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carylerxsecretsanta · 4 months

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50 Days

Written For:@peletiersdixon

Title: 50 days Author: @lola-andheruniverse Rating: T/ Teen and Up Audiences Summary: “With shivering fingers, she grabs the framed picture from her bookcase and looks at it. Looks at him. Really looks at him. There it is. The same look she sees everyday when they walk with Dog. The same look he had when he said he loved her, fifty days ago. A look he’s being giving her for years now. Maybe since the beginning of them.

You do love me...don’t you?” A/N: This is the first time I’ve written a fanfic in over 15 years, and the first time ever writing for caryl. I hope I made them justice. English is not my first language. I struggle with commas and I like my ‘and’s. There’s no beta work here besides my grammar check app so I apologize for any mistakes/typos. Kudos to anyone who can find my little references to Doctor Who.

Dear Liddy, I used your favorite scene as base for this story + a little speculation on my part for TWD:DD and The Book of Carol. Fingers crossed that you enjoy it. I wish you a Merry Christmas and a 2024 full of beauty, light and fun.

____________________________

“I love you.”

He says it like it is the most profound thing to say. Like it’s an old secret or a promise long kept. He says while looking at her like she’s someone endearing to look at. And she doesn’t understand why. Of course he loves her. She knows he does. She’s his best friend! Silly man.

Why are you saying this to me now?

She giggles just a little. Shrugs and fights the need not to nod condescendingly because this is clearly important to him. And she knows better than anyone that he doesn't say anything he doesn't fully intend to say.

“I love you too.”

She says it back because apparently he needs to hear it. Because it's the umpteenth time they'll be apart and it's good to say goodbye without leaving anything unsaid for once. Because it’s true.

Don’t you know it already?

He smiles that little smile that she secretly adores. Caresses her face with his hand and hugs her. Cradles her head and she breathes that unique combination that’s him – pine, grease, leather, sweat, tobacco, petrichor – and everything should be perfect for one small moment, but it isn’t. Because she can feel through her shoulder that he’s chewing on his lower lip and through her chest that his breathing is heavy. Sometimes a hug is just a way to hide your face.

What? What is it? What is wrong?

But there’s no time for her to understand because their hug is over too soon and he’s smiling again but it doesn’t reach his eyes. She sighs and looks at the vast blue sky to not see him getting on the bike. It really is a beautiful day to hit the road. He watches her intently for a beat.

What, Daryl?

She keeps smiling because she doesn’t know what else to do. What else to say. She needs him to go because all of this fucking hurts and she doesn’t deal well with hurt. She’s keeping together because he deserves to leave while she has a smile on her face. He deserves to see that she’s fine. Just a little sad, as she told him. He probably needs to see that she’s fine. Or else he won’t go.

I don’t want you to go.

He said it’s not like they’re not going to see each other again. So she focuses on that and keeps smiling. This is not the time or place to think about what she wants. He can go. He’ll be back someday and she’ll be here. That’s fine. She’s fine. He can go.

And so he does.

She watches him grow smaller and smaller on the horizon, feeling like a kid that got a puzzle for Christmas with a missing piece.

____________________________

She doesn’t deal well with hurt, but she’s damn good at compartmentalizing, so that’s what she does. She keeps going, trying her best not to count the days since he left.

03 days.

It’s not like things are completely different from when he was there. Her daily routine is basically the same. She wakes up at 5am and takes Dog for a walk. When he’s home they do it together, enjoying the sunrise and the last hour of quietness before the town wakes up. It’s the only time they have to be alone and talk. Sometimes they reminisce about previous homes and lost family members, or about what the future holds for the kids and for Lydia. Sometimes they just coordinate what their day will be like because Judith needs a new pair of shoes and they’re out of butter. She realizes, with a bit of surprise, that they've probably talked to each other more this past year than in all the years they've known each other. Most of it they just watch Dog running around enjoying each other’s company. There’s a distinct void by her side where he should be, but she does her best and ignores it. He’ll come back eventually. She’s fine.

05 days.

She cooks breakfast for the kids and makes sure RJ has everything he’ll need for school. The boy has a special talent for putting his things away and instantly forgetting about them. She thinks he got it from Rick. God bless him.

09 days.

The CW and all of its sister communities are home to a few thousand people and the paperwork to keep track of everyone and everything that happens everywhere is endless. Hornsby had many flaws, but sloppy wasn’t one of them. The man registered every single thing he knew and even a year later she’s still working her way through his notes and digging out shady information. It suits her fine. She’s very good at her job. Before, she could finish things up by 7pm and be home for dinner time. Now she needs to leave at four, so she can pick the kids up from school and take care of them. That’s not a problem. No better hour than 3am in the morning to read a 65-page report on poppy harvesting.

14 days.

She dreams that night that he’s hugging her and it’s so vivid she can feel him around her hours later. It makes it especially hard to focus on her meeting with Mercer and Ezekiel that afternoon. The CW Autumn Festival is a week away and Mercer is trying to convince the eternally enthusiastic Ezekiel that there's no need to add more activities than what's already planned. It’s a lot easier to work with him now that he’s an elected representative of the people, but sometimes the King in him tries to get out. When the meeting is finally over, he tells her every festival reminds him of Henry. There's nostalgic joy in his voice and an easy smile on his face. He’s done grieving. She excuses herself and goes to the roof. She lights up a cigarette but resists the urge to inhale. She just needs to smell the tobacco in the air for a few minutes. Her heart aches with longing and she pretends it’s only for Henry. She’s fine.

21 fucking days.

On the day of the festival, they have a great parade to celebrate all the special residents of the CW. Jude walks in front of the swordsman section with her katana with so much grace that Michonne would swell with pride. Lori would too. That’s why she’s there. That’s why she stayed. To take care of little ass kicker for them. For him too.

22 days.

It’s almost midnight and she’s sitting on the porch, stargazing, a cup of lukewarm coffee in her right hand. Today was a good day. Lydia came home for the festival and is staying a whole week this time. The girl does a wonderful job as a mail woman for the communities. It’s rare to have her stay for more than a couple of days. Her room is always clean and ready for her. She makes sure of this because if anyone deserves a welcoming home, it's Lydia.

“Hey.” She hears her before she sees her because all the lights are off. She revels in the fact that even when the girl speaks softly, there's a distinct lightness to her voice that her teenage self didn't have.

“Hey you. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” On the other hand, her voice sounds motherly, no matter how much she wishes it didn’t. She just can’t help it.

“Oh, I’m on my way. I just wanted to give you this.” She hopes Lydia doesn’t notice how her breath catches for a second or that her hand shakes slightly as she takes the letter from her. The paper is folded twice and one end is stained with water. She can’t read it in the dark, but she can smell it. It smells like him. “I picked it up on the last dropping site up North ten days ago, but he probably left it earlier than that. I'm sorry I didn't give it to you sooner. You were just so busy with the festival.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Thank you for delivering it to me now. But it’s late and you need to rest. You work too much. Do you want to eat anything else before going to bed?” There’s just too much affection in her heart, motherly voice be damned.

“No, no, I’m fine. Good night, Carol...I miss him too.”

She takes her time, pretending her heart isn’t beating anxiously. Drinks the rest of her now cold coffee. Gets inside and leaves the mug on the kitchen sink to wash in the morning. Checks on RJ and Judith to make sure they are sleeping. Instead of going to her own bedroom, she opts to enter his room. Like Lydia’s room, she makes sure to clean it regularly. Dog sleeps in his bed every night and when she sits down next to him, she is greeted with a wagging tail and a sloppy lick on the cheek.

“Hello, hello, you. Calm down. I’m not here to sleep over. Calm down.”

She turns on his lampshade and finally, finally, opens his letter. His voice fills every space in her mind.

Carol,

I’m on the road for 11 days now. On the third day the damn bike broke down and I had to scavenge some parts to fix it. It’s working fine now. No other problems so far – good weather, few walkers, no people. I’m catching small game near the road and I still got most of my rations.

I wonder how many days it will be before you receive this letter. Probably a lot because I’m using the last dropping site on the North border. Sorry to leave you without news for so long. I’ve been thinking about you though. I bet you’re working your ass off even worse now that I’m not there to stop you. Don’t you go and exhaust yourself, okay? Try to sleep more than four fucking hours a night and eat your food, your paperwork ain’t going nowhere.

How are the kids? The parade thing already happened? Tell Jude I'm wishing her luck, but I’m sure she is going to kick ass. What about RJ? He promised me a drawing for every day I'm away so put him to work. The kid is a fucking artist, I swear. Shit, now I’m homesick. Give them a hug from me, please? Lydia too, I suppose she’s home since you got my letter. Tell her I miss her. We don’t see her enough. She works too much just like you.

I’m going to cross the border tomorrow. It may take some time, but I’m going to find some way to communicate with you. I promise. So don’t you worry too much. I’ll be back before you know it. You won't even have time to miss me. I miss you though. Every day I watch the sunrise and think about you (and Dog).

I love you. See you soon.

Daryl

She breathes in. Traces his words with her finger. Breathes out. He wrote that he loved her. They exchanged letters when she was on the boat. He's never done this before. She’s intrigued, to say the least. What led him to say these words?

Why, Daryl? Why?

____________________________

25 days.

She keeps the letter under her pillow and every night, before she goes to sleep, she rereads it, trying to decipher his intentions. She recalls him saying it just before he left, and she knows there’s something she’s missing but she has no idea what it is.

29 days. Why did you say you love me? Why did you write it down?

Jude gets her period for the first time and, while preparing a hot water bottle for the girl, she has to hold back tears and stop thinking about how she never got the chance to do it for Sophia. Hilltop is struggling to harvest enough food to contribute to all sister communities because its soil is still recovering from the fire caused in the war against the Whisperers, and it causes a small political crisis.

33 days. Why, Daryl? It’s not like you meant it that way, so why did you do it?

She talks with Gabriel over the radio. There's some stomach bug going around Alexandria; he's worried they won't be able to control it with the resources they have. She personally arranges for everything they need to be delivered, sends an extra doctor to help, and dreams about killing Karen and David for the rest of the week.

45 days. You can’t mean it. It’s me. I don’t deserve it.

It is time for the bimonthly meeting between the sister communities and Aaron shows up accompanied by none other than Dwight. He comes to present his intent of rebuilding the Sanctuary as a community and to ask for the CW’s help. He talks for hours. All other agendas are postponed as this ghost of their past comes back and tells them stories about cowboys and radioactive walkers, Morgan and Sherry, becoming a father and burying his son. His voice is decided and steady, but his eyes have this subtle glint of someone who’s thinking how the hell they got where they are and when they can leave. She can relate. The day ends, and they need more hours to come to any decision, so everyone agrees to resume their meeting the next day. Her family always stay the night at their house when they’re in town so she asks them to go ahead while she finishes up the meeting’s minutes. She just needs a moment to sort out her own feelings.

She’s back at her office, staring blindly at a sheet of paper and there’s a knock on her slightly open door. Dwight’s there, hands in his pocket, a question in his face.

“May I come in?”

So formal. “Yes, of course. Can I help you with something? Did anyone tell you where you can stay the night? Usually it’s Mercer who…”

“Yes, yes, he’s waiting outside. I just need to ask you something.”

“Okay. Sure.”

“You’re Daryl’s, aren’t you?”

She blinks one. Twice. “I’m sorry. Come again?”

“When I went to Alexandria a few days ago, I asked for Daryl. You see, he’s the one who released me. He didn’t forgive me for what I’d done, but he somehow understood my reasons. He told me to go find my wife and never come back. I did what he told me. I found Sherry. I had a son. I fought other wars. I lost my son. I came back.”

“He gave you a second chance.” Of course he did, that was who he was. He was good.

“He did. He really did. And I’ll never be able to repay him for it. You know, for a long time, I didn’t get why he let me go. He should have killed me, I wanted him to. Sherry got it before I did. Right from the start, probably. He told me once, but I wasn’t paying attention. He told me he understood why I joined the Saviors because I did it thinking about someone else. And that’s why he couldn’t do it. That he wouldn’t break for the same reason I did.”

Yes, she knows what Dwight’s talking about. At least, she knows enough. Over the years, he's provided her with enough information to know what they put him through while he was Negan's hostage. She never asked him directly. He told her what he wanted, when he wanted, as he healed. It’s in the past now. He grew up from it. He never broke because he was a man of honor. He loved his family, he would not betray any of them.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m following. And I need to get back to my family. What is it that you’re trying to say?”

Dwight looks at her like he’s confused by her confusion.

“Back at Alexandria, Aaron told me that Daryl didn't live there anymore. That he had moved to another community with ‘Carol and the kids’. It made me happy. When my son was born...When Finch was born, I told Sherry that I had Daryl Dixon to thank for it. Regardless of all the things that happened...I’m sorry for all I put him through. For killing Denise. I’ll never be not sorry. Daryl’s a good man. A better man than I’ll ever be. I’m just really happy that he got a second chance in his life too.”

Oh. Oh. She feels her eyes enlarging while he keeps talking, misunderstanding everything.

“Aaron told me that he left some weeks ago but nothing more. I would like to talk to him. I need to thank him. So that’s what I wanted to ask you. When does he come back?”

“I’m not Daryl’s.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“You got it wrong. I’m not Daryl’s. We are friends. We take care of Rick’s kids together. That’s it.” Her voice sounds angry and loud even to her own ears and she cringes internally.

Dwight creases his brow and looks directly in the direction where she knows there’s a framed picture of them with all the kids from the last summer festival. It’s a completely chaotic portrait of them. RJ is crying because he spilled juice all over his shirt two seconds before the photograph was taken. She’s trying to soak part of it with a few napkins, full mommy mode on. Jude’s mouth is open, caught in the middle of a phrase, trying to console him. Lydia’s the only one looking at the camera, smiling shyly, with a sorry look on her face. And he? He was looking directly at her, that adorable smile adorning his lips, handing her more napkins. The background is blown out and the image is grainy. It’s perfect.

“We are not together the way you think we are.” She says quietly, but firmly. “I don’t know when he’s coming back. But when he does, I’ll tell him about you and that you want to talk to him. I’ll tell him to go to the Sanctuary. I can’t promise you that he’ll go, but I can promise that I’ll pass the message.” This man needs to leave. Please, just leave.

He’s still looking at the picture. Slowly, he directs his attention back to her.

“Why not?”

“Why not what?”

“Why are you not together?”

She’s stunned. What the hell is happening? She had never talked to the man before and here he is asking her something that he hadno business knowing. Why are they not together? Let’s see. They’re not together because he doesn’t love her like that. Because he’s too good of a man for her. Because she’s lucky enough to have him in her life as it is. Because if he loved her he would have said something.

But you did, didn’t you? You said it and you wrote it down. And I don’t know why, but I know you. And you wouldn’t play with my heart like that. So...Does that mean…?

No, it doesn’t. She’s being ridiculous. She can’t allow herself to think about the possibility. Because she wouldn’t survive if she got her hopes up and he rejected her. Because if anything was going to happen, it would have happened this past year. And, again, because he doesn’t love her like that.

“He doesn’t love me like that”. She only registers that she’s said it aloud after it’s out.

Dwight glances at the picture again. Sighs. “Well, I don’t know why he left and if it has anything to do with you two. But maybe...Look, Daryl told me to go and find Sherry. That’s what he wanted for me. That’s what I want for him too. You should go and find him too.” He nods to her once and leaves, closing the door behind him and leaving her completely thunderstruck.

____________________________

47 days.

Dwight, Aaron and everyone else are finally gone. The Sanctuary is officially part of the CW’s network. In two weeks she’ll travel there with Mercer to assess what they need and what they can do to contribute. How wonderful! She never looked forward to anything so eagerly. She’s fine.

48 days.

The kids are sleeping over with Eugene and Maxxine because they need help with their science fair projects. She misses him like crazy. She cries herself to sleep while hugging his letter.

49 days.

She’s dreading the fifty-day mark so much that she tells Ezekiel she needs a break and spends the entire day hiking in the woods beyond the walls. She stops by a creek around midday and lights a cigarette and it’s like he’s there and she laughs and she cries and she feels like her mind is shattering because she’s thinking absurd thoughts and her heart is beating completely out of rhythm and reaching out to him wherever he is and she can’t pretend anymore that she doesn’t love him with all she has and she has loved him for a long time now.

I love you. I do. I do. I love you.

She thinks about him. How he looks at her when the first rays of light touch her hair during their morning walks with Dog. Them becoming a unit at the prison. And then becoming strangers in Alexandria. Him saying he would never hate her, even when she thought she had ruined his chances of happiness. (How many times he said to her it wasn’t like that with Connie and she refused to listen? God.) The Cherokee Rose and the beer bottle. Hunting together while she was a pretend queen and he was king of the woods. Locking eyes with him across rooms and instantly knowing how he felt about something. Getting her heart wrecked when they fought in the cabin. Kissing his forehead, mindful of his stitches. Being held by him when she lost both her children. Riding the bike to escape death but, mostly, to experience life. Following his light.

And I think...I think you might love me too.

50 days.

She doesn’t understand how she stepped out for one single day and there are six new reports on her desk to read and sign. It’s ridiculous, to say the least. She’ll have to skip dinner to get it done or stay up to 3am again. At least there are leftovers in the fridge.

“Excuse me, miss deputy secretary?” Lucy, Communications intern, is at her office’s doorstep. “You’ve got a call over the radio. The connection is terrible, but apparently it’s mister Dixon.”

Her heart drops all the way through her stomach and she nearly knocks the girl over in her rush to run out of the room toward the communications office, which is two flights of stairs up. She doesn’t even register who’s operating the radio before picking it up.

“Hello! Are you there?”

A beat.

“Hello! Hey! It’s me.”

Oh my god.

Relief rushes through her veins so fast she feels dizzy. “Daryl!” She reminds herself to breath. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I have a radio here. I thought, what the hell? How you doin’?”

I love you.

“Where’s there?”

“I’m in Maine, by the coast. Everything good there?”

No. I realized I love you and I’m completely losing my mind.

“Yeah, you know, pretty quiet here.”

Liar.

“Quiet’s good. You okay?”

He deserves the truth. At least a little bit of it. “Yeah. Just takes some getting used to, that’s all.”

I miss you. Daryl. I miss you.

Another beat. Dammit. She shouldn’t have said anything.

“You sure you’re okay?”

I‘m not. I’m daring to wish for things that I shouldn’t.

She thinks for a second. She doesn’t want him to worry. Worry gets you distracted. Distracted gets you killed. And she needs him to come back.

Come back to me.

“You never have to worry about me, Daryl. How is it out there?”

“I’ll tell you all about it when I see you. I’m just gathering up some fuel. I’ll be there in about a week. I promise.” Shit. He’s worried. Shit! But she can’t find in herself to care too much about it right now because he’s coming back.

You’re coming back?

“Copy that. Hey, Daryl?”

You’re coming back.

“Yeah?”

I love you.

“Dwight came back.” That was not something he needed to know while on the road. She’s overwhelmed and not thinking throughout.

“Who came back? Carol? W…”

The interference sound gets too loud and she can’t hear him anymore. Maybe she got cut on his side too because he didn’t get what she said last. But he heard enough.

“Daryl? Can you hear me? Daryl? Dwight. Dwight came back. Daryl?”

“We lost the signal, miss.” Says the radio operator, shutting it down, before she’s ready to accept that their conversation his over.

She feels her eyes watering and has to rapidly blink to avoid crying. Say thanks to the operator and slowly but surely gets back to her office. Shuts and locks the door for good measure. With shivering fingers, she grabs the framed picture from her bookcase and looks at it. Looks at him. Really looks at him. There it is. The same look she sees every day when they walk with Dog. The same look he had when he said he loved her, fifty days ago. A look he’s been giving her for years now. Maybe since the beginning of them.

You do love me...don’t you?

He’s coming back. In a week, he’ll be back. She has seven days to prepare herself, so when he gets here she can tell him that she loves him too. Without giggling, without shrugging, without doubt. Seven days. She can wait. Seven days are nothing compared to all the days that they’ve already lived and those that will come. Hopefully. She’s fine. She can wait. They had enough bad timing. Time to get back to work. Those reports won't read themselves.

#Caryl #Caryl Secret Santa 2023 #gift 1 of 1 #from lola-andheruniverse #peletiersdixon

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haircoveredwriter · 7 months

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Episode 1X05 "Deux Amours" thoughts

(Warning: if I don't make sense in this post, I apologize. I've been trying to put this together for the past 20 mins but my brain has been fried by the episode it seems).

The fifth installment of the Daryl Dixon series is a GIANT - let me repeat this - G I A N T culminating expression of Daryl's fears/desires/drive to get home to Carol. If anyone was in doubt before they would have to be living in another dimension not to see it after "Deux Amours".

Starting with the conversations between Daryl and Azlan throughout the episode, Daryl's focus on getting home is clear. Our boy is still obsessed with finding a working radio for a specific call even in the flashbacks, but more on that later 😉. Azlan asks him about the promise he made which drives him on his journey to get back home, and Norman's acting of subtle reacting to the other man's points of (I'm paraphrasing) "sometimes a man's promise gets detoured around the realities of life" encompasses the tone of the entire show and the rest of the episode. "It's a home for the soul" If that isn't Caryl, I don't know what is.

When Laurent asks him about his friends there's an obvious pairing and splitting up of the groupings he chooses to answer with; Judith & RJ, Connie & Ezekiel, Carol. There are the kids, his friend ... and then " a woman named Carol". His pause and voice change upon saying her name warms my little shipper heart. If only Laurent hadn't jumped in so quick to continue the conversation. Look kid, the man was having a MOMENT! Read the room, sheesh. Lol.

I've haven't seen many bring this up but imo the young man at the gas depot during the flashback's was another huge planted plot point for Caryl. Daryl's whole thing has been how he needs to get home, and the kid is there "just trying to make it home to his girl". He promised he get enough gas to pick her up and take her away, the two of them together, out to California. Does that ring any bells to anyone???? NEW MEXICO IS STILL OUT THERE.

THAT radio call scene. Yes. Everything about it ... yes. I don't think I can do it justice trying to put it into words but @mcbride made a wonderful gifset of it for you to view or I know there are clips of the scene out there as well.

**Special recognition for the fact a lot of these Caryl callback scenes occurred by the river/while Daryl was in a make shift tent similar to the one at his s9 camp.**

Now we've reached the infamous Daryl/Laurent/the boat scene. I'm not going to get into a debate of whether he was wrong or right to go off on a kid like that; I'm going to deal solely with my perceived reasoning behind Daryl's actions. IMO finding the boat gone and subsequently that Laurent is the one who cut the rope was the straw that broke the camels back - so it were - for Daryl's emotions through the whole show about going home. Everything had been building up emotionally for Daryl until this point in the series; every past attempt to get home thwarted or delayed somehow, and having the person who he's supposed to be getting to The Nest where he will get what he's been after ... a way home ... blow things up in his face was too much to bear. The thought that maybe he may not actually get back to Carol overwhelming him and leading him to blow up at Laurent. I think the timing of this scene in the episode should also be taken into consideration, immediately after the radio call.

The groundwork has been laid out for Carol's reappearance in the season finale, whether that is in France or somewhere else that is still yet to be seen but all roads lead to Caryl.

#caryl #caryl positivity #carol peletier #daryl dixon #carol and daryl #twd spoilers #twd: daryl dixon #carol loves daryl #daryl loves carol

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subzeroparade · 6 months

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hi :) I've been reading through some of your Bloodborne stories and I am in such awe of your writing.

I finished reading Litanies and (not to be dramatic but,) I genuinely sat and stared at my wall for hours digesting how much talent and how much work went into making something like that.

It was genuinely so wonderful to experience and read.

ANYWAY I shan't ramble,,, ty ty 🙇

thank you very much anon <33 i've been feeling the impulse to be extra harsh on my work lately, so this really means a lot (T⌓T)

please have this little Litanies-adjacent Rom/Caryll scribble as thanks

#ask #bloodborne #writing #rom the vacuous spider #runesmith caryll #still going through the ask box

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my-mt-heart · 7 months

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Welcome back SF, really missed your input.

That's really kind of you to say 🙏 I'm watching this spinoff against better judgment and have a lot of thoughts on it, but I'll try to stick to production topics.

[W]hy giving so many visual cues for Carol?

Like MT and you yourself said, AMC realized (somewhat belatedly) that they can't Carol-ify characters (Maggie in DC/Isabelle in DD) and expect the audience to get excited. The studio knows Carol gets engagement, that's why they keep pushing the character on social media despite the fact that officially, she's not part of TWDU. I believe Melissa/Carol is so conspicuously absent from Nicotero's interviews for related reasons.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they shove Melissa and Angela aside to make their own spin off?

No, you're right, but each of the people wanting them off the project had their own reasons for it. It's not as simple as "Norman got a big head" from being the most marketed character (although there's an element of that too). There's a lot of people involved and they all had different things to gain from having these two women removed.

So, my guess right now is, it's about the money and someone less with an opinion, so both Greg and Norm have more creative freedom and a couple of spare millions to spend on their vision

AMC spent way more money this way than having Melissa be part of the show from the start, so no, it's not about money and making a TV show isn't a bunch of people compromising on what to do. (More on that a little further down.)

There are many reasons and @jaibhagwan mentioned one of them in a comment to my previous ask, "[W]ho has the most the gain by sabotaging Caryl to make himself look good writing his “love story” spinoff?" Gimple was heavily involved in S11, the development of DD and in part of pre-production, and like I've previously said, he doesn't want competition. (It shouldn't be a competition at all, since a TV show is a collaborative effort and as a viewer I'm capable of liking both Carol and Michonne. Not that the race is between the women, because Gimple doesn't care about either of them.) He wants DD to fail, so he can swoop in to save the franchise with his TOWL show.

Just so no one misunderstands this as a slight and gets upset: Michonne is one of my favorites and I hold Danai in utmost respect. I'm not comparing women or female characters. They bring different things to the franchise and that's a GOOD THING. I want more of that. I also think Clémence is a great actor and apart from the sweeping aerial establishing shots, she's the only enjoyment I'm getting from DD. My issue is with Gimple and Zabel (whose existence as a "fleshie" I can unfortunately confirm to anyone thinking he might be a cardboard cutout), and their no-good storytelling.

@rubberchickeny "They all ring untrue and like he’s trying to manage (badly) the image the media and the public have. He’s contradicting himself, and other information given."

I believe the obfuscation is on purpose and that AMC (by way of Nicotero) is also trying to shift blame for some of their more controversial story decisions.

Everything that happens on a TV show has been approved by the studio responsible for the production. It doesn't matter if you're an egomaniac actor, a spiteful hack of a writer or a burnt-out EP—no one can override the studio. Someone at the studio approved the respec of Daryl back to his S2 self, the choice to deny his found family, the nunbaiting, etc. Every single script goes to the studio for notes and then (eventually) final approval before it's locked. They approve of the episode edit; if they don't like it, it gets reedited to their specifications.

There's a method to the madness in everything Nicotero has been saying.

@kryptoniancape "So he blatantly lied about having no creative control in that hit piece?"

Yes 🤷‍♀️ and you're right, it's a hit piece. The question is why. Why do AMC and Greg Nicotero want you to think that everything that's wrong about this show is Norman's fault? I'm not saying he doesn't bear any responsibility, but this isn't a one-man standup comedy special on HBO. If he made demands AMC didn't want to meet, they could have pulled the plug on those delusions at any point.

“I’m watching this spinoff against better judgment”

Translation: MT is making me watch so I can answer her long list of questions she sent me.

I guess my concern about a possible smear campaign is…are they expecting more backlash later on? If so, I’m terrified to find out what that is. I’m getting so many asks from people wondering why they should hope for a better story in S2, and even though I do think we can put some of our faith in Melissa, it’s still a valid question. Because they should be doing everything to rebuild our trust that was lost the day they announced the Caryl spinoff was canceled, but instead they’re preparing for things to get worse?

Again, all I want (as a fan and as another woman in the industry) is to feel reassured that Melissa’s getting everything a leading lady deserves and that Daryl and Carol are getting the story they deserve.

Fwiw: If Danai was the showrunner on her spinoff, I would’ve been SEATED for that. If Melissa got to showrun or direct, I’d be seated for that too. TWDU needs more women and poc making creative decisions.

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

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lola-andheruniverse · 17 days

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Fix It Wednesday - Caryl Fanfiction Rec

Hey, hey, here are two marvelous and beautifully written stories that fix some very recent errors made by TPTB. All She Ever Wanted written by annapurna_2 is posted on 9Lives.

Summary: Daryl's been gone for weeks, and Carol can't stop missing him. (A fix-it fic for the series finale.)

Rating: M / Mature Word count: 3437 Published: December 15, 2022 - ONE-SHOT In this story, Carol has the opportunity to reflect on her decision to stay behind at the end of the series and accept her feelings for Daryl. Luckily for her, Daryl anticipates it. It's beautiful the way they come together, full of emotional realism and deserved reconciliation. A fic for those that still mourn the New Mexico spin off. Liability written by Lighteneverything is also posted only on 9Lives. Summary: Fix-it one-shot for 11x18. After Lydia leaves, Carol and Daryl have a long overdue conversation. Rating: T / Teen and Up Audiences Word count: 3465 Published: October 03, 2022 - ONE-SHOT

Oh, sweet angsty confrontation of feelings! One of the things that was never fully explained is why Daryl was still so mad at Carol in the last arc of season 11. They never talked and everything that was going on was resolved (?) off-screen. Our author decided to take matter into her hands and this fanfic was born - to give voice and space to all the anger, desperation and hopelessness that follows Carol and Daryl's love for each other. I particularly love this quote: In the constant company of his fury, he loved her so much that sometimes he hated her—hated that he should be so abjectly attached to someone who considered herself dispensable, who had failed over and over to understand what losing her would do to him. I think this quote is a great example of how this author works, turning the exploration of the uglier parts of caryl into beautiful results.

If you read one or both fics, please, dear fellow caryler, leave feedback, ok? Share the love and the praise, both authors deserve it so much. See you tomorrow!

#caryl #caryl fic recs #fix it wednesday #caryl fanfiction #caryl fandom

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 1 year

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i resent very much that i am writing twd meta this late in the year of our lord two-thousand-twenty-two after my long journey to distance myself from it, but the words are rattling around in my mind grapes, and because i am incapable of keeping things to myself, how about one more go for old time’s sake?

i think the main thing that i want to say to y’all is that we didn’t imagine it

obviously caryl has had chemistry from the very first scene they had together, but even these past few years, where we’ve dissected and meta’d every second of their screentime together under kang’s watch to death, and been like “here’s how bernie can still win!” we weren’t being delusional. the romantic beats were all there. the narrative was set up that way. she was wearing a ring in that dream sequence. he brought her a cherokee rose on a tray. they longed for each other, and planned to run away together, and it was never once foolish of us to believe otherwise, bc the only reason it didn’t happen is bc the narrative got eaten by amc’s desire to beat the shit out of twd for every drop of money it could possibly give them, and in the process they contracted Chris Charter Syndrome, which is unfortunately fatal

for those unfamiliar (tho with this group there’s probably enough crossover that i don’t rly need to explain), chris carter, the creator of the x-files, is notoriously dense af about how much of his show’s popularity is driven by his ~amazing lore~ vs the audience’s desire to have mulder and scully fuck

every conversation with him, to this day, goes p much like this:

[chris carter: people love the x-files for the mystery and intrigue and they don’t want resolved sexual tension, they want to watch our mains constantly will-they/won’t-they while battling government conspiracies until the end of time

the audience: we would watch one hundred billion hours of mulder and scully searching for bigfoot but comically missing him every time bc they get distracted by fucking each other, we could not care less about your plot. your plot doesn’t even make sense

chris carter: they just can’t wait to see what twists happen next

the audience: we are tired of the twists, and we want them to bone. in fact, here are graphs and studies and stats that all say that we would be much happier if you would just give us mulder and scully fighting silly monsters and stop trying to be gritty and dark with your plots that even you admit you don’t understand

chris carter: i am very good at my job

the audience: you are not good at your job]

rinse and repeat

if this sounds like gimple, that’s bc he has the worst case of CCS i’ve seen in a long time, and it’s unfortunate bc it’s contagious, and those who are especially susceptible are misogynistic money-hungry dudebro companies who think that what people want are GRIT and BLOOD and MAN PAIN, even when their statistics consistently tell them that they are wrong. a key component of CCS is an undeserved inflation of one’s ego and the inability to recognize the fact that one is making an ass out of oneself, which is why the past 84 years have looked like this:

[gimple: man, people love my negan and rick man-pain arc

the audience: no we don’t

gimple: i know what the ladies want, they want jerk-off contests between mediocre men while i kill off all their faves

the audience: no we don’t

amc: hmmm, while i’m picking up what you’re laying down, gimple, let’s see what this other showrunner can do for a minute

kang: people want stories about people. they want to see the seeds of character development that were planted at the very beginning bloom. they want to see the characters with chemistry go down on one another

the audience: yes, this, this is what we want

amc: interesting concept

amc: however

amc: that sounds suspiciously like conflict/resolution, and if things are neatly resolved then we can’t make money out of it anymore. i know that all the statistics say that caryl is our top ship, and that we should get them together, and let them have a concluded, peaceful ending

amc: BUT

amc: let’s instead launch a spin-off with one (1) of the duo (the male, obviously), and then let’s leave their storyline ambiguous bc that way they’ll follow us to the shitty spin-off, but also anyone who just has the hots for daryl/norman reedus will also watch bc he’s still an Eligible Bachelor ;)

amc: this is a good idea that will make us lots of money

the audience: no it will not

amc: gimple, we need your wisdom again, btw, the people miss you

the audience: no we do not

gimple: who’s ready for some GRIT AND BLOOD AND MORE MAN PAIN?!?!?!

the audience: for the love of god]

it’s stupid and exhausting, and i have Mad Respect for those of you who have been putting so much effort into making sure our voices have been heard. ( @my-mt-heart , @gunmetal-ring , @lighteneverything to name just a few) plz know that your voice WAS heard, and i fully believe that you DID make an impact. it’s just that, when push comes to shove (i.e. when you’re dealing with misogynistic rich white men), CCS is one helluva disease

and it’s sad! it’s very very sad! i’ve been spending my time away over in the “our flag means death” universe, and y’all, it has been WILD. all of the interactions with the show’s creator and the cast have been “oh you enjoyed that? we’ll be sure to keep that in mind so that we can cultivate a show that you will love, bc it makes more sense to listen to our viewers than to ourselves sometimes, bc they’re the ones who keep us from driving ourselves directly into a ditch! thank you for your feedback, we appreciate and love you!”

like??????

but see, that’s the difference between creators who are in it for the story vs. creators who are in it for the money. if you are solely money-driven you’re never going to be able to dedicate yourself to the narrative, bc narratives have concrete endings. they require you to not always be looking for that next spin-off, or to not sacrifice a character’s integrity to fit it inside of a bad plotline. they are shows like the good place, that had an ending in mind from the start. they are shows like ofmd or what we do in the shadows, where the audience’s opinion gets listened to. even supernatural (mother fucking supernatural, you guys!!!) catered to its biggest fanbase better than twd did. it might have been clown shoes, but destiel’s last-minute confession was at least explicitly romantic. amc was too cowardly to give us even that, bc it might “jeopardize” their spin-off

what we can take solace in, tho, is the fact that they are in the end stages of CCS. they think they’ve given enough to string caryl fans along over to the spin-off era of twd, but they haven’t. they’re going to crash and burn, and go out the way of GoT, in that everyone is going to be like “wow that was... let’s just not talk about that one, huh?” and it will be satisfying to watch them fizzle out into nothing when they get hit with the grim reality that they should have gotten their heads out of their asses and listened to their fans who told them that, yes, your “hot male lead” needs that middle-age grey-haired woman you cast to the side so carelessly, and that fact doesn’t change just bc you can’t fathom people caring about a woman over the age of 25

whatever. it is what it is. what matters most here is what i said up top, which is that we didn’t imagine it. we did not waste our time. we were not stupid. we had these beautiful characters laid out before us, and a storyline that supported them, and we took it and ran with it in the right direction. it’s not our fault that the narrative didn’t follow

our retribution will be the fact that now it’s our turn not to follow. instead, we can finally rest, not having to worry about the future, bc who fucking gives a shit about their dumb taunts, trying to get us to watch the spin-off for the “possibility” of caryl way down the line? we’re over it. we’re not chasing anymore carrots. we’re happy here in our caryl sandbox, with our li’l aus and headcanons and fix-its, and we don’t have to fucking discourse at each other every week anymore. we can come and go with a lightness we haven’t felt maybe fucking ever, bc it’s over now. it’s not in their hands anymore, it’s in ours

it was real. the feelings we felt, the relationships that were made between us, they were real. and it will all continue to be real in whatever way we decide to keep it. we can and should grieve what could have/should have been, and we can and should be mad, because there’s no question, we were wronged, but let’s not stay in that negativity place forever. let’s not forget why we all were drawn here to begin with, and let’s not forget what we’ve gained from each other

it wasn’t “just a tv show.” it was, and is, a community that has influenced lives to the point of changing their entire trajectory. i have written over one million (1,000,000+) words of caryl fic, and bc of that i have been able to self-publish my own book, and get into freelance writing. bc of caryl, i have been able to ghostwrite and collaborate with published authors, and am on my way to making my actual day job being writing, which is something i’ve wanted since i was itty bitty. bc of caryl, i have traveled the world. bc of caryl, i have made relationships and connections that have, quite literally, changed my entire life. amc can’t take any of that away from me. it can’t take any of that away from YOU

so yeah, shit sucks, but hey, i got something for you:

we are fine, fam, or we will be, once we’ve had a chance to lick our wounds, because we are the holders of the narrative now. caryl is OURS, finally

so, when you’re feeling up to it, come join me in the sandbox, and let’s have some fun

stay hype, stan each other, bc twd is in its grave, but caryl is forever,

-diz

p.s. felt weird not having a 30 rock reference in here anywhere so:

k bye 4 real

#god bless and amen #luhh u all #caryl #caryl spoilers #twd #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

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ninelives2 · 4 months

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#caryl #caryl fanfiction #carol peletier #daryl dixon

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genderflu1dwh0r · 5 months

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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRvVf9HS/

This is a very cute edit, thank you for sending it to me <3

#asks #victorious #jade west #tori vega #jori

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katyspersonal · 10 months

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So for the « send me a character ask game » what about our dear Rya hm?

Oh and what about Damian too?

(From this ( x ) ask meme)

- For Rya

First impression: Was first introduced to her via fanart and plenty of spoilers, I thought she was adorable x) Both as a woman and as a snake!

Impression now: Still, not much to say about her, she is just a really cute snake girl! It is one of those characters with whom there is not much to do besides memes and fanart with them in wholesome situations! However, I have even more positive opinion on her now that I know she is one of very few characters who were able to bounce back from mental defeat and be optimistic and hopeful about their future! Really rare mindset in Elden Ring's broken, despair-ridden world!

Favorite moment: Ahahaha when we discover her as a snake xD She forgot to put on her human suit, this is so precious xddd

Idea for a story: Anything you can think up about her and Patches meeting again, after Volcano Manor cringed and failed. This might be awkward as Patches is like, moving on, so meeting someone so close tied with Volcano Manor and Tanith can be... a bit of heavy, to say so. But at the same time if they get through the tension, they could become basically best friends. Or they could build father/daughter-alike bond! I also saw a ship which is valid too (let's be real, Patches had 0 chances with Tanith from the start, and there was... well, just nothing.)

Unpopular opinion: ANOTHER character with whom there are no opinions in the community besides 'I just think they're neat' to BEGIN with, so I can't answer much xD

Favorite relationship: She and her mother! This is such a sweet familial bond, holy shit. Tanith is absolutely in the right loving Rya so much, it is that one time when lack of blood relation didn't change anything about the family at all. True family bond is emotional and spiritual, and Rya is even inspired to carry on as her successor. Elden Ring spoiled us with too much wholesomeness for a Soulsborne game, especially the familial one!

Favorite headcanon: Not really a headcanon, but rather a logical conclusion. I LOVE seeing her E L O N G A T E D in fanart, like how other serpents can do that xD It makes the most sense that she is able to do that too in her serpent form x)

- For Damian

First impression: When I first saw Kris summon him for help on the stream, I mistook him (and summon dynamics in general) for one of those random-generated NPCs; some videogames do that! So at first I neglected him, in fact I was a little negative, and so it stayed until Val was the one to open my eyes on the fact that summons are unique and real characters...

Impression now: He is absolutely adorable, he looks like a sage but also like a male grandma (don't confuse with a grandpa xD), he is extremely interesting because without dialogue, he tells quite a story with his equipment and summon areas! Just... just peak performance of nonverbal storytelling, like Henriett. I currently do see him as sort of a 'dad' figure for other scholars, since my age headcanons for him moved a bit further, when I used to think of him as the same age as Mico, Laurence and Caryll back then. But like, he is COOL, you know? Both clearly very intelligent AND can kick asses of literal gods. x)

Favorite moment: When he arrives to "help" us with Rom after we died already HAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for help, asshole!!!

Idea for a story: His dives in the Isz dungeons sound like a plan! With other Tomb Prospectors! Especially Gremia - another summon in that area! Many people have been noticing that Gremia fights especially aggressively and doesn't step away and heals all that much, and he is also the only summon that can sprint. Paired with the fact that he doesn't have Loch Shield, which WAS given to Isz Prospectors.... Well, perhaps he doesn't value his safety at ALL. Damian, on the other hand, has a shield, a long range weapon, a healing bell, and three long range attack tools. They are opposites, doing the same job! I think it'd make a cool slice of life fanfic - Damian and Gremia being a fun (dys)functional duo of explorers, just deeply resenting each other but also saving each others' asses by balancing one another out!

Unpopular opinion: He is still alive when we summon him, he is in Byrgenwerth and grew hostile with his friend Julie/Yurie, he did not die and we just summon his spirit ;-; Please I just KNOW it, Damian is ALIVE in the game' events ;-;

Favorite relationship: I love him and Micolash so much <3 If only Edgar x Micolash did not take the spot of my OTP, that'd be Damian and Micolash <3 But Damian to Micolash is what Julie is to Rom, or what Brador is to Laurence, for that matter. Except, unlike other two "sidekicks", Damian would be the more reasonable one to detract, seeing they can't help their loved person out of spiralling insanity... But they were close for a long while, and I am dwelling on that period, a lot.

Favorite headcanon: I actually stealeded it from Saintmic and it is mine now: Damian was sort of biology professor, whose research and knowledge came up very handy to study phantasms and other weird creatures Byrgenwerth found. And he had a vivarium full of creatures, that Rom loved to find more abominations for xd It is an interpretation mistake of Damian being late for the battle because of a glitch since Henryk and Madaras Twin do that too, but I started to think 'lol he is late for battle because he is afraid of spiders' and it stuck... Sooooo he is not so happy when Rom brings him cool giant spider she found xD

---------------------------

Thank you for the ask!! Really unusual characters this time

#elden ring #rya the scout #zorayas #bloodborne #mensis scholar damian #ask replies #ask meme #more art of rom showing everyone a spider of the size of human head and seeing how people react please xd

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fantomette22 · 10 months

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Can you make the top of all Byrgenwerth scholars from least to most smart, responsible student? I know your Laurence doubles as a teacher but I think he counts as a student too iirc. And maybe describe more about how they behave in the class

Oh following this post I'm guessing.

Well I'm really bad at choice and making top/choose an order. But I can try XD

Also being "smart" or intelligent is really subjectif and depend on way too many things. Plus you know some school system are really not well made for some people. Clearly I don't wanna do a huge 4h essay on that so I will just go with who have the worst to best grades x)

As for the responsible ones who do all their classes/homeworks + have a serious attitude in class. I might add outside class to difference them too XD

Grades : So I tried to make an order but it really depend sometimes it depends of the classes/ years really.

Rom : Poor girl got the lowest grade ;-; she's trying hard. In some subject she have good marks but in the general stuff it's just above the average if not really low. University he's not super adapt to her. Also got you see 8km2 fanart (I love it) well I got inspired and that's what happen to her. Everyone train her but it didn't work in the end 😭 Also in high school my notes in maths were so bad because it's harder in scientific field. I pass my big 18y diploma with 7/20 in maths help. But hey in got like 11/20 at university and I think above 15 in my sandwich course so believe in your dreams!

Gehrman : So for me, while the other are students he's closer to a "free auditor" Idk how you call that in English : he can joined some really specific conferences and listen to those classes but don't have exam on it. But he was a students alongside Laurence, I guess he got a basic diploma perhaps (or none) but it would be useless. He didn't got the best of grades too but he try! he often asked Laurence for help about things or terms he didn't understood while in class. He had a decent education for a Yharnamite and always read tons of books as a child but he only get to Byrgenwerth after working a few years abroad as a young adult (when he got enough money to pay for a few classes after a few years). He really wanted to just learn things more than exceed really.

This 3 next are pretty average too and good. I am unsure for the order as well so not sure it mean too much :

Ludwig : Ludwig is stronger in sportive and outside class for exemple but still have decent results.

Damian : Damian is basically the normal average students possible but I think might be quite good too

Charles : (my dear cainhurst oc) he had great results too but you know he didn't push himself too much as well.

Maria /Laurence : Unsure which one to put above (Laurence perhaps? I mean he got a doctorate so if you look at it that way) they both had really great results and a good scholarship in general. Plus it also depends the years. What I mean by that is that Laurence first years were not great at all then excel later on. Maria had great results since the beginning but without wanting to reveal to much a semester was quite a mess for her... then it got better again.

Micolash : I guess Mico would be quite smart yeah? (maybe a bit above in the top idk) Like he could have a big ego but he would right lmao. So I'm unsure where he's placed but yep good grades for Mico.

Caryll is a gifted student of course they got the best grades most of the time.

Not counting Willem but I guess he had quite good results, Liam (gatekeeper) would be moderate like Patches if he make effort probably and poor Dores know lot of stuff and procedure but don"t ask her to write an essay she will probably eat the paper from anger XD

Responsible students : I'm really unsure how to class them soi'm doing my maximum here XD

Patches is probably the worst responsible person ever...but more like not responsible for his actions senses XD

Charles : You know the cool guy who don't pay attention all the time in class, go on many parties, show off attitude still got good results? yep it's him.

Laurence : basically the same as Charles as the beginning of his scholarship if not worse. But his grades were bad. He got his things together after a while thankfully. thank you Gehrman, again Still he still miss a few homeworks and didn't went to all his class and didn't pay attention everytime XD but hey he made it! (That's why he can't be too mad at students who don't listen he did worst XD)

Ludwig/Maria/Caryll : I guess when Caryll don't day dream and forgot a homework they're serious and on point XD same for Ludwig. Maria rarely miss a a thing too. But this 3 do get in troubles sometimes XD and it's generally big mess over their comprehension

Rom/Micolash : Well for Rom, daddy is literally the headmaster so um... (I know it's not an excuse, Laurence is like the adoptive son and miss class at first and all but still)... So yeah even if it's hard she try to do things as much as possible. The only times she missed classes (besides your typical appointment/being sick) is when she need to go save her friends's ass from weird bugs & spiders XD the excuses Mico, Damian & patches yes came up with so she could exit class are always gold! And I think Mico always almost did his things like a nice lil students.

Gehrman/ Damian : You know the parent/ big sibling of the group? XD they almost never missed a class and try to do every work.If Damian ever miss smt it's the other fault and probably Micolash's

And how they behave in class? Well I think I already talk about it earlier, a lot are calm, in group it's a mess XD or some get bored and do smt else. Sorry I will probably develop more an other day perhaps or if I wrote about it well it will be more detailed that day!

#my asks #anon ask #bloodborne headcanons #byrgenwerth squad #part 1 : a scholar’s dream #bloodborne

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