#or do like. a LOT of artists not care about legal risks lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

G I R L

I just saw y the HYBE x Ithaca Holdings video and it really hit me with some realisations. HYBE partnering with them is bound to change some things in a huge way. Collabs and economics notwithstanding, Ithaca is home to NUMEROUS big name artists. I want to focus on the fact that: (1) Beiber is a heavily tattooed dude, I wonder if this fact will give some leeway for Kook to be a bit more free with his existing tatts or allow him to continue getting more. (2) Demi is an openly queer woman. This, along with how open Ithaca’s artists are with their support for the LGBTQ+ community, makes me wonder how it will influence HYBE artists who might be queer themselves (looking at Jikook 👀). I fully know that culturally Korea is its own thing and HYBE its own entity, but I think this might open up some doors for our boys both musically speaking as well as regarding their own selves. Dearest Goldy of mine, what do you think?

Hmmmmmmm

That's an interesting question.

I do agree that this provides a huge economic opportunity for BTS as a group and as investors in Hybe and for frankly anyone within Hybe labels- there's a lot of talents who would kill to be part of this company now. I just know it.

Hell I wanna be part of Hybe and I can't even sang. Lmho.

Cute, if you think I can dance. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

BigHit just got cooler you know.

But I think you are basically asking if this new acquisition will in effect impact the lifestyle of BTS, specifically Jikook as queer people in any way?

I'd say no- especially on the issue of tattoos. But I might be wrong. I just think it takes more than a business merger to undo a person's lifestlye and or socialization or even influence it.

Unless of course, this merger guarantees them certain universal rights and protections outside their culture and political system I don't see how it's to profit them as queer people in any major way.

Whatever impact I'd say is rather intangible.

If you know what I mean.

I've said a few times now how BTS by virtue of their presence in the international community, in my opinion, are socialized and are expected to be socialized a tad differently from the average regular conservative or even liberal S. Korean person with no external influences whatsoever on their socializations.

Your socialization informs your lifestyle.

Justin, Troye, RM and other artists have undoubtedly had and perhaps continue to have an influence on Jk musically and lifestyle wise, to some extent, but he has his own unique values and beliefs and morals that has been acquired and instilled in him through the years independent of these influences.

He is his own person afterall.

Plus did you see the arm sleeve on the director of the MV for Home? He is surrounded at the work place with people that are tatted too. It can't be just Justin B.

He saw a girl with tattoos and said that was something he'd love to have one day when he got of age and he got it- in spite of Suga's objection. He's always expressed interests in tattoos and wanting to become a tattoo artist.

He got these tattoos in spite of the inconveniences they pose to his expressions of self within his career and society- as tattoos are still pretty much stigmatized in S.K and aren't legally allowed on certain broadcasts within S. Korea. And he continues to add on them, draw over them etc way before this merger came into existence.

If he decides that's what he wants he will get them but it wouldn't be because Justin Bieber is heavily tatted or because his company expanded.

I'm not sure what you mean by leeway, but in a recent Run episode (the one with the famous chef) we saw his full arm out and I think that was the first time we had seen his tats on full display on run.

Contrastingly, he had his whole arm bandaged in the Let's BTS interview on KBS.

He covers his tattoos most times because of broadcast rules that prohibits (regulates) not just tattoos but alcohol consumption, cussing, nudity etc on public television that require specific ratings.

Merger or not he will still have to adhere to the laws of South Korea, including entertainment and media broadcasting laws and hide his tattoos as and where.

On the topic of queerness, I think now more than ever BTS would have to become socially, racially and culturally conscious and aware the instant this deal is concluded in May.

Ithaca has one of the most diversified group of artists under its belt- from Quavo who is black to Demi who is queer like you pointed out.

Now more than ever they are at the center of the global conversations we are having in our generation- from racism, to LBGTQ plus marginalizations, to all oppressions of minorities and minority groups.

And with that proximity comes a need to keep themselves in check now more so than ever- which include a check on the cultural appropriation bit, the queer baiting, drawing on queer aesthetics in their 'fan service' culture and other problematic issues that is characteristic of KPop.

What they do now matters more than ever- socially speaking of course.

When Jin started eating a lollipop JM gave him provocatively, JM asked him not to do that on camera but to reserve things like that for the group off camera.

If 'gay' is not gay but their 'culture' I think they know better to keep it to themselves off camera and act 'right' on camera- especially now.

I'm not about to stan a group that capitalizes on the trauma and oppression of me and my people in the name of entertainment. That's just tacky.

On the plus, I think it's great that they be surrounded by other queer folks in the business and be part of a community that welcomes and support queerness so they don't feel like they are the only ones.

That's not to say they aren't surrounded by queer people in their dialy lives.

I mean they have a large staff and I know damn well some of those staffers are queer as well- why wouldn't they be. Lol.

They've always had that 'supportive' environment to foster their relationship- well except for that one time a manager tried to bitch slap JK. Lol. Sorry.

It's not funny at all. Serious face.

They've always been free and loose in places outside Korea- Japan for one, to be themselves in certain 'controlled" areas of their lives.

I think if anything there's gonna be a focus on creating conducive and inclusive work environments and ethics for everyone not just queer people within the company at large.

I think Jikook can relate more, have certain essential conversations in the group, be exposed to and be part of the 'community' in a way that just felt so distant to them prior to the acquisition- in my opinion.

There is strength in numbers after all. Other than that those two companies might operate like night and day with a few eclipses in between.

The bigger question for me is how SK is going to react to Hybe as an international company from now on. No elite Korean company has openly admitted queer artists within their label. Such revelations presumably is bound to impact their social and economic standing...

Seems in acquiring Ithaca though Hybe have circumvented the conservative problem within Kpop and their culture as they have acquired openly queer artists.

Not that they care about an artist's sexuality. Bang have made it perfectly clear he prioritizes a person's talent over their sexual preference and thus hire artists based on their skills regardless of their sexuality.

But that is also not to say that the company wouldn't be met with harsh criticisms and suffer economic loss should they openly admit the sexuality of certain artists they work with.

I mean he did advise Jo Kwan on the risks he would be taking in going in the direction he wanted to go in with his heels schtick. So he is aware of the risks involved in going public with an artist's sexual orientation.

He talked about Korean companies playing it safe and not taking certain risks especially when it comes to deeds that are deemed 'rebellious' against the Korean conservative way.

-Watch and learn people, if you can't hire openly gay talents acquire their company. Problem solved. Lol.

From May, Hybe will technically officially become the first elite Korean company with openly queer artists under its labels that openly touches on and advocates for LGBTQ plus rights.

I'm waiting for Pride month with a cup of tea. Mu haha ha.

BTS has performed with queer artists in the past, dabbled in LGBTQ plus conversations which was mostly met with mixed reactions from the general public- some oblivious to who these artists were much less that they were queer. (Sis laugh with me. Hehe. If you know you know)

BigHit is gradually evolving the status quo.

It's an interesting development I must say, one I'm very much invested in at this point.

BigHit has always aimed beyond the borders of Korean commercial verse often straddling the line of conservatism, literally just became an international company within South Korea governed by both Korean and American laws that in all essence conflict with eachother morally and constitutionally.

Bang has some heavy balls I'll give him that.

Also, since this is an acquisition and not a merger I doubt if much will change in the structures of either company- the family photoshoots would be interesting to watch.

Imagine trying to get Arianna, Justin, BTS, TXT in one large studio for a photoshoot. I'm literally cackling. Lmho.

Scooter Braun will become part of the board of Hybe to manage the company and he is part owner of Hybe along with Justin, Ariana and BTS who also have shares in the company- until they decide to sell their shares that is.

That's about it.

I'm not sure how these Asian haters are gonna respond to an Asian company taking over 'America.' That's something to watch out for.

Then there's this whole issue of 'scandals' and both campanies view on it.

Western companies feed off chaos and drama and scandals, Kpop is the exact opposite.

Most of these Artists under Ithaca have had some pretty bad records and are prone to scandals and stuff like that. In case of an inevitable future scandal, the news would read 'BTS's so so and so.'

They are gonna make it all about BTS.

I mean when BigHit went public with their IPO and it went south it was all about BTS' 'failed IPO' in the news rather than the company it's self.

I have mixed feelings about this acquisition.

It's obvious BigHit is saving Justin Bieber's label. You don't sell unless you are in some huge financial decline blah blah.

Hybe is keeping them in business while building their own portfolio in the industry. BTS may not have a Grammy but Hybe has several artists with Grammys under it's belt now. Smirk.

The success of Justin, Ariana and all these artists are the success of Hybe which together with the powerhouse that is BTS gives Hybe more prestige- it's like watching the game of thrones but this time it's a bunch of nerds with chapsticks and Prada. Lmho.

At least now people will think twice before they peddle the 'they are not gay, it's their culture' nonsense.

Not sure if this answers your question?

I purple you💜💜💜💜💜

Signed,

GOLDY

47 notes · View notes

iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 2 years

Text

@girlfaglogan OKAY i MEANT to respond to all ur comments as u made them, but then brain said no, so. i am now going to respond to all of ur tag comments from the Lore Infodumping session i have been holding the last few days at once, instead of rbing each individual post and flooding everyone’s dashes. i think i did not miss any, but if i did i apologize lol. here we go (again under a cut bc Long):

#ALSO!! REMUS WHY WOULD U FLIRT W SHAPESHIFTED JANUS WHY NOT JUST. SAY JANUS#remus i understand ur logic (not rlly) but literally evedything couldv been avoided if u were just normal /t (remus)

[post] hehehe ur correct, remus did 100% create this problem unecessarily. however from his own pov in that very specific situation it made sense. bc 1) remus has v strong adhd, so he kept forgetting to ask janus about this, and then remembered Suddenly in the scene where the miscommunication happened and was like “well i am going to do this Now while i still have the Thought in my brain.” 2) remus is extreeeemely sensitive to potential dangers in any situation featuring interpersonal dynamics, bc of his backstory that i am not talking about hehe. so, there being another superhero in the room while janus was shapeshifted registered as a Potential Danger to remus. and when he registers potential dangers like that, he is 100% committed to helping with any kinds of deception that could be protecting someone’s personal safety. so, while trying to check if it was janus or not before he forgot again, remus was also working with the assumption that it was possible janus Didn’t want the other superhero in the room to know who they were, and was like “okay, i need to not risk spilling that for them, just in case.”

so the combination of those two things is why he did the flirting thing instead of just asking. in most other situations he would have asked, but he just kept Not Thinking Of It in those other situations. it was essentially bad luck lol.

#LOGAN HAS MET PATTON. ok well then u have 2 write a scene where hes baby sitting patton.#legally . just 4 me ! /j#theyre such a family im gonna start crying

YEAH hard agree. every comment you made abt the janus & logan & patton family situation is so important and correct. they r precious and they all care abt each other sm.

#I DIDNT GET A NOTIF 4 THIS NOOOO#anyway#uhm. i have lots of things 2 say idk where 2 start#1. listening 2 music isnt 2 hard i promise !#i use spotify so it has like a uhm. discover weekly playlist that updates every monday and has a playlist of songs#based on what u usually listen 2#i also listen 2 a lot of friends recs 4 songs! so when i want a new song ill ask 1 of my friends#or mutuals 'hey do u have a song rec 4 me?" and usually they do!#if u ever need dif music 2 listen 2 plz let me know bcuz i LOVEE music and i love finding new music n genres so i am bound 2 have something#u like#i also look 4 music based on genre / subculture#ex i am punk so i look 4 punk music. i am emo so i look 4 emo music. i have friends who r goth n they look 4 goth music#i like harsh noise (the genre) so i look 4 harsh noise#if u want 2 find new music u shoukd look up different genres n pick 1 and just... type it in2 utube.#u can also branch out from ur fave artists & find what sounds like them.#sorry 4 rambling si long abt. how 2 find music help NDHSKDNSJDN#2. RHYTHMIC NOISES 4 LOGAN IS SO TRUE#i totally think he likes experimental music like harsh noise and electronica#and splittercore and speedcore and and. i could go on and on abt logans music tastes i rlly think he liks NOISES!!#ur so right...#3. fun fact: u dont have 2 put logsn thru that#i mean like. ableism towards autistic ppl exist yes but also u can just.... not include it in ur story.. no1 is forcing u 2 put it in#4. i 100% get janus .#was goinf 2 add more but i 4got wverything help#if you're going my way fic

[post]

1) you are literally so sweet thank you for all the advice aaa!! tis very helpful thank u.

2) i am going to look up all of those next time i remember to, but yessss i am glad u agree.

3) that is a good point!!!!!! i thought abt it some more after u said that, and i realized the Actual Problem i was worried about was a) allistic readers making the savant stereotype connection in their heads if i said logan was autistic, and b) autistic readers who don’t know me being concerned that *i* was doing that stereoptype on purpose. so that was the actual problem i was trying to solve. but it occurs to me i could just make a really passive aggressive author’s note about it on any of the relevant chapters instead lol, and that would be much less stressful to write. so i will probably do that instead. yay!!!!

4) im so glad u get that, because i literally had No Idea how to put my point into words there, so im delighted that i seem to have succeeded lol.

#i have many good questions cuz itz called i am autistic n this story is a hyperfixation. i think abt it a lot#constantly#do u know how AWESOME it was 2 come up w/ theories w/ my friends abt janus n going 'what is they had a teen pregancy?"#AND THEN BEING /RIGHT?/#best feeling in the world.#ANYWAY my brain stopped working but all of this is so ciol#so like.#if u have a uterus and ur on ur period u cant... shapeshift 2 make it go away or. can u? im still a little confused#id love 2 know how thatd work . id love 2 know how shapeshifting would work in GENERAL like irl.#NOT THE POINT BUT GESTURES VAGUELY#im just curious cuz like... where does it go#if ur having a period and then u shapeshift. so u rnt having a period. where does... where does it go#how does it. go away like.#HELP IDK HOW 2 EXPLAIN BUT IM JUST. .... its COOL i love thinking abt shapeshifting#also giggling at janus stabbing thingsbcuz hes angry#i think janus should stab ppl rolls eyes. LOGAN !!! LET HER KILL !!!!#if you're going my way fic

[post]

skhksdhklsjfgks 1) yes excellent explanation 2) SAME tho. i think abt this story So much. it’s great. (also. people theorizing about my fics??? is such a wild concept to me????? thats so cool?????)

more clarification about how periods impact shapeshifting powers!! bc i thought abt it more after. so:

shapeshifters cannot stop their period once it has started. they don’t entirely lose their shapeshifting powers, but they do lose some of them. basically, they’re stuck with the same, like, “base” body until the period is over. so they can’t change the height of the body, or the fact that it’s having a period, or its bone structure, or things like its digestive or nervous systems, or things like that—anything the body needs to maintain to run. they can change things like hair, eye color, fat and muscle distribution (to some degree), and so on—anything that’s not integral to the body running. shapeshifting those things is also harder than it would usually be, it takes more concentration and energy. and then once the period is over their powers go back to normal.

for how shapeshifting generally works: the shapeshifter essentially just. imagines the thing they want to shapeshift into. and then they turn into it. they do have to like, make it happen after they imagine the shape they want? like. their brain is making a command for their body to do the thing. kind of like,, intentionally blinking. it feels like that. and then the actual shapeshift happens very fast, like maybe 1-2 seconds for the whole thing. it’s usually pretty easy and doesn’t take much energy, the main exception being if they are shifting to have non-human features (like gills wings etc) or appearances (like making themself be, like, stretched-out-mike-teavee-from-charlie-and-the-chocolate-factory shape). non-human shapeshifts like those do take some extra energy to do, kind of like pushing through a barrier, and the time it takes increases to like 3-5 seconds. also healing by regenerating cells takes more energy and time too. but aside from those cases, and the period case i talked abt in the last paragraph, shapeshifting does not take a noticeable amount of energy. again like blinking. also, shapeshifters can unintentionally shapeshift in their sleep, specifically while they are dreaming. that’s more common for some and less common for others, almost like how sleepwalking is a thing for some people and not for others.

ALSO janus stabbing things is especially funny bc. it doesn’t go with their powers. and it gives them 0 advantage over their nemesis. so there’s literally no reason for them to do it, they just like stabbing things. like, viper (his nemesis) has laser powers. stabbing helps, like, 0% with fighting lasers. janus has like some mirror weapon tool things for when they actually fight viper. and viper now wears protective armor built into her suit’s stomach and chest, and has bracers on her arms. to protect from janus’s illogical stabbing habits. it’s rlly funny.

also, unrelated, but since im talking about viper: she’s a lesbian, and janus is only into men, which both of them are very happy about, because (although janus’s genderfluidity sometimes does make this a tiiiiny bit wobbly, that’s not mostly a problem) it allows them to have all the inherent gay tension of a super nemesis relationship without ever having to worry about actual attraction or feelings getting involved. they’ve literally had whole conversations about this while fighting, and they actually are pretty friendly with each other despite being nemeses. they platonically flirt while trying really hard to beat each other up. they Have given each other relationship advice while fighting before. they have literally so much fun. i love them. im going to see if i can find an excuse to write one of their fights sometimes. it’ll be delightful.

#WHY R U MEAN 2 JANUS PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE... /T /NM#also why doesnt janus want virgil 2 meet patton :(#if you're going my way fic#im so tired rn but this is all very cool

>:) but it’s rlly fun to be mean to them lol

part of the answer to the virgil and janus and patton question is spoilers, but also even aside from that bit. janus is a superhero. janus is very protective of their baby. janus does not want the biggest supervillain in the city to ever ever ever interact with their baby for any reason. that’s all the explanation im sharing for now, but there are more specific reasons too.

also i hope u have the opportunity to be well rested soon!!

#I AM EATING RN I CANT TYPE A LOT BUT YAYYy#lovw them lots#so ur ONLY mean 2 janus. giving logan n virgil loving parents but not him.... i see how it is... /j /nm NSHSJDND#if you're going my way fic

no no no no no, im not ONLY mean to janus!!! /lh i have also been Horrifically mean to remus!!!! :) i just haven’t talked about that yet, i’m keeping that a secret until after the next remus pov scene in the fic. after that i will be Happy to talk about it as much as ppl would like me to. but yeah, janus’s trauma does not even hold a candle to remus’s!! :D

#peregrin said a thing #if you're going my way i'll go with you #ghasper tag!!#iygmw lore

6 notes · View notes

bisexualhobi · 3 years

Note

adding to the bts and their recent releases discourse— am I allowed to say that i am disappointed in my faves because they aren’t taking the risks? Like you mentioned — they’re in a position where their fans (us) will eat up anything they put out so why not be bold? it almost makes me feel … Idk how to explain it. It’s not like they’ve stopped caring because mono, d-2 are such wonderful pieces of art. It’s disappointing to me that they’re (and by they i mean, the artist and it’s management) are chasing the charts to such an extent. I’m kind of over the English releases solely for Grammy purposes. What’s a Grammy going to even prove??? Butter and Dynamite are fun songs but by no means will I reach for them as my favorite BTS songs. And then to of course use the “we wanna reach our international fans that’s why we did this song in English” rhetoric also disappointed me, because we all know that’s not why they dropped dynamite lol. But again… what could they have even said that would’ve been “politically correct” in that situation?

I adored BTS for standing tall, for always marking their own space wherever they went. A song would come on and people would be like “ah yes that’s bangtan” but lately it feels like some of that has been lost along the way along this mission to take over the American industry and then I wonder: do BTS really have no say in what their management does? That can’t be because then every rhetoric they’ve put out about being open with their company and decisions would be false. So BTS themselves want this, which is fine I guess… but it’s just not something I can align myself with.

Anyway, I love BTS, I’ve grown up with them and I’ve watched them grow and I want nothing but the best for them. They seem like good people too. But a part of me is actually quite disappointed with this direction and I’m also disappointed in the fans for defending it so blindly. Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with all their actions and that you shouldn’t criticize where criticisms are due. Too many stans these days see one tiny criticism and start calling you an anti. (This got long im sorry I usually am on stan twt where voicing such opinions is a sure fire way to get suspended)

kpop idols have very little agency to dictate their careers, it doesn't matter what they tell you. it doesn't matter who they are. shinee are owners of sm shares the same way as bts and yet kibum has never been shy to comment on how they're barely able to do whatever they want with creative freedom. ofc contracts vary and saying this is not the same as saying bts are puppets completely controlled by hybe,,, but they have contractual obligations and they can't walk out on them. that includes releasing content they don't agree with on a personal level.

i think hybe benefits a lot from the "bts are independent and do whatever they want" narrative the same way they benefit from the self produced narrative and the underdog narrative. that's why they will keep pedaling it and it's not like the boys are allowed to just say whatever is happening is against their will. that will never happen. ever. both because of legal reasons and also because i truly believe that bts are thankful and loyal to hybe. it's a matter of opportunity costs. will they be better off in another label or will they stay in the label that made them and create opportunities for themselves as the years go by? i would choose the latter.

i'm disappointed by a lot of things they do the same way i'm disappointed in my other idols. but as you say, i still love them and that doesn't mean i have to agree with everything they do. also don't worry, i'm glad there are twt fans that feel the same way because everyday i get messages from twt armys that are scared to voice their opinions in there. this is a no judgement zone so you're welcome <3

#asks #long post//#dramatw

13 notes · View notes

graffitibible · 4 years

Note

Do you have any advice for writing or creating regularly? That’s hard for me and I’d like to get better at it.

it boils down to what works best for you personally tbh. i’ve got a system to write semi-regularly (or i did......restricted movement hours have kinda forced me to restructure that lol) and it works for me but that’s just how my brainyot works. i’m a routine-based creature so working writing into my routine was how i got myself to write semi-regularly.

ive also had significant Brain Junk for most of my life and was gradually able to navigate how best to create in spite of that but im also like, medicated for it and the like so self-care was a factor. i couldnt create shit while i was too busy lying in a pool of my own filth having fits of paranoia about the nature of reality so i was hardly about to make myself try and create stuff when that wasnt even on my radar.

i can share some of the things i do to keep myself writing though! like again this isn’t something that’s for sure gonna work for everybody cause everybodys wired differently but i hope some of it helps!

1. daily wordcount - i’ve mentioned this before but i have a daily wordcount that i do for my original fiction. i don’t apply the same standard to fic-writing because that risks making it an arbitrary barrier that puts too many numbers on my internal list. that being said, it’s very small. i make myself do 200 words per day. if that gets me going and writing more than that, awesome. if not, i still got a little bit done. 200 words is small, and it’s not overwhelming to catch up on if i miss a day. no matter how shitty im feeling i try to get in 200 words.

2. routine - since i’m a routine-based person by nature i basically found ways to finagle creative processes into all that. it’s not hard and fast because that kind of rigid structure makes me balk and i’m not that disciplined lol, but it’s usually something like “i have an hour-long lunch break at work and literally nothing else to do during it so i’ll write in that time period” or “i have thirty minutes of sitting by the stove making dinner so i’ll write until it’s ready”

3. momentum - or what my housemate fondly calls “The Juice.” if i have The Juice of inspiration i keep that going for as long as i can. if something’s not working for me i don’t scrap it or toss it right away. if i’m having trouble with a scene i make a note to myself and move on to a different one. example of this from my latest wip, which is part iv of mayhem

i hadnt worked out what was gonna go there and nothing was coming to me easy in the moment so i stuck the note there and kept going. my works are full of this shit. if i can’t think of a name or if there’s a statistic or a character i haven’t worked out yet i don’t wanna break my focus and momentum so i slap a note in the first draft and keep going. at a first draft stage the important thing is getting the words Out so it doesnt matter if theyre perfect. ill go back and fix them later, revise all i need to. first drafts dont need to be good, they just need to be there so i can spruce them up later.

on the flip side do not be like me and commit to this momentum so bad that you forget that you are a human being who needs to eat and consume liquids. i do that sometimes because of who i am as a person and it is a serious flaw of mine, do not be like this. sometimes getting some food in you is what you need to get The Juice flowing again and that sounds kinda gross and i am sorry

4. planning and hangups - this ones dependent on how you create. i forget where this analogy came from, but i’ve heard it said that some writers are architects who need a blueprint of where they’re going before they end up there and some writers are gardeners, who don’t need a set plan so much as they need to keep going. i’m definitely an architect - a lot of my works start out as bulletpoints of what scenes i wanna cover, what topics i wanna explore, etc. - though i have on occasion simply Written without any set destination, usually to force myself out of a creative slump. me being a big planner used to be one of the biggest barriers for me creatively because i’d spend hours agonizing over minute universe details and never start the dang story. this still happens from time to time. like heres what my organizational folder looks like wrt “pray for disaster”

that is not even all the files in there. why do i have two dictionaries. jesus. like i make these giant ass fuckin....tomes of stuff i like to keep track of, which i like to call “bibles” lol. except i could tell that getting too organized was gonna be an uphill battle with very little payoff so by the end i just made a “MISCELLANEOUS BULLSHIT” doc and for now i throw everything in there if it doesn’t fit into something like a dictionary or timeline

shit like this is why i like to just sit down and write without a clear destination in mind if i’m having writer’s block. that’s one of those things that goes hand in hand with the way i take advantage of my own momentum - if i reach a certain point where i’m just picking at details and not doing any writing i just go “ok motherfucker sit down and write shit. we will work out the details later.”

5. motivation - the ways i tend to motivate myself are weird so idk how true this is for anybody else but i’ve been writing for a pretty large part of my life. i went to college for english/creative writing and got a whole dang degree cause i still wanna make this my vocation somehow. one thing i cannot ever turn off is the writer part of my brain that’s going “oooh huh that’s not how i would’ve written that” in literally every piece of art i consume - tv, movies, books, songs, etc. sometimes that’s enough to inspire me into doing something on my own time. most of the time though if i’m feeling stumped i tend to crack open some of my personal favorite works, like books or fics that have really resonated with me, to fall in love with the art all over again. seeing the way different authors and artists do their craft helps me get in the zone of wanting to write more cause i get this nice feeling of “damn, these people really did those things with those words.....that’s fuckin amazing.....i wanna do that.”

you do risk falling into the trap of “ugh i can’t write like them though” but that’s the beauty of writing. nobody can write the way anybody else does. ofc i can’t write like terry pratchett, only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett, and if i compare myself to terry pratchett i’m only gonna get sad and mopey. but i can write in a way thats totally unique to me so i should not try to write like terry pratchett because that’s just impeding my own creative energy in the interest of trying to cookie-cut myself into someone else’s zone. only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett but only i can write like zero graffitibible.

i hope that was helpful? like this is all stuff that works for me so no guarantee it’ll work for everyone else.

oh right and idk how many of yall are minors because let it be known that i do not condone underage drinking; i am an adult who occasionally will get crunk because i like to write drunk and edit sober. if you too are an adult who can legally consume alcohol feel free to write while buzzed because that is a nice way to write with zero fuckin inhibitions. i dont get blackout drunk or nothing just a little buzzed and sometimes what i write makes no sense but i am at times at my most productive at 2am while mildly buzzed. its a thing.

like again i’m not really an authority on this by any means - this is just what works for me. but if it works for you too, great!! find your zone and all that

#anon #ask #z speaks #alcohol mention cw in case anybodys got that blacklisted #theres nothing as liberating as writing after having consumed 1.5 beers and feeling like a gOD #i say 1.5 but realistically its more like 1 #i am a tiny person who cannot hold their liquor #and beer really is just mulled fartweed but thats all right #creating is pain and pain is living and sometimes that entails drinking mulled fartweed cause itll loosen you up enough to really Write #i dont lean on this too much btw #its just like if i happen to get buzzed ill usually go 'you know what i should totally do. write.'#it is at times incomprehensible

15 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #183

“clothes trailing from the back door to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

Would you ever become a fan of a team you hate to please your spouse? Lol no. Can you handle scary movies? Easily. How often do you get a new purse…and for guys a new wallet? Not often at all. What is the most money that you have ever spent on getting your nails done? This doesn't apply to me, I don't get them done. Once a cheater, always a cheater? No, but I wouldn't date someone who ever did. What word describes your last relationship? Verification, I suppose? I learned I love him just platonically. Do you sneak into movie theaters? No. You can make one person fall eternally in love with you, who do you choose? I don't want to *make* anyone do that. Is there ever a happily ever after? Yeah, but sadly not for everyone. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? Not terribly, but the closet could make me nervous. Do you like guys with beards? It depends on the guy. What annoys you most of the same sex? This isn't generalizing, I think we can all agree girls have a greater tendency to be short in arguments or if we're just in a bad mood. Do you have a fake I.D.? No. Would you ever travel to Africa? I already wanna go. Would you date someone 5 years older than you? Yeah. Does it bother you when girls make duck faces? It doesn't bother me, I just think it looks dumb. Have you ever been fingered? Yeah. Have you ever been to California? Did you like it? Never gone. What do you do the most when you are online? Watch YT, RP, browse dA, surveys... Do you like to dance? If so, what is your favorite move? I do, but there's no way I could survive dance classes in my current shape. Fave move, idk. When was the last time you got a haircut? Few days before going to Sara's in October. I need another. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? YUP. I won't date you if it's any more than very rarely. Honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you? No. what is your favorite font? Of the "normal" ones, Garamond. Would you make a good movie critic? Noooo. I'm not very criticizing of movies, honestly. Do you like deviled eggs? Omfg NO. I fucking abhor egg yolk in any form. What is your favorite Horror movie? Either of the Blair Witch Project movies. What career are you most interested in? Paleontologist. Have you ever seen a rooster? Welcome to the South, buckaroo. What’s your favorite sweetheart name (baby, honey, angel, dumpling) "Love" or "sweetheart." Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes. Have you ever thrown a grenade? No. Have you ever owned a rocking horse? Maybe? Who was the last person you took a picture with? Sara. What’s your favorite kind of float? (coke, root beer) Coke. Have you ever seriously mourned the death of a pet? Like extremely seriously, not really, I think? Shadow was hard, but I don't believe it was too serious. I saw him dying days before it happened. Can you surf/boogie board? No. Medals, ribbons, or trophies? (or just plain cash?) I'll take the money. If any of your friends had really bad body odor, would you tell them? No. Would you ever try anal? If you have, were you always keen to try it? NO NO NO IT GROSSES ME OUT SO MUCH. What age do you want to live until? Maybe like, at least 70. If all jobs paid the same, what would you be doing? Photography. If you heard your best friend’s significant other was cheating on them, would you tell them? Even if you couldn’t prove it? No shit, but I'd be sure to include I only heard it. What is the story behind your pet’s name? Teddy: reminded us of a teddy bear. Bentley: idk. Roman: thought it sounded regal, like cats. Venus: beautiful, her color is similar to the planet. Mitsu: I gave all my rats "m" names. Kaiju: I'd wanted an iguana named after a huge lizard creature forever. What’s something that you once liked, but now hate? Country music. If you were to get engaged, what’s your dream engagement ring? Rose gold something. If you discovered you were pregnant at this point in time, would you keep it or abort it? Why? If out of my own carelessness, I'd keep it but adopt it out. If in any other way, idk. If my life was at risk, yes, and I'd really have to consider if it'd be too traumatic for me with how I feel about pregnancy. What is the last thing you googled? I forgot. Throughout your life, what was your favorite birthday and why? Idk. If everyone was required to make a YouTube channel, what would your content be like? Um... I suppose chill let's plays, no camera? I'd want to hide my identity 'cuz I ain't even risking popularity. How far away do you live from the closest mall? 15-ish minutes? Why do you dislike/hate the person you most dislike/hate? I don't hate anyone I personally know, but I most dislike Colleen for a novel of reason. Are you disrespectful to a lot of people? Definitely not. Do you like the color pink? Pink is everything. On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Haven't in a long time. Doesn’t it annoy you when couples post things to each other’s wall on Facebook that are all mushy and gross and NO ONE CARES? No, fuck off. Let people express love of each other. You SHOULD care to some degree that a couple lives in love. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Black Wedding" by In This Moment ft. Rob Halford. Are you drifting away from your best friend? Absolutely not. Would you feel hurt if your last ex was in a relationship? No, I'd be super happy for him. Are you currently wanting any piercings? Always. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Nooo, bring it on. What language do you want to learn how to speak? German. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. Did you ever watch Lilo & Stitch as a child? I was obsessed. Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No, flew past one to Sara's, though. Do you have light posts on your street? No. How about sidewalks? No. What is one food combination you enjoy that others might think is weird? Waffles/pancakes with peanut butter. How do you tend to feel when the year is ending? Hopeful for new beginnings, dreading the ending, etc? I don't feel anything about it. There's nothing truly special about it. What bad habit have you had the longest? What about a good habit? Picking at my nails; manners. Is there anything you do that you are ashamed of? What about proud? Download music; treat animals with the respect they deserve. What is one compliment you find particularly meaningful? What about an insult you find particularly devastating? Calling me kind; calling me weak or that I'll go nowhere. Have you ever had a lucid dream? Share it, if you wish? No. Do you find sleep paralysis to be scary or not so much? Never experienced it, but it sounds absolutely horrifying. Do you have any truly unpopular opinions? If so, share one? Sure. Hormone treatment is an awful idea. What would you say is your biggest accomplishment from the past year? Uhhhhh. I suppose making big progress stretching past my comfort zone. When was the last time you went through a major life change/event? I think me coming out last year was a pretty big event, especially as it led to an incredible relationship. How many places have you lived throughout your life, and which one was your favorite? Four, and as far as location, #3. Overall happiness in the home, #2. Without saying names, what is something you wish you could say to someone? "Look who was wrong." Do you have any typing quirks, or do you prefer to type ‘properly’? I think I use the wrong shift key for a certain letter... but idk off the top of my head. Who do you judge more harshly - others or yourself? Myself. What is the most difficult thing you have ever had to accept? Jason no longer loved me. What is something you do to help yourself feel better on a bad day? Watch some of my fave YT vids. Who or what in life has taught you the most about love? The breakup. Other than in a plane, what’s the highest elevation you’ve experienced? Have you ever had altitude sickness? Driving on a mountain, and no. If you had all the artistic ability you needed, what kinds of things would you most like to draw? MY OCS. Or just meerkats in general, but with macabre scenes. What’s a song that you’re ashamed to say you like? "Bitches" by Hollywood Undead, for one. Ever had sex in a public place? No. Do you do something about it when your stomach hurts, or just let it be? I take medicine. I handle stomachaches very poorly. Do you ever have binges that last for hours, watching YouTube videos? Um?????? Every day????????????????? Do you believe sex should be mandatory in an ongoing dating relationship? No. How do you feel about smoking weed? I've gotten more and more "whatever" about it, but I'm still not a huge fan of the idea. We already complain about cigs and cancer, why legalize something with more carcinogens? Medicinally tho, I'm for it. What foods can you absolutely not eat? Beans are a big 'ole fuck no. Kisses on the cheek or the neck? Depends on the mood. List four things about your facial appearance: I have a real obvious dimple on my left cheek. I have two prominent scars on my chin from when I fainted directly onto it. My eyes are gray/greenish blue. I've been told a lot I have long eyelashes but I don't wanna get up and go to a mirror to verify. List four things about your general appearance: I have dry skin, mY LEG HAIR IS FUCKING PITCH BLACK AND I HATE IT, the nail on my left ring finger is slightly deformed, and I have really thick hair. It’s getting pretty cold now, isn’t it? Do you have the heating on? Yes. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Kinda hot, normally. What are you favorite color eyes? Sapphire or light blue. Do you have long arm hair? Not really. Does your family put up Christmas lights? Yes. Favorite holiday? Halloween. Any bands you used to like and are now embarrassing to you? Not off the top of my head... but there's probs some. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? Forever ago. Do you care about gun laws? Yes. How does alcohol affect you? I become more talkative and outgoing, and I get a warm sensation in my stomach. I don't know if my face still flushes. What color is your toothpaste? Blue. Have you ever inhaled helium? Shit, have I? What is your favorite kind of pasta? Normal noodles. Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? Noooot at all. Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't really feel he meant it. Who is the worst driver you know? How about the best driver? Jason; Mom, easily. Honestly, have you ever said a racist joke? I actually don't believe so. Are you comfortable hanging out with your friend’s boyfriends/girlfriends? I can't really relate to this, but it wouldn't bother me. Where were you when you got your first period? I'd just gotten home from school. Are you more attracted to men or women? Ohhhh that's hard. Romantically, easily women, but sexually, uh... idrk. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? huh True or False: Everything happens for a reason. False. Who was the last person to really hurt you? Mom. What was the main subject of your last telephone conversation? I was locked outside of my house and needed Mom to come home to help. When drinking hard alcohol do you take shots more or make mixed drinks? I can't handle hard alcohol period. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? Off the top of my head, I love "Abenteuerland" by Pur. Have you ever woken up next to someone after a night of drinking? No. Does your mail go to a P.O Box or to a mailbox at your house? A mailbox. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Uhhh most likely Colleen. Do you enjoy kissing? Ye. What about making out? Yeah. Where are you most ticklish? DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH MY FEET. Have you ever been to an arena concert? No. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. Has a friend ever really hurt you and you never told them? Maybe? Have you ever stayed on a ride at a theme park to ride it again? No. Where do you want to raise your children? I'm not having kids, but hypothetically, in nature. Are you afraid that if you do have children they will turn out like you? No. Have you ever slow danced to a song you didn’t know? No. Has someone ever dedicated a song to you? Yes. Do you like to have your hair pulled? I'm indifferent. Definitely don't do it hard. Do you work any holidays? N/A What is a quality someone might not assume you have? Apparently from being told, when I'm forced into talking, I don't seem shy??? I don't see it. When you are in a group that is overwhelmingly male, how noticeable is it to you? Does it make you feel any differently than being in a group that is mixed or predominantly female? It's noticeable to me, and I'm likely to be more anxious. Especially if I'm not with someone else. I'd feel safer with females. Do you have a makeup item or style trick that you feel improves your look significantly and that you feel like you couldn’t go without now that you have it? I feel eyeliner makes me look far better above anything else, but I like, never wear makeup period. Did you have to “unlearn” any expectations or wrong ideas, particularly about romance, that you gained as a child either from media you consumed or from people around you (e.g., fairy tale endings, or that dramatic relationships are healthy, etc.)? Happy endings, that if you tried hard enough, love always prevailed. Are there any bands or artists that you were really into at one point but that you never listen to anymore, not even to reminisce? Ummm not that I recall? What are some wedding trends that you really dislike? If you can’t think of anything, have you ever seen something at a wedding that made you cringe? Ummm idk. Is there something that happened in high school that you’re still salty about (e.g., a bully getting credit for your work)? Nah, not that I can think of. When someone hurts your feelings or offends you are you more likely to lash out at them, quietly withdraw, or something else? Withdraw, but become pretty short and/or sarcastic. Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? No. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from? Yes, and no. What’s your boss’s first name? Do you call him/her by that name? N/A Who was the last person you played a video game with? I played Pokemon with my niece and nephew. :') They loved it and I was a V PROUD aunt. Last game you played at an arcade? Who even knows. Last funeral you attended? Uhhhh. I don't remember. I want to say for my old babysitter, but that doesn't sound accurate... I swear I've been to one after. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? Does the little piggy one count cuz I LOVED THAT SHIT with my mom. Who was your childhood hero? Steve Irwin. He's still a hero to me. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don't have a fave. What was the name of your first stuffed animal? Oh BOY, I couldn't tell you. It was a little bunny holding a polka-dot blanket. What was your least favorite food as a child? Idk. Where did your mother and father meet for the first time? At work. What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I've no clue. What was your favorite place to visit as a child? THE ZOO BITCH TAKE ME AWAY Have you ever stayed in a cheap motel? No, I'm too much of a paranoid germaphobe to. What about a 5 star hotel? I highly doubt it. Have you ever gotten a massage? Not professionally. Have you ever given a massage? Yeah. Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? The latter. What is the last gift you received and from who? A snake keychain Sara made. :') What are you currently dressed in? Skull pj pants with an Umbreon tank. Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? "Not The American Average" by Asking Alexandria slaps.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

3 notes · View notes

arielle0808 · 6 years

Text

Re-writing challenge!

Good day/night to everyone! It's been some time since I first saw that some artists uploaded on their social media their re-doing of drawings they had made some years ago to show their improvement, and I thought that is such a cool thing to do!

Unfortunately, I am no artist, but I thought that doing it with my old pieces of writing could be nice as well :3

Thus, I decided to start a re-writing challenge, in which I will upload fragments of old pieces of writing every two weeks (original and fanfiction), point out the elements that I think are improvable, and a re-writing of the fragment ^^ I don't know if someone has done this before, but I think it's really positive and helpful!

So if you are a writer and you agree, I encourage you to do the same thing! If you tag me on your post and use the tag #rewritingchallenge, I will comment and/or reblog it!

I will start with not-so-old pieces and start digging up the oldest ones. Some of these will be in Spanish since that’s my native language, but I’ll try to find some of my old stuff in English (which is going to be quite embarrassing).

For today, I’ve chosen a fragment from my first fic ever, Our Story, which you can find on AO3. According to our friend Word, I started writing this story in November 2016. Let’s see what we do with it~

<<It was dawning when Saeyoung opened his eyes. The dim light entered the windows and he discovered he had fallen asleep on the sofa again. He tried to sit down, his back hurting a lot because he hasn’t been sleeping in his bed for days. It was difficult for him to sleep. Nothing bad happened really but he just couldn’t help thinking that he should find a job sooner than later. His life felt unstable now. He couldn’t say he wasn’t happy though. He had found his brother, who was finally starting to get alone with the rest of the members of RFA, and even though he wasn’t working at the moment, he had earned enough money to live quite well for the next year. The RFA was pretty active again. They had held a party after Saeran joined and Rika was sent to travel with a strange group Zen had somehow found, and they were already organising another. But still, things worried him. He was worried that the agency would inquire after him and Mary Vanderwood and find them, somehow, which would not only put at risk their lives, but also the ones of the members of RFA, especially his brother’s. And there was also the job thing. He knew he could ask Jumin and find a job in his company quite easily, but he didn’t want to put him in danger. Besides, what could he do? He felt he was only good at hacking and it wasn’t as if there were much legal jobs in that field. He felt frustrated. If he continued like that he wouldn’t be able to take care of his brother much longer, and he was not going to lose him again. Never again.

He logged into the chat room, and saw MC connected.

[…]

It was always fun talking to MC. He felt she was the only one who understood his jokes and jokes were precisely what kept him sane. He felt he could switch into the 707 persona and pretend he actually didn’t care about anything. He liked to pretend he was careless and mess around, especially with Yoosung. Yoosung was just too funny. He couldn’t help smiling every time he saw him in the chat room and trying to mess with him, which was quite easy because he was just too innocent. He knew it wasn’t fair to use him to forget his worries, but it was just too tempting. Sometimes Saeyoung felt he could only laugh sincerely when he talked to him, and that was how their relationship worked, right? He was no more than that teasing friend who was really annoying. He was okay with that. He just needed that little bit of Yoosung to feel some moments of happiness. And he didn’t deserve more than some moments of happiness.

He started chatting about some silly things with MC when Yoosung logged in.>>

So, this is the fragment I’ve chosen to work with. It comprises the first few paragraph of the first chapter, minus the conversation in the chatroom.

As you see, I’ve highlighted in different ways several things that can be improved. The typos and weird word choices are highlighted in bold, the repetitions (which don’t have any literary function) are scratched, and the weird sentence structures or grammatical mistakes, in italics.

There isn’t much to say about that, except that my use of English has improved lol (though there’s still room for improvement).

Apart from that, I don’t think this is an excessively bad introductory paragraph? It presents the RFA’s situation from Saeyoung’s perspective well enough, as well as what he believes to be his unrequited love, so there’s not much to change. The situation is a bit cliché, that’s true, but if I changed that I would be writing a whole different story, so I won’t get into that.

What I will modify, though, is the use of interior monologue since I love that device and I don’t use it much in the original version.

So this would be the final result!!

<<It was dawning when Saeyoung opened his eyes. The dim light of dawn entered the room through the windows and he realised he had fallen asleep on the sofa again. He tried to sit up, the intense pain on his back making him wonder when was the last time he had slept in a proper bed. Falling asleep had always been difficult to him. It should have become easier, though, since he had finally found his brother, who was starting to get along with the rest of the RFA members, and he had earned enough money to live quite well for the next year after working for the agency. The RFA was pretty active again, which was good as well. They had held a party after Saeran joined and Rika was sent to travel with a group Zen had found and was supposed to help her, and they were already organising another. Thus, his anxiety shouldn’t be acting as much as it was.

Despite all this, his life felt unstable. He was worried that the agency would inquire after him and Vanderwood and find them, which would not only put their lives at risk, but also those of the RFA members, especially his brother’s. He also believed he should find a job sooner than later. He knew he could ask Jumin, who would probably hire him in his company without thinking it twice, but he didn’t want to put him in danger. Besides, what could he do? He felt he was only good at hacking and there weren’t many legal jobs in that field. He felt frustrated. If he continued that way, he wouldn’t be able to take care of his brother, and he was not going to lose him again. Never, ever again.

He logged into the chat room, and saw MC online.

[…]

He smirked. Talking to MC was always fun. She was clever enough to understand his elevated sense of humour and, honestly, at that point jokes were the only thing what kept him… somehow sane. Jokes allowed him to switch into his 707 persona and that way he could feign he didn’t actually care about anything. If he pretended well enough he could make himself believe it, too. This was always the case whenever Yoosung was around. God, messing with him was so fun. He could feel a smile on his face already just thinking about pulling a prank on his innocent Yoosungie. Deep inside, he knew it wasn’t fair to use him to forget about his worries, but it was so tempting! Sometimes Saeyoung felt he could only laugh sincerely when he talked to him. Besides, if it wasn’t for their usual interactions, how would their relationship be? He was no more than that annoying tease of a friend. If he didn’t play around with him, he would be nothing to Yoosung. He was okay with that. It was all he needed to feel some moments of happiness. And he didn’t deserve more than that.

He was playing around with MC in the chat room, when Yoosung logged in.>>

So, as you can see, I decided to change the order of the elements of the first paragraph (and divide it in two, since it was so long). In the first version, I pointed out Saeyoung’s worries, how his life was going on better than before and talked about his anxieties again, so I think the new arrangement makes the ideas of the text more organised now.

The sentences in italics are some examples of interior monologue!

So, that was it! I really hope you liked it ^^

Did you agree with the changes? Would you modify something else? Did you like the first version better? You don’t like either? Love both?? Would you like me to clarify something? Want me to use a longer/shorter fragment the next time?? Feel free to let me know!!

Thanks for reading! <3

Support me on my Ko-fi <3 or visit my Patreon for more content! :3

#rewritingchallenge #rewriting fanfiction #rewriting challenge #rewriting our story #our story #i hope you find this fun!#or interesting!#or both

4 notes · View notes

surveysonfleek · 7 years

Text

359.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 5

401. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you? nah, it was definitely college for me. 402. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try? new foods, traveling to places i’ve been, beauty products etc. 403. Which is better: Mel Brooks or Woody Allen? eh, i don’t know either of them enough to choose. 404. When was the last time you were up all night? yesterday. 405. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank. such.

406. Are people too complex and different to be categorized? yes definitely. everyone has a story. 407. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as 'outsiders'? it’s great to have pride in your own race, especially if you’re spreading some knowledge about your culture to others. as long as you don’t look down on any other race, i feel like it’s totally acceptable. 408. What fictional story would you like to live through? harry potter i guess. 409. Are cats or dogs smarter? haha idk. 410. Have you ever guessed someone's password and broken into their diary? nope. 411. What teacher, if any, has effected you the most in your life? maybe my art teacher. she was a little crazy but she really helped me understand that i had potential. 412. Are you more easily bored or excited? both tbh. 413. What's the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done? traveled 14 hours by myself to dubai. nothing spesh, but it was a first for me. 414. "What's the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?" (- Adam Ant) some people would beg to differ. 415. If your man or woman served you breakfast in bed as a treat what would you want? the typical big breakfast: eggs, sausages, bacon, beans, toast, hash browns. 416. What do you do only when you are upset? cry. 417. What's the oddest CD in your collection? an aqua remixes album. 418. What's the best diary name you ever saw? none that i can think of. 419. What would your friends be surprised to learn about you? i watch a lot of stupid shit on youtube. 420. Who owes you an apology? no one really. 421. Who deserves an apology from you? no one lol. 422. How would you like to treat your kids differently from the way your parents treated you? i’m happy with the way my parents treated me tbh. 423. Which do you like best: 60's, 70's or 80's fashion? 80s. 424. What is the worst pick up line ever used on you? ‘do you wna come up to my room?’ ‘no, i have a boyfriend.’ ‘so do i.’ fuck off lol. 425. Of the following, which word best describes you: inventive, kinetic (energetic), light-hearted, mature mature. 426. Do you own a record player? Do you use it? no. 427. How easily do you make friends? it depends. if i’m in a group of people who don’t know each other, then yeah pretty easily. it’s harder for me to make friends with people who already know each other. 428. What is the difference between having character and being a character? you’re not exactly being your true self by being a character i guess. 429. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? anything that stings. 430. Do you care about your weight? yes, def. 431. Did you/will you go to the prom? i went. 432. Have you ever wanted to date twins? haha no. 433. What one thing would you change about high school if you could? nothing. maybe study harder. 434. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? brutally honest. 435. Are you artistic and creative? i’d like to think so, but i’m losing my touch. 436. What were you (probably) doing on this date last year? same shit, probably working. 437. What are you obsessed with? makeup. 438. What was the last compliment you received? i like your lashes. 439. Do you have any brothers or sisters? one sis. 440. Who would you like to be alone with right now? my boyfriend. 441. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer? nah, i hate that reverse psychology shit. it never works. 442. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage? i think it takes the romance and trust out of marriage for sure. 443. Do you lie your way out of things? not usually. 444. Are you better at talking or listening? depends on the person. probably listening. 445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime? turning a certain age. 446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible? haha no, i hate that kinda shit, i’ll be obsessed with it for a good week. 447. What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you? nothing, just nice compliments and stuff. 448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)? no thanks. that’s terrible. 449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading? nope. 450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers? planning a holiday. 451. What do you do for exercise? a bit of everything. i’ll do treadmill, cross trainer or bike and then do weights. 452. Would you rather have a strict teacher with a sense of humor or a lenient teacher that doesn't teach? lol wtf? who the fuck would choose the second option? 453. If you ever have a baby what might you want to name it? haven’t decided. 454. If you won free tickets to a concert from a radio show and had to choose between Inxs, Poison, Blondie and Moby, which would you choose? omgggg. if i had to, prob moby. 455. Are you a good cook? not good, but i like cooking. 456. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive? depends how much more expensive. 457. Start a sentence with the words: what if what if i got paid for doing these. 458. Are you more spontaneous and unpredictable or loyal and routine? loyal and routine. 459. What is the highest number you can count to in your head? meh. 460. How do you go about losing weight? eating healthy and exercising. 461. Do you have street smarts? i guess. 462. Do you have a lot of common sense? yes. 463. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? cookie dough. 464. What's your favorite movie that involves dancing? save the last dance. 465. Would you ever want to become a guest on a talk show? If yes what would the show's theme be? yeah sure. idk what the theme would be, anything that i’m plugging. 466. Do you like the way you look naked? no. 467. Have you ever dissected an animal? yes. 468. Who do you know who is brilliant? my boyf. 469. Who do you know who is dull? haha. 470. Do you ever think about time travel? not really. 471. What is one interesting fact you know? you’re more likely to die by a coconut falling from a tree and hitting your head than being killed by a shark. 472. Do you talk to yourself? Do you talk to your pets? only in my thoughts. yeah sometimes i talk to my dog. 473. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)? possibly. probably not in my lifetime though. 474. Would you rather wear clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty or more delicate outfits? depends where i’m going. 475. How do you 'live life to the fullest'? taking risks, doing a lot of things you’ve never done before and aiming to complete your bucket list. 476. Are you sloppy or a neat freak? i’m in the middle. 477. Would you rather have a trunk full of nickels or half a trunk full of dimes? half a trunk. 478. What is the worst mistake you've ever made? idk. 479. Are you in good health? not really. 480. Are you patriotic? not really lol. 481. The greenhouse effect is bad for your health. i can see that. 482. There are about as many molecules of air in one breath as there are hairs on your head. crazy. 483. The Miss America pageant started out as a contest in which people decorated wheel chairs and one chair was judged the prettiest. cool. 484. To remove a tattoo a physician can place a small balloon under the skin, which is inflated so that the tattooed skin gradually stretches. Then they cut the stretched skin away. lol i’ve never heard this. 485. Cock fighting is a sexual sport. well, it can be. 486. It is the warmest time of the day during the hour that the sun is the highest in the sky. oookay i think i’ll leave it here unless there’s anymore questions in this survey. 487. Certain scientists specialize in studying cow farts. 488. The brilliant colors (reds, oranges, yellows) across the sky that we get from sunsets are caused mainly by pollution. 489. In Grimm's original fairy tale, Rapunzel is pregnant. 490. Dracula was the first movie about a vampire. 491. The inventors of Corn Flakes, the Kellogg brothers, ran a school for delinquent youth. 492. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo. 493. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the toilet. 494. The Earl of Sandwich invented the Sandwich. 495. Some Chinese alchemists were trying to invent an immortality medicine and accidentally invented gunpowder instead. 496. The human body is made of about 99% water. 497. Bubble gum contains rubber. 498 This survey to the zero power = 0. 499. Most lipstick contains fish scales. 500. There are 86401 seconds in day.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

1 note · View note

jamfingers · 7 years

Text

Some Background on That One Super Famous Cluster B Personality Disorder and Some Brief Meta Tying It to Kai Parker’s Problematic (but Fine AF) Ass Because I Said I Would Do This

Okay, this isn’t a research paper, so I’m not going to put ref points throughout the post, but I’ll write down the full names of the texts and articles I used at the bottom in case you’re interested in checking them out yourself. Some info/pics come from old annotated notes, but I likely will only use those for examples provided by previous professors. NONE of these visuals are mine, they’re copyrighted and I’m posting them for educational purposes. I’m making no profit off of this. Obviously. This is a damn fan blog.

First off, lets talk behavior and psychopathology, then I’ll get into like...the barest bit of some of the complex anatomy and physiology behind them. Then I’ll talk Kai Parker a little and how he fits this. This post is gonna be hellaciously long, since it’s an academic reference/meta, so read more under the cut:

Personality is something pervasive, long term, and generally not mutable in a person. And individual’s personality will develop in childhood and are measured by rating the general patterns of disordered conduct/socializing of traits known as the big 5: neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. These traits, like anything dealing with the mind, are measured on a spectrum and patterns of extremely high pervasiveness of traits in some areas and extremely low pervasiveness in others that results in a diminished or troubled quality of life is what results in a personality disorder.

Personality disorders are sorted into 3 groups called clusters:

Kai falls into cluster B - he has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD from here on, can also be noted as APD), historically called “sociopathy”. ASPD is more commonly diagnosed in men than in women, (although this might be in part due to societal/gender biases of both the patient and the clinician, but I digress), with a prevalence in the clinical population of 3.9-5.9% and in the general population of 1.0%-1.8%. It’s rare, but not the rarest personality disorder by any means. No unicorns here.

I personally denote ASPDers as the biggest con-artist assholes you’ll ever have the displeasure of meeting, but that’s not very academic, so I’ll copy my one of my textbook’s format and break this up into a few categories. More information can be found in references.

Clinical Description And Criteria:

“I am entitled to break rules.”

That right there is the sun with which ASPD revolves around. The disorder is characterized by extreme selfishness and disregard for others, highly impulsive and risky behavior (like drug use, reckless stunts, fighting), and unusual emotional responses and fits of rage, but no deficits in reasoning ability. People with ASPD know what they’re doing, understand the social norms/ rules behind them and don’t care. In regards to the Big 5 personality traits this is what they look like (L is low, H is high):

And diagnostic criteria for ASPD on the DSM-5 looks like this:

YOU HAVE TO HAVE DISPLAYED CONDUCT DISORDER AS A CHILD TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH ASPD AFTER 18. Remember an individual’s personality develops in childhood and is long-lasting. Conduct disorder in children is diagnosed with this criteria:

ASPD has a pretty high heritabilty (about 40-50%) and it’s fostered in hostile environments characterized by lack of warmth, exposure to violence, high negativity, parental inconsistency or parental ASPD, and/or poverty.

While ASPD is associated with poor impulse control, there is still no deficit in reasoning ability. ASPDers with a high intelligence quotient (IQ) are less likely to get caught or engage in illegal or destructive behavior because they know the game. They’d rather be free to fuck people over than in a system and can be quite adept at hiding their traits. This leads me to psychopathy. There’s still some debate about whether psychopathy should be considered different from ASPD, but most clinicians these days agree that psychopathy as a subset of symptoms that fall under ASPD. So just like all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares, all psychopaths (at this point) are ASPDers, but not all ASPDers are psychopaths.

Psychopathy:

Defining characteristics of psychopathy include:

If you’re having a hard time reading this, the red and blue branches indicate what aspects of psychopathy are influenced by what bit of anatomy dysregulation. AMG - amygdala, PCC - posterior cingulate cortex, MPFC - medial prefrontal cortex. The coronal slices (red, bottom blue) are as if you’re looking at a person face to face - your left is their right. Top blue is scanned from the right side (See that scrunchy round thing behind the straight part? Below the “PCC”? That’s the cerebellum behind the brain stem. It’s in the back of your head, to help with orientation.) Middle blue is as if you and the person are facing the same direction, but you’re taller and looking straight down on their head. Hope that helps you out!

In general, with regards to criminal behavior, high IQ psychopaths are called “subclinical” psychopaths and are not generally studied bc...well, they blend in. They find other, legal or discreet ways to fulfill thrill seeking behavior.

Psychopathy has some actual distinct differences in the brain that can be physiologically measured. It’s typically shown by differences in the the right amygdala and the anterior rostral prefrontal cortex (arPFC from here on), especially on the right side. (The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for emotional recognition and expression, while the amygdala controls fear responses/recognition and the PFC in general controls different aspects of higher cognition. In this case, it’s likely the conversion of emotionality to morality, since emotions play a large part in fostering sympathy and from there moral judgement.) See?

Integrative Biopsychosocial Model of APD:

Bio (Genetics and neurobiology): Twin and adoption studies show that ASPD is highly heritable, but it’s the gene-environment interaction that is integral for ASPD development. ASPD is an endophenotype - the underlying aspects of disorder are genetic (low levels serotonin and dopamine (the chemical neurotransmitters), or in the case of psychopaths, low levels of serotonergic or dopaminergic axons (the anatomy that receives the NT)) and provide the unique emotional aspects of ASPD, but the social behavior presentation is guided by the environment (early childhood stress, lack of social guidance, etc). The arousal theory, if you’re interested, is based of the endophenotypes and can explain how certain behaviors arise from them (i.e. ASPDers, esp. psychopaths, are stimulation seeking bc of low response in reward systems (serotonergic/dopaminergic)). *I add on dopamine bc it’s an important chemical in the brain’s reward system, but serotonin is the key one.

Psychosocial (mental and environmental): Inconsistent parental punishments, lack of punishment for aggressive/antagonist behavior, environments that propagate violence, high risk-reward and fearless psychology all lend themselves to the development of the disorder.

The disorder is like a measuring cup and each influence is water filling it until the water level reaches the mark where the disorder presents itself.

When it comes to ASPD, prevention, not treatment is preferred. Redirecting behavior patterns in kids with conduct disorder is your best bet compared to trying to get a fully formed, highly aggressive ASPD adult to behave.

Here’s a case study from my abnormal psych textbook depicting what the you’d most likely see in clinical ASPD case (i.e. in “the system” , like prison or a hospital):

(See why I said con-artists asshole? Ryan’s a fucking dick.)

References:

“Abnormal Psychology: An Integrative Approach” 7th Edition, David H. Barlow & V. Mark Durand {This is the book I used in my psychopathology class, which is for...understanding pathologies of the mind lol.}

“Neuroscience” 5th Edition, Dale Purves {Great book for detailed anatomy and physiology of neural circuits, and I didn’t get into like I could, but the emotion chapter is dense and that’s a lot of info to slam you with.}

“The Foundations of Behavioral Neuroscience” 9th Edition, Neil R. Carlson {Easy to read and a great general capstone text}

Okay, so now that we got the science, on to Kai Parker:

Right, so I think it’s safe to say that, canonically, Kai mostly fits the criteria for ASPD, but you’re def free to go back over all that up there and do your own comparison. We all know how Kai is an admitted “sociopath”. Considering Joshua Parker’s behavior, we can probably take a gander on the genetic component and considering the entire Gemini premise, plus the way Kai in particular was raised as the outsider in his family, we have an idea of the hostile and warmth-lacking environment that fostered it.

Because it’s TVD, I do think Kai was written to cater that whole “handsome, suburban white boy gone wrong” schtick, but I also think he’s one of the most subtly well-fleshed characters that show ever produced. There’s this one article I read for a neuro lit course (“Loneliness and associated violent antisocial behavior: analysis of the case reports of Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen.” authored by W.H. Martens and G.B. Palmero) that really stuck to me in a pervasive way and it’s about how chronically festering feelings of neglect and loneliness, of feeling like an unaccepted outsider, drove Dahmer and Nilsen to take their victim’s lives in a misguided way to dissuade the loneliness.

Having read that makes me wonder how Kai, the fictional serial killer, reflects his real life counterparts. The drive for merging and becoming coven leader is something that would force others to acknowledge him, which ties into his “black sheep” speech, his “I was never hugged as a child and my siblings were kept away” complaint (There are a lot of inconsistencies in his dialogued back story that bother me, but it makes me wonder if he ever lied about his past: “my favorite memory is when I finally beat him to death” and the preceding story about Mario Kart with the bby bro seems like something he might have just made up to fuck with Elena), and other vocalizations he’s made about his past which point to him being the misfit and desiring a sense of belonging. While we know Kai’s ASPD is a part of his characterization, this to me seems out of the norm for this disorder, simply because it indicates an understanding of sympathy that is unwittingly emotional.

Of course, Kai could also just want to be able to lord the world’s biggest “FU!” over his abusers.

Either way, anti or not, when using the ASPD/sociopath argument to defend or dismantle Kai as a character, I think it’s a good idea to keep in mind that Kai was written inconsistently. He shows very little impulsivity or recklessness in 1994, one trait which is almost a given with ASPD, nor was he flightly/irresponsible. He always had some end-goal or plan in mind. This was pre-merge. But he was also manipulative and showed no regret about the people he hurt. Obviously, each case of the disorder is unique because they exist on a spectrum, but the pattern and criteria are there due to broad commonalities in each case. The way the media tends to portray ASPD is not all consistent with the way the disorder presents irl.

#Kai parker #ASPD info #antisocial personality disorder #kai parker meta #tvd meta #bonkai #which I mean...i guess

61 notes · View notes

fimflamfilosophy · 7 years

Note

Ah, I see. Parody songs about FNAF and Undertale are illegal, but Mentally Advanced Series and Rainbow Dash Presents are not because you are a True Fan™ and your love for this Hasbro franchise is genuine and thus not in the same legal standing as any other fan content creator.

No, anon. It’s because fair use doesn’t protect “parody”, it protects your right to be critical of someone else’s intellectual property. It relies on a four factor test..1. The purpose and character of the use2. The nature of the work3. The amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the work as a whole4. The effect of the use on the market or potential market for the original work.In the case of MAS, the purpose is to juxtapose MLP’s cheery disposition with a more cynical world where corruption and taxes are real and present. It exaggerates the characters’ flaws while downplaying their ideal virtues. The nature of the work is commentary. It’s based around things the show has said and things that have been presented. I never did say, “lol what if Sweetiebelle was a robot wouldn’t that be random”. No. The reason I depicted Sweetiebelle as an eldritch monster was because the story of the CMC is to paradoxically blend in by standing out. They want their special unique talent so they can be like everyone else. They want to be NORMAL, MAGICAL PONIES..MAS is an ongoing series, which is risky, but each episode is brief compared to the show, and they are intended to mock specific individual episodes of the show. It would be MUCH easier to write fully original material, but it isn’t what I do..MAS is not fully self-contained; our jokes make more sense if you watch the show. It’s not targeted at the core demographic MLP is aimed at either. MAS is written specifically for bronies - adults that watch the show. And while there have been episodes in MLP that act as shout-outs to bronies, MLP will never be written to ruin itself with bureaucracy or to juxtapose itself with adult themes like sex, taxes, death, or scandal. I’m not trying to fight for a piece of their pie, I’m not trying to write lore for them or replace their show..Now I’m not a lawyer, so I can’t provide an airtight justification for myself, but this is why MAS is okay as I understand. It’s what I try to do, and it’s what I think about when I write new episodes..But let’s look at a song Griffinilla wrote:https://youtu.be/MVWqhYn3TIc

.The “Napstablook Song (Undertale)”. It’s a song that describes Napstablook, a character from Undertale. The purpose of the song is to entertain fans of the game by singing about Napstablook. Maybe Griffin has a four-point defense laid out for this, but probably not. Maybe you could argue it’s educational, but I think most judges could be persuaded to believe the only reason “Napstablook Song (Undertale)” exists is to capture some of the market that’s interested in Undertale products, the copy-written character, Napstablook, and his theme song. Is it hurting Toby, who owns the character? Probably not..But if you made a “Darth Vader (Star Wars)” song, you can imagine how it might agitate a lawyer. You can’t just make a song about Darth Vader and call it “Darth Vader (Star Wars)” - even if it describes Darth Vader’s outfit - unless it’s cool with whoever owns that copyright. Napstablook isn’t less protected on paper than Darth Vader..Toby hasn’t sent a C&D and nor has Toby expressed much interest in hunting people down. That doesn’t mean that other artists should do what Griffin is doing. In fact, I’d recommend you be very careful if doing what MAS does, because you have to understand that there are still risks and a lawsuit could still occur. It’s not my IP. If Hasbro felt threatened by me, I could get a letter. It’s how that is..Doing work related to or in commentary of someone else’s IP is like rolling the dice. You might be fine doing it for a while, but if you stake everything on it and you roll snake eyes, it’s better if you were at least trying to follow and understand the rules. If your defense is strong enough, you may just get a summary judgement in your favor. If it’s too weak, then you have to settle or go to court. If it’s as weak as “I made a song describing Darth Vader and named it ‘Darth Vader (Star Wars)’,” then maybe it’s going to be a summary judgement in favor of the person who sues you. I think for a lot of his work, Griffin just doesn’t have a defense. The Youtube algorithm LOVES this type of thing and promotes it up and down, but it is SO illegal were it to matter..Most fans are fine to make fan art, and fan songs, and to do tributes to their favorite stuff. But gosh, once you start thinking about success, business, money, and building something real, you shouldn’t want to be as far on the wrong side of the tracks as that.

54 notes · View notes