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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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how tf are you homophobic/a terf if youre working with deities bro the gods are queer as fuck if i see anymore of that lgb/ fighting for biological womens rights bulshit people on my fuckin timeline imma pour some sriracha on a lemon and were gonna have a fuckin problem

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 2 months

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what my deities see when i give them their offerings

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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me: do you guys have a nickname you call me?

gods: yeah

me: can you spell it out for me?

gods: *everyone is yelling the letters at the same time*

me: this shit is just gibberish please speak one deity at the same time okay? Apollo please go first

Apollo: fcorcj

me: are u sure its even a word

Apollo: yeah just search it

me: *finds an old book after half an hour and finds the meaning*

me: decoration?

Apollo: yeah :)

me: okay? Aphrodite?

Aphrodite: c / o

me: oh this is actually adorable thank you

Aphrodite: :)

me: Dionysus its your turn

Dionysus: apdedi

me: addition?... just call me a trinket man /j

Dionysus: lmao

me: Marzanna do you have one for me too?

Marzanna: yeah:)

me: is it in polish?

Marzanna: no:)

Marzanna: amndcp

me: a cactus needle...?

Marzanna: lololol

me: be so for real do you guys see me as your cat?

gods: yeah lol

me: alright Bastet?

Bastet: hxddbe

me: is it even a real word?

Bastet: yeah but you will only find it in an old ass book lol

me: can you spell the meaning in english?

Bastet: nah :3

me: do you guys enjoy making fun of me? /j

gods: yeah <3

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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personally i choose to believe the deities reach out to me so much because they love my hilarious jokes (it's actually my shitload of trauma)

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 2 months

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no one told me about this miasma shit before

like wdym gods refuse my offerings because im on my period

what do i do with those chocolate chip cookies now???

wdym i cant even do an e-offering or dance funny in your honor 😭😭😭

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 12 days

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not me saying im a silly little jester and my deities just agreeing 💀 lmao its like im a walking entertainment i just go into the room and they go "oohhh white boy! do something funny!"

#pagan #paganism #witchcraft #deity work #shitpost #hellenism #hellenic deities #hellenic pagan #hellenic polytheism #kemetism #kemetic #rodnovery #rodzimowiercza wiara #rodzimowierstwo

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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did i ever tell yall how my practice looks like a sleepover party

other witches: oh the great dark lord please bless me with the knowledge of unknown and guarantee prosperity on my family

me: *pulls a pendulum* so like do you guys wanna watch a horror movie and get some popcorn and then we can play 20 questions *the pendulum swings in "yeah"* lmao cool cool

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 2 months

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okay but do yall get intrusive thoughts too in your practice? i get so many fucked up thoughts especially when im tired or laying in bed at night

this situation is more impulsive thoughts tho its a funny one

ill be just doing my business in the toilet and suddenly my brain is like "let me call every deitys name rn without any reason"

and they come in and go "you called?"

and im sitting here like ":'D please respectfully get out of my bathroom"

now whenever i go i just speedrun the whole thing and yell in my head the whole time so my brain won't be able to say their names randomly

#pagan #paganism #witchcraft #deity work #greek gods #hellenism #hellenic deities #hellenic pagan #hellenic polytheism #kemetism #kemetic #rodzimowiercza wiara #rodzimowierstwo #witchblr

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 2 months

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i started to recognize people who like my posts or reblog them and i think about you all as my friends if you are less than 21 years old im adopting you tho since im older hehe

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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i wanted to buy a stim toy but the cashier had to send it back because it had no code and i got sad but a few minutes later another cashier came back with the toy and just put in a code from a different thing of the same price and so i was able to get the toy i wanted and its all thanks to my deities thank you everyone i love you <3

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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i love upg in deity work if you have any upg to share please do so in the comments or in reblogs i love it sm

#pagan #paganism #witchcraft #deity work #greek gods #aphrodite devotee #bastet devotee #morana devotee #apollo devotee #dionysus devotee #hades devotee #persephone devotee #hecate devotee #hellenic deities #kemetism #kemetic #rodzimowiercza wiara #rodzimowierstwo #rodnovery

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 21 days

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me: thats like the third or fourth time. when will you guys stop reminding me to save money?

the gods: when you start saving money

me: touche

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 2 months

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i feel scared because here I'm literally so cool and people ask me for advice and I'm commenting and posting and being funny and it's like man this is not the me i know

me in real life has no friends, lays around on the couch for the whole day and looks at memes

here I'm cool, I'm quite popular i think? I'm funny, I'm liked

i like this version of me more

but i also don't know if it's the real me or if it's just a version of me im trying to be

like irl im a loser but here im a funny cool loser

and so i was thinking about it and i saw 333 angel number which goes

"three encourages you to put energy into your own growth and expansion and your own jouney, where you want to be, where you'd like to be and encourages you to dream big"

and its like oh thank you my deities whoever sent me that message

"with those 3 easy steps you will be able to become the person you want to be! just remember to leave a like and subscribe for more content!"

i joked and you know they think im hilarious

so i might have a chance to be a cool funny loser someday in real life too

as for now imma just walk my dog and sing to hype boy in honor of the gods

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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me: *talking about how i love my deities and feel comfortable with them and treat them like my family*

my deities: 222 <3

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 1 month

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me three months ago: theres two of them omg

me two and a half months ago: five???? theres five of them!!!

me now: EIGHT!!!??? THERES EIGHT OF THEM

it just feels so unreal sometimes

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 18 days

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me: *thinks about how i need to get used to getting hate and get that "idgaf" mindset because theres no way you can get everyone happy*

the deities: yo we gotta put some lesson in that somehow

the deities: *put felix's verse from "muddy water" in my head on spiral*

me: is this your way of motivating me?

the deities: yeah, you love stray kids and it works right?

me: yeah it does thank you

the deities: <3

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