#past opinions do not matter

[time-is-restored]

btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)

tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!

but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).

rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.

my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’

it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.

and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!

(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)

again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).

and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!

and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.

so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.

that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.

i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.

#this is the most measured version of this post i was capable of fghjskdjhgfdgjhsfd #the least measured one is just the aromantic flag with the ‘we are going to beat u to death’ meme overlaid #look ik this is hardly impartial wrt very small + insular communities like nuclear families #but its fucking impossible to go into media analysis and not bring Anything from ur real life in there w u #so im trying to forgive myself for being a little hashtag Vulnerable + Opinionated on main #in the spirit of what this show could’ve been lol #if not here then where etc etc #Ted lasso spoilers #Ted lasso meta #Ted lasso critical #also just to be clear here im being dead serious abt that last point #im spiritually doing the jamie run to demonstrate to u all how badly i want gen shit #please. p l e a s e . #okay wait last ramble here but. this is also why the lack of information we got on trent was so crushing to me #like ur telling me this man went through the incredibly painful + harrowing process of breaking out of his (comfortable! safe) shell + #cynical journalist persona. came out to someone VERY important in his life. and has done nothing but face the music wrt acknowleding #his past mistakes + endeavouring to be better and kinder. and we never get to know if he has ANY support through all that? at all? #is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period????? #like i can should must and will die on the beard + roy + higgins + colins are trents best friends hill but #its like the premise of the show stopped mattering just in time for him to be left in a legitimately depressing limbo #like 'yes everyone needs love + support bc life is rlly hard. but we're tired of making a show abt that so This Is All Ur Getting #+ screw anyone's personal life that u didn't already see in s1. You Know Enough.' #anyway i love u all this is a very silly show and im gonna go play t.o.t.k for a few hours o/ <3

[saetoru]

writers who only reblog their recs to a separate sideblog literally get the biggest side eye from me bc wdym u reblog peoples writing on a separate empty blog that no one follows instead of the blog where you have all the people to share it to. would it kill you to support other writers like yourself :/

#i have broken a few moots in the past for this bc #i refuse to support ur writing no matter how good it is if u don’t support other ppl’s writing #like i don’t specifically only reblog from ppl who reblog from me. i don’t expect all my moots to read my works but it won’t stop me from #reading theirs even if they don’t #but like if u just don’t support other writers in general #like an all encompassing in general #i won’t be helping spread ur work #and at that point what is the point of following u if i don’t even care for ur work #someone’s gonna get mad ab this #as they always do #someone’s always mad at me BUT I AM FIRM ON THIS OPINION

[chiropteracupola]

I am desperately hype for werewolf!Sharpe two of my favorite things in the whole wide world

yay and hooray! I too am greatly enjoying this one — here we ask the important question of 'what if Richard Sharpe was a werewolf, and more importantly, what if his daughter was too?'

this fic started out as a joke about Sean Bean's more recent role in the (amazing) film Wolfwalkers, where he plays a single father having a great deal of trouble over his own role as a soldier as well as in raising a daughter who is a werewolf, and in pondering that, I started to goof around about the potential of something similar to the plot of Wolfwalkers as a potential sequel to 'Sharpe's Enemy' and the subsequent films. and then things got out of hand.

“I’ll not raise an Englishman’s bastard pup,” said the old man, his voice made cold with disdain, and shoved Sharpe’s daughter ungently into her father’s arms. Sharpe nearly fumbled the child, all unexpected tangle of paws and tail and mewling mouth that she was. But Harper had a hand under his, and bundled her back into her father’s arms, tucking in the blanket that she’d been wrapped in. “Teresa — Teresa showed me our Antonia. She didn’t—“ “Didn’t look more like a wolf-cub than a little girl half the time? That’s your blood in her, that I know.” Sharpe’s breath caught in his throat — it had been his own damned enemy that had taken Teresa from him, and it was in that same moment that he’d evidently doomed his daughter to the same fate as his own. “Go on, get back to your war. You’ll not touch my family again.” “I can’t raise a baby on the march—“ said Sharpe, his voice a high keen of desperation. “Raise a wolf, then,” said the last man Teresa Moreno had trusted with her daughter, and shut the door in Sharpe’s face.

so it's a tale of having some kind of identity crisis about being a father and a widower and a werewolf all at once, and making that work out because he's really got no choice but to work through it (and also a tale of the Chosen Men being a strange little pack of sort-of-uncles and raising Antonia together!)

#em writes stuff #em is posting about sharpe #I fear that this one is going to be Quite long... we have arrived at something past four thousand words (v. long for me) and no end in sigh #also because I was not paying quite enough attention to the dialogue in enemy I got the seasonality in a mess #the episode is Set in the winter but filmed in the summer and all my descriptions are of an oak savannah summer #but honestly I do not think I will change them because I'm Liking the shapes of it too darn much to do so #altho' if you have an opinion on that matter do tell me of it (I'd be very interested to hear!)

[savage-rhi]

✨️Magenta✨️

#I've been really sad lately #its logical I've had a lot happen and a lot going on #and I've been mostly bedridden the past week cause of fibro flares #my brain can see the logic of why my body feels burnt out and why i feel anxious #but i also have this profound sense of loneliness that's been weighing on my chest #I feel the need to isolate and get away from people because it feels like it doesn't matter how much i try to blend in someone #will catch onto me being an “alien” or not quite fitting their mold or having a difference of opinion and i get bullied or ostracized #out of participating with folks or doing activities #and i get so overwhelmed by people and their literal energy/vibes that it feels as though I'm caught in a sneaker wave and being pulled #from shore and this is compounded on top of that feeling of being surrounded by people like tons of them who may even enjoy your company #but still feel very much isolated and alone the whole time #it could be winter triggering trauma responses in me due to childhood abuse related to the holidays #and then there's me trying to brainstorm how i can make money with my creativity when i have little to no help with anyone #and no one will give me a chance to bounce ideas and get a third persons opinion #its felt like this since i can remember: people value that i listen and reflect all the while show compassion #and then when i really need it myself and attempt to reach out i get the door shut in my face #it feels like the only people that have truly listened to me are therapists lmao and it hurts cause its like i gotta pay someone #just to listen to me go off on this idea i have for a side hustle a creative pursuit something i love #and i can't really share that with anyone irl because I'm supposed to be everyones therapist #and its shitty i dont get paid for it if thats the case lol #i feel like tumblr is the only spot I really have where i can share a lot of myself and make things that make others and myself happy #i don't know what id do without it #magenta is my safe word for venting #thanks for coming to my tedtalk as i write into the void #getting shit off my chest at 4am #i aint gettin no sleep cause of yall yall not gon get no sleep cause of meeee

[dandyshucks]

praying that this one artist i watch livestream doesn't ever look at my chat history bc i feel like I look really weird through it 😭 I have immense anxiety among other issues so I'll usually only manage to work up the nerve to send One (1) random msg in chat at some point during a stream and then immediately feel like I have done smth terribly wrong (even if I am just agreeing with everyone else in chat ???) and not be able to send anything else the entire rest of the stream

so my message history would just be like... one completely random comment per stream and nothing else and I feel like that probably looks really really strange fjfkdl

#its so awful bc I'm like... good at talking to ppl usually #or i CAN be good if I have the energy to do so #but a lot of my conversational skills revolve around asking ppl abt themselves and not saying my own things #bc thats all I've ever been able to do my entire life fjfkdl nobody has ever rly asked much abt me or taken an interest in me and my things #so when it comes to having my own opinions or ideas or whatnot... that's terrifying to try to communicate to other ppl fjdldl #it just sucks so bad bc i think i could get along very well w many ppl if i just... didnt feel like the worlds worst person to be around #today and yesterday have been difficult so my brain is biting me rn fjfkdl idk what is wrong w me these past couple days fjfkdl #there is no real evidence for it but i feel like everything I've said and done the past few days has been awful and wrong and mistakes ough #it will be okay fjfkdl it will pass eventually like it always does shfkdl it is just a matter of coping thru it and how long it'll last #sorry for a weird vent for this blog dnfkdl im just panicking a little for no apparent reason fjdksl #vent // #dandy.cmd

[j-esbian]

so so so fucking tired of people who perceive working in an office as the only “”real”” jobs

#the equivocation of ‘’professional’’ to ‘’white collar’’ #the way people treat those schedules as ‘’the normal one’’ when there’s millions of people working outside those #me every weekend for the past seven months: i only have sunday off #my friends ​every time we want to hang out: can we do saturday instead uwu #and just the disparaging attitude ‘’business culture ‘’ has towards literally any job #tbqh i would rather die than work in marketing and that is. from what i can tell. most of the jobs available #in an office setting #idk maybe this is my outside opinion but a lot of those jobs feel superfluous or like. making their own problems to solve #like that post about the leftist commune where everyone was like ‘i can do admin and project management’’. how is that useful #it just feels very much like the american ideal of ‘if you work very hard you can be a self made millionaire’ #is a lot more prevalent among that class #and like i know it’s also a matter of ‘i make more than you so i’m more important. skill issue’ #but idk i just have the perception that i’m ‘’supposed to’’ go into a field i have no interest in and i’m Doing Something Wrong #and making my life unnecessarily hard on myself. because i have no interest in it #rant paused bc i’m gonna be late to work if i keep going lol #mine

[deadm0ss]

parents willl yell at you and theyre right but could we not have had this conversation 5 hours ago when you got home instead of at 1am waking me up to scream. i understand i have nowhere to be so i'm worthless but girl you literally have work in 4 hours stop screaming for once and just fucking go back to bed

#also . she always gets up to do the dishes but cause it's one am and she literally wakes up to immediately march over there. #no glasses no contacts finger tips burnt past sensation. she does a absolutely shit job and half of this shit i dry scrub to get the stuff #you're wasting both of our times to tell me i'm a failure of a human who should kill himself in like. a hundred times the words #this could have been a email. at least then the aggressive comes cold and easy instead of in five different metaphors #really sucks when you're mentally ill in the “if i don't stop the screaming i'll fucking die” way and shes #“i need to kill everyone around me but the only way to vent is my at my son” #because everyone younger than 30 is a child who's opinion will never matter <- verbatim:/ #anyone 45-60 is a “real” adult but if she doesn't like them theyre useless and anyone older is too old to be worth talking too #she just fucking hates people

[starlooove]

What material gain do we have an LGBT community? Do you ask trans peopel what they materially gain from exclude cis people? Do you wonder why we have gay spaces?

It is BECAUSE of the current politcial landscape we should stop catering to our oppressors. Because a cishet person who happenst o ont feel sexual attraction demanding lgbt space, resources, support is in fact an oppressor.

Who is the real bitch here? The cishet making demands of those they oppress or the oppressed?

I said it in the tags last time but comparison answers don’t do much here because the question I’ve been asking is specifcally about ace/aro ppl in relation to the community. I wanna know what exactly excluding those specific people provides for the community. What resources, space, and support are they taking? I want to know the real negative impact they specifically cause that makes this amount of vitriol valid to you. Does it matter if you can’t even answer that without making comparisons to other members of the community? Is it that serious if you can’t provide physical issues they’re causing that’s not a vague “they’re taking resources.”

And not to be mean but if you’re the same anon you’re still very clearly the bitch here like between you getting that mad and a hypothetical “resource thief” I think the answer is lowk obvious

#i do have an opinion on the whole the community is everyone who’s not cishet thing #like Idk maybe I’m stuck in the past but I think the history #especially outside of the US #when it comes to exclusion involving kink race body shape etc. #i think that’s what’s made me jaded to exclusionary shit #like imo if it’s not physically targeting people irl I don’t think it’s deep enough to be this pressed #i was really ready to like form an opinion and I’m gonna research it regardless #but this interaction specifically just feels like ‘no kink at proud’ ‘no more trenders’ ‘neopronouns ruin everything’ #like i need to know why it’s that deep #matter of fact I don’t care what ur fighting against I wanna know what ur fighting for #how does the exclusions of ace or aro ppl uplift the community #oh and i was searching shit up and that post about ‘we don’t wanna see how much people hate us’ came up and I think if this person is too #pussy to come off anon imma just put my opinion in a post instead of a direct response #like that post was about trans women but also if I were in the position of what we were talking about I wouldn’t wanna see all that either #so like sorry anon u prolly lost ur feature 💔 #but yeah back to that thing I AM gonna research on this I wanna see if I can find like. essays or articles or smth as opposed to posts #and i always love reading on queer history so i wanna see if i can find shit from the past #but like i don’t think this person is gonna convince me sorry u wasted ur time anon #but the language and rhetoric u use is way to kalvin garrah esque for me imma just go find what I wanna find somewhere else 💀 #i feel like I don’t know enough about convos across different labels since I’m personally unlabeled #like It was those notes that made me realize I have no idea what’s going on and I can excuse ignorance but I can’t excuse willful ignorance #so Imma hit them books 💀 #if anyones got anything useful tentatively asking for it #but actually after this I think imma hold off on community response or whatever I got it #OH and to make it clear those questions up there are not at all rhetorical or sarcastic that’s shit I genuinely ask myself all the time #like that’s genuinely what I want an answer to adress #but beggars can’t be choosers and all that #except I literally Can the internet is at my fingertips #i am not fixing those typos

[chooey]

just finished breaking bad

#spoilers ahead so! tread lightly #breaking bad #bc i binged a lot of this show some episodes do not stick out to me like i cant tell u what happened on which episode or even which season #the naz!s were so left field like i think the story would still be the same without the hooked cross tattoos #it was surprising how the drug cartel or whatever didnt have much involvement in s5. like why did i think for sure theyd relocate to mexico #a follow up wouldve been nice is all im saying #OK. characters! my fav were mike jesse gus skyler and saul. hated walt literally since day 1. didnt change much up until the end #listen i can understand the concept of characters being morally bankrupt egotistical narcissistic abusive and manipulative #but walt was just . not charming enough a character to do it sorry he is what he is. sorry to him but i cannot stand him #i can appreciate some of his monologues though! fly (episode) was great for that the show needed it at least in my opinion #i like that all the characters are fundamentally flawed ! walt is at his core insufferable but he makes a good tragic story👍🏼 #hank was so stupid like? 😭 when lab equipment from walt's school were stolen i thought that'd be it lollll #it was well written for the most part i think!!!!! some parts needed suspension of disbelief but whatever yk #what matters to me the most is whether i cried or not and yeah. yeah i did cry!!!!!! so what!!!!!!!!! #THEMES. obv theres change/corruption... power and abuse of power. toxic masculinity? and family. living life to the fullest if ur insane #also!!! just finished el camino and i liked it! simple story but i like the themes in it. this man's been through so much #jesse was point blank a victim of abuse and im glad he gets to leave the past behind and move forward with his life #owned up to the choices that gotten him up to this point. had control over his life again and building a new future for himself #very cool. also the ending of brba? i think it's good enough i mean i cant think of anything more fitting #but man did he do some incredible... maybe irreparable damage to his family huh. midlife crisis things <3 #i hope they heal <3 somehow <3 #wait about the themes too in brba!! one is reaching ur full potential... again if ur insane #idk maybe sometimes it's ok to flop. just as long as ur enjoying ur life and ur happy... i think that's fine! walt u and i will never agree #izza💭

[karmanticmoved]

< being so so normal about eichi inside my brain right now (lying)

#tw just dont read the tags imbeing insane and talking abt some of the fucked up shit in enstars uh. well. #.txt #u #help me free me from my brain . jts so loud in here #d. do . whhhhhHhH #okay. #abled people dont know eichi the way i do. nobody knows him the way i do. idc abt canon whatever. my thoughts are right #i think shu is significantly more morally reprehensible than eichi. sorry #eichi fucked up more significantly but with good intent and without . social awareness or innate empathy to 'correct' him. he Did That Shjt #but well. the childhood trauma and No social skills and the fear that any day could be his last and that nothing he could do would matter. #i think he managed to manipulate himself into taking a messier. route to Fixing things. ermmm anywayyy #shu .. sure does have a lot of problems. why did he straight up abuse nazuna. #and poor mika. sorry. i wont shame anyone for liking shu bc in theory hes a really fun character #i just cant get past the whole eating disorder part. it makes me feel gross :( #OTHER PPL DONT HAVE TO LIKE EICHI but im just saying . wataru is . well jn love with him. w the similarities and parallels #between eichi and rei i believe that rei has forgiven him to some extent and does care abt him. and kanata doesnt like him but #respects him as an idol and that he did change most things for the better overall #meanwhile shu is still angry but also he sucks sorry i dont really respect his opinions on the matter #and natsume is still pissed too but he makes more sense bc he escaped most of the damage so hes mad FOR the ppl he cares abt. #i understand him i love him i accept <3 him as he js #anyway x4 umm. um. hm. eichi also did . intentionally leave rules and systems in place to allow further 'revolution' against Himself #to completely fix. the issues. he likes having control but i dont think he truly wants to be an 'emperor'. #when you are going your whole life prepared to die at any moment i imagine there is comfort in having control over other things because #you have absolutely no control over your own life. #sorry im normal #dont read these tags im being embarrassing if you read this no you didnt

[joekabox]

Waiting for Scarlet and Violet to come out, be really good, fun, and otherwise enjoyable - perhaps even being in many people's top Pokemon games lists - and be treated like hot garbage anyway because of reasons that are subjective to personal taste but deemed 'game killers' regardless.

You know...like Sword and Shield.

#pokemon has many issues #but I'm super tired of the ones often brought up by 'fans' often being subjective things that don't determine quality of game to all #make complaints about rushed game development and hardship on workers #complain about prioritizing paid features over core game inclusions #not that the game isn't exactly how you want it to be so obviously it's bad and nobody can enjoy it #sorry that I'm salty #Pokemon has legitimately become a painful thing for me a lot of the time #due to the way people have talked to me in the past about how I enjoy it despite what they think is flawed about it #you are allowed to hate pokemon as much as you want for whatever reason you want you do you please I encourage it #but don't talk to me like I'm part of the problem when I'm getting what I asked for because I'm a fan too and my opinion matters too

[causticsunshine]

.

#thinking about finishing my 1d fics again and while with one super old wip i figured out how to write it sans heavy ot5 friendship dynamic #the two sequel fics for ‘swear i’ve known you since forever’ in ATSCO series…. oooh i fear i am Fucked #it’s not that i have beef with ot5 fic really it just feels weird for me personally to be writing it so #heavy handedly this many years on? and controversial take mayhaps but there are still plenty super involved ot5 fans out there putting out #mmm weird vibes? delusional even? not all of them ofc #but enough that i’ve seen especially on twitter and iii don’t want the association just bc i kept the dynamic in a fic i wrote lmao #(also i have some thoughts and opinions on things and people i did not have in the past too so! that doesn’t help) #i think for ATSCO i’m just gonna have to commit because i am Not rethinking a whole new plot for that series 4 years down the line #especially after i rewrote the whole plot like 5 times as well as the first fic in the series several more times as well….. #i’m not doing it again!! i’m not!! so if i DO finish either one of these fics specifically. please know if ot5 element stays in #moreso in ATSCO than the other one which has remained a secret 4 years on #know what i stand for and who i am… i know this matters to few but me but i’m putting it out there nonetheless #it’s still gonna be a hot minute before any fics get finished bc where my interests are rn and my focusing on art but! i stand by my word #and my fics are still intended to be completed! #(also sidenote i am. no longer replying to any update inquiries on here or ao3! i’ve already said why in the past that they #stress me out rather than encourage me so i’m gonna leave it at that! i honestly might even start to delete them from my inbox / comments #just because they get to me that bad like i literally avoid ao3 because of it so. yeah! pls don’t send me update inquiries <3) #alex talks

[airenyah]

.

#i've had some some uh. thoughts. about last twilight #possibly some unpopular opinions even that i haven't mentioned so far bc i couldn't be bothered #and also bc i don't know enough about being blind to confidently state my opinions on the matter in question #but over the last few episodes i've definitely had some questions that i'd absolutely love to ask some actual blind people #the fact that i've been watching matthew and paul's videos on instagram over the past few months doesn't help either tbh #bc i'll see the way paul goes about his day and then i watch last twilight and see how day is portrayed and i just go I HAVE QUESTIONS #i sometimes wonder what matthew and paul would think of last twilight tbh like. i wonder what their opinion would be #what would they love about it? what would they be able to relate to? what would strike them as odd? that kinda stuff. i wanna knowwww #anyway if you're reading this do go check out matthew and paul (and mr. maple the goodest doggo) <3 #they're fun and their vids are also informative about the daily life of a legally blind person #tag geplapper #adrm #another thing is like. sometimes the show just feels a little TOO dramatized to me in a way that... idk it's a bit uncomfortable somehow #and now with the preview about the eye transplant and day maybe seeing again? uh. #not sure how i feel about this? #but also i'm not blind nor am i friends with any blind people so idk!!! would love to discuss this with a blind person tbh #anyway there i said it. a little bit at least #i have not yet talked about. the pebbles #or the house #anyway bye

[binoculares]

I think my self esteem is at an all time low now that I started working in a company, which is crazy cus I was fat and ugly in middle school

#I just feel so sad cus I thought I was past of feeling ugly. but every time I feel good about myself someone tells me I shouldn’t #and I don’t want their opinions to matter. they don’t really. but that plus me feeling so deeply alone makes my brain connect the dots #I’m unlovable cus I’m ugly #but then I go. ugly people are loved. it doesn’t even matter at the end #so then I go OH so it’s me it’s my personality it’s cus I’m empty and people can sense the wrongness pouring out of my pores #there is really no one that has seen me or known me and thought she is worth the effort #LMAO #pathetic musings. really exposing my need for validation #whatever. I know I have to focus on myself but I’m depressed and so tired I just want to sleep all day #ALSO. I like being light and funny but I act way too dumb and people really do not respect me I think lmao. Agh

[lolexjpg]

fuck i forgot 2 text my friend back she's telling me abt her new boyfriend and i'm like NOPE sorry way to busy posting porn on the internet ttyl

#i will text her back 2moro i think. its past midnight now #she keeps. its the second time shes shown me a picture of him like 'well /i/ think he's very handsome' like #babes we met on a women only dating site idk what u want from me here #pls do not seek validation in your taste in men from me i am NOT the bitch for it #running theory for me re: attraction to men is i think i'm somewhere on the demi spectrum for guys? so yeah i'm not gonna have anything #2 say abt your boyfriend i dont know. but my opinion doesnt matter!! if you think he's cute good for u girl #ALSO i will reply to fic comments 2moro i am too sweepy but ily #she speaks

[catididnt]

The always weird feel when a program/game makes changes and the older players (gatekeepers) kick up a fuss about how it changes things regardless how bitterly people (general, perhaps not them) complained about how it used to be set up.

It is interesting to see the different approaches to how the game is played via these complaints. Things it doesn't even occur to me to notice are really important to them

#I don't understand why changing the start of the game matters to them? #they are very far past it and there's so many other places but if you're a newbie you don't need that big of a challenge #(and it's been a complaint here and there about how hard the start is when later parts aren't that much harder) #and now we're going off about never used inventory items being nixed and HOW DARE #it's funny because I do keep all these inventory mementos but I'd have never have known (and also I'm really really glad a bunch are gone) #idk - if it's too easy then maybe not for you? why do you care if you're so far past that point anyway? oh no - those challenges are gone! #you will never notice and there is more than enough to keep someone slower playing #anyway I am done vague bitching and will do something more productive #(this is why i'm not on the discord because all those overachievers hang out and bitch there and Will Not accept opposing opinions)