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phillipcole · 2 years

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Post-AGT Appearance 1196: Good Morning America May 10

In the second segment today Good Morning America would feature an interview I would have taped the previous afternoon. The interview would be only about the movie. Robin Roberts would have been disappointed she could only talk about the movie, hoping to get me in trouble with political controversy. I would also be unhappy but need the movie to succeed. George Stephanopoulus would introduce it.

Stephanopoulus: Welcome back to Good Morning America. Today we continue our series on movies coming out this summer. Robin Roberts interviews comedian and actor Phil Cole about his upcoming film The Cheerleader Killings, due out in theaters June 3.

(Tape begins.)

Roberts: Coming out June 3 is a new mystery thriller from producer Phil Cole, who joins me today. The movie is called...

(Tape begins.)

McConaghey: The Cheerleader killings.

Agron: The cheerleader Killings.

Holland: The Cheerleader Killings.

Schumer: The Cheerleader Killings.

Rogen: The Cheerleader Killings.

Cassidy: The Cheerleader Killings.

(Tape Ends.)

Roberts: If you haven’t guessed by now the movie is called The Cheerleader Killings. Phil Cole, welcome to Good Morning America.

PBC: Thank you, nice to be here.

Roberts: So Phil, was The Cheerleader Killings entirely your own production and how many killings are there?

PBC: I won’t tell you how many, but at least 2, ha ha.

Roberts: You’re listed as producer, director, actor, writer, casting director. Did you do everything?

PBC: I’m the executive producer, so I paid most of the bills. I told people where to sit or stand in the scenes I’m in. That makes me a director. I’m in 2 or 3 scenes, more than Alfred Hitchcock, less than Woody Allen generally. I picked a lot of the principal actors, especially the ones I used before.

Roberts: Matthew McConaghey, Tom Holland, Amy Schumer, Katie Cassidy all returning.

PBC: Don’t forget Haley Pine. I love that girl. I think I want her in every movie I make for life now.

Roberts: So tell us a little about the movie, besides the obvious title.

PBC: So this is about the cheerleader squad for the Los Angeles Bams. In addition to the murders, which Matthew McConaghey has to investigate, there are all kinds of other issues going on among the suspects.

Roberts: What type of detective does McConaghey play?

PBC: That’s where people will know if our directing team was any good or not. I think he wanted to do a parody of McCloud but we wouldn’t let him. If anyone sees this film and compares him with any of the classical detectives we have failed. He’s just an average detective trying to sort out a complicated situation.

Roberts: And is the story similar to anything we’ve seen before?

PBC: The closest would be like the Charlie Chan movies of the 1930s and 1940s, except that neither the villains nor the hero is genius in any way.

Roberts: So the movie comes out June 3, and what lies ahead for Phil Cole and his Variety Team?

PBC: That’s Phillip and Cole’s Variety Team, and the big news is that Phillip is feeling much better and plans to join us on our fall tour of the southwest.

Roberts: And the reason he was sick is a topic for another day.

PBC: I hope we can talk about that soon.

Roberts: Thank you. The movie is called the Cheerleader Killings, in theaters everywhere starting June 3.

#Robin Roberts #matthew mcconaughey #mccloud

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boxingego · 7 years

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#EGOImpression Comedian Michael Blackson has a run with that Bronze Moddasucka WBC Heavyweight Champion Deontay Wilder after his show. 😂😭😂😂😂😂😂 #IJustABeechAssNegga #YoungNeega #HeavyweightNeega #WBC #Champ #DeontayWilder #Boxing #Comedy #Lmao #Parody #Skit #MichaelBlackson #Comedian #BombZquad #WilderWawrzyk #PBC #Alabama #Impression #EGO #boxingego

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meatspinrecs-blog · 7 years

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This Saturday night in ol Sydney town!

~~~~~~~~~What is?~~~~~~~~~

A four band bill of the new and strange in the basement of the PBC? A celebration of the flurry of new Sydney punk bands playing their first shows in Spring? A celebration of MTS@@1, an LP due January 2018 on Meatspin (and announcing this week)? ~~~~What does it sound like?~~~~ Tim & The Boys? Sydney's favourite drum machine driven subverts. The core three members have been mixing harsh punk vocals with affected hooks and unsettling electronics for two years now, but recent live shows are spiralling out of control to add guesting synths and saxophone. Come for the stolen spice girls lyrics, stay for the parody of harmful white male culture! BB & The Blips? Second show for a new five-piece punk band featuring members of Good Throb (UK), Housewives, Hunger (UK) and Dry Finish, sounding somewhere between the four of those bands. Come for the good-time murder punk, stay for the new Sydney oi! Exposure? New Sydney death rock! Evocative anarcho nightmares meets the goth energies of recent bands like Belgrado or NUN. Come for the horror movie synths, stay for the hooks! Fatalitas? Harsh industrial wasteland punk brutally frankensteining half of Death Church (RIP) with a coupla british punk intruders. Come for the thuggish riffs, stay for the theremin! ~~~~~~What does it look like?~~~~~~ $10 on the door in the best basement room in town?

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thaprinceblog · 7 years

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youtube

If Michael Jackson Was a Mumble Rapper

#MICHAEL JACKSON #MICHAEL TRAPSON #LOL #PARODY #HIPHOP #HIP HOP #RAP #THA PRINCE BLOG #THAPRINCEBLOG #THA PRINCE #BLOG #PBC #MJ #23

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phillipcole · 7 years

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Post-AGT Appearance 792: Scott Shannon in the Morning April 24

Lots of shows would use the clip and quote and demand an interview. By Monday we would decide only Fox News would be worthy of an on-air interview and I would be rehearsing when Scott Shannon called early Monday. The interview would be tight and uncomfortable for both of us. My songs would all sink last week with My Homeland at 15, the John Williams Medley at 19 and Please vote for Avonelle 29.

Shannon: That of course was My Homeland, sung to the famous Titanic theme by Celine Dion and our weekly guest Phil Cole, who joins us now. How’s the song doing, Phil?

PBC: Like the Titanic, slowly sinking: 15th this week.

Shannon: Any good news on other fronts?

PBC: No, no good news anywhere.

Shannon: Everything’s going in the wrong direction, huh?

PBC: Even my blood pressure.

Shannon: And uh...you’ve gotten yourself into a little trouble now.

PBC: Again!

Shannon: Do you attribute the drop in your songs to the bad news?

PBC: We don’t know. It doesn’t usually hurt anyone else, does it?

Shannon: Bill Cosby maybe.

PBC: Maybe, but that was overkill. He’s old and tired anyway. I don’t really see why anyone should care much about this though.

Shannon: You really think Roger Ailes had a harem going at Fox News?

PBC: I don’t know who did what. I just know that before I started going impotent I got horny watching those girls give the news. It’s no surprise! Rupert Murdoch owns a newspaper with a topless woman every day, and not because she got a Nobel Prize.

Shannon: Ha ha ha.

PBC: The local news is like that too: women in miniskirts standing up. We used to have a thick desk in front of every anchor. Walter Cronkite might have been bottomless for 15 years.

Shannon: Ha ha ha that would be quite a sight.

PBC: Maybe that’s why they made him retire. The lice from his pubic hair was...were...biting other reporters.

Shannon: Oh man, the imagery is tough to take on morning radio.

PBC: Don’t get mad. I’m sure he had his pants on. Now Barbara Walters...

Shannon: Oh no!

PBC: I’m not accusing her of anything Joan Rivers didn’t out her for. Seriously I have to talk to someone from Fox News this week. I don’t know who they’re going to sic on me...but at least it won’t be Bill O’Reilly.

Shannon: Ha ha ha ha ha do you think there is any truth to the harassment comments?

PBC: O’reilly is 65 years old. Back then most men had primitive, almost primordial thoughts about women. Fox only hired men who still thought that way. They built an audience of people who think that way. I suspect it’s a surprise one of the women got tired of it.

Shannon: Do you think he’s guilty?

PBC: Guilty of what? Bill Clinton got cleared because he promoted the only woman who refused to have sex with him. O’Reilly could only do so much for a newswriter’s career. If he called someone honey, dear, sweetie or hotlegs that better not be judged harassment or everyone’s guilty.

Shannon: Alright, any comments on news items, such as noteworthy obituaries?

PBC: You’re hoping I’ll have a bunch of jokes about someone so you can be first to broadcast my Don Rickles jokes. Let me say, I hope I never make a joke about Erin Moran. That’s just a sad story about how Hollywood corrupts, misperceptions about fame and wealth and everything sad top to bottom.

Shannon: Indeed.

PBC: Brad here has a sad musical comment about Geta Propescu, the 14-year-old mountaineer killed in an avalanche.

Shannon: Oh my.

Brad: The poor mountaineer barely lived and now he’s dead.

Shannon: To the Beverly Hillbillies theme. I was thinking more about former Patriot Aaron Hernandez.

PBC: That’s a tough one isn’t it. Cole has a song. We’re not supposed to do parody songs before the last Avonelle song was released, but...sometimes creativity is impossible to ignore. So Cole will do this week’s routine.; It’s just random jokes about current events. I hope we don’t get in more trouble.

Shannon: Am I supposed to interact this week?

PBC: If you want to.. Take it Brad, I mean Cole.

Cole: Thanks, Someone told me a radio station celebrated Aaron Hernandez' death with "Hey hey hey goodbye." The trouble is that works for anything you're getting rid of (soon enough the Bruins). "Ding Dong the witch is dead" works for many deaths too. Hernandez should be released through a classic tune totally rewritten. I'm working on "If I only had a brain." Another that came to mind was Fernando. The best soon reached me: Lady Madonna.

Aaron Hernadez, after the verdict they did reach, killed himself in his jail cell. Now what does that teach? Aaron Hernandez, choking to death in his cell. Do you think God will forgive him now or is he in Hell? Attorney Baez calls foul play and he should know. But all that monster thinks about is making more dough.

Oh, look at all the evil people. Oh, look at all the evil people.

All the evil people, where do they all come from? All the evil people, where do they all belong?

Shannon: Wow!

Cole: Thank you. The oldest person alive died last week at 117. Yer gettin’ closer, Scott.

Shannon: Oh!

Cole: Bush senior is in the hospital again. It looks like he’ll be ok but President Trump’s hopin’ he’ll go now on accounta givin’ him a good sendoff’ll be the highlight of his first 100 days.

Shannon: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Cole: Phil here set his birthday, this Friday if anyone wants to send a gift, like maybe a flotation device for all them songs sinkin’ down the chart.

Shannon: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Cole: Anyways he set that as the over/under for Trump gettin’ his whole cabinet in place. That ain’t gonna happen. What the big deal about the first hundred days anyways. Granpa Cole here remembers somethin’.

102-Year-Old: Calvin Coolidge did nothing his first 100, 200 300 or 400 days. Then as he got close to 500 he finally did something. He won the next election. When he left 4 years later that was still the only thing he did.

Cole: So keep on doin’ nothin’ Mr. President. I’ll reckon we’ll all feel better if you do.

Shannon: Is that it?

Cole: One more thing. This here’s the start of the NHL and NBA playoffs. That’s when teams that never had a chance anyway fall out faster than the first 8 Republicans in last year’s primaries.

Shannon: Very well! Good luck with your Fox interview.

PBC: Thanks.

Shannon: That was Phil Cole. I’m Scott Shannon. Stay tuned for more great hits.

#Scott Shannon #the beatles #Aaron Hernandez

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phillipcole · 4 years

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Post-AGT Appearance 1077: The Fitz Morning Show KNUC 98.9 fm March 26

After a long delay my agent would finally get me an interview with Fitz. His morning show airs on 20 radio stations, including Seattle’s KNUC. Fitz would lead in to the interview with another portion of my Youtube video, featuring an old country tune.

PBC: I’ve got corona virus now. I think I do.

Better get a checkup. I might have given it to you.

I’ve got chills and fever and confined to my bed,

And don’t be surprised if soon you hear I’m dead.

Fitz: Well, that wasn’t very cheerful was it? But it’s on a Youtube video called Laugh yourself to Health by entertainer Phil Cole. Phil’s got some big hits playing now, but you wouldn’t know it because Hank Williams III does the singing. In any case, Phil’s a very talented writer of jokes and songs and he joins us now from his home in Garden Grove, California. Phil, how are you?

PBC: I’m doing well. How is your family?

Fitz: So far so good, thank Goodness. Nobody you know has the corona virus?

PBC: Not yet.

Fitz: Glad to hear that. Well, Phil, you did this video the other night. It’s got a playing time of 34 minutes and 12 seconds.

PBC: You counted ha ha.

Fitz: Is that the routine you’d be doing on stage these dayas if they let you?

PBC: More of a rehearsal.

Fitz: I opened the segment with your parody of an old Buck Owens song: Tiger by the Tail. Why did you choose that song to adapt?

PBC: That came to me almost immediately. Remember the original lyrics are about sickness.

I’m losin’ weight and I’m turnin’ mighty pale.

So that makes it one of the few songs about a sick man.

Fitz: Were you a Buck Owens fan growing up?

PBC: Yes, starting with Hee Haw, but that song was out before Hee Haw and I thought it was a super hero song of some kind.

Fitz: Ha ha ha ha ha took it literally.

PBC: Sure did! I’m surprised no one did a good skit about that. It would have to be animated, of course.

Fitz: A real tiger by the tail...oh yes. Well, Phil, it’s hard to believe that you can do lighthearted comedy, but also write sensitive songs like this one. Let’s take a listen to Phil’s current hit with Hank Williams III. It’s called Forever’s getting closer every Day.

#fitz #buck owens #covid19

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phillipcole · 7 years

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Post-AGT Appearance 790: Daily Show with Trevor Noah April 20

It would be difficult for me to get on the Daily Show by this point. They don’t allow standups to perform their routines and rarely present standups in interviews as Carson did often. They would not take me as a singer without a duet partner for an active song. So we would have booked this appearances months in advance expecting to perform with a very recent new duet. With My Homeland losing ground and the others advancing slowly that would not be worth the effort, so I would end up alone with no preplanned agenda, just answering questions about any active topic. Except for the slower pace of the Trump administration most recent events would be as they are.

Noah: welcome back! Our next guest is an enigma inside a riddle with 2 obscure jokes probably hidden somewhere. He’s an 8-man team but an individual unlike any alive. Welcome to the show Phil Cole!

PBC: Thank you! wow!

Noah: Well, where do I begin?

PBC: Start anywhere. I’ll catch up.

Noah: First of all, I have to mention the elephant in the room.

PBC: Chris Christie’s here?

Noah: Not quite. You’re being sued by Woody Allen.

PBC: Not quite a law suit, a cease and desist order for one of my characters.

Noah: Norbert Adams, the unluckiest man in the world.

(They flash a photo.)

Noah: He looks a lot like you.

PBC: He is me, with a weaker voice and asthma.

Noah: So why does Woody Allen think you stole his act?

PBC: I lived his act. That’s what I did.

Noah: So how are you coping with the situation?

PBC: Norbert is inactive but I’m not.

Noah: And for those of you who don’t know, how are all your characters doing?

PBC: Ford the Tennessee judge is in Washington, applying for every federal judge vacancy. Phillip’s out sick, but his vitals improved a bit yesterday when we told him Aaron Hernandez was dead.

Noah: And...do you have thoughts on that situation?

PBC: I don’t believe it was suicide, but I wasn’t there. Anyways Tzoakar Tsarnaev is still alive waiting to be executed. The marathon was fine.

Noah: You approve of the death penalty?

PBC: Yes, and not a long time waiting for it either. He might get the flu 15 times first and we shouldn’t waste aspirin.

Noah: Ha ha, so do you approve of the new administration’s travel ban, cabinet picks, things like that.

PBC: I’ve promised not to uh...not to comment on little details and certainly not joke about them. Big things like World War III: that I can mention.

Noah: But your greatest success is in political songs about your wife’s cousin.

PBC: Yes, but that election was 2 years ago. She lost, and the songs are not about politics but about her.

(They flash her photo.)

Noah: That’s Avonelle Hector Joseph from Trinidad and Tobago, right.

PBC: Yes.

(They flash a map.)

Noah: So how big is that country?

PBC: About twice the size of Rhode Island. She lost 7000 to 2000.

Noah: Now as far as American politics. You are advocating the Libertarian Party now. that’s why we invited you here on 4/20.

PBC: Hitler’s birthday! I didn’t know he was that popular.

Noah: Your party favors the legalization of marijuana.

PBC: That’s why they always lose. They get stupefied and forget to vote. You need your heads clear just one day a year. you can win this thing. Mostly though the party combines the Republican ideals of small government and low taxes with the liberal idea let me sin in peace. That should be worth at least 30% in most elections. It’s time to get them on the ballot everywhere and stay clean in early November!

Noah: We’re running out of time already. Will you stay for an extended interview?

PBC: About 5 minutes, sure.

Noah: Quickly about the legal situation, you’ve equated it to the situation with our network Comedy Central and Stephen Colbert. Can you explain that quickly?

PBC: Certainly: the real Stephen Colbert is a pointy=headed liberal. The fictional Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report was a pointy-headed conservative.

Noah: Much like Bill O’Reilly.

PBC: A parody of the Factor, shamelessly so. That was silly since O’Reilly is a parody of a real conservative.

Noah: And now an unemployed conservative.

PBC: Yes, well last year we learned what I suspected all along: Fox News was a harem for Roger Ailes. It’s only natural O’Reilly thinks that way too. They did their job: made Trump President, now we don’t need them anymore, we just have to survive the experience.

Noah: Wow. Thank you so much. Check our website for the extended interview. See you next week.

#daily show #Bill O'Reilly #Aaron Hernandez

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