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#rather than idk focus on the things they like they focus on stuff they hate

fallloverfic · 3 months

Note

FG anon here! I hadn’t thought of him potentially being Ares! I didn’t get that vibe from him. I could never figure out which “pantheon” or which myth he’s from. But yeah I feel like whatever his intentions for Seth, I think he needs some resource relating to war— whether it’s for the sake of his homeland or for himself.

Also I didn’t know the fandom didn’t like him haha. He’s one of my favorite characters. This fandom is so tiny, I have actually heard nearly nothing about him positive or negative 💀 or maybe I’m on the wrong platform for Ennead fandom?

Hallo again! (this got long so putting it under a read more)

Yeah I still lean towards Apollo because of the golden eye thing. It's just strange to me that both Ra and FG are like the only two known god characters with golden eyes, and Ra is a sun god (so maybe FG is a sun god, too, hence, Apollo, plus the medicine thing, and his focus on getting laid). But most of his actions, particularly leading an army, make sense for him to be Ares. His personality otherwise matches Apollo. But also why would Apollo be leading an army, or be ready to declare war? Ares is the god of war. It also makes sense that a god of war would focus on how "weak" another god of war is, and the way he talks about Egypt as a weak country and sizing up their gods for their abilities kind of matches someone with a martial background. So he could be Ares! He could be Apollo! He could be neither of them!

I'm glad he's one of your favorites! FG is a very fun character! I find his relationship with Seth entertaining and engaging, and I'm curious about what power Maat is going to grant him. I also feel like he's going to be involved somehow in the final battle with Osiris, and I'm curious how that'll play out. But also, there are plenty of FG fans, FGSeth fans, and fans of him with other characters! Tumblr is generally a dead place for this fandom, though it's more active than like... deviantart, pillowfort, and kind of Blue Sky Social. There's a lot of really lovely fanworks of him, though not as much fic on places like here or Archive of Our Own. International fandom is still most active on twitter, so you're going to see way more stuff with him and other characters (along with the vitriol, unfortunately) there. The second best place to go for stuff with him is probably pixiv. Then maybe instagram. There were some active folks on tiktok for him but I avoid tiktok for this fandom cause it's mostly art theft and bad edits.

Some artists I'd recommend to follow for works with him:

おぜ | oze__0 (twitter) (pixiv)

GSY_DM (twitter)

くろいうさぎ | emm_usagi (twitter)

ぽん𓃩2/3大阪オンリーC19 | pondiru_3 (twitter) (pixiv)

ヒユウ | hi_you_2 (twitter) (poipiku)

kumorkumo (twitter) (pixiv)

leejun35 (twitter) (instagram)

いと | knito110 (twitter) (pixiv)

りょう | wwvsand (twitter)

nab𓃩ﾅﾌﾞ | nab_003 (twitter) (pixiv)

ginger_ennead (twitter) (they're sort of focusing on a different fandom right now, but if you browse back through their stuff, they made a lot of lovely FGSeth comics)

ナツメ (pixiv)

りょう (pixiv)

hako_enad (twitter)

よみの | yominofox (twitter)

おかや | okaya_enad (twitter)

And there's way more of that. FG fanartists are some of the most dedicated in the fandom, and produce a lot of the fanworks. If you're browsing, I would look under these tags on different sites: FGSeth (English), FG/Seth, FGxSeth, FG x Seth / 이국세트 (Korean = Exotic Set) / 髭セト (Japanese = mustache Set). Also a lot of multishippers do lovely art of him, so just look around if you're interested!

And to be fair, every character in the fandom is hated by somebody lol There are people who hate Horus (he's the main reason the Seth x happiness "ship" exists, because people don't even want him to end up with Horus for a dozen reasons), and there are plenty of people who hate Seth. FG is probably about on par with being hated as Isis? But I don't recall any situation where people sent their hate about Isis to Mojito, which people have done with FG. It kind of fluctuates. But yeah, top hated characters in the fandom are probably... any of the mob characters (including Kuentamen, Fenu, the older enslaved person Seth helped escape), Osiris/Isis/FG/Nephthys, I think Hathor and then Horus and Anubis, then Seth. The awful side of fandom kind of rotates on its "villain of the week" vitriol. When FG was in the spotlight, it was FG, and there were harassment campaigns against FG fanartists, doxxing, one person was stealing artwork and redrawing it as Horuseth, another person was editing FG into Horus from comic panels and spamming Mojito about them, but they did it a little with Osiris and Anubis as well. But when FG went away and Anubis came back, it was sort of Anubis, and then when the spotlight went back onto Horus, it was Horus. Now it's kind of back to FG cause he's back again and Horus is leaving Seth to go to Heliopolis while Seth and FG go to Khemenu/Hermopolis. I imagine when Osiris comes back for more than flashbacks, it'll be Osiris again. Who knows? People have too much time on their hands.

But who cares? Mojito loves all her characters, and has repeatedly said so. That thread I posted in the last ask was about her expressing her love, and she's talked about a planned FGSeth extra after the story is over. And here's some nice art by her of him with Horus, Seth, and the camel on the hiatus announcement.

#fg #fg ennead #asks #people will hate anyone in a fandom #cause boredom or 10000 other reasons who knows #rather than idk focus on the things they like they focus on stuff they hate #there are entire “fandoms” dedicated to hatred #I cannot understand it at all #I think FG ends up at the bottom because at least Osiris is beloved in Korea in particular #and Osiseth is or at least was the most popular Korean ship #but everyone in this fandom is at the bottom for someone #everyone #except maybe grape kid idk I think everyone likes him #and probably Ra #ennead #fallfthoughts

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shegxox · 1 year

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flirts. | chamber , sova

that moment when you hear chamber flirt with viper the first time on the field.

cw: swearing

wc: 1,005

a.n: idk what this is but uh, enjoy? also, let me know if you guys like this type of stuff. ++ gaia visual here ^^

previous : next

"VIPER, you must let me take you out sometime. Dinner– dancing! I know the perfect place."

"Chamber, I would rather drink my own poison."

You stifled a giggle as you and KAY/O shared a look, the robot merely shook his head as the two of you overhear the comms of the agent on the field.

"Does this happen all the time?" You asked, muting off your voice in comms.

"More often than you think," KAY/O replies.

You have just arrived at the Vulture, catching up on a mission that you were supposed to be in. Viper, Chamber, and Sova were already on the field, leaving you and KAY/O at the aircraft.

"Come now, mademoiselle. No need to be so cold, I know just the thing to warm you up."

Your eyes widened and slapped a hand on your mouth, hunching over as you heard those words.

"Less flirting, more focus." You could already tell that Viper was gritting her teeth.

"How could I focus when I'm in a presence of such beauty."

"Pfft–" your laughter busted out as you watched them from the screens. "Oh my gods this is so painful to hear!"

KAY/O lets out a defeated sigh, "Affirmative."

You tapped on your comms and finally made them aware of your presence.

"Chamber, you're so lame." You managed to utter out through fits of giggles.

The comms suddenly went silent.

"Yeah, that's right, I can hear your cringey lines."

Sova's voice then joined in, "Gaia? Is that you?"

"Yup and hearing Chamber flirt just took away half my life span." You said dramatically, "Lameness is my weakness!"

You faintly hear Viper let out a chuckle

"What are you doing here?" Chamber's voice suddenly cut through in a demanding tone.

"Uhh, I'm part of the mission, duh."

"How was I not informed of this?"

"The last-minute briefing we had that you skipped." Viper answers in a deadpan tone. "It would only be natural for her to be here, she's the one who caught Legion lingering around the site."

"That's right." You nodded. "And FYI, my flora just sensed movement."

"I'm picking up a signal near A site," KAY/O added as he scanned through the screens. "Everyone in position, they're here. I'm sending Gaia in."

You made your way to your motorcycle that was parked near the exit, KAY/O lowers the altitude of the Vulture, preparing to open the aircraft's backdoors.

"Sova, ice cream and barbie movies after this?" You quickly asked as you mount your ride.

"It would be a pleasure," Sova replied.

"That's how you do it, Chamber." You teased as you put on your helmet.

"Ah, even I would say yes to that offer if you asked me, ma chérie." Chamber shot back in a flirty tone.

"Who wouldn't say no to you, mon chou?"

You feigned a gasp, your ride humming to life.

"My, my mon cher. Hitting on two ladies at once?" You laughed darkly. "What a player."

"I could say the same for you, little goddess."

---

"I hate myself so much." You groaned as you clutched your side, falling down on one knee.

"Not as much as I hate you." Your copy seethed before sending vines searing through your direction.

"I am you, dummy." Swiping your hand on the ground and up, the earth rises as it curved its direction, forming a barrier that blocked the vine's attack.

You pressed on your comms, "I need an arrow or a bullet at 12 o'clock, 8 meters, now!"

The familiar sound of Chamber's gun rang through the air almost immediately and you put your barrier down to see your copy's body fall.

"Merci!"

With the detonator in hand, you ran towards the spike, the beeping sound going faster as you began defusing. The bomb started to glow red and your surroundings started to rise.

"C'mon, I have ice cream waiting for me after this." You clicked your tongue as the spike started to form cracks underneath it, nearing its end. And just before it did, you finally defused it.

"Oh sweet barbie mermaidia." You breathed out in relief before letting yourself down on the ground.

"That was fucking close. . . "

Hurried footsteps pounded the ground as they rushed towards you.

"Gaia!" Sova kneeled next to you as he started inspecting your state. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." You rasped before trying to sit up. "Just got hit on the side, no biggie."

"Are you sure?" Your mentor asked worriedly

"Yeah, look, I'm healing right now." You assured as you twisted your torso a bit to the side to show your glowing palm covering your side.

Sova heaved a sigh in relief.

"Good."

"Well, that was a job well done." A new voice entered as Chamber stepped into view. "A close call, but well done."

You gave him a weak smile, "Thanks for the headshot."

"No problem, mademoiselle." Chamber held out a hand. "Merely aiding a damsel in distress."

You scoffed, taking his hand.

"I could've handled her if we had more time." You sighed as you stood up with Sova following suit.

"But, yes. I was in distress."

"Would the damsel still be in distress if I say that she owes me one?" Chamber asked with a sly smirk.

"Oh god, what do you want." You shot him a playful look of disdain.

"Dinner, dancing– I know the perfect place." There was a glint of craftiness in his eyes and you couldn't help but be impressed.

You huffed a laugh, "Cute but recycled. You'd have to wait in line."

Chamber shot you a charming smile, "I'm a patient man."

You then felt a large warm hand on your lower back.

"We need to head back," Sova utters, looking at you gently. "Captain is waiting."

"Ah, right. Let's go." Taking your hand from Chamber's hold, "I'm taking my bike, by the way, I have somewhere to be first."

Sova's eyebrows furrowed, "Is it another mission?"

"Ah no," You chuckled. "I'll just buy some ice cream."

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stateswscarlet · 5 months

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hi this is the 3p person. how do i stop feeling like im doing this to change the 3D? can i acknowledge that it will change the 3D? im just confused. this manifested really fast but ive fulfilled myself with the state of being with him a bunch so why didnt that reflect like this? idk. im just scared im gonna imagine and enjoy it and nothing will reflect. i was thinking of getting coaching with you because idk what to do anymore. i hate my 3D. i just miss sp.

you need to give up on the 3D fully. you need to accept and acknowledge you (all of us) CANNOT change the 3D, we do not have the free will to do that as our free will ends in imagination. you must really sit with this and decide if you'd rather be trying to chase a shadow world and be frustrated, or would you rather 100% enjoy your imagination and feel good and be stressfree? hopefully the latter. we don't do anything to change the 3D as imagination and who were are is CONSTANTLY reflected, even before you knew about this stuff. we cant make it or un-make it reflect as creation is finished hence why we shift states. knowing the 3D changes is very different than chasing it and doing things for the 3D. the 3D will never fulfill you, only YOU choose how things fulfill you or if they even do at all. you need to understand you only want the feeling, not the actual; physical desire.

its like your shadow, do you only walk and move just so your shadow moves? or do you move because you want to? your 3d is the same, you're not constantly thinking of your shadow when you're doing things because the LAW is that its always there anyways. the law shouldn't be a comfort factor for you because it just is.

as i said in the previous ask about your situation. I'm pretty sure you haven't been fulfilling yourself as much as you think you were, and you were fulfilling yourself for stuff that wasn't even your end goal.

youre relying too much on the 3D and seeing this as smth you have to do to get them back and that is exactly where you're going wrong, you need to give up on changing the 3D completely, as edward art says you need to imagine as if there was no outer world bc the outer world has never fulfilled you and never will.

i get missing sp and those feelings are valid, but you need to realize that your life isn't going to end if you're not with them. manifesting an sp shouldn't be something you need, its something you CAN have and definitely shouldn't be approached from a desperate/needy mindset because that will lead to codependent (not saying you are like this but I'm putting it out there in case there are others). please stop revolving your life around an sp and put your crown back on. YOU made sp special, YOU are the secret sauce, they're just some random who YOU decided means something. you need to realize that (manifestation stuff aside) you will 10000% will ok if you don't be with them because you're more than content on your own and can date anyone else. i say this with love but as someone who was in your shoes and knows how it feels, you will only be running in circles if you don't approach this from a healthier mindset. work on your self concept (don't tie it to manifesting ur sp at all) and LIVE your life, do things that you enjoy, have fun/date around with other people (if you have the chance to bc remember that you're not pretending, you are single in the 3D), and stop trying to get back someone. give yourself the feelings of your dream relationship first and how it makes YOU feel, then add sp into the equation. you don't want them back, you want a fulfilling relationship. how would you feel if they came back tomorrow yet the same issues happened as they did back when you were together before/theyre just not good/the relationship sucks? that isn't what you want, you want the fulfilling relationship so focus on aspects about that and give those to yourself. you don't want their physical body back bc it means nothing to you unless you get the feelings you desire.

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booburt · 5 months

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Hi, I've been wondering for the photography AU what general time period it's set in, what type of camera(s) does Koby use (it looks like a canon to me but seems to make polaroids, at least that's the surface level observation I can make from my extremely limited knowledge on cameras), what type of photography he personally enjoys and the type he usually does for work (if he does it as his profession too). What does Koby aim to capture with his images, the casual mundane life of an average person, an unreal, etheral sight in a place the average person can't go, Luffy's luffiness, etc? Also what's the general budget Koby has towards camera equipment (doesn't need to be that exact, just a general "he's broke" or "He spends all his money on lenses" would suffice)? My questions are kinda vague here because I'm going to research more about photography later. Thanks in advance :D Oh yeah and also does Koby travel, if not what's the general landscape of his nearby area. You don't need to answer this since I'll probably make it up but it'd be good to know.

okok i wrote this all in the few free periods i got earlier take what you will ^_^

also a doodle i did ages aaaaago with a bit of slightly illegible info in my awful handwriting (sorry)

actual answer vvv

- its a modern au!! so set like. now!

- koby uses sony cameras primarily but yes he does have a few canons (nikon confuses him)

- he has a seperate polaroid camera!!! he usually prints digitally from sd though

- for type of photography, he started with a passion for ocean and landscape photography, mostly beaches and any scene with water in focus. he also has an interest in portraiture but his love for portraiture only comes to play when he meets luffy. cheese cheese cheeeesyyyy because luffy smiles and hes IMMEDIATELY enamoured. anyway, he starts to study and practice portraiture in depth because of the pretty boy he met in maths class and eventually works up the courage to ask him to model for him. they get super close and eventually start dating; luffy likes how dedicated koby is to his work and how cute he is when he blushes.

-SORDY got carried away with the sappy lovey stuff. koby sells his landscape/wildlife photography at local stores as a side hustle thing haha. but he doesnt really do it professionally, he much prefers to keep it as a hobby / simple income.

- koby aims to capture the beauty of colour! he loves vibrancy when shooting with a softbox or some other source of light he will usually use something to change the hue rather than plain old bw on a simple white bg

- following on he HATES shooting black and white photos unless theyre negatives because idk i think he would think it looks cool. what a guy

- with luffy photography he just likes catching luffys smile or just luffy in general; whipped dud!!! he thinks he is gorgeous

- ahahhhh budget budgettt. lenses are fucking EXPENSIVE!!! he uses a 50mm that helmeppo got him for his birthday one year (rich kid stuff. he knew koby likes photography and searched Best Lense For People Pictures and bought the first one he saw) the 50 is canon as consequence so koby uses canon for loofy pics. he has an 18-55mm he uses as well.

- he is broke yes. koby does have a minimum wage weekend job to pay for living expenses but all in all that boys pockets are empty. luffy is the breadwinner (miss rabbit with the one zillion jobs) he works about 4 different jobs and is happy to pay for anything koby wants despite kobys adamant NOs. like i said he gets helmeppo to pay for a bunch of stuff and helmeppo pays on his dads card LOL.

- koby does travel! mainly by train or boat, not often does he go to an entirely different country but he has previously a few times. when he does go abroad he takes luffy with him!!!! (he looks pretty in the snow. he likes taking pictures of him in snow)

IM SO GLAD SOMEONE LIKES MY AU ENOUGH TO ASK ME THIS MANY QUESTIONS LMAO i had fun answering all of this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#kobylu #cobylu #kobylu photography au #booburt stuff :3

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yourfavepookiebear · 5 months

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Introduction (again 😭)

Requests: open (?)

I'm currently less active since I have exams coming up, so I'd rather answer any requests once my exams have passed. I'm gonna post my WIP soon, I just have to finish it first

Again, my only side account is @thepookiestpookiebear

Request Rules :

Character limit : generally 4 unless it's a group

I don't write incest, racist, homophobic, or that kinda stuff

Uhh I don't have much rules

I can write yandere stuff, I can also write self aware stuff

I write for twisted wonderland and genshin impact, and maybe tokyo revengers too !

And that's all, moving on :

Feel free to chat, I LOVE MAKING FRIENDS and i love talking/chatting ❤

If you don't like my works, just ignore them. If you don't like my account, block me. If I offend you somehow, either ignore me or block me.

I don't argue with people (most of the time)

I'm a pacifist, I have a teeny weeny wittle tiny eety beety bitty bit of anger issues

I haven't made a masterlist yet bc I don't know how to sorry

Do not steal my works, they are mine. Do not do anything with my works unless I consent to it, please. Don't copy !

Pookie, come and have some chai with me ♡♧ (or some coffee if that's what you prefer idk)

Hi pookies! I'm a beginner fic writer. I write for twisted wonderland, self aware twisted wonderland, and a slight bit of genshin impact, but mostly sagau. I'm a ✨FaLLeN AnGeL✨ /HJ SORRY 😞

My pronouns are she/her

I'm half European half Asian (specifically middle-eastern asian) my first language is French and my second language is English (chronologically), oh and I can speak in total 3-4 languages.

Edit: I have a lot of names and nicknames, so you can call me whatever you'd like, but here is a list of what most people call me, both online and irl :

Jess

Pookie

Pookie bear

Bear

KitKat

Jessica (rarely)

Cathy

Cath/Cat

Catastrophe (a nickname my previous classmates used to give me)

Sometimes even Catharina, or Catherine/Katherine

In conclusion, I have a lot of names and nicknames, so just call me whatever you'd prefer to call me, I just gave that list so maybe you'd have an idea.

Sometimes I'm dumb sometimes I'm smart, it all depends and varies.

I'm a girl, bisexual + greysexual (basically a biromantic greysexual). I'm a huge simp -> (edit: sometimes), and I like cute things.

I LOVE CATS

requests are almost always open pookies

Proud member of the pookie nation.

I will call u pookie or pookie bear no matter who or what you are.

I'm a pisces, my birthmonth is March. I'm not a huge fan of astrology but I do like astronomy tho

Subjects/topics I like:

Fashion, modeling, models.

Astronomy

Biology

Physics

Chemistry

Science (general base)

Philosophy (self-explanatory)

Edit : Sometimes history/SS too

Things I like/LOVE:

Vacuum cleaners ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💖💞 (love of my life <33333333333333)

Food (everything except some seafood and mushrooms)

Cats (self-explanatory)

Cute things (self-explanatory)

Animals

Social media (sometimes, depends on the type)

My friends

My (new) classmates

My old school

Fast-food (KFC especially, OMFG I LOVE FRIED CHICKEN WINGS AND OML FRIED SPICY CHICKEN WINGSSS <333)

Chicken nuggets

Dried bacon

Bacon and eggs

Scrambled eggs

FRIED CHICKEN

Sandwhiches

Hotdogs

Riceballs

Tuna fish cans (canned tuna fish 🔛🔝)

Basically any food

Chocolate, ex : chocolate cakes, chocolate milkshakes, chocolate bars, chocolate tablets

Nutella/chocolate milkshakes

Writing (depends, sometimes)

Dancing

Ducks (And he waddled away waddle waddle waddle 🥲.)

CARS

Motorcycles

MONEY (no need to explain)

My extra-curricular classes (kinda, sometimes I also hate them 😞)

Uh, a Lotta things, I'm just too lazy to write all of it (it would take hours)

Music too

My personality type:

I'm ambiverted actually so it depends, so idk.

Edit: I'm an INTP pookies

Little details about me:

I could talk about food for hours. (It's one of the only things I like more than astronomy and money.)

I can't focus for too long.

I have a wild imagination (not in a bad way tho)

I love mostly everything, except for a few people/things that I still hold grudges to. (For a good reason tho).

I have a super packed schedule most of the time, it's mainly cuz I go to 2 schools at the same time, along with extracurricular classes, and both school's homeworks, and school projects

My hobbies:

Horseriding

Rockclimbing

Hiking

Writing (sometimes)

Reading

Studying (only rarely)

Jogging (but mostly cycling)

Track running

Cycling (every day, except for when I'm sick or not in form)

I don't like:

Judgemental people

Sh*t-talkers

People who have massive egos

Roaches

Spiders

Dirtyness

Dirty people

Dust

Unsanitary people

Dirty food

Dirty water

Unhygienic people

People who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom.

Some things you should probably know if you're one of my mutuals:

1. This isn't that much important, but I usually Ieave my home at around 8am and I come back at around 5pm. So sorry if I reply late to any of your asks or messages. if I don't reply or the reply is late then I'm most-likely outside, or just came home.

2. Also not that inportant, but I try to be nice to people because they already have enough problems and I don't need/want to be one of them. Sometimes though I may be rude or mean on accident, srry.

3. I LOVE ALL OF MY MOOTS ♡♡♡

4. Also not important but I don't really think much before subscribing to someone, if I see a random stranger on the internet who has good humor, then I'll hit the plus button. Sometimes though it can be troublesome, since i don't really check people's bios.

ALSO this is my beloved creature that I found on the streets on a snowy day, it's my best friend now @farfarurfav

I'm in a lot of fandoms, mainly Twisted Wonderland, Genshin impact, Attack on Titan, Jujustu Kaisen, Honkai Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Sailor Moon, Naruto, Boruto, Assassination Classroom, Spy x Family, KNY, Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken/ That time I reincarnated as a slime, Obey me, Dark Fall, Etc etc and also I'm a manga, manhua, manhwa, and anime enjoyer and I also know some webtoons too !

ONLY Side account : @thepookiestpookiebear

Tags :

See "#yourfavepookiebear" for anything related to me !

See "#pookiebear rants" for whatever rants I've posted !

See "#pookie talks" for me talking with people or just chatting and stuff like that

See "#thepookiestwrites" for some of my newest works !

For now these are the only tags I'll introduce.

#yourfavepookiebear #pookie talks #introduction #introducing myself

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kexing · 6 months

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Its so wild to see how openly and aggressively people hate forcebook and their work. Iknow bl opinions are so varied but other than the odd 'this is not for me' i never really come across hate for pairings on here (maybe its different on twitter idk) so its so insane that when it comes to fb people just stop being considerate to fans or even look to bother them actively. there are some actors who get rightly criticized for awful behaviour but with fb it just seems like its the one pairing that people are allowed to shit on and thats why they do it? bc what's the worst they've done? not act the way you would want them to or take part in a show you didn't like?? why would people then focus so much on them rather than focus on the stuff they do like? its so baffling i truly wonder if its just 'playground join in with the bully' behaviour. sorry thats been on my mind as someone who only filters into bl every now and then, its so strange.

hi there!

RIGHT????? before them, i had never seen hate for pairings on this level. i knew about some problematic actors and pairings that had broken up so most people had moved on but actual gratuitous hate??? was unknown to me.

i used to think we all minded our business with our faves and everyone lived in peace. at least it was like that here on tumblr for my first years of bl. i do think twitter is different and probably worse, but the way their behavior has been poisoning tumblr as well is concerning.

truly. i don’t KNOW what’s with forcebook that people seem to enjoy hating on them. they’ve been on the public eye for nearly two years now, they have zero rumors, zero scandals, zero accusations, work hard, just do their thing, openly support the lgbtq+ community, all their coworkers like them, for fanfest in japan geminifourth, joong and phuwin went to force’s room in the middle of the night to hang out because their adore spending time with him, their previous directors adore them, p’film considers forcebook his actual children and p’new opens his arms for book to bear hug him whenever he sees him.

hell, even their old classmates from school came forward to say they were really nice people back then. that force was popular because he was friends with everyone and book was quiet but sweet.

when there’s actual deeply problematic actors out there. people who get accused of unspeakable things EVERY SINGLE DAY. and fans still defend them and give them 937482848384 chances.

it just doesn’t make sense to me. WHY would you be so obsessed with someone you don’t like? focus on your faves instead of complaining about other people just doing their job!!!!!!!!!!

i do usually call it “hate train” because it seems like everybody’s hopping on it just because it’s going around a lot.

but STILL. i see some criticism that’s just baffling. the way people will take forcebook’s words out of context and attack them with it, invent shit saying they’re nepotism babies (they are not). some even use forcebook’s friendship against them which is????? surreal. jobless behavior. go find a hobby or something else to do???? WHAT ARE YOU GAINING FROM ALL THIS?????

force and book are very open about their friendship and how it’s not perfect because they like being honest with us instead of painting a false image of their relationship, it’s not for people to turn it into weapons!! the disrespect is just so infuriating!

i’m not asking for everyone to start loving forcebook, just RESPECT THEM. or even ignore them. but don’t ruin things for them 😭😭😭 and us fans who are just trying to support them.

it’s okay! i wonder about the same things every single day. and i sincerely don’t know if i’m just too biased or something but i have never understood the amount of hate and still don’t because i would never do this to anyone. i never expected things to become like this.

but oh well :/

#anonymous #mj got mail!

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aromantic-diaries · 8 months

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IDK if this is an unpopular take, and idk if its because I just have a lot of bad experiences with allo-norms and has constantly see how it hurts friendships and devalues them, but I'd love aro/ace's POV on this: I feel it would be more useful to label relationships by boundaries rather than a binary of romantic vs platonic. Friends can live together, raise kids together, have sex. Doesn’t mean they have romantic attraction necessarily. (And when romantic attraction is described as just a "stronger" form of platonic attraction like 99% of the time, it’s not helpful either - it bugs me when people say stuff like 'romance/sex is just an intimate friendship' which no. it really isn't IMO.) Categorizing feelings is difficult but people have to be so obsessed with “am I in love” they can’t focus instead on “what do I want my future with this person to be like” It should be more common for people outside of aro/ace spaces or even queer spaces to challenge traditional ideas of romantic vs platonic relationships even.

People really only hurt themselves and perpetuate toxic ideals by limiting themselves like that.

Like I’ve seen people be like “I cherish and value this friend above all else but I’m not attracted to them” and I want to shake them and be like “you don’t have to belittle your friendships because of allonormativity!!! You can value a friend that way!!! It’s ok!!!!”

But some people would tell them “you’re just in denial of your romantic feelings” and I want to shake them up too.

I could go into how romance/allonormativity is toxic in itself too but I don't wanna ramble too much; I guess I just have a lot of frustrations with allo-ism as a normalised concept and how, I feel it can be more toxic then not but I don't want to let my own bad experiences with it bring down others. This isn't to say ace/aro ppl are superior of course, like i said i think relationships should be determined by boundaries rather then binary.

This is a really interesting take and I actually agree with you on this. The idea that romance is the absolute highest form of love is restrictive for alloromantic people just as much as it is for aros.

I don't believe in the relationship hierarchy, especially when it's based on the type of love you feel for someone rather than yknow, trust, the level of intimacy or how strong your bond is. The type of love shouldn't be what determines how close you are with someone and placing romance above everything and putting up a border for when it's no longer "just friends" and is now romance is bullshit from both straight and queer perspectives. I personally hate the idea that two friends can't possibly be close without it crossing into the romance territory cause it's such a narrow view of how relationships work. Me and my best friend for example are very close, to the point where we consider ourselves to be like brothers and we have no romantic feelings for eachother, yet people still kind of assume we Must be "more than friends". As for stuff like friends with benefits, it shouldn't be so outlandish to consider that friends might have sex and still be friends without entering a romantic relationships. Especially in the queer community where sleeping with friends is considered pretty commonplace.

All in all, yeah, this is something to think about. It's kind of mind poisoning to view relationships as forming a hierarchy and it shouldn't be an aro-exclusive thing to deconstruct that idea

#anon #mail time

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arowitharrows · 4 months

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hello, i had some maybe broad-but-vague stuff i wanted to ask to someone who knows more about ace stuff since i've been seeing a surge of related content about that topic lately, and i wondered if you might be someone i could ask? i know it's alot, and please ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. im not trying to be hateful or anything, i just feel sort of ignorant about it all. ace stuff, specifically. until now, i always ignored people saying they were ace before, because i didnt get it and i just figured that i didnt need to get it to just mind my own business, but it seems so much more prevalent online now than it used to be, id like to understand. i dont mean to be crude, but in my mind it's like- not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra, though as i type that i actually can see that that might be too flawed and general of an outlook, but that's the best way i can think to phrase my thoughts. so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me? im really not sure if theres more to it that im missing to put it in some different context. i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity. and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. it just seems like such a non-problem to me. and that sounds alot harsher than i mean it to be, but i dont get it. its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra, so all of the controversy is for what? it always came off as making a big deal out of nothing to me. personally, i've never felt any sort of realistic romantic or sexual attraction to another person before in my life, but (other than here) i don't go around talking about that. if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately. so i don't get that the difference is. it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being? or maybe it doesn't feel minuscule? i dont want to come off as belittling, so if theres a better way to refer to all this, please let me know. sorry for the wall of text and like i said, feel free to ignore this. i'm not trying to be an asshole and its not on you to field this sort of question, but i just want to understand. thank you for your time!

Hey anon, It's great of you to reach out and try to learn, or unlearn, some things about asexuality and aromanticism. I'm going to try to break things down a bit (this is not in the order of what you wrote)

not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra. [...] and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. [...] its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra

I'm honestly not sure what you mean by this. I don't believe there is a baseline template for humanity, we are too complex for that. But even if there were a baseline I would set it to what the majority of humanity experiences and I think it's safe to say that a large majority of people experience sexual and romantic attraction to others (the number that usually gets thrown around is 1% of the human population is asexual, but I do not believe this number is still up to date.) If asexuality were the norm then the asexual community would not have this many struggles with medical doctors (here, read this great article that just came out for some context).

That being said - you can view humanity this way if you want, I'm not going to say it's wrong. Just be aware that most people do not see it this way, and that many reactions people have when first learning about asexuality and aromanticism shows how much they view it as something unnatural, abnormal and something to be fixed.

if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately.

Most people I know experience romantic and sexual attraction as a normal part of their life, and they talk about it a lot, which I don't necessarily consider to be oversharing. Relationships and crushes and heartbreak and sex are important topics for many people, to the point where I would claim that a considerable amount of time goes into writing songs and books and movies and other media about it. Most coming-of-age stories involve romance and sex as milestones, most "humanizing the monster" stories involve falling in love as a proof of humanity, most commercials use sex-appeal to make people buy shit. All of this is integrated into everyday life, so all of this can make aspec people feel alienated and othered, even before they find the aro/ace labels.

When I was a teenager people wouldn't stop talking about sex, it was a way to measure your worth, so I felt.. worth less than my peers. Now I'm an adult and the older I get the more being single and unmarried is seen as a personal failure.

All this is to say that in my experience sexual and romantic attraction are not quiet aspects of society. And, for the record, I don't talk about my orientation much with people outside of my close family, even when it makes things awfully awkward because my disinterests does not go unnoticed, and is very much seen as an oddity.

so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me. [...] it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being?

Why do you think any identity label exists? They are there to help us understand ourselves, to help us explain ourselves to others and to help us find others with similar experiences so we can feel less isolated. We live in a heteronormative society where everyone is assumed to perform sex and romance in a very strict and narrowly defined manner. People that fall out of that norm tend to struggle on many different, complex levels. Asexual and aromantic people are not exempt from these struggles. For some being ace and aro does not have a large impact on their lives and that's fine, for others it does have a large impact - that's what the community is for, and that's what the labels are for. For me personally, being aroace impacts a lot of my life. It influences my politics, my living situation, how I approach friendships, my decisions for my future.. it is not something trivial.

i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity.

No, I do not believe that is the origin of the asexual and aromantic identity. It is certainly a source of aphobia and a much needed point of conversation, but asexuality and aromanticism would continue to exist in a society in which this were not a problem, the same way homosexuality will continue to exist when the world is no longer homophobic, and heterosexuality exists right now in a world that is not "heterophobic". I also want to gently add here that the belief that asexuality is a "reactionary" identity due to an oversexualized society is one I've almost exclusively seen in radical feminism circles, just something to keep in mind when following such train of thought.

Everyone is free to decide the degree to which experiencing little to no sexual/romantic attraction impacts their life and if they want to view it as something important or not. But to generalize and say that it doesn't matter on a societal scale rings false. I highly recommend just listening to more aromantic and asexual people's experiences in society to get a feeling of how it impacts our lives.

#anon #long post #ask #mai rambles

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not-poignant · 2 months

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Hi Pia,

Behind-the-scenes-fic-ask, number 21 and falling falling stars please ❤️

21. What is something you didn't expect people to notice or gravitate towards in this fic?

Ooooo, okay, actually quite a few things!

So the biggest one is that I just never expected to have Dr Gary be anything more than an extremely minor character that Efnisien mostly reflected on. I never planned to write whole sessions, and the first one was only a section of a chapter rather than a whole chapter, because I thought readers would hate it.

I actually really hate reading a lot of fictional therapy sessions, especially when that's not the focus of the fic. Most fictional therapy sessions read like 'therapist is narrating pop psychology and telling this character everything they want to hear and they're subbing in for a kind parental figure' at best.

There are exceptions to that, but for the most part, I find that boring - it feels like a kind of writing that is not quite lazy, but a bit 'there are other more interesting ways to share this.' Therapists don't feel like real people in those circumstances, with their own motives, thoughts, intentions and drives. They feel like an extended part of the character's brain, or they feel like an empty function.

But Dr Gary was like, was a hit. I was getting a lot of asks about him, a lot of interest about him in the comments, and in the first few chapters, me and my beta actually kind of shipped him and Efnisien together before he met Arden (that's how we ended up with Underline the Black lol).

So yeah, that's the biggest one!!! And that one is a pretty big one. :D

Otherwise, I was also surprised by (but maybe shouldn't have been) how many Kadek/Efnisien shippers there are and Kadek/Efnisien/Arden shippers. I was like...hmm...how can I put this - Kadek has darker brown skin, and in those cases some readers don't really go for that chemistry. He's also 20~ years older than Efnisien, though he doesn't act like it, lol. Like, I personally shipped them even though I wasn't going to write them into the main story, but I was very reserved/aware that people might not want that. Especially with how confrontational and sometimes even mean Kadek can be.

Honestly that was like, probably the nicest surprise. It wasn't that I expected people to be awful, often I try and go in with fairly open expectations, it was more like I was prepared for people to not feel/see what I was feeling/seeing about a character. And I was okay with that, because he's a side character. But we got way, way more scenes with Kadek because of how people responded to him.

This story really couldn't have been what it became without the readers! The best part about not planning a story is I can follow the kind of momentum of readers. I don't believe in caving to fanservicey stuff, but I do believe in 'oh you're open to this? I can give you more of this!' or 'oh you like him!!! Yay!! I do too! Let's experiment with a whole therapy session chapter and see how y'all feel about it.'

:D That's my favourite part of writing, honestly. I actually kind of feel bad for the people who don't read fics as they go like this, and just read it all when it's completed at the end. Because they miss this kind of alive creation of this ongoing story, and they miss being a part of it. And obviously they also miss the agony of waiting for chapters, but as someone who reads WIPs myself, idk there's something very cool about seeing something come to life - especially like, if say early on you are like 'I love this character so much' and then a bunch of other people say it, and then the author is like 'well this character can make the story stronger so good news everyone, I'm putting him in more because you all love him so much.'

That's... like... *chef's kiss*

From this meme!

#asks and answers #memey goodness #falling falling stars #dr gary konowalous #kadek setiawan #initially kadek was quite a lazy character for me in that #he was very loosely based on a good friend of mine #and then it was like oh let's...#let's really do this #efnisien would never have gotten that piano as a gift from kadek #if it wasn't for y'all and i appreciate that

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arachnidiots-a · 7 months

Text

— liam's character info sheet.

(repost, don’t reblog)

name: willamina “liam” kaz

name meaning: a variant of the name wilhelmina, “determined protector"

alias/es: liam, li, synesilk, red, spider-man

ethnicity: white

one picture you like best: i've been thinking nonstop about these that i posted a little bit ago

three hcs you never told anyone:

idk if this counts as one but i constantly am at a crossroads with what i want to do with liam’s love life. shipping liam is genuinely such a low thing on the list of stuff i focus on because i constantly just struggle with figuring out that side of their life. they’re so devoted to everyone in their life and just clinging on for a meaningful relationship, platonic or romantic or something else entirely. that being said… they’re an awkward and rather nervous partner when it comes to romantic relationships. one would be so lucky to be in love and loved by liam

liam has such a complicated relationship with their first name because they wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s not theirs or anything or even change it legally, they simply just don’t entirely identify with it or use it. they do have to use it in certain situations such as with medical stuff or legal things and they will but in every other aspect of life they’d like to be known as liam (or any other nickname)

liam started using the nickname liam around the time they entered their early teens. before then it was some other variations of willamina. nothing ever really stuck more than a year or three at a time.

three things your character likes doing in their free time:

walking/swinging aimlessly

hanging out in the lab/the web

play board games

eight people your character likes / loves:

roxy fields. liam’s platonic soulmate and other hero half. there’s no world where roxy and liam aren’t vital to each other

martin levy. liam’s cousin and one part of their safety net. they’re close confidants, and very much like siblings

emmett jeffries. liam’s half-brother. they reconnect after a couple of years after being out of each other’s lives but there’s truly nothing liam wouldn’t do for this kid

peter parker. roxy’s high school friend, martin’s roommate, and one part of liam’s safety net. he’s the guy in the chair for both spiders

professor mei turling. liam and roxy’s mentor. her disappearance is what leads them on their adventure as heroes. she’s one of liam’s inspirations

piper lowery. liam’s first love. this relationship is doomed in every version of it, and liam will always wonder what could’ve been

carla & haiden kaz. despite everything, liam can’t ever say they hate their parents. there’s a complicated amount of love and like for them even if liam hopes they don’t call and don’t visit

two things your character regrets:

not keeping in contact with emmett

a lot of small regrets over things they say occasionally. liam is the kind of person to beat themself up over being vulnerable at times or doing something they think might’ve been a touch weird

two phobias your character has:

losing roxy/anyone they care about

confined spaces for an extended period of time

tagged by : @inhcritance tagging : @walkeddeath @tracksdown @buglesbetty @parameddie @deadranch @ncmad @wnterslder

#thanks for the tag!!#LK. BELIEVE / headcanons

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romanarose · 1 year

Text

Leather and Lace: Final Chapter (12)

Santiago Garcia x Fem!OC

Triple Frontier Master List

Chapter 11

Leather and Lace master list

Continue the story with Frankie and Jana in Take Your Time

Summary: For Laci's birthday, all she wants is a weekend at a cabin with Santi and the guys, but she ends up giving Santiago a gift too. Less of a coherent storyline, more of a collection of random scenes of their weekend together, telling the story of how far they've all come. Also: sex

Warnings: Insomnia, addiction recovery, mentions of drinking problems, scary incident involving almost drowning kinda? No real danger with the boys there but still. Santi is a horny teenager. For the smut: PIV sex (you heard me), thigh riding, so, so much dirty talk, so much. praise kink, light dom/sub dynamic IG but theres no rough sex, daddy kink (im so sorry), so much praise it's sickening, fingering, sickly sweet sex idk how it can get cuter, it's practically fluff. protected sex, talk of cum (is that a warning? idk but I get grossed out about stuff so fair warning), food, eating problems, weight, insecurity, potential fertilty problems from trauma but its a brief mention. uuuhhhhhh I think thats it

************************

“They are going to be like this all weekend, aren’t they?” Will said from his driver's seat as him, Benny and Frankie watched Santi exit the doors of the women's shelter, giggling with Laci as she hung off his arm.

Benny sat in the back. “I love them, but jesus christ they are like teenagers.”

“I think they’re sweet” Frankie smiled, watching his best friend so happy made him happy.

Will turned to Frankie incredulously. “What’s going on with you lately? Acting all lovely dovey”

Benny kicked Frankies seat “Yeah, I thought being there all summer you’d get sick of them”

Will glared at Benny for mentioning Frankie’s living situation, something they were supposed to be pretending wasn’t happening while Frankie focused on sobriety. He had taken a basic engineering job to give him something to do, something to focus on. Nothing fancy, not a lot of pay, he didn’t want to take the money from anyone who actually needed it, but a simple 9-5. A place to be, a schedule, and it had seemed to be helping. Not that it was a cure, by any means, he was a full time pilot when Rosa was born and his license came under review due to his coke use. Coming back from Columbia, he lost it, but could reapply in another two years. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to. For one, he wasn’t sure he could trust himself with that sort of thing anymore. If he relapsed and flew, people could die. However, engineer jobs were in high demand, so he took one, and it was helping him keep focus, rather than sit around all day thinking ‘a little couldn’t hurt’.

It had been Laci’s idea. She had started volunteering at the shelter Jana worked at, and said it had helped her, gave her more purpose. Frankie had been spending a lot of time with Pope’s girl lately. She was sweet, cooking breakfast and dinner for him and Santi, and taking care of them and the Millers when they worked on projects. Of course, her new-found friendship with his ex-girlfriend had lead to seeing a lot of Jana. At this point, Jana was comfortable with Rosie being alone with Frankie, even for over nights, although with him staying with Santiago, it wasn’t exactly alone. But still, Jana came over quite a bit, the four of them and Rosie spending hours together. Frankie never stopped loving her. He always would love her, even if by some miracle there was someone else in his life, but he couldn’t foresee that. Frankie didn’t deserve Jana, he didn’t deserve Benny, Will, Laci and especially not Santi, in his unwavering loyalty. Frankie sometimes felt like Santi only stuck around him from a sense of duty, that last family either of them had left. They weren’t blood related, but the two of them had grown up in Huston most of their lives together, and were as much family as the broken pair had. As much as he hated being a burden to Santi, he hated being a burden to Laci even more.

Frankie sat on the couch, watching some infomercial when the door opened. He didn’t even know infomercials were even a thing anymore. Laci emerged from the room she shared with Santi, frowning when she saw him on the couch at two AM.

“Hey Frankie, can’t sleep?”

“No” Fish shook his head. “You?”

“Nightmare. Didn’t wanna wake Santi.”

She was very considerate. It wasn’t like Santi had to be up for anything, he could sleep in as late as he wanted, but she never liked to bother him, as much as Santi never saw it as a bother.

She headed for the kitchen “Hungry? I was gonna make some pizza rolls”

God, her and Santi shared the same braincell half the time, that fucker loves his pizza rolls.

Frank shrugged. “I could eat”

“Don’t tell Santi I’m microwaving them, he’s an oven purist.”

Laci and Frankie giggled watching some strange add for wearable towels. “Is it bad this makes me want it?” Laci asked, mouth full of the last few pizza rolls.

“That is the ugliest towel I’ve ever seen in my life Laci”

“I’m a sucker for advertising, what can I say?”

There was a pause, and Frankie watched Laci yawn. “You don’t have to stay up with me”

“I’m not” She lied, watching the TV.

“Laci.”

She turned to him. “I know how it is. I didn’t hardly sleep when I first came here. It’s a lot better now, but I know how hard it can be.”

Frankie nodded. “Pope told me you guys used to spend the night on this couch when you both were up.”

Smiling fondly, looking away as she tugged on the hem of her floral PJ’s. “Yeah, that got me through a very hard period in my life. He was there for me, never asking anything in return. I didn't need to talk if I couldn’t, he was just… there.” Laci looked at him, carefully. “I want to be that for you.”

Frankie was overcome with emotions. He wasn’t quite sure what he did to deserve Laci, Jana and the guys in his life. “No, sweetheart, you haven't even been back a year, you have enough to focus on without this old addict's problems.”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’ll just do what Santi did for me. If I’m up, I’ll come out here, and if you’re awake too, we can eat pizza rolls and watch TV. This way, I can have company without waking Santi. This was our special place for a time.” Laci patted the couch and smile at Frankie. “It can be ours now.”

When Santiago woke up that morning, he assumed Laci had already gotten up. He pulled on a shirt and padded out in his boxers to find Laci and Frankie asleep on the couch, Laci’s head resting on his shoulder. Another time in his life, another group of friends or another girl, he might have been jealous or suspicious. But he knew Laci, and he knew Francisco, and it warmed his heart to know they took care of each other. They were family to each other as much as they were for him.

Santi listened to Laci chatter about her day as he walked her to Will’s truck. When she first started volunteering at the beginning of summer, it had been for one hour increments. The first day Santi took her in, he felt almost like a dad at the first day of preschool. He had half expected her to get overwhelmed, to cling to him as she often did, maybe even backing out. But with a kiss on the cheek, she said goodbye and almost skipped away from a stunned Santi, over to where Jana waited to introduce her to the people in the childcare department. Jana waved at Santi, and by the cocked eyebrow on her face, she seemed to be thinking the same thing Will, Frankie, and Benny would tell him ‘she’s not as fragile as you think she is’.

It wasn’t that Santiago thought she was fragile… well maybe he did… after what she went through? Could you blame him? Sometimes it was hard to reconcile the girl he found all those months ago, handcuffed to a chair, blue lipped and face covered in blood with her hair matted to her skin, to the healthy girl who smiled and ran around parks with Rosie. It was hard to reconcile the girl he thought was dead, who didn’t initially respond to him, who couldn’t even look at him, with the girl who completely submitted and trusted her body to him. The juxtaposition between the girl he had to carry the last leg of their journey out of the woods, whose feet were bloody in the misfitting shoes Benny had found her in the house, who wouldn’t leave Santiago’s presence for months, to the girl he watched happily walk away from him to go help children and family in need, despite her own trauma. She continued to blow him away.

Santi was tempted to wait in the parking lot, but she made him promise to go somewhere. He went to the McDonalds down a few blocks, and by the time he came to pick her up he was fairly certain the anxiety he had been fighting back was entirely one sided. She was fine. Laci asked him to still come in to drop her off and pick her up, still getting used to being alone. Two months in, she was well liked and did good, and Laci had been volunteering longer hours. Santi had shifted from nerves to pride. Here she was, going to therapy, still regularly checking in with doctors and nutritionists, but she still took time out of her week to help children. Every day, he found another reason to fall further in love.

Opening the door for her and holding her hand as she climbed up in Will’s stupidly high truck, Santi followed in after her, pulling out the bags Laci asked several times today for him to remember to bring.

“Hi everyone!” Laci chirped, everyone said hi, and happy birthday. Despite only volunteering for a few months, Laci had been surprised with cupcakes when she came in today. One of the moms at the shelter heard it was her birthday and whipped up the treat for her. Laci promptly began crying, but happy tears. Laci didn’t want anything for her birthday, joking that compared to last year, a regular day was a treat. Santi was not thrilled with her dark joke, and said ‘Well, now that you say it like that, we have to do something’ They settled on a weekend trip, Santi getting a cabin on a lake a few hours out. They’d spend the weekend together, coming in Friday, fishing on Saturday, and head home sunday. Benny had found that the country was having a little concert with a local band, and suggested they all go Saturday night, which Laci seemed excited about. Other than that, just a simple weekend away. Frankie and Will agreed to grill for their ‘gift’ after Laci insisted she didn’t want anything but their presence. “I got you guys all presents for the trip!” .

“It’s your birthday, and you got us gifts?” Fish turned around to look at her, as did Will as they were still parked.

“Oh so that’s what you bought” Santi commented.

“I told you not to look!”

“I didn’t! I just saw a charge from etsy on my card statement, I swear I didn’t snoop, baby”

Laci eyed him suspiciously, but went back to the others. “Okay, so everyone remembers Benny’s ‘women want me, fish fear me’ hat right?”

Frankie groans.

“The one fish threw in the bonfire?” Will asked rhetorically. “Yeah I remember”

Benny made the sign of the cross. “RIP to a real one”

“Okay so these are like. A play off of that. And no one has to wear them outside of this weekend, I just thought it was funny. Sorry Frankie.”

“Let’s see what you got, manita” Frankie encouraged.

“Okay, first, for Santi” Laci pulls out a hat and hands it to Santi.

He reads it out loud “Fish want to have a beer with me, women want to fix me.” He glances over to Fish “Well, it’s not wrong”

Frankie smiled. “Women do want to fix you.”

“ME NEXT ME NEXT” Benny was bouncing in his seat.

“Okay okay okay” She handed the next hat to the right where Benny sat.

“Women want me, men want me, fish want me” Benny barely got the words out through his giggles. “Ah yes, the three genders“

“Well, there was one that said they/them want me, fish fear me, but I felt that didn’t really encompass” Laci gestured vaguely “You’re whole thing”

“She’s calling you a whore, Ben” Will called from the front.

“No I’m not!”

Benny hugged her “I love it, Laci, I’m never taking it off” He covers his blonde hair in the hat, grinning.

“Frankie, this is yours. I know you like your regular hat, but if you can at least wear this for a picture-”

“You got me a hat?” Fish interrupted her, his face so serious, brown eyes wide.

“Well, yeah” She said, finding his. “I wouldn’t just leave you out”

Frankie took his, reading it outloud with a smile “Women want me, the minds of fish are unknowable.”

“I thought it was funny, because, like, you’re a bit of an enigma, but women do love you. It was kinda hard to find one for you, because you are fish in this hats scenario but… yeah”

Frankie took of his ’standard oil’ hat, adjusting his new one with a shy smile, trying to not let his emotions get the best of him. “I love it, Laci, thank you”

Laci smiled, then Will spoke. “Okay hun, lets see what you got for me” he held out his hand for his, then read it. “‘Let any fish who meets my gaze” Will tried to hide his little giggle. “Learn the true meaning of fear-” The stoic, quiet man laughed loudly “Jesus christ, Laci.” He unsuccessfully composed himself to try and read he last line through laughs. “For I am the harbinger of death” He covered his face laughing, a broad smile on his face.

Laci grinned, looking around at her friends all wearing the hat she got them “And this one” Laci pulled out the last one “Is mine”

Santi leaned over to read it, amused by Laci wearing a fishing hat with her white shirt and pink skirt. “Government agents want me, fish fear me”

Laci clarified. “Well, I figure you’re a government agent, and you…” She trailed off, blushing.

“Want you?” Santi finished, taking her chin in his hand. “Fuck yeah I do, babydoll” and took her in for a passionate kiss.

Will, ever literal, chimed in. “Calling him a government agent is a bit of a stretch. That implied the work he did was legal”

The evening went smoothly, everyone settling into the cabin and Will firing up the grill on the patio to make baked bean and sausages. They were far removed from any other cabins, so the music was loud, Laci jamming to it.

“Pope” Will said, watching Laci go to town on a guitar solo. “Wanna explain why the 5 foot girl in a ruffled skirt is head banging to Avenge Sevenfold?”

“Hey” Santi raised his hands defensively “This is her playlist”

“Really? I thought she’d listen to like. Matchbox 20, or Taylor Swift or something”

Benny laughed “Taylor Swift? Why, because she’s blonde?”

Will was going to argue, but he shut his mouth, knowing Ben was probably right.

Ben continued. “Laci and I are going to Breaking Benjamin next month, that girl can rock”

Laughing, Will looked at Ben incredulously. “Santi’s letting you take her to a rock show?”

Laci turned around to give Will a pointed look. “Santi doesn’t ‘let’ me do anything, Miller”

“Sorry Laci” Will apologized, then turned back to his brother. “You can’t be drinking, that girl is going to get trampled”

“Laci!” Frankie called, stepping onto the deck, swinging a colorfult gift bag. “I got your gift!”

Laci turned down the music, looking at him. “Frankie! I said no presents!” But she approached him, eyes wide with excitement.

Fish shook his head. “You said you didn’t need anything, not to not get you anything”

Santi smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Don’t fight it, munequita, being friends with Catfish and getting gifts goes hand in hand.” He leaned in to see what his friend got his girl.

“Frankie!!!” She jumped up excitedly. “Oh my god I love it!”

Santi frowns as Laci pulls out the ugliest thing he’s seen in his life. “Mi amor, what the fuck is that shit”

“It’s a wearable towel!” It was a towel with four holes in each corner like they had seen on the infomercial they watched together that first night. She put the horrific thing on over her shirt and skirt, making Benny look as confused as ever.

“Fish, what the fuck?” Benny wandered over, taking in Laci, who was almost always dressed up so cute, in this ugly towel.

“It’s a wearable towel” Frankie said with a smile. They wouldn’t get it. But Laci would.

Laci practically tackled Frankie in a hug. “I fucking love it!”

That morning, Santi make breakfast for everyone. Just scrambled eggs and sausage as well as starting the coffee, but an attempt none the less. He didn’t have the kitchen skills Will and Frankie did, but he didn’t want them to have to do all the food this weekend.

All the guys were up, and Santi was leaning over the counter talking to his old buddies alone, enjoying some time with just them. Frankie was teasing him over Laci calling him daddy, something Will decided he’d absolutely never let go, and Benny was reminding them they can make fun of Santi, but no one is allowed to mention it to Laci.

Will leaned in front of Santi, hands folded together in front of his face in concentration. “So let me get this straight. No sex”

Santi felt his upper lip curl up in a laugh. “No, Ironhead, no sex, but I swear to god we’re all good in that department”

“Yeah man, I know you are” Will grabs Santi by the scuff of his neck, laughing. “Your neck had no less bruises than when you got fucking strangled!”

The guys all join in on the laughter, Santi giggling as Will touches his sensitive neck, until the bedroom door opens. “Hey Laci, sorry, did we wake you?” Laci looked groggy as she robbed her eyes and padded in, and Santi had to suppress his morning wood at the sight of her in his Fleetwood Mac shirt. It was long enough it went past the shorts he knew she was wearing but god… did it look like she had nothing on under…

“No” She mumbled with a small smile, trying to remind polite despite being so tired. “Jus’ a lil sleepy” she murmered, walking up to Santi who was sitting on the stool, and wrapping her arms around his neck and she nuzzled her face into his shoulder. “Morn’n guys”

Everyone said good morning, and Will offered to make her a cup of coffee. “I don’t know if we have any creamer, but theirs sugar”

A small, loud whine immites from Laci, still buried in Santi’s shirt, before she looked up. “Sorry, that was was rude. That would be great, thank you Will.”

Santi clarifies. “She usually drinks iced coffee from this shop down the street”

“Regular coffee with sugar will be fine, thank you. I’ll survive” She tried to look more excited for it.

“Actually” Frankie gets up and heads to the fridge, pulling out a carton “I brought this” He holds up caramel iced coffee. “I know you liked this sugary shit, and Santi barely remembered to bring the hamber buns, so I got some for this weekend.”

“Oh thank GOD” Laci said, flopping her head back down on Santi, muttering about a hundred ‘thank you’s to Fish as he poured her a cup over ice.

“I’m not wearing a lifejacket!” Laci insisted as Benny, Will and Frankie sat in the boat, waiting for Laci and Santi to stop arguing. Well, as much as the pair could possibly argue with each other.

“Then I’m not wearing sunscreen” Santi countered, knowing how particular she was about that. “And neither is Frankie”

“Oh no,” Fish raised his hands in defeat while Will groaned. “Don’t bring me into this”

Laci ignored him, as he wished. “You’re wearing sunscreen, you’re not getting skin cancer. I don’t need a lifejacket”

“And I don’t need sunscreen, so we’re even”

She pouted at him. Santiago scrubbed his face, trying to hold on to his resolve, but it was hard when she looked so fucking cute. She wore a white two piece, the bottom was cheeky, but she wore the wrap skirt that went with it, uncomfortable with showing that much buttcheek, but perfectly happy with the minimal coverage over her chest and waist. Laci was insecure about her body being so underweight, and her A-cup and lack of ass, no matter how much Santi couldn’t keep his hands off her. She didn’t seem to understand how much she turned heads, thinking the outfit was simple and cute, not realizing how feral it made Santi. The second she stepped out of the bathroom, Santi felt himself getting hard quicker than he can remember since his teens, pulling her into the bedroom of the cabin under the guise of a ‘quick question’ and ate her out, grinding his hips into the mattress until he came in his swim shorts. Luckily, he brought a spare.

“The water isn’t even deep!”

“You are barely 5 feet tall!” Santi crossed his arms.

Benny chimed in. “So are you, Garcia”

Will smacked him.

Frankie was tired. “Santi, put on the fucking sunscreen. Laci, wear a lifejacket”

Laci shot him a look for not taking her side. “You guys aren’t wearing life jackets either”

He rolled his eyes. “Because we’re all over 6 feet!” Fish groaned, taking off his new hat before running his fingers through his curls and putting it back on.

Just like the old days, Santi could easily read her expression. ‘You aren’t 6 foot.’ Laci crossed her arms right back at Santi, mirroring his determined stance, and raising an eyebrow with a small smile. He knew there was no malice behind it, and she knew he only meant well, even if she did feel a little childish. “I thought we were past you babying me”

Santi smiled back, and took her face in his hands, squishing them until she made a cute pout. “I’m not babying you, I just want to protect my baby” he let go of her face and tickled her neck just a bit

Laci giggled, beaming up at him.

The guys all groaned.

Will flopped his head back. “Y’all can’t be doing this all weekend, I’m gonna get sick.”

Laci ignored him too, looking up at Santiago through her lashes, giving her best, sweetest smile that she knew drove him mad. He’d do anything for her when she did that. “Santi,” She wrapped her arms around his thick waist. “It’s my birthday”

Santi groaned, hanging his head. Like the devil who went down to Georgia, he knew that he’d been beat. “You promise you can swim?”

Grinning, she affirmed her earlier promise and went to get in the boat with no lifejacket, taking Will’s hand he extended to help her in, leaving Santi to get in carrying the bag she had brought. Will offered his hand to Santi with a cheeky grin, but Santi smacked it away.

The day was warm, the Florida sun beating down on them, reminding the group why it was called the sunshine state

Santi and Benny had taken off their shirts in the sweltering heat, Frankie keeping his on to not make Will feel out of place for not taking his shirt off due to the scarring on his back.

Laci didn’t want to do the fishing, feeling bad for the fish as they flopped around. The guys had promised to kill the fish quickly to ‘put it out of its misery’ as Ben said. Santi was not having good luck. He didn’t really fish often, that was more Benny and, ironically, Catfish’s thing, the pair of them going out on fishing/drinking trips that Will was certain would end up with one dead. Santi had very politely asked for no alcohol on the boat. The cabin was fair game, but given Benny’s inability to pace himself and the way Frankies drinking picked up since attempting sobriety, Laci didn’t want to worry about anyone drowning. They all happily sipped on the wide variety of pop Laci was sure to bring, as well as the water she made them drink.

Everyone ate the sandwiches Laci had packed, taking a break from fishing and simply enjoying each other's company.

Santi was applying sunscreen to Laci’s fair skin, wondering how long he could keep fighting the boner that was growing in his shorts, when Frankie looked up from the lake he had been peering in and nudged Laci “Hey, look”

The two of them peered over the edge, Will telling them to be careful and not fall in, when Laci saw what Frankie was pointing out.

“Santi look! A turtle!” She pointed.

But before Santi could look, Ben came shouting “WHERES THE TURTLE!”, barreling to the opposite end of the boat, tipping the entire thing over.

Santi’s instincts went to grab Laci in some vain attempt in keeping her in the boat, but everything went wildly confusing before he even registered he was in water. Quickly, he oriented himself, popping up under the capsized boat. He could touch the bottom of the lake floor, but the water still rose to his mouth. Not taking more than half a second to take a breath, her dove back in, swimming under the boat and popping up the other end, only one thought on his mind as his head came over the surface

“LACI!”

Santi can’t see shit in the water, not from where he is barely standing. Will spots a ball of white in the water and quickly scoops Laci up in his arm bringing her up into the air where she gasped for breath. She quickly tried wrapping her arms around Will’s neck, clinging to him for dear life as she sputtered for air. Will pried her away, slinging her over his strong arm and smacking her back a few times until she spit up the water that had gone in her mouth.

“Lace!” Santi quickly swam over, trying to stay above water as he held her face. “Baby, are you okay?”

Regaining her breath, she held onto Will’s strong arm for dear life. “Yeah” Laci gasped out, smiling softly to let her know she’s okay. “I’m okay”

Santi wanted to yell at Benny, but he knew that would only upset Laci more.

Benny had gathered up everyone's hats, and luckily the coolers had remained locked up tight. “Fish, help me tip the boat up. Santi, get the cooler since you need a fucking floaty”

Santi glared, but went to get the cooler. Will grabbed the dry box and Fish and Ben got the boat tipped back up. Frankie helped lift Benny into the boat, and Benny instinctively reached out for Laci as Will lifted her up. As the others climbed in (Santi needing extra help, to his grumbling) Benny pulled a towel out of the dry box (the ugly ass towel Frankie got for her) and tried to dry her off until Santi got in the boat. Benny quickly moved aside, sitting on the bench beside her as Santi knelt between her legs, holding her face tenderly as if she would break. “You doing okay? Can you breathe? Does your throat hurt? Is there water in your lungs?”

“Santi, please I’m fine” She smiled, mostly recovered from her little scare. She thought it probably freaked Santi out more than her.

“Do you wanna go home? We can go home. Or to the ER, do you think you breathed in water-”

“Santi” Lace held his stubbled face in return, looking into his brown eyes with an intensity she only used when she really needed him to listen to her. “Look at me. I didn’t drown, I’m okay, I’m perfectly fine, okay?”

He wanted to argue, he wanted to keep doting on her, but he knew he needed to dial it back. “Okay, if you’re sure your fine. You’ll tell me if you feel funny, right?”

“Of course, baby” Laci kissed his forehead.

Will had already started the motor, guiding the boat back to the cabin.

“Well” Benny said, breaking the tense silence. “This still went better than the last time we were all on a boat together”

Will and Frankie laughed a bit, and after a pause, Santiago smiled, adding “Well to be fair, the boat went fine. It was the whole prior part” Which made the guys laugh more.

Laci smiled back, happy Santi relaxed, but was curious. “What happened the last time you were all on a boat together?”

The guys all exchanged looks; Benny had assumed Santi had told her the story.

“Oh” She said “This is the story about the money, isn’t it? It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me” She knew they were all secretive about it.

Santi wrapped an arm around her, pulling that monstrosity of a wearable towel around her. “I’ll tell you all about when we get home, baby. It’s a hell of a story”

“Yeah” Frankie added “You could make a movie out of that shit.”

Laci and Santi took a nap that afternoon. Well, Laci did. Santi held her tightly in his arms, carefully watching her incase of any warning sign something was wrong.

“You guys ready?” Laci called from the bathroom in the master suite where she was getting ready.

The guys were all waiting in the living area where Santi called “Just waiting on you, hermosa”

He heard her come through the door. “Sorry guys” She apologized for taking so long.

Sant turned to look at her and- holy fucking hell. She was, predictably, in white. A simple dress, nice and snug at the waist with a skirt that flared out, flittering around her thighs as she did a spin for Santi who was, also predictably, gobsmacked as he watched the short skirt, thinking about how he’d like to get under it. The neckline is what got him through. Laci was small chested, thus she had the ability to wear deep cut dresses… ones that required no bra.

Swallowing thickly, Santi stood up, ready to grab her and pull her into the bedroom for the second time that day and holy fucking shit when did he become this fucking horny? “Quick question La-”

“Oh no” Fish caught his hand, pulling a distraught Pope back. “None of that shit, lets go”

The concert was fun, even Will had to admit. For being a local band, they weren’t half bad, and the food venders were good too. Will could be a bit of a foodie, and even he gave his stamp of approval to several as he sampled along.

Santi hadn’t stopped doting on Laci all night, caressing her hair and leaning in, asking how she was feeling, despite her insistence she was perfectly okay. Will couldn’t imagine Santi as a dad, he’d out do every helicopter soccer mom there ever was, and god forbid someone or something actually hurt his kid. Will had geared up for a fight after he fished Laci out of the water, certain that Santi was going to yell as Ben, Will had seen that spark in his eyes that was a surefire sign one of the two hotheads of their group was going to start something. But Laci smoothed his edges, and she was almost as defensive of Ben as Will was. So Santi sat back, dialing his anger in and concentrating on Laci.

Santi could tell Laci wanted to dance.

Santi could not dance.

“I’ll be right back” Santi got up, and Frankie wondered what got him so suddenly flustered.

As he came back, refusing to tell them where he had been, Frankie stood up, holding out his hand to Laci, who was sitting at the bench under Santi’s arm, drinking a lemonade in contrast to Will and Frankies beers, and Benny’s weird girlie drink. Boston by Augustana was playing.

“Can I have this dance, manita?” He smiled at her, Laci’s face lighting up as she took it.

Santi watched her walk away, kicking himself.

Benny leaned in “You gonna do something about that, old man? Or you gonna wait until one of the young men eyeing her like a piece of meat ask her to dance next.”

“Santi can’t dance” Will clarifies.

“Bullshit! I’ve seen you dance with a shit tone of other women.”

Santi groaned. “Not like that.” Santi gestures to a grinning Laci, who was happily dancing in a square waltz with Frankie. “I can dance like…”

Will chimed in at that. “Like a man-whore”

Groaning yet again, Santi slumped in his seat and hung his head back, until he felt Ben grab his hand.

“C’mon, Santi, let’s go” Ben pulled him to stand up.

“Ben, what the fuck-”

Benny moved Santi’s left hand to his waist. “I’m teaching you to dance.”

Frankie glanced over, and started laughing, gesturing for Laci to look at the scene before them. Benny was holding Santi close as Santi watched his feet, Ben yelling at him to keep his eyes up. Will was leaned against the lit lamppost, smiling widely as he laughed at the train wreck before him.

Laci smiled fondly at the pair. Santi and Benny were definitely the most high strung of the group, and between how much they loved each other, how much they loved her, and the demons they both were fighting, tensions sometimes bubbled over, the two of them fighting only second two the Miller boys brotherly bickering. Laci knew Santi was irritated at Ben for knocking the boat over, but refrained from yelling at him for her sack. It was nice to see scenes like this, to see them getting along so well, a reminder of how much they adored each other. Benny looked up to Santi like Benny did Will, and Santi loved Benny like a little brother, both would do anything for each other.

“Hey Laci?” Frankie spoke, drawing her back to look up at him.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really happy you're here with us.”

“Me too, Frankie” She opted to wrap her arms around him, and danced like that until the song faded out. When the next song started, she heard the ever familiar sound of ‘Leather and Lace’ start. Gasping, she lifted herself off Frankie’s chest and looked to where she thought Santi and Benny would still be “Santi!” But he wasn’t there. She looked around a bit, disappointed he was missing their song, when she felt a tap on her shoulders.

Santi stood behind her, smiling and handsome as ever. “Miss Lacina” With one hand in front of him and one behind, he bowed, then extended him hand to her. “May I have this dance”

Jumping up a bit, she squealed, then composed herself. Laci curtsied, “You may” she whispered a thank you to Frankie who took his leave as the band started singing Stevie Nicks part.

Is love so fragile? And the heart so hollow, shatter with words, impossible to follow

It was sloppy, it was not smooth, nor was it nearly as graceful as Santi wanted for her, but he didn’t step on her toes.

Laci gave him a quick peck on the lips. “You did this, didn’t you? The song.”

Saying im fragile, I try not to be, I search only for something I can’ see. I have my own life, and I am stronger than you know

Smiling, he returned the kiss on her forehead. “Yeah, local bands will play about anything when you pay them good money”

“Santi! You did not”

You in the moonlight, with your sleepy eyes, could you ever love a man like me? And you were right, when I walked into your house, I knew I’d never wanna leave

“I did” he grinned at her. “Anything for my perfect girl”

She snuggled up close to him, not caring about a perfect dance, just wanting him close. “You know, you never actually asked me to be your girlfriend” She teased with a smirk.

Santi gives a little shrug, a cheeky smile on his face. “We’re just hanging out”

“Hey!” With mock offense, she gently pushes him.

Sometimes I’m a strong man, sometimes cold and scared and sometimes I cry

Santi moved his hands to cup her face, holding her close as she pouted. “I’m kidding, muncequita” He pinches her cheeks before he kissed her little nose. “Will you be my girl?” He let go, taking her hand and girl her a spin, admiring her little skirt twirling up to give a peak of her lavender underwear that he distinctly remembers mouthing over last week. His hands settled on her hips. “Will you go steady with me?”

Laci giggled, beaming at him. “Yes, you goofball.”

First time I saw you, knew with you to light my nights, somehow I would get by

Holding her close, Santi couldn’t help but think how much he’s changed for the better. Will always said she softened him, and it was becoming clear how apparent that was. Not that he was completely softened; he had just killed someone for her two months ago, but he was getting her anger issues underwraps. She had helped him with Frankie over the summer, helping his best friend get sober. And she called him a goofball? Him? No one had called him a goofball since he was a kid. She saw something in him no one else did.

Lovers forever, face to face my city your mountain, stay with me stay

Santiago kissed her forehead and sang along. “I need you to love me, I need you today”

Her hand trailed down his back. “Give to me your leather, take from me, my lace.”

Santi helped Laci drag Benny into bed, placing him on his side with a trash can on the floor and a water bottle on the counter; same way they set up Will and Frankie, both of who were also drunk off their ass. Santi had refrained from drinking so he could drive them, and Laci didn’t drink, leaving them to take care of the three drunks.

Waiting at the doorway, Santi watched as she kissed Bennys forehead (this move was reserved exclusively for Benjamin) and thought she’d make a good mom. Santi had never wanted kids before. Not that it was an active decision against, but more than the idea of having kids with someone never seemed like a plausible scenario. His job, his life, the way he was, he didn’t think anyone would even want kids with him. Laci was different. She was so, so different. She was kind, she was patient, she was forgiving. She cared for their friends in a way that makes him think she’d only ever excel as a mother.

Santiago wraps an arm around her, gently closing the door to not wake Ben, and they retire to the bedroom, Santi getting ready for bed first.

Laci was suspiciously secretive as she grabbed clothes from her suitcase and took suspiciously long getting ready for bed.

“Lace?” Santi called as he sat on the bed in his boxers. “You okay in there? Need anything”

Laci couldn’t help but smile and roll her eyes as she heard him. God, what did she do to deserve him? Everything that had happened since her brothers death told her she deserved bad things, and yet, with Santi, those nasty inner voices didn’t stand a chance. He protected her with a ferocity, and loved her so passionately she couldn’t help feel, yes, she deserved everything he gave her, and in turn she’d give everything she could to him. It was a partnership, and she had never felt so whole in her life. “I’m okay, just stay there, I got a surprise for you”

“Ohhhh, a surprise for me?”

She could almost picture the boyish grin that was sure to be on his face, something that was reserved only for her. Laci looked at herself in the mirror in the lingerie she got earlier that week with Jana, who insisted on buying it for her birthday gift, since she couldn’t be at the cabin due to work. Too skinny, she thought. She always had been, long before drugs took hold or her year being starved, it hadn’t taken much for her to go from skinny to gaunt, it was no wonder Santi still treated her like something delicate.

Of course, it didn’t help that she dressed the way she did. Laci considered her clothing choices. She often felt she dresses immaturely, pink dresses and ruffles and lace, but she was uncomfortable dressing in what might be considered ‘sexy’. Shopping with Jana, she would tease Laci by holding up leather bra’s or strappy bodysuits that made Laci blush. She wanted to look like, to dress up for what she was about to do. She knew Santi would devour her either way; she distinctly remembers his hands between her legs many a morning, begging for her as she wore sweats.

But tonight was different. Tonight was special.

“Are you ready, Santi?” She called out, taking a deep breath.

“Always, for you.”

She opened the door and Santiago Garcia stood up, flabbergasted. It was no secret that whatever Laci wore had a tendency to make him hard, especially the clothes she wore this weekend, but this was special. This was something he knew she picked out specifically to get a reaction out of him. And a reaction it fucking got.

He walked over to her, the light make up she wore to the dance had been retouched, and the gentle waves Benny had put in her hair still stayed, but to his shame, his eyes were drawn to her body. She wore a bra and panty set, the light pink that always matched her lips and cheeks. It was skimpy, flattering her body type well, but the thing that got Santi’s mind whirring was the mesh. The breasts and the crotch were a thin mesh material, over slightly covered by the flowers embroidered in the cups and panties, but that did fuck all to cover her nipples.

“Do you like it?” She asked nervously.

“How about this one?” Jana called in the lingerie store.

Laci turned and felt her eyes widen in embarrassment at the damn near contraption Jana was holding up, a leather corset that had so many straps and buckles Laci wasn’t sure which end was up.

“Laci” She said, laughing as she put it back. “Girl I’m just fucking with you.”

Covering her mouth, Laci spoke through her fingers. “Oh my god, is that what Santi wants?”

Jana shrugged. “I dunno, that’s what Frankie always liked” She joked, looking through the lingerie some more, but stopped when Laci didn’t join her. She looked up to see a horrified and embarrassed Laci, and decided to stop teasing her. Jana took her hands and spoke in earnest. “Laci, Santi likes you for you. That stuff” She gestures to the more risque items. “Is more my speed, but he’s not dating me, he’s dating you. Flowy skirts and flowers in your hair and all. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, you could wear granny panties and he’d rip them off.”

Laci visibly relaxed at that.

Looking over to the side, Jana spoke again, “Speaking of flowers, what about this?”

“Do I like it?” Santi sputtered out, approaching her. “Baby, if you touched me right now, I’d cum in my fucking boxers.”

Laci was still nervous, wringing her hands together. “It’s not stupid looking? Everything else was leather and crotchless and it just didn’t feel right and-”

Santi dove in with a soul consuming kiss, like he was trying to inhale her, sucking her tongue before pulling back, taking in her body again. “Holy fucking hell, Lace, jesus christ”

She giggled now. “I take it that’s good?”

“Good?! You’re fucking crazy” ‘Good’ was no where near enough to explain how she looked in that. “It’s your birthday but I’m getting the gift” He went for her neck with gentle kisses, but she lightly pushed his back.

“Actually, there's another reason I’m wearing this…” She looked nervous still, but significantly more relaxed, oddly, after feeling Santi’s aching erection pressed against her stomach, knowing how desperate he was for her.

Santi watched her intently, dialing back how feral he felt for her.

She continued, holding his strong biceps and looking up at him. “I’m ready”

All he could do is blink at her. “For what?”

The pink on her face was evident, even in the dark room, lit only by the full moon pouring in. “I’m ready” She said again, just slightly more assertive, a light smile on her face.

“Baby, all my blood immigrated from my head to Dicktown, USA the second you stepped out in that, you’re going to need to be very clear with me”

Entangling her fingers in his soft curls, peppered in gray, she kissed his lush lips. “For sex, Santi”

The man was too stunned to speak. “Oh shit. Are you sure? We don’t have to-”

“I know, baby, I know, But I want to. I trust you” Another kiss, to the corner of his mouth this time. “There’s no one I love and trust more in this world”

Santi grinned at his pretty girl in his arms, hands trailing as he wrapped them around her, toying with the material that barely covered her butt in little flowers. “Tu eres mi flor, mi sol, y mi corazón” He kisses her right cheek. “Mi todos” a kiss on her little nose. “Tu eres el amor de mi vida, mi chica bonita” Finally kissing her lips.

“Tu eres…” she starts, trying to think of the right words “Mi hombre guapo?” Laci asked tentatively.

Santi’s smile split into a wide grin. “Oh yeah? My smart girl can speak spanish?” He kissed her again, this time with a need, with desire, walking her back against the wall, slotting his thigh between her legs, knowing how much she loved to get off on them.

“S-Santi…” Laci whimpered, chest already flush in the moonlight as Santi worked her up, hands on her hips. “Always feel s’good” She tried to focus on kissing him and moving her body along his bare leg, the boxers having ridden up, the thick curly hair of his thigh adding to the sensations between her still-clothed sex.

“Yeah? You like fucking yourself on my thigh, pretty girl? Could spend my entire life like this, watching you unravel and I don’t even need to take my clothes off. You that desperate? Needy little thing.”

“Only for you” She braced herself against his strong arms, using the leverage to work herself up and down him. “Never felt like this with anyone else, wanna come on your leg, please?” She said breathlessly, little blue eyes pleading.

“Oh baby, I’ll never make you beg.” Santi watched her come apart, and knowing how she reacted when she was close, Santi cupped the back on her head, just in time as she threw her head back, the only thing preventing her from smacking into the wall. “Good girl, my good girl, take what you need, use me, use me to come, sweetness”

She cried out, getting close but her pace was faltering. “Please Santi, it’s too much, need you, need you to help me”

The feeling was too intense, she couldn’t concentrate on her own pleasure, her legs were shaking with her approaching orgasm, but that made it impossible to work herself on him. “Laci, need you to look at me babydoll” He coaxed her blissed out face to him, her lips parted and eyes cloudy in a lusty haze. “Daddy will take care of his little girl, always, but I can’t have you hitting your head, I need you to rest on my chest, okay? Don’t move, can you do that for me?”

“Uh-huh” She nodded desperately, and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his to keep herself glued to his warmth and his hands moved to her hips, taking over the work for her. She was a doll in his hands, malleable and submissive, but he only used that to bring her pleasure. “Be good for you”

“Good girl” He kissed the top of her blonde head. “I got you, munequita, just relax, focus on the feeling, focus on me” Santiago guides her as she remains tightly nestled in his firm chest. “Think about how good it feels, how wet you are, how sexy you look in that underwear, fuck! Fuck baby, you look so fucking good.”

Tears were brimming in her eyes, her body felt hot and flushed as her core tightened sharply. “I'm your pretty girl” She whimpered, so close to the edge.

Santi beamed; his face buried in her hair. “Yeah you are, you’re my pretty girl, say it again"

"I'm your pretty girl, Santiago, your pretty baby"

Her thighs clenched around him, nails digging into his skin and it was a good thing everyone else was out cold, because Laci shouted his name. He held her close, wrapping both arms around her as she continued to wriggle against him, prolonging her orgasm in the throws of the pleasure he had given her. “That’s it, let go, let me hear those pretty sounds”

With one last whine, she slumped against him, feeling soft and relaxed the way Santi always made her feel.

“Jesus, Lace” Santi peaked at his watch. “You came in less than five minuets.” he grinned at her. “New record.”

“Did I do good?” Laci, to Santi’s delight, kept wriggling on his thigh, looking up at his, so doe-eyed, so eager. “Wanna make you feel good” She cupped his face, giving him a deep kiss, running her tongue over his lips. “Do I deserve it? Do I deserve you? Please, wanna feel you inside me, want you to claim me” She continued rutting against him. “Want you to make me yours, ruin me so no other man could ever be good enough.”

Fucking hell, he loved when she got like this, when she acted like he was something she had to earn. He said he wouldn’t make her beg, but when she did it on her own volition…

Santi scooped her up, knees be damned, carfully craddling her as he laid her down and- fuck.

“What’s wrong?” Laci saw his hesitation.

“You’re not on birth control, are you?”

She shook her head.

Santi signed, taking all his restraint to not tear apart the flimsy material of her underwear. “I don’t have a condom”

Laci desperately pawed at him, clutching him to her, not wanting his warmth to leave. “Santi, it’ll be fine” A flicker of embarrassment came across her face and she dodged her eyes, looking distant. “Everything cleared up, I promise. I wouldn’t have done anything with you if it hadn’t”

Santi realized what she was worried about. “No! No, baby, I know, I’m not worried about that.”

“It’ll be fine once, Santi, I don’t even know if I can get pregnant“ She was aware that bringing up her trauma wasn’t the sexiest thing.

Santi shook his head. “You’ve been through so much, an unplanned pregnancy would just-”

Laci’s face lit up “I know! Benny!” She exclaimed, scrambling out from under Santiago and pulling the top sheet over her shoulders.

“Laci, what-” But she was out the door, surprisingly bold in her compromising attire barely covered by the sheet. She must really be desperate for it.

She crept into Benny’s room, gently nudging him awake. “Ben. Bennnyyyyy”

“HM?!” Benny jolts awake, still very drunk. “What’s going on?”

“Benny” She leans over, whispering still. “Do you have a condom?”

A wide, sleepy grin splits across his face. “Aw shiiiit, y’all finally doing it”

Laci returns the grin and nods.

Pointing to the wallet on his bedside, Benny lays back down. “In my wallet, it’s XXXXXXXXXL so I dunno if it’s work for Santi” he jokes, awfully proud of himself.

Laci grabs what she’s after, kisses Benny’s head, and scampers out the door as Ben mutters something about ‘crazy kids’

“Got it!” She skips in, nearly tackling Santi in a kiss as they roll around on the bed.

“I hope Benny doesn’t remember this in the morning” Santi mutters between sweaty, wet kisses.

“Santi, please?”

“So fucking desperate.” He licked a straight line from her collar bone up to her jaw, groping at her tits. “Wanna taste you first”

He feels her shake her head against him. “Just want you, please, I’m ready, I need you, need you inside me”

“Lace-”

She pulled back, pouting. “You said you’d never make me beg”

How could he say no to that? “Can I open you up first? Get you ready to take me? I’ll give you every inch, I promise, Muñequita”

“Okay.” She begins sucking into his neck, giving the bruises Will had earlier remarked on.

Sliding off her underwear, Santi’s rough fingers feel her slicked up core, and he smiled a shit-eating grin. “God damn, all that cum on my leg and you’re still dripping”

Laci smiled, but was in no mood to fuck around, bucking her hips up, before Santi pinned her down with one hand. “Patience, mi vida.” His voice is low and close to her ear before she feels two fingers tap at her lips. “Get them nice and wet for me” With a nip at her collar. “Not that you need it”

When he felt she was accustomed to his fingers, he slowed down, asking gently as he looked her in the eyes. “Would you like to be on top, so you can control the pace, my love?”

Laci thought about this. “Can I start on top, then switched?”

Santi nodded, eyes shining with love. “Of course, baby girl, anything you want.”

Clothes fully off, Santi sat up against the bed frame as Laci knelt before him, straddling his hips as Santi gently kissed her. “I have to ask, one more time… You don’t have to do this because we danced together, or this trip…”

Laci kissed him. “We don’t have to do this because of the trip, or any of the nice dates you take me on, because you take care of me, or you saved me, or because you give me the best orgasms of my life. I want to do this because I love you, I know I’m safe with you, and I trust you to protect me and make me feel good.” She assured him, hands in his hair again and she raised her hips up.

“My good girl, my brave girl, my pretty baby, mi amor” Santi’s lips took her in for a kiss, feeling her inhale as she sank down on him, carefully but not slow. He had prepared her, and she really was ready for him. He groaned, feeling her warmth envelope him, tight and hot and wet, everything she had felt on his fingers but tenfold on his cock. Fucing hell, he was so worked up by this point he had to actively concentrate on not coming. “You okay, baby?”

Laci was enraptured. She fell so full with him inside her, so secure in his arms, and so, fucking, good. “Great, Santiago, you feel so good, so fucking perfect” She began to rock her hips, when Santi hissed, eyes clenched tight and he firmly held her still. “What’s wrong baby?” She asked, hands touching his face, suddenly very concerned. He looked in pain.

Santi shook his head. “Nothin. Just… sit still for a minuet.”

“Why-”

“I’m trying not to blow my load inside you right now” He grunted, taking calming breaths.

A wide, cheeky grin came across her face, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than for Santi to come. Tentatively, she moved on him, and his grip harshed.

His large brown eyes opened. “Lacina…” he said sternly, a warning in his tone.

But all she could do was giggle as she continued moving.

“Fucking brat” Santi leaned over, effectivly switching positions from a giggling Laci straddling him, to make her lay down. The last bit of his resolve falters, and after months of dreaming about it, he begins fucking into her at a punishing pace. “Give me a color, Laci” He checks in, just to be sure.

“Green! Fuck, harder, please? Fuck Santiago, you’re so fucking deep”

Santi leans back, watching himself disappear inside her. “Fucking hell baby, you’re doing to good, can’t believe you’re taking me so well when you’re this fucking tight.”

Her hands tug on his dark and light hair, spurring him on. “Wanted you inside me for so long, you always take care of me, wanna be yours want to make you feel good, daddy”

He kissed the litany of scares sporadically littered across the fair skin, landing on the one on her forehead she always tried to cover with her long bangs. “Always feel so good with you, always. You make me so fucking happy, never been happier than I am with you.” He felt her tightening again and concentrated him hands on giving her more pleasure. “You gonna come again? So soon? Gonna come on my cock?”

“Uh huh” She nods, giggling and smiles melted into a girl on the verge of orgasm, fucked out and sweaty, but ever pretty. “Make me come, please, wanna squeeze your cock when I come, wanna make a mess all over you.”

He felt her fluttering around him, a familiar feeling on his fingers she was about to spill over. “Come for me sweet girl, you earned it. Say my name when you come, fucking say it.”

“SANTI!” She met his eyes as she shouted before it all became tied in with a moan, her legs shaking from orgasm number two. “Thank you, thank you daddy, thank you, thank you.”

His own release had his vision blurring and his hips sputtered, spilling into the condom as he collapsed onto her breathless form. Santi moved to eat her out, determined to give her a third on his mouth, but he felt her grab him.

“You okay, Laci?”

“Yeah” She breathed out, smiling. “M’just too sensitive for another one, is that okay?”

“It’s always okay, pretty girl, always. Lemme get you cleaned up.”

She held onto him. “Can we just lay here for a while? Wanna be close to you”

Santi hoisted her up, draping her over him to lay atop his chest like she used to when they kissed on the couch late at night. He noticed her shiver, the layer of sweat getting cold as the cabin air conditioner blew over them. Santiago pulled the blanket over them. “I love you, Lacina Dumas”

“I love you, Santiago Garcia” She replied sleepily. He had a feeling she was going to be out cold in a few minuets, but he had no problem getting her settled in bed while she slept.

Just before he thought she was asleep, she spoke again, barely awake. “Santi?”

“Yeah Lace?”

“Is Frankie gonna be okay? Benny?”

Fuck, how long had she been worrying about them?

He held her close, kissing her soft blonde hair. “Yeah Lace, they’ll be okay. Might take some time, but I think everyone is gonna be as happy as we are.”

****************

Wow. Okay. It's real a trip guys.

When I posted the sneak peak into chapter 1 months ago, I didn't think anyone would be interested. and yet, here you all are!!!! I love you all, thank you for joining me on this ride. Laci is very special to me, and this has been a journey. I love exploring her and the guys, getting to know Jana, meeting Lorelei etc. Please let me know your thoughts! This chapter took forever to write!

Comment here if you'd like to be tagged in chapter 1 of Frankies story set in this same universe: Take Your Time, which will start after I get Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside finished.

Frankie’s story starts here, Take Your Time

Also comment if you’d like to continue getting updates for occasional one shots. I have a Valentine’s Day fic planned, and although santi and lacis story will continue through the eyes of the others, I want their big events (I.e. wedding) to have short one shots, so those who don’t want to read the others stories can still keep up with our two fav horny teenagers

Also coming up if you like The Card Counter, my story Black with OCD!William Tell and Autistic!OC

And huuugggeeeeee shout out to my love, @welcometostayingawake for helping me with outfits, for brainstorming developing Jana, and all around being so enthusiatic about something so important to me, always being willing to talk about these guys <3

(p.s. i hope the smut was worth it. I know I edged your for 12 chapters and like. 5 bonus chapters.)

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings @trinkets01 @p0edameronswife @welcometostayingawake @spxctorsslxt @username21mk @lucianadraven32 @sgt-morgan @xaestheticalien @howaboutcastiel @soapjay

#santiago garcia #santiago garcia smut #triple frontier #triple frontier smut #triple frontier fanfiction #oscar isaac #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia fluff #triple frontier fluff #frankie morales #frankies morales angst #santiago garcia hurt comfort #leather and lace fic

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lexcat-11 · 4 months

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it’s a late night rambling about life stuff night. tumblrs basically an echo chamber for me so I don’t mind lol.

content warning for discussion of fatphobia & what could be considered disordered eating. stay safe if this does reach anyone at all <3

it’s crazy to me how I, fortunately, was able to grow up with very little internalized homophobia and to have had such positive representation and acceptance primarily on the internet but also irl. I consider myself a very rebellious person who won’t let anyone invalidate me when it comes to stuff like that. I love being a lesbian, I’m not ashamed to be asexual. That’s me and I know I’m valid. I love who I am in that regard.

But god damn on the opposite side of things internalized fatphobia has not nearly been as easy for me. I guess I gained exposure to it so young and so directly it makes sense but it’s everywhereee. Weight loss ads on the tv, not finding clothing sizes in stores or their patterns being carelessly made so they don’t fit, seats in theaters not fitting my legs, the lack of representation, the hatred and immediate association with “ugliness” or “failure” from so many close minded and unkind people, direct bullying even like a month ago.

like when I was in *preschool* I remember daydreaming about the stuff a stereotypical little girl does— princesses, magic, all that, and at five years old, in my own imagination, I’d stop and tell myself “I don’t look like me. I look like another girl who’s prettier because she’s not fat.” FIVE YEARS OLD

I just have so much grief for that little girl and just everyone who might have ever had to go through it. Bodies are treated like trends and so oversexualized and some people would rather wish for someone to harm themself than be unable to sexualize a thin body. And at five years old I didn’t believe I could be pretty unless I lost weight.

Caring so much about it is against my values. I don’t care what society says about my sexuality or interests! But I do care about this. And it sucksssss because why should it matter? What if my healthiest self is the heaviest? What if I don’t work out anymore because it became a form of self-punishment? Why should anyone get to comment on my health??? Why is my body any of your business??? It’s so disgusting not to even mention all of the overlaps with ableism, the impacts it has on the trans community, and fatphobia’s roots stemming from racism. Why is it regarded as so normal? Why are we making five year olds in preschool sitting in a circle on the mat on the floor daydream about being thinner so they could be pretty enough to be part of a story? I’m an adult and I still envy thin people so much. I want to have this confidence boost and wear things they are but I’ve been taught that my body looks wrong in them.

I’m genuinely trying to unlearn all of this. Again idk if anyone’s gonna read this but I feel like being open because I know it would help me to know I’m not alone. There are plus sized and fat-bodied individuals who look like me and I think they are so so beautiful and I don’t ever criticize them the way I do myself and I don’t understand why I’m so unkind to myself.

I’m gonna try to stop having such a negative relationship with food and scrutinizing myself. I’m not going to focus on exercising and burning calories but instead moving my body so that I feel good. I share the image of sculptures of Greek goddesses and the fact I am nourished and have energy is something to celebrate. I have a body that naturally gains and retains weight. I don’t want to spend my life fighting it and hating myself trying to chase love that I deserve to be shown without conditions. I am a human being. I am alive and my body is the least interesting thing about me.

#internalized fatphobia #tw fatphobia

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eryanlainfa · 9 months

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curious…..any future hcs for varian hugo and aiden (do they have a ship name? idk)……..i just love that wip of urs of their older designs i still think abt it a lot. they are so silly.

!!!! ;w; thank you 💕

(I refer to them as "New Home" in my notes but never really used it outside of me and one friend- if that's something.. I tried to mix their names once but nothing sounded right)

I have plenty of headcanons and snippets for them after Vat7K !!! I'll try to stay relevant to the time period you're reffering to but no promises. Random headcanons under the cut !

After the possession, Varian started to dissociate more often, he gets genuinely lost in his own head and once back to reality he sometimes forget if he was even thinking about anything at all. His body also gets cranky at times so he decides to exercise a bit more to compensate.

Aiden sometimes have small memory gaps. (because they got brainwashed at some point-) They were used to keeping notes of everything (they have multiple notebooks filled with everything they learnt already) but it's even more true now. They're afraid it'll force them to stop working as physician but so far no incident happened.

Hugo gained some weight (finally) he isn't fat at all but still get selfconcious about it. Aiden and Varian love to see him in better shape and make sure to remind him of that.

Aiden finally uses their wheelchair way more often because their journeys took a toll on their body, it results in their shoulders getting a bit broader since they use their upper body more.

Varian discovered his hair was more curly than he thought since Hugo forced him to actually take care of it. They love doing each other's hair and Varian was sad when Aiden got a haircut.

As royal physician Aiden has lots of obligations and is always busy. Every so often Hugo and Varian assist them however they can.

They built a pressure pipe system (Idk how to call those) connecting the engineers' lab to the physician office so they could communicate easily during work duty

They all three hate winter for various reasons. Every year through the season Aiden starts working even more (lucky for them they always have more work to do during winter anyway), Varian gets more careful about literally EVERYTHING it's almost obsessive, Hugo is actually the one grounding them back to reality because having them with him at home reassures him.

Every year Varian and Hugo help Quirin during harvesting season. They also make sure to visit Aiden's mother every so often.

When they've been too focused on work they plan random date nights. Said date night is actually them working but like... In the same room.

On a similar note they once invited Raps and Eugene for an activity. It was this big puzzle they wanted to do and it drove Eugene mad because NO ONE was talking, they were all hyperfocused on the puzzle.

Hugo sucks at cooking, his taste buds are dead, he just throws random shit and hopes for the best, he's forbidden from the kitchen.

Aiden makes the most horrendous tea because they focus on properties rather than taste. Varian and Hugo still drink it anyway.

There was a time they kinda lived in the lab, to everyone's horror.

Btw it took them some years to decide to actually live together. And some months more to decide to live in an actual house.

Aiden still has their room in the castle near the physician office. They use it when they're too tired to go back home. Whenever they actually plan to stay in advance, Hugo and Varian join them there.

I make Hugo lose his right hand after Vat7k (because why let them rest-) he has a few set of hands for his prosthesis but it's a hassle to change them since contrary to Aiden's leg he needs to connect some cables and stuffs.

Varian got interested in magic a lot (difficult to not be after all the magic he encountered).

There was a time Hugo and Aiden could both communicate in a Saporian dialect and Varian couldn't understand a thing, he did agree to not learn the language so they could have it for themselves but he heard them talk in it so much he simply started to understand words out of habit. He ends up learning the language properly and now the three uses it to mess with everyone else.

They genuinely LOVE listening to the others rambling for hours.

They've been driving each others (and everyone else) insane by casually mentioning getting married for YEARS before it actually happening.

Gender is dead to them- trust me

I think I could go into more details for all of those- I have too many random thoughts about them but since I STILL haven't finished to write their timeline I keep on changing some things and I'm indecisive a lot-

#Is that too long ? Is that enough ? Do you want more ? 👉👈#Are you for real interested in them ???😭 Fkfjfkfjf thank you they are indeed very silly #I have SO MANY random quotes or snippets I'd like to eventually illustrate or write correctly at some point #pansy-picnics #Eryanbles #Eryanswers #Oc x canon #vat7k aiden #vat7k varian #vat7k hugo #Eryanwrites #airigo

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spikeinthepunch · 9 months

Text

okayyy i finished the new ending in Lisa the Joyful so yeah, heres another long Lisa post. this will more so have a short list of what i did and didnt like of the game since i know opinions are often mixed. but ill have a long focus talking about the new content compared to the rest of the game. and will later go on about characterization and writing in detail.

Also while you can find a no commentary video for the new ending, almost all uploads skip an earlier portion of it, so I uploaded it myself! with timestamps.

TW for uhh the same triggers- sexual, physical, verbal abuse mostly.

SO OKAY. Okay.

The brief on the main game....

What I did like:

I like the general story. I enjoyed the horror of watching more and more joy mutants arriving, even some of the warlords being joy mutants already, and normal characters like the uhh shelf vendor guy being a mutant. additionally things like wearing a mask mattering. i think it was important to too still have some weirdos bc thats one of the key things in displaying the cycle of these men's behavior. music always good too of course. i enjoy Buddy's internal conflict too and i dont mind here characterization-- its just the pacing. I actually liked the epilogues a bit more than what the endings actually told us lol... tbh they carry more weight in terms of giving us information about the past. But the ones that hit hardest are the ones where Lisa tells Buzzo to mutilate her so her father wont want her anyways. and the one with Brad's father forcing him to drink alcohol and go with him to lisa's room (to presumedly watch his father abuse lisa).

What i didn't like:

the "original" endings (not the new definitive one) were weak and i am sure most feel that way. I think actually the issue for me is the choice... cuz playing with joy? well i think the "stay with them" makes sense as she gets more fucked up and unstable (and assume addicted). the joyless route makes me feel like i should fittingly take the "leave them" ending bc she is mentally aware enough to know she still hates what happened to her and wants to leave them behind. the choices of them feel conflicting to the routes you might choose but you dont think about it bc there is no consequence to taking joy! the pacing of course is a big complaint. cuz see i dont think the story or writing is horrible i just think it needed to be longer in order to expand on all those things rushed through. the ideas would feel good if the pacing didnt speed through it. the Yado epilogue is fine too but i think just left more questions than answers than the endings themself so i would have rather done without it imo.

As stated i will go WAY more into the characters after I talk about this new stuff. I will talk heavily about what happens in it too so feel free to read this later if you dont watch it... but you really should look at the new Painful and Joyful content as they also kinda go together.

NEW CONTENT..... kind of new ending, it plays directly into it. Unlike Painful where it doesnt alter the actual ending content. and i will go over the normal endings a bit more in relation to this bc of how it affects pacing etc...

So On one hand I like what it added and on the other hand it wasnt great-- which all plays into the games already existing pacing issues. Which is a shame. i liked collecting the items, the meaning of the statues (n the dialog being the same as the Painful one), and the exploration leading up to the warlord fight. I chose not to fight the warlords because they were so damn strong and I like that there was recognition for not fighting back. Idk if i feel like there was a good reason for them to be there but I think it at least gives more meaning to the warlords since they didnt DO that much in the game other than to be killed. Most had barely anything to say.

For the bigger Secret at the grave for Lisa-- I liked this a lot too actually. Getting to hear from the guys their thoughts about Buddy that is from the assumed context theyre already dead here (w how Sticky's death is mentioned esp) is just kinda nice. The further content with Berny and Dusty, where Berny tells him to fight harder and to treat girls with aggression.... yeah that hits. The cycle of abuse really just continues huh. The rest of it is fine, I feel like it does give some better commentary on character's thoughts but it is quite short, and is left on a more metaphorical note with the flowering skull and whatnot.

Now is the part I see more conflict on AGAIN and I dont blame people for being conflicted about it. I didnt mind the way Buzzo talked about Brad in the original-- I dont think that writing was an actual excuse to Brad, I think it was just Buzzo trying to blame himself instead for everything (the new contents dialog with the sticky/rick/cheeks also had good to say on Brad's behavior and not excusing it but talking about the abuse of drugs in the context of that). I did feel that the conversation wasnt enough in the original though, to fully imply that he was talking like that or to give a better conversation on drug abuse. Buuut here we are w the extended new dialog with Buzzo. I did like how he started getting more depressed and angsty about Lisa! And the comment "she would have loved it here" is interesting bc i feel the implication is that she would have loved being in a world where all these men are now gone. but let me move onto the rest bc like, that matters the most here.

woof okay. So Buddy goes off when Buzzo says that which i get. However this conversation falters in the same way the whole game does. Buddy gets a LOT of talking time here. And she kind of keeps going in a way that really doesnt feel plausible you know? The new stuff added more connection between her and Lisa but its not enough to make us think she should be defending Lisa. I think there couldve been a neat exploration of all this comparing to Lisa but Joyful doesnt have that time. While I cant claim it, Buddy's rant kiiinda feels like a rant from behind the scenes with how less in character it feels. Buzzo is made far more pathetic and I don't disagree with this realization that he'd dissolve into a little pathetic man, again the game just doesnt have the time to make it work better.

and dont even get me started on Buddy's inconsistent opinion on Brad... this is like, annoying and I mentioned it in relation to the ending choices. After this new dialog rant Buddy sounds like she is forgiving Brad/coming to realize things about him that gives her more understanding. And i think that is fine BUT the issue is that right after talking to Buzzo the game returns as normal and when she sees mutant Brad approach, she reacts with genuine upset at seeing him and comments how she never wanted to see him again :/

I know at this point there is no way they could have "salvaged" Joyful for this release-- that would be too much and I dont think itd be right to get rid of the old endings entirely (Painful didnt, nor did the new content change anything about it). Its a shame- some of it was good. some of it i think they just shouldnt have done (the end buzzo fight) because it just conflicted more/kind of highlights the pacing problems. if anything i think leaving out that buzzo rant would have made the rest of that feel like it did help the pacing because it gave a pause between the ending of the game. anyways.

CHARACTERIZATIONNNN

righto. i think i covered pacing enough so i will try and leave that out of every comment i make here lol.

So like, I dont have a problem with Buddy's intentions in the game exactly. Her actions in many ways make sense... at least I would say that its fine she is very violent. That is literally the main thing Brad taught her whether or not you look at the start scene of Joyful, it reflects in how she would always be told how dangerous the world is too. The pace of course, makes this all happen so fast.

And of course the biggest hit that I think turns off many is how much talking there is. I certainly love hearing more from characters, Brad was quiet because he was brad, yet no one else needs to be quiet too so i think thats fine. But with Buddy's life it seems like she should have been quiet until her mental state and mindset shifted due to her treatment and justification of violence. even in Painful she seems relatively quiet and Joyful takes place right after pretty much.

In terms of others-- Rando is fine, like hes not that bad. We didn't know him all to well and what we know of Dusty i expected him to be a nice kid, esp w the whole adopted thing. But his back and forth with Buddy was more annoying w how short the game was (doing things, wanting to run to the other place and being stopped for a scene at the campfire by force. repeat.) I did like the whole deal with his friends and later his death too. Buzzo so i dont completely hate buzzo minus the fast jump in the new content. but he was pretty unhinged in Painful and to see it completely drop seemed wrong. i do think it make sense he probably felt loads of guilt for brad... but we just again, didnt get enough time with these characters.

Other characters? Well i mentioned it above but the warlords did NOT get much of any character. Which sucks bc if those parts alone had been extended (their area being longer or more full of interactions) i think it would have helped the game too. In terms of the other antagonist, Bolo, considering he was new for this game I think he was just fine. His role was small in a good way and honestly when he did appear it was for good moments that worked. The whole scene with him, Rando, and Buddy where Buddy tries to save Rando was probably my favorite part lol? Simply bc i think it worked well for all of their characters. For all of them I think it was my favorite moment of characterization-- Buddy's choices to drop or hold him both work for her i think. And yikes, disgusting moment with Bolo. And I will be real, I think Joyful needed that. The game was short so i wouldnt have wanted more but, Painful had it uncomfortable and gross moments and I think that is important to an extent of really pushing the importance of narrative and experiences of Buddy (and reflecting Lisa).

uhhhhh yeah i think thats most of what I can say. iirc i wasnt around for the old kickstarter but Joyful was a stretch goal right? and i heard Austin isnt exactly happy with it either? its really really a shame that it was a stretch goal that felt forced. I get why it was a tempting goal for people but.... it just sucks bc its clear that is why this game turned out the way it did. i wonder often if him not doing much else with the series is simply bc joyful had to be the "conclusion" and its not one hes exactly happy with either. tbh the series could have just been Painful and it would be fine. but if Joyful wasnt a DLC i imagine it would have been likely we'd see a full fledged sequel instead and it sucks it had to go that way. i definitely dont hate the creator for it but itsucks for everyone that even the additions in Definitive cant fix what happened already with that game.

#lisa the joyful #this ended up being 2k words LOL #lisa rpg #lisa the painful #lisa

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