#so forgive me if I'm upset

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i will always love bojack horseman for having diane nguyen visibly gain weight after taking antidepressants and having her take them anyway and be better for it

#tw weight gain #seriously she's the only thing making me feel ok abt the weight gain right now #except she didn't have to buy a whole new wardrobe DX #i feel like a bad person for being upset that i'm gaining weight on these new meds. it shouldn't matter! but i guess it's always weird when #your body changes drastically in a short amount of time #so i'm trying to forgive myself

[transmechanicus]

I've had the perspective in my prev relationships that my partner is so cool and I'm on some level unworthy of them but at this particular moment my neural chemistry has re-aligned and I've decided actually I'm too good for them and my sheer magnificence was too much for them to take.

#my stuff #like ive beat myself up so much for Literally Nothing both times my partners have left even though they've said i'm amazing #i spend days upset and being like Damn I Failed Them even though they're literally dropping me for other ppl #that in and of itself is not healthy #but in an effort to correct this I've decided im hot shit actually #and they are fundamentally complete dumbasses to fumble me #dropping the absolute unbreakable loyalty and affection I bring to the table to chase someone else is an L for them #and if they wanna walk it back they're gonna have to beg for my forgiveness.

[liesmyth]

There's a specific kind of feeling when someone you parted ways with badly is going through something upsetting, and you can't do anything except watch from a distance and feel useless.

It's like: my former friend is suffering and I should be there to offer support, but would that make it worse? would they appreciate it? should I go through a third party, or send an anon ask? I'm sorry you feel this way and I can't do shit to help, and I remember the good moments more than I could care about the bad, but I don't want to make your pain about me.

It's like grieving a lost relationship all over again

#i do feel like maybe this is more of a me thing than a universal thing #because the more i age the more i realise i'm truly a forgive and foget kinda bitch with relatively little pride #and PERSONALLY i'd be like. glad you're thinking about me! #but I also never want to upset ppl so #massive shrug

[voicedbychrispratt]

#IT COULDVE BEEN REAL #IT COULDVE #VALVE FUCKING ROBBED US #ILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR IT #how i wish there was a tf2 show #tf2 show is real to me :( #oh well. off to rewatch expiration date #tf2 #team fortress two #team fortress 2 #shitpost #tf2 shitpost #i'm so upset everytime i think about it #fuck you valve #adult swim should give them another chance #we deserved it tbh #we have nearly all the voice actors #i'm really only concerned about the voices of scout solly and engi #rest in peace rick may #GUYS I HAVE TO STOP PRETENDING THIS THING IS GONNA HAPPEN

[soldier-poet-king]

U know when ur brain is Like That and whatever it is you have to eat is suddenly Illegal???

#the duality of fran #ughhhhh i am upset with myself #i have issues with leftovers. just generally #so mostly i only ever cool things i can tolerate as leftover #i have the last batch of that pumpkin soup #that i do NOT want to eat and its all gross and it's not like. rotten #but trying to force myself to eat it sounds like hell rn #but also guilt complex abt food yknow???? #im not doing anyonr any favours by just skipping lunch bc my brain hates the thought of it rn #i think. I'm just gonna have to toss it. eaf a granola bar (i always carry some for this reason) #and then. try to forgive myself. eat a proper dinner #i think i hate depression food obessions more than i hate the actual depression sometimes #ughhh and i have to meal plan #i go insane if i eat the same thing always but i also get so nervous trying new foods #bc my mother lives in my brain and yells at me anytime anything turns out bad or where i cant force myself to eat it #i only ever try things that im 90% sure I'll like #And still. #unfortunately. i am realizing my mother left me with major food anxieties #just not in the usual ED way. i got the guilt complex food waste if i don't clear my plate im sinning way #if leftovers go bad? or produce molds before i can use it? im satan incarnate #BUT ONLY ME. EVERYONE ELSE IS FINE. THIS STANDARD ONLY APPLIES TO ME

[wolves-in-the-world]

At least for the aspec part of the leverage fandom, I’m guessing it’s the heavy themes of found family between the entire crew and the queer platonic vibes of the OT3

yeah. yeah. oh man. like we have a story that prioritises relationships that aren't shown to us as romantic just as highly as the relationships that are, and we have parker who regardless of how you interpret her can be read as a-spec and loved and supported by the people around her and that's great, and we have a happy ending that says "actually, our tough guy (who doesn't seem to settle down with anyone romantically, though we see him date) would be most fulfilled with hardison and with parker, with no explicit romance, but with a lifelong promise of mutual devotion."

(it's a very important thing to me that the story works like that, with parker+eliot+hardison being totally platonic. I love other readings. I do. but what we were given, viewed through the least shippy goggles available, works. and it packs a hell of a punch.)

and listen, I've said it before but "my nana used to say that what's normal is whatever works for you" is such a beautiful sentiment to be applied to SO many things (gender, neurodiversity, queerness, polyamory, queerplatonic relationships, choosing a life of crime instead of a 'proper' career, etc), and it is lovely.

which is to say… yeah. agreed. it's great. and it does make sense. :D

#thank you and also apologies anon this is a topic I'm kind of always ready to go on #you were right and you should say it etc <3 #don't mind me #orig #ot3 thoughts #nana #folks forgive me for not acknowledging L:R much #the happy platonic ending thing is beautiful and right to me up until I try to square that away so I kinda don't #my ONLY criticism of the nana quote is like… I don't think it has to be normal to be good and okay. #but the quote is very… ''matriarch of a large family and deeply supportive.'' #it's ''I got the weird kids and dedicated myself to making sure they knew they were right just as they are'' #it's nana welcoming parker and eliot with open arms no matter how they're there. #it's nana raising breanna to be the person who could make the speech she did; heartfelt and open. #and I feel like maybe it's something she said to alec or others when they were upset about Not Being Normal #which seems like a v kind way to address it for an upset child. #''their definition of normal is the wrong one; the right one will always include what works for *you*. okay?'' #just... thank you nana hardison excuse me I need a sec <3 #also haha whoops fun way to find out I'd been slightly misquoting it #and also that the top search engine result for the misquote is. uh. my fic. #I have said enough in the tags now someone drag me out with a shepherd's crook please and thanks <3

[kelin-is-writing]

*inhales deeply* fuck endeavor.

#fuck endeavor #hope this motherfucker doesn't survive #he doesn't deserve an happy ending #he deserves to be 6 inches underground #i'm sorry but you'll never see me forgive an abuser only because He NoW fEeLs SoRrY #he shouldn't have done any of that if he was gonna feel ooh so sorry in the end #dabi better have the happy ending he deserves or you'll never see me talk about bnha ever again #i'll talk about it but only about dabi and dabi alone #i'm so pissed upset and sad like– for fuck sake... #kelin talks

[candyskiez]

Love hearing my mom muttering about how stressful being my parent is and about how exhausting it is after I. Asked her if I should be worried about not being able to breathe. Jesus fucking Christ I just want to be able to rely on my parents for five minutes is that too much to fucking ask for

#candyskiez vent #im sorry me being worried about my health is so inconvenient. I'm sorry i get upset when i get injured. #god why didnt she get a fucking abortion if she hates being a parent so much #i can't ask her for Shit. anytime she admits she was a bad parent t me its repeating until i forgive her #sje makes my trauna abkut her. oh no its so sad that HER child got raped. #oh no its so sad SHE didnt stop my grandma from abusing me #oh no its so hard for HER to be guilty #i cant be upset at her because her kids being upset at her ks stressful for her. #shes not the one traumatized. #im so tired i want to fucking cry

[umbra-borealis]

Saw cool art IMMEDIATELY followed by that person rattling about the how 'bad the 2014 Thief gameplay is' and I'm sorry but that is the worst fucking take I've ever seen in my life.

I'm currently playing through the original trilogy and I won't be finishing the first two games because of how ass the controls are. Maybe it's just not for me and that's fine but that doesn't mean the entire game is bad. I'm so sick of this absolute garbage of an excuse not to give a game a chance because 9 out of 10 times they're not talking about the 'gameplay' and I don't think they are now because playing through Deadly Shadows literally made me go 'oh shit so that's where 2014 got it from' multiple times.

This goes for all videogames, stop being a dick. Stop being so unnecessarily aggressive in your opinion towards media because if you were a bit hit personally by me earlier calling the Thief 1 and 2 controls ass, that's my point, not fun is it? I've been saying this for YEARS but PLEASE just say 'I didn't like it' and keep it at that or slap it behind a read more or something. Just going 'it's bad it's bad' is not a review, feedback nor critique. People who love that thing don't wanna see it and to see it in a tag FOR that thing is worse. I go to that tag to find other people who like the same thing, not you ranting about how much you hate it.

#The first two are unplayable to me #They're not fun because the AI is clunky and finding all loot is a nightmare #They're old games so I'm hardly upset but I'm a little tired of people acting like a game with QOL chances is somehow worse #Im also sick of the rumor that the 2014 devs never played the trilogy #They CLEARLY DID #Yes the game is rough around the edges in sound design and cutscenes #Yes it's got a few bugs but I'm replaying on Master mode and in all my hours spent on it I found a whopping 4 bugs #None of them game breaking and one of them hilarious #If Skyrim can be SO MUCH WORSE but still get game of the year and get re-released into oblivion #Despite all of its GAME BREAKING bugs so bad the modding community had to fix it #Then you all SHOULD be more forgiving to Thief 2014 #Hell if you cared at all you'd know the team was put through crunch time and bad management decisions #Have a little fucking sympathy towards your fellow artists

[paintedmesgolden]

.

#my 15 year old cousin is going to eras tour toronto #forgive me for feeling jealous and bitter and literally every negative emotion about that fact #i was waitlisted and SHE got tickets and KNOWING taylor means more to me than she does to her #anyway i'm OBVIOUSLY being stupid and bitter because like #she's 15 #but i'm still so upset i just didnt think it'd be so hard to see taylor :')

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

hey, um, so i heard something about you supporting proshippers, and i just wanted to know if that was true?

not trying to start anything, just wanna know, sorry ('^-^)

i'm not a proshiper!!! but not an anti either i think? like don't get me wrong i despise pedo and underage artworks like hell but i also just blocked the tags and ships that make me feel uncomfortable a long time ago so i don't see it/reblog it accidentally and haven't seen anything like that in a while on my dash

and quite frankly labels like proship and anti terrify me HHH i don't agree nor condone harrasment or hate bombing but i also don't like proship content, especially untagged. i know you mean well dw but if i reblog anything that makes anyone uncomfortable please send me an ask to properly tag it to avoid further discomfort! i just wanna post and reblog art that caters to my hyperfixations hhh :'D

#receiving this ask was so scary HHHGHG #like!! i always see discourse about it online and i'm quite desensitized to gore and similar topics so it makes me feel awkward #i've seen people give varying definitions for both terms and i personally don't like siding with any of them just to be safe #i do block people and content that upsets me and choose not to get involved in drama cause it's frankly too stressful :'D #if it's about dreammare then i also don't ship it! it's not my thing sorry >:') #so forgive me if i didn't see something warranting a warning! thank you sm for passing by<3333

[marrissacooper]

sometimes I think about the concept of the Hyde and if I had a blood thirsty beast inside of me unlocked by trauma and torture that I couldn't control, I don't think I would've done better than tyler galpin

#the tyler galpin apologist jokes are funny but am i joking really #he was literally born this way #i love that the writers gave him anger issues before the hyde was unlocked #if he'd just been a nice and sweet boy fighting with his literal inner monster it would've been less interesting i think #what makes his story so sad is that he was already trying to prove he wasn't a terrible person before the hyde #also that's why the whole 'xavier was right about tyler!!' doesn't sit right with me #he literally wasn't #he made vague warnings based on sth that happened before the hyde was unlocked #while i understand he was upset about the bullying the two aren't connected #and wednesday wasn't wrong for forgiving tyler bc people can change and i think he was genuine when he said he really tried to #but to go back to my original point imagine you're tyler you know you haven't always been a good person and suddenly you turn into #a literal monster ofc you're gonna think the two are related #but they're not #like without the hyde he would've literally been the same as lucas #and no one has a pb with lucas as far as i know #idk if i'm making sense #also if you saw me post this already no you didn't

[vole-mon-amour]

Daniel saved Grace because he wanted to. If he stayed alive and saw their family dying, even the kids (he genuinely didnt give a fuck about those fuckers), he wouldn't blame Grace anyway. He wouldn't want to kill her, he wouldn't try to hunt her. If anything, he already believed all his family, including himself, deserve to die. He was that miserable and traumatized.

I genuinely believe that if he saw his entire family being blown up, but by the will of the devil stayed alive bc he actually tried to save Grace (and the devil finds it fun), he would've said a simple "Go." He would've told her to get out of there. He genuinely believed that Grace deserved better. The worst case scenario, Daniel would question why the hell did he stay alive when the only person in this family he genuinely cared about was Alex and now he died. He would've either tried to end his life then and there (after cursing at Le Bail, questioning on why, and still not getting killed even then. And I can even imagine Grace trying to protect him. Trying to convince him leaving with her, "We'll think of something. Daniel, please." Shielding Daniel from Le Bail.) Or Daniel would've become even more depressed & then it only depends if he finds reasons to live (and maybe seeks Grace out after a while, talking through this nightmare) or not.

But at no point in the story I think Daniel would've tried to hunt Grace down and kill her after he is so desperately tried to save her ("Alex might be in a wrong not to tell her, but do you remember how you reacted when I told you?"). Daniel tried to warn Grace at the very beginning but also didn't think it's his business (and he wanted Alex to be happy). It was very conflicting for him & I truly believe in him and his good personal treats. Also, Charity couldn't give a single fuck about Daniel and his well-being, only about the money, so why should I care? She didn't love Daniel and only insulted him again and again. Screw her.

You can believe otherwise, but not on my blog and not on my posts. This is a free Daniel x Charity & Alex x Grace zone. I won't elaborate any more than that (at least not at the moment). Please just leave if you disagree (and do not hit that reblog button if you disagree. I am not up for a debate.)

#ready or not #grace x daniel #anti daniel x charity #anti alex x grace #we said it before and I'll say it again: she married the wrong brother. #daniel would've probably been miserable is Alex died and idk if his relationship with grace would become stronger or not #but there's a lot to discuss and i don't believe Alex would've wanted to kill Grace #saw some opinions and it really hit the nerve #they're my babies and you're not allowed to touch them in my home #it's late and I'm tired and sleepy so forgive me any mistakes and typos #yes daniel comes from a rich family and what about it? #rich really are different but daniel eventually comes around #idk #I'm very upset about it #don't @ me

[pa-pa-plasma]

the thing people rarely talk about is being unable to tell if you're sick or not because you already have these symptoms chronically. like yes i still have a cough, but all the other symptoms of long covid are basically normal for me

#funny enough some of my chronic symptoms i've had for years are a result of another bad illness i got when i was young #now i have a chronically runny nose. i'm not allergic to anything my nose just won't stop running #& now i have More chronic symptoms. fucking great #the reason i think i have long covid though is because of the cough & my entire body feels like more shit than usual #my stomach is upset & my heart is like. vibrating #which only happens when i take my meds (literal amphetamines) which i havent been because of my symptoms #& no it's not withdrawal. these specific meds don't do that for me. i can go on or off them withing weaning & i'm perfectly fine #oh also my hands are fucking cold as hell #i overheat very easily but i've been so cold after i got covid #looking at the list & actually i think it's basically confirmed i have long covid #i'm never fucking forgiving my mother for being so relaxed about catching the fucking plague #there's a huge chance it killed her husband (advanced his disease) & she literally does not care. if it killed me she'd go ''oh well'' #every time i see someone not treating this situation with the seriousness it deserves i will take that personally

[skeletonnerdy]

You know? What if I just started posting again as if I didn't disappear for 4 months, like hypothetically...

#Some of them are so old #most of them are out of order too which is upsetting to me but I don't want to not post them #idk maybe I'm not Tumblr people but I still want to try #forgive me for my disappearance #like literally have posted anything sense my birthday wth

[hella1975]

Another taob chapter of you seeing inside my soul and writing it all out. The Gaang seeing what Zuko is doing and being hurt by it but still not letting him self destruct while Also still being like “you have to apologize that wasn’t cool” while holding his hand to show “you’re still valued, we still want you here, you deserve kind things” is making my chest hurt. I have always wanted that and never gotten it. Taob Zuko is the most character of all time for me and every chapter he gets closer to my chest. Also I’m sorry you relate to him bc so do I and it fucking sucks lol. Seeing yourself be mean while internally going “what am I doing! Stop you’re making things worse!” But being unable to stop? Oh my god I had Never seen that described by someone who gets it. You can feel guilty in the moment it’s not always hours after, you can feel bad and want to shut up before you even get the first word out because you already know you’re gonna say it. I think me and you are made from the same mold because what the fuck. Also I send you asks about taob so often I’m gonna start signing them just so you know all the things in a collective that I think about it - 🫐

blueberry anon we are starting a support group for people like us i am holding ur hand so tight this means a lot to me bc even though i wrote the chapter ive still - like you - literally NEVER seen this actually be illustrated in a... forgiving (?) light before. like i understand it's a fine line between saying this behaviour is okay and completely demonising it, but just having it be treated kindly is huge. like it's such a horrible horrible side of mental illness bc not only is it really hard to glamorise and therefore gets sidelined/not talked about, but you also are FULLY aware of how much of a cunt you're being. sometimes - like you said - you are literally aware of it in the moment and there's a voice screaming at you to just please shut the fuck up but you CANT, and other times it takes a bit to calm down before you snap out of that mindset and just look at the mess you've made like 'what the fuck', but regardless of the guilt, the accountability is still yours. i wanted to show in this chapter that a person can take accountability for those things and still be treated kindly. so often the moment you lash out or actually show a mean/ugly side of mental illness, people drop you and it's hard to even blame them, which ironically tends to make that need for self-destruction worse and you get stuck in a really awful cycle. but katara was clear that zuko had done wrong and needed to apologise, and she still held his hand in spite of it.

im glad you could find the same comfort in that as i did x

#like i am guilty of being mean as a self-destuction tactic AND as a defence mechanism and neither of them are pretty #bc they both boil down to 'get these people away from me' #and it sucks bc there's ALWAYS collateral damage and i dont want pity bc i feel like i dont deserve it #but im always a little upset when people blanket statement decide im a bitch from that point on #which seems counterproductive like if you dont want to get called a bitch then dont act like a bitch #but just once i wish someone would look a little closer at WHY im doing these things #like sometimes i'm spitting the rudest shit you ever heard and it's literally bc im SCARED. how pathetic is that #so yeah it was important to me in this chapter to show both zuko and aang in sympathetic lights #bc just as it's important to acknowledge why zuko's doing these things and that he's not doing it to be cruel #it's also important to acknowledge that aang probably wont forget what zuko said. like that is permanent damage #that even forgiveness wont spare him from and zuko needs and deserves to understand that #ask #taob asks