#or we shared a brainwave ✨

[ahhrenata]

for @hamartia-grander ‘s fic Another Time 🧡

this scene in the epilogue got me 🙃 i love them.

#It’s funny cause I had been working on this sketch a couple of weeks ago and got distracted. then I read your epilogue and was like OH SHIT #that opening scene was so cute and i remembered i had this sketch so i ran to tweak it to fit #it was fate 💕 #or we shared a brainwave ✨ #it’s not exact to the scene of course 😅 #but same feels and vibes I hope #serennedy #leon kennedy #luis serra navarro #resident evil 4 #resident evil fanart #your fic was soooo good and I’m absolutely in love with it! #can’t wait for the next thing 🤩 #and again.. might not be the same looks you had in mind ( i could not for the life of me remember if Leon was blonde) #but its the brain image I got in mind #a little grown out blonde lol #and they might’ve been wearing clothes lol #but Leon with stubble.. here for it

[fangbeach]

I don't know how to explain this. Whatever happens to your brainwave state when it alters and shifts as you drift into sleep... I was drifting and Death Note style voice (keep in mind, I don't really watch this show often) popped into my head and showed me a moment from when I was 16 and my youth pastor came to see me in the hospital after trying to take every pill in my house to try to unalive myself. The voice is saying, "I'm a demon. I've known you since this point. He knew too, he just didn't want to say anything. We're here to have fun forever." This wasn't my voice. This wasn't my subconscious. This sounds pretty corny and cringe like disgruntled teenager's reddit post, but I'm just trying to recall this montage as sequentially as it happened. It sounds like the gritty backstory for a really shitty marvel movie.

This youth pastor told me that I was saying NO in an otherworldly voice getting my stomach pumped at the time. This is a real life thing that happened. Did I come into the world this way? How does this work karmically? I could've picked up a dark passenger. Maybe it can only talk to me in that natural altered brain wave state. It sounded calm like Death Note. It was alarming and calming. The fact that it was calming is what freaked me out. Dude, I don't know where I came from - none of us do really. But I had some milestones of existentialism at early ages and when I was a teenager I was really pissed off that I was incarnated. Really pissed off that I had to be here. Like I was here to crash a party.

Is this news to me as a possibility? Or motivation to make things as good as I can possibly make them. Demons torment. This one sounded comforting. There's not exactly a guidebook to consult for something like this. Especially not in the south.

What would Jung say? Even he supposedly had his fair share of occult-like experiences - being inhabited from forces of another plane ✨ (you're going to be all like, 'stoppp trying to normalize daemons and make them sound cool like you do with beer when you lie to yourself fammmm). I've seen some crazy stuff in your eyes too - so you were probably waiting for me to come to this realization too. The demon is probably pleased that I have enough willpower to take care of myself rn). I'm going to get some ultimate perspective with the lifestyle discipline.

"You're not going through it, it's going through you

And once it's all gone, in will come the new you

With a different perspective, from the same point of view

Fully unaffected by the old truth you once knew

Connected at the roots to the trunk to the branches

To the leaves and the way they fly away in wind dances

A frantic seesaw; free-fall in midair that represents

The floating folly of us all being here

We are complicated creatures, huh?"

Anything or anyone that tries to take the wheel from you in your life is not your friend tho. Demons are deceptive. They might be here to have fun and have a good time, but they're here to use your temple for their bidding while you sit idle in the passenger seat and peace TF out. I'm the perfect host. Mental illness and wrecked with insecurities to feed on.

I'm going to question everything for a little while.

#dreams #dream journal #analysis #sleep paralysis #subconscious #transformation #trauma #carl jung #shadow work #sleep alterations #death note #existentialism #KarmicJourney #DemonEncounter #spiritual journey #tumblr thoughts #PhilosophicalReflections #mental health awareness #deep thoughts #existential crisis #self discovery #inner journey #thought provoking #metaphysical #experience #darkpassenger #jungian psychology #theta waves #Youtube