hugs! "Oh thank god you guys are alive!" you said thankfully. "We could say the same for you! He had no idea where you guys were so we just started running." North said. "Y/N your arm-" you cut Simon off, "Yeah long story but we don't have time! We need to find Markus-" this time you were cut off. You heard hurried footsteps, so you quickly turned you head only to see Markus and...
Connor?!
Connor looked at you with wide eyes as you did the same. You could hear Markus talking to north but you didn't really pay attention to him. Connor's alive?? Wait but does that mean-
Your thoughts were cut off when you heard Markus say, "We need to blow up Jerico." "Wait what?!" you yelled. "Markus that's suicide! You can't, you'll die- they'll kill you!" North said in a worried tone. "Its the only way!" Markus said, "I'll meet up with you guys again later, for now try to get everyone off the boat!" you heard him yell before he started running. You looked at North, and he nodded at you. "Let's get going then. Come on!" she yelled. You all ran to go help the other androids get to safety.
------
"Is that everyone??" Simon yelled. "I think so!" North yelled back. "Then lets get out of here!" Josh said as he started running. "What about Markus?!" you asked. "He'll meet up with us! For now we need to get to safety!" Connor said to you in a calm but rushed tone. You nodded and started running, but all of a sudden you heard gun shots. As you were running you got shot on the right side of your hip. It had barley gotten you, but it was still enough to make you bleed. You cried in pain and fell, quickly grabbing your hip, letting go of your other wound. Your right side was soon soaked with blood, and so was your hands. It was covered in it.
Connor looked back at you with a panicked expression on his face. "Y/N!!" He quickly picked up a large piece of metal as he ran over to you, shielding you and him from anymore bullets. He threw your right arm around his shoulder and helped you up, then turned you and him around as he through the metal at the soldiers, causing them to get knocked out.
"Are you okay?!" He asked in a panicked tone. "Y-yeah im fine! But we need to go! Or else were gonna die!" you said in a rushed tone. He looked at you with worried eyes, but then nodded. You and him both ran and eventually caught up to the rest of them. Also in time to meet back up with Markus too. You all made a run for the exit, but then you heard gun shots again, but this time you weren't the one getting shot.
"North!" you heard Markus yell. He quickly ran back to protect her. You let go of Connor, which causes you to stumble at first, but then quickly regain your balance as you went to go help them. "Y/N no!" you heard Connor yell at you.
You quickly pulled your gun out and started shooting at the soldiers, killing 2 of them. You saw the last one quickly aim at you, then fire. You prepared yourself to feel the pain of the bullet, but it never came. Instead, you felt a arm wrap around your chest and pull you safety. You looked to see who it was and you were slightly taken back to see that is was Connor! He spun you around and pushed you against his chest, being careful not to touch your wounds, then fired his own gun and killed the last soldier. You were shocked. He saved you!
You looked up at him and he looked down at you. He smiled softly at you and let go of you. Then his smile quickly faded as he grabbed your right hand, staining his own in your own blood. "Come on! We gotta get out of here! The things gonna blow!" he yelled at you. You nodded and started running with him.
Then you saw the ledge. Oh god! You guys were fucking high! Were you gonna survive that?! You didn't have anytime to think about stopping when all of a sudden you where snapped out of your thoughts by Connor yelling at you. "Pencil Dive!" was the only thing he said before he pulled you off with him. You didn't even get a chance to react. He made you jump with him cause he knew that you wouldn't jump other wise. You quickly held your breath as you put your arms to your sides and your legs together. Once you hit the water everything went dark. You passed out.
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You woke up cold and in a lot of pain. You opened your eyes slowly yo see you were in a old building. But you couldn't tell what building it was though. You quickly sat up and coughed violently. After you were done, you felt a comforting hand on your back. You turned around to see Connor with a worried expression on his face.
"Connor!" you said happily as you went to hug him, only have you thoughts snapped away as you felt pain shoot through your body. You flinched and whimpered quietly. You forgot that you had gotten shot and looked down at the floor. Then you noticed how your wounds were cleaned up, and that you had bandages on your arm and hip, then covered up by some wraps. Connor sighed and sat next to you, then putting his hand on your leg. You looked up at him with a sad face. But then you realized something. "Wait- Conner! You became a deviant??" you said taken back. He smiled and chuckled softly, then nodded. "Markus helped convince me. He helped me understand that im not just some machine. That im not just some thing that takes orders." he said as he looked at the ground. "He said all the things you used to tell me..." he said softly, almost in a whisper. He held a guilty look on his face. Then he looked back up, not to you, but to your wound on your arm, where he had shot you.
You looked at him with a worried expression, "Connor, its okay!" you said in a soft tone. "I know you didn't mean it-" he cut you off, "No Y/N! Its not okay!" he said as he voice cracked. "I...I fucking shot you!" he said as he looked up at you. You saw tears running down his face. You froze for a second, but then quickly collected yourself.
You put your hands on both sides of his face and wiped his tears away. You didn't care if this put you in more pain, you needed yo comfort Connor. "Its okay Connor. I know you didn't mean too. You were just following your orders. No one is blaming you for this. Im okay! It'll heal i promise!" you said in the softest voice you could manage. He looked at you with his big puppy dog eyes, and you saw tears start to form in his eyes again. This alone broke your heart. "Come here." you said softly as you brought him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around your hips, being carful not to touch your wounds, as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him tightly. He tucked his face in the crock of your neck, which made you giggle slightly. You stroked his hair and ran your fingers though it as a tactic to calm him down slightly. Luckily for you it worked and he soon stopped crying. He slowly started letting go of you as he backed up. When he finally came face to face with you he stopped, and kept his hands on your sides, as you kept your arms around his shoulders.
He looked at you sadly and rested his forehead on yours as he closed his eyes. "Im so sorry Y/N...im so so sorry..." he said quietly as he furrowed his eyebrows together. You frowned slightly and looked at him with a sad look. "Hey, look at me." you said softly as you put a hand on his cheek. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at you. "I forgive you Connor. I'll always forgive you. You could shoot me one hundred more times and i'll forgive you. You know why?" you asked. He kept his eyebrows furrowed. "Why?.." he asked quietly. Smiled a sweet smile and looked him directly in the eyes.
"Its because I love you."
Connors led went red, then yellow, then back to its beautiful shade of blue. "You...you do?" he asked hopefully. You smiled and nodded softly. "Yes. I don't when I fell for you but it was somewhere along the way of us being partners. But I think I realized i loved you when you saved me from falling of that edge when we were going to catch a one deviant, you know, the one that loved the pigeons and stuff." you said as you and him giggled. "You didn't have to save me then. But you did. You chose to save me instead of accomplishing your mission. That's when I realized you were going to become a deviant." you said as you giggled again. He just shook his head and smiled at you. "As time went on, I fell more and more in love with you Connor." you said softly as you looked at him. "Tell me Connor. Do you feel the same for me?" you asked quietly, but only loud enough for him to hear. He looked at you as a smile grew on his face. (In your opinion, it was the cutest smile you ever saw.)
"I do. I love you too, Y/N."
Connor said only loud enough for you to hear. You smiled widely as you eyes lit up. Oh god Connor just melted seeing your reaction. He thought it was the cutest thing ever. He put a hand on your cheek and smiled softly as you leaned into his touch. You wished this moment could last forever.
Sadly it couldn't.
Markus came over to you guys and coughed to get your guy's attention. You both turned to face him. "Sorry to interrupt, but, Connor were about to leave." Markus said calmly. You looked up at him questionably, "Wait, what do you mean?" you asked Markus. Markus sighed and looked at Connor. "You didn't tell her yet?" Markus asked, and Connor just shook his head. "I was getting there..."He said quietly. He then looked back at you with an apologetic look on his face. "Im going back to Cyberlife-" you cut him off, "Wait what?! Connor-" he cut you off as well and put his hands up in defence. "Let me finish! Im going back to Cyberlife to get the other androids there. If we get them, then we would be able to out number the soldiers and they would have no choice but to step down." he said calmly.
You looked at him, trying to process what he just said. "But Connor!- Love that's suicide! You can't do that! I-" he cut you off. "Trust me Y/N. Im gonna be fine." he said soothingly. You sighed and rubbed your face. Then let out a frustrated huff. "I can't make you change your mind, can I?" you said to Connor. He chuckled and shook his head. "Im afraid not Y/N." he said softly. You sighed again and nodded. "Okay fine. But you need to promise me one thing!" you said as Connor got up, then help you up. "And what would that be?" he said as he pulled you up to him. "You have to promise you'll come back to me." "But Y/N-" you cut him off, "No 'buts' Connor! You have to promise me you come back to me alive and safe! You got it?" you said as you poked his chest softly.
He sighed and nodded as he looked down at you. "Okay I promise i'll come back home safe and sound for you." he said softly. This made you smile, and he smiled right back at you as he gave you a kiss on your forehead. "Okay. Lets go drop you off at Hanks house so you can get a little more cleaned up and out of theses wet clothes." he said as he grabbed your jacket. You nodded and shivered. You didn't even realize how cold you were untill now. Connor noticed and took off his coat and put it around your arms. You smiled at his action even though you knew it wouldn't do anything, but you still thought it was a cute gesture.
-------
While taking a ride back to Hanks in taxi, you fell asleep on Connors arm. But he didn't minda at all. Infact he love you being so close to him. He was thinking about if he made it back alive, he would totally go straight to Hanks house to cuddle with you there. The thought brought a smile to his face.
Eventually you guys made it to Hanks house. Connor woke you up gently and told you that you had made it. Your face dropped from a smile to a small frown. Connor noticed this and kissed your cheek softly. "I'll be back later, Okay?" he said softly and you just nodded sadly. He sighed, "Do you want me to walk you up there?" he asked and you nodded fastly. He chuckled quietly, then got out of the car with you. He held your hand all the was up till you were at the door.
You turned to face him with a sad face. He smiled sadly and squeezed your hand slightly for reinsurance. "I'll be home before you know it, okay?" he said smoothly. You nodded and looked up at him. "Okay." you said softly. Then you did something that caught Connor of guard.
You kissed him on the lips.
He obviously kissed you back right away. He loved it. He loved the taste of you. The feel of you. He just wanted more of you.
Yeah he was definitely coming back to you. He thought. After about a minute of kissing, you two broke the kiss and just looked at each other, untill you broke the silence. "You should get going. Everyone will be waiting on you..." you said quietly as you messed with his shirt. He smiled and nodded. "Your right." he kissed your lips one more time. "I'll be back soon." he said finally before he got in the car and drove away to Cyberlife.
You walked in Hanks house only to find no body home. Well of course for Sumo but Hank was no wear to be seen. You decided to call him, but he didn't answer. You sighed and just welcomed yourself to his shower and some of his bigger clothes as you washed you soaked ones. Your sure he wouldn't mind right?
--------
Later on you found out that Hank was kidnapped by a fake Connor and you freaked out! But then he told you everything was fine and Connor got all the Androids to "wake up" and follow him to go help Markus and the rest of Jerico. This helped but you at ease.
Then the next day you found out that the Androids had won and are now getting their liberty and their rights! This made you the happiest you've ever been! They finally got what they deserved! You felt now you could truly relax! But wait!
Connor wasn't home yet!
And Hank wasn't at home anymore either after you thought about it. He left again? You asked yourself. You had fell asleep last night after Hank got home because you couldn't keep yourself up any longer. So you quickly kicked off the blanks Hank gave you last night, but got light headed as soon as you stood up. After you were fine again, you ran to your phone to call Hank or Connor. Neither of them answered and you went into panic mode!
Were they okay?! Did something happen to Connor?! Did something happen to Hank and Connor had to go help him?! Is Connor wounded at all?
All these thoughts were going through you head, when all a sudden you hear the door open. This quickly snapped you back to reality. You quickly turned around to see Hank and Connor both standing there with grins on their faces. You couldn't help but smile back at them.
Then you tackled the both of them with a hug, which they both gladly returned. Soon you let go and then smacked their arms softly. "Jesus you guys scared the shit outta me!" you practically yelled at them. They both laughed as you folded your arms. "Sorry, I guess I could have woken you up huh?" Hank said with a "im not really sorry" tone. This made you laugh and then nod. "Yeah you dick!" You said with an offended tone. Hank chuckled again and walked into his room to change. Which meant you and Connor were left alone.
He smiled brightly at you as you hugged him with all of your might. He hugged you back just as tight. "Im so happy you're home and safe!" you said quietly and tears started to form in your eyes. He let of the hug and looked at you as he kept smiling. "Of course! I promised you i'd come home to you, didn't I?" he asked and you nodded and let out a breathy giggle. You were so happy and just relived to see him home and safe and free!
Your tears slowly slid down your face as you smiled up at him. He still had his smile on his face as he wiped your tears away. Then he covered every inch of your face in kisses. You giggle happily as you hung on to his while you let him continue.
After he was done, he gently grabbed your chin and forced you to look up at him. When you to made eye contact he smiled softly. Which made you melt. You loved his smile. Slowly he leaned down and kissed you slowly. The kiss was full of passion and love! You could just feel the raw emotion radiating off of him. You turned your head to deepen the kiss and you could just feel Connor melt into your touch. You smiled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He followed you and wrapped his arms around your back, being carful not to touch your wounds.
After a few minutes of making out, you too broke the kiss and just looked at each other. You were both so happy and both feelings were so genuine. You hugged him again once more, then whispered in his ear, "I love you Connor." you said softly. He smiled a huge smile and whispered right back, "I love you too, Y/N." and kissed your head.
Then Hank came back in the room and made a fake gagging sound. Which made both of you laugh and look his way. Then Connor looked back down at you and said, "You think we're gonna be okay?" you smiled and nodded,
"Yeah, we're gonna be okay."
End
AHH ANOTHER ONE DONE!! YEAH!!!! I hope you guys liked this one cuz honestly for me this is a piece of shit but ya know what oh well. I hope it was good cut it took a fuckin long ass time to write!
85 notes · View notes
hyunbaes · 6 years
Text
it’s you • lkl
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summary: is there still a spark to light a fire that died out a while ago?
requested: no
genre: an inch of life, fluff
happy birthday to wanna one’s maknae lai kuanlin!! i love you and your cute self so much, thank you for working so hard and loving wannables so much! ✨
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• lai kuanlin, everyone loved him. everyone.
• you never understood what was so great about him; yeah he was the basketball teams captain. and?
• he was the poster child of the school, no matter how much it could’ve been anyone else
• it was him
• maybe you despised him because he didn’t have to try so hard (or so you’re lead to believe)
• you just never saw why everyone adored him; even your best friend jihoon was good friends with him
• it made your blood boil at how angry he made you
• kuanlin was actually your friend in middle school
• until he joined the stupid basketball team in the eighth grade
• then he stopped hanging out with you
• then he began to tease you for every little thing you could list
• but he mainly teased you about your height and how its a disadvantage and blah blah blah this and blah blah blah that
• kuanlin’s reasoning was actually absurd
• he’d snark rude remarks at you, anything to make you argue with him
• he actually enjoyed this a lot
• you thought he’d grow up at some point (not physically he’s literally a BUILDING RN)
• but he never changed, even now in junior year
• and that’s what made you upset with him the most, how he just forgot about you and all your memories together
• you hated him so much, you would never forgive him
• or so you tell yourself
• but even now to this day, you still miss his antics. your trips to get ice cream when school got out, the way hed pat your head cause he wanted to show his affection
• you missed him even if you didn’t want to believe it
• you are snapped out of your thoughts when you hear someone calling your name
• you look up to see jihoon, your best friend
• hey y/n, are you okay? you kinda spaced out for a bit.
• oh? I did? i couldn’t even tell all that much too be honest
• are you still thinking about .. kuanlin?
• i wish i could tell you no, but he’s been all ive been thinking about since tomorrow is his birthday.
• can’t you talk to him?
• it’s not as easy as it was 3 years ago
• you looked to the ground in defeat, knowing you’d never fix your friendship with kuanlin
• you heard a commotion and turned to see kuanlin and his 'fans' (as you called them) entering the halls
• there was a space for him to walk through without getting bothered, as if he was god
• he would stop in front of you and walk over to you
• hey y/n, do you miss me? you must miss me. i bet you’re probably bored of jihoon now? kuanlin would snark at you, enjoying your anger more than you are
• hes been there for me more than you have in the past 4 years. how would i get bored of him? and kuanlin, I don’t miss you. you said while slamming your locker, dragging jihoon with you
• you ended up at your spot in the gym, your anger going through the roof
• leaning on jihoons shoulder you asked what did I ever do to him? he thinks he’s hot stuff just because he’s the captain, just because everyone loves him. if he only knew they only like him for his image.. if he knew that im one of the only people who likes him for much more than the image he has..
• jihoon rubbed your back while shushing your silent sobs, scared someone would hear you
• someone did hear you, it was mr. captain himself
• he didn’t mean to but his basketball class is next so he gets there extra early to get ready
• kuanlin saw the doors open which was odd but he immediately stopped when he heard sniffling
• he hid under the bleachers to hear your voice... he never admitted to himself but he missed your voice
• he missed being able to be the reason why you were always happy, always having someone to rely on
• kuanlin heard what you said about him and immediately his heart stopped and his mind threw about 100+ thoughts at him
• he wanted to pat your head when you were being cute, he wanted you to be proud of him, he wanted you back to tell him right and wrong
the next day.. kuanlins birthday
• would it be stupid to not go to school because it’s his birthday? yes. is that what you’re about to do? yes.
• actually no, jihoon didn’t let you stay home sigH
• when you both got to school, you saw a single rose attached to your locker with a note
• the rose was yellow, which was your favorite color, and the note said “I always thought you were the better person between us two, see you at the game? x e.l.”
• e.l.? hm
• you showed jihoon the card and he immediately said that you two must go to the game now (despite your wishes)
• it couldn’t have been that bad, right?
later in the day, right when the game starts
• you weren’t a fan on school related activities but jihoon was all for them
• you were so against it because of kuanlin, which was the reason you enjoyed them in the first place
• the irony.. your happiness turned out to be your weakness
• you saw kuanlin and his team making their way out .., kuanlin still looked cool and cute hyping his team up but you remembered that he wasn’t who you were here for
• kuanlin saw you in the stands and he waved at you while smiling
• your brain couldn’t process the situation so you pretended to not see him (jihoon would most definitely make you apologize to kuanlin for acting like that)
• it’s hard to look at him without having your heart acting like it’s running a 5k
• the game began and your school’s team was already doing so well
• you began to wonder if kuanlin was a good leader to them, it seemed like that was the case, seemingly getting a victory almost every game, never seeing any drama; they reflected who kuanlin was, his laidback but caring self
• you smiled remembering when you first met him
• shy as ever, but still so energetic; man did you miss him
• your thoughts were interrupted by a loud buzzer and a bunch of people surrounding someone
• you find out kuanlin has injured himself, most likely spraining or breaking something
• the last bit of common sense in you tells you to stay put but you can’t
• you run to see if he is okay, offering to take him to the infirmary
• on your walk there, the silence becomes rather uncomfortable
• y/n, why did you offer to take me?
• well you were hurt, and i really couldn’t watch you just be hurt and me not do anything about it.
• he smiled a soft smile
• you did as well
• it was comforting talking to him and knowing you could make him do something other than tease you
• this is bad timing but y/n? i really miss you, i miss the presence of you around me. & I heard what you told jihoon about how much i hurt you, I guess i never took that into consideration. im really sorry for everything, leaving you behind when you needed me the most
• you stopped in your tracks opon hearing those words from him
• kuanlin? I got a rose from someone named e.l. was all you could say
• he smiled before speaking, I know you did because I’m e.l., remember when you would never let me live down the name i gave myself when i moved to the us, edward lai?
• you giggled, still finding his English name funny in the slightest way
• it’s still funny .. kuanlin?
• hm?
• thank you for not completely forgetting about me
• he wrapped an arm around you while your heart started to do cartwheels
• y/n, you aren’t just my bestfriend but it’s you. the person i wanna tell everything about first, the person i want to see me grow, the person to teach me right from wrong. I just know it’s you. you’re my person. you’re more than my bestfriend. so much more than that dumb label
• you hugged him but you heard him hiss in pain, forgetting that he’s still injured
• lets get you to the nurse before it gets worse .. and kuanlin? you’re my person too.
• this.. him. he calmed your nerves, he is your rock. & you. you are the person he wants around for life.
-
a/n: im back but idk how i feel about this!! n e ways, school has been tiring and I can’t wait for another break already UGH i hope you guys enjoy this!! 💚
36 notes · View notes
vitaminhosh · 6 years
Text
prince!seungcheol
anon requested: “prince cheol i will lvoe u forever”
pairing: seungcheol x reader
under the cut bc it’s ridiculously long
oH boy i am so ready for this au
one of the most charming and endearing princes out there??
there isn’t anyone one within a 100-mile radius that dislikes seungcheol like..... have you met him
and anyone who does kind of feel some sort of dislike towards him
they see him smile and oops
how did I not like him before?? he’s an angel??
he is genuinely hard working and kind hearted though, he works very hard to make the lives of his people better
when he was younger and wasn’t allowed to go out he would have to learn about the kingdom’s history and,, all the war and bloodshed absolutely broke his heart
he swore that when he was older he would never allow something like this to happen again
when he was finally allowed to go out and saw some of the people struggling to just make do, he was determined to make a change
nowadays he makes it his mission to go out and meet everybody and see how they’re doing as often as his busy schedule allows
he’ll have lunch in the town and chat with the people, anyone who saw from the outside wouldn’t even suspect that he was royalty and just think that it was a table of old friends
plus his absolute favorite meal of all time is in this small shop tucked away in one of the small streets in the heart of town, and it was,,, a burger
sure the food in the palace was obviously amazing with top chefs cooking there and all but,, nothing really beats the burger made in this small shop that people barely even knew about
we all know seungcheol will be a well-dressed prince 
like,, he won’t want to be super over the top in full on capes and stuff but,, he sure as hell isn’t just walking around town in sweatpants or something
he cares about his image okay
(even though everyone will swoon even if he were to go out in sweatpants and a hoodie)
everyone in his kingdom is basically in love with him
as are the people in neighboring kingdoms 
and far away kingdoms
the other princes are jealous
have you seen his smile though? it can cure diseases
he takes his responsibilities very seriously, but obviously, he’s still a young man who likes to have fun and gets bored too
he doesn’t like to sit still, so when he’s finished with all of his duties he’ll be off to go do something
even at odd times at the night, you can find him in a nearby kingdom trying to find this specific comic book or something
people don’t find it weird anymore
“oh look prince seungcheol is here again did you want more of these sweets?”
he’s often seen hanging out with the other princes when he can
the people die when they see their princes hanging out together
has public social media accounts but also secret personal ones
spams the group chat full of princes,, just because he can
ok enough background stuff onto you and cheol
you work in one of those small tucked away shops that prince seungcheol likes to frequent
however you’re not from this kingdom, and you only work the night shift so it’s not like you know a lot of people or much about this kingdom
you’re just taking this job to try and make some cash while you’re away from home traveling, you happened to choose to stay here indefinitely
you’re not entirely sure who this strangely good-looking man is who only comes in at 3am every week is but ?? business is business plus you’re not gonna judge,, it’s not like you’ve never had cravings for junk food in the middle of the night too
since it’s late at night cheol is dressed in very casual clothes so nothing really gives away the fact that he’s actually the goddamn prince of this kingdom
since he comes so often plus he just likes to get to know people he makes small talk while you gather up his stuff
after a couple of weeks, you soon become kinda like friends ?? it’s a weird circumstance but hell it’s 3am nobody’s really functioning well enough to question this
 you’re sitting at the counter on your phone when the bell on the door rings signalling another customer
you just know it’s him again cause,,, not many people would be here at this ungodly time of night so you don’t bother looking up
you stop scrolling through instagram when you hear tutting in front of you
“I should complain to your manager you know- I’d rate this customer service a 1/10″
seungcheol watched as you finally looked up and chuckled at him
“sorry old man..... how can I help you, your highness”
seungcheol froze- did you finally find out who he was?
the reason he was so interested in you was because you didn’t seem to know who he was, and treated him like a normal person
his mind was going 100 miles a minute until you suddenly snorted
“god imagine it,, you ?? a king ?? pfft”
he smirked once he realized he wasn’t busted
“what do you have against me being a king huh?”
“idk man what kinda king buys junk food like three times a week at 3am,, plus ur a dork”
“wow,,, is that all i am to you,,,,,, a dork,,,, im hurt”
you smack his arm before starting to scan the things he’s put down on the counter
“how do you eat all this and stay in shape... tell me your secrets”
“god given metabolism sorry sweaty you can’t buy this :-)”
you snorted once again as you begin to pack his things into a paper bag
“did god accidentally spill all the ego into you as well”
“well i mean to help god out i do go workout too feel free to join me if you’re not too unfit to keep up”
“uhhh excuse me who are you calling unfit..... give me a time and place and I’ll fight beat you in a race”
“fine when do you get off tomorrow I’ll walk you to the hill and see who can get to the top first”
and that’s how you ended up at the bottom of a hill at 5am with a man you’ve never seen outside the shop
“whoever wins gets treated to breakfast”
“wipe that smirk off your face seungcheol I’m not getting beat by you”
surprise surprise,,,,, you lost
unfortunately he was much faster than you thought he would be
you were both lying on the grass, panting from running up a sizable hill 
you punched his arm
seungcheol sat up, mouth open as he was about to whine when a voice came from the bottle of the hill
“your highness! there you are! you were supposed to return an hour ago you father will find out you’ve been out!”
seungcheol’s eyes widened before cursing under his breath
“I gotta go but you still owe me breakfast okay I’ll explain everything tonight ok bye !!”
you just sat there in shock as seungcheol dashed down the hill, even faster than before as the worker followed behind him
“y-your highness?”
you had flashbacks to seungcheol smirking when you laughed at the idea of him being king
you make your way back home, with a permanent blush on your cheeks and a million thoughts in your head
how could you not know that he was the prince?
oh god you’ve been smacking the prince for weeks when he makes a stupid dad joke
you can’t sleep that day and when you’re back in the shop you’re barely conscious
you’re too tired to even think about seungcheol saying he would explain tonight
when seungcheol comes in and makes his way over to the counter, he expects to find you on your phone again but instead sees you asleep on the counter
he smiles softly before grabbing an old receipt and a pen and writing a note
“sleeping on the job? strike two y/n. I really should complain to your manager, guess I was just too fast for you ;). I’ll be back tomorrow, get some rest. p.s. you might want to wash that hoodie, you drooled a little bit”
you woke up with a panic when your phone chimed at 5am, reminding you it was time to close up
oh god seungcheol was supposed to come
after you finally orientate yourself you notice the note on the table
after reading the note you flush red again
oh god you were asleep in front of the cute prince and d r o o l e d
you stumbled home after closing up and immediately went to sleep
later that day you rushed to the shop, almost late since you were so tired you slept through your alarm
as 2 am came around the bell on the door rang and you sat up straight
seungcheol didn’t usually come till around 3 so you assumed this was an actual customer
"I hope you washed that hoodie before coming back here tonight”
you looked down and noticed that you were in such a rush that you didn’t even change out of last night’s outfit
flushing pink, you quip back with a “so what if I didn’t huh”
seungcheol finally appears from around the shelf
“its a bit gross i gotta say”
“not as gross as you”
seungcheol looked at you with a soft smile on his face, trying to get the words in his head to form coherent sentences
“im sorry”
you looked at him with a blank face
“what for ?? i mean i know its kinda gross but like i was gonna be late for work and-”
“no, I’m sorry for not telling you”
you sat there with your mouth half open and closed it before looking down at your hands that were on the counter
“it’s okay”
he took your hands in his, making you look up
“it’s not, I shouldn’t have kept it from you. I’ve just never had someone treat me like everyone else and it was... refreshing. But you deserved to know, I was being selfish. I’m sorry”
you gave seungcheol a soft smile, giving his hands a soft pat as he looked down at his feet to try and get his attention
“seungcheol really, it’s fine. I understand why you did it, I’m not mad”
“I still feel bad, it wasn’t right. You should be mad”
“well I mean I am....”
seungcheol looked up, ready to apologize again
“but only cause you beat me in a race,,,,, outrageous”
you smack him again, trying to lighten the mood
“but a deal is a deal, and I still owe you breakfast”
seungcheol started giggling, and you swear your heart skipped a beat
“im trying to be serious here and all you care about is getting beat”
“cheol, i really don’t mind. plus, I’m a woman of my word, I can’t have you owe me, that’s ridiculous”
“I’m busy later, how about you just treat me to a late night snack here instead”
fast forward to a couple weeks later, and you’re back at that hill waiting for seungcheol to come so that he can introduce you to his prince friends as you have a couple of days off
you can actually hear them before you see them 
who’s even surprised at this point it’s seungcheol + 12 rowdy boys
“guys please don’t be embarrassin- oH hi y/n you’re early hahaha”
“hi I’m jeonghan are you cheol’s girlfrien-”
seungcheol shoved the guy out of the way before he could finish his sentence
“sorry,,, my friends are idiots”
you chuckled as seungcheol sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, a light pink dusting his cheeks
“don’t worry, I like them”
“wE LIKE YOU TOO Y/N”
you giggled before heading over to the group of guys to go meet them properly
seungcheol stood still for a second, watching you introduce yourself to his friends a couple feet away
jeonghan came up to him, watching you with him
“when are you gonna ask her out, I thought you were going to the other day when you guys hung out at her place”
“she was tired so I let her sleep, some other time jeonghan”
they headed back to the group and you turned to them as you noticed the two join the circle
“cheol !! is it true that you tripped over a log and fell into the lake while trying to impress a girl when you were 6? i knew you were a dork but I didn’t think it was that bad”
“wHAT ARE YOU GUYS TELLING HER”
as the day began to end and everyone had to head back, seungcheol insisted on walking you back to your apartment
you had refused at first, but you were tired and it was late
when you got to your place you turned to seungcheol, about to thank him for walking you back when you saw him looking nervous
“cheol, are you okay? what’s wrong?”
“nothing,, I just,, y/n would you want- I mean- do you,, uh,,,, will you,, go out with me?”
you could barely hear him as he was mumbling but you just managed to catch his words
you put your hand on his cheek and pressed a quick kiss onto his other cheek
“of course seungcheol, it’d be an honor”
you smiled and said goodnight before heading inside
seungcheol stood there, frozen in shock as you had not only agreed but ???? you kissed his cheek ?????
you began to get ready for bed, a smile and a light blush on your face
you can’t believe you’re dating the biggest dork on the planet
seungcheol, on the other hand, was shouting at jeonghan down the phone; he practically skipping home
a/n: this is,,,,,, the longest thing ever im so sorry i got excited about this au
212 notes · View notes
hotgurl713 · 3 years
Text
well hey
i know its been forever since i said anything on here but its because ive been writting in a diary... im 28 now and i just still cant believe it ... my dad will be 60 this year!!!!!! 
ive gone back to school and next year hopefully i will be done 2021. this year has been fucking crazy i dont even know where to begin. im sure its been the same for everyone! work took a tole on me this summer. my job contracted the virus and we lost many people to it. its sad and a real thing i cant stress that enough. my grandparents ont do anything but sit at home all day and watch the news. the a scared of me and all my other cousins. im doing everything i cant to not get the corona virus. so far so good thank you god and me beautiful guardian angel jes. i cant stress enough how grateful i am really. i hope next year is better!
my family is all good. my mom is still this unhappy soul who i wish would just find her fucking peace. im tired of being mad at her simply cause she gives off her bad energy. i know deep down shes got alot going on. i just wish that older generation that what was born in the 40s-70s really had people to talk to back then. both my parents would of been better parents shit better people if they just would of channeled all those demons and forgave people who hurt them. 
my dad is getting older and more fragile... idk. as i continue to type all this out i feel like i need to stop cause im just talking down but i need to let all this out and read it in a few years. my grandparents who are in their 80s make jokes about out living my dad so thats that. all my life weve been going to my granparents once a week and since march we havent been but once. ive never felt more incomplete i never knew how much that stuff really fucking means to me. 
tomi and stef are good. tomi is 23 now and i think stef is in her high 30s i dont fucking know lol. 
all my friends are still the same for the past 10 years and im very thankful for that. its also something i dont ever wanna take for granted again. people never understand how i can still be friends with the same people from high school but at this point were family not friends and i love it. 
im still doing stuff with guys im not supposed to. but im comfortable and ill get my karma one day. even tho i pray all the time that it never happens. i never wanna love someone so much i imagine not living without them. or i never wanna love someone so much i let them mistreat me as in all aspects. my look on love is if it happens it happens. i always think im in love but i just never know cause ive always just been able to move on and act like i dont cry at night. just recently i really been going through it. someone who is going to go un said really fucking my head up...... after 10 years of FWB ive been cut of the dick supply and im acting like i branded that bitch. i have no right to do that but i dont know if if its cause im in love or what. the connection with this person is crazy and ive never been able to compare the relationship to anything. ive poured my heart and been 100% honest about how i think i felt and it got me here... on the internet talking to no one. ive constantly had feelings for men who have wanted nothing from me but sex.ive allowed it for so long and i dont know what else to make of my life. i know how to love myself and i do it pretty well enough that i continue to pull more men that way lol but in the end i wanna have something real and be in a relationship. i know itll happen on day but im 28 and planning to have a randoms mans baby cause i dont need the man i need that unconditional love that ive never recieved. thats my journey. 
im really gunna end this now. once i start talking about myself i become over whelmed. and i just dont even wanna read my crybaby ass life story. bye
0 notes
itsinmyfaq · 4 years
Text
“dear diary” headassss 🤣
oh so glad this post gets my 57,400th post spot lmao he deserves it.
8.20.20 
okay, I get it. 
if ur a passerby pls exit this and dont pay attn to me lol you won't understand what's in my head, I just gotta let it out, as always.
I feel like I say that “I get it” every few months but I either have the worst memory ever or I just keep coming to new conclusions? LMAO. I've been sad bc I'm not over Tony and because A(redacted) doesn’t really live up to my expectations and desires honestly but I realized a something I think....
My realization started when T saw a tweet and asked me if I was sad and originally I told him I couldn't talk to him about it and he said if it’s about a guy, that I can. Which I feel weird about because... I’m not over him. But I realized that just because I’m not over our relationship doesn’t mean that he feels the same way, you know? He could be over it and I think I feel weird telling him things because I was thinking he WASN’T over it. But I have to realize that after so much back and forth of my emotions and actions, he could very well be over it, as he should be! And that was really interesting to realize.
Let’s dive deep into this so I can really process, maybe??
1. Me not being over him: He literally told me a few months ago after a convo we had about what I look for in a man that... well I cant exactly remember but basically if im looking for a man with Christian background and tendencies, that I probably should move on and start dating, I think that’s what he said because I think that was during the “I’m gonna start dating convo” so idk WHY I forget about the fact that we had an entire conversation about moving on. So I guess that I kinda have what I’ve been wanting as far as a friendship? The ISSUE HERE is that I still only really think about him. A(redacted) is... Im not sure if saying rebound or distraction is rude. I think I needed that one guy to try to get over T with but...... He doesn’t measure up as far as giving me attention and now I’m seeing that that’s an issue. So if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Your partner isn’t going to have 100% of the qualities that you want in someone or that you imagine them having. You cannot mold a person into your perfect vision of someone. I am not saying that I don’t have standards, because I do. But sometimes you have to just own up to your own shit too. I have to meet people where they are and work towards goal. In my head, though,  I did and I tried and it wasn’t processing. So I’m just confused as to why this is still an issue. I wonder if I should talk to someone professionally about it or if I should talk to T about it?? Probably not a good idea. Idk also I feel like he’s done with he BS ever since he turned 27 lmao like he’s #doneeezo.
2. Me thinking he wasn’t over the relationship: He deserves someone that doesn’t change their mind as much as me. I wish I could explain it. I wish I could show him that I really love and loved him and I wish he could be me and be in my head for a day to understand how conflicting it is. I was happy with T. We can literally talk 24/7. The feeling I feel like we both had so early on, I genuinely feel like I won’t feel that again. I know, maybe I am being dramatic. But it felt like a moooovviiee, like, starting a job and catching glances as your version of flirting and then building a slow sexual bond like it wasn't too fast but we got close quickly in terms of talking and chatting all day every day. It’s just... Hard to come by. 
Usually here I would say “anyways”.... But I really want to overcome this and stop being so emo about it. I think I’ll continue to come back to this post to edit and update....
8.24.20
so much going on en mi cabeza. 
one: im selfish as FUCK. to me sulking over us being over is... incredibly rude, if we’re being honest? it’s selfish to not let you go after I broke up with you, after I was on and off, after I didn't know what I wanted.
two: I can't stop thinking about “well what if I made the wrong decision” but also stuck between the fact that I need to trust myself and there were reasons for me breaking up with T. I just think maybe an honest conversation could have prevented it? maybe? I mean I dont know. I hope the new girl is the girl of his dreams :( actually I dont hope that fr like if im being honest, I wanted to continue to be his dream girl but that goes back to the first point, that im being selfish. how can I beg someone to love me but I cant decide on what I want for our future? abso-insane. but I do hope that one that I can be honest when I say “I hope he finds the girl of his dreams” but right now? right now im sad that it isn't me. its like you’re someones muse and then one day, you just aren't. its weird and its saddening.
three: im learning about myself at the same time. im learning so maybe trust my decisions or to not go back on them? maybe I should rely on my own judgment instead of questioning and then getting other people opinion’s involved?
four: the thing is,,,, (hey siri play Drink You Away by JT.) lmfao I feel like I cant distract myself. I dont drink a lot but if I do, I think about texting you but I know its not right. I haven't been smoking but when I do, I think about you because you didn't like it. I tried to date someone else and I still thought about you. I mean, what if I made the wrong decision about Alex, too? I think I just dont like hurting people’s feelings but hey, I didn't feel wanted or pursued fr so what's the harm in that? sorry I “gave up on you” but dont make me feel bad about it!
anyways, the whole point is that, Tony, I love and am in love with you. I wish I could apologize for not accepting you 100% how you were and for allowing it to go so long with it being that way. I should have accepted you. And the thing is, I thought I was but I also thought I could change somethings about you, or really I thought I would be the reason you would want to change. And that simply just isn’t how the earth rotates. im tired now, I cant think any more. ill be sad again tomorrow so im sure ill see ya soon, diary.
0 notes
ellynxcos · 7 years
Note
ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS FOR THE ASK MEME. ALL OF THEM. Or just 90-100, you know, whichever you prefer ;P
SCREECHES SUMMER WYD 
but nah that’s fine like I said I am b o r e d
1: is there a boy/girl in your life?
Yes cries a lovely wonderful girl let me die
2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
UH lol idk it depends on the day? Some days I feel really petty about it and other days I don’t care so much.
3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
my mind says ‘cats’ but my twitter feed says ‘nyah’ and i cry. that and :3c which like. is all Fox so i blame you
4: what’s something you really want right now?
5: are you afraid of falling in love?
 LOL NAH FAM
6: do you like the beach?
yes!! I love the beach, specifically east coast beaches because the water is actually warm enough to swim in 
7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
no but i wouldn’t mind it if it were a significant other. like idk why but i’ve thought about it before, and i don’t mind being that close to ppl i’m dating
8: what’s the background on your cell?
A really generic apple-provided bg because I have too many apps to see the bg anyway rip
9: name the last four beds you were sat on?
this question confuses me. straight up. idk what its asking name the beds????
10: do you like your phone?
yes
11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?
no, but not in a bad way i guess
12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
UH okay I so rarely add numbers to my phone Idk how to answer this lol. Probably someone from work tho. OR NO MY FRIEND SARAH PROBABLY
13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
Rottweiler 
14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
Emotional. 
15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
The zoo! I love animals, fam
16: are you tired?
ALJSDLKJSDF FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE??? NO, NO I AM NOT TIRED
17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?
i mean my first was probably my mom so
18: are they a relative?
my mOM
19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
lol no never the fuck
20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
lmao years. but i. need to chANGE THAT I AM NEEDY AND SAD
21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
yeah, sure
22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no the last person i kissed was a dude
23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
one bracelet and one hair tie
24: is there a certain quote you live by?
not really
25: what’s on your mind?
mostly my gf
26: do you have any tattoos?
just one, i want more
27: what is your favorite color?
oh god don’t ask me this. i like dark shades of almost every color? the only colors I really don’t like are orange and yellow. idk yellow is okay sometimes. i don’t like pastels much
28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
RIP IDK MAN BUT I HOPE SOON???? I JUST. RLLY WANT TO KISS HER
29: who are you texting?
usually my mom, roommate, and gf
30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
no
31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
yeah, i’m sure everyone’s been there a time or two
32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
yes
33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?
i sURE HOPE SO jk jk i know someone does
34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
yeah
35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
....okay???? idc???
36: were you single on valentines day?
nope!
37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?
no
38: what do your friends call you?
Ellie
39: has anyone upset you in the last week?
lmao ya
40: have you ever cried over a text?
lmao ya fam i cry over everything
41: where’s your last bruise located?
shIN. it happened last night OTL
42: what is it from?
so one of my roommate left a cookie sheet on the fuckin stove top (IT’S BEEN THERE FOR FUCKIN D A Y S) and i was trying to get FOOD off the stove and my elbow knocked it and it tumbled to the floor and hit me right in the fuckin shin iM STILL MAD ABOUT IT
43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
lmao probably yesterday lbr
44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?
my mom
45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
not really, i used to tho
46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
lmao no if i’m having a bad hair day y’all are the ones who gotta see it, not me
47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?
no i get too cold with a full head of hair for that shit
48: do you make supper for your family?
no i hate cooking fuckin gOD
49: does your bedroom have a door?
i won’t live in a room that doesn’t have a door
50: top 3 web-pages?
tumblr, twitter, and probably ebay/amazon. or twitch lately
51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?
ya
52: does anything on your body hurt?
my fucKIN SHIN
53: are goodbyes hard for you?
yes
54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
hell if i know
55: how is your hair?
a wreck. it desperately needs to be re-dyed
56: what do you usually do first in the morning?
lay in bed lol
57: do you think two people can last forever?
yes of course
58: think back to january 2007, were you single?
lMAO NO I DON’T GOTTA THINK VERY HARD
59: green or purple grapes?
GREEN
60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?
i don’t know and i hate that i don’t know. i know my family in May but like. hopefully sooner than that 
61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
ye
62: when will be the next time you text someone?
probably like 5 minutes
63: where will you be 5 hours from now?
asleep, hopefully
64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.
woRKIN 
65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?
this time last year i liked the same person i like now ;))))
66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
YE!!! aaaaaaaaa
67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?
no i wISH
68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
‘gee i sure hope this anti depressant doesn’t fuck me up’ along with ‘why are my roommates so loud’
69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
lol ya who hasn’t
70: how many windows are open on your computer?
TOO MANY DON’T ASK ME THIS
71: how many fingers do you have?
10 (fun fact i almost typoed this for 19)
72: what is your ringtone?
my volume is never on i don’t even remember LMAO
73: how old will you be in 5 months?
25, but turning 26 later that month
74: where is your mum right now?
home in Oregon
75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
reasons i’m not willing to air on Tumblr lol
76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
no unfortunately 
77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
ye!!
78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
uh yeah lol how unfortunate
79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?
yes
80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
ye!!! i miss it
81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?
ONE, YO
82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
no
83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?
PROBS
84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
no one b/c i don’t do that shit b/c I’M NOT A HEATHEN
85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?
i mean, it depends on the drug. if it was just pot i wouldn’t have a problem w/ it as long as it didn’t rule her life. harder stuff is a no
86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
nothing really. i didn’t love the movie and i was bored
87: who was your last received call from?
my mom
88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
uh no i don’t think so just reading that made me cringe
89: what is something you wish you had more of?
time and money
90: have you ever trusted someone too much?
yeeeep
91: do you sleep with your window open?
sometimes when it gets hot 
92: do you get along with girls?
lol yes??
93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
ehhhhh she doesn’t need to know
94: does sex mean love?
nah
95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
no it’d just be awkward as hell lol
96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
nope
97: did you sleep alone this week?
sigh yes sadly
98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
yes i DO!!!
99: do you believe in love at first sight?
not really i guess, but like the second i saw this girl i knew she was special
100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?
i don’t remember lmao
2 notes · View notes
justintimbershit · 6 years
Note
1-100
1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?
helllll ya there is for the first time in the history of me answering these questions.
2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
i dont recall the last person who hurt me so probably
3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
a fuckin cat? 
4: What’s something you really want right now?
i want the bf to be home bc i should be sleeping in his bed rn cuddling w him :( 
5: Are you afraid of falling in love?
in some ways yes but in some ways no 
6: Do you like the beach?
nah fuck the beach. i fuckin hate the same and the heat and the grossness of the water and the people and just everything about the beach 
7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
ya i dont know if we've ever slept slept but like, ive cuddled and half napped on the couch w someone else 
8: What’s the background on your cell?
lock screen me and the bf home screen my puppy
9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?
my own, bretts, probs my bed at home, and my bed at my moms
10: Do you like your phone?
ya its decent 
11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
eh thats kinda hard to answer bc i didn't have much planned but i think things may be going better than planned idk
12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
umm.. . idk i need to add new coworkers numbers so it'll be them soon 
13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
rottweiler !!!
14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
i believe emotional bc it fucking sucks and it usually doesn't heal v fast :( 
15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
hm i really like animals but zoos kinda make me sad but animals are so cute ahhh. but i also like art so idk man. both.
16: Are you tired?
always and forever my dude
17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
lmao since the beginning of the school year
18: Are they a relative?
no its my schools emergency service 
19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
i dont have any exes so no 
20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
im texting him rn but i last talked to him face to face yesterday at like 9:30am when he dropped me off :(
21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
HONESTLY idk probs not im in college but i have v strong feelings ya know
22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yes pls always for very many more times 
23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
i have zero. not even a hair tie 
24: Is there a certain quote you live by?
nah not really
25: What’s on your mind?
i miss my boyfriend and i want him to come home and im kind mad bc hes fucked up my sleep schedule so bad bc its only 9pm and i feel dead but i want him home :(
26: Do you have any tattoos?
no but yo quiero 
27: What is your favorite color?
turquoise
28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is in so many days but its fine
29: Who are you texting?
my bf and a couple friends
30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
i have indeed 
31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
yes all the time 
32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
i do. one or two 
33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
i hope my boyfriend does bc hes dating me :/
34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
yes people have which is weird bc i dont 
35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
id be so fucking sad. the very saddest. my heart would actually break. 
36: Were you single on Valentines Day?
technically yes but i was on my first date w my boyfriend so 
37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
we r in a relationship 
38: What do your friends call you?
julie
39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?
yes im like...constantly upset and sometimes its not caused by someone but ya know 
40: Have you ever cried over a text?
lmao oh ya dude
41: Where’s your last bruise located?
i had like 2 or 3 mysterious tiny bruises on my thighs last week idk 
42: What is it from?
no idea tbh
43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
right now. i dont wanna be in my dorm room i wanna be in mY BOYFRIENDS BED
44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
my mother
45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
ya i recently bought a pair of chelsea boots and ive only worn them once but i love them and thats the kinda person i wanna be ya know?
46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
nah i only wear beanies in the winter to keep my head warm
47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
nah my hair is my security blanket
48: Do you make supper for your family?
nah. sometimes i buy brett food from the c-store w a meal swipe if that counts (it doesn't)
49: Does your bedroom have a door?
it does indeed
50: Top 3 web-pages?
twitter, netflix, idk google, or moodle 
51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
i hate shopping depending on the kind of shopping
52: Does anything on your body hurt?
my head and my eyes and my ankle
53: Are goodbyes hard for you?
:( so hard lol :( 
54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
uhhhhhhh idk great question
55: How is your hair?
long and in need of a haircut 
56: What do you usually do first in the morning?
turn my alarm off and check my phone 
57: Do you think two people can last forever?
id like to think so 
58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?
yes bc i was like 9
59: Green or purple grapes?
i like both but probs purple
60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?
yesterday when the bf dropped me off :(
61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
with my BOYFRIEND 
62: When will be the next time you text someone?
whenever i get a text back 
63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?
probs in bed 
64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.
sleeping still i think 
65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
uuhhhh it think pawel idk 
66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
yes i enjoy those ppl very much:)
67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
i hugged molly and jess 
68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
probs something along the lines of “god i fuckin hate my roommate pls shut up”
69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
uuuuuh every minute of my life 
70: How many windows are open on your computer?
so many bc i have a research paper due soon and im doin research 
71: How many fingers do you have?
all 10
72: What is your ringtone?
idk its like the classic telephone 
73: How old will you be in 5 months?
still 19 
74: Where is your Mum right now?
probs at her house but idk 
75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
probs bc i thought i was in love when i was like 9 and thats not how it works 
76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
yesssss !!:)):):)):)):)::)):):)))
77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
for the most part despite not talking as much bc college 
78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
uuuuuuuuhh no. who tf do i look like
79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?
yes multiple ppl 
80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
yeee me gusta
81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?
one 
82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
lol ya 
83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
i was but he already went to sleep :(
84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
probs lex or julia
85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
nah boi lets do drugs together. only the weeds tho. 
86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
um im pretty sure it was a first date and it wasn't all that great but that boy introduced me and my current bf so worth it 
87: Who was your last received call from?
my mommmmma 
88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
honestly probs :(
89: What is something you wish you had more of?
happiness and money
90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?
yes it sucks
91: Do you sleep with your window open?
depends on the weather
92: Do you get along with girls?
i do indeed
93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
eh i dont really think so 
94: Does sex mean love?
nope 
95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
not at all 
96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
no
97: Did you sleep alone this week?
sometimes but not all the time
98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
yeeees:):)))
99: Do you believe in love at first sight?
uuuh idk man maybe 
100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?
my boyfriendddddd
0 notes
mousepatrol · 7 years
Text
8.28.17
Yooo
Ok so today wasn’t so bad. I still don’t have internet btw, which is jjust so cool ofc… I woke up at 730 and chilled in bed for a lil b4 I got up and got dressed and got all ready for school. Catherine had to drive me bc my car was in the shop so we left at like 810 and got there around 830ish and we parked at horsebarn hill, which they added more commuter parking to! Yay! My class was in hicks so it was right there and then I had INTERNET! So I posted my replies yaaaaaaaaaay!
The first class I had was wetlands ecology and the guy doesn’t talk very loud but honestly he was kinda funny and seemed like a nice dude so I think its gonna be good and not too hard. We did an activity and for part of it you had to find someone who had been to minesota, and when we finished he called on me bc I had been there. It was weird, he asked weird questions that I couldn’t answer like which suburb was my family from??? And I had no clue… I just said we go to st paul. I guess he did his degree there so he thought I knew shit but im from cali baby sorry
Next class was in the basement of ITE so I had to RUN omg. Its already hard enough to go downhill from there to hicks, and going up sucked. But the second class was intimate relationships and OH BOY im excited for this class! The teacher sounds gay first of all which is cool even if hes not gay, and its about all SORTS off interesting things that I kinda just think I should know about. He specifically noted that hes going to try to be inclusive and we are going to talk about non hetero things which is GREAt. I drafted an email to send when im on campus tomorrow with questions about honors conversion and his research and stuff so I rly hope he replies
So then I went to the gym and did arms, and MAN my pump was awesome. I could pull 100 on the lat pulldown doing chinup grip and I could only pull like 80 last semester! I felt pumped. It wasn’t so busy bc I went at like 1130 when everyone was eating lunch so it was great yaaaaay! So then I showered and I met my dad so that he could get lunch and I could eat mine, and then I had to run nd get my last HPV vaccine shot and it hurt but I did great hehe and now im ALL DONE. No more fuckin needles for a while thank god. My arm is gonna be sore for like 4 dayss though, so that’s why I did arms today lol
Then we went and got my car and the tires apparently are worn down in weird spots so its kind of a bumpy ride but I mean… I will survive I guess. We also ran to target (altho I was fucking dying I was so tired) and we got a bike. We brought it back and at first I was having major issues and it was being shti and I thought it might not be good, but I took it around again and actually I think itll be fine. So hopefully thatll help me get around campus because last year I was fast walking a lot abd honestly like what the fuck. ALSO the buses are fucked up because theres a road closure and basically you cant get anywhere so I wanted a bike to jst be able to go fast. Its in my trunk and im gonna use it tomorrow… wish me luck
I came home and my dad eventually left and he gave me a card that had 140$ in it omg thank god I can actually pay for groceries while I wait for paychecks for a month. I took a shift Wednesday n ight with Meagan so things should get moving in that respect, I hope. Aw shit I GOTTA remember to bring my work clothes on Wednesday then, wow. I should have time to change and stuff. Ill also need two meals… ill figure it out I guess uhh
Btw I was so annoyed bc I cried a little when my dad left because I feel so bad that HE feels sad about leaving and it just makes me feel shitty… im in this weird limbo where like… he is still mean to me sometimes and he does bad things but its not as bad as it used to be but the past still HAPPENED sso I mean? Im not forgiving him and I cant ever feel comfortable around him and I just. I guess I feel like I should never feel sad abt it and im really not I just. Idk. Im not really sure rn.
Made some food and chatted with Catherine a bit, almost burnt my nachos but I saved them. The broiler is quite hot here. Then I excused myself at like 930 because omg I needed to fucking write like, im gonna get nothing done if I just get stuck talking to Catherine for hours every night. But tomorrow im coming home at like 330 and she wont be here for 2 hrs after that so hopefully I can chill and maybe make rice then and get a head start on things… that would be good. I have to do some reading for both of my classes so far but im not good at reading during the week, I might see if I can wait and read it/catch up/read ahead on the weekend when I have more time. Catherine will also be gne then and it’s a 3 day weekend so I think thatll work out well honestly
Well I gotta go to bed now I have a class at 930 and I gotta go early to work out this bike so bye
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Hello stranger...
It’s been a while since I wrote in here. At the moment I’m training myself to stay awake for these upcoming night shifts and I thought what better use of my time than to write a long post on here for you. 
I have a lot to apologise for. 
Even though we have skyped quite a lot today, i still feel guilty and ashamed of myself. For the past 1-2 months I really haven't been a good boyfriend to you. I’m expecting you to read this and just nod and nod and go “fucking hell finally he realises” and hopefully forgive me after. You have been having a very tough time recently and your mental health hasn't been great and teaching has been hard and you’ve been overworked and tired and what did you need? some support and someone to tell you everything will be okay and someone to listen to all your worries and concerns. I do not feel like I have been that person. I think I have been selfish recently and, since finding out I'm not here after easter, have put in more effort with my house than i have with you. i didn't always make time to FT you and i overreacted (or under reacted) to things, I dismissed things, I told you not to worry about things when they were blatantly worrying you, i wasn't there for you. Nothing will make that okay and trust me i am beside myself with anger and I'm so ashamed of myself and to think that I've hurt you by not supporting you really kills me inside. I have not been the person I usually am and i honestly cannot feel more apologetic than i do right now. 
A week ago (last wednesday?), we had a rather large argument about sex etc and it got pretty out of hand to the point where we didn't seem like we would properly make it through. I was so stupid to say some of the things i did. I must have just been too worked up about it because at the end of the day i really actually don't care. If you ask me whats more important; shagging all the time or having someone to talk to, hug, kiss, lounge around in bed with, go to the cinema with, go to a museum with, go travelling with, FaceTime for hours - you know which Id choose. We are going to prague very very soon and if i can ask one thing of you it is this - DO NOT WORRY about sex. Please. I know that is so much easier said than done but i couldn't care less. In prague what i want is a lovely relaxed time with you where you don't have to tread on eggshells or worry about what will happen later, i want to live purely in the moment with you. i hate myself that I've inadvertently subjected you to this sort of pressure and its not fair at all - its not right. I will say it now, i do not expect ANYTHING from you in prague. What i’m really craving now, and have been always, is affection. I want hugs from behind, cuddles at random moments, random kisses on the cheeks, makeouts, bum squeezes, long hugs. thats what i want. i want you to know that ever since that argument i have felt so incredibly guilty. we say we are all good over Skype but at the back of my mind I'm still feeling horrible for that argument and i think its the elephant in the room - this may not be the actual case but in my mind I'm convinced that its still causing problems and I'm worried for how you feel towards me. So please, please, please, do not worry one single bit. If you kiss me before you go to bed and kiss me when you wake up, that is good enough for me - believe me when i say that. 
Ive been reading your diary all evening and yeah I've shed quite a few tears. I have not appreciated you the way i should have over the past few months. Fuck me i am the luckiest man alive to have you as my girlfriend. you mean the world to me and i am so so in love with you i cannot imagine not being with you. i wish more than anything i could take back these recent times and just stop being such a dick. I was the biggest fool ever to let us grow slightly apart but please understand i will do everything i can to help us get back together properly. I don't feel like you’re 100% there at the moment, you’re not as affectionate over ft or over text even at the moment and in my mind I'm putting that down to you still getting over how I've treated you and maybe subconsciously giving me a taste of my own medicine - i may be completely wrong but I'm trying to rationalise it. I wouldn't blame you if you were. I just feel like i really need you to realise how important you are to me. You are my best friend, my confidant, my number one girl and the one person i want to share everything with. there are no excuses for how I've treated you (and i may be blowing it out of proportion idk) but i can tell you now it will never happen again. ever. 
You also commented how you think you’ve changed so much this year. You think youve become a lot more independent and matured a lot - that is absolutely fucking fantastic news to hear and i am so proud of you and i support that fully! I think thats such an important trait to have and such a great skill to learn (particularly before getting into the real world) and i was genuinely so happy to hear that. You may think that now you’re independent you don't need me anymore, and the truth is you don’t. I don't think any healthy relationship relies on “needing” the other, i think a healthy relationship is two people doing what they do and enjoying their life independently but wanting to share experiences or spend time with someone else too. I think in that sense our relationship can grow so much stronger because we can do our own thing and not get insecure or anything but we can still want to spend time together if you know what i mean, i hope you feel the same way! But i am so proud of you.
Also, about the head shaving business - go for it. I was drunk and i think i overreacted to it and in the cold light of day, i think its important you know that i will support you in whatever you do. Whatever happens you are still the same person i fell in love with and nothing will change that. Im sorry for making you feel bad about it and i want you to do what makes you happy, thats all i want! For you to be happy. So yeah, fucking go for it! I’ll still kiss it, you may have to get used to me rubbing it all over tho lol.  
I am and always will be 100% committed to us and i will support you through every high and low time that comes your way, i will be there to ft you when you've had a bad day and to sit through your tears and maybe cheer you up with a song if you're feeling it. i’ll be there to listen to your achievements and encourage you with all your bravery and independence. If you want me to be, i will be. 
I love you so much sweetheart, i really really do and its not long until we see eachother again, its not long until we see eachother after that and then its really not long until we go back to living 20 minutes away from each other. imagine those evenings where its like 6.30pm and I've just finished dinner and so have you and I'm just like “shall i come round?” and within 30 mins ill be at your house and we could watch an episode of OITNB and then i can go back home and it'll be that simple. Next year we will both need so much support and so much care - its going to be so stressful but together I'm sure we can fucking smash it. 
you are the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, i hope you realise that and i hope its not too late for me to make amends and remind you of how great we can be together. u da greatest <3
PS: if this is all getting repetitive (i know I've sort of mentioned it a bit over ft) then pls tell me to stop flogging a dead horse and to shut up. I just thought you may appreciate a proper, thought out, from the heart apology :3
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