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spinaroos-47 · 2 years

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spinny you watched the sea beast!!!!

i would like to hear All Of Your Thoughts (if you have time of course!) favorite line(s) and characters?? best scene?? what are your thoughts on captain crow?? (specifically the deal he made with that one lady whose name i conveniently cannot remember)

sorry i am just. very love that movie fdhdjdjs about to watch it again

Yeah i just finished it! I put it on because i had a headache and nothing better to do and i still have the headache but i am so happy to have watched it!

(Isa i know you can end up seeing this before you watch it so Im putting under a read more. Also i have a lot to say nfdnfnrn)

I LOVED this movie! I did get spoiled about the "maybe you can be a hero and still be wrong" BUT IT STILL HIT SO HARD!!! The messages and the themes were so good!!!! I kept screaming "THE THEMESSSSSSSSS" in a groupchat fksnfnfn

The color work was also amazing, i said on another post but i love how green = imperialism and red = the beast and the inevitable. And how the shade of green the king and queen wore was that arsenic green, not to mention how full of gold they and the palace was (that throne room reminded me of that one in edge of the world, color scheme and all)

A lot of moments gave me vibes of both the httyd movies and the books, which is so nice because they nail down some of the themes that i really like on both of them!

Tbh my favorite line besides the heroes thing is something exclusive to the portuguese dub (i watched it dubbed because again, headache. Which btw, really good dub), when Maisie says "let it end" in the dub she says "put a final point on this!" which i REALLY liked because it neatly ties into how they shaped the conflict through the books! Yeah, end the phrase! End the cycle! Full stop!

I really liked Jacob and Maisie, Jacob for...obvious reasons 😳 fjsnfnfnrn, but also his personality and mannerisms are so fun! The same for Maisie, she's a joy to watch. Sarah i really enjoyed too, ever since i saw her design before i even saw the movie. She's so cool

I really liked Crow's character, and i have to admit that he did have a lot of death flags but Im glad he didn't die. His arc was really interesting, though i don't have the words to explain it rn

I got so surprised that this movie had blood (and blood transfusions, that's a surprise but its a pleasant one because yeah that's something you usually dont see but that probably happened). All the little details in the movie were really cool, like how they were stocking up the royal ship with lemons to avoid scurvy, or how Jacob positioned himself to land in the water at that beast attack at the beggining of the movie, and the orders to change the direction of the ship was really cool, it sounded very legit

The character designs were amazing, with just a few gripes that i have with it. The first one is with the lady that crow made a deal with (i also dont remember her name). Like, did they really need to go with that pretty antisemitic look? Yikes.

The second one is with some of the beasts, including Red. She's just too smooth. Of course that for an easier time swimming it makes sense for her to be smooth, she almost looks plastic sometimes. But that you usually see on aquatic mammals, and Red isnt a mammal, if you look at fishes and aquatic reptiles theyre not smooth usually, theyre more like that beast they killed in the first 20 minutes. That design was really cool.

I guess i kinda get more why people didn't like the light fury's design in the hidden world. But it worked there. Red's design is not bad, but again, way too smooth and tbh kinda bland. I saw some of the original designs with her having stripes and more spikes which i really liked. Her design works, but it could be better. They could have gone a little scarier with her i think. Could helo drill in the themes of misunderstanding and propaganda more.

I'll use toothless from the movies as an example because i think he's a good example and they kinda look similar. He still looks very intimidating, his design works as both cute and scary. Like, he genuinely scared me from watching the first movie for the first time for a good while, at least for three whole years, even when he looked more cute than scary. They could have pushed it a little more.

And i kinda have a similar issue with Blue and that yellow beast on the island. Theyre too smooth and feel out of place. Red has a bit of that too but Blue and that beast do feel like that a lot more. The movie is colorful, but Blue is almost neon, and it can work but it clashed too much and he felt way too cartoony in a direction that didn't match, its more caricature-esque than full on cartoon. He'd work amazingly on subnautica though. I loved the crab beast btw.

Theres some things that i think they could have explored more/gone more in depth but Im pretty happy with this final result, id like a little bit more of the end scene of Maisie and Jacob on their new life, Im not asking for much, maybe a minute or two more.

I liked how at the end they went "we won't disturb them. We should leave them alone", that is a part that gave me vibes from both the httyd movies and books, hell, the books even have the poisoned huge as fuck sea creature goes back to god knows where on the ocean to not be bothered by humans anymore. I know its not for everyone but it served it's message really well. And i think it dealt with it better than the hidden world. I love that movie and the decision, i just think that on the sea beast it worked even better, it was integranted in a different way with the message and i prefer that one

This movie captured a lot of what i want for one of my stories. It gave me quite a bit of food for thought on that story. Because it does also have a war between humans and sea creatures (although on mine theyre sentient humanoid beings) and one of the alternatives one of the characters have is "we should cut off contact". Its a story i really like, id love to apply what Ive seen in this movie on it when i get back into being interested in my own stories

So yeah, really great movie!

#the sea beast #ask

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hobidreams · 2 years

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damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

#the spacing is fine for me btw!!#at least on laptop #rain reply #🌿 anon #❤️❤️❤️#stay well love

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flightless-icarus · 2 years

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saturday august 27, 2022

so yesterday i had apartment inspections and my landlord kept complimenting my apartment bc it was so empty LMAO and it made it easier to check outlets and stuff. i have such a headache right now, but im awake because i had a really late dinner and now i have indigestion bc of it. im sitting here feeling sick as HELL since i ate so late- and i know that happens, but i cant skip meals rn, i literally can’t afford to skip my meals right now, weight wise.

ive been popping nausea meds like its candy lately to keep my stomach frrm getting so upset lately. it was even fucking testing me tonight but i just tried to breathe through it. i didnt want to take another one, because they give me headaches lol, which is frustrating bc i have one

im super sleepy, but i cant go to bed until i get a shower, and i dont wanna get in the shower until this indigestion goes away. i need some water, but im procrastinating it.

i just got some water.

things have been tough lately. im all hung up on my ex friends messages to me. i know what she said was bullshit- she called me selfish and a liar. If putting myself first, and taking care of myself and setting boundaries is selfish, then i am absolutely selfish. and i dont recall ever lying to her about anything aside frorm my feelings towards her. (her and i lived together at one point and i was very fake-nice to her while we lived together to keep the peace because when she decided she hated me [typically for ableist reasons], she was really mean and verbally hostile and it made me stop eating and get sick, so i was fake with her for my own safety and health, and then i was convinced to give her another chance and regretted it shortly after because i realised she very much hadn’t changed, and was gaslighting me and telling me I had problems when she was the one causing issues.) but anyway, she kept telling me my “karma was getting me for being such a bad person” which has me… confused.. even after talking to it with some close friends.

i live alone, my bills are paid (things are just financially rough for 1 more month, then after this month, ill be pretty set money wise), my apartment is my own, im in an okay area, i have the best friends ive ever had in my life, i THINK i have a crush on someone who feels mutually- like this is the closest to having a partner ive been in several years, i have a therapist, i have health insurance and im getting answers to my health issues, i get to spend my days doing the things i love (art), and im separated from my parents. fully.

i am literally the best ive ever been (aside from trauma stuff coming up, but that comes with the territory of being alone with ur thoughts all day and night) and im in the most stable living situation ive ever been in, and shes gonna tell me MY karma is getting me rn while shes working at target and trying to solve all her health problems with essential oils???? (she is anti vax)

im just so deeply confused. she said “have fun with your lame ass life and 5 internet friends and being selfish and living in a terrible neighbourhood, karmas a bitch now bye”

i dont place my value in how many friends i have, or how many times i go out. ive tried to tell her SEVERAL times that im very content being a homebody. i enjoy spending time alone and have fun with playing video games or watching youtube, reading, writing, and creating art. i like being inside. ive explained that to her more times than i can count and the fact that she just never once listened to me and is calling my life lame lmao. 4 of my 5 friends live only about an hour away and could visit if I scheduled with them a time to hang out, and my neighbourhood isnt bad. Yes there’s gun violence around here, but its… florida… of course there is. she thinks its some big dangerous neighbourhood bc its a predominantly black neighbourhood and shes racist as hell. this neighbourhood isnt more, or less dangerous than any other neighbourhood in my city. plus…… she tries to use ‘karmas a bitch’ at me as if i haven’t told her many times that i dont believe in karma. i believe in consequences to your actions. good & bad is subjective (in non-extreme cases), this situation specifically- i think shes awful and she thinks im awful. Does that mean we both get bad karma? no. it doesnt make sense. karma would only make sense for r^pists and ped0s and m^rderers and ab*sers. People like that.

I hope she figures out how to treat people who are different than her. she gets in this “i can fix them” mindset and then gets mad when they dont accept her “help”. She would always tell me how she. only wanted to help me, but anytime i came to her with my issues, i got ridiculed, questioned, ignored, and made fun of. I told her about my deep, personal shit and i was met with her asking me the most vile, invasive questions ive ever gotten about that issue in my entire life. i told her about something as silly as my water heater breaking and the maintenance man freaking out about it because it was so aggressively dangerous and unsafe to even keep turned on and i had to get an emergency replacement because of it- i told her about that and she didnt even acknowledge it, she just said “damn, anyway did you listen to my voice memos”

also she wants to claim i dropped off and never checked in with her…. i just moved into a place oN MY OWN *one month ago*. ONE MONTH AGO. I ***JUST*** GOT SETTLED IN THIS PLACE THIS WEEK. Im finally getting used to handling cleaning and cooking for myself every day, and im getting used to being alone and finally getting over my nighttime paranoia and im dealing with a lot of trauma stuff that i clearly cant go to her with- and shes gonna accuse me of just dropping off because i didnt talk to her for a couple of weeks, when i have friends i can, and HAVE dropped off from for YEARS and we picked back up chatting like nothing ever happened.

Biggest example is this guy i was friends with in 2020, one day i just quit replying, and he did the same, and i just reached out to him literally 3 days ago and he still refers to me as his friend and we were chatting and talking shit with each other, and he told me about how he still plays music and hes been putting most of his energy into that. Same with a different guy, we didnt talk for a year and now we’re updating each other on our lives and chatting again, and he told me all about how hes visiting his girlfriend in a week and im really excited for him, especially bc theyre moving in together next year. and yet she couldnt handle 2 fucking weeks while i was adjusting to living alone and unpacking by myself and trying to take care of myself during this really big adjustment?

she also tried to tell me that my ex friends told her about how im such a liar and how im so selfish and i asked her to tell me what i have lied about, because she has a history of just calling me names (ableist, a liar, a manipulator, etc) just because she “Wants to piss me off” and she “doesnt actually believe that”, because ive called her out on calling me names before and i would say ‘show me how im being X’ and then later id call her out and say ‘idk why you said this, you never told me how i was being xyz’ and she’d say “oh well i dont actually think that, i was just mad” so i plan to tell those ex friends shes so close with that she either lied about them, or threw them under the bus :) either way, shes about to meet her “karma” aka: consequences to her own actions. once i get my laptop back from them and pay them back, im telling them about her either lying on their name or throwing them under the bus so they know shes a rat. idk why she would use their names tbh lmao, considering her and i were actively fighting.

call me petty, but id wanna know if my friends were throwing me under the bus.

i dont need her. i dont need anyone like that in my life. i dont want to be friends with people who will spin false narratives about me because im taking care of myself, or lying out of self preservation because you make me feel unsafe. i dont want to be friends with people who dont make me feel good. ive had enough of those. i didnt even let my family treat me poorly, what makes you think im gonna let random people treat me badly.

anyway, its 4am and i want to get in the shower, my stomachs feeling a little better, and maybe now that ive written about this, ill shut the fuck up about it. i keep talking to a friend of mine a bout it and im sure ive annoyed the absolute fuck out of them (though they agree with me and ive told them everything ive written here)

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blxetsi · 3 years

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modern hange zoe dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

hange zoe x gn!reader

- first, their love language is definitely a mix of physical touch and verbal affirmations

- idc idc theyre the best of both worlds 🤩

- you prefer verbal affirmations over physical touch (or vice versa) ? their immediately making a mental note and showing u love with whichever one u like more

- i think they'd be a scientist or researcher ?? maybe they'd study the human body or like global warming ?? idfk but would definitely go into the science field

- also i personally love the idea of moblit and them being together 😳🤚 idk i love the idea

- but since YOU are with miss hange id like to think they stayed friends after the breakup 😌✨ theyre both mature ppl (and hot)

- moblit is always third wheeling w you guys. you and hange could be making out and he'd sit there with his iced coffee like 😐

- hange i feel is a very forgetful person, so like, dates and stuff (things made on a sort of short notice) they tend to forget about, but things like birthdays and anniversaries are NEVER forgotten

- ofc they'll make it up to you after you call them from the restaurant youve been waiting in for over an hour

- but sometimes it does hurt that they value their work so much, you love that they find joy in what they do and are dedicated, but it just feels like they prioritize work over you

- and hange understands ! and they start trying to be on time for things like that. is also constantly reassuring you at random times that they love and care about you

- also loves to spoon you. will literally wrap around you like a koala in bed. doesnt matter if its too hot and youre both immediately sweating, will trap you with their insane amount of strength and never let you go until either they wake up or you wake up begging to use the restroom

- i feel like when theyre working from home (which is everyday in a pandemic 🙄 even tho these headcanons arent really structured around pandemic modern times) they forget to eat/drink when they get reeeaaaallllyyyy into what theyre researching

- could be on the verge of discovering a new genetic mutation (idk) while also being on the verge of passing out due to dehydration

- theyll come out for dinner and be like "yknow ive been having this weird headache all day"

- "probably because you havent drank any water today"

- will stare at you like "🤨" before replying "nah i dont think so 😹"

- you have to threaten letting them starve to get them to drink some water. and as soon as they do theyre chugging three cups

- five minutes later theyre like "babe ! it worked ! youre awesome"

- lots of pet names like babe/baby, my love, my darling (in a dramatic english accent), honey, and any others that youd prefer

- has a weird love for the cartoon archer (yknow that adult show with like 10 seaons ??)

- will literally no nothing about the plot or characters, and will only put the show on for background noise while theyre doing something, but will ALWAYS recommend archer to others and say its their favourite cartoon if asked

- also loves the amazing world of gumball (you got them into it) actually watches the show and loves it, yet never thinks of it when asked "what shows should i watch ?" or "what are some shows you like ?"

- if youre like, an artist or something like that, they genuinely LOVE anything you make

- you made them a little painting ? theyre hanging it up in their apartment. you created a clay vase or something ? buying flowers to put in it rn (doesnt even take care of the flowers but yk)

- if youre having a bad day theyre dropping everything for you (unless its super important then theyre saying "how about i move my work to the bed and we can cuddle ?")

- if you need to rant theyre actively listening while trying to work. will accidentally start typing what youre saying onto their word document. ends up having to delete three whole paragraphs about that bitch at work smh 🙄🤚

- loves taking showers/ baths w you (NEVER in a sexual way though) they genuinely find it fun to wash each other's hair and stuff. if you ask them to wash your back theyre shoving their hands in your armpits and tickling you like,, mf ill fall and take us both down 😐

- definitely an ass/thighs person. doesnt matter how big or small, loves it.

- also a dish collector in their room. their room and office are in the same space, so youll find them with cups and plates on their desk where their research is supposed to be like bae,,, i think youre growing a new kind of mold 😍🦠💥

- talks so passionately abt their work and coworkers to you. theres this new intern at their job and hes the sweetest and brightest kid they know. his names armin and they speak about him SO highly

- also has a really cold nose ?? u love to kiss it bc it makes them shiver bc of the temperature difference

- has weirdly soft hands. youd think theyd be kinda rough bc of all the weird shit they touch for "science" but no. the hands are perfect

- doesnt know how to take care of things around the house (like handy stuff) so they beg levi to come over.

- he reluctantly does bc hes their friend but will nod at you as soon as he walks in and says "i hope hange isnt being too annoying today"

- immediately youll defend them and say zoe hange could never annoy you bc hange is the love of ur life and all he'll do is say "youre lucky then. i envy you."

- you and hange both know hes using his dry humour, but as punishment hange follows him around the place and annoys him even further

- also tries to convince you to get a dog at the weirdest of times ???

- itll be three in the morning and theyll just whisper in your ear "we should get a dog"

- theyre allergic to cats so if you suggest that they say "no ill die if i go near one"

- if youre allergic to dogs theyll say "okay fine a baby then"

- "how will we get one ?"

- "we'll steal it. or go looking through a dumpster"

- what did they say 😳😳⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

- you shut down any ideas of a dog or baby for a long while after that

- loves squeezing your cheeks, and would love if you did it to them too

- will literally just sit in bed squishing them and request you do the same. so you both just sit facing each other criss crossed, squishing each others faces while giggling

- ive made this pretty long already so this is it ! but yes, they love u through and through

a/n

second headcanon babyyy !!! hope u all enjoyed !! my asks r open if u wanna request something !! (also please request something 😭😭😭 )

#attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #aot imagines #attack on titan headcanons #hange zoe #hange zoë #hange zoë x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #armin arlert #hange zoe x reader

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electricsockhead · 3 years

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Head very full of Morgan just making breakfast for Aaron and bringing it to him on a tray and Aaron can't see him properly because he's not wearing his glasses, so Derek puts them on for him, reveals the breakfast and kisses Aaron's forehead. Basically, if I can't love Hotch I'll have fictional characters do it for me!

OMG STOP THIS IS SO CUUUTE!! Wait I wanna make some hcs on this rn hold up.

soft!mortch headcanons <3 (except Hotch is sick and Derek takes care of him)

tw: mentions of headaches & being sick // tw: hospitals // tw: the gays being insufferable and pining miserably

So Hotch called in sick one day which is mad weird cuz he could have the worst headache and he’d just gumble his way through a full productive work day.

But today he called in sick so like the entire team was worried.

Derek decided go check in on him just to make sure everything’s good.

Of course he has a key so he just lets himself in and calls out for Hotch.

When he gets no response, he makes his way to Hotch’s room and he’s just laying sideways, eyes super red, but they’re open and he’s just staring out into an abyss.

Dereks like “hey man, you ok? The team’s all worried” it takes like a full minute for Hotch to turn and face him properly and his face is also very red and he just looks absolutely miserable.

Ofc he doesn’t admit it so he’s just like “I’m fine >:(”

Derek glares for o b v i o u s reasons.

He’s like “you said you had a mild headache? You can barely move, man!”

He gets all worried and shit and Hotch tries to pretend to be fine because he doesn’t want to look weak in front of his crush coworker.

So Derek’s like “lemme go make you something” and he comes back with some soup and a spoon.

He sits next to Hotch and he’s like “you didn’t have to do that >:(”

But Morgan isnt having any of that so he just makes sure Hotch eats all his soup.

He puts on Hotch’s glasses for him so he can see better but the Hotch man is starting to get sleepy like half way so Derek goes to put the soup in the kitchen and comes back to Hotch already asleep with his glasses on the nightstand.

He gives a kiss to his forehead and straightens up his blankets and whispers “goodnight Aaron!” Hotch (who is actually still awake) absolutely m e l t s but it’s fine cuz his face is already red so you can’t really see the ginormous blush on his face.

A couple hours later Hotch wakes up with violent coughs and Derek is sitting in a chair right next to him.

When he calms down Derek gets up and is like “ok, were going to the hospital!”

“I’m fiiiiine! >>>:(((”

“NO YOURE NOT!! IM TAKING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL AND YOU DONT GET A SAY!”

Hotch is grumpy the whole way there and he doesn’t say anything except for occasionally mumbling “this is completely unnecessary >:(” and “you’re just wasting time and money, this is pointless”

Turns out he was right because it was just a bad cold and the doctor told him to stay home for at least 2 weeks.

Derek stays with him and takes care of him the whole time.

He sleeps on the couch, but sometimes Hotch will get cold (even with a shit ton of blankets) so Derek cuddles him and ends up getting sick too.

So they stay at Hotch’s for like a whole month because Hotch feels the need to repay the favor so he stays with him and takes care of him.

All in the while holding back the urge to just k i s s him like 378282 times a day.

But it’s all good, they get through it, and on their first day back to work they got used to being extremely close so the team assumes they’re dating and they have to keep awkwardly be like “oh no, were not dating wErE jUsT fRiEnDs!1!1!1!”

Penelope teases Derek relentlessly because she knows he’s like him ever since he joined the team.

At the end of the day they go back to Hotch’s cuz Derek has to get his stuff and all.

But once they get inside Hotch is like “hey... do you want to stay? Just for tonight...”

And Derek absolutely melts because Hotch sounds so adorably insecure so he nods and makes dinner for them and after dinner they’re watching a movie and sitting incredibly close and Hotch goes “Derek, I appreciate all you did for me... I really hope you know that...”

And Derek smiles and they get closer and closer and thEN THEY K I S S ! ! !

Hotch starts blushing like a teenager and Derek kisses his cheeks and his nose and they cuddle and end up falling asleep.

The next day they walk into work holding hands and Spencer is the first to notice and he starts teasing them automatically going “wow, how friendly of you two!” And they all just chuckle.

Emily and Penelope have the time of their lives teasing complaining going like “WHAT DID WE SAY?! BUT DID YOU GUYS LISTEN?! NOOOO!! YOU KEPT PINING AND PINING AND WE WERE THE ONES WHO HAD TO PUT UP WITH THE “Oh nO wErE fRiEnDs!1!1!”

JJ and Rossi don’t really care for their relationship, they’re just happy they’re happy

THE END!!

#ugh sorry these are so bad and have nothing to do with glasses but it reminded of this so I though hey why not make hcs about this?!#anyways hope you like them hee hee <3 #criminal minds #mortch #hotchgan #magsaroni in ze box #✨ess tag✨#maggies hcs #hee hee mortch #tw: hospital #tw hospital #hospital tw

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crystu-cii · 4 years

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But I like sending asks to you every day! :3

Pfft well, that definitely explains it XD I was like uh-oh did I have a weird dream that I thought was real again--

Oh noo I hope you get your motivation back for schoolwork ;-; mine's barely here but I'm scared of getting bad grades sooo-- even though I've had a migraine for like three days ;w;

I'm glad I was able to get some sleep as well kdnks I've been terrible at falling asleep at reasonable times lately- tbf I work a lot better at night sooo-- (but staying up so late probably isn't helping my migraines whoops--)

Oms I'll never understand how people can talk or sing aloud to themselves when others can hear them it makes me soo nervous-- I sometimes record myself singing for a friend who lives really far away but I always wait til people are out of the house or I can go outside so no one can tell me I'm being annoying--

YESS asl is so cool and fun to learn- my school actually has an asl program that I'll hopefully get into eventually, it's been booked up for two semesters ;w; but I also found a cool site to learn asl from and stuff so :D

Oooh nicee!! Comfort aus,an I feel that, what a mood, I have one for thsc (and so many other fandoms XD) XD YES that's my favorite widely accepted fanon it is SO GOOD....

Oms XD nice!!! I was so proud when I learned some phrases (pretty much the same ones as you, plus some others XD) I know exactly how you feel- it is so cool--

omgmg thank you!! ;0; ❤❤️💕💞💞😭😭

and yeahh i hope my school life rn would end up being fine one way or another- earlier i asked my friend for help on the assignment due today and THEY DIDNT S T A R T IT- so now we are kinda just uhhh freaking out XDDD

but oh no! having a migranes sound horrible, but headaches in general are just the woRSTTT

and oH MY GOD I DO THE SAME TOOO though liek gogmm- when my parents are both out i feel like i have complete control over evERYTHING- like- when im alone in my home- thats usually when i feel FULLY free to just do whatever- not too different from when i do have people around- but like i would be a whole lot louder and i can cuss a storm XDDD

and HOLY your school has an asl program?? that sounds so AWESOME omgg- the schools i go to are usually pretty boring- ESPECIALLY during this pandemic like- school isnt even fun for me anymore ;w; the program im into was information technology- mostly i got in it because next year i would learn game developement! but at the moment im uhhh not doing so well in that class xD

but learning from a website sounds a lot more better! like- you can go at your own pace and in my opinion i just think thats great! man if only actual school was like that xD

#the rambles of crystu #and speaking of talking when i have people around- right now my cousin and their parents are staying at my house for a week #so mann- now i cant barely talk for a week due to me not feeling comfortable to talk out loud to myself #cause if i do- i am fully sure my parents would talk to their parents about it and they just make fun of me-#man- asian families-- xDD ;W;

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vicsep7250 · 5 years

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@ren-amamiyaa and their (he/she?) Golden Heist, Thief Nanako and Cryptid Chaser aus flooded my brain and now Im making this post bc I cant fit all of this in asks!!!

All right, so, idea. Cryptid Chasers, Thief Nanako and Golden Heist are all connected righr???

CC acts as a prequel, TN becomes the inbetween starring Nanako and Akechi, and GH stars a broken and older IT and slightly jaded PT.

So far CC has Yosuke and Naoto forming the brotp that fanon wanted through silly Saturday Night Ghost Chasers Shenanigans, Akiren is bein' a lil shit at midnight bc he needs an outlet and exercise to Phantom Thief. While this goes on, Akechi's ghost/spirit/rement/heart/whatever pulls pranks and shenans along with Joker (hiwever that happens).

As the Cryptid Chasers keep going out of their way to confront Joker about Arsene (bc even he likes to mess around) the other IT in Inaba start to try and stop them from disrupting the peace (read : harassing a known criminal) and this somehow leads to a falling out. Mayhaps Naoto and Yosuke break a few laws and Chie busts them, Kanji wants to know why theyre stalking his student/protege, and Yukiko just wants to keep the rumors about the inn in check bc jfc Yosuke STOP SCREECHING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE LOBBY THERE IS NO GHOST ON THE TV!

Maybe eventually they call it quits or dont bc Naoto dug this hole too deep to climb out themself and Yosuke is having the time of his life since Partner isnt around and hasn't come back to visit yet (Not sayin' souyo is canon and there but-). And the Cryptid Chasers arc probably ends here with there being some animosity towards their shenanigans , but the IT are all still friends.

Now fast forward to like, uhhh (*flings dart at wall of calendars*) 2014 during winter and Akiren's cryptid acts are now fully accepted and maybe exposed, who knows. Nanako is like 10 ~ 12 (P5 is maybe three/five years post P4 I believe) and is just going through the motions of public education. I.E. go to class, do work, get good grades. Dojima is still the same as he was before Yu came but is at least doing better at being a dad, not much but better. Yosuke and Ted aren't around as much bc Junes, Chie is transferred to Tokyo, Yukiko is busy managing the Inn, and Kanji is busy with work (as a teacher and crafts business owner). Rise unfortunately cant come visit and Big Bro now visits every other year.

Nanako starts to look back and wonder how things started to fall apart amongst the group and recalls that "delinquent" who came back at the same time the Cryptid^tm showed up and ruined the group. So now she starts to remember the good times when Big Bro came by and starts to notice some blanks around winter... Why was she in the hospital when she got kidnapled? Why does she remember these weird flashes of Big Bro and his friends and some monster?? And how come she tried to ask them anything about it they brushed her off each time???

The TV in her room flashes and soon she starts hearing things. She starts to move closer to the tv, as if she was in some sort of trance, as the sounds start to become voices to her. When she's directly infront of the screen she sees something... someone on it...

Nanako doesnt show up for breakast, or to school, and nobody seems to have seen her.

A full year passes on after that day. It starts off with a big search party of the IT and Social Links for the first two months, then after ankther three something stange happens... are people forgetting that Nanako existed or something? Everybody's starting to act like completely different peoplw than who they are too, some even end up hospitalozed due to severe headaches and such, and start claiming that Nanako was never around when she vanished or that she left Inaba or was already deamed dead or missing. This rings alarms in the IT's mimds as they search for answers, eventually all fully reuniting for the first time in years/months.

Naoto and Yosuke blame themselves bc they piece together her disappearance with the Cryptid + Ghost case and immediately get scolded for trying to pin their stupid kids game on a missing person's case - especially now with Nanako missing and possibly in danger again! Afterwards the IT are a bit on edge and a bit broken with the whole thing. Meanwhile Akechi can hear the tale ends of "missing person" and "literal disappearnace" and starts looking into this weird limbo metaverse he's in bc some shit is kinda fucked in here now for some reason. They're pretty much only together as a team to rescue Nanako.

GH in the PTs POV starts when Akiren invites the group to the Amagi Inn thanks to licrative money grin- I mean training. He comes clean into having seen something weird on the tv one late night and wants to let the gang know.

Midnight rolls around and Akechi shows up on the screen and the Thieves losing their shit is an understatement - numerous noise complaints were filed that night. Anyways Akechi decides to just play the role of "hey moron, some shits fucked come help fix it" and ends up informing them of a missing girl and this weird TV Mementos world he is in.

I would like to note that Akechi is not at all bitter or confused at everyone's circumstances in life, no of course not Joker stop crying I know its been a while but shutup theres a kid in trouble rn and youre the only ones who can possibly help her.

When the PT figure out a plan to reach this other world Goro is in (Arsene : THOUARTTHEESTICKYOURHANDINTHETVDOITDOITDOITDOIT) the IT eventually come to the very sad conclusion that Nanako moght be in the TV world and that opens a whole can of worms and burnable bridges to cross.

While in the TV world, I'd like to imagine that due to Akechi having been there for a good while it has been shaped to reflect his heart and be the new overall theme of that world. It all still looks like Inaba, but it all holds themes to Akechi and his no good terrible life. However due to Nanako having been in that world as a kid, and now for an uncertain amount of time, the world now holds motifs to the Heaven area from P4, but it's all sorta ruined and kinda darker.

When both teams get together and enter the weird Tele-Mentos world (IT in a Junes storage and PT at either Ren's pad [bc he moved out obvi] (OR bith teams enter from seperate TVs at the Inn so SHENANS!)) Yu and the IT go through Akechi's influenced world/TV Palace, finding out about his tragic backstory and involvement with the PT, but anything that can and could reveal their true identities is blurred and staticy or missing bc Akechi aint gonna snitch out who ruined his sperm donors life (also I guess saved the world too yeah). While going through the Palace the Team starts to think that finding Goro will just be an "if it happens" sort of deal bc he's been missing for years already, what if we just leave him here bc M U R D E R E R.

Cue a sudden appearance by someone in some sort of fallen angel garb who starts whipping out a full on Metal Gear Villain monologue about how hypocritical the IT are when they find the truth about Akechi's life and disappearance - they claimed to want to live in a world where no one hides in the fig, was that all a lie? Are they going back on their word, and hiding behind a shriud of lies and falsehoods once more? "You've gone and lied and hidden the truth already, what's to say you won't continue?"

Meanwhile Akiren and the Thieves enter at the very top of the Heaven TV Set and have to climb all the way down. As they do so they start seeing little murals or epitaphs about memories and people in this girls life. They see all of these memories of a happy girl who had such a loving family - both found and by blood. As they go further and further down the ruins start to look like an actual Heaven, and the scenary becomes more bright and colorful. Eventually they might run into Crow in his Black Mask clothes and give the bastard a slug on the arm and a group hug or two, bc man he doesn't deserve to suffer anymore like this.

Now that the Phantom Thieves have been reunited (Akechi : I can't leave this world The PT : FUCK, MORE PLOT) they end up thinking up ways to get Akechi out until this weird angel priest looking dude shows up and starts babling about how they are criminals and how they've done more bad than good and blah blah blah. Everyone is just all "We're the good guys, we do the right thing even if its morally grey/ambiguous!" and oh look! Another crazed maniac wants to kill us for our "injustice" *Crow has the decency to look away and not say anything* annnnnnd Heaven is locked off. Perfect.

Now maybe the Phantom Thieves and Investigation Team run into each other somewhere in Akechi's Palace and "You have Personas?!?!" "The hell is a Palace?" "YOU'RE THE CRYPTID OF INABA!!?!?" "And Im the 'Ghost' that follows him." "Wait you followed me as a ghost?" "WAIT WHY ARE THERE TWO AKECHIS??!??!!"

Oh yeah, Shadows... Akechi is still kinda in denial about the whole friends and justice thing...

And now the Dark Priest is back great ("Good name Skull" "Well I've got my moments right?").

Annnnnnnd now I have no idea what happens next and Im all burned out but AAAAAAAAA this entire AU crossover thing is so GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

#persona #persona 5 #persona 4 #golden heist au #thief nanako au #cryptid chasers au #this is all one big idea made of a communities own ideas #its like the zelda timeline all over again #byt good!#ren-amamiyaa

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lenin-it-to-win-it · 5 years

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just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)”

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class”

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!!

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

#vent #rant #i sincerely doubt anyone will read to the end of this but whomst knows #besides it feels nice to just scream

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froggy-s-thought-s · 3 years

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#1 - 4/5/2021

Sup so I wanted to make a side blog so that i can talk about my day and what not because i dont want to talk about it on my main blog but i love to talk with people so I’ll be posting little updates like this one here and some other stuff like note taking or talking about whatever I want to talk about.

Today’s been okay; i woke up at 7:30am which was an hour before when my alarm is meant to go off and it’s like that because i have school tomorrow and i wake up at 5:30 so i have time to mentally prepare and such. It turns out my alarm was actually set for PM so i fixed it for tomorrow and I went back to sleep because i was still tired and I had a headache (which i could have fixed with a cup of water but i, again, was exhausted).

i got woken up around 9:40 i think? (i dont really remember) by my dad because i had an orthodontist appointment at.. a... time??? I (it was at like 10:30 i think) and then i got ready, went to the ortho’s offic got my wires off because i have braces and i needed to get a cleaning, i went home for a little while to which i put my bands in for like half and hour to an hour long because my teef hurt.

at around 11:30 i left for the dentist because i needed to get my teeth cleaned.. yknow.. the whole point of this excursion- and my teeth got picked at for what felt like an hour but was probably closer to only half an hour; and then the dentist who was working on me told me i need to brush my teeth more which made me kinda mad because i DO brush my teeth enough- i do it after everytime i eat but like oh well i didnt brush before i went because i didnt eat (still havent because im meant to wait an hour before eating or drinking and i got back at 1:11 and its probably safe to eat but ehhh.. and she also told me to floss which is acceptable because i never floss unless i feel like i have to which should be everyday but its usually just like every month or so which is bad ik but like.. eh

so anyway- im home now and i want to waste away my last day of spring break maybe i’ll watch the Han Solo movie and start the Rebels series because my brother got me into Star Wars and i really like it or maybe i’ll rewatch some of the Clone wars series? or maybe i’ll go the classic route and rewatch something MCU? because i was in the MCU fandom before the Star Wars one and i Hype fixated on Star Wars for a while but now im just kinda in two fandoms which has never happened to me before and im not sure if i like it.

i really like The Falcon and Winter Soldier series so far; i enjoy the framing, the characters and i love how its not all just nods to past works and filled to the brim with easter eggs (haha easter eggs) like how the movies are and dont get me wrong i love that kind of fast pase action but sometimes you just gotta stroll down a dirt road surrounded by flowers as your new rival rolls past you in a jeep(?).

Im probably going to post art or something here if i ever feel like i want to post art here; maybe this’ll be a little vent/updates thing and a little bit a fandom because i tie fandom into my everyday life because yeah!

I have another ortho appointment at 4:05 to get my wires back in and im prolly gonna be doing something else today so i’ll probably edit this later if i remember!! until then imma bounce

Edit 1 : i’ve just got back and i started crying, i had lunch at 2:20 pm and all i had was some bread, cheese-itz and diet dr pepper which isnt too bad considering how ive accidently missed lunch several times before but i also got back from the Ortho and now i straight up dont want to talk which isnt much of a vibe but here we are.

i wanna sit on a voice chat with one of my friends and sit in silence but the person i wanna do that with isnt here rn and she hasnt for the whole week cause its spring break and its making me stressy and i dont like it, i think im going to watch something i’ve watched before to comfort myself; maybe the Prequal movies again? thats only about 6-7 hours right?? as long as i dont get distracted it will only be about 12 ish once i finish when i account for being distracted and dinner...

that actually sounds really nice, imma go rewatch the entire prequal serise!! i feel a bit better already and i havent even started :)

Edit 2 : I watched episode one and gave up on finishing episode two so i started watching the 2003 Clone Wars show which is pretty good so far! my friend got back and Im much calmer now.

#mine #Froggy clowning on themself #life update

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wiener-blut · 6 years

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i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)

— what was your last…

1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao

— fave colours

12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways

23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future

24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖

26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely

28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days

30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn

33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago

35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips

36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)

37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?

38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear

39. blood type: 0 positive, i think

40. nicknames: Lily

41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen

42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them

45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding

46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that

50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao

51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens

— more general

52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay

53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u

54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet

55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face

56. want: to cuddle honestly

57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis

58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes

61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually

62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)

63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: probably

71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily

74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here

— do you believe in

75. yourself: ugh

76. miracles: i want to

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: i want to lol but no

79. angels: fuck yes

— misc

80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana

82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really

83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u

84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that

#tag thing #aaaa god that was so fun but a bit time consuming tbh lol

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twofxt · 7 years

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7 good things about me towards her -i met her parents and i am the first one -make her laugh -loving her? -give her all my attention when im in camp -always update her where ever i go (dont get to complacent) -i love to make her fat -making her smile without even trying 7 bad things about you towards her -trust issue -always putting words in her mouth -scold her vulgars everytime we fight -bully her -she can only have a small circle of friends -saying that i will but never did -always late for meet ups How to improve the bad things -shes loyal to me; but i never trust her -i got to stop thinking about my point of view and look at her point of view -control ur anger, everytime marah mengucap yat -stop bullying her dont make her sad, compliment her always -let her have fun; shes still young n free let her have go party as long she knows the limits. U must be ok with it. -stop making decision, and start doing them. Exp: saying that u will trust her but actually u never did. (If u try, then try harder yat -always be 15mins early, try to fetch her at the door step. Biar kita tnggu org jngn org tnggu kita -dont just say all this, DO IT!!!!! 7 good things about her -loyalty -show me that she love me -she dress n make up only for me -always shower me with her kisses -give me freedom -always makes me feel better in camp -good at being the perfect gf 7 bad things about her -ask me to trust her, but she never did show me how -too many guy friends and make me feel so insecure -always scold her friends about thier wrong doings -ego is way damn high to even notice -sense of urgency -send a video of herself singing to another guy -talking behing peoples back Ask her after this. What is her point of view. Talk things out. Let her go home when everything is fine. If she walks away. Chase after her, throw all ur ego away. Make sure she dont leave. Stop arguing and start learning ur mistakes yat. A girl like her is a girl worth suffering n fighting for. Trust urself. Believe in this. Yes everything is written, but without effort or trying. It wont go no where. Let her free but always remember to tie a knot, so she wont fly to far. Remind her, u always love her, u are her's, she is urs. Both of u got each other, i thanks 2 hand to clap. Be a better guy than u are now yat. Dont just say it. Do it. Read this everytime u feel down. I hope u will feel better. Cause a girl like her doesnt exist anymore. No other girl exist in you anymore. Its only her yat. Remember that. She make ur life way much better than it was before. She treats u like something she never took care of. Love over pride yat. Put ur pride away, put ur fame away. By the end of the end. Makesure its her u waking up to in the future. Makesure shes the one cooking ur breakfast vefore u go to work. Makesure it is her wearing cloths for ur kids. Love her like u never did. Shes worth it. Shes the one. Every time before u go home. Hug her as tight as possible. U wont not know when is the last yat. U will never know. Remember this day, where she want to leave u. Remember that u were so lost u didnt even know what to do. Remeber the day u ride alone with the blurry eyes, remember she mean everything to you its how u treat her n trust her. Love isnt only about showering her with kisses n hugs n updates. Love is showing her that u really care, u really need her in your life, trusting her. Dont be a fool yat. Dont be a fool again ok. Remember? U waited for her since 2230? And ur writing this at 0025? And u thought that she was walking but it was no one there? Remember how tired ur eyes is and a very bad headache ur having rn while typing this? Haha Remember? How confortable it is? When u hug her? The best pillow u ever hug? Dont make her leave, its never gonna be an option. Dont change for her. Change for urself. Change urself and u will treat her better. Love her like how u wanted her in the start, chase her. Greet her every morning, send her a selfie with ur annoying face n smile. Tell her to have a better day than yesterday, shes loves it. Love her for who she is yat. Sat 24th April 2017 12:32am

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citrus-feline · 7 years

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lets be real tho. depression? not getting any better. my fault? yeah. but uh. what do i fuckin do about that? all the shit i need to do to make my depression “better” is shit i can’t do cuz of the fuckin depression i got. im like tryin to think about ways around it and like dude i am making steps to try to get outta this pit but it really doesn’t seem to be working at all. the only things keeping me from sleeping all day is my dad and jordan. and even then its like still “hhhh i like. want to talk to you. but i also wanna nap...... nah, i should keep talking... its good for me...... *5 min later* hey im gonna go take a nap.”

like. i used to think that the absolute bottom of depression is suicide, but like, YEAH, i think about that stuff a lot, but im like. used to pushing those thoughts away. im easily in one of the worst depressions of my life rn and i’ve realized that, huh, maybe being depressed as fuck doesn’t require wanting to actively commit suicide every minute? like sure, i think things would be better if i did just like have a heart attack and died, but like. i’ve got systems about dealing with that now at this point in my life. i say that kinda shit and its like “yeah, thats true, but only for part of me. some things are really good, and i love people who love me back. it would be shitty for me to leave them like that”. like, i dunno man. part of how bad it is rn is my apathy with shit like suicidal thoughts. like, hey, i feel like hurting myself. whatever, im too depressed to get out of bed to do anything anyways.

like im not as bad as possible. i could never leave my room. and some days i don’t. but for the most part i make myself at least go upstairs and try to drink something and maybe eat if im up for it. i force myself to take my meds every day cuz i know im 1 million times worse without them, also i dont wanna deal with withdrawal headaches. i could like, avoid eating or taking meds all together. but that doesn’t mean im not bad. like. i can laugh and have fun with activities every now and then, but thats like the only thing keeping me from going completely numb. if it wasn’t for other people helping me laugh and gently pushing me to do stuff like shower and eat i would literally be my worst, lying in bed all day and leaving only to go to the bathroom.

i feel shitty about it, cuz i want to get better, i do. i just feel like i can’t. right now is a tough time for me where motivation is at an all time low. i might get a little excited and say “im gonna do this and this”, but inevitably i probably won’t do that unless someone else is there to push me. and even then i may still just give up. my depression will fuckin catch me when im having a good time, it will say “hey im here” and then my mood will just plummet again. ill be laughing and having fun talking to friends online but then BOOM, you’re sad as fuck. go take a nap, shithead. and i will. i go take a nap. even tho i know i shouldnt, i do. cuz like. what obligations do i have? in nearly all ways i am like the ultimate burden / freeloader. i try real hard to not feel shitty about it and like justify it with “you’re very mentally ill and can’t help it” or even “people like having you around” but like? fuck if i actually don’t believe that in the end.

i was talkin about hospitals today and like. i just thought. is that where i belong? i live my life like a very sick person. and i am “sick” in my own way, but is it really real? is it really justified for me to exist for the sake of existing? am i really okay with this? no, im not. but i would feel even worse if i made myself suffer by getting fired from another job. are things bad? in my environment, absolutely not. people support and love me and fucking do all this shit and take care of me for absolutely no gain for themselves, and yet i am still this fucking huge burden on the fucking lives of the people i care about. “you’re doing your best” “we love you” yeah, i know, and that just makes me feel worse, cuz you gotta love a shitty person like me who can’t do anything even when they are doing their fucking best.

this post went in a different direction than i expected, but whatever. im like. angry at myself now. i want to grit my teeth and fucking punch something. but if i do that i know ill feel worse cuz i do that shit where i always pull the punch last second, even if i REALLY don’t want to. my hesitation is what makes this all worse. if i had the nerve to commit to shit i feel like i wouldn’t be in the situation. even for shit that doesn’t matter like punching a fucking pillow, i can’t do that right. i try, fucking believe me, but that doesn’t matter. im still just shitty me living my life filled with great shit that i fail to appreciate. and its so easy to fucking say “yeah, it’s my depression” but is that really fucking true? or am i lying to myself so i don’t just wait in my bed until i die? its getting to the point where i can’t tell if its depression or my inherent weakness. is it the chemicals in my head, or is it actually me as a fucking person that is seriously fucked up? what if my brother is right and im just a fucking loser that makes the excuse of depression so i dont fucking kill myself right now? like, what the fuck? what am i doing? shit isnt bad at all for me, and yet here i fucking am, screaming into the void about how much i fucking hate myself.

i want to blame people for this. i want to blame my mom. i want to blame my sister. i want to blame my brother. i want to blame the kids at school. i want to fucking blame everyone for why im like this. but i think im just meant to be broken. does a god really exist if i live like this? is there really a plan for me? is there meaning to my life at all besides being a burden on the people i love? i want to run away just so they don’thave to fucking deal with me anymore. im such a waste of space time and money. i dont care if im a “good person”, does tha treally make it okay for me to just freeload and kill the people i love just by fucking existing? i iknow they love me, and ilove them too, more than youcan fucking imagine, but odes that really justify it? does that make it okay?

i keep thinking im okay with this, im getting used to being this fucked up shell of a human being, but im not. im not. im not im not im not im not. i hope that if i get ssi i might stop feeling like this, and i might believe that people actually want me around, because ill be able to carry my own price at least a little. but with how things are, i don’t know. i don’t fucking know. im so fucking scared. i want things to go well but i just know they wont. what happens if they dont believe me about my depression? what happens if they push me away and tell me to get off of my ass? will i? no. i’ll kill myself. its literally that fucking simple. but what kind of fucking nerve do i have to do that kind of shit? i DONT. im a piece of shit who is so fucking ruined that i can’t even kill myself. im such a fucking mess. i wish i didn’t have to be this way. i wish i was fucking normal. i wish i could live up to the expectations they had of me. i was so smart and talented. but now im just a shithead ranting on tumblr about how i want to die.

what the fuck is wrong with me

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lion-toe-beans · 7 years

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Tagged by the lovely @dylogger 😘 A - Age: 18 B - Biggest fear: uhhh idk man probably everyone realizing what a loser am i and leaving me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ C - Current time: aw fuck 4:00 am D - Drink you last had: some coke and im still shaking from all that sugar fack! E - Every day starts with: thinking up fic ideas and turning my phone on airplane mode so discord will chill F - Favorite song: uh rn Ive been replaying "Bad Things" by The Mowgli's so that probably? G - Ghosts, are they real: duh (wtf dee???theyre out there) H - Hometown: Homestead FL ;___; i wouldnt go back cause theres literally nothing to do there??? But thats always home gonna be home *literally lives like an hour drive away* xD I - In love with: my beautiful fronds ;D (and lance) J - Jealous of: people who can talk to other people with no problem like????? L - Last time you cried: friday but i teared up from some klance feels today M - Middle name: Aisleen >:P N - Number of siblings: uhhhh 3 on my mom's side, 2 on my dad's, 2 step sisters that i grew up with even tho my mom isnt married to my step dad anymore. (Then i got like 2 more step siblings when my mom remarried but that didnt work out) O - One wish: for infinite amount of wishes (I'd probably just wish for some rad art skills tbh cause im too lazy to practice everyday) P - Person you last called/texted: my bootiful friend @komaedaaaass Q - Questions you’re youre always asked: "do you have a headache?" By my stepmom whenever im just laying down or leave my hand on my head for longer than 2 seconds S - Song last sang: bitch im singing prayers right now jk i forgot T - Time you woke up: orz around 1:30 pm U - Underwear color: its like gray and pink V- Vacation destination: uhhh somewhere cool with friends?? W - Worst habit: not eating orz X - X-rays you’ve had: my spine for my weak ass scoliosis Y - Your favorite food: PEACH YOGURT FUCK Z - Zodiac sign: Virgo Im tagging @komaedaaaass @suckmyhd but you guys dont gotta do it if you dont want too ;P im going to sleep orz

#em talks shit #this was nice #i completely lost track of time so thanks #xD

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