Tumgik
#so maybe ill get lucky and have it approved but i super doubt it
shimp-heaven · 1 year
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:3c
#being unemployed and insane is a fucking trip lol#i desperately want to be doing something but i cant go three days without having an episode#and my therapist isnt acknowledging most of my symptoms#im going through emdr for ptsd but like what about the psychosis what about the mood swings#ive talked about my horrible sensory issues and she says its just anxiety and im like what#i cant even get out of the house cause im not allowed to drive and everything within walking distance is fuvking expensive as hell#and ubers arent in the budget#thank god theres a sliding scale clinic where i get my meds for literal cents idk what i would do without it#im getting my teeth looked at wednesday im equal parts excited and terrible#depression and sensory issues have wrecked my teeth :(#idk bro#im thinking about selling some of my higher value plushes to get some money to do something fun#cause i have negative five dollars in my bank account lol#i would just go to the library or something but one i cant get there myself#and two when my gf gets off work shes usually dog tired so i feel so freaking guilty for asking her#i have an active disablility claim its about nine months in#so maybe ill get lucky and have it approved but i super doubt it#since my psych team refuses to diagnose me with anything#apparently its really hard to get approved for ptsd and thats like my biggest on paper issue thats actually listed#i talk about getting a job but i cant even be in a gas station for more then two minutes without freaking out#so idk how i think im gonna be able to handle a job#plus itll look really bad on my disability claim if i get a job#so im kinda damned if i do damned if i dont#ugh im just shaking myself by the shoulders and yelling BE NORMAL JUST BE NORMAL#but :3 i stay silly i guess#idk if youve actually read this i give you an internet cookie 🍪#if you have any advice let me know i guess
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sceptilemasterr · 5 years
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Evan Plays The Elementalists: Chapter 6
Previous Liveblog: Link
Are we gonna play Thief today? I hope so!
Title In!
“Ill Omens?” At first I read it as “[Roman numeral 3] Omens” and got really confused
Aster... please be ok! What’s going on?
“Branching?”
MC: “Branching?” MC, why are you me?
This is actually a cool concept! Kinda like a tree Internet?
Me: “This ‘branching...’ It looks like it hurts you.”
I highly doubt Aster is using dark magick.
Wood nymph magick sounds really interesting actually! I like this idea!
Aww, Aster is so cute!
I sense a diamond scene?
Yep, freakin’ called it.
Me: “Aster, that’s so thoughtful. I want to know more!”
I really like Aster, but also I think there might be a clue in this scene?
Okay, the dark-eyes thing is a little creepy.
Oh yay, she’s back to normal.
“Blood?” As in... “Blood-Attuned?”
“Fragment.” Yeah I got nothing for that one.
And Phil even mentions the eyes. He is so me.
Me: “So, about this branching thing... How strong is your ability?”
I’m curious!
Modest trees? Weird yet strangely cute.
I hope this “cultural exchange program” means Aster will become a student! That would be so awesome!!
Me: “Aster... Can you tell me about wood nymph magick?”
I was just thinking about this a few choices ago!
Aster the yoga instructor. I can see that.
Me: “Aster... Please teach me a wood nymph spell!”
I doubt she’d approve of my fire spell.
“How positively taboo! I would be honored to.” Love her!
“Wanna spread those pretty petals of yours and photosynthesize?” Phil, that sounds like a bad pick-up line. Stop that.
I turned it into a different species? WAT.
Is she talking about Griffin?
Yep!
Me: “Honestly... You’d be lucky to have me.”
Gotta show off that confidence.
Air magick! Well, good thing I’m an Air-Att then!
Grey Wind, I choose you!
The Arylu is ADORABLE btw.
...I don’t really want to use the marble here, I have the feeling it just makes the timed choices easier? At least that’s the impression I’m getting?
Me: “I’m going to... Save it for later.”
Alright, let’s do this! LEEEEROY JEEEENKINS!
A meadow? Uh...
Me: “Get Grey Wind’s help!”
I doubt those other options would help.
Nice!
...Ok, a dungeon now. Stealth mode activated!
Me: “Tiptoe.”
Boom.
Forest time!
Wizard duel, go!
Me: “Set her jersey on fire.”
There wasn’t an obvious “correct” option but I have a Fire spell, so...
...Derp, that was dumb.
Ahh! Dreamguy!
Wait, if that was just part of tryouts, then how the hell did Dreamguy get in?
Yeah, something tells me I didn’t make it.
Never mind! Guess my screw-up didn’t hurt too much!
Aww, Zeph... :(
(This background is gorgeous btw.)
Me: “Zeph... My spot should be yours...”
I feel like I only got onto the team because I’m the MC.
Why did I spend my diamond choice already? :(
Me: “I need to... Give Zeph some space.”
Sorry, Zeph...
Shreya! Hi! I love you!
Me: “I think I need to look for answers.”
“Wait, do they have that here?” I adore this MC. Even if they are kind of a derp.
Me: “Shreya, you’re beautiful when you’re being super confident.”
In all seriousness, I really do find confidence incredibly attractive.
“Oh, stop. And by stop, I mean keep going.” Love ya Shreya!
I really want a Shreya scene... hope this isn’t a diamond choice! There’s usually only two per chapter, right?
Aww :(
Me: “A picnic with you? Maybe some other time.”
It’s not you, it’s my wallet!
Shadow monster. Well, shit.
Hit it with Sun magick again, Phil! Come on, we’ve been through this before...
Me: “Use the Round Up spell!”
Derp, that was a misclick. I meant to use the Fire one!
...Oh, well, it worked anyway?
Never mind.
Well, thank God for Professor Swan!
So does she know something? I think so!
Final Thoughts: I really, REALLY wanted to do the picnic with Shreya! The Aster scene was great too but idk if that counted as a clue or not? I’m still not sure what’s going on with Dreamguy and the shadow monsters... hopefully next chapter! (As soon as I replenish my diamonds, anyway!)
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hillnerd · 6 years
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Taking a Shallow Breath Ch 7
|Harry Potter | Fanfiction | PG-13 | in-progress | Ch: 3706 words
Ships: Rose/Scorpius, canon and others | FF.net
Romance friendship comedy family & drama | starts super silly- will get more serious as we go. 
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 
A person's front door can say a great deal about them.
Some people enjoy choosing grande hand-carved doors that have history, and speak of times of old. Scorpius tended to like people who chose such doors. It meant they appreciated artistry, quality, and could embrace the unique. They also had a flair for drama. Rose loved those kinds of doors.
Some people prefer the clean lines of an Edwardian door. These usually put more effort into the knobs, hinges, and door-knockers than the wood itself. They speak of someone who enjoys details, while being beyond the fuss of the overly grande, and relatively down to earth. Scorpius had such a door.
There were also doors filled with character but no artistry. Albus had such a door. It was beaten up from years of use, a faded orange color, and the number six hung down so that it looked like a nine. He had a shoddy matt out front with stripes, and though it was anything but put together, it had a certain charm about it.
And finally there was the red hunk of metal Brad had the audacity to call a door.
It bore no decoration- there wasn't even a welcome matt: just a cold steel handle, highly glossy red metal and a black peep hole. It spoke of someone slick like the varnish, cool like the metal, and flashy like that atrocious tomato red.
Scorpius hated that door.
What he hated even more was that he had been staring at it for one hour, nineteen minutes, and ten seconds.
"Rose! Open this door! This is getting ridiculous!" yelled Brad.
One hour, nineteen minutes, and fifteen seconds with the poncy owner himself.
"Calling her actions ridiculous will hardly entice her to leave," Scorpius drawled from the floor.
Brad tried another spell. The door glowed blue then turned garish red again.
"You've also tried that spell already," said Scorpius, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "Rose's Charms are the best. Get a magical locksmith: I doubt drawing up contracts for overpaid Quidditch stars has improved your charms enough to worm your way in."
Scorpius was satisfied to see Brad's shoulders tense. Until Brad, Scorpius had never met someone he could not get a rise out of when he wanted to. He had never seen the man lose his cool, which made Al's theory that 'Bert' was not human slightly more plausible.
"It's a Sunday. Magical Locksmiths are like banks and private practice Healers- closing at the merest hint of a Holiday or weekend." Brad leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "Rose's Uncle is a cursebreaker... Perhaps I could get him to open the door."
"If you want the whole Weasley family to know your personal business with Rose, by all means do," said Scorpius. "I'm sure her father would be keen to know why his only daughter has barricaded herself."
Brad blanched.
"You know, this is probably the most I've ever heard you talk, Scorpius."
Scorpius stoically did not mention he despised Brad and generally made excuses to escape his company.
"I suppose I just don't see enough of you and Al, though I think Al orchestrates that. He seems to rather despise me. If it weren't for the fact that he and Rose were cousins ,I'd think he were jealous."
"He is very protective of Rose," Scorpius said with a schooled shrug.
"As are you."
Scorpius remained silent. He didn't like where Brad was probing with this conversation.
"You know, there is a closeness between you and Rose I quite envy at times..."
"Perhaps, if you weren't so busy negotiating with Melrose Fenwick, you could spend time with Rose," said Scorpius.
"We spend plenty of time together," Brad said with a raunchy smile that made Scorpius roll his eyes. "But I still envy your friendship. Sometimes I even worry she tells you things she would never tell me."
"I wouldn't know. I'm not privy to your private conversations, after all." Scorpius could not recall being more uncomfortable. He hoped this would bring an end to this intimate look into Brandon Bradley's perspective. He came from a family where you were taught to never reveal your weaknesses, or worries, for fear they would be exploited later. Being a Slytherin only further enforced this. Scorpius had very few people he trusted with his insecurities, secrets and dreams. Brad would never be one of them, and he had no idea why Brad felt the need to share such details with him.
"She's incredibly special, you know? I even wonder how I was lucky enough to catch her."
Scorpius had pondered that subject many a time.
"I don't pretend to understand your relationship, but your friendship means a great deal to her, so whatever it is you're holding against me, I hope we can move past it. I know she'd appreciate it if we got along," said Brad.
Scorpius resisted a gaffaw.
Either Brad was very shrewd, or he was a much more gracious person than Scorpius had thought him. He hoped it was the former, that way his continued hatred would feel even more just. Was he trying to weasel something of a confession out of Scorpius?
Or maybe he was hoping to use Scorpius as a way to quickly earn Rose's forgiveness.
Scorpius had never cared much for Brad. The man was much too keen to have everyone's approval, an attribute Scorpius disdained. What tolerance he had for Brad dipped when he took up with Rose three years prior- but following the proposal, Scorpius found it hard to recall one pleasant thing about him. If someone like Rose could manage to stand the bastard, he had to have at least one redeeming feature, and after thinking, Scorpius discovered it. He had clean fingernails. There! That was surely enough for karma's sake.
Looking at the shiny door, Scorpius could make out their reflections as they sat together. At first glance one might think the rivals friends.
What if they were friends? Wouldn't Rose appreciate it? Wouldn't Scorpius have more opportunities to sabotage Brad and leave him in a crying mess on the floor for others to mock?
Scorpius felt a bit ill. It was uncomfortable to come to terms with how deeply rooted and savage his feelings towards Brad had become.
The most ruthless part of him wanted to sabotage Brad in every way. He did not want to stop at just stealing Rose, but hurt Brad's reputation, and leave him gutted. He wanted revenge against the ponce for ever having taken Rose's time and attention.
He shook his head to rid himself of this dangerous territory of thought. He never considered himself spiteful- though he had been known as a bit harsh at times, he was nothing if not fair. He was not terribly fluent in underhanded dealings, only ever dabbling in them when necessary, for he had always regarded himself as above that. He was a pillar of virtue, compared to many of the Slytherins he knew.
Of course, being friendly with Brad could have other benefits, like research on how to get Rose to see all the faults in him Scorpius and Al did. He would finally end the hold Brad had on Rose's affections, and if Brad would suffer, so be it.
"Yes, she would appreciate us getting along," Scorpius finally conceded.
"I'm willing to try."
"And I'm willing... to look past your atrocious taste in architectural features."
Brad laughed.
"Yeah, it's not quite as classic as your tastes-"
"That's one way to put it," said Scorpius with a raised brow at the door.
"I suppose that's why you're the architect."
"I don't have any business cards with me, but feel free to floo my secretary. It needs an overhaul, if not for taste's sake, then for your neighbors'. I would have lodged a complaint years ago."
"You know, it's been over an hour," Brad said, deftly changing the subject. "Part of me is wondering if she's in there or not."
Scorpius turned his head to the side. A spark of thought burgeoned within him. Rose was not there at all... and he had a reasonably good idea of where to find her. The more he thought on it, the more he felt the need to leave immediately.
"Well, it seems there is nothing I can do to rectify this situation. I suppose I'm going to go home," he said, hoping Brad took no notice of his sudden inspiration. Brad didn't seem concerned, so Scorpius took his leave, doing his best to look unhurried. The moment the doors closed on the the elevator he apparated.
He was immediately in the familiar alleyway near Marylebone High Street. Of all the wizard inventions, how they had not managed to get better apparating points, he was unsure. The alley had the same long abandoned posters featuring bands he had never heard of, and long-forgotten flyers of past classes liberally lining its its brick walls. At one point people must have passed by this area quite often, but the foreclosed building at the end of the alley looked like it hadn't seen people in a decade. It was a shame, really, as it was built rather handsomely, and with a few spells and layers of paint, it would be a grande place for a business of some sort.
He walked fast as he could without gaining unwarranted attention, until coming to the dark blue doors of the museum.
"Malfoooy!" he heard a voice trill from inside. Vanessa, a plump genial woman called him from the desk. The bubbly woman had worked there ever since its opening, she told him some years ago. She seemed an odd fit for the quiet rooms of the small museum, especially as her trilling laugh would echo off the walls disturbing the guests. He fished in his pockets to pay her for admission. "Don't you try to pay us. You and Rose are in here often enough, it wouldn't be right to ask you to pay each time."
"Fine, but I swear I'll manage to pay you eventually," Scorpius said, re-pocketing a muggle bill. "Is Rose in her usual spot?"
"Oh yes! Same as usual," Vanessa said with a laugh. Scorpius gave her a nod of thanks, before making his way into the gallery. A few turns and flights of stairs, and he was able to see Rose's bright hair. She sat alone on her bench, firmly staring at the painting front of her. Her hand tried to sneakily remove a piece of chocolate from her purse. The purse crinkled in a way that made him suspect this was not her first piece of the day.
"I believe it's against the rules to bring in outside food or drink," said Scorpius, pointing to the sign above her head that said 'no outside food or drink.'
"It doesn't say anything about chocolate," she said pushing another chocolate into her mouth, and licking her fingers. She moved the purse, almost overflowing with wrappers, to the side. Whether she moved it to make room for him to sit, or to conceal how many chocolates she had eaten, he was not sure.
He silently sat on the proffered spot, though not without spelling away a pair of chocolate finger prints from the seat.
Rose continued to chew, a look of consternation wrinkling her brow. She had a bit of chocolate in the corner of her mouth.
"Here." He handed her a handkerchief. She wretched it from his hand and wrathfully swiped at her face.
"Are you all done depriving the greater Western Hemisphere of cocoa, or should I wait until we can roll you out the door?"
Rose scowled at him.
"You're not going to hex me into the wall like your fiance, are you?" he asked.
"I would never do that in a museum!" Rose replied, scandalized. "But once we're out of here, there are definitely no guarantees."
"Good to know. You should never warn your enemies, though," he replied, patting his wand.
"That's such a Slytherin thing to say!"
"And that's such a a Gryffindor response!" he mocked.
They sat in companionable silence, staring at Rose's favorite painting "La Belle Dame Sans Merci." Scorpius suspected she loved it because of the featured temptress who had hair every bit as red and wild as Rose's. Everything about it was like a person were in a mythical dream. The redheaded woman who held an otherworldly grace of temptation, the grande steed, the bright glow of the knight's armor; all of it created a picture one could get lost in. Rose attempted to get lost in it weekly, and sometimes more.
"O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms, alone and palely loitering?" Rose recited.
"Besides having to put up with your wild temper, and a bad case of asthma, I'm doing fairly well," Scorpius laughed.
"It's from the poem the painting is based on, dimwit," said Rose.
"I knew that and was being ironic, swot."
"Who wrote the poem it's based on, prat?" she challenged.
"Keats, gasbag. I do occasionally listen when you go into your long speeches about paintings."
"You're on my good side again, then. Plus, I didn't feel like being a human thesaurus any longer. Want to get going?"
Scorpius acquiesced and they left the museum, Rose leading the way. With them, a good teasing argument usually settled any disagreement. The cool air gave Rose a lovely flush under her spattering of freckles. They walked in silence before Scorpius suddenly asked the question:
"Was there a particular reason you were so miffed at me, earlier? With Al and Brad it was fairly obvious, but me..."
Rose stopped at a window display and feigned interest in the vases there.
"So, was there a reason, or were you just exercising your right as a redhead to have a perilously short temper?"
"I was just a bit mad at you for escalating the argument with Brad, really," she said coolly. "All your annoying asides didn't help an already difficult situation."
"Ah, and here I thought you were jealous of my orgy with Lily and Mags," said Scorpius, demeanor calm.
Rose made a face and tossed her hair over her shoulder.
"You wouldn't do that," she stated firmly. Scorpius silently watched her reflection, eyebrow arched.
"Or at least Mags and Lily wouldn't do that. I'm still... unsure about your moral ambiguity."
"Hmm," he replied, seeing her flustered expression. "I must admit I can be very morally ambiguous. I suppose I'll just have to depend on you to rehabilitate me."
Scorpius then did something reckless. He was standing intimately close to her and took a curl from her forehead and pushed it to the side, his fingers grazing her pale brow. She seemed to hold her breath, but he could still smell the chocolate in it. Her blue eyes deepened, her delicate and inviting lips opened as her eyelids started to flutter shut. But suddenly Rose backed away with a great jerk and the spell was broken.
"Very funny, you dirty minded thing," she exclaimed, with an overdone laugh. "So! What were they doing in your apartment? Besides the 'orgy'— you can leave those details for someone who cares."
"They decided my wardrobe needed an update."
"I like your old clothes better."
"Lily sort of insisted—"
"Since when do you listen to anyone's advice on anything?"
Scorpius rolled his eyes. Rose always had an answer for everything, one of her traits that both annoyed and endeared her to him. In this case, though, she was chattering to keep him at bay.
"Well, perhaps this little experiment in fashion proves I am right in not listening to people's advice," he said. "But I do not want to argue about it anymore, Rose."
"Scorpius! Rose!" they heard from down the street.
They turned to see Lily bounding towards them. Scorpius supposed Al had told her about Rose's little street.
He was going to give a greeting when Lily pressed herself against him and kissed him. Had she been someone else, he imagined he would have greatly enjoyed such a kiss. It was far too long for propriety, and left him rather dazed as one of her hands snaked its way into his hair. After a few moments of her exploring his molars with her tongue she popped off of his face and gave him a sultry grin.
"Hullo, lover."
"Hi," he said with a great breath, trying not to pull a face.
"Hi..." Rose said in such a cantankerous way that Scorpius suddenly realized what had just transpired. Her expression looked somewhere between confusion, distaste and anger.
"So... What are you doing here?" Scorpius let out, his mind catching up to the situation as rapidly as it could. He would have to ask her to refrain from such kisses in the future as it muddled his brain.
"Brad Flooed me and told me what happened. We started looking in all the spots she might be, and I knew Rose comes here often enough. I'm not surprised you were the one to find her first. I definitely am going to give you another examination tonight."
Scorpius glanced between the two women, Lily giving him a rather convincing besotted look, and Rose giving an incredulous stare.
"Well," Scorpius swallowed, and calmed steadied himself before letting out the most stupid lie of his life.
"As you can see... Lily and I... We're involved."
"Involved," Rose repeated flatly.
"Wait a moment," Lily said before giving him a swat. "You haven't told her yet?"
"No," he said coming back to speed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Rose. It just sort of ... happened."
"A few months ago, actually," Lily added. Albus was right. Lily was an incredibly adept liar, and continued to play her role perfectly. "With all the wedding plans he didn't want to distract from you and Brad, but I thought he must have told you by now."
Rose shook her head.
"No... No he didn't tell me a thing."
"We ok?" Scorpius asked, trying to look her in the eye.
She hesitated, then gave them a smile, never looking him in the eye.
"It's fine," she said. "Really, it is. There isn't always a time to say those kinds of things the way you want to. I guess that explains your taking her fashion advice."
"I'm glad you feel that way," Lily said breezily. "On another note, Brad is worried– and we need to do some tests on Scorpius to see what he's allergic to. Why don't you go back to your apartment and then we can figure out your flower arrangement?"
"Why don't we meet at your place, then Floo him, Lily?" Rose supplied. "We could apparate there right now, in fact. You've been to her place before, right Scorpius?"
Scorpius dumbly nodded. He had never been to Lily's home. He didn't even know if it was in London. Lily gave him a panicked look.
"Are you sure you want to come directly with us? Don't you want some alone time with Brad?" Lily asked.
"It's ok," Rose said, looking between Scorpius and Lily. "You two don't want alone time do you?"
Scorpius and Lily exchanged awkward glances.
"No no! There will plenty of time for us to be alone again when you're on your honeymoon," Lily supplied quickly. "But, uh, why don't you go ahead, and we'll meet you there. I have something private to tell him."
Rose made one of her faces. "Right... Well, see you there in a minute, then."
As she walked away, Lily gave her a little wave. Her other hand snaked into Scorpius' back pocket and gave it a squeeze that made him jump from her.
They could distantly hear Rose's apparation.
"Oh, God! She's going to my apartment! Why did you say you had been to my apartment?"
"I couldn't very well say I hadn't been to my girlfriend's place, could I?"
"Yes! Yes you could have! You won't know where any of my shit is, which will be a dead giveaway! Rose isn't stupid, remember?" Lily spat, clearly aggravated. "Are you sure you're a Slytherin? Because you are pathetic at this whole 'plotting' thing."
"I'm sorry, it's a bit hard to concentrate when your tongue is exploring my esophagus and your hand keeps grabbing my bum. Overkill much?".
"Ok, so I was a bit demonstrative. I'll try to hold back from making her jealous," Lily growled. "God, this is awkward as fuck."
"I agree with your sentiment," Scorpius said, giving her a look of distaste.
Lily rolled her eyes. "I could never date anyone so stuck up."
"Next time warn me before you touch me with that filthy mouth of yours," he said, leading the way to the Apparition point.
"Don't make me get those bouquets from the wedding, Asthma Boy!"
"Perhaps we can stick more to witty banter instead of wagging tongues, if you think you can manage."
"Fine. No more unexpected wagging-tongues. She'll get so jealous that you're arguing with me, instead of her, she'll dump Brad immediately," she said dryly.
"Well, at least warn me a bit. It befuddles the mind," he said. "And I need it to stay sharp for all the 'plotting' I'm so pathetic at."
"Let's just Apparate," she said holding his arm a bit too firmly.
Scorpius felt a squeeze around his chest. He hoped it was just due to the side-along apparition, and not nerves at having begun a farce that meant continually lying to his best and oldest friend.
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