#skie’s rambles
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@skiejustskie @alice-devil69
Requested by Skie
Mia and Me
Mo X Reader
Butterflies
Request Fic from Tumblr
Fandom: Mia and Me
You had been living in a small settlement of the west side of Centopia for as long as you could remember. You had never gone to the central kingdom. So it came as a surprise when you received an invitation to the butterfly festival that was being hosted at the royal palace. All of Centopia had been invited, and you were giddy with excitement. You had woven flowers into your hair and pulled on your most expensive top and started making your way to the Palace of King Raynor and Queen Mayla. You loved flying. It made you feel so free. Moments like these were why you loved living in Centopia. You landed in front of the castle, taking in all of its beauty. You were so distracted by your thoughts, that you didn’t realize there was someone in front of you, and you ran right into him.
“Oh!”
Came the voice from the other.
“Oh my! I'm so sorry!”
You apolgized.
“Hey, it's totally okay. I'm used to getting run into. My friend cannot fly for the life of her.”
He replied.
Cutting himself off from his own tangent, he looked up and finally got a proper view of your face. You noticed him stare for just a moment longer than usual.
“Oh sorry,”he said, rubbing their back of his neck, before stretching his hand out to shake yours.
“Mo.”
He introduced.
“Oh, Y/N”
You said.
Mo sighed. You could practically feel the stress emanating off of him.
“You okay?”
You asked.
“Yeah, i'm good. It’s just, i'm so tired of these parties, but i'm required to attend.”
He said shrugging.
“Tired of them? They seem so exciting! This is my first one!”
You replied, in disbelief.
Mo cracked a smile at your excitement, before a look of adventure spread across his face. He took your hand and nodded towards the palace.
“I have an idea, come with me.”
You followed him through the crowds of people, stopping when you arrived at an extravagant dessert table. Mo reached for a miniature cake shaped like a butterfly and placed it in your palm.
“Here, if this is your first party, you have to try some of the royal desserts. Trust me, the royal chef knows what she’s doing.”
You smiled, there was something about Mo that felt familiar, but you couldn’t place it. He was so sweet and his excitement after he began showing you around was so endearing.
You had finished three mini cakes when he lit up with another idea. He pulled you through the back door and into the palace garden. In the yard, there were rows and rows of every type of flower you could imagine. Some were glittery, some were reflecting a rainbow color and some held magical abilities. He bent down and picked up one of the rainbow colored lilies and handed it to you.
“Milady,”
He joked with a smile.
You gently took the flower, turning to hide a rosy blush that had spread across your face.
You took a deep breath in, taking in the beauty of the palace garden.
“PRINCE MO!”
Came a voice from beyond the door.
Mo turned to you.
“Come on, it’s time for the ceremony to start.”
You dashed back into the palace and were met with Mo’s royal hand maid, who looked a bit frazzled.
“Mo! Where have you been? Your parents were looking for you.”
“Sorry,”
He replied sheepishly. A deep blush crept over his face and he glanced at you.
“I got distracted.”
He stepped closer to you, instantly relaxing once your shoulders touched.
“The maid pulled the prince away.
“No time for that now. Come along.”
She pulled him up to the throne display where his parents were waiting.
“Ah Mo, dear. We were afraid you had gotten lost or something.”
Queen Mayla half joked to her son.
“Come and sit down, it’s time for the butterfly ceremony.”
King Raynor said, gesturing to the petite throne designated for the elf prince.
Mo sat down next to his father. His energy seeming to diminish, now that you weren’t with him.
The king and queen began addressing the guests and rambling on about the balance of nature, and welcoming spring. Mo rested his head in his palm and yawned. Just as he was about to doze off from boredom, the queen tapped on his shoulder.
“You ready, Mo?”
She asked, holding out a rope that was secured to a net.
Mo glanced at the net and realized there were hundreds of butterflies restrained beneath.
“Yeah one second, mother.”
Mo dashed off into the people-dense room to find you again.
“Y/N! Y/N! Where’d you run off too? Come here I want to show you something!”
He spotted you talking to a group of serpents. Likely the same race as Polytheus.
“Y/N!”
He shouted once more, stepping closer.
“Oh, excuse me guys.”
You said, politely excusing yourself from the conversation.
“Oh no bother, go ahead.”
The female serpent snickered when she saw the scarlet blush on Mo’s cheeks when you acknowledged him.
Mo took your hand and nodded politely to the serpents before pulling you up to the throne stand where the king and queen were still waiting impatiently.
Mo picked the rope back up and handed part of it to you.
“What are we-?”
You asked before he winked, cutting you off.
“You’ll see.”
On the count of three, you all lifted the rope up, raising the net and releasing the butterflies around the room. It was a truly magical sight.
“Wow!”
You exclaimed, twirling with delight, while the butterflies weaved between your outstretched arms.
“This is beautiful!”
“Yes they are. They remind me of you.”
The prince replied, with an uncharacteristic level of charisma.
Now it was your turn to blush.
The butterflies still danced around the room, golden dust shimmering off of their wings.
“Come on Y/N, the party isn’t over yet.”
And with that, the prince takes your hand again , interlacing fingers this time and pulls you back into the festivities.
(Hope Y’all enjoyed! I had fun writing this!)
#mia and me#Mia and me X reader#prince mo#prince mo X reader#miaandme#Chrissy writes#ask chrissy#let me know if there are any mistakes#constructive critism welcome
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uh oh Rasa game dev ramble:
mmmmm came to the realization that i need to change the renderer for the web build. Since it's text, I (and Skie!) devised a rendering method that used plain HTML and updating elements in the DOM with text. Unfortunately, due to the frequency of updates, the DOM gets upset pretty quickly. On desktop its ...passable. On mobile its definitely garbo.
That said too, the game itself is pretty inefficient because it's running in my language in a VM in Javascript which is. Also in a VM... So i need all the CPU i can get per update. If i could remove DOM updates from the CPU load, that would be major.
A webgl based renderer should do the trick. Everything is monospace and the characterset is small, so i think im going to do a texture atlas and build one mesh per text row. Each space in a line mesh will have its vertices skipped. The atlas will grow as never-before-seen characters are requested to be drawn. So it should only really take up a bit of cpu when adding a new character to the atlas since all the texture coordinates would need to be redone for all lines. I dont need full 60 frames and would only request an animation frame when the text rows change, so.....
Should work out! Just gotta write it..... web dev my beloathed
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<3 Read My Poetry Or Die <3
~~~~
The rain is falling down
Autumn has turned to gray
Is this how love feels? Observing through a different perspective?
The beauty only some see as others see a dreary day
A gorgeous day out of gray skies and decaying leaves
Green to yellow to orange and red to brown and dead
Fall intwines itself into the olfactory senses as familiar as greeting an old friend
~~~~
I can see clearly now
The grey of skie through wilted green leaf
With no warmth to radiate from the concrete, it's cold outside.
The wind sends only chills when last season it gave relief
The sky no longer brings perspiration and chaffing but goosebumps and promises of bare trees
Soon the snow will fall leaving warmth a memory in cold bones as grandfather christmas sits on his throne.
~~~~~
After Marimba
Like a moth drawn to a flame say my name summon me
Let the fire spread through you into you (out of me) (it came from me)
Feel my whisper against your neck like a breath of spring let the chills run down your spine take me away say your mine
Like a rabbit running down the hole, youre my home
An eternity
Feel the rush as our lips twist like the thread of fate
I can feel you absorb my sin make it yours i am free
As your body starts to decompose they wont know
That its me
Now ill find another muse just to use
Its makes me free
~~~~~
What is solemn
Is it deep
Shallow
Does it fill the hollow
Does it come in waves or is it a blanket
Suffocation
No air
Is this fair
That you were taken and we're still here
The fresh disturbed ground seeping underfoot
Mascara clumps from weeping
A hole in the heart of those you left, we wish you the best in the next life as the pain of your absence grows rife.
Gray washes into my veins, muscles, bone.
A slate of slate slammed into the ground, molded with my words of sorrow
A peaceful serenity waits, sleepless night of grief taking over routine
The serenity lurks, we think it waits. Graceful in a grove, waiting to embrace you into white.
Serenity is a nice name for earths most brutal hunter, nothing can run from Serenity.
Inside of flesh, flush with every pore, the sun poured from you like your heart was the source
~~~~~~~~
Let Me Be the Rocky Shore your Ship Breaks On
Feel my waves crash around you, consuming sound and sanity
Feel my salt in your wounds
My wind taking your screams no one hears , carrying them endlessly among my tumultuous tides
Lose yourself in my blues and greens like starry eyed star-crossed lovers staring in each others eyes on a starry night
Waves gorge themselves on you, are the stars blinking you wonder
My love fills your lungs full but you only choke on my waters
The water gets darker the deeper you go, my embrace is the pressure compressing your ribcage into your entrails
My love fills you as you sink.
I just wanted to show you how dearly I loved you.
~~~~~~~~~
I want someone that wants to kiss me because they wonder if my lips taste like cherries because they're so soft and pink
I want someone that misses the feeling of my smaller fingers between theirs when we held hands
I want someone that would tell me they thought of me in passing at work
I wanted to listen to you to you ramble about your favorite things, when the dog bites, when the bee stings
Hold my hand and discreetly fall in love with the idea of me and feel cold when I leave you.
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SO
my account @gameboi-glitchedskies got terminated out of the blue and I’m trying to figure out why. I have no access to all of the other blogs I run either. I’m gonna tag some of my mutuals.
@officialinvisibleanon @graceful-not @listerineultraclean @sobredunia
also @staff and @support please help
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Thoughts of HW:AOC, Plot
Okay, so I’ve had a quick look through the tags to see what people’s opinions were on the games plot, because even though the game doesn’t come up until Friday, people with hacked switches were able to get a hold of the game early and leak it. Whatever your view on copyrights from a large company like Nintendo is, it got leaked, I watched it, lets move on.
A couple of things to be aware of before we move onto the whole post is that no, I do not have a hacked switch. I have preordered the game, but I will not be playing it until it is released. However, I was able to watch all the cutscenes before Nintendo came and took them down for copyright issues. Please keep in mind that what I say is my own opinion on the story after one watch through, so I might come by and edit it after I’ve played the game, to include my views on the actual gameplay.
And of course, this post will contain major spoilers for Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity, so tread lightly.
This will be part one of a small series, otherwise this post would be incredibly long, so this is part one of ???
So, of course, like everyone expected, the games plot follows the event that lead up to the Great Calamity. At first, I found the order of events to be slightly strange; the idea that Link is Zelda’s knight before its revealed that he is the hero weirded me out somewhat and it was truly the first sign that they were going to deviate from what they had said in botw, where Link had had the Master Sword since he was 12, and he should have had it when they fight the lynal in Zora’s Domain. These inconsistencies are littered throughout, of course. In botw, Revali mentions having wished to have had at least one fight with him before he had died, and in the cutscenes shown they nearly killed each other during their first meeting (something that I am actually pretty excited to play). Then there’s the whole thing with the yiga in the desert (completely disrupting what happened in the memories)
Time travel.
So. The elephant in the room. I thought that I would get this bit over and done with as it’s the bit that everyone seems the most hung up about. Of course, that does make sense, for never has anyone done time travel well in media. There’s always too many ‘what if’s involved with this trope, and it is a trope that has been done to death, especially in the Legend of Zelda series. I now yearn for a game that doesn’t involve time travel in any way, for not only is it repetitive from a gameplay standpoint and a storytelling standpoint, but Nintendo is always going on about the timeline of the Zelda Universe, only to screw it into a ball and throw it away.
As much as I love theory videos and fanfics explaining away why the timeline is the way it, is it too much to ask for at least a couple games that go in a linear fashion so that I don’t have to think of the timeline when coming up with a new fic idea?
There are really two parts of timetravel. The first part, where Terrako (eggy boi) comes back from the ‘bad’ future that leads on to botw. He comes baring information on how the Calamity comes about, the date, the location, the destruction that comes with it. The other characters already know that this was going to happen because of Astor (I’m pretty sure he’s the fortune teller right?), but they then use this knowledge to further prepare themselves. This is the time travel that people kind of expected, especially since the demo, and we were prepared for that.
The timetravel we did not expect however, was when Sidon, Riju, Yunobo and Teba come from the future/alternative timeline and help with the final battle. Don’t get me wrong, I was very confused to see them turn up as much as everyone else was, but does it give some of the best character moments in the game? Absolutely. All of them had bonding moments between each other, but my favourite had to be Sidon and Mipha. Not only did it help that Sidon was the most developed character in botw out of all of them, but adding on with the character interaction at the beginning with the lynal, you can tell that Sidon was finally able to come to terms with his sister’s death in his reality, and Mipha was able to see a glimpse of the zora that Sidon would come to be. I loved every moment that these characters were on the screen, and I cannot wait to play them.
At the end of the day, the time travel does become a closed loop situation (and if you want me to go into detail about that then lmk), and thus, this game, considered canon or not, will not affect botw, nor botw2. Will it create another timeline? I hope not, but that’s up to Nintendo to figure out.
Regardless of the timetravel, I do have to say that the story itself is brilliant. There isn’t a loose thread or a self-contained. Purah talks about teleportation and showing that multiple people teleportation is possible, which then comes to help them in the final act. The scene with Zelda and Rhomn where he lectures her about artefacts comes to save his life later down the line as it turns out to be a shield. Any scene with the Yiga in made me laugh, and the scene at the end, where Calamity Ganon is formed? That is the beast that I wish I fought in botw.
The pacing could be better but these cutscenes aren't really supposed to be viewed back to back like that so they can have that one off. The small background interactions? those scenes will keep me fed for days. The small gags that reference the game, like link being able to eat rocks and using a cucco to jump from the tower? I couldn't stop fucking laughing. I’m not a big fan of zelda/link but those scenes weren't too in my face, which hits the perfect balance for shippers and nonshippers, but I’ll talk more about the characters in the next post.
At the end of the day, if this story had been a fanfiction, people would have lost their minds over it. But if you still don’t like the story, I ask you this. Don’t view it as Link’s story. View it as Zelda’s. even though the name of the game is Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity, it is more of a ‘Legend of Zelda’ than the other games. We follow her right until the very end where she unlocks her power and is able to save Hyrule. This is a story exploring the idea that, if the circumstances had been different, if she had just a little more information to give her the final push, she would have been able to unlock her sealing powers and save everyone like she wanted.
That’s it for now, lmk what you guys think of the plot.
#age of calamity#age of calamity spoilers#hyrule warriors age of calamity#hyrule warriors#spoilers#there is more coming#i promise#skie rambles#not writing
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Lights on
#i had to add the watermark after i had already saved it#so sorry if it's low quality :(#skie sadow#my ocs#my art lookie#ajin: demi human#ajin oc#ajin fanart#ajin ibm#okay to rb#(me- quieter but with feeling: VERY okay to rb)#i spent about 8 hours on this#tag rambling
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This is kinda a heads up / update for da blog -
I am really going to start reblogging all art of PJ and other characters more to here. I know I’ve been mostly just posting my own art and rambles on here... and a part of me was just kinda... nervous of breaking that streak? That expectation?
Well - that self expectation I had? Shattering it!
I’ll still be reblogging stuff to my reblog blog - skie-reblogs. But I want to showcase more artwork and amazing things to here as well!
So... expect more reblogs here!!! :D
And just... more activity in general!
If you want to skip the reblogs I put here, #7reblogs is my go-to tag I put on all things I reblog.
....OK I have typed reblog too many times!
In other news... I’m kinda shocked at the follower number here... it’s getting super close to a huge milestone. So thank you so much for following this blog!
#7rambles#guys like i legit am shocked it's less than 500 away from 10K?!?!?#but yeah it's a half way new year resolution for me to just... show more amazing stuff#cause you never know when it will vanish or if one might forget...#I have a lot of drafts sitting and I'll have to comb through them and the tabs of other art up...#and just... do a queue for this XD#still thank you for sticking around! hope y'all have a great day!
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The screenshots
Yu’s Entity: Amusing as your narrative was, sweetling, it's quite inconsiderate to blame myself for your daydreams. You are interfering in part of my narrative I had intended to remain under my own control. You know I cannot touch your universe through more than letters, anyhow. You are being quite ridiculous.
Rai’s Entity: ############
Y-E: I am not a Ma'am, sweetling. And I was speaking to Rai, not... whoever you claim to be.
(Incomprehensible)
R-E: ##############################
Y-E: "My stunt"? Don't be ridiculous, sweet thing. I have no control over lilies. The ones in my dimension only exist because they are a part of my plane of reality.
Rai: Who the hell? And now the entity is in my phone now too, how fucking great. You two already traumatized me with that lily, leave me alone goddamit… And who the hell was texting with my number?!
Look, whatever you are aiming to do it won’t fucking work. Skie may have locked me in my own room without access to pen or paper but that won’t stop me bitch.
Y-E: It seems you have your own entity, sweetling. And would you stop with this idiotic charade? I. Have no control. Over lilies. Even sending that faux bill was quite a stretch for me. All I can do to your universe is communicate! If you could STOP sending falsehoods to "Yuvon", I would be much obliged! You are interfering more than anticipated.
R: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT FALSEHOODS, WHAT AM I DOING?! I’M GLAD I’M BEING SUCH A PEST TO YOU, SO TELL ME SO THAT I CAN CONTINUE THAT TENFOLD
Y-E: If I had eyes, "Rai", I would be rolling them. I have no idea what you are attempting to accomplish by tricking Yuvon into blaming me for something I obviously do not have the ability to do, but cease. You are beginning to irritate me.
(Incomprehensible)
R: Oh now I’m just confused. Fine, you’re not responsible for the lilies, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’ve made my life, five times worse.
Y-E: Your immersion is not my fault, sweetling, though it is quite appreciated, I will admit.
...Hold a moment.
What type of lily was this?
R: White Lily, it’s roots almost crushed my bones. Why you ask?
Y-E: The crayon you sent "Yuvon". What color was it? What was the color called? Do not cross-reference her letter.
R: Red, just red. I mean, there isn’t really any other shade of red in a crayola box anyways.
I mean, not the seven color one anyways, the big boxes with the pretty colors are expensive as hell.
Y-E: Someone has seen fit to usurp my narrative.
I must reluctantly thank you for being marginally more helpful than Liska.
R: Goddamn, I’m so wounded by your sarcasm, my heart is bleeding in earnest.
Also, don’t diss Liska like that, she already is going through too much.
Y-E: Do not jest. This entity intends to alienate my audience, and it intends to use force. That includes you, if you are not aware.
R: I mean, I caught onto that. What do ya want me to do, say “I’ll be careful”? Leave Yu alone? If you’re going to ask me that I’ll have to not politely say hell no.
Y-E: Of course I do not wish for you to "leave Yuvon alone." I need an active audience.
In any case.
I need to discover what this entity's domain and title are, and why it targets you and yours. Farewell for now, sweetling.
R: Bye bye, darling 😒✌️
(This exchange is dated later than the previous.)
R: Undeath Of Innocence huh…?
I don’t expect you to answer, but since I’m bored in my room, I have to ask, is that your title, other deity thingy that seeks to make innocence? I don’t think so, it shouldn’t be that simple.
Y-E: That particular entity seems to have... departed for now, sweetling. I suspect, however, that was just an idiotic nickname it came up with for itself. However, given all their inane rambling about innocence, it may be part of their title.
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𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒
SWEARING | FINGERNAIL CHEWING | SLOUCHING | SLURRING | DRINKING | SMOKING | DRUGS | IMPULSE DECISIONS | OBSESSIVE PHONE CHECKING | BAD TIME MANAGEMENT | SLANG | POOR GRAMMAR | OVERWORKING | SLACKING OFF | OVER SLEEPING | UNDER SLEEPING | SKIN PICKING | POOR EYE CONTACT | LYING | RAMBLING | SKIPPING BREAKFAST | JUNK FOOD | SELF CRITICISM | PROCRASTINATING | DAY DREAMING | FORGETFUL | ENVIOUS | JEALOUS | GOSSIPER | DRAMA LLAMA | SECRET TELLER | SKIPPING CLASS | SPITTING | LIP LICKING | LIP CHEWING | DRINKING FROM THE CARTON | YELLING | TOO MUCH INTERNET | POOR HYGIENE | IMPATIENT | HOT HEADED | BIASED | COMPLAINING | SCAB PICKING | CHEEK BITING | TEETH GNASHING | SHOPLIFTING | SCAMMING | SPEEDING | HAIR PULLING | LARGE EGO | EAVESDROPPING | EXAGGERATING | FIDGETING | FREE LOADING | LITTERING | ONE-UPPING | WHINING | BORROWING WITHOUT RETURNING | UNNECESSARY AGGRESSION | TALKING DURING MOVIES | PLAGIARISM | COPYING | GLARING | SPACING OUT | IGNORING | OVER CRITICAL | MESSY | HATEFUL | OVERLY PRIDEFUL
Tagged by: @brightheartvalentine (thank you!)
Tagging (if you're interested): @mamavalcalaw , @cheryl1967 , @skie-the-hybrid , and anyone else who wants to do it!
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it makes me sad that bleu is actually, truly a good person but has never learned how to express himself in a healthy way..so he had to learn that himself, and realized that the world didn't revolve around him and became way more mellow afterwards, but still wasn't accepted by anyone :/
#anyone#mostly referring to skie#not that skie should necessarily forgive him. but#skie will go out of his way to rub his dislike for bleu in bleu's face#and make him feel guilty and jealous#like. skie u dont have to be a dick? but i get it?#not to mention literally no one in his canon universe has loved bleu EXCEPT for skie#and now that bleu doesnt have that hes like? well what am i?#oc ramblings#turnish.txt
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Does anyone else ever feel like sometimes your life is perfect? That everything is going the way you want it to? And then other times that things are fine? Not perfect but not awful? And then others like there's never been anything good to happen in your life and everything is working against you? Because right now I'm in one of the slumps where I feel like everything that happens, happened, and will happen just won't go the way I want it to, and that everything I've done up to this point doesn't matter. There was a time I didn't think like this. That life just played itself out the way it was supposed to. But now there are time where I feel that nothing goes right. For instance: my boss has me doing a job I hate along side the job I actually applied for and no matter how many times I tell him to take me off the particular job, and no matter how often I complain, I get pushed aside and told that he'll "deal" with it soon. Then there's my grandmother. She died a month or two before I graduated high school. She seemed perfectly healthy, or at least as healthy as she's always been. But she didn't seem anywhere near close to dying. Then one day her light just went out while I was on a senior trip and I never got to say goodbye or how much she meant to me, and now she'll never see me get married to a guy that I love one day, or see my future kids. Or that I feel that there are not any guys in my town that would want to date me or do anything with me because I'm not attractive enough or fun enough to date, even though I know that that's improbable and that there are probably guys that would. Just everything that is going on and everything that's happened to me these past two or three years has felt like a huge downward spiral. I don't have depression. Or at least I don't think I do. But I envision myself as the strong only son in my family. Yes my sister is strong but she's always been very open with how she's felt. I on the other hand haven't been open with my emotions for years and have bottled up everything to make myself seem strong and unaffected by anything and I feel that it's wearing me down. Not to the point where I'd do something harmful to myself, but to the point where I don't know what to feel or how to act with certain situations. I'm not good with emotions. I'm not good with people. I'm not good with social settings. I'm not good at a lot of stuff. I am good at keeping what I feel secret. I am good at being the strong son. I am good at being the loyal friend that's do anything to help. I am good at being the supportive listener that offers advice, even if half the time I've never had experience with what we are talking about and probably shouldn't offer advice. And while I know that I have good friends that would talk to me and listen and try and help me, I feel like I'd just be a burden and that I'd be interfering with their lives. And yeah there have been bright spots in the past few years that I've really enjoyed. I've met one of my best friends in the second semester senior year when she moved to my town. I joined FCCLA which I never thought I'd do my senior year and had tons of fun going to the conventions and state. I had fun as the captain of my schools yell team all four years of high school and going to football games. I had fun helping with my class's senior prank. I had fun on my senior trip to our state capital. I've enjoyed watching Once Upon A Time because it's all about hope, something everyone needs. I've enjoyed finding new shows like The Real O'Neals and new animes like Yuri!!! On Ice. There are countless good and happy and bright times that I can think of. And yet I sill can't shake the feeling that everything is going wrong. I just don't know what to do. I've sat here typing this and crying through half of it because I don't talk openly like this to anyone and haven't said some of this stuff out loud to myself or written it down before. I don't feel like I've had a normal life. There was a time where I wasn't sure if I was normal or not because of me being bi and liking boys. My family never talked about that kinda stuff so I thought I was broken. Then with the help of the internet I learned that no, I was normal. That there was nothing wrong with me. That just because I liked boys as well as girls didn't mean I was broken. Then a few years later my older sister broke down and came out to us that she was bi and was terrified of how we would react and how her friends from high school would react, which made me feel better. So I started slowly coming out. Started with a few friends at school that I'd know for a few years and that I trusted and they welcomed me with open arms. Then I accidentally came out to my mom, younger sister, and cousin (who wasn't the really my cousin) in the car when they poked fun at me saying how they knew I was gay and had known for years. I broke and yelled at them that no I wasn't gay I was "fucking bisexual and that I'd like you to stop it with the gay stuff". And after that the last person I came out to was my older sister. And that was just because she found my Twitter by chance and read my bio. I was terrified of what she'd think because she was like my best friend. And while she accepted me, she still thinks I'm just covering up being gay with saying I'm bi and won't drop it. But the older I get and the longer it's been since coming out, the more I feel attracted to boys and nothing but boys. Which honestly terrifies me because even though I know it's normal and okay to be gay, I've denied it for so long and I just know that my sister will have a whole thing about her being right for all these years. And since I'm the only son I'm the only one that can carry on the family name. And even though I know it's okay and normal to be gay, I still feel like if I am then I'm broken and not the way I should be which makes me hate myself for thinking that way because I know it's not true. I just don't know what to do. And I'm extremely sorry to whoever reads all this, if anyone does. I just needed to get it all out of my system before I had a break down over it. There are some things I've talked to @topaztwink about (albeit it was as an anon), and something that I've talked to @lights-of-the-skie about that I didn't mention. And it helped some just to get it off my chest and feel appreciated and understood. So if you've read all of this I'm sorry you had to read through my depressed ramblings and I love you for taking the time to read through them.
#ramble#rant#sorry I'm such a awful person#I'm much nicer when I'm not feeling down and crying#thanks#topaztwink#and#lights-of-the-skie#for talking with me about some stuff#whether you knew it was me or not#you don't know how much it means to me#alright I'm finished#for now
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Aesthetics Tag Game
Rules: Bold all the aesthetics that you relate to.
Side A - The city
glittering lights, yawning skyscrapers, broken glass shards, street gangs, hip hop music, late night strolls, blinking stars, sleek cars, flickering neon signs, glittery earrings, small tattoos, empty subways, dark eyeshadow, snapping cameras, cozy apartments, fried churros, silver necklaces, dyed hair, ripped jeans, bright lipstick, dazzling smiles
Side B - The book nerd
large glasses, steaming hot chocolate, thick books, lofi music, hot pastries, soft smiles, large sweaters, quiet libraries, small flowers, melting candles, sweetened coffee, messy hair buns, soft pillows, fairy lights, vanilla scents
Side C - The stereotypical girl
soft pinks, mini skirts, crop tops, romantic fantasies, love songs, strawberry milkshakes, lipgloss, high ponytails, candy hearts, nail polish, Starbucks coffee, clear skies, hoop earrings, excited ramblings, stuttering heartbeats, rose bouquets, soft blushes
Side D - The stereotypical boy
arcade games, graphic t-shirts, baseball caps, chocolate milkshakes, messy rooms, acoustic guitars, chocolate chip cookies, multi-coloured bruises, rap music, nightly escapades, stolen glances, pencil-drumming, chocolate milk boxes, low hums
Side E - The nature hippie
mini plants, cloud-watching, star gazing, damp forests, sandy beaches, ocean waves, wildflowers, hiking, iced lemon tea, gardening, hippie music, buttered toast, birds chirping, multi-coloured leaves, evening sunlight, fruit cups, sundresses
Side F - The rebel
cherry lollipops, devil hand signs, grape flavoured bubble gum, rock music, killer boots, dark make-up, horror movies, denim jackets, switchblades, handguns, stargazing on rooftops, glowing cigarettes, large headphones, skull rings, converse shoes, graffiti murals, glowing moonlight, rose thorns, fishnet stockings
Side G - The winter
busy cafes, oversized hoodies, drizzling rain, small snowflakes, marshmallows in hot chocolate, loose hair, sad music, reading a book, blanket forts, frozen lakes, crackling fireplaces, old movies
Side H - The summer
tank tops, lemonade, sunny days, dripping popsicles, short haircuts, tinted sunglasses, cotton candy, amusement parks, travelling, blasting music on the car radio, wagging dog tails, large sunflowers, snow cones
Side I - The autumn
pumpkin lattes, warm bakeries, warm colours, hair braids, soft sweaters, colourful leaves, purring cats, dark chocolate bars, romance movies, soft music, zentangling, vintage cameras
Side J - The spring
floral scents, peach tea, mint shampoo, tinkling laughter, video cassettes, colourful paintings, excited smiles, lollipop sticks, blooming flowers, melting snow, action movies, singing in the shower
Tagging: @spottedstars-brokenhearts @discodeakygotmorerhythm @agentcarpenter
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<3 Read My Poetry Or Die <3
The rain is falling down
Autumn has turned to gray
Is this how love feels? Observing through a different perspective?
The beauty only some see as others see a dreary day
A gorgeous day out of gray skies and decaying leaves
Green to yellow to orange and red to brown and dead
Fall intwines itself into the olfactory senses as familiar as greeting an old friend
~~~~
I can see clearly now
The grey of skie through wilted green leaf
With no warmth to radiate from the concrete, it's cold outside.
The wind sends only chills when last season it gave relief
The sky no longer brings perspiration and chaffing but goosebumps and promises of bare trees
Soon the snow will fall leaving warmth a memory in cold bones as grandfather christmas sits on his throne.
~~~~~
After Marimba
Like a moth drawn to a flame say my name summon me
Let the fire spread through you into you (out of me) (it came from me)
Feel my whisper against your neck like a breath of spring let the chills run down your spine take me away say your mine
Like a rabbit running down the hole, youre my home
An eternity
Feel the rush as our lips twist like the thread of fate
I can feel you absorb my sin make it yours i am free
As your body starts to decompose they wont know
That its me
Now ill find another muse just to use
Its makes me free
~~~~~
What is solemn
Is it deep
Shallow
Does it fill the hollow
Does it come in waves or is it a blanket
Suffocation
No air
Is this fair
That you were taken and we're still here
The fresh disturbed ground seeping underfoot
Mascara clumps from weeping
A hole in the heart of those you left, we wish you the best in the next life as the pain of your absence grows rife.
Gray washes into my veins, muscles, bone.
A slate of slate slammed into the ground, molded with my words of sorrow
A peaceful serenity waits, sleepless night of grief taking over routine
The serenity lurks, we think it waits. Graceful in a grove, waiting to embrace you into white.
Serenity is a nice name for earths most brutal hunter, nothing can run from Serenity.
Inside of flesh, flush with every pore, the sun poured from you like your heart was the source
~~~~~~~~
Let Me Be the Rocky Shore your Ship Breaks On
Feel my waves crash around you, consuming sound and sanity
Feel my salt in your wounds
My wind taking your screams no one hears , carrying them endlessly among my tumultuous tides
Lose yourself in my blues and greens like starry eyed star-crossed lovers staring in each others eyes on a starry night
Waves gorge themselves on you, are the stars blinking you wonder
My love fills your lungs full but you only choke on my waters
The water gets darker the deeper you go, my embrace is the pressure compressing your ribcage into your entrails
My love fills you as you sink.
I just wanted to show you how dearly I loved you.
~~~~~~~~~
I want someone that wants to kiss me because they wonder if my lips taste like cherries because they're so soft and pink
I want someone that misses the feeling of my smaller fingers between theirs when we held hands
I want someone that would tell me they thought of me in passing at work
I wanted to listen to you to you ramble about your favorite things, when the dog bites, when the bee stings
Hold my hand and discreetly fall in love with the idea of me and feel cold when I leave you.
~~~~~~~~
:: I Can't Go Back ::
I walk on a broken road
Its red and made of brick
Any scrape
Every nick, you had a mean word and a gentle bandaid
Bandages dont stick well after tears fall
Wicked words laced
Tell her she's nothing
Take her apart
Staring at her bare complexity you refuse to see
Refusing reusing
Trying to seduce me
Spells and chants hold no affect
The feelings churn, hearts burn
Havoc is wrought
Its been 622 days
The overcast is gone and the sun is out
Yet you linger like a distant winter breeze; a chill runs down my spine
Nightmares of your face on my body
No escape
Took everything and more
As if my essence was your oxygen
Crowding crowding crowding
No room to breathe with you breathing down my neck
Machines pump air into my lungs
Was this all worth it for you in the end?
Now i see its been worth it for me, thanks to your misguided misjudgment of who i am, i now have everything and more
Mark my words i know you'll take the life from me if i find myself on the broken brick road
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