#see what life brings me here

[mokeonn]

One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.

The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.

#simon says #i just developed a new habit (it's too tmi to put here) and I just know that it's some weird shit #it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it #but it's some shit that would end up viral where everyone would go 'yo op you should break up with them thats weird' 😔 #i was just thinking about this though because every week or so I learn that I can just do what I want #because there's no fucking object use police I can do what I want #i HIGHLY suggest getting into this habit. if you find something annoying or frustrating you can just do it differently #'I hate washing the dishes because my legs hurt from standing for so long' you can bring a chair and sit or you can break it up into chunks #like on the one hand I'm learning this because I have autism and a plethora of other mental disorders #and it's FINALLY clicking that I can self accommodate whenever and however I so please #I'm just sorta learning that if doing something makes me feel better/happy/gets the job done to do that thing #even if it requires using an object in an odd way #hell there's even some little things I've been playing with #for example: my whole life we sorta just lifted blinds only about halfway up #just sorta how we did it ya know #well recently I decided I wanted more natural light in the sunroom/my office so I wouldn't have to turn on the lamp #and I lifted the blinds all the way up to the very top #and honestly?? it fucking rules. the room looks nicer; i get natural light; i can see the forest out back and it's quite calming and nice #like for ages I just never thought about doing that because it just never occurred to me that I could #i just always put blinds about halfway up because that's about how high blinds do in my household #another little one I learned is that I can just... wash my hair #sometimes when I get too depressed or if my body doesn't need a shower but my hair is greasy #I just shove my head under the bathtub facet and wash my hair #it's just a small thing but for years if my hair needed to be washed I would just take a full shower #now I just fix my greasy hair. bc greasy hair is a huge ick for me but sometimes my body is still clean or im too tired to fully shower #like there's nothing stopping me from doing that and it doesn't hurt anyone. it's just a way of bathing that I wasn't taught #but yeah those are some recent examples of me learning I can just... do stuff differently #the free will is kicking in babes and it has decided I love finding ways to use things differently #it's why im doing a bg3 run where I just press loot all no matter what and use whatever I can in odd ways #anyways I might delete this later might not who knows

[aroacehanzawa]

i'm going to be real with you guys for a moment. i don't think i'll continue following bsd much after this point

#i take back what i said about being excited for what's to come. i mean i am. in a very general impersonal way. #but the way the series is going. if the ending of the anime is going to be followed by the manga in a similar direction #is just very different from the silly armed detective agency vs port mafia authors with superpowers slightly high-stakes slice of life #that i originally signed up for. i've felt this way the whole decay of angels arc and just stuck around to see what happens #and because i care about the characters. bsd was always a character-focused manga for me #but the direction it seems to be taking is this massive epic entire-world-at-stake military scifi drama #where super epic power-up style ability weapons (and one-off overpowered nameless ability users are introduced and killed off in the same #scene. like the time manipulation catgirl) take the forefront at the expense of actual character focus and character development #like why are most of the (original) cast completely unaccounted for in what was meant to be a satisfying ending. #did asagiri forget that atsushi is the main character. why did tachihara's and sigma's arcs get cut short like that. #and frankly i feel like bsd started to take this direction from storm bringer onwards. the focus and scope of it is very different #to for example the untold origins or dazai's entrance exam or even 55 minutes. but if i were to theorise i would say that the scope of #the current direction of bsd must have started germinating during the 55 minutes light novel. if you can see what i mean #anyway more importantly i find that the tone is now entirely different from early bsd. it's just not the series that i fell in love with #so i think it's best that i stop here before letting it turn sour like jujutsu kaisen is to me now. #i have the manga (and anime) that i can reread (rewatch) up to the perfect crime arc whenever i want #i can reread the sskk fight of volume 20 whenever i want. i can revisit sigma and nikolai's chapters. there's wan. there's the light novels #and there's the wonderful fanfics and fanart and so many metas to read. that's what brings me joy more than the series itself nowadays. #that's all. end of era i guess. to an extent

[homocrafting]

I was watching this ethubs megacut video and it's composed of LL clips and there's a part after... I think Tango? maybe? blows up the middle tower in their fortress that Bdubs says smth like "We can always rebuild" and Etho replied "I'm done building" and like. do I need to explain the metaphors you can make out of this. they're making me ill again

#ethoslab #bdubs #ethubs #ecstra explosions #liksten. listen it's just. #he really doesn't; y'know? #he doesn't build anymore- relatiinship wise; which is what I'm going for here #at least not with Bdubs #bear with me here before you go calling me crazy #even when Etho reaches out to Bdubs he can never bring himself to fully build that bridge #in double life he tried to get Bdubs to see hey; I want this bridge built; a castle with me has better walls than one with him #but those walls are so thick he's forgotten how to let anyone through #and when Bdubs says he's happy with Impulse Etho knows there's no way to build that bridge #and then in lim life Bdubs builds *so much* of that bridhe for them #it's so many moments but 'it'll still be you and me' (and etho never says yes) encompasses it best I think #Bdubs spends all of Lim life building that bridge between them; but Etho would have had to build that last connection #but Etho's done building #but *NOW* in SL Etho built a house with Cleo; and he's building again- he built a bridge with Grian and one with Cleo #and Bdubs said he'd fail for him. Bdubs asked 'oh; Etho?' when Cleo asked abt his boyfriend. #but ultimately Etho looks at bdubs and can only see that broken fortress #and in the end he never says me too #sorry sorry went on a tangent. sorray

[keungking]

watching people shamelessly admit that they just skip over every only friends scene that isn't firstkhao

#don't get me wrong the eclipse is good but i thought we were watching a movie #like for the plot #not for the memory of another movie #only friends is so good too! i didn't expect it to but it's queer cinema fr like i love queer cinema #''the other characters are boring and uninteresting'' this might be presumptuous of me but that might be bc you skip all their scenes #the amount of people i saw both on here and on twitter say they might drop the whole show when raymew happened was flabbergasting #it's such an interesting story to me! all these life situations and fates and experiences and how they intersect and bring different things #to light #and you're just watching to get to see akk and ayan kiss again? #i was gonna say no judgement but that is exactly what i'm doing i am judging HOWEVER you do you tho like keep it up! if that makes you happ #i'm just surprised at the state of things #only friends #keung talks

[drusill-a]

RTD is so in love with David Tennant that it makes him look stupid, huh.

#listen friends i dont know what to feel #i love everyone involved #I'm so happy that Donna has her memories back and will spend the rest of her life with her best friend by her side #but that ending felt like it was straight out of a christmas Hallmark movie; my teeth ache from all that saccharine sweetness #I'll be able to justify it if RTD is setting the stage for bringing Tennant and Tate into his UNIT spin-off which seems to be in the works #if that's not the reason it's hard for me to swallow this plot twist with the biregeneration #firstly: RTD did something similar at the end of the fourth season—splitting the Doctor to “give” one version to Rose #it's a bit annoying to see him essentially do the same now by letting another version of the Doctor to stay with Donna #secondly: I missed the emotion in this #I spent a week bracing myself for heartbreak but we went a bit too far in the other direction #we got a cutesy ending where everything resolves through a deus ex machina #yet it’s those bitter and grief-soaked moments are what RTD has always excelled at #when it comes to the Doctor's regeneration and farewells to companions #it's hard to feel much about this plot development #some things should remain final and some goodbyes and endings are unavoidable #the conclusion of Rose’s arc (both from s2 and s4) or Donna's ending in s4 #were among the most emotionally intense moments in the history of television #I missed a bit of that here #perhaps if there were more bitterness in the 14th Doctor's ending if he had to pay some PRICE for this biregeneration #(like not getting his TARDIS #being told that the Fifteenth takes over the regeneration ability #and the Tennant Doctor will die of old age) #emotionally it would have provided viewers with a cool punch #without that it seems like RTD wanted to have his cake and eat it too #have a new Doctor and give his old characters a last-minute happy ending that doesn't make much logical sense #I was hoping to feel more considering how much I love these characters #but my main reaction is an eyeroll #on the positive side I really hope to see Neil Patrick Harris in the show again he was a great villain #and Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor is already so freaking great!!! <3 #doctor who

[bellerintwo]

"we have 4 finals left to play guys focus" "real arsenal fans aren't celebrating until the season is over" for the love of everything that is beautiful in the world, shut up

#if I see this take again I'm genuinely going to start crying lmao ahhhhh #and if you get to the end of the season and you never celebrated anything then what?? they're not bringing a trophy out for you mate #did anything matter last season? if the only way you measure success is with a trophy then no maybe not #but when I put on last season's kits I don't remember the games we lost I don't even remember losing the league #I remember Martin officially being named captain and both nld games and the last minute winners and farewell Granit #even beyond last season of all the games I've seen in my life I remember maybe 6-7 losses #more than that I remember how fast hector was and when nelli debuted and mikel off the bench in his last game #I remember arshavin's 4 goals and that mf who broke aaron ramsey's leg and how watching cesc made me fall in love with football #how on the weekends it was arsene wenger who raised me #no one lets our players live and now you're not going to let your fellow fans live .... literally what are you doing here #it’s not your job to be calm it’s your job to support the club! you’re supposed to bring the passion wdym no celebrating until the end ???

[sskk-manifesto]

(´･ᴗ･ ` )

#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show… #Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk. #Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die. #I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me. #I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time... #Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply. #Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it #(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author). #Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry. #Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative #“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging. #Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia. #The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.) #Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)– #bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them– #and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)– #stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?) #I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild). #But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking. #I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further… #But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views– #and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything #That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry) #so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt. #Tune in next week for more bad takes #random rambles

[brutalmasks]

bunny mask is literally the living embodiment of songs like ' dog days are over ' by florence + the machine and ' rebel girl ' by bikini kill. and no, i will not be taking criticism

#SOMETHING FEELS AMISS: musings. #LET ME TEACH YOU: headcanons. #HEAVY on dog days are over though. because the dog days of summer are often the most hot and miserable... so saying that they're over means- #that even though it may seem like these days are never going to end... they will and your spirit of happiness will return. #i don't think there is a solid interpretation out there as to what it's about but it is VERY MUCH a song that is about overcoming- #something difficult and / or overcoming depression to me. and that represents bunny mask pretty well i think. she was literally trapped in- #cave for what felt like FOREVER and wasn't sure whether she'd ever be released but she was + she was given a new start with her life in a- #way because of that. and i'm not trying to overinflate bunny mask's character here but... hey. whenever it comes to ' rebel girl ' - #bunny mask is VERY much a girl's girl so i feel like it's equally as likely that she feels the same kind of admiration for other women that- #the singer does and firmly believes that women should lift other women up rather than bring them down. plusss... this song kind of has- #an underlying message in it about the confusion between friendship and sexuality whichhh i could kind of see bunny mask experiencing? #because she is still trying to wrap her head around the different kinds of love that exist and whether if you like someone so much that you- #want to BE THEM... does that mean that you just really like them as a friend or that you're in love with them?? idk but i just love #bunny mask being unapologetic about defending and loving her friends. so yeah. bunny mask is just very special to me okay

[werebutch]

WSBH chara q’s: (you don’t have to answer all the numbers, just whatever you want to 𖢘)

16/35/51 for Scotch

1/6/55 for Atlas

I LOVE YOU

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

okay i truly think scotch argues with seraph in his head all the time. ALL the time. scotch largely ignores them, and vice versa, because he dislikes them and they know it. seraph is very conflict avoidant lol, and as long as hes not a "threat" they dont care to talk to him about their problems. he probably argues with atlas and jacob (his older brother) too, atlas about more stupid small stuff, and jacob about childhood and life stuff :p

im trying to think of more general groups he would argue with but i cant come up with anything BAHAH. hes not exactly conflict avoidant in the annoying libra way that seraph is, he more just ignores conflict for his friends’ (mostly atlas’) sake. idk if that makes sense LOL

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

hmmm.. smallest? i mean scotch strings eloise along for most of the time pre timeskip. its not a main focus but its definitely important in order to understand scotch as a whole. she and scotch go out for a while, and mid way through that he realizes hes GAY gay. lol. and obviously lying to her about that is pretty questionable after a while. especially since he and atlas have been 👉👌 like the whole time. but she kind of knows. well

something a little bigger would be him encouraging or otherwise turning a blind eye to all the weird stuff atlas is up to. he doesn't know what it's like to be a werewolf, he can't say anything, right? lol.... murder is okay if its a talking dog doing it. scotch enabler supreme. actually when seraph is introduced, he and atlas have a 'joke' (kind of starts being real) about luring seraph somewhere to kill them. obviously doesnt happen and gets abandoned. but i think its important to know about their dynamic LOL

51. What’s a phrase they say a lot?

this guy is kind of goofy. i cant think of phrases rn but he has a specific way of speaking.. you could watch pretty much any old pop punk band interview and kind of get the idea. HAHAH

1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

atlas is a big fan of saying 'its fine' for all situations ever. family in mortal danger? its fine. completely splitting? its fine. arthritis excruciating? its fine. hes one of those people that dont like to deal with the fawning of others unless hes feeling real special. Ends up putting people in more danger a lot of the time. i think eloise is the only fan of communication in this friend group to be honest. i should have made her the main character

he tends to make promises he cant keep as well, but thats more general..

6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

i have NO idea. i feel like atlas would be a music snob, so maybe his favorite 'super underground' bands. otherwise he'd probably never recommend raw human meat to another human (no matter how much scotch asks -__-).. (he would chicken out anyway)

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

um. so atlas hates working out. he especially hates running, you know, the thing that wolves are known for doing a lot of? unfortunately the lycanthropy came with a side effect of pretty bad arthritis, so that doesnt exactly encourage him. he DOES exercise, a lot since hes pretty much required for his ermm "side job", but he hates it 😸 besides the arthritis it’s mostly because I think it’s silly that he hates it. yay

#ummm a lot of what i talk about with my ocs are the character relationships but thats why i write. i like gossip. its fun. LMFAO #im actually having trouble deciding whether i want atlas to be a killer or not. like regularly killing i mean. hes definitely killed SOMEON #im really inspired by ginger snaps and scream. i dont even like scream that much but it reminds me of how they are. lol #scotch and atlas are pretty different but theres two things i see as themes. they both hate communication (and that causes conflict; so mor #avoiding). and the fact that scotch lives vicariously through atlas. atlas is doing #what scotch thinks is interesting. for pretty much the entire time; scotch likes to beg atlas to turn him. i think scotch sees the lack of #control he has over his life and sees lycanthropy as power. arguably thats why scotch is so attracted to atlas. lol #idk. thats not canon. im just thinking out loud here. #and yk it is power but not freedom. atlas would much rather just be a regular wolf. hunting and shit. but hes got these damn people here lo #but he sees what his life is like being a lycanthrope and hes kinda like. no. im not bringing that onto you. you dont know what youre askin #YOU KNOW? its goofy. i know. but its fun. LOL #if you (a general audience you but it can be you too grins) want to talk about scotch's confusion about his attraction to eloise we'd be #here all day. i think scotch is an egg. i dont know. i truly think theres some vicarious living (again) through her femininity. #and el is trans so he doesnt see her femininity as unattainable to him. you know? i hope that makes sense lol and im kind of projecting on #to him wif dat. to be honest. but obviously in the other direction. BWAHAH #asks #eucyon #thank u for da ask jesse this is so fun ^__^ and exciting that someone remembers their names HAH #after all this talking in the tags what I meant to say is that scotch and atlas both have sick intentions. it’s just that scotch doesn’t #act on them. and atlas does. so. living vicariously. ok

[glitterghost]

Feeling the ace-solation tonight.

#asexual #aromantic even #it just feels like the whole world looks at marriage and kids as endgame and holy fuck no #people only ever focus on who is dating who and when are you having kids and when are you getting married #like what the fuck #im over here thinking about how much time i can mash together seeing friends #and what books i want to read and bring me joy #and always thinking about these fictional worlds that have brought me so much more happiness than this one #like you belong somewhere else #like what do you do when you know nothing is wrong with you but sure as hell know others would think there is if they KNEW you #in all your ace or aro or whatever else glory #i just want quiet and peace without this looming feeling of people looking at you like youre supposed to be doing more #like you're in some fucked up timeline of having to achieve these life goals that sure as fuck arent yours #like please leave me tf alone #make the norm be however you get your happiness is the goal #the feels are real tonight #an untethered feeling of floating away or something #dont mind me im going back to my asmr videos #these tags are a mess rn

[cliveguy]

im also frustrated with people not really caring about what's happening to trans people here but i do understand why (especially now) it isn't the most pressing news story of the day. but it is also annoying that people seem to be completely unaware of how bad it is here and how difficult it is to medically transition.

#um.txt #earlier this year an american was on my post talking about how much easier people have it nowadays #because when THEY got hormones they had to see a psychiatrist and have proof of living in their gender for 6 months #and it was like. lol. lmfao. #when i went to the gic i was asked about my sex life and what section i bought my clothes from #i had to bring bank statements and my deed poll as proof id transitioned. if i hadnt been out to my entire family #(including extended family) they wouldn't have prescribed hormones or recommend me for surgery #and ofc all that happens AFTER you go through the waiting list which is like 5+ years now #and ofc that's just medical. the actual atmosphere for us here gets worse every day

[bethiewhimsy]

i’ve been stricken with so many problems.

#1) the fucking yearning. go away. i don’t need romantic love. it SUCKS and it’s BAD. disgusting. #2) a sudden repulsion for skirts???? WHAT THE HELL. I LOVE SKIRTS. BUT I CANT BRING MYSELF TO WEAR THEM RN. it’s so fucking weird. #3) i have to actually decide what to do with my life. like. big things. like getting a damn apartment. #4) the crippling fear of growing up has resurfaced. i just turned 20. i don’t want to do this shit anymore. #anyway i’m fine 👍 #i suppose this is a vent post??? but in the tags. #haven’t vented on tumblr dot com in a hot hot hot minute #not since my irl friend started following me (hopefully they’re not reading this but if they are: hi) #ranting in the tags feels SO much safer. like. no one’s coming in here #OH ANOTHER THING. #5) a fucking midterm is here and it takes EFFORT. #it’s whatever im just feeling feelings and that’s all right #at least i have a fun little thing to look forward to this weekend #im going to see a ballet !!! #but damn……::::that makes me think about how i’ll never actually do anything with my life. #like we can’t all be on the stage but hell #like??? the knowledge that it only gets worse from here???????????? what the actual hell #and sometimes i think about how i’ll always have to be in the closet. #which sometimes im completely fine with and other times it hurts me a lot #idk. IDK. #anyway. im 20 and i don’t know what im doing with my life and ive never had a lover and i don’t have many friends #and i don’t have any passions or dreams or goals and we’re all only here to one day die. #damn i guess this is why people journal #maybe i should pick up journaling #i think it’d help tbh #anyway im rlly truly actually done now #edit: I HAVE ANOTHER PROBLEM #6) MY PERIOD IS MAKING ME UPSET. everything hurts and im gonna be so nauseous and gross tomorrow help me. pain & agony #7) i cant fall asleep!!!!!!!!!!! but im so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #8) im gonna have to sit thru a transphobic + misogynistic + toxic ass chapel teaching tomorrow.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the thing about me is that having a crush is fun for the first little while and then I just slowly become more and more overcome with insecurity about it

#like yeah he's friendly and nice to me but I know there's no chance. NONE. that it means anything at all. #no way. like there's no way he'd ever see me that way. We Just Work Together #and it sucks because I genuinely do enjoy just being friends with him! like there aren't many people I've met #who I genuinely click with and we get along well like that. and we definitely clicked as friends yknow?? #and I'm super glad for that. I just feel so stupid for being in love with him when I'm too loud and too awkward and i fidget too much #and I'm just. not an attractive person on ANY level #so like even having a crush is so unrealistic and I hate that. he's the only guy I've ever genuinely wanted to be with #(beyond a brief infatuation that I knew wouldn't work out i was just kinda caught up in the theater stuff yknow) #like.... UGGGHHHH this is bringing up SO many insecurities bc I genuinely want more than a friendship #and gurt called me out the other day by asking how important it is to me that this particular guy likes me back #and I had to play it down bc it's SO important to me like. WHAT am I supposed to do with this??? he's the only guy #I've ever been able to envision a life with and I KNOW daydreaming like that is probably bad and dumb and I just feel #SO stupid for how I'm feeling about this whole thing and yet. I go to church and work with him and it's just really easy and nice #and we work well together and get along and it's just GOOD #and I want that forever #and idk what God is trying to do here but it's making me feel SO STUPID all the time!!!!!! girl help!!!!!! #Lu rambles

[clits-and-clips]

x

#txt #tw #dont read this and i may delete but i just need to say it #i do think about dying a lot #like i dont want to be here lol #people suck big time #everyone here is so nice and lovely and supportive #but you arent physically near me and i guess thats what i need #idk #and i cant just message randoms with all my personal shit all the time #unless i can? idk #the main reason i wont kms is cause my dad wouldnt be able to handle it hes lost too much #i think hed prolly follow suit #and i cant have that #plus other things like my pets etc #but what is the fucking point lol #i know eventually ill move on etc #but the world sucks man #it sucks #i have a good life but my brain sucks and i ruin everything and no one sticks around and i am just a fucked up friend and partner and i dont #see myself getting better #if i told my psych i think about this id get sent off and i think that would make me worse #i just want the future back that i thought i was going to have #that was ripped away from me without warning #no conversation #nothing #and he gets mad at me when i bring that up?????? #yeah its so fair you kicked me out etc but im the bad guy for airing my feelings #fuck everyone tbh haha #im just done

[queers4years]

Indigenous Hawaiians really had a good system going: wake up reaaally early and do most of the days work while it's cool and by the time the sun was up and it got hot the work was done and you're free to surf and socialize. I wish the white people realized they themselves could work smarter and not harder and get time to relax. Instead of calling Hawaiians lazy (and being genocidal about it)

#Ik this happened in most if not all tropical regions that got colonized #they were so pissed that these 'lazy' people got all sorts of fruit and natural bounty 'handed to them' #when those indigenous people were just working before the colonizers woke up and felt no need to kill themselves in midday heat #Which is what's natural for an apex predator: lazing around #Like u see lions in big cuddle puddles during the hottest part of the day. And they have the privilege of laziness by being the top predato #Idk if lions have a specific time they hunt but ik they will hunt at night when people can't observe them #Also Europeans failed to recognize indigenous agriculture and the /purposeful / cultivation of helpful plants (done w/out clearing the land #And even if they were only foraging. Like. If you love the earth and care for it (and not clear it) the earth will love you back idk #Gah! It's just like we coulda eradicated capitalism in its cradle if Euroamericans werent so arrogant and sure their way of life was correc #Like what if they were explorers and not conquistadors and colonizers. And there was a true cultural exchange #Would it have been better if the Europeans never crossed the ocean (even if they weren't there to colonize)? yeah probably #Like while the disease thing wasn't on purpose (initially) Europeans did inadvertently kill a lot of people bc they had no immunity #But I also acknowledge the human desire to explore and see what's out there #But I wish it was like #Europeans: here's some horses and metal tools #Indigenous people: thanks. Here's a way of life more in harmony with nature and an understanding that we're part of the ecosystem #Europeans: oh cool let me bring these ideas back to Europe. Maybe we won't deforest all of England #(I say Europeans but eventually when Canada and America became independent entities they also were responsible for these things) #Capitalism #capitalism is hell #anti capitalism #Colonization #colonialism #colonial violence #Imperialism #conquistador #age of exploration

[fateviled]

life update in the tags bc god wants me dead and i just won't croak

#just gonna ramble for a sec but oh my god holy shit what is life #my depresso has been so much worse in the past few months thanks to irl events and just bad brain vibes so my doc upped my meds (again) #so we're gonna see how that goes bc i really miss being on here and writing these silly little characters :((((( #aside from that i also got prescribed birth control and there's no suffering like<3 the crazy ass sudden cravings im experiencing<3 #IN THE MIDDLE OF DEALING W A STOMACH VIRUS MY NIBLING GAVE ME<3 #there is sooooo much going on but im really hoping i can be on here soon bc i need to be on top of doing things that bring me joy again #so :) hopefully i'll talk to yall soon<3 #╰ 𝙾𝙾𝙲 ╯ ⋯ himbo energy but like ‚ lesbian