#tam and tim being work partners is so funny to me

[introspectivememories]

yknow the veil/kotteri image redraw meme? the one that's been going around on twt? now make it timber. bernard who goes on to be a famous model after grieves and does shoots all over the world. one day he does one for a gotham brand and he ends up plastered all over the city. now tim who has managed to miss all this just by virtue of being too busy being a vigilante and running wayne ent. steps out of his car one day and bam! directly across from wayne tower is this giant electronic billboard, displaying bear's new perfume ad. in it he's wearing a fur coat that's slipped down his shoulders to reveal the muscles rippling across his back. bernard looks over his shoulders and laughs, lips painted a pretty pink. the ad reads "all new scent 14 from beams: the scent of love. it's like burning" bernard winks coyly and tim is burning all right. rock hard in his too tight work pants.

#tam: what the fuck are you doing? turn around and go inside! #tim whispering: my dick is hard. i can't turn around now everyone would know! these pants are really tight #tam who def does Not get paid enough for this: what the fuck. why is your dick hard? does the thought of our fiscal reports for the quarter #make you hot and bothered? #tam following tim's line of sight: are you serious? is this your first time seeing this? this man has been plastered all over the city for #months! where have you been? #tim trying desperately to adjust his pants: i was busy! and isn't there some kind of public indecency act he's violating? #tam exhausted: tim you're the one being indecent in public rn. soften that dick and let's /go/. #tam and tim being work partners is so funny to me #bc tim thinks they're having so much fun! best work partners for life! #meanwhile that is tam's mortal enemy. if she could strangle him without consequences she would've done so by now. #bernard dowd #tim drake #dc #timber #timbern

[angel-gidget]

Omg. This ran away from me so hard and fast. So rather than have Tim go off on a random whim, this popped out as time-travel fic instead. Hope you enjoy!

 He woke up in the future. Y'know. Like ya do.

Except that it was not the future as in “the next morning”, no. He woke up in one of the guest beds of Wayne Manor–except it did not look guest-ish–and one look in the mirror told him that it was gonna be one of THOSE days. A day with Young Justice levels of crazy except it was going to apparently be in Gotham. Because the face in the mirror was NOT sixteen. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t that.

“I am a professional,” he assured his bleary-eyed self in the bathroom mirror, "I am going to do right by my future self and get through his day like it’s any other day and then I’m going to go to sleep and have Bruce work things out with Zatanna or whatever.”

(Tim had been on a space mission with his team before this happened, and it had wiped him out. He didn’t have the energy to really freak out after something like this. And Tim was a professional, so he refused to freak out anyway.)

His closet was weird. It had suits. As in, more than one. Button-up shirts. The closet looked like it should belong to a younger hipper version of Brucie and it was kind of freaky. Tim looked at the date on the clock. Oh.

“Heh. Must be Alfred’s idea of April Fool’s.” He had to dig deep to find a t-shirt. It was wrinkled, but whatever. It had a picture of King Kong eating pie, except it was actually the Greek Letter, Pi, which made everything cooler. He found some kaki shorts further down which seemed to fit okay-ish.

He thought about asking Ives to lend him some clothes while they were in class but then he remembered his FACE and the fact that he was probably in college right now, and–Class!

He raced downstairs. The kitchen still smelled like food, but when he checked the clock again, he realized it was about the time Alfred generally left to get groceries. If Tim wanted info, he’d have to head for the cave.

So down he went.

“Hey, B!” He greeted his partner with a smile. Kinda surprising to find Bruce up so early, but he’d probably never gone to bed.

“Tim.” Bruce was… observing him. Well, duh. World’s greatest detective, right? He could probably tell something was off immediately, though Tim would have to refrain from asking what gave him away. Knowing too much and all tha–

Bruce was close. Way close. And then… hugging him.

Okay. Bruce. Was. Hugging. Him. Waayyyy weird.

“Uh, Bruce?”

The man pulled back, “Sorry. I just… it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you come down looking so…”

He paused. And then the corner of his lip twitched. Disappointment?

“You’ve been dosed with something.”

“Nope!” Tim responded, “Time-travel. Mental transference variety.”

Bruce’s eyebrows rose high enough that it actually would have showed had he been wearing the cowl.

“Ah.”

Tim took a step back. A couple steps back. To regain his personal bubble.

He was about to provide (and ask for) more info, when the sexiest machine he had ever beheld came tire-drifting into the bat cave. Hello sweet mama. She had jet-packs on her fenders. Jet. Packs. So hot.

He was so busy staring that he almost missed the dynamic duo that hopped out. Tim blinked. Dick was Batman again? But why? Bruce seemed fine. Dick hated being Batman. Oh wait. It was April first. Maybe that had something to do with it?

It was a good sign if B had lightened up enough over the years to lend one of his suits to Dick for a prank. Seemed like the man was learning to live a little. Apparently, Bruce even hugged people now. Clearly progress.

“Hey, Dick! Hey… Robin.”

Tim felt the weirdest pang in his chest. Ouch. He wasn’t Robin anymore. Apparently adult(?) him had finally hung up the cape. (It was nice to know that he still visited to the point where he stayed over, even after giving up the Night.) So there was a new kid. Good for him. Dick was clearly helping look after the lil’ dude.

Said lil’ dude was very short. But solemn-looking. Heck, Tim knew the feeling.

Robin was looking at him kinda funny.

“Drake. I take it by your inappropriate attire and lack of preparations to leave you are finally surrendering my birthright to me?”

“Whuzzat?”

Bruce gave a quick little inhale that translated into a gasp and a slapped forehead on other people.

“You have a board meeting in thirty minutes.”

“I have a what now?”

“I’ll forward the details of your time travel situation to Tam and she’ll print out a schedule for you. In the meantime… take the keys to the Tesla. Get to Wayne Tower.”

Tim glanced in the direction Bruce gestured. The future was filled with beautiful cars.

Dick’s hand on his arm interrupted the thought.

“How… how old are you? Mentally?”

“He’s sixteen,” Batman grunted.

Damn, but Bruce was good. Would Tim ever be that good?

Bruce turned to the computer, and began typing an email addressed to… Tam Fox. He multitasked as he replied to Tim’s unspoken question.

“When you said time-travel you were smug, not concerned or perfunctory. You knew I would believe you. You’ve had time-based excursions with Young Justice, but are still hung up on my rather… cynical commentary from the training exercise that coincided with your sixteenth birthday.”

Tim sighed. “Yup. Accurate.”

“I apologize for that, by the way.”

Tim blinked.

“Do you mean to tell me that Drake has mentally regressed?”

Somebody had apparently spit in Robin’s wheeties that morning, because the kid was awfully cranky. No way had he got the job by being that rude 24/7.

“Time-travel.” Dick and Bruce protested in unison.

B had turned back to the computers, but Dick was looking at him funny.

“Can I… can I hug you?”

Bruce hugging him was weird, but Dick ASKING to hug him was even weirder.

“Sure?”

Dick had gotten kinda tentative. That didn’t feel like progress. But at least he had an idea of what to do when it came to Dick.

He hugged back.

—-

“In conclusion, ladies and gentleman: this engine design is proof that we are living in the FUTURE. It blows my mind that I even helped design it. So it will totally sell.”

The board members looked at him like he was kinda eccentric, but it seemed as though he hadn’t said anything shocking or way off base. Apparently, he’d never been the boring kind of CEO anyway. It was reassuring.

He didn’t initially LIKE the idea of taking over Bruce’s day-job. Until he’d seen the project he was gonna present for the day. Then it seemed to make a little more sense.

Also, Tam was really nice and wicked fast about updating him on his presentation. A little weirdly obsessed with keeping his coffee mug full, but nice.

“Now have some more pizza. It cost me thirty bucks because apparently inflation is a thing, and being rich is no excuse for wastefulness”

They ate the pizza.

Ten minutes later, Tim skateboarded down the rails of the stairs to his meeting with the Charm City branch representative.

Being boss of Bruce’s company–and apparently also his Dad’s because he saw a DI meeting on the schedule listed as a branch company?–wasn’t how Tim had pictured his future. But with the chill R&D guys, unflappable board members, and helpful Tam, the idea was kinda growing on him.

The future was looking so bright, he’d have to make a mental note…

To make the intern fetch him some shades.

- the end -

{a03 link for the curious.}

#tim drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne #time travel #batman #batclan #batfic #Red Robin #fanfic #gidgeblog #kiragecko #tumblr buddies #april fool's