#shut up maiora

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sometimes self care is not drawing semirealistic checkered socks in perspective.

#/lh #i don't know #i really dont #what? #yeah. #making fun of myself! as a treat! #shut up maiora #will this even look decent? only one way to find out! *slams head against desk* #wip #id ask why do i do this to myself but the answer is “bet” and i just gotta live with this knowledge hahahah! exasperated sigh.

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this is getting ridiculous there's so much stuff i wanna draw i need to clone myself immediately

#what do you mean i can barely stand up??? no that was me an hour ago im completely fine now and also am capable of drawing 70 things rn #<- I WISH #genuinely just talking at myself here #okay!! plan time: homework is 7 pages +dialogue. i sketched the rough layouts out already and i my teacher gave me the okay to do it digita #i don't think she realized she gave me the okay tbh? but i asked her twice and she said yes so no takebacksies!!! #i have a timer that only does 55 minutes. in 55 minutes can i rough out at least 3 better pencils? ill find out! #i should start with the ending because that's 1 birds eye view like three times and a car that explodes and a bunch of close ups so ez pz #i just gotta figure out one car perspective im giving myself 55 minutes for the car #lineart is gonna be a pain but when isnt it :') #hey did you know there's an entire ship month prompt list??? im seething that's such a dumb idea i wanna do it so baaaaad #whatever #ill figure it out #that's part one of getting boring shit i need to do done!! part two should be easier bc its just hospitals and the draft is already p detai #ok ok ok i can do this #the essay is an essay and the essay is getting fucked i will do it at GUNPOINT #aaaaa #shut up maiora #p.s. edit: i did some of it and ended up doing a completely different plan. sigh sigh oh well im doing my best

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my friend, (who touches massive amounts of grass, is completely social media -less, has never seen an anime in her life, has zero context for anything dr outside of my drawings) looking at me doodling kokichi for the Nth time this week:

"ah yes," points at kokichi "that's the autistic one."

#AND SHE'S RIGHT #/lh #ill be arguing with others about koquichechi bc none of them finished the game so fym you don't get the appeal #others as in classmates #you can tell me how much he sucks and you can't stand him after you *FINISH the game*!! #and its harmless banter really (i will bite them if they keep at it) but friend will pop in “i like him he's autistic” and then leave #LMAO it brings me so much joy #silly #anecdote anthology #shut up maiora

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no longer denying my truth,

":D" is full sentence!!!!!!!

#/j #:D is :D and :D is all it needs to be #you get it right?? right!! always a pleasure doing business with you. #shut up maiora

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ah yes my favorite sonic oc, kokichi. aka purple shadow the hedgehog.

#wip #im gonna keep drawing his hair different everytime i canNOT be bothered #guess what im supposed to be working on! did you guess “not this”? you are completely correct! #shut up maiora

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just watched the pkmn direct. did not win against my brainrot.

#*character that wears white with hair that is both dark and partially purple existing* HOLY SHIT IS THAT KOQUICHECHI FROM DINGUS RINGUS????? #shut up maiora #wip

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wip! based on the fte!! this was supposed to be a small doodle!!! It’s me and my compulsive urge to overcomplicate my life against the world!!!! (/exasperated!!!!!) /lh

#while doobling i proceeded to have an eureka moment about 2p perspective #because in usual maiora fashion between the easy way and the correct way i always find myself approaching shit in the DUMB WAY #<- which essentially means ive been shoving 'cool' fish eyes and 3ps and birds eye views because I DIDNT UNDE 2P PERSPECTIVE #*shoving them in my work #*UNDERSTAND #ANS IVE BEEN DOING IT FOR Y E A R S #anyway took me almost two decades but i figured it out: STOP PUTTING THE HORIZON LINE IS COMPLICATED PLACES THE MIDDLE OF THE PAGE IS FINE #aka 'don't overthink things you dumb fuck' #which is #yeah #buisness as usual lmao #im a very physically dramatic person too so when i figured it out i jumped in my seat and startled a half asleep guy so bad he snapped at m #we laughed it off it was fine #awkward as shit!!! i hated it!! but fine #anyway afterall this nonsense the perspective in the doodle is currently incorrect intentionally pfft #shut up maiora #wip

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*laying down miserably bc im ill*

my dumbass cat who is stupid: "im going to fight your arm"

#/lh #shut up maiora

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local audhd having idiot has to do something not related to their hyperfixation and fuCKING EXPLODES!!1!!!!!! /j

#/silly #don't mind me im just trying to brainwash myself into being productive #i am capable of focusing on things. i am capable of focusing on things i am capable of focusing on things. #im using my stupid blog to keep my stupid self accountable #i did a page so now i get to bitch and moan!! as a treat!! #this has zero entertainment value #if this is what my emotional regulation is gonna look like then so be it #*crying and throwing up* i love art its my passion #this might b a sign i OFFICIALLY FR need medication but thats gonna b incredibly hard to achieve. groan. ill figure it out. hopefully soon?? #hate my countrys mental health system!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! ill figure it out!!!!!!! #shut up maiora #fandomNOT #is this liveblogging??? #maiora shitposts #once i figure out how to hack my own brain chemistry into doing what i want it to its is so over!!!! im gonna kick so much ass!!! #im gonna draw silly comics!! im gonna draw platonic affection in many different ways!! i wanna make shit people find interesting!! #i wanna make shit im gonna be proud of!!! i wanna make my corner of the world a lil less lonely!!!! earnest cringe lessgooooooooooooo!! #maybe ill even learn how to write coherent stories?????? that might be too high to aim at rn but its not impossible!!! #ill figure it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's gonna be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #ok ok ok what matters right now is i gotta calm down and lower my heart rate lmao #its gonna be okay #thanks for reading have a nice day!! #<3

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youtube video titled "TRY NOT TO SIMP CHALLENGE!!! (IMPOSSIBILE) (not clickbait)"

and it's just a 30 minute picture slideshow of Kaito Momota (a solid third of the pictures have him barefoot because his slippers kept falling off)

#/j #“simp” being used extremely loosely #i LIKE him hes SILLY and he loves space and his friends GOOD FOR HIM #characters that boost my oxytocin dot png #he's the type of guy that unironically asks “wheres MY hug? 🥺” but it's because his brain runs on See the best in people and Give affection #fte with k aede and kaito is immediately all for “teach me the thing you're passionate about!! space needs people like you!!” bro i cry/pos #he's PEAK quality time love language #also absolute peak character trope is “they're intellectually/academically savant and a MORON” #“k aede you're so right i was JUST about to say that!!” WHAT A LOSER!!! (affectionate) #you'd think id be comfortable drawing him by now and yet i keep being full of surprises (incompetence) #ooooh noooo guess the only solution is drawing him over and over what a shaaaame (not a shame) #shut up maiora

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migraine struggles

#if i weren't so weak i would be so powerful (factual fact that is true) #grug get the drill #my migraines and me <3 (im seething and shaking with rage) #WORST PART IS THAT IM SO UNRICHED RN ALL MY HOBBIES ARE VISUAL AND AUDITORY #somebody come read me a bedtime story from a different room with the door open but no lights on!!!! #actually no that sounds awful #bitching and moaning but ill be fine #bye have a nice day or night or whatever your hair looks amazing ok ciao #shut up maiora

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will i be able to finish the saiοuma week prompts by august or will this migraine be the end of me? stay tuned to find out!! /lh

#also full disclosure im not doing the birthday prompt its been months and im not even late enough for shuicheese's birth either #shut up maiora #im in excruciating pain #grug get the drill #a mimir immediately if the meds dont work i yell!!! #delete l8r

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a list of things i will die mad about

people casually being born physically stronger than me (how dare you)

there's more but im too busy being mad to remember

#/j #i saw my brother casually lifting a half-fridge and carrying it down multiple flights of stairs without breaking a sweat #he isn't even sporty he's just like that. how dare he. #(affectionate) #shut up maiora

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it's 8!!!!!!!! in the am!!!!!!!! how the FUCK have i gotten HEATSTROKE by being outside ten minutes/(i would say "hyperbolic" if i wasn't busy tryna not vomit. groan.)

omw to fight the sun!! do y'all need anything? ✨

#shut up maiora #maiora please shut up #/j because actually? i REFUSE to be sick right now. #im drinking water and there's a spider in it buddy where the gell did you spawn from

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[MAJORLY uncoherent anecdotal storytine:]

entertainment value: mild

cw: blood exams (not described in detail), vague mentions to struggles that aren't elaborated on, tmi personal rambling written by someone who is loopy from blood loss aka bad grammar/syntax/morphology/yeah also this got long whoops

im feeling mega loopy cuz blood exam (dundnt faint!! how outstanding of me. iamcurrently instanding. batumtssk!!i lie down now.)

but AT the blood exam a newer nurse stopped by and my usual nurse was like "PIVELLA meet [redacted <- (me. im redacted.)] this kid is a STAPLE in this department bla bla" and wow mom look im famius!! it only took me getting my blood displaced and stared at medically and faintinf a lot very often hshahahaah

the usual nurse is so NICE she's been doing my blood check traslocations since ive been like 15 i think maybe earlier?? idk idk i love her she's so nice and a kickass lady and she bullies all her coworkers and also me a lot!!! bully as in teasing she's nice yeah anyway yeah

me having to get my blood checked often is really inconvenient and kinda sucks!!! because i get koed and fuck if i can do anything for the next 24hs blegh but but BUT this lady has seen my grow up and seenbthe fuck up my life became and is seeing me pick up the peices abd whenever she sees me in the waiting room she shouts "its YOU" very dramatically and the staff has inside jokes about me and my dumv unoptimezed blood stats and thats REALLY NICE SOBS

like i dont wanna make a fable moral out of it like live love kaugh kindess uwu because realistacally, when i was fucked up previously (in the way that was bad compared to how i am fucked up now. funny joke. laugh.) i didn't gove two shits about people being nice to me because i was a massive hater and hated myself most (loser behavior!!!! the world hates you already love yourself out of SPITE!!!!!!!!!!) so people going out of their way to make a horrible situation slightly less horrible for me COMPLETELY went over my head "broom broom autopilot kill crush destroy ourselves!!!" (<- that's what my head looked like.ew there's no whimsy and silly in there, gross!! jk baby me gets the reatroactive love myself treatment bc noone els ecan do that for me!! what was i saying) and yeah i wasn't neurobiologically capable of giving two shits about anything, especially some random nurse going out of her way to crack jokes but idk i appreciated now!!! and she realizes i appreciate it now!!! and it's nothing big or grandiose i guess the world is still turning and nothing in the essential state of things changes bc i did a navelgazey testimony of WOW SOMETIMES THINGS CAN BE OKAY OCASSIONALLY HOLY SHIT?? but also!!! if i don't do it!!!!!!! who will!!???????

aesop would prolly write about foxes and grapes and terracotta pottery and crows and things being okay with time, but ME, a certified "just some guy", is gonna ramble about " it's gonna be okay" semantics because its!! been!! bullshit!! BUT THAT'S OKAY!!!!

shit got SO MUCH worse than what i could've imagined in my catastrophation!!!!!! id wasted my life preparing and planning for all the plans Ds and Gs and Js and Zs because my situation was FUCKED and i didn't have power to fix it, and too bad!!! SHIT HAPPENS AND IT SUCKS!!! time isn't gonna fix SHIT!!!!!! time is just a tracker of when!!! time does no good time does no harm!!!! what time did give my stupid fucking idiot idiot lovely self was time to change!!! not in just "omg change your perspective ✨" (which can be really really really important!! but you shouldn't take anyone's shit just because you see their perspective!!!! no you don't deserve to be treated like shit!!!!!! they don't deserve to get away with treating anyone like shit!!!!! what makes you so special that the world's evil needs to converge upon you?? you're just some guy!! they're just some guy!!! you be nice to you!!)

time is just there!! what does get okay with time is being!!! your enemy is no longer gonna cause you stress once you outlive them!!! you can be better than your yesterday self at any time!!! life goes on if you fuck up everything and you CAN do whatever you want with the peices!!! FAIL!!! FEAR!!! if we're scared we do it scared!!! it's not gonna be okay because its gonna be perfect, it's gonna be okay because it CAN be different!!

im still not """""fixed""""" , im still screwing things up and i still don't really understand what exactly is """""wrong""""" with me and that's okay for now, and hey!! i am capable of having a nice interaction with someone!!!! that's progress.

massive tangent lmao

local tumblr user gets some blood consensually stolen, has a positive interaction with someone, goes home and starts preaching at [unidentified recipient] jesus fucking christ maiora go to sleep this isn't the time for monologues

tl;dr: someone was nice to me just to be nice and im happy because i wouldn't have been able to appreciate it previously and it's nice to see people being nice for the sake of it

im nap now buh bye thanks for reading have a night or day!!!! be nice to you i can't do that for you!!! /lh

<3

#incoherent #absolutely incoherent #shut up maiora #shut the FUCK up maiora #affectionate #ramble #anecdote anthology #illbregret posting this but also itd be funny to have my rambles out there and people can read my woozy rambles at my funeral/pos #like if it stays in my brain noone can see it. if i get it out my brain it's a sign i existed in whatever capacity and idk that's fun #not that im dying anytime soon #what's death gonna do?? stop me???? pathetic. #/j #i really need to sleep

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What's your opinion on the other games (THH, SDR2, and UDG)? I don't remember seeing you post about them much or at all

indeed! i haven't posted anything about them! (except one (1) kyoko cameo)

i do like the other games!! i've only watched playthroughs of dr1 and 2 (and read a summary of udg. i haven't had the time to watch a playthrough yet "OTL).

THH was popular when i was in middle school (Kyoko Kirigiri and Sakura Ogami were very relevant to my tween am-i-gay?™ crisis) and around that time SDR2 was already out, i think? (yes it was i just googled it.) so i have been an extremely casual dr enjoyer until recently. when drv3 came out i genuinely had no idea and legitimately thought it was a very elaborate fangame some people i followed occasionally posted about (hi, nice to meet you! im Very Dumb!!)

i got SUPER sick last summer so i watched a bunch of lets plays and now im in hyperfixation hell!!

DRV3 is specifically the game my brain has been obsessed with because themes of real vs fake/fiction vs reality/meta-bullshit fall directly into my personal interests. Plus, out of spite (and the game being on sale at one point), i actually played it on my own in may, which has just amplified my current hyperfixation and now im here. on tumblr. actually engaging in fandom. wowza.

ive been wanting to get more invested in the other games and actually play them!! and i wanna play rain code spoiler free really badly!! but unfortunately it's not something i can get to at the moment _(:'3 」∠)_ no videogame space in my budget rn *sobs* oooo you wanna commission me sooo baaad/j

hopefully i can change that soon! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

here's some rapidfire opinions!!

makoto is so goddamn stupid i love that for him, he is genuinely so dumb. even though kyoko and togami are supposed to be on the smarter side, they are also occasionally morons (both of them. BOTH OF THEM went "poison? bet." and ingested it) therefore makoto comes off even DUMBER. (affectionate)

Aoi is wonderful and underrated i would die for her anytime.

Sakura? *starts crying hysterically* /pos

i am ENAMOURED with how the evolution of the MCs mechanics has been Makoto: I object! -> Hajime: I sustain! -> Kaede/Shuichi: I'm gonna commit PERJURY!

Hajime being a massive hater is incredibly funny to me good for him

kazuichi is a complete cringefail loser i love him

IBUKI????? IBUKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think about fuyuhiko and peko constantly. they spin in my brain and make me miserable. it's amazing.

also, no doy, but THE ARTSTYLE OF THESE GAMES. I GO BATSHIT STUPID. THE ART DIRECTION AND PSYCHOPOP ARE SO GOOD i eat i feast i go bonkers

and yeah. that's all for now, folks!

#i haven't watched the anime. getting my adhd ass to watch anime is really hard :') #ask maiora #shut up maiora