#stinkface short takes

[stinkfacestories]

No Exit

You thought everyone on the team has left for the field to practice and you could use the bathroom in peace. When you stepped out of the stall however, there he was: Kirk Rogers. "Assume the position" he said. You knew what was coming, there was no reason to fight it. You got into a three point stance. He turned and backed his ass so close to your face that you could taste his body odor. He cocked his leg to the side and let rip a class 4 multi stage beefer. "Ah. Taste the onions" he slid by you into the stall, door wide open and not making any indication he was going to close it. "Don't you dare leave yet. I want you to hear and smell everything".

So much for an easy exit.

#stinkface #farting #face farting #bathroom #alpha jock #photo captions #stinkface short takes

[mayhemproduces]

War Chamber - Part 3

As soon as the light shines on VIOLET’s pod, she’s practically banging on her door, wanting to be let out, not wanting to waste anymore time. VIOLET charges right out of her pod and her first move is to immediately try and cover Wes Barkley, trying to score an elimination!

1….2… Kickout!

Wes out at two, VIOLET doesn’t waste any time in trying Atticus instead!

1….2… Kickout!

Atticus kicks out as well, but VIOLET tries her hand with Syn instead!

1….2… Kickout!

Syn out as well! All three men who took that nasty fall remain in the match! VIOLET, knowing she has the biggest target on her back in this match besides the champion, with MJF’s $25,000 bounty hanging over her head, knowing her odds go up drastically the less people are in this match. VIOLET starts climbing up onto the top rope, looking like she’s gonna go for a big dive on Syn to try and take him out, when Atticus gets back to his feet and tries to cut VIOLET off by climbing up onto the second rope, but VIOLET catches him with a kick, before leaping off the top, Matrixing around Atticus, and landing a huge sunset flip powerbomb on Atticus, dropping Atticus down onto Syn! Syn clutches his chest as the full weight of Atticus Cogar is slammed right down onto his chest, almost certainly damaging his previously broken ribs. Syn rolls for the corner, and Atticus rolls out of the ring, onto the steel grate. VIOLET gets out of the ring and heads back over to her pod, going for a black duffle bag she was keeping in her glass pod. VIOLET tosses the bag back into the ring, but before she can go after what she’d just tosses into the ring, she’s accosted by Wes Barkley, who catches her with a chop to the chest. VIOLET shouts in Barkley’s face in response, before laying into him with several forearms in response! Wes is stunned, and VIOLET, using the cage to her advantage, leaps up onto the chain link, wraps her legs around Wes’ head, and drives Wes into the chain link face first with a Deadly Nightshade! Wes Barkley’s head driven into the cage! 

VIOLET gets back into the ring, and goes for her black duffle bag, releaving…

A pair of booty shorts with barbed wire stapled to the ass of them. 

A unique weapon to say the least, and something VIOLET is apparently going to put to use right now as she slips them on over her gear, before turning to Syn, sitting in the corner, still recovering from having Atticus Cogar dropped on him. VIOLET charges him and crashes into Syn with a hip attack, before sitting right down on Syn’s face, initiating probably the only Stinkface in wrestling history that actually served some sort of offensive purpose, driving the barbed wire right into Syn’s face and rubbing it in, running the barbs right across Syn’s bare flesh! VIOLET gets off of him, and tears the shorts off, leaving Syn in a crimson mask as the barbed wire tore at his skin and opened him right up. VIOLET takes a moment to wink for the hard cam, playing into being a homicidal little maniac, but as she turns around, VIOLET eats a chair to the face, as Syn apparently took acception to being made to bleed his own blood! The chair bounces off VIOLET’s skull, and knocks her down, and Syn grabs a handful of hair, throwing VIOLET to the outside, causing a rather hard landing right on the steel. Syn then grabs a light tube on his way out of the ring, and grabs VIOLET, pinning her right up against the cage, showing her off to our fans here in LA, before breaking the light tube in half, and then driving the jagged end of the glass tube right into VIOLET’s forehead! VIOLET screams in agony as blood begins to run down her face, a little tit for tat from the Poisoned Prince. Syn then drags VIOLET over to the door of the pod previously occupied by Wes Barkley, grabs the door, and slams the door of the pod into VIOLET! VIOLET goes down, clutching her chest in agony. Syn then turns to find Atticus Cogar, and takes the half glass light tube in his hand, and smashes it against Cogar, before grabbing Cogar and throwing him into the cage! Cogar stumbles back, and Syn tries to drop him with a lariat, but Cogar ducks it, runs past Syn, jumps onto the ropes, and launches himself back at Syn, taking Syn down onto the steel with an Asai Moonsault! Syn takes a hard fall down onto the steel, and Atticus is already trying to pick him back up, only for his attention to be drawn away by Wes Barkley climbing to the top rope, setting his feet, and leaping off, taking down both Syn and Atticus Cogar with a huge diving crossbody! 

The boys are down, struggling to get back to their feet, as VIOLET, not to be outdone by the boys, starts climbing up to the top as well. VIOLET sets her feet as Syn, Wes, and Cogar get up, before leaping off, and pulling off a crazy looking twisint moonsault, taking out everyone in the match! All four competitors crash down to the steel! And once again, as the timer begins, all the competitors are down, meaning whoever comes in next, Lawlor or Lilith, is about to have a pretty big advantage! 

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…

[gayidungeon]

Gronksgiving

You are at Thanksgiving dinner at your uncle Rob Gronkowski house, the football player for the New England Patriots. Everyone has left leaving you two alone to clean up. You have been doing this every year since you were little and it is always a good time.

Rob tossed a football in the air. His stomach hangs out. He ate so much. Your mom would be proud of what you did today.

"Hey, you can do better than that." You say as he throws another one.

He looks down and smiles. "Yeah, I know." As he pretends to fumble the ball and you fake out a catch. He looks surprised and smiles as you drop it. "Oh whoops, I guess it was a fumble after all!"

Gronk grins. "Hey come here, let me hike it to you" he says. He gets into a three point stance waiting for you to get behind him.

You get behind him and get into position; your head right infront of his massive ass. You know what he's planning, he does it every year to you. You let him though because he ways find it hilarious.

"Red 52, red 52" he says.

"Down. Set.." instead of saying hike, he shifts and rips a massive fart in your face. You always know when it's going to be bad one when he has a goofy grin while he does it. It burns your eyes and you fall on the ground choking.

"Oh come on, I said I was going to do that!" he laughs as you get up and rush him.

He hugs you tight. "I trick you into that every year."

"Yeah I know."

"How many years has it been now, eight?"

"Yeah. Hey, can we do something else now. Like wrestling."

Rob laughs again. "Sure thing buddy. You're on."

"SWEEEEEEET!"

You both change into your sweats and grab a Soda. Rob heads to his room and grabs the step ladder and stands in the middle of the room. "Ready?"

You love when he does this, it's one of the three favorite things you get to do every year. You nod eagerly and get crazy psyched up as he sets the ladder down.

"Wrestle!"

The wrestling match follows the same pattern it always does. You choke him with the rope, slap his fat stomach and get him in a head lock. He's so much bigger and stronger that he could probably out muscle you into submission but Rob has never taken advantage of that. For some reason he lets you get in these really good holds on him.

"Yep I'm winning" Rob says as he collapses on his sofa.

You tackle him extra hard, punching his shoulder pads as hard as you can. "I think you're losing."

"Nope, I'm still winning" he says through a laugh.

You climb on top of him and start wailing into his stomach as hard as you can. That's one of the other best parts about coming here, is how strong you feel after playing with Rob. Sometimes you think he's part ogre. "Ok, ok stop." He says shielding his face.

You don't stop.

"Stop or I'm going to start farting" Gronk threatens you.

You laugh and continue hitting him. He grabs you hand and flips over pushing all of his weight on top of you as you hit the ground hard.

"See I told you I was going to win" Rob says in between laughing.

You look up at him. "Only because you cheated."

"I did not!"

"You broke the rules, no cheating!" You smack his belly. It jiggles like the moon in the water.

"Ooooooh you're going to pay for that." Rob says as he mimics tearing off your arms and beating you with them.

"No, I think your punishment should be a stinkface" Rob says. You know what that is. It's one of the worst things ever.

"You got to be kidding me." You beg as he sits on your chest.

"Nope."

As you try and fail to push him off he grabs your wrists and puts them behind your back. You feel your arm wiggle around as his massive butt thrusts into your face. "Stop, please stop." You whimper as your nose is hit by a wall of awful.

"You can always give up" he laughs.

You try and fail to get him off you as he sits on your nose. You're crying, tears flying everywhere and dripping off his cheeks. You'd laugh if you weren't crying for real.

"And here it comes" Rob flexes as he starts farting in your face.

"NO STOP!" you yell as he flexes his butt muscles one last time and holds the pose. Mucus flies out of your nose and into your mouth, it tastes awful.

"Go on. Say you love uncle gronk's farts"

You push and struggle but you can't get him off of you. Your face is soaked in tears, snot and nasty gas as Rob laughs at your misery. Eventually you give in and whisper it. "I love uncle gronk's farts."

He finally gets up and lets you go. You let out a yell as the tears keep coming and you lay on the ground hopeless.

"I think that's the most fun I've ever had" He says as he pulls his shorts back up and waddles over to you. You wince as he picks you up easily. He sits down on the sofa and you sit in his lap as he puts his arm around you. You bury your head in his fat chest as the tears finally stop. The smell is still there, but it's fading slowly. He gently pushes your head back so he can look at you.

"Thought we were done with that." He laughs as he pats your head softly.

"Sorry, I just get emotional sometimes." You explain as you wipe your nose on his sleeve.

"It's OK, but I got a question. Why in the hell did you pick me?"

"What do you mean? You're the only option besides my parents." You say confused.

"Yeah but I'm a weirdo and you know it."

You pause for a moment as you try and think of an answer. "The truth?"

"Of course.

"You're the closest thing to a father I have. I know you're weird and all but I like it. You take care of me and stuff when you're not being a jerk."

"I thought you hated me because of all the farting." Gronk says.

"Yeah sometimes you're horrible, but I know deep down you're a nice guy. I'll put up with your stupid shenanigans because despite it all I think you care." You pat his belly. It's not as hard as a few months ago, you know it won't be long before he gets back to his regular flabby self.

"I had no idea." He says as he hugs you closer.

You wince as feel his sweaty belly fat against you. It's gross and smelly but right now it feels warm and welcoming.

"I love you too buddy" He whispers in your ear as you bury deeper into his embrace.

You hear him fart into the couch cushions. "Well you asked for it" he laughs as you laugh to yourself thinking about how crazy your life is.

"Well as long as it's not in my face" you say to him.

"That'sif you're lucky kid".

"What do you mean?"

"I love farting on faces." Gronk says. "I love seeing the looks of shame and horror on their faces."

You sit up as he laughs. "Well it's an acquired taste."

"Haha kid you'll get there soon enough". You lean back and snuggle into his belly again. "I love you Gronk, I really do."

His stubbly chin rubs against your forehead as he chuckles out loud.

[hazyheel]

G1 Supercard Review

First match of the night was the Honor Rumble, starting with Kenny King and Minoru Suzuki. Just gonna run through some of the fun spots, such as the tag teams teaming up. Taguchi had a moment where he directed Rocky Romero’s corner clotheslines, eventually leading almost all members of the match to hit BUSHI in the corner. Jushin Thunder Liger got a huge pop, entering and eliminating Brawler Milonas with Shoteis. Colt Cabana took Yano’s spot in the match, in a heartwarming moment. King Haku made a big return, got a decent pop. Haku was beating down Cabana, so Yano ran into the match to help him out. And at #30, the Great Muta made a huge return. Yano accidentally nailed Cabana with the corner pad, leading to them both being eliminated. Ishii and Suzuki renewed their rivalry, leading to Suzuki’s elimination. The two finalists were Jushin Thunder Liger and The Great Muta. They had a nice little match, before Kenny King, who had not been eliminated, threw them both out and won the match. King got misted for his deceit, but still won the match.

Grade D+. Just a weirdly rushed Royal Rumble rip off. Really not into this. It wasn’t very smooth, there wasn’t much story to it, and even though it was for a world title shot, I just couldn’t care. Still, nice to see Muta wrestle again. He kinda still had it.

And in the first actual match of the night, Will Ospreay took on Jeff Cobb, in a winner take all match for the NEVER Openweight Championship and the ROH World Television. They started out fast and furious, with Cobb hitting a huge European uppercut to start the match. Cobb even hit an awesome delayed superplex for a near fall, showing incredible core strength and balance from Ospreay. Ospreay went for his flip off the chest, but Cobb countered with a huge lariat. Ospreay went for the os cutter, but Cobb caught him and threw him into the corner, only for Ospreay to land on the middle rope and hit the os cutter anyway, for an awesome near fall. Ospreay tried to hit the stormbreaker off the top, but Cobb countered with a super tour of the islands, then hitting a normal tour of the islands for the win.

Grade: A-. Great match. They had awesome chemistry, and hit some awesome moves on each other. I don’t know why I thought that Ospreay would end Cobb’s undeafeated streak, but I was happy to be wrong. Really great match, and I am looking forward to seeing how long Cobb is a double champion. Definitely a match worth watching as their counters were actually awesome.

Next up, a special singles match between Rush and Dalton Castle. This match was over in seconds, as Rush nailed three huge corner dropkicks and got the win. After the match, Castle was so pissed about his loss, and pissed at the boys for trying to cheer him up, he attacked them with a gutwrench suplex and a bangarang, turning heel. I am not going to grade this match, but it was pretty awesome to see.

Then we had a woman of honor championship match, pitting Mayu Iwatani against Kelly Klein. Before the match, Klein sent away camp klein, opting to fight the match fairly. The two had technical exchanges, with Klein coming away with the advantage during mat wrestling. But as Klein got too comfortable, Iwantani locked in a sleeper hold, nearly able to get the win off of that. Kelly Klein got the win after two K powers. At the end of the match, Velvet sky and Angelina Love came down to the ring. As the women distracted her, Mandy Leon attacked, laying out Klein and several other women of honor. They drew the anarchy symbol on her head, and walked out. New stable in the women of honor division.

Grade: D. Just a bad match. I liked the story of Klein showing that she has become a better person, but other than that this was a boring match that was kinda awkward. I didn’t really care for the post match antics either, just becuase it wasn’t particularly good. But they did hit some cool moves, it just wasn’t awesome.

Mega Ran did a rap. Yay, but thankfully Bully Ray came out to interrupt. He was given a big babyface reaction because they all hated Mega Ran. He drove Mega Ran out of the ring, and confessed attacking Juice Robinson.  He said that the challenge was still open, and Flip Gordon answered the call. Back from injury, he got a huge reaction. He quickly started out with a superkick, and a springboard spear. It didn’t take long for Bully to get the table, and for Shane Taylor and Silas Young, but LifeBlood’s Juice Robinson and Mark Haskins came out to save Flip Gordon. They offered to change this to a 3 on 3 match, and came to beat down Bully. Gordan had to take huge kendo stick shots from all of the heels, no selling all of them until his Lifeblood allies came, for a kendo stick fight among all six. The heels fought back, and powerbombed Gordon through a table. In the finish, Bully was hit with a superkick, powerslam, stinkface and a 450 for the win

Grade: C. Perfectly fun soap opera bullshit. It was a lot of hard core stuff, but nothing too crazy. Awesome to see Flip Gordon back, and doing his thang, happy to see Silas Young and Lifeblood, just fun. Not the best hardcore match ever, but it was fine for what it was.

Into the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship match, Taiji Ishimori took on both Dragon Lee and Bandido. Lee quickly picked up the pace with a slingshot hurricanrana to Bandido, only for Ishimori to hit a huge moonsault. Lee was really beating the shit out both of his opponents, with shots that were as stiff as they come. They just kept hitting crazy flying moves, mexican destroyers, hurricanranas and ddts. Ishimori hit Lee with the Bloody Cross for a near fall. Bandido hit both men with a moonsault powerslam, which the commentators accurately said wasn’t a real move. Lee was able to get the win after hitting a knee lift to Ishimori and some sort of vertical powerslam to Bandido.

Grade: B+. Flippy flippy flippy match. These guys flew all over the place, with awesome and dangerous moves. It was surprisingly short, but still quite fun. Dragon Lee winning the belt makes me think that Hiromu Takahashi will be back for the Best of the Super Juniors. Happy to see Lee have the belt, he really deserves it. And although I think Ishimori’s reign ended a bit short, I think that it ended at the perfect time for the story of Takahashi vs. Lee to continue. Hope to see that soon.

Into the tag team championships match, the Guerillas of Destiny vs. Villain Enterprises vs. The Briscoes vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon. PCO had to be revived in his entrance, but it looked pretty cool. They started out with a wild brawl, and there didn’t even seem to be rules in this match. The Briscoes seemed to be working together super well, destroying their opponents with chairs. Sanada and Evil hit awesome tag team offense, with huge kicks and such. PCO hit a huge moonsault for a big near fall. Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa gave PCO a huge powerbomb out of the ring, to the floor, with no protection, it looked horrendous, but he sat up afterwards, so I think he is okay. In the finish, Jado got involved, smacking Brody King with a Kendo Stick, allowing Tama Tonga to hit a gunstun, and then a superpowerbomb from Tonga Loa for the win. However, as they went to grab the belts, Toru Yano had stolen them, and looked to run away with them. 

Grade: A-. Wild match right from the start. There were crazy bumps, crazy spots, non stop action, and I couldn’t look away. It was a lot crazier that I had thought it would be, but it was still awesome. Briscoes had some awesome hardcore spots, Brody King and PCO did some crazy stuff, Evil and Sanada kept ahold of their classic wrestling style, while Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa kept their heads down, interfered when they needed to, and came away with the win. Fun, car wreck of a match.

Next up was a singles match between Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi for the British Heavyweight Championship. The two exchanged technical holds, with Sabre not commiting too hard in the beginning of the match. Sabre continued to play mind games throughout the match, working over Tanahashi’s arm. When tanahashi couldn’t skin the cat, Sabre realized that he needs to target that limb and began to destroy it. Sabre did his best to counter Tanahashi’s submissions, but Tanahashi was able to keep outwrestling Sabre. However, when Tanahashi went up for the high fly flow, Sabre quickly ran to the top rope to stop it. Sabre seemed to have the advantage during striking contests, but not in technical wrestling, oddly enough. Tanahashi began to psych himself up, hitting several twist and shouts and slingblades. However, Sabre was able to outlast Tanahashi, locking in his submission that has a super long name and getting the verbal submission.

Grade: B. A bit slower than the matches that these two normally, but still quite good. I liked the story of Tanahashi actually being able to best Sabre, but sabre just outlasted him. He was younger, had better conditioning, and knew that he could outlast the Ace. Good stuff, but far from their best match.

And then we had the Intercontinental Championship match, Kota Ibushi vs. Tetsuya Naito. They started with the quick strikes right off the bat, targetting each other’s necks as these two so often do. It didn’t take long before they started busting out the big moves, with ibushi hitting a hurricanrana off the apron, and then hitting a springboard double stomp for a near fall. Ibushi hit his second rope german, Naito hit a spike hurricanrana off the top rope. The two battled for the opportunity to hit a package piledriver on each other, with Naito eventually getting the honors. The two began to exchange forearms, kicks and palm strikes. Naito then hit a huge reverserana into a destino, but Ibushi actually kicked out. Ibushi then nailed a bomboye to the back of the head, and then to the face for a near fall. He then hit a last ride for a near fall, before picking him up for a Kamegoye and the win. 

Grade: A. As awesome as ever, these guys can do no wrong. They hit each other as hard as they could, they threw each other onto their necks, and the whole thing was just so so scary. Awesome to see Ibushi finally getting a long term title reign, unlike his run with the Openweight Belt. He will probably hold it for a couple months, hopefully into the G1 Classic, but I am just happy that he won here.

Now into the ROH main event, Jay Lethal vs. Marty Scurll vs. Matt Taven, for the ROH World Championship, in a ladder match. The men didn’t take long to start throwing ladders at each other. At one point, Scurll trapped Lethal’s head in a ladder, before hitting the latter with a chair. Scurll even attempted to grab the belt by climbing a shorter ladder and grabbing it with his umbrella. Throughout the match, Scurll injured his knee after being stuck in a figure four in a ladder. Taven hit a huge powerbomb to lethal through a ladder suspended between two chairs. Taven and Scurll faced off in the middle of the ring, with Scurll attempting to hit all his offense, but Taven kept playing spoiler to that, drawing chants of fuck you taven. Scurll hit a huge superplex to take out Taven. Lethal was about to win the match, but Scurll locked in the chicken wing and threw him off the top. Taven and Scurll then battled at the top, only for Scurll to break Taven’s fingers, before getting punched off. Taven had it won, but his fingers hurt too much and he fell off. Lethal was able to land a lethal injection on Scurll, but did not have a ladder to capitalize. Scurll took a lot of punishment, as Taven delivered a huge spear through the ropes and through a table. At one point, Lethal went up to the top of a huge ladder to hit the biggest elbow drop ever on Taven, through a table. At one point, Taven introduced a huge, purple ladder, with ladders suspended between lower rungs and the ropes of both sides. Scurll got taken out after Taven swept his leg, and he tumbled out of the ring. Lethal and Taven battled atop the ladder, and Taven smacked lethal with the belt, sending him down through the ladder. Taven then grabbed the title, the new ROH World Champion.

Grade: A. This was a great match. They destroyed themselves with ladder shots, and falling from huge heights. These guys will be sore tomorrow, and they put on a hell of a match. Scurll probably took the most sickening bumps, but everyone did some terrifying stuff. I didn’t expect this match to be as good as it was, but I was pleasantly surprised. Bummed that Scurll didn’t win, but Taven really does deserve it. Congratulations Taven, you deserved it. Surprisingly enough, this was probably the match of the night for me.

And the main event for New Japan, Kazuchika Okada vs. Jay White for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. White started playing mindgames immediately, but Okada played them right back. Every time Okada seemed to be gaining the advantage, Gedo got involved to keep White in the lead. It got to the point where, after booting Jay White over the barricade, Okada threw Gedo in after him, before hitting a huge splash to the both of them. White desperately tried to counter Okada’s signature moves, but even when he did, Okada would manage to hit them anyway. Okada was hitting his dropkicks as hard as he ever has, nailing one in the face and one in the chest. At one point, White hit a huge Saito suplex out of the ring, onto the apron. Jay did everything he could to make sure that he doesn’t get hit by the Rainmaker, at one point just sitting down to avoid it, and another time reversing into a sleeper suplex. Okada nailed a spinning rainmaker, into another Rainmaker for a great near fall. Jay hit the blade runner, but did not make the pin due to his exhaustion. As Okada was about to get the win again, but Gedo distracted the ref and White hit a low blow. They had a series of counters, before Okada hit two rainmakers, a jumping tombstone, and then one more rainmaker for the win.

Grade: A-. Really great match. They played on all the apsects of their rivalry over the past few months, like Gedo’s betrayal, the reversal of the rainmaker into Bladerunner, and Okada’s need to go super overkill to put down white. The action was fast and intense, and although I thought it would be better if White retained, it does feel good to see the belt back on Okada.

Overall Grade: B+

Pros: Cobb vs. Ospreay; junior heavyweight championship; tag championship; british championship; intercontinental championship; ladder match; main event

Cons: honor rumble; Dalton Castle heel turn :( ;women of honor match; mega ran

#hazyheel #roh #roh review #njpw review #njpw #new japan #new japan review #new japan pro wrestling review #new japan pro wrestling #ring of honor #ring of honor review #njpw world #g1 supercard #g1 supercard review

[eddycurrents]

BPRD: 1947 - Chapter Five

Story: Mike Mignola & Joshua Dysart | Art: Gabriel Bá & Fabio Moon   | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in BPRD: 1947 #5 | November 2009

Collected in BPRD - Volume 13: 1947 | BPRD: 1946 - 1948

Plot Summary:

Bruttenholm enlists the aid of his family’s old friend and priest, Ota Benga, to cleanse the spirit and perform an exorcism on Anders.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issue or collections.)

pg. 1 - Nice establishing shot for the base.

pg. 2 - I find it interesting, you don’t notice that he’s not wearing a collar in this introduction, but with the black suit, I instantly thought “priest” when they reveal Ota Benga. It’s interesting how certain clothes can just give than impression, even without the typical trappings of office.

pg. 3 - Hellboy and Mac just watching from the periphery is one hell of a mood.

pg. 4 - Also an important message not to diminish what you have. I think humility is important, such that you don’t become too full of yourself, but not to lessen what you’ve accomplished. Though, it is sad that he dismisses seeing Hellboy out of hand.

pg. 6 - Anders looks like he’s been used as a chew toy. Also, Ota seeing right through Margaret and Jacob with their motivations and feelings is impressive.

pg. 7 - I get where Jacob is coming from, but this is the kind of funny hubris that more or less got the soldiers into their predicament. An assumption that they could handle whatever was coming at them, without being properly prepared. Assuming they could take on the vampire threat due to their military experience.

pg. 9 - Gorgeous work here from Bá, Moon, and Stewart. I love that everything essentially in Anders’ mind/soul/whatever you want to call this place as Ota arrives is in shadow, with dark blues and purples, faces obscured. It adds a wonderful ominous feel to the entire thing.

pg. 10 - And then the explosion of light from Ota’s flaming sword. It’s also interesting here as it becomes apparent that Ota is not principally a Christian priest, as he asks for protection from Durga, Marduk, and Indra.

pg. 12 - Poor Hellboy just wants to play catch. Also, love the sisters’ reaction to Ota’s adjurations and admonitions.

pg. 14 - It’s sad to see Jacob’s reaction, still not understanding what’s going on with Ota and Simon. Also in his blaming Bruttenholm for their situation. While the Professor definitely does shoulder some of the fault, the soldiers going off half-cocked also contributed. This sets a seed of conflict that should be interesting if followed up on.

pg. 15-16 - Sad that the sisters can’t be completely exorcised from Simon. Although, it’s also very interesting in Hellboy’s spiritual structure that vampires can possess a human much like a demon, even when those vampires’ physical bodies are dead. It makes you wonder what exactly vampires are in this world.

Also, the final panel on pg. 16 is terrifying.

pg. 17 - Though not how I’d draw it, or how you’d usually see it printed, this sigil looks a lot like the Hebrew letter Cheth (or Het, Heth, ח) to me. Which makes a certain amount of sense meaning “fence” or “enclosure”.

pg. 18 - Jacob’s lack of faith is disturbing.

pg. 19 - Interesting that Varvara is still there. Also giving Ota serious stinkface.

pg. 20 - Explaining Simon’s condition as a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off at an indeterminate time, sets up tons of possibilities for the future.

pg. 21 - I love all of the knick-knacks and relics around. Each could potentially be its own story. 

Also, Ota’s explanation of faith, of its many incarnations, essentially boiling down to one face, one truth, is interesting. Definitely a more holistic view of monotheism, though kind of fitting with some of the ideas of incarnations you’ll see in Eastern religions. Or even sometimes when you interpret everything within a hermetic conception of Qabalah or Yoga.

pg. 22 - No to killing young Hellboy.

pg. 23 - Good to see the other members of the team bonding, though it does essentially leave Bruttenholm out.

pg. 24 - Better to see him playing catch with Hellboy. There’s an optimism to it, and nurturing the better aspects of Hellboy’s nature, just approaching him like a little kid.

Final Thoughts:

I a long view perspective, I love the growth that’s being seeded in these historical tales, expanding the recurring characters, building up young Hellboy, and deepening Bruttenholm’s past even before the Bureau. Though I appreciate the brief nature of the “yearly” BPRD (and subsequent Hellboy and the BPRD) series, telling more or less a succinct tale (in the beginning at least, later years often throw in one-shots and short stories), I’ve always felt like the history could support more events and a greater ongoing nature. Just like how even more of Bruttenholm’s story is opened up to explore, without even touching on the encounters he had with the Heliopic Brotherhood of Ra and such. It’s like a goldmine of potential, even now.

d. emerson eddy is not a goldmine of potential. More like a bucket of pyrite.

#Give 'em Hellboy #Hellboy #BPRD #1947 #Mike Mignola #Joshua Dysart #Gabriel Bá #Fabio Moon #RaisingHellboy #131

[ambreignsfans]

Roman Reigns rolls with the Falcons, wants Romo for the 49ers and doesn’t mind if you boo him (The Undefeated)

The WWE superstar talks crowd reception, beef with John Cena and those dad jeans

Love him or hate him — and some really hate him — Roman Reigns is one of the top performers in the high-flying, death-defying world of WWE. Reigns, whose real name is Leati Joseph Anoa’i, signed with the professional wrestling juggernaut in 2010 and has risen to the top of the card in a very short time.

Since he debuted on television in 2012, Reigns has beaten down some of the industry’s most prominent names in wrestling — Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, Triple H, John Cena and even his cousin, The Rock. Reigns, 31, is a former U.S. champion, tag team champion, and three-time WWE heavyweight champion. For nearly two years, he was a part of one of the most popular and era-defining stables in wrestling, The Shield. Alongside fellow young superstars Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose, the trio ran roughshod over the entire company, gaining the adoration and respect of millions along the way. He won the 2015 Royal Rumble and has been the headliner for the past two WrestleManias, the company’s largest promotional event each year.

Before signing with WWE, Reigns was a three-year defensive starter on the football team at Georgia Tech, nabbing All-ACC honors in his senior season alongside future Hall of Fame wide receiver Calvin Johnson. He later signed free-agent contracts with the Jacksonville Jaguars and Minnesota Vikings in 2007 before turning his attention to professional wrestling.

What’s helped accelerate his ascent in WWE has been a mixture of a revered family tree, unparalleled athleticism and Hollywood leading-man good looks. The half-Samoan, half-Italian Florida native favors Justice League’s Jason Momoa and is built like an NBA small forward. With the strength to easily lift up 400-pound men like Big Show and the verticality to clear 5-foot-high ring ropes in a single bound. Most of his abilities, though, can be chalked up to genetics: Reigns comes from a respected Samoan wrestling heritage that includes ersatz Japanese sumo wrestler Yokozuna, master-of-the-stinkface Rikishiand box-office magnet Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. While Reigns was one of the hottest commodities the WWE had in the early months of 2014, his popularity has nosedived over the past 2 1/2 years. He’s loathed by hard-core male fans who believe Reigns is being force-fed to the audience by WWE chairman and CEO Vince McMahon and executive vice president Paul “Triple H” Levesque. Crowds have booed Reigns out of almost every arena across the country. That has not stopped Reigns, though, as he’s set to compete for the Universal championship on Sunday at the Royal Rumble pay-per-view in San Antonio, looking to become just the third competitor to ever hold that championship belt.

tweets: @wweromanreigns

Super Bowl pick?

A-T-L. I played at Georgia Tech, so I’ve got to stick with Atlanta.

Favorite team that always disappoints you?

[San Francisco] 49ers. I’m a 49ers fan and a [Los Angeles] Lakers fan, so it’s been a hellacious year. Nothing good so far.

Who do you see as the quarterback next year for San Francisco?

Oh, man. Let’s get [Tony] Romo. Why not? I don’t even know if we can get him.

Favorite throwback TV show?

I was huge on [ABC’s] TGIF: Family Matters, Boy Meets World, all those. Saved by the Bell, that’s up there, too. My [kid is] still watching Saved by the Bell. My kid actually watches Full House still.

She watches it on Netflix?

Yeah, well, they actually have a Fuller House, and D.J., one of the little girls, is the main character now. What’s old is new, I guess, right?

Who’s the most famous person following you on Twitter?

There’s a couple of porn stars that follow. I don’t know if we can use that. I don’t follow anyone. There’s no line of communication from me. [Minutes later.]

Mr. Belding [from Saved by the Bell] is following me. I don’t think he’s the most famous, but he’s the one I have off the top of my head.

Is it better to look perfect and late, or just OK and on time?

I’ll be late. Island time, man. If I have a flaw, it’s not being on time. Sometimes. If it’s very important, and it’s a hard call time, then you’ve got to be there. But if it’s just a standard day, then I’ll probably be an hour and a half late. So, I’m not the most punctual, but I show up looking pretty good, though.

How do you handle all the ladies’ attention?

I ignore it. It’s weird because it came out of nowhere. When I played football, I was a little bit heavier, so I was a ham. With this role, I’ve lost my weight. I’m a married man. I love my wife and I love my [daughter]. That’s the most important thing. It’s flattering to have women who are attracted to you and like what you do, but at the end of the day, it only takes one woman to make your life right.

Who has the best spear in professional wrestling?

Me, no doubt. You can’t ask me that.

Who’s second?

I’d have to say Goldberg.

What type of injuries have you had to perform through?

All kinds of little stuff. That’s one thing in our profession: Nobody’s healthy. Everybody’s nicked up, everybody’s got bruises and little tears. For the past couple of years, my knees have been a little banged up. It’s tough running in that ring, because it bounces. It’s not like running on a nice grass turf or anything. Every once in a while my elbows will swell up. If you ever meet a healthy wrestler, it’s because he’s not wrestling.

What’s with those dad jeans?

Those things were expensive, man. I got them in Las Vegas. I’m not a jean guy; I actually just started wearing them more often now, [and] they’re definitely not those jeans. Those were, like, my first pair of jeans I ever bought that were supposed to be fashionable, and I was like, ‘What the heck? These are supposed to be cool jeans.’ They’re stretchy a little bit and they had all sorts of cool bedazzles and stuff on the butt. I was like, ‘Man, these are going to be a hit.’ Next thing I know, they’re on the internet making fun of it, and I was like, ‘Man, I wasted almost $250 on these things … This sucks.’

You recently got into a war of words with John Cena on Twitter. What are your thoughts on him?

In real life, he’s a nice guy … but it is what it is. He’s an alpha male, I’m an alpha male. We’re both kind of in the same territory, so we’re going to bump heads. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to dominate and hold it down for me and my family. I’ll do whatever it takes to do that, and I’m not going to let anybody — and that includes John Cena — get in my way.

#roman reigns #the undefeated #interview

[stinkfacestories]

The Gas Tax

Sorry pledgie, you know the rules. If you want in the game room you gotta pay the fart tax. Unfortunately for you because of inflation your gonna have to take six instead of one. Don't like that? We'll for talking back it's doubled to six. Now bury your face before I double it again

#stinkface stories #stinkface short takes #college #fart tax

[stinkfacestories]

Rugby Buddies

Your rugby buddy had too much to drink and you were carrying him back to your flat for the tenth time this month. He leaned in over your shoulder. "Just let me do it once, you like it. I wanna relive my highschool days where id pin guys down and fart in their faces. Come on mate, you might like it after a few beefers" Little could he remember that you said yes the last 9 times, and you considered it payment for hauling his drunk ass home every night

#stinkface! #farting #stinkface #face farting #stinkface stories #stinkface short takes #rugbymen #rugby #photo captions

[stinkfacestories]

Two Finger Tyler

"Do it bro." He was called two finger Tyler. When you asked him why he pointed his two fingers at you. "I'm gonna need you to pull both of them because I got so much gas in me one finger won't do." Not wanting to be rude you pulled both. He dropped his guts and the whole locker room shook. The wet hot miasma filled the small area. Men—strong men—gagged. Those bending down passed out as they succumb to his gas. Your friend Eddie had been sitting on the bench directly behind Two Finger. His face was pressed back against the locker, his eye twitching, and drooling uncontrollably as his eyes started off into nothing.

"That's why they call me Two Finger Tyler" he fanned the air behind his ass, clueless to the war crime he had just cut.

#Two Finger Tyler #locker room #farting #pull my finger #face farting #toxic gas #stinkface stories #stinkface #stinkface short takes #photo captions

[stinkfacestories]

Stinkface Stories Short Takes: Halfthor Full Gas

I look at this picture and imagine the photo shoot. Halfthor, dressed up with a hammer, he feels powerful. He asks — no demands, that his chair be a living person. He grabs some production assistant and looks down at him. "You are Thor's seat today little man" he says I'm his thick icelandic accent. "I hope you like farts" He's eating something while he does. He's a beast. A machine that turns foot into muscles and farts. He slaps his gut. He sets up, sitting on the guy. His 323lb ass settles over the guys back. He grins to the photographers "wanna see something funny, ya" he shifts to the right and let's put a deep, chunky fart, like an old lawnmower started. It horrified them. They gasp, and co er their mouths. The paint in the room starts to peel.

"it's funny, ya" he says

#stinkface short takes #Halfthor Bjornson #photoshoot #farting #sitting

[stinkfacestories]

Stinkface Stories: Total KnockOut

Featuring: Kevin Owens, Big Show

The service elevator ran the length of the building; from the sub basement to the penthouse and everything in between. The staff used it because it was easier than taking the stairs and the talent used it because it ran directly from the gym to the suites. It wasn’t uncommon for a  PA to be riding up with coffee and contracts to have one or two slick slabs of sweaty wrestler squeeze in headed to change or go run through a routine in the practice ring.

“You can’t,” Big show said. He pressed the button to summon the elevator. He was wearing dark blue sleeveless shirt. He wa quite the imposing sight: giant,bald, big bushy beard.

“Come on, I’m telling ya, I can do it. It will really give me boost you know?” Kevin Owens, though nearly a foot shorter than Big Show, stood next to him also waiting for the elevator, They had been working out together all week. He cut quite the figure too. A little pudgier, just as big a beard. His grey t-shirt emblazoned with the letters ‘K.O’  was near black with sweat.

The elevator opened and a thin looking PA looked up, wide eyed at the two. The other runners had always joked about who would be the worst pair to be forced to ride up with, and out of all the possible combinations, Big Show was always one of the pair. The elevator itself was not nearly as big as the ones in apartment buildings. Two normal sized people would have an uncomfortable ride, let alone a giant, his fat sweaty friend and a 9-5’er.

“Hey there,” Big Show said kindly as he stepped in. The box groaned in protest but the floor held. He turned his back and wedged himself into the opposite corner, though his massive frame still covered half the width. When Owens joined him taking up the other side the PA was pressed practically nose to back with the two. The doors closed as the fourth passenger made their presence known: the hot body odor wafting off the two of them. It filled the compartment like a thick fog. The two wrestlers either didn’t notice, or didn’t care. The PA was barely able to hold his breath.

“Maybe I could just do it once and see how it goes. Then we can make a decision” Owen spoke up, the first to break the silence.

“You can’t finish with a Stinkface, there’s a tradition with it. Unless you wanna quit and do house shows in high schools for the rest of your life, then you gotta follow the rules.”

“What rules? Its sticking your ass in some guys face for fun, what rules can there be?” Owens said.

The PA heard the word ‘ass’ and looked down at the two of them. Two big ones right in front of him. Each were covered in some dark shorts; The Big Show’s were a camo pattern, very tight, almost painted on. His ass was like two monster boulders crashed together. Owens were looser, solid black, athletic--slick and shiny. He was a bit rounder. The globes of his ass were bubbly, jiggling slightly every time the elevator would jostle just a little bit.

“We don’t have time for this man, when the time comes I’tall happen.” Big Show said.

“Time? We need time?” Owens looked at the panel in front of him. He opened a small door revealing a large red lever marked ‘Emergency Only’. He grabbed at it and turned it. Turned it so far and so hard that it broke off in his big thick hands. The elevator jerked and sputtered to a halt, somewhere between the floors.

“Hey man, what the hell did you do that for?” Big show said

“Are we stuck? What happened?” The PA said, trying to see between the two walls of flesh in front of him.

“I figure we have at least an hour before they send people to get us, maybe longer for them to get us out of here. So now we have time for you to tell me just what rules and qualifications I need to finish a match with a Stinkface,” Owens said. He thumped at Big Shows arm, punctuating his point.

“Stinkface?” The PA said.

“Yeah, Stinkface. I want to start using it in my routine. I think my crowds would love it.”

“You couldn't have left me get off before you got of stuck? Can this thing hold you two? Is there enough air?”

“Hey ho, quite up now,” Big Show said. “It’s done now so no use complaining. Having you here will work out fine. We can get some outside perspective on the matter.” He looked down at Owens “So tell me. Why do you think you deserve to do this Stinkface?”

Owens smiled. “Well, look at me man. I think the crowds would love it. I’m like a smaller version of you. Got the big beard, pretty thick. Wouldn't they think it was funny if I sat my big ass on some jobber?”

“Well, you stumbled in the first requirement. You gotta have an ass. I know you can be an ass, but that dont mean that you got one. The crowds don’t want to see just any flat-ass guy pinning someone in the corner. They want to see someone with some real powerful haunches smother a guys face; that’s why Me and ‘Kishi are so good at it. So… do you really have the ass?”

Owens reached back and punched his own ass, the big thing trembled before the smaller PA. “Hell yeah man. I got one. You see this thing? I avoid doing too much work on it because I want it to be big, but I don’t want it to be to hard. Know what I mean?” He peered behind him at the PA. “You got a good view, tell the guy about it.”

“What?”

“Tell Big Show how my ass looks like it would be great to give a stinkface”

“I don’t think Im really the best to ask--”

“Come on now play nice,” Big Show piped up “We might be here a while so just be helpful. Tell the guy if you think his ass is good enough to stinkface a guy.”

The PA looked back at Kevin Owens’ ass. It wasn't something he would want to tangle with.

“I’t looks..good I guess?”

“Come on guy,I need more than that get in there” Big Show said.

Owens obliged and reached back and grabbed the guys hand and put it on his ass. “See,” he said. “Feel how its just the right mix of soft and firm. Plenty of room for a face right?”

“Yeah sure, it’s like sweaty bread dough,” The PA said

“Amature. It’s not the Stinkhand Owens.” Big show shoved Kevin and he went stumbling backwards. Flailing to keep his balance, his ass slammed into the back of the elevator; the poor PA’s face between his cheeks. Owens blubbery cheeks engulfed his face, wrapping from ear to ear. One could only imagine the smell that he must have suffered. It may have only lasted a moment, but when the beefy wrestler leaned forward and looked behind him at what he had done, the PA’s face looked as if it had looked as if it had been wedged in there for an hour. He was in shock. His face was splattered with sweat; as was the wall behind him.

“Well shit,” Big show said. “I was wrong about you K.O. That right there is the sign of a good Stinkface. The look of horror, disbelief.”

“How was it?” Owens asked the PA.

“ Uhg…” He just wiped his face.

“Good? Bad? Come on we need words dude,” Big show said. He leaned down a little “Or do you need another, longer, go to form an opinion?” He raised his eye and gave a grin.

Wet, cold, but also hot. Silent”

“Awesome,” Owens said

“And the smell?”

“Didn't inhale, thank god” The PA said.

“You didn't smell? Your face was buried and you didn’t smell?” Big Show rolled his shoulders and slapped Owens on the shoulder. “He didn’t smell. How are we supposed to judge how good it was if at the end of the day he didn’t take a sniff.”

“Im sure its bad,” The PA said. “This is a pretty small space. You can’t smell it already? It reeks in here.”

Kevin sniffed at his pits. “I smell nothing.”

Big Show sniffed too “Me either. We were in that Gym for along time. Your noses is the only one that knows. So go on smell it and tell me how it is”

“Whoa, Show you sure that’s a good idea?” Owens pipped in. “Trust me when I say that’s a pretty dangerous area back there. Might not be safe to go in and sniffing around.”

“ Ill pass,” The PA said. “I can smell it from here. I give it a 9/10 on the bad scale.”

“Not good enough for me pal,” Big show said. “Who knows what your smelling. Could be me. Only way to go is to get up in there and take a big sniff. Owens assume the position.”

Kevin turned and put his hands against the wall, spreading his legs ever so slightly, like he was preparing to be frisked. His ass was begging for someones face at that point.

“No way. You can just take my word on it.”

Big show grumbled. “Your choice pal: You can either take a big sniff of Owens, or you can be sniffing my ass  from now till the fire department gets here. And my ass don’t play nice.”

Kevin gave a short laugh, his ass jiggling with it “Aint that the truth; take the easy way out guy.”

The PA had no real option. Given the choice between the two asses, he opted for the less violent of the two.  

“Where should I, you know.. Target?”

“Right where the back turns into the ass, if your a chicken-- right in the blast zone if your a real man.”

“Blast zone?” Owen looked over his shoulder at Big Show

“You know,” Big Show blew a raspberry “Blast zone”

Owens laughed “Oh man, I get it. I should get some underwear that says that”

The PA swallowed

“So what’s your choice?” Big Show asked

“What’s the current.. Blast danger I guess?”

“... rising with each passing second bro, so the quicker the better”

The PA leaned in, settling somewhere not quite as high as the back, but a fair share north of the blast zone. He was less than an inch away. He could feel the head radiating on his face.

“Keep that mouth closed,and give it a good 30 seconds. I don't want you cheating and holding your breath”

The rank odor of Owens ass was powerful. It filled the PAs nostrils. It burned. If he were lucky it may have destroyed his sense of smell right then and there and he would be done with it. But nevertheless it kept on stinking.

“When's the last time you took a shower K.O” he asked

“What day is it now?”

“Saturday,” Big Show said

“Easy: Late Friday Night”

The PA took another wiff

“...you mean yesterday?”

Owens counted on his fingers “.. no..I think it was three or so Fridays ago.

“And when did you wash these shorts last?”

“Wash them? These are workout shorts. You don’t wash them. I just shove them in my gym bag.”

Big Show laughed. “So that’s why they call you K.O, everyone who gets a wiff gets knocked out. So how is it dude?”

The PA pulled away “Bad. Salty. Hot. I wish I had been knocked out. My eyes were burning”

Owens gave a thumbs up “Thats two for two. So I can stinkface guys now?”

“Not yet. One final qualification: The gimmick.”

“The gimmick?” Owens said

“Gimmick?” the PA said. “I thought the stinkface was the gimmick.”

“Don’t we wise. Everyone who does the stinkface does their own little twist.”

“Oh yeah,” Owens said. “Like how ‘Kishi hikes up his thong, or does it bare ass?”

“What do you do then?” The Pa asked Big Show.

“I fart.”

The PA groaned and turned away

Owens laughed. “Thats real? I thought that was a joke. You really do that when you give a stinkface?”

“Yeah. Every time.”

“Who does that? Why would you even do that. It’s not like the crowd can tell. Your big but I don’t think you could.. Do that...loud enough for the cameras to pick up” The PA said.

Big Show loomed over the PA, forcing him to one of the corners. He pointed his big finger down at the guy. “First off, if you wanna find out how loud I can fart all you have to do is ask and I’ll be real happy to give you a demonstration. Second it’s not for them. Its for me, and for the tradition.”

The PA groaned again

“I could do that too!” Owens interrupted

“You could?”

“Yeah. I never ripped one in front of you? I swear I must have. Haven't I?”

“Think you could work one up now?”

Kevin scrunched up his big bearded face, grunting a little as he closed one eye. “Yup. There it is. All loaded. I was gonna drop it in my Uber on the ride home but I can drop it here.”

“But were in an Elevator. A tiny, tiny elevator” The PA said. Both Owens and Big Show looked at him like he was speaking some alien language. “So?” they both said

“That’s like the only elevator rule. You don’t do that in an elevator.”

“I do.” Big Show said.

“Same. A lot.” Owens said.

“In fact I dont think Ive ever ridden an elevator without farting in it.” Big Show said.

“Fine. Just.. let me get out of the way.” The PA slide as far in the corner as possible, leaving Kevin on the opposite side.

“This is a stinkface test though. K.Os bringin the stink, you gotta supply the face.”

“What? No way! Not this time” The PA said.

Big Show had enough. He reached out and grabbed the guy by the shoulder, effortlessly sliding him forward. Big Show leaned back against the wall, his arm pinning the smaller man in place.

“Hey let me go!” He said

“You’re free to try, but bigger men than you have failed.”

Owens turned around and began to back up slowly.

“Hey K.O. Why not try out both. Maybe that can be your thing”

“Both?” He said

“Yeah. Drop them draws.”

K.O slid his shorts down. Like the rising sun, his pale ass light up the room. It was glimmering from the sweat. The first thing everyone notices was how hairy it was.

“Damn K.O even your ass has a beard. You ever think about getting that thing waxed?” Big Show said.

“Tried it once, but they said they didn't have enough wax and wanted to charge me three times the regular price.”

Owens backed up even more. Soon the PAs chin was resting on the dark valley that was Owens ass. He backed up even more and he could feel the weight of the two fat globes pressing him into Big Shows gut.

“Come on guys. Show. Big. Big Show. Tell him to call it off. He doesn't want to do this. You can stop him”

“Let’s see: Hey K.O”

“Yeah Big?” Owens looked over his shoulder. Lining up his ass for the best stinkface possible.

“You sure you wanna rip one in this guys face?”

“Sure do Big,” Owens said.

“There, all settled. Go on blast away K.O. Hell I think I might give him one after.

“Come on you can’t do-mpf--”

Big Show pressed the PAs head down so that everything save his eyes were pressed into Kevin’s hairy crack. He was really tasting the musky, sweat soaked forest of hair. Kevin was braced like a centerlinemen, ready to snap the ball.

“Here,” He grunted out. Half of his face was scrunched up. “Comes. The knock Out..Ahh..”  His ass erupted in a deep and vibrating blast. The bassy rip reverberated throughout the elevator, shaking even Big Show to the core. Owens went slack jawed. His mouth open almost drooling on the floor. “ Puuunnnch…...aw man now that Felt great.”

The PA’s eyes rolled back in his head as he was forced to breath in every once. He coughed, but that only forced him to breath in Owens Ass through his mouth. His senses were completely overwhelmed. He could see nothing but Owens hairy ass, smell nothing but his meaty fart, taste the salty hairs of his crack, feel the flapping and giggling of his cheeks on his face, and hear Big Show and Owens laugh.

And it wasn't even over

Owens hoisted up one leg and propped it on the wall behind him. He cocked to one side and let out another, less intense but longer sputtering fart. “It’s like a flood gate. Once you break the seal all the rest just wanna slip out”

The PAs eyes rolled back even further. The sloppy blast had done him in. With one final sniff his body went limp and he passed out.

“Damn K.O, you really earned that name.”

‘Hell yeah!” Owens pumped the air. “This means i’m in right. I can do the stinkface on my opponent's right?”

“Not quite.”

“What? Come on Show, I practically melted this guys face off. I can do it!”

“Oh you can do it all right. But you can't do it on stage till someone gives it to you.”

“Wait you mean I have to…”

“Thats right.”

Just then the elevator jerked back into motion. Big show reached over and pressed the button for the floor with the practice stage.

“I’ll see you in the ring, Owens”

#Stinkface #Fiction #BigShow #KevinOwens

[scotwresnet]

Beach Ballroom, Aberdeen

For four years WrestleZone have sold out the historic Beach Ballroom in Aberdeen. For the past four years we have seen Hall of Famers, Legends, stars from across the Atlantic head to the Granite City for an unforgettable night of professional wrestling.

And on June 17th it happens all over again.

And it keeps getting bigger.

Before we get onto the matches, at the 2016 Aberdeen Anarchy event Crusher Craib attempted to regain the Undisputed WrestleZone Championship from Scotty Swift. After a grueling contest Craib fell from the top turnbuckle and landed with an almighty crash, a pinfall later and Scotty Swift retained his championship. As Swift made a quick exit, Crusher Craib received medical attention for what was revealed to be a broken hip socket from the impact. At this years event it will be the first time fans will see Crusher in over a year, he will be making announcement about his career. What is interesting about this is, will he be announcing the end or will it be the beginning of something new…and terrifying. His return also adds an unpredictable element to the main event, will he help or hinder Scotty Swift if he decides to come a bit closer to the action?

Speaking of the main event, the first official match announced was made after the Regal Rumble when Sterling Oil’s Shawn Johnson outlasted 19 others to become the 2017 winner. Shawn Johnson’s win saw him catapulted to the main event, the first time since 2013 that Richard R Russell had a representative in the main event of the supershow. It didn’t end well back in 2013 but Russell is a master tactician who will have a plan lined up. What he may not be able to count on is loyalty, since Shawn was Russell’s chosen boy to win the Regal Rumble it has left Damien to become somewhat outcasted and shunned. His face at the end of the Regal Rumble spoke a thousand words:

photo credit Kyle Watt

Will Damien be a factor? Will Crusher Craib be a factor? Can Richard R Russell finally bring back the Undisputed WrestleZone Championship to Millionaire’s Row?

This is why Aberdeen Anarchy is a must see event and why it has sold out four years in a row to over 1000 fans. It’s edge of the seat viewing with predictions being split. The special guests may be what draws you in but the storylines crafted make you come back for more.

Scotty Swift will not only defend his Undisputed WrestleZone Championship but also an undefeated streak of 4 – 0 at the Beach Ballroom. It will be a mighty task if Johnson walks away with that belt in his grasp.

Richard R Russell is in for a busy night with not just one title match to watch but his the Sterling brothers have a chance to regain the WrestleZone Tag Team Championships against The Rejected. Archer and Vago took the champions by surprise by accepting their open challenge at Christmas Chaos 2016 and since then they have had William and Alan in their back pocket. For The Rejected to accept another title match they needed something in return, an opportunity to embarrass Richard R Russell and Sterling Oil one more time. If Archer & Vago retain the WrestleZone Tag Team Championships, Russell will have his head shaved bald. A big gamble for the high strung manager of Sterling Oil, a gamble that could see him save money on shampoo but also see his boys titleless on the biggest night in WrestleZone’s calendar.

Johnny Lions and Damien face off for one final battle, almost a year and a half of punches and insults thrown these two looked to fight forever. Lions will have the Evening Express’s Sean Wallace in his corner who suffered an attack by the increasingly erratic Damien. Could losing this final battle be the straw that broke the camel’s back? Should Damien be broken and his aim to prove his worth to Sterling Oil be at the forefront, this could spell the beginning of a very messy situation in WrestleZone.

Three matches into this review and we haven’t even scratched the surface on this years guests.

After Mickie James was removed from the line up due to re-signing with WWE, WrestleZone brought in former WWE Women’s and Divas Champion Melina as her replacement. The high profile superstar drew the ire of ‘The Queen of Catch’ Sammii Jayne who challenged Melina to a match, which she accepted. Unfortunately, a knee injury forced Melina to pull out of the match but she will still be there to support her substitute. ‘The Vixen of Violence’ Viper. Viper and Sammii faced off last year in an incredible mixed tag team match which saw Viper powerbomb Sammii off the second rope on the road to victory. As an added bonus, WrestleZone decided to make this match a tables match, just to add an extra layer of danger. These two are very familiar with each other so expect something special with plenty of twists and turns.

Sammii’s King is also in action as the finals of the WrestleZone Tri-Counties Title Tournament finally concludes at Aberdeen Anarchy following two failed semi final rounds with no winners. ‘The King of Catch’ Aspen Faith has been at the centre of this situation since his time limit draw at the Regal Rumble with the view of if he can’t be the champion, then no-one can. The beautiful WrestleZone Tri-Counties Championship will be suspended above the ring and the winner will have to scale a ladder to retrieve that title and become the inagural champion. Let’s breakdown the final four:

Aspen Faith – Arguably the favourite to win, however, isn’t a fan of heights as revealed on the World of Trash podcast (link). Not short of confidence and has plenty of talent to overcome a little acrophobia.

Bingo Ballance – The Zenith of Zero Gravity is almost custom made for this exact match, no fear to take risks in the hope to gain gold.

Bryan Tucker – Out of the four participants, Tucker is the only man to compete in a ladder match at the Beach Ballroom. A match that also saw him victorious. Lightning could strike twice.

Zach Dynamite – The wildcard perhaps, certainly can fly but maybe hasn’t had the chance to shake off all the ring rust since his return last year from a long time sitting on the sidelines injured.

All we can be sure off is that we will have a new Tri-Counties Champion and it will be one of those four men.

Mr P and Grado ride again as they team up with WWE Hall of Famer Rikishi to face the physically imposing team of Andy Wild, Kid Fite and the debuting Sha Samuels. Mr P and Grado may’ve teamed up before but Fite and Samuels have held tag team gold, add Wild and you have a scary trio of calculating monsters. Wild and Mr P have been at each others throat with Wild looking to manhandle the principal of chaos but Mr P doesn’t go down without a fight plus he has back up, big back up in the form of former WWE Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion, WWE Hall of Famer Rikishi who has some stinkfaces with the names Wild, Samuels and Fite on the tank.

The final match to complete this preview is the battle of the big men, the colossal Lou King Sharp against former WWE Cruiserweight Champion Hornswoggle. A match up that will see Sharp having the rare chance to tower over his opponent. The ring will need to be supported just to hold Sharp’s hulking ego. This match will be worth the price of admission alone with shenanigans galore.

Plus the inclusion of a pre-show match for VIP ticket holders, a meet and greet before the event and a post show party in Aberdeen. Fans will be flocking and likely turned away on the day so it’s almost a necessity to buy tickets now so that you won’t be left disappointed.

Limited general admission tickets, priced at £17, are still on sale if you haven’t already got, available from any of the following places; www.aberdeenperformingarts.com, The Lemon Tree on West North Street, His Majesty’s Theatre on Rosemount Viaduct or by phoning them on 01224 641122

Announced Matches: Pre-Show – Blue Thunder & Bradley Evans vs Lord Mr Malice & Nathan North Johnny Lions w/Sean Wallace vs Damien Andy Wild, Sha Samuels & Kid Fite vs Grado, Rikishi & Mr P Lou King Sharp vs Hornswoggle Tables Match – Sammii Jayne vs Viper w/Melina WrestleZone Tag Team Championships vs Richard R Russell’s Hair – The Rejected (Chris Archer & Mikkey Vago) (c) vs The Sterling Brothers (William Sterling & Alan Sterling) w/Richard R Russell WrestleZone Tri-Counties Championship – Ladder Match – Bryan Tucker vs Bingo Ballance vs Aspen Faith vs Zach Dynamite Undisputed WrestleZone Championship – Scotty Swift (c) vs Shawn Johnson

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PREVIEW: WrestleZone Aberdeen Anarchy 2017 Beach Ballroom, Aberdeen For four years WrestleZone have sold out the historic Beach Ballroom in Aberdeen. For the past four years we have seen Hall of Famers, Legends, stars from across the Atlantic head to the Granite City for an unforgettable night of professional wrestling.

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