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lyouna · 5 years

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The story of Josh Dun

Joshua William “Josh” Dun is an American musician. Best known for being the drummer for the band Twenty One Pilots. He was born in Columbus, Ohio, on June 18, 1988. His star sign is Gemini. He has two sisters named Ashley and Abigail and a brother named Jordan.

Since his childhood, he was always terrified by talking in front of people even if it was a small group of it. However, when he is playing drums he does not feel that way, he is not as vulnerable as that when it comes to talking.

He self-taught when he was around 12 how to play drums, and worked at the Guitar Center for 3 years. He also worked with former Twenty One Pilots drummer Chris Salih, through whom he would eventually meet Tyler Joseph.

Dun's first foray into the music industry was with an alternative/Christian rock band House of Heroes. He joined the band through their drummer, Colin Rigsby, who was taking a break to spend time with his family. Dun played alongside the band on tour from March to October 2010 when Rigsby returned to his role.

"I would lay in my bed every night with sticks and hit my knees trying to figure out what they were doing, like, 'Okay, now they're hitting the ride cymbal, and now it's the snare and now the crash.' I would dissect everything that I watched or listened to. Every day I would walk to the local music store and play their electronic drums until one of the workers would be like, 'Hey, we have people in here that actually want to buy stuff so you've gotta go.' I did that for about a year and that's essentially how I learned to play some basic beats."

Throughout both middle school and high school, he didn't have a lot of money and it helps him to be more creative. He even thought about finding pieces of wood and figure it out how to make them in a drum. Figure out how they would sound with different holes in it, with different types of wood... Nevertheless, at this end, he said that the best drum set he had was one of SJC Drums.

He likes nothing more to do than to play drums; in fact, he plays the exact same way when he is in a dark room by himself and when he is in front of thousands of people. He said that he wants to be creative and just to get outside of the box even if that sounds weird.

He said that although his inspiration comes from some drummers, his greatest inspiration is his parents. Indeed, he starts playing drums in a sort of rebellious state again them and that turns into them being more than supportive.

In 2011, upon the invite of co-worker and the band's drummer Chris Salih, Dun attended a Twenty One Pilots show after listening to their original demo CD. Josh first saw Twenty One Pilots at a club on the Ohio State campus. “I loved everything about the show except for one thing: I wasn’t onstage playing also,” he says. After the show, he met lead singer and future bandmate Tyler Joseph, and a couple of days later began to build a friendship with him. It would be another year before Joseph’s original drummer quit and Dun got the job, but they had become best friends in the meantime.

By 2012, Joseph had grown into a ferocious performer, climbing the scaffolding and diving into audiences. The duo became the biggest band in central Ohio, putting every spare penny into the band and focusing intensely on their local fans. They filmed much of the “Stressed Out” video at Dun’s childhood home, so it has become a destination for Twenty One Pilots fans.

The highest point of his sort of musical journey was (according to his words) when he played for a college show at Ohio University. It was full of drunken kids, one of them even tried to pee on his drums and then on their merch. They eventually played one song and after it, the police shut them down. However, he said that it was the first show that he played with Tyler Joseph. He realized during this one song that he was playing with his best friend and he will never forget that.

The duo then released the band’s second studio album, Regional at Best. It was self-released on July 8, 2011. Regional at Best is a discontinued album. It is the last album released by the band prior to signing a record deal with Fueled by Ramen, and it is the first album to feature the talents of Josh Dun.

Josh Dun was raised in conservative, religious households. Video games and most rocks or hip-hop albums were banned. "I’d hide albums like Green Day’s Dookie under my bed," Dun says. "Sometimes they’d find them and get real mad. They’d find a Christian alternative, like Relient K, and make me listen to that."

For a while, the only movies allowed in the house came from CleanFlicks, a Christian company that took Hollywood movies and edited out all the profanity, sexuality and violence. For a young Dun, it made watching movies like The Terminator quite confusing. "Some scenes they’d remove entirely," he says. "Watching those movies was an absolutely awful experience."

By the time he was a teenager, Josh was rebelling hard. "I just had this aggression," he says, noting that his parents nearly kicked him out when he was 14. "They almost sent me to a military school. They did not know what to do with me, and I was always in detention. I never got into drugs or alcohol, but I would yell at my parents and just treat them terribly. Everything was an argument. Looking back, they were trying their best."

When his parents fell asleep, he would break out his punk-pop CDs; eventually, they softened up on rock music, allowing him to assemble a drum kit in his basement piece by piece with his own money. After he said this to some interviewers, he called his parents to explain himself.

"I actually called my parents after some articles came out – I never wanted for them to be painted in a bad light.

‘I’m so thankful for the way that I was raised. Ultimately, the idea of parents being strict or having rules, looking back, I did have a really rebellious phase and did whatever I could to do the opposite of what they wanted.

‘That’s all on me. For them, I think they were trying to do their best to raise me as best they could. They were trying to make the best decisions for me, and looking back, I can see they were the right decisions.

‘As I look at the rules I had, I wasn’t allowed to play video games or watch TV, so I went outside and made up games with my neighbourhood friends or built dirt ramps and rode our bikes over them.

‘I would be out from morning to night. I look at that, and I can’t imagine it if my parents had let me sit in and watch TV all day – I’d be a different person to who I am today, it’s thanks to them saying ‘‘get out and go do something"

He did not go to college, moving in with a bunch of buddies instead and playing in local bands while scraping by working in the drum department of Guitar Center. "I was going nowhere," he says. "One day I said to my dad, ‘Are you disappointed that I’m working a minimum-wage job and I didn’t go to college?’ I’ll never forget his response. He said, ‘It’s not about how much money you make or what your job is, but it’s more about your character. For that, I’m proud of you.’ It gave me motivation."

During an interview, Josh said “We’re always questioning things,” he says, “but I guess it’s safe to say that we’re both Christians.”

Although Columbus is still very much the Pilots’ base, Josh actually moved out to L.A a couple of years ago in pursuit of more sunshine while Tyler remained there. However, he says it has not made them working together any more difficult. “I’m equally in Columbus as much as I am there. We discussed this a lot before I moved out there. I always feared talking about us being in different places because I think that can be confusing to people from an outside standpoint - like are you guys still friends? Are you still in the band? We had so many conversations about logistics, but first of all, we’re together more than we’re not together over the course of a year. We’re on the phone every day and with technology, it’s so easy to get things done.”

On January 8, 2013, Vessel was born, it was their first album after signing with Fueled By Ramen and it received mainstream exposure. On May 17, 2015, Blurryface was released and the band received international success.

In July 2017, Twenty One Pilots went on hiatus for a year whilst they worked on their next album. On October 5, 2018, Trench was released, it was also a commercial success, reaching number one in six countries, including Australia, New Zealand, Spain, and the Netherlands and number two in several countries, notably the United Kingdom and the United States, as well as selling more than a million copies worldwide.

Therefore, he needed to learn how to deals with notoriety, he had the help of Tyler Joseph (of course), his family, and Debby Ryan. Indeed, from May 2013 to September 2014, he had a relationship with her. They got back together a few years later and in December 2018, Josh posted on Instagram his engagement to Debby in New Zealand during the second leg of The Bandito Tour. He wrote, «I found a tree house in the woods in New Zealand and proposed to my girl. She my dude for life. I love you Debby".

She also posts about it «My dude asked me on a date. I said yeah because I always want to go on dates with him. Then he asked me to be his forever dude. He does things well, and right. His timing has pressed us and never failed us. He's sincere and fun and disciplined and strong as heck and a nerd and a rockstar and a good midwestern man and a silly shirtless boy, and his family is endlessly warm and delightful and are such champions. I have two parents and a brother; they're superheroes and they're my home. They've been the only thing that moves my needle with the fierceness of deep empathy. I have never that out in the world. I guess I figured it wasn't a connection you could stumble upon, only something you could only be born into. Falling in love with joshua was discovering it in the wild. Building it with him, building in certainty, infinite in wonder. Our own lil family. Feels like growing up and moving through life is just evolving through different types of complicated. He is where all the voices narrow into one sound. My only simplicity, where the important things are clear and the other things aren't that important. He's my heart outside my body. He's a cold water awakening a warm bed; he's the place I can rest. Dudes for life. It was a really good date."

Josh has many tattoos and every single one have a strong signification. Firstly, John Graefe tattooed his right arm and then tell the story of it. “I was tattooing in Hollywood and he came in with bandmate, Tyler. They weren’t half as big as they are today and I had no idea at first. I just asked him the whole meaning behind his tattoo and he asked me to come up with the vision.”

The tattoo on his right arm had a blue geometric-like image or something that looks like a galaxy. Below is the image of nature. The musician mentioned that he would share this if it’s personally asked, but he did not want it spreading all over the Internet.

Both he and Tyler have an "X" tattoo on their body symbolizing their dedication to their hometown fans in Columbus, Ohio. They received it on stage during their hometown show at the Lifestyle Communities Pavilion on April 26, 2013. Dun's is located on his neck behind his right ear.

In October 2015, Tyler and Josh asked their fans to choose one of them among themselves via a vote on Twitter. The winner should have his name on the loser on stage. For 24 hours, the two boys shot several videos parodying the presidential debates on topics such as Christmas music or their favorite drink, the Red bull. The results of the vote were equal. Therefore, Dun sports the name "Tyler" above his left knee.

Josh has a tattoo on the inside of his left arm dedicated to his mom. A heart with "mom" written inside of it. Which she answers on Instagram by “These past few months have been exciting seeing how far Josh and Tyler have gone. But it’s been a little hard for me as a mother to feel like I have to share my son with the world. Josh, you getting this tattoo means so much to me. I love you and now your stuck with Mom forever! <3”

He has a drum tattoo on his left arm.

Chantelle Thong made his last tattoo during the Bandito Tour, on December 2018. It represents an astronaut/spaceman flipping, while simultaneously being abducted or levitating into a spaceship. It might be a reference to March to the sea. Fans assumed that the spaceman is Josh Dun.

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gilorestel · 6 years

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A sorta Demo from my book!

It’s a chapter from my upcoming novel that I’d like you to read, kinda like a demo, especially @promptoschocohoe and @neil-gaiman(If he’s interested). I don’t want corrections on stuff like grammar or spelling, just the overall feel and if the things I went for work. Genres are romance and a bit horror/mystery. Yes, the protagonist is a dude, but cmon.

Darkness there and nothing more.

I sat in my rather grand room, thinking. I wasn't thinking about anything particular, my mind was just reviewing all the things that had happened to bring me thus far. My mind was someplace entirely else, when someone knocked on the door. I bolted up almost comically and went to see who it was. To my surprise, it was Morticia. She now had a different dress on, that looked a lot heavier than the one from before, but still just as gorgeous. The dress was following the same dark and cold motives as the first one, but with less detail and a lot darker and silkier. This dress, though, looked more like one you would wear to shield against the coldness rather than being a physical embodiment of it. Just as I was finishing my thoughts, I looked up and practically starred into her face. Morticia had a thin, lean face with a pointy chin. Her mouth was wide, but that did not make her overall appearance worse. She had bound her hair back with a kind of knot on the back of her head, but that did not elude from the fact that it was surprisingly short. Normally, women of royalty or of great wealth had no need to cut their hair for practical purposes. They usually let it grow. When I finally came to examine her eyes, which were just the same as Jacob's, I realized I had been starring at her for a few to many moments. I only smiled sheepishly and asked her what she wanted. Her answer cut into my question. I had apparently taken to long for her comfort. “Dinner is served,” and then she vanished in the darkening shadows of the corridor. Well, it seemed it was time to get ready. I looked suspiciously at the clothes Jacob had laid out for me. After inspecting each article of clothing, I decided it wouldn't hurt to at least try them on. My struggle was a fierce one, but after what seemed like ages, I was finally able to put everything on. But after looking at myself in the mirror and deciding I couldn't and wouldn't wear this, I practically ripped everything off of me and went as I was dressed. The shadows had grown longer, I noticed as I made my way toward the entrance hall. From there, Jacob had said he would be waiting for me to pick me up, so that he could show me the way to the dining room. Room after room I passed. Great God this house is gigantic, I thought to myself. But finally, after some more rooms, some twists and turns, one small staircase followed by more rooms, I found the entrance hall. Below me stood Jacob, to whom I hurried. “This place looks totally different from the other side,” I said and gave myself a inner facepalm. I hate saying obvious things. Jacob laughed and said: “Yeah, things tend to do that from different perspectives. What happened to the clothes I lent you?,” He inquired after realizing I didn't wear the things he had laid out for me. “Well...,” I began, but Jacob interrupted me: “It's okay”, he grinned, “I never liked the things myself. I just thought they might fit you better than my other stuff” With that he referenced the fact that I was shorter than him. I elbowed his side and only replied with: “Want to show me to dinner?”. Jacob laughed and said: “Follow me, Sir”. This time I elbowed him even harder, which made him laugh even more. Jacob lead me through a series of corridors that all kind of looked the same, until we came to yet another set of double-winged doors. He pushed them open and gestured me to go in first. We stepped into a huge hall with a very long table set in the middle of it. And this table was filled with the most delicious looking stuff. There were honey roasted vegetables next to a strange, yellow-orange-ish drink that looked equally good, but the most eye-catching thing on the table wasn't something to eat, but it was the candle-holder in the middle of the huge table. It was apparently made of pure crystal, reflecting its own light throughout the whole room, somehow making the foods on the table look even better. “Like it?”, Jacob asked me unnecessarily, since he, judging by that playful smile surrounding his lips, already knew the answer. As an answer simply raised my hands to his face, held it softly, and looked him in the eyes. His gaze said all I needed, and so I stretched a bit toward his face and kissed it softly. He lowered his head a bit so that we could better engage in smooching. We stood like this for the next ten seconds, our faces pressed against each other's. Until we heard a cough. That kind of cough that respectfully wanted to tell you that you weren't alone in the room anymore. So, we parted from our long kiss, and looked to the big doors, where Morticia was standing. I could never really read her expressions, because she either always smiled politely or showed no emotions at all. Even her eyes rarely did, which, according to some, couldn't actually lie. Emphasis on the “actually”. Morticia had her “emotionless” expression on, but quickly switched to the polite smile. “Dinner,” she said softly, “Don't forget about dinner”. Her long, dark blue dress made no sounds at all, as she slowly floated to her chair on the far end of the table. Just as soundless, and very graceful, she seated herself. We did the same, with me sitting myself directly next to Jacob. I let my gaze sweep the table once more. Oh, the deliciousness! The agony of choosing! My decision- making was, as always, brilliant, that's why I simply chose a small loaf of white bread with onions baked in it, and a red wine to drink. Who needs exotic foods and drinks to choose from, when you only need what you always eat, right? Is that a thing... you say? But I digress. I bit into the onion-bread with a big bite. It was still warm. This was quickly eaten up and I reached for the next deliciousness. I now saw that Morticia still sat there, smiling politely. I wanted to ask her why she wasn't eating with us, but decided against doing that. If she didn't want to eat any of this amazingly good-looking(and smelling) food, she just didn't. I was not in a position to judge anyone for that. I let my eyes wander around the room once more, this time without limiting myself to the large dinner table made probably from the wood of an incredibly old and rare tree. The hall was even bigger than the entrance hall, but just not as high. A silvern chandelier hung up on the ceiling and distributed light nicely around the room. But the chandelier and the crystal candle-holder weren't the only light sources. On one side of the room there was a enormous fire place in which an equally enormous fire burned. You could probably feel the heat radiating from it in every corner of the room. And it was tall. Very tall. Presumably so tall that you could easily fit in a standing man. I returned my attention to my food. Just as I was about to grab a bowl of salad and place it next to me, so that I may take from it comfortably, a cat jumped on the table. The salad bowl was thrown out of my hand, and sailed across the room. There, it smashed on the floor and broke neatly into two pieces. I could feel all six eyes darting at me, and my face turned red very quickly. “How?,” Jacob started after a short while, obviously very amused from this whole situation. “Cheshire didn't slap you, she didn't even touch you!” My face turned crimson-red. “I-I have to go-”, I stammered and stood up. After shutting the double winged doors behind me, I heard Morticia say quietly, but clear enough for me to understand: “Well, that was an awkward... thing, that just happened” I stood there for the next few minutes, baffled about how foolish I had made myself look. Why couldn't I have just stayed in there and laugh it off? I sighed out of disappointment for my social skills. Going in there again would be hell, so I just decided to walk about and look at the house. I hadn't seen much when we arrived, not more than the way to my room and the dining hall. Well, and of course the way to the front door. I shivered. It was cold outside the living spaces, which were all lit up with bright fires. That's why my first stop was my room, where I put on more warm clothing. Also, I lit a candle, because what idiot would explore a house without light, I thought whilst peering out a window facing a dark forest that looked like one big entity in this darkness, expanding far beyond the visible horizon. It may not be very late, but it was autumn, with winter creeping up. I wandered down long corridors, with my footsteps and my breath being the only sounds I heard, and looked at creepy medieval paintings that depicted gallant knights and bored, but pretty looking ladies. The light I held made everything look possibly ten times creepier than they probably were. Suddenly, I heard a noise. It sounded like a creaking door. Obviously, it came from behind me. But against all my urges, I did not turn around, as I was frozen to the spot I was standing on. The creaking had ceased, but it was replaced almost immediately by other sounds. Breathing. Footsteps. Coming toward me from behind. It couldn't really be a human doing those noises, seeing as the breathing was to loud and the footsteps too fast to qualify as human. Closer and closer they came. My whole body froze into a state of neither being able to duck and hide, nor to run away. The candle flickered as the footsteps sped up and came closer still. Just as they were right behind me, they stopped. But the breathing didn't. In fact, I could feel its breath on my neck. Slow, but steadily. A few moments passed. The breathing had stopped. But not suddenly, it sort of faded away. Finally, I let out my own breath, which I now only noticed that I had held it in for that long. It took me a few moments, but then I decided to carry on doing my exploring, even though I was still very much frightened by the thing that just happened moments before. Carefully I set one step before the other, not wanting to generate any noise myself to hear it coming... if it came again. But after a while I couldn't hold the tension any longer and almost bolted to the door nearest to me. While still walking toward it, I tried to grab the doorknob. And while I touched it, I forgot to turn it, so I ended up running against it. Now, this was certainly something. After a second attempt I finally managed to open the door. I stumbled into the room and closed the door behind me, still fearing something to spring out at me while I wasn't looking. Relieved I leaned against the door and allowed myself to breathe a bit louder. I looked around. I was in a very large room, apparently, since all I could see were shadows dancing on the floor, that was only partially illuminated by my candle. A large room, huh, I thought. So it must have electricity. Next to the door I found a switch. So this room had electricity! I turned on the light and flickering the seemingly hundreds of light bulbs on the ceiling were lit. I was standing in a library. I loved books, and especially the older ones had a very special aesthetic that I just adored. And this very library seemed to be a source of old books. I almost screamed out of excitement, but then I remembered what just had happened and I shivered about the thought of it hearing and watching me. Whatever that just was. A ghost, mayhaps? But no matter, I was safe here. Or at least I felt safe. I began to wander through the library, past tall and wide shelves almost bursting with books. My fingers were almost instantly gray of dust as I brushed them on the many books as I past by. It even smelled wonderful in here! Of old paper, dust, and dry wood. I took a random book from the shelf. It was a book about cooking. I slowly opened it and made the discovery that it was a spanish cook book. I didn't speak spanish, so I couldn't be sure, but it definitely looked like spanish. The book next to it was a book with tips for intercourse. I blushed and closed it almost immediately, and went to the next book. This book, on the other hand, was the bible. I made the assumption that nobody had ever cared to sort any of these books ever. Not even genres were consistent. I discovered this after I saw that a romance novel, a collection of poems, and a ghost story standing side by side on the shelf below the one with the cook book. After a few more books opened and closed, I came to the conclusion that there was definitely no order to these things. I took the book of poem collections and went to a comfortable looking chair near a cold fire place. On the way there I passed a window. The cold of the night streamed in through the thin glass. I shuddered, lit a candle that was near the stove, turned off the lights to save precious energy(a room full of light bulbs must cost a ton to maintain) and seated myself with the candle on the chair. It squeaked and protested, and I could swear a moth flew out of it as I sat down, but I remained seated nonetheless. I put the candle on a little table near me, and began to read. The first poem I opened at was, “The Raven”, from a chap called “Edgar Allan Poe”. I doze off when I was about half done reading, and woke up in complete darkness, the word “Nevermore” was still echoing in my mind. The candle had expired and I only now noticed how freezing cold it was in here. I waved my hand in front of my face to see how much I could see. And that was hardly anything. I sighed and fumbled around on he small table if I had taken the lighter with me. Of course I hadn't. I wanted to sigh again, but I froze as I saw a light behind a bookshelf lighting up. It wavered up and down, left and right, never standing still. My first thought was that it might be someone holding a candle, but as my eyes adjusted to this new brightness, I realized. The light was glowing green. For what seemed like hours I stared at it, not having the courage of investigating what the hell that was. But slowly and surely I made the decision to do so. And just as slowly I uncovered myself and stood up. Just in that moment the window closest to me burst open which made the curtains flutter in the ice cold wind and I imagine large amounts of dust clouds and perhaps even a few lighter books being lifted off of into the air. In the split second this happened I ran over to the window and shut it almost as quickly as it had happened. As I closed the window, I could hear thunder rolling in the distance. My heart thundered as well. Now, again with silence dominating the room, I looked back at the light. It was gone. But there I saw it, in another corner. Again it remained hidden behind a bookshelf, so I couldn't make out its source, but with new-found courage, I went to investigate. Slowly I stumbled my way to the light's source, hitting my knee against chairs and shelves that just stood kind of off as I proceeded. I was certainly still very self conscious about the noises I made, but I worried less and less about them the closer I got. But right before I could turn around the corner of the shelf and see what cast such a light, it fled. Again I slowly made my way to the light, but this time, it stayed. It was like a glowing orb of green light, wavering around in the air. It didn't have an exact shape, it just looked like it was shaped. My breathing increased as I lifted my hand to touch it. Just before my fingers came into contact with it, it vanished. I looked around, seeking where it could be next, but it was gone. Totally. Suddenly, something was screaming. It was an unnatural, high pitched sound, and it filled the room. My ears felt like they were bleeding, from all that and I covered my ears with the palm of my hands and sank to the ground. I wanted it to stop! And then it did. But right as the monstrous screaming stopped, I heard glass shatter. The light bulbs must've not liked all that screaming, I noted, as I felt and heard glass fall to the floor from a great height. Just in that moment Jacob burst into the room. He automatically tried the switch, but as no light turned on, he ignored it and began yelling my name in despair. I could hardly hear him, my ears were still numb, but I yelled back anyways, still curled up at the floor, eyes closed and ears covered. Somehow, even in this complete darkness, he found me. Even though there were glass splinters everywhere on the floor and on my back, he took me in his arms. Eventually he helped me stand up, brush all the remaining glass off of me and hugged me once again. “So, what happened?”; Jacob asked softly, “We've been looking for you. After your sudden disappearance at dinner I of course looked for you in your room, But after you weren't there... I asked Morticia if she would help me find you. And by God I needed her. This house is way to big for the three of us” “You think yourself the house is to big?”, I asked in surprise, “Didn't you grow up here?” Jacob shook his head, “No, I didn't. I grew up in a much smaller house. We only moved here when I was maybe your age. And even if I had, this house would still be to big”, he smiled at me in understanding, “So, what happened”, he repeated, this time expecting an answer. “I- I don't know, I was just... embarrassed-” “No, not that,” he smiled even brighter, in amusement this time, “I mean here, what happened here”. Still lying in his arms, in began my tale: “After that... indecent, I went exploring this house. This castle of a house,” I smiled back at him when I said this, “and then something... strange happened. I think I was almost molested by a ghost!”, Jacob laughed at this, looked around and then said: “Well, it looks more like the ghost took out a great wooden club and smashed all these lights.” “No, no, I mean-before that,” I gathered my breath and continued: “When I was on the way here it happened. I was walking down the hall, looking at these super old, super creepy paintings, and then it was like I was being followed. I heard noises, like footsteps, and then something was breathing on my neck... so I fled in here,” I swallowed, noticing only now how thirsty I was, “in here... there was this weird light, and I-I am scared!” And I was scared as I recalled those frightening moments. “Shush,” Jacob hugged me tighter, “I'm here with you, I'm here...” Slowly I relaxed. I was not alone. Jacob was here, with me. “So he is found?”, a voice called from the doorway. It was of course, Morticia. “Yes, he is here,” Jacob replied. “Good. Don't ever lose him again in this house,” she said and was gone. I looked at Jacob curiously and asked: “What-what's that about?” He looked at me strangely and said: “She meant the house. It's so vast... She worries you might lose yourself in it” “Lose myself in it? That's a weird way to say I might get lost” “Ah well, Morticia...”, he only replied and proceeded to help me get up. “Let's go,” he then said and we left the library in silence. For what seemed like the tenth time today Jacob led me through the house. We arrived in a small kitchen, where he showed me to a couch directly next to a large window. “Uhm, Jacob,” I asked, “why is there a couch in a kitchen? And where did all the food come from today? I haven't seen a servant at all. And if you don't have servants, then who made all of it?” “Whoa, slow down mister,” he said, looking taken aback, “Okay, so, the servants have already left for today, but there are still servants. Even though I plan on firing most, if not all due to our relationship. And those servants made the food, okay?”, he glanced over to the couch, and the couch is just there because why not.” “Rich people are so weird,” I stated and then asked: “And why are we in a kitchen?” Jacob sighed: “Questions about questions, huh? Because I thought it'd be nice for you to eat a bit more and also I wanted to have a bit privacy with you, without making certain sisters suspicious. So, now it's your turn to answer me some questions” I seated myself next to him and said: “I'm not hungry, thank you, but what for questions?” Jacob took a moment before he finally asked me: “Well, your backgrounds, for instance. I know where you come from and that you lived with your aunt, but hardly anything else. Like your parents” As Jacob saw my blank face I got after hearing his questions, he quickly added: “N-Not if you don't want to, honestly, I can handle not knowing quite well” “No, no it's okay”, I assured him and thought about what to tell him. “My life had always been a horrid one,” I finally started, unsure where to begin. I decided my birth would be a good place to do so: “Born with only one eye functioning, as you can clearly see, and a father that died on a business trip when I was only three or so, my life shaped up to be a glamorous one, overflowing with luck.” Neither Jacob nor I chuckled at this dry joke. We were both much to melancholic for that. “After that my mother fell into depression, yet she still wanted to care for her child, and so remarried, after maybe three years or so” I took a deep breath before I went on. “That lucky bastard didn't quite turn out how we expected, working hard and earning almost nothing, and he soon was injured by a speeding train ignoring the stop signals, while he was working to repair the tracks. Long story short, there was a major explosion and he was completely burned and paralyzed, leaving him to our care. At least, that's what would've happened if he hadn't stopped breathing in the middle of one night, next to my mother, who was still clutching their big pillow the next morning that was smeared full of burned skin and a bit of blood he must've coughed up during the whole ordeal, still trying to breathe desperately.” After saying this I looked at Jacob, trying to read his emotions. It didn't happen every day you revealed your mother to be a murderer. But Jacob didn't even look at me, starring glumly out of the window. Taking another deep breath, I continued: “Or that's what I figured, I was only seven back then after all. Nobody ever suspected her though, or maybe the people coming to mourn for him and our loss just took pity on us. Maybe no one just cared” Here, I stopped. The next part was going to be difficult for me: “But one day my mother came home announcing that she now knew how to care for us, and from that day on a lot of people came in and out of our house. They all slept in her room, and most were men. She told me they stayed the night because they worked here in this part of the city but lived some place else. I don't know how much of that was actually true, but the money came in, you know. At least, until she got sick.” Jacob turned and looked at me, not with disgust, as I had dreaded, but with pity in his eyes. I knew the look. Pity was the kind of thing you felt for others when you couldn't relate to those people, but you did feel sad for them. I came to hate seeing from strangers when they saw me walking down the streets with my obvious disfigurement. But in Jacob's eyes I could read he actually cared. Now, with a running nose and tears that appeared in the corners of his eyes, Jacob asked: “What kind of sick?” I paused and thought about it for a bit. Then I explained, or tried to, my voice shaking: “A lot of stuff. She bleed a lot through her nose and mouth, so places you shouldn't bleed from and couldn't move much. I cared for her. Made her food, made her fire extra large when she felt cold under the amounts of blankets she was under. She also had bruises everywhere, especially on her... well, buttocks and cheeks. I never said anything, even as I came to understand what they meant. The people still came though. But then... she died.” Anyone else might have started crying after having to face such horrible memories again, especially a memory as sad as the death of a loved one. But I only felt a familiar coldness spread in my chest. Jacob now had tears rolling. “The officials came and took me to live with my aunt. Life was okay with her, but I'm still very glad we met. I'd be fine with a better life, with you”, I finally said and hugged Jacob tightly. After silent moments of us gazing out of the kitchen window, Jacob simply said: “Yeah”

It was raining when I woke up. I could feel and hear Jacob's heart as it was pounding against my ear. We both were still nuzzled together in a very uncomfortable looking, but very comfortable feeling position on the couch next to the window. Outside gray clouds had taken over the early morning sun and the wind was soaring through the treetops, bending the branches and loosening the leaves. It looked like winter was tightening its grip. I lay my head down on Jacob's strong chest for just a few moments longer. “This moment seems like a dream”, I whispered, mostly to myself, but also to see if Jacob was awake. And sure enough he was, as he whispered back: “Then it is a good dream. Let the nightmare pass”. In that very moment, I felt my whole being fill with love, as strange as that sounded. His hand started caressing my hair and so did my hands with his beard. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead and said: “Good morning, my love” I closed my eyes again and relished the moment. The noise of the rain drumming against the window, Jacob's heartbeat and warmth and my sleepiness made this moment perfect. A good dream indeed.

#gay romance #novel #horror #mystery

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