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achliegh · 3 years

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Happy

Alright my chickpeas, my little garbanzo beans (Wtf am I even saying) I am here to bring you the “Happy we-did-it Ending”. This one was really difficult for me to write because when it comes to good endings my mind just calls them fake. Which… I mean this is fiction so why can’t it be happy. Sorry if this sucks I tried my best. Please Read at your own risk! This is a triggering fic.

Love, Your Trash Monster

CW/TW: Past Abusive relationship, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Attack, past age difference relationship (Illegal)

Part1 Part2 Part3

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Besides Luka, I made him up, don’t care for him tho

Leo's leg was bouncing uncontrollably, he and Sirius waited for Coach outside his office, He was grateful for Sirius like he felt indebted to him even though they only talked for maybe a half hour. He runs his hands through his hair for what feels like the millionth time.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” He didn’t mean to say it out loud but when his captain turned and gave him a soft look, he realized he did. He looked down at his hands in his lap and picked at a bandaid. It was one of the Hello Kitty ones Logan bought on accident. “I mean I have no proof of any of this happening, What if Coach thinks I just dislike Luka for no reason and am trying to ruin his life or something like that… It wouldn’t be the first time an adult hasn’t believed me. I mean, there's that double standard that “Men don’t get sexually abused and if they do they don’t cry about it” it's why I never even told Finn and Lo until a few weeks ago. I didn’t want them to think less of me.” He smiles a little at the bandaid he was messing with and thinks about how lucky he is that his boys still love him. “I’m so lucky”

“I get it.” Sirius looked up just in time to see Arthur walking towards them. He smiles a little and stands with Leo next to him.

They follow Arthur into his office and sit down.

“So, is this about all the concerned people who have been telling me something is wrong with Leo?” His brushy red eyebrow lifts and he crosses his arms leaning back in his chair. “I was also told by a little Russian bird that there was an argument in the locker room between you and Luka. Leo whatever is going on it has a lot of people worried.” He leaned forward and set his hands on the arms of his big office chair. “Leo, you know I treat everyone of my players like my sons.”

Leo takes a shaky breath and clutches his hands together tightly in his lap. Gulping down the fearful frog in his throat he meets Coaches eyes. “ What I'm going to tell you is something I’ve only told to a few people. I don’t have any proof anymore, but I need you to believe me Coach.” He feels Sirius put a hand on his arm as a comforting I’m here motion. He told Arthur and Sirius everything, not leaving out any detail that he was comfortable enough to share. It was everything from the good, loving parts of the relationship that made him sick to his stomach now. To the horribly, hellish parts of the relationship that made him choke on his own tears. Leo didn’t think much of it back then (he was a little preoccupied trying not to break) but he remembered that most of Luka and his friend would film things with Leo because they thought it was funny to see him suffer or to save for later to use as blackmail on anyone in the videos.

“Wait, you said he filmed these things?” Arthur, who had turned white as a ghost and had a furious glint in his eye, started drumming his fingers. “Do you think he would have kept these videos throughout the two years you’ve been apart.?

“I know for a fact he's kept them” They both look at him with wide eyes and a silent invitation to explain. “He would ask me if I wanted to see them… or remake them” Talking about all this as making him feel like he was gonna puke. He had a foul taste in my mouth. Arthur put his head in his hands, he's devastated that he let such a fucking asshole interact with his team. That he let his youngest player suffer like that.

Sirius had stood abruptly from his chair and was pacing behind Leo’s chair with his hand interlocked on the back of his neck. He exhales deeply, seething with anger. How could he let this go on so long, he had picked up on Leos habits because Remus had pointed out how similar the two of them were at times. He feels like he failed as a Captain for not doing something sooner.

“Is there anything we can do, Coach? I mean, can we at least fire him?” He stopped pacing and ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath as he looked at the young kid next to him. How was he so good at hiding his pain? People would say that Sirius was good at that too but everyone on the team has seen him crack and spiral. Leo was always this calm, collected, cool support. He acted so mature for being so young and it was all clicking in his head. Everything about this 19 year old goalie was formed from the love and support of his family, but also the hate and abuse from a lover. He has experienced more than most people on the same team as him that are older than him.

“We can fire him, and if we do call the police, they can seize his electronics. If he really does still have those videos they could lock him up for CP because you were underage at the time. Nothing is guaranteed though.” He's deep in though, sometime during the processing of everything Leo had told them he had grabbed his laptop and was furiously typing an email to the Lead of the Organization. He hit send and looked up to the two hockey players. “I’m going to talk to Mr. Godic and Luka together. I already had a meeting with Mr. Godric today about next year's fundraisers but this is a more important topic.” he stands up and looks at Leo “Thank you for telling me Nut. That was very brave of you” He smiles weakly and Ruffles Leo’s hair. “If you ever need anything just let me know, okay?” He nods towards Sirius and walks out the door to his meeting.

“We should get you home, your boys are waiting.” He smiles softly as Leo stands and is taken by surprise when Leo pulls him into a tight hug mumbling “thank you” into his shoulder.

Leo was so happy, he felt lighter than he has in the last two years. He gets squeezed by the man he wrapped himself around and laughs wetly. When they pull away they both wipe their eyes and smile at each other. This was a new chapter to both their lives.

Sirius dropped Leo off at home after a stop at a drive through for an ice cream cone (that he may or may not have dropped on Sirius’ floor and got an annoyed glare) he walked in the front door and was talked into a pile of limbs and smothering kisses. He laughed freely and kissed both his boys sweetly and conveyed so much love.

As the Cubs made dinner together and sang to a random playlist. Logan burned half the food and Finn dropped a third of it. Good thing Leo tripled the recipe so they had enough to eat for the night. Putting on a mind numbing cooking show they just waxed poetically about how much they love each other. Around 7:30 pm Leo's phone started vibrating and a picture of Arthur sleeping on the bus with Talker doing a thumbs up flashes on his screen.

“What happened?” He is very anxious about everything that could go wrong, all of that melted away when Arthur shared the news.

“He's been taken down to the station and his phone has been seized. He was angry when confronted and actually tried to take a swing at me before security was called. If this ends up going to court would you be able to, you know, stand trial. I mean telling your coach is one thing but a room of strangers is different. Especially because the media will be all over this case.”

Leo had to think about this, if he didn’t go and testify this case would only air on the local news. Then again, he could change people's lives. He could be a role model for people who are too afraid to tell about their experiences. That's worth more than anything. He may be shamed online but it doesn’t matter. He Needed to do this.

“Yeah, this is something I need to do.”

#leo knut #lumosinlove #logan tremblay #sirius black #finn o'hara #sweater weather #coast to coast

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neurosengarten · 4 years

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• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

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• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

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• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

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• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

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• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

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• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

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flying-elliska · 4 years

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Hey so I'm gonna confess I only watched season 3 and currently season 6 of skam fr so I was wondering why people hate so much season 4? Like I know most of remakes has failed to deliver but the amount of hate and criticism for imane season is very noticeable. Could you tell me why? 🥺

Hey ! So if you have watched s4 of the OG you know a lot of the problems started there : the love triangle that overshadows Sana's season centered on a white girl, this idea that you can solve racism and Islamophobia by just being nicer to each other, making Sana the bad guy and the messy plot, Isak trying to whitesplain prejudice and how to act to Sana, etc among other things. While Skam France did better in some aspects, it also made a lot of things worse. So specifically:

- I think a lot of the enormous disappointment is rooted in the fact that the first five episodes were pretty solid : Imane and Sofiane's cute courtship with him being very respectful of her boundaries, showing a loving Muslim family, bringing up some issues like racist microagressions that are rarely acknowledged on French TV etc. But after that the season really completely blew it.

- A core problem is how much time the love triangle takes. Sofiane decides to kiss and date Manon (one of her best friends!) right after Imane rejects him, which makes him seem very petty and mean. And Manon, whom Imane confided a lot of her issues and loneliness to earlier in the season, and has given signs she knows Imane is into Sofiane, just does noooothing, making her appear like a selfish, terrible friend. And then Charles, the rape apologist, appears, is violent, and we are just supposed to accept Manon getting back to him as a good thing? The storyline sucks up so much air and again makes Imane the bad guy by having her send the email to ask Charles to come back. (Not to mention we see Elu having trouble in the background but it’s never properly adressed either.)

- After which the girls turn their back on her. After a season of them being inconsiderate of Imane and regularly lowkey (or not) racist, this rightenousness is very hard to take. A lot of people hated the girl squad this season. After siding with Ingrid, who is repetitively racist, they never really properly apologize or show any real growth. On the contrary, in one of the most offensive scenes of the show, it's Imane who has to apologize and the girls' reconciliation with her is very bland and without them making any big effort. Microagressions are shown in a way that feel pretty relevant - but they’re never adressed, when Imane explains the root of why it’s an issue she’s told she’s too angry, and the white characters never actually show they’ve understood or that they want to do better. It’s on Imane’s shoulders to make an extraordinary effort to be the bigger person, and yes, while her faith teaches her forgiveness and high mindedness, it’s a very problematic way to show it because it puts all the responsibility for growth on her. It’s a pattern in media to show Black women as having to always take care of the white characters, be more accomodating and nurturing, shoulder their burdens, curb in their anger, etc, and it’s ...well, a racist trope. It should not be the burden of minorities to be patient with and educate their oppressors.

- On top of that I’ve read from several Muslim viewers that they felt the season didn’t show their faith with as much care as it should : Imane’s hijab is carelessly tied, her praying and faith in general is presented more as something constricting and a burden that prevents her from being happy, there aren’t many lived details of what the Muslim experience means, etc. Imane kissing Sofiane during Eïd no less was also very controversial. The trope of ‘Muslim girl falls for non-Muslim guy and has to let go of the strictness of her faith to be happy’ is also a trope the repetition is also very problematic, indicating this idea that Muslim women are oppressed by their faith and need to be ‘liberated’.

All in all, as I said before, as a white non-muslim fan I feel like I should talk about the problems but spare the vitriol and anger because some Black/Muslim fans did enjoy the season and it’s not up to me to decide if it’s good representation or not (and in fandoms that attitude often ends up being directed at the characters themselves or ignoring them completely which I also don’t think is good). There are no other main Hijabi Black women as main characters in French TV. And it does introduce some very lovable characters. Assa and Lais were very proud of their work and I feel we should also respect that. The season has the merit of starting a conversation that is almost never had in France, who is still very much stuck in ‘racism doesn’t exist if we don’t talk about it!!!’ mode. But in the end it’s a conversation that Skam France doesn’t know how to have, and it ends with the same platitudes as the OG, ‘everyone should be nice and kind and racism/islamophobia will be solved’ which is bullshit, because those things are deeply rooted in systems of oppression and they’re not solved by niceness, ever.

#skam france #skamfr s4 #imane bakhellal

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sanguinepeccatorum · 4 years

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OOC: Okay - Story time with Lyrieux.

Now - some of you will probably know that I have been experiencing hate across most of my blogs for years, all sent by one person; Rai. She has followed me for near enough eight years now and always managed to find my new blogs, no matter what I do to try and make it appear as if another blog isn’t me.

She has literally always been my stalker - she has always tossed nastiness at me whether through anon or not; the blogs she uses are deleted almost as soon as they are created; I’ve blocked blog after blog after blog but she always comes back.

Recently, Rai threatened to start sending messages to my followers, to people I interact with the most, to start giving bad word about me with the intent to turn those I adore away from me because they would associate me with receiving bullshit messages constantly. And I mean, it would have been CONSTANTLY. What happened to cause this? I hear you ask? Well, re-wind just over eight years and you will find an almost 17 year old me who had a blog or two on tumblr mainly for roleplay - I’d been doing it for a few years. Me and Rai clicked instantly on some blogs of ours and had a number of threads, used to stay up talking plots, the whole shebang. One day, when she asked if we could ship our muses, I said no - I just couldn’t see it, personally, wasn’t comfortable with it and then said that unrequited love kind of threads could be interesting to try.

Rai reacted explosively. All over her blog did she slate me, did she say how I lead her on with my character, how I had “betrayed” her. Honestly, it was massively petty and after all of the stress from it I just deleted my blog, never looked back. When I finally felt comfortable enough to return to Tumblr a few months later, I re-connected with a few old blogs and then carried on, with a new muse.

Not long after I started getting hate. Message after message, on and on and on and it really weighed on my mental health - when I made another blog, I would receive it there, too; it just spread. Like wildfire among all of my muses and I found myself deleting blogs and remaking them under a new URL just to try and escape it but it always found me again.

A few months after - the anonymous hater made a mistake and forgot to press the anon button - so an actual blog came through and once I looked, the writer was written as “Rai”. So I messages, asked if it was the same one; and I received a very nasty response.

Ever since, she has followed me, made new blogs so she could get through; gone as far as using her brother’s computer and internet connection to get through to me; over and over again. Eight years I have put up with this.

A recent call out from my precious beb over at @axgmented halted Rai in her tracks; I didn’t receive anything on any of my blogs for a while until the other day when more came through; that she wouldn’t target my other blogs if I promised I would delete this one, my Vincent Valentine muse and I’ll tell you, I nearly did it out of desperation for a conclusion. But I didn’t. Why should I?

Admittedly, I haven’t had much muse for him lately because of the hate sat in my inbox but then I reminded myself of all of the love and lovely messages that are in there, too, that I hoarded just to re-read when feeling low.

I emailed Tumblr support, thought it was an entirely lost cause; I explained my situation, how long it had been going and how I was desperate for her not to be able to reach me. This was about a week ago - and nothing has been received from Rai since. Nothing. Not on any of my blogs.

I don’t want to hold my breath - but I think I might actually be free from her. She’s gone. And slowly but surely I’m convincing myself to go back onto blogs I was frightened to log in to in fear of seeing what was in my inbox.

#TW: Anon Hate #A good ending tho

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nightkitchentarot · 4 years

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68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice

From Kevin Kelly, editor of Wired Magazine...

It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you.