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chimswae · 4 years

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BTS Caretaker CH19

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 3,884

- Author Note: I apologize if some of the thing in BTS caretaker sound cringy, i wrote this in 2017 lool so the old me is so hmmm , hahaha as much i wanted to edit it again, Im afraid i am gonna change the whole thing :< so i leave it be ahhaa thank u for reading <333

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Chapter 19

“You alright Joon?” Yoongi eyed the younger guy before him that had a distress look ever since their filming ended few hours ago. Namjoon barely touched his dinner and did not speak as much as he usually did. The corner of his eyes caught Jimin acting odd around Namjoon as if that guy knew something that he did not.

A floor light from the living room light up the space with a pleasant illumination. It was enough for Yoongi to catch a blurry image of Namjoon’s expression whom start to darken. Raking his fingers in between his soft lavender hair, a low sigh could be heard from his direction “We ended our relationship” he exhaled the words with heavy heart.

Yoongi was speechless hearing such news, though he had a little idea of how deep Namjoon’s relationship with her back then. Yet, he knew how much this guy cherish her. She used to be his source of inspiration in his song writing. Things really went wrong between them, Yoongi could not deny this one fact that he never liked the girl.

“What happen..” his unclear voice was enough to reach Namjoon. Not that he wanted to be happy over the news, however he was kind of relieve that the things have ended for good between them. Ever since the first day Namjoon told him about his genuine feelings for her, he knew something was not right in the beginning. Son Hyemi, one of their stylists who have worked for almost two years with them. Despite her cold demeanour, she appeared to be daring whenever with Namjoon. She was first assigned as Yoongi and Jungkook stylist before they switched it with Namjoon few months later.

Yoongi did not want to condemn anyone but he felt uncomfortable with her around since start. Son Hyemi is in her early 30’s when she first started her job as their stylist. Indeed, when it came to her work she’s a dedicated woman and that’s undeniable. However, for some reason with her mere presence it created unexplainable tense knowing one of his bandmates had a thing for her. They had to pretend that they were okay with it. If it weren’t for Namjoon’s happiness, he would do something pertaining to that matter. His gut is never wrong.

Son Hyemi was a trouble. She brought nothing but pain to Namjoon. If and only he realized that sooner, he would not get hurt as much as he did now. All of them had spoken about this matter behind Namjoon and clearly none of them were brave enough to say it aloud, being bluntly honest to Namjoon would only push him away. They really cared for his feelings, hurting him was the last thing they wanted to happen.

He croaked “She..is married to someone else. It is over between us” Yoongi was alarmed by his response as he stood up straight, frowning in process.

“What..when this happen?”

“She got married a week ago..It has been happening for a month, all the lies that she told me. I was a fool…to trust her and wait for her to come back to me” Namjoon looked down sadly, clutching onto his hair bellowing his frustration.

“Joon-ah…She does not deserve you. I am sorry that you are in pain and for not trying hard enough to help you through this” he gave a soft squish on his shoulder with full of regret. It was no use to cry over spill milk, horrible things when we least expected.

Lifting his head up weakly, his eyes were brimming with tears “Hyung..Its hurt.. The pain is driving me insane” Yoongi’s heart clenched his pain to see his brother in this vulnerable state.

Without uttering any words, Yoongi pulled the younger guy into a tight embrace “I know..You loved her, it was normal to get hurt. It makes you more human” Namjoon on the other hand could not contain his tears anymore, he ended up shedding his tears for the second time today. With his members, he found it was rather hard to not show this side of him. They have become his pillars of strength.

Even for the unaffectionate Min Yoongi, when it involved one of the members, he would gladly reveal this soft side of him that he intended to show only to the people that he cared. Namjoon’s shoulder shook and his breath were shuddered as he sobbed uncontrollably letting all the misery contained inside him out. His voice had drawn others to the scene one by one, watching their leader broken in Yoongi’s arm.

They exchanged a meaningful look as they had gotten the clue about it while Jimin filled them in with the news few minutes ago. Yoongi gave all of them a soft nod assuring them everything will be fine and that Namjoon only needed a moment to gather himself together.

Namjoon took a deep breath before breaking the hug “Thank you hyung..That was ugly” he wiped his tears with the back of his hand and let out a bitter chuckle.

“Once in a while, you have to cry hard. Life is like that” he patted his back softly. “To be honest, I am glad that you finally see her true colours. We are sorry that we go behind your back and talk shit about her. However, we could not bring ourselves to tell you the truth. We only want what is best for you. If being with her makes you happy then, we are fine with it. We will learn to accept her” his lips were pressed into a thin line.

“Hyung..” Namjoon pondered upon Yoongi’s word hard. Why did he do to deserve these guys in his life? Despite the bad choices that he made, they had their back for him without complain.

Another voice came into the picture which startled Namjoon “Joon-ah..Kim Namjoon. Who needs girls if you have us? Our love is enough” said Jin, throwing his arm around Namjoon’s shoulder. Namjoon’s realized other members were already there smiling sadly at his way, he returned it with a genuine smile. They caught his overwhelmed reactions as he turned into a puddle of tears over the welcoming sight in front of him.

Taehyung lurched to his side attacking him with a big hug “Hyunggie, Hyemi nuna just showed you that you have bigger heart than she is. You will soon find your own happy ending, not with Hyemi nuna but with someone better than her” his jaw hung open into his signature smile.

“This time around we will make sure any girl that you like will pass through us first before they can date you!” Jin beamed.

Namjoon laughed at their silliness “Why is it a ‘they’? Are you turning me into a Casanova?” he raised his brows in amusement. Hoseok retorted “Well, just in case we don’t like the girl we will have backup don’t you think? Chill Kim Namjoon, life maybe short, let’s not think about future and live the present” he exchanged their usual fist bump causing the latter to chuckle softly.

“Thank you, for standing by my side even in my worst state, you will always be there. I am sorry that I cause unnecessary worries. I promise I will be better and get over this feeling that I have for her. It is stupid and too good to be truth” his voice was full of regret.

Jungkook and Jimin had a proud smile on their face, watching their precious hyung that was able to finally pull his usual smile on his face. They will never be tired dealing with all the craps happening in their group. It is the recipe of their strong brotherhood.

“Who is up for drinks” Hoseok waved a can of beer accompanied by his sunny smile. So, it was that time of the month again to have a deep shit kind of talk all night. As everyone took their seat on the stool near the counter, Jimin helped to pass one can of beer each to the members except Jungkook.

His lips curved upward into a protest “Hyung…why….” Jimin brows flinched together while shaking his head in disapproval.

“Not tonight gguk. You will get the banana milk” Jimin chided, gliding the small bottle in front of him.

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Tugging clueless Jimin to the corner, Namjoon cleared his throat forcing out the words to come out after his awkward encounter with Seul yesterday. It had been bothering him since then, but he chickened out the last minute when he’s about to inquire Jimin about it.

“Are you going to ask me whether Seul is doing fine?” Jimin boldness taken him aback a little. Namjoon nodded his head frantically, chewing his lower lips showing off his nervousness. “Well, she is a little shaken, but she is doing alright. Don’t worry. I don’t think she will tell anyone about what she heard” he chuckled.

“That was awkward. I was not in the right mind yesterday. I thought Seul was Hyemi nuna. THAT IS SO EMBARASSING CHIMMY!” he facepalmed not liking this thing one bit.

Jimin laughed heartily “I know hyung. Apologize to her when we have the chance to meet her later and talk it out with her” his eyes shrunk into an eye smile.

“Talk it out with who?”

Jimin and Namjoon turned to face the owner of the soft voice, as their head tilted in sync trying to decipher the image in front of them. To their surprise, Seul was standing there awkwardly with a baffled expression across her face.

“I am sorry I didn’t know you guys are still around… I mean it is already 10 in the morning?” Seul squeezed her eyes together. ‘Does it mean, others are here too. Min Yoongi? Jin?’ she mentally cursed.

A soft smile spread across his face “It is just us and Taehyung, others are out for grocery shopping. Did Manager hyung forget to inform ahjumma that we will be staying indoor today” Namjoon watched Seul under his sharp gaze making her a little uncomfortable.

“Ah.. My mom went for her treatment early in the morning, she must be forgotten to inform me” she coughed a little avoiding Namjoon’s gaze that apparently undressing her. Screw Kim Namjoon, he doesn’t need to be that attractive.

Jimin softened when she mentioned Mrs Hwang, before he could ask her further, Namjoon jumped into the conversation “How’s your mother Seul-ssi” he looked at her way timidly.

“She is alright, thanks to the treatment I think she will be able to make it until we find a donor” a sad smile could be seen on Seul’s pale face. Mrs Hwang condition made Namjoon sympathize the older woman even more.

“Was it severe? Her kidney?”

Nodding weakly, Seul clutched onto the hem of her shirt surpassing her tears from hitting the ground “Her kidney has stopped functioning, both of it. She is lucky to be able to live this long since her life is depending on the machine. The hospital is trying to find the perfect donor for my mother” Jimin exhaled a soft breath, pressing his lips together in process.

Namjoon sent an empathy look at her direction “How about your kidney? Doesn’t it match your mother? I am sorry I don’t want to offend anyone, just wondering” Seul chuckled bitterly and it died down as soon as a sigh of regret filled the awkwardness between them.

“My brother and I did not match her, I was frustrated over the fact that we shared the same blood, yet we could not do anything about it” her face revealed all the pain that she could not express in words. Jimin took few steps closer to Seul, embracing the girl briefly “Ahjumma will be alright. Trust me” Namjoon’s eyes widended upon witnessing the scene in front of him. Just when was Jimin became super touchy with her? That was odd considering how they barely met each other.

Seul froze in her trance allowing Jimin’s warmth sipping through her vein, giving her some sort of assurance and security. Her ran his fingers in her soft lock, pulling away from the hug not long after and continued to stare into her eyes deeply “If you need someone to talk to, I will always be here. Now, talk to Namjoon hyung.. He has been dying to see you since yesterday” Seul was under his spell. His soft voice really mesmerized her, and she could feel her bones melted.

Jimin brushed her cheeks with the back of his hand, taking a step backwards giving small space for her to breathe. “See you in a bit” he winked. Seul blushed madly, hiding her face in her hair.

“Talk to her nicely” Jimin mouthed Namjoon with a slight smirk and made his way stealthy to his room. Namjoon was unsure whether he was ready to talk this thing out with her. Not that he was afraid to open up his wound again, facing Seul got him nervous for no reason.

“I am sorry” Namjoon and Seul blurted out in unison.

She rubbed her palms together “You first Namjoon-ssi” he scratched the top of his head a little steadying his breathing. “Look..about yesterday.. I..am sorry that you have to see that. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I..just I-mean I… don’t..I am not..in the right-“ stammering between his words, he attempted to force words that don’t want to be said. Namjoon felt dizzy and breathless.

Seul bit her lower lips watching the guy struggling with his own words and she finally decided it was best to interrupt “Don’t worry, pretend that never happen. I promise I will never bring that up. I am sorry for invading your privacy” she sighed tiredly.

“I am not in the place to say this but since we have come to this, I hope you are holding up well. Love is a funny thing, Namjoon-ssi. You expect it to be easy and to be world of roses. It is more of it once you dwell into it. Love is hard because it makes us grow. It forces us to confront our little demon inside. Love is between two real hearts. If another heart breaks the promises that you build, there is no point in holding onto it anymore” she spouted in one breath.

Awed by Seul’s wise words, Namjoon took the moment to scrutinize her face with so much interest. It was the first real conversation that he had with her, therefore it mesmerized him how a small girl like Seul would have bigger things to say.

She continued “ It is better to break your own heart by leaving rather than having that person to break you heart every day you are with them” her words dissolving into seething mutters to herself. “Oh my god, I am sorry! I got carried away! Forget what I said I mean really, that sounded stupid” she scolded herself as her nose scrunched up cutely not liking her own action.

Namjoon chuckled at her cuteness “You are right about everything. It is better to break my own heart this way rather than getting hurt all over again” he found the thought of ending his complicated relationship with Hyemi was a good thing. His lips pressed into a thin line as he tore his eyes meeting Seul sparkled orbs.

“Thank you Seul-ssi..I understand why Jin hyung is really keen on you. You are different” his compliment melted her heart instantly. Why was he bringing Jin in this matter? What did he mean by Jin was keen on her? To think about this again, it was super crazy.

“I am no one..You are flattering me” she shook her head, “Urm, Namjoon-ssi I think I need to get my job done so I can leave soon. You guys deserve a peaceful rest, I saw how hard you guys worked yesterday” she exclaimed.

“Ah..Dont sweat. Take things real slow, I can help you with the cleaning if you want. It is quite a mess today” he offered but Seul was fast to decline his offer. It was tempting but she’s paid to do this. That would be so wrong to make the boys work.

“No, this is my job. I will get the job done quick. Don’t worry about me”

“Can we drop the formality?” Namjoon suggested something out of context again.

“What?” Seul raised her eyebrows, ever so slightly.

“I heard you are at Jimin’s age, so maybe we can be friends. Plus, you are our caretaker lady. Why don’t we be friends and drop the formality?”

“Do I have the choice what to call you then?” her eyes gleamed with irrepressible humour.

The corner of his mouth quirked as he nodded “So what do you have in your mind?” he challenged.

“Just Namjoon would suffice”

“Just Namjoon?”

“Why? I think that is enough to show our informality”

“But you call Jin hyung, oppa” he stressed.

“Ah, that one. He forced me to call him oppa. I don’t really oppa-ing anyone except for my close friends” cringing at the thought, she grinned widely “So Namjoon would suffice”

“Can’t you call me oppa?” Namjoon demanded.

“Why do you guys so obsess in making me to call you oppa? We will see if I am in the mood to address you oppa. Now please excuse me Namjoon oppa, I have work to do” she nodded and waved her hand while she retreated to tend her job with a smile. Namjoon straightened his clothes while mumbling “Alright then” his eyes followed her until she disappeared behind the kitchen door.

“Oppa…Namjoon oppa” he was not sure why he was smiling, but he could not stop.

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Every second was valuable to her. By anytime soon, the rest of Bangtan members would be back and she was not ready to deal with any of them. Thankfully, Jimin and Namjoon had left her alone to do her job. Taehyung was nowhere to be seen even in his room, she wondered where did he disappear.

She picked up Taehyung’s dirty laundry on the floor and tossed it inside the laundry bag. Before she left, she straightened up the bed, smoothing the sheets, carefully tucking the corners and fluffing the pillows. She glanced round the room which was quite impersonal, but her eyes stopped at the picture frame on the nightstand. The photos look familiar to her like she’s the one in it.

Taking the frame in her hand, she squinted her eyes taking a better look of the ambiguous photo. To be honest, the photo alone was a work of an art. It was too beautiful to be described with words, but little did she know she was admiring herself. As she examined the photo, her eyes landed at the corner of the frame. It surprised her to see a small signature with ‘Vante’ engraved on it.

It came to her realization, this was the photo taken by that strange guy that night who claimed himself to be Vante. How did the photo end up in Taehyung’s room? Did the Vante guy sell her photos to people publicly? The only logical thing that she could ever think was, the Vante guy turned out to be Taehyung. That was impossible!

Seul then continue to search for similar frame inside the room and yes there were few of them. Photos of Bangtan members, the scenery that he took and a photo of himself. Could it be him?

Alarm, mixed with confusion, spread through her in a frightening rush “What are you doing in my room?” she was taken aback by the gruffy voice behind her. It sounded familiar, similar to the Vante guy.

In one straight move, she turned around to face him “You?” Taehyung expression turned from uncertainty into sheer surprise. He could not believe his own eyes that Seul was standing before her in his room. What kind of sorcery was this again! Her eyes widened in astonishment “How did you get this photo?” she inquired to answer her curiosity.

“It is mine...”

“Yours? So, you are Vante?”

“Urm…Yes...i think we met before. You are the tea lady”

“I have name. It is Seul”

“Seul? So you are our caretaker?”

“Seems like it”

“WHAT A SMALL WORLD” his voice going up in pitch at the sheer surprise of it.

She raised her chin “That’s right. You see, I thought you actually-“he words broke off and her eyes widened when Taehyung rushed to her for a big bear hug. Seul stiffened in his tight embrace, it was suffocating but he smelled too good. Warmth sipping through her bodies.

“Glad that I found you again Seul” he whispered deeply leaving a trail of sexiness and manliness in his voice. He rested his chin on top of her head liking the way how small and delicate Seul was in his arm.

Her mind and body were not in sync, part of her wanted to push him away but her body really betrayed her today. It’s like she was destined to stay glue to Taehyung. Out of all members, apart from Yoongi, Taehyung would be the boldest one.

Who hugged during their first meeting? Asians don’t do hugs, why was he being so friendly to her.

This would not do, she needed to escape from this sticky situation again. Just before she could plot a murderous plan to flee from Kim Taehyung, they heard a harsh voice scowling at their way.

“Let her go Kim Taehyung” Yoongi hissed under his sharp breath. He looked like he was ready to murder someone. Stood nervously behind Yoongi was Jung Hoseok, he only cracked a nervous smile at Taehyung way and mouthed the younger guy to comply to Yoongi’s request before things turned even sour.

Releasing Seul immediately from his embrace, Seul inhaled a deep breath finally feeling the oxygen being sucked inside properly hitting her lungs.

“Hyung are you alright?” Taehyung blinked innocently.

Ignoring the younger guy’s question, he marched towards Seul giving the girl no chance to breath and crashed his lips against her ‘WHAT THE HELL. THIS THE THIRD KISS’ Seul screamed in her head desperately.

“HYUNG!” Taehyung and Hoseok yelled in fear.

“MIN YOO-YAH” she mumbled between kisses and as soon as she parted her lips, Yoongi deepened the kisses not caring the protest that he received from the floor. He had enough watching Seul with other guys. That one time with Jimin ticked him off, however he was still in denial with his feelings for Seul.

Now, seeing how Taehyung acting all cosy with her, Yoongi really had enough. He needed to make it clear to everyone that she is his.

“HYUNG YOU ARE HURTING HER!” said Hoseok.

It was exhausting to fight Min Yoongi, she would never win when it came to him. Yoongi pulled away staring at her reddened lips with a smirk “I marked her, remember that” he muttered against her lips, holding onto her body close to his.

Taehyung cringed at the sight still in dazed, he exchanged a wary glance with Hoseok and before he could ask further, Yoongi had already pulled Seul out from the room. Leaving shook Hoseok and Taehyung, Hoseok palmed the wall behind him gulping the heavy lump on his throat.

“What was that….” Hoseok breathed out.

#btscaretaker #btsfluff #btsromance #bts fanfic #btsfic #jungkook x oc #yoongi x oc #yoongi fic #jungkook fic #jungkook romance #Jungkook fluff #yoongi romance #yoongi fluff #jimin x oc #hoseok x oc #jin x oc

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poodlehaircuts-blog · 5 years

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Toy Poodle Haircuts

Great Poodle Haircuts for the next summer season

Poodle Haircuts You’ll Love

Poodles are famous for their soft and curly fur. That’s why Poodle Haircuts are sometimes true masterpieces. These dogs appear at dog shows much more often than other breeds. They are gracious, elegant, and occasionally adorable. Knowing what haircut to give your favorite pet can sometimes be a hassle especially if it seems as if you’ve already tried everything that’s available. When the inspiration fails you, you can find it among other examples. Take a look at what other poodle owners created for their pets, and perhaps you’ll see what you were searching for to make your pet happy.

Best Haircuts for Your Poodle

If you are not sure what kind of Poodle Haircuts is right for your pet, you need to consider the goals. If the purpose of the hairstyle is to keep the little guy happy, make sure to cut the fur as short as possible. The less hair gets in its way; the more comfortable your dog will be. However, if it’s cold outside, make sure to leave enough fur to keep the dog warm. Poodles are afraid of the cold and won’t feel comfortable with short hair in the winter. If you are planning a dog show, then you need to come up with something extraordinary. Take a look at a few examples.

1. Poodle’s Lion Cut

Lion cuts are famous all over the dog universe, but poodles look especially appealing with them. It seems that the poodles were the ones who created it. Make sure to try it at least once.

2. Summer hairstyle

It is a great Toy Poodle Haircuts for the next summer season. You need to keep the fur on the body about half an inch short and leave the hair long on the ears and the tail. A wonderful choice!

3. Plush toy

It’s easy to make your puppy poodle look like a plush toy since their fur is so soft. You need to keep the hair all about the same length but not longer than 1- 1.5 inches. The plush toy is ready!

4. Play dress up

If your puppy didn’t grow long enough fur before the winter came, you might want to consider dressing it up. There are plenty of different dog clothes out there. All you need to do is go shopping.

5. Curly friend

Curly poodles look lovely with short Toy Poodle Haircuts & hairstyles. This poodle haircut requires a careful approach. Cutting curly fur too short can result in getting rid of the cute spirals. So be careful!

About the Poodle Haircuts

The poodle originated from Germany before becoming very popular in France. They come in three types namely standard, toy, and miniature poodle. Poodles were first bred for hunting before they became known as ostentatious pets. They helped German and French hunters by swimming and retrieving the kill in large bodies of water.

dailymotion

So you can already tell that the poodle is an outstanding swimmer. As they worked in cold regions, Poodles developed a thick coat for thermo-protection. However, this hair had to be continuously trimmed to prevent it from feeling heavy when wet. The Poodle’s coat never stops growing and is known to be very hypoallergenic.

A continually growing and large fur coat makes the best canvas for experimenting with Poodle Haircuts Styles. There is plenty of inspiration available today when it comes to poodle hairstyles. Here are some you will love.

English Saddle Cut

This poodle cut is achieved by trimming cute double pompoms on each hind leg. The hair around the pelvic area is trimmed to the same length as the hair on the rest of the Poodle. This particular cut would look chic on a standard poodle which grows taller than the toy and miniature poodle.

Lion Poodle Cut

Lion Cut is the most extravagant cut you can have on a poodle. Ideal for toy poodles, it is characterized by hairless legs with pompoms just above the paws. An extra tuft, just for brags, is trimmed above the hind leg near the tail. The tail is also trimmed round while the rest of the dog’s hair is left untouched. The Lion Cut is also described as the Continental Cut in most toy breed dog shows.

Summer Cut

A well-done summer cut must leave the poodle looking like he is wearing a furry wetsuit. All the hair in the dog’s body is cut to about half an inch short without touching the ears and head. Some trimming is done around the paws to reveal them more and spot that signature summer wetsuit look. The tail is also cut a little while the tip is left untouched.

Plush Toy Cut

This look works great on a toy poodle. It is even better if you have a puppy toy poodle. This poodle cut is the easiest to achieve as you only need to cut all the hair in the body to the same size; usually one to one-half inches. Brush the coat after to make it fluffier and more adorable.

Urban Poodle Cut

If you binge-watch most canine styling competitions, then you must have come across the urban poodle cut. The stylist follows the shape of the poodle’s body as they trim the hair short. The end goal is to achieve a professional and stylish finish that accentuates the poodle’s physique. The tail, head, and legs are then brushed to puff the hairs and make those areas look fluffier.

Have you always wanted to spruce up your poodle’s look? The above Poodle Haircuts Styles are a lovely inspiration to borrow from them. However, you have the freedom to try out more crazy hairstyles to ensure the furry, cuddly fellow looks unique.

Visit The Website for getting more information related to Toy Poodle Haircuts.

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cynthiadshaw · 4 years

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What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey?

Every twist in our story, challenge we face, and obstacle we overcome is an important part of our story. These difficulties make us stronger and wiser and prepare us for what’s ahead. As we grow and succeed we may imagine that soon the challenges will fade away, but in our conversations with business owners, artists, creatives, academics, and others we have learned that the most common experience is that challenges never go away – instead they get more complex as we grow and succeed. Our ability to to thrive therefore depends heavily on our ability to learn from our experiences and so we are asking some of the city’s best and brightest: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?

Aamina Masood | Pastry Chef Entrepreneur

The most important thing I’ve learned on my journey from Computer Engineer to Pastry Chef is that hard work and consistency pay off. Trends come and go but treating someone well never goes out of fashion. I treat all my clients with respect and the quality never falters.

brilliantcakes.com

Johnathan Thrall | Director of operations and Michelle Thrall | Director of Business Development and Marketing

Never stop sowing. God will not bless you with the harvest, but he will provide the seed.

thethrallgroup.com @thethrallgroup @thethrallgroup

Anfeernee Munoz | Designer & Creative Director

Dalia Arriaga

I’ve learned to remain humble, patient, and never try to dampen someone’s success. That is not what Most Hated Clo is about. I’ve learned to stop complaining “why them and not me?” And changed my mentality to “how can I get myself to be that successful like he/she?”

Mosthatedmunoz.com @mosthatedmunoz @mosthatedclo

Alexis Flores | Freelance Videographer/Photographer

Models: @lunarkris @Sheridanlemon

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned so far is that without initiative nothing will happen, you have to be willing to try it even if you know it wont turn out the way you want it to be.

@alexflrs19

Intelligent Comedian | Local Photographer and Video Creator

The most important thing I’ve learned is to not stress about the negativity because it all comes from one’s thought, instead see the beauty to life because at the end of the day photography and film making is all an art, and art can be literally anything. There’s no point in competition but rather admire other people’s creativity.

@intelligent_comedian youtube.com/intelligentcomedian?uid=vtN_59JnxYYGNdT9GSJbkw

Matthew Gatson | Photographer

Patience is key. Everything can’t be rushed so be patient. I have a lot of friends who I see as inspiration and I used to think to myself, “I have to catch up to them somehow”. Doing whatever I can to be as successful as them in such a short time. Nowadays I see them as rivals, my competition, because I know that eventually I’d become as great as them and I know that my time will come when the spotlights on me and when everything that I’ve worked for will come to reality. Once I learned that, it made my life easier and also made me more dedicated to my dreams, Times when I used to think I was falling behind into an entirely different route, I was going down the same as most as slowly catching up without even knowing it. I waited for my turn to become better than I was before and it helped me much more than what I expected.

@shotbymthw

Steve Niedringhaus | Owner | Operator of AB & E Logistics | biker and family man

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is to ensure that you communicate! It is something that you need to do very well and very often. Developing relationships on a personal and business level is how you survive and flourish in both realms of your life – period. A great relationship is something you have to work for. It’s not an automatic gift given to you. Trust me – My wife and I have had to work very hard on our relationship through our 25 years of marriage. It’s not easy work but the gifts a great relationship provide keep you in the game. It keeps you coming back for more and forever working to make it even better. The key to this is communication. To me, It’s no different in business. I provide a service and like most industries it’s highly competitive. You have to set yourself apart and the best way I’ve found to do that is to build relationships based on great communication. I basically complete the same tasks others do in my industry but I take it a step further. I talk to all levels of personnel at the customer any chance I get. I try to build those relationships from the person loading my trailer to the CEO of the company who happens to walk out while I’m loading. I want to ensure they know my name, my companies name and the service I provide and try to get to know them on a personal level. It’s not always price that brings in clients. It’s how they remember you when the next time for them to call on your industry comes up… You want to be that face and personality they remember!

@stevienied @ab_and_e_logistics @abandelogistics

Harlan Bowling | Designer | developer | photographer and full-time traveler

I think the most important lesson I’ve learned (and am still learning!) in my journey is to be authentic and to open your heart and mind to the experiences of others. No one gains anything by keeping everything to themselves, and the willingness to share experiences, creativity and vulnerability with others offers both of you the chance to learn and grow. Sometimes I can wear my heart on my sleeve a bit too much, but I wouldn’t trade those deep moments I’ve had with people because of it for anything.

@grymttrs @grymttrs grymtt.rs

Alissa Fletcher | model/cosplayer

To go with the flow. Work hard but also remember everything happens for a reason.

bunniecupcakes.com @bunniecupcakes

Sydney Kurtz | Data Analyst | Rise Nation Instructor, & Dallas Fitness Ambassador

Perseverance is absolute key. If you set your mind to it and don’t give up, whatever goal you want can be achieved. There are no great successes without failures.

@sydney.kurtz @dallasfitnessambassadors @texasspiceonlamar @omnidallas

Kerry L. Gipson Jr. | Comedian KG or “Komedian KG™

Addison Improv, Arlington Improv, Hyenas Comedy Clubs, Joke Joint, Gulley’s Comedy Event Center, Dayton Funnybone, Cleveland Improv, Backdoor Comedy Club, The Comedy Theater(Little Rock, AR), HaHa Café, LA Comedy Club, and more… During the start of his career, Komedian KG has networked with many great names of entertainment as well from; Robert Powell III, Talent Da’ Comedian, Finess Mitchell, Ronney Jordan, Jason Russell, Blame The Comic, Lil Duval, Carl Payne From “Martin Lawrence TV show, Christopher “Kid” Reid, Flo Hernandez, Shaun Larkins, Shun Jones, Flex Alexander, Dameon “Mr. Entertainment” Ellis, Kool Bubba Ice, Rodney Perry, Kenny Howell, Quinn Hudson (BET), HA HA Davis, Sydney Castillo, Clint Coley, Dean Lewis (Last Comic Standing), Ryan Davis, Roy Lee Pete(R.I.P), Comedian Michael Shawn (K104 Radio), IBF Boxing Champion Errol Spence Jr. and Dallas Rapper Yella Beezy

During the start of my career on this journey, I’ve learned that standup comedy is a small group of entertainers that has been growing rapidly due to internet and social media. Every day a new stand out talent is discovered. I’ve learned that social media has changed the way standup comedy and how comedy is portrayed to it’s audiences and viewers. As this rapid approach to spotlighting talent via social media is occurring, you must be adaptable with keeping up this change, creative and innovative with your ideas that will allow you to go the distance in your career. Stand-up comedy isn’t like any other career in entertainment, the level of difficulty to rely a story, message, and/or joke from your personal point of view will always cast judgement and opinion from others. Being able to expand your routine will help overcome these challenges as a standup comic. Change is inevitable in the career of entertainment and performing arts and you have to remain humble, stay focus on your goals, learn the business and soak up and filter all advice as you go. Never be afraid to learn and innovate new ideas!. Dallas, Texas is growing with new talent in every genre of entertainment and performing arts, and will someday be one of the world’s premiere go to places for pursuing entertainment as a career in the near future.

@komediankg @komediankg @komediankg @komediankg reverbnation.com/artist/video/15554643 soundcloud.com/komediankg youtube.com/channel/UCrgolqahdIyUYRyP5Ea5NPw komediankg.webs.com

Gigi Davison | Hair Stylist, Makeup Artist & Aerialist

The most important lesson I’ve learned on my journey so far is that I am the creator of my own path; and take advantage of opportunities… they always lead to more.

@gigioligy @beauty_bygigi @mrs.gigid

Wayward Coffee Co. | Mobile Craft Coffee & Community

Jason Arreola

We’d say the most important thing we’ve learned so far, even though this is all new to us and we have a whole lot of work to do ahead, is that you have to just go for it. Each of us has had a dream at some point to start their own coffee business and we had to just take that passion and drive and finally do it. It has all come together in such a cool way and we’re real thankful for it. We’re so stoked about this and we want to make it the most unique, meaningful, genuine thing ever and bring so many other people along for the ride with us.

@waywardcoffeeco

Neil Kenner | Coach of Movement, Mindset, and Holistic Lifestyle

I resigned from my job as the SMU Women’s Assistant Tennis Coach in May of 2018 to embark on what I defined as a “Learning Journey,” so the lessons have been coming in literally nonstop. If I had to pick just one lesson, I would say that the ability to have patience and maintain self-belief throughout the journey has been the biggest. To expand on that, there are a lot of people out there who urgently strive to fill their schedules as quickly as possible. That may be the perfect protocol under certain circumstances or at a particular stage in life, but doing just the opposite has been my recent approach.

When I first started coaching, I said an emphatic YES to everything. My schedule was completely packed with private lessons, groups, tournament coaching, event planning, and anything else a tennis club could offer. I prided myself in taking no days off. After all, I was making pretty good money for a young single guy, developing a solid reputation as a coach, and gaining a crazy amount of experience in very little time. In my five years coaching at T Bar M Racquet Club, I must have experienced the equivalent of 15 years when compared to most. It was nonstop, and everything I did lead to growth.

A decade later, I find myself in a much different position. Rather than viewing a full schedule of lessons as a symbol of success, I now consider it a growth-stunting trap. Time is the ultimate item of value to me now, specifically having control over my own time. Sure, there are compromises that sometimes need to be made, but leaving enough open time and space in my schedule is what has allowed me to make this dream journey a reality. For much of the past year and a half, I chose to use that time to LEARN as much as I could from the resources that I felt were most applicable. Later on, I began shifting my focus more into digesting and then organizing all the new information into a form that made sense to me. Then more time went into applying this stuff into my own practice and combining it with what I’ve learned throughout my career. Just now am I at the point where I am ready to CREATE – which is what I love to do. One of the few things that I love more than creating is being able to SHARE my creations with others as a means to help improve lives, so the ability to begin doing so has been incredibly fulfilling.

Spending lots of my current time in creation mode and now getting a taste of sharing is only the beginning, and none of it would have been possible without PATIENCE. Had I panicked and begun filling my schedule with lessons again, I would most-likely not have had the time and energy required to achieve my bigger goals. So yes, PATIENCE has been my most important takeaway – and unwavering SELF-BELIEF has gone hand in hand with it.

@neilkenner

Chris Mendez | Realtor®️ & Dog lover

@annmariemendezphotography

In my journey, I have been able to learn that everything is possible if you set your mind to it. It may sound like a cliche, however, we are capable to achieve great things in life if we develop our mindset and put it to work. You are the one that can make it happen. Your mind is a dream and goal achieving machine. YOUR DESTINY is dependent on your DECISIONS.

@chrismendez_realtor @chrismendezrealtor LinkedIn: chris-mendez chrismendez.brayreg.com

Chidimma LaQueen Nwosu | Blogger/Influencer

For as long as I can remember I have always been the chubby girl who was shy and lacked confidence. I let people’s opinions of me tell me who I was. I never really knew who I was and this persisted into my adult years. After college a couple years ago, I decided to take on a healthier lifestyle and with that I lost weight. A lot of people think this would be the end all be all and you’re automatically happy, but more often than not, this is not the case. I still struggled a bit with my identity. Sure, my self-esteem went up, but I still was not internally happy and still lacked self-confidence. A little over a year ago, I moved to Dallas from Maryland to attend chiropractic school. Usually when you move to a new area, it is a chance to start over and meet new people. This was very hard for me and immediately felt out of my comfort zone. I retreated to myself and for the first time in my life I felt homesick. After the holidays and a few life changing moments, I decided that I need to get to know myself and really portray how I want the world to see me. Thus, began my selflove / body positive journey. I was terrified in the beginning, but in order to achieve the goal I set out I had realized that with uncomfortability comes strength. After a while I noticed that my vulnerability allowed me to own and embrace everything that makes me, me. Not only that, I also received messages from women saying that I have encouraged them to do the same. Knowing I have helped at least one person, is by far one of the best feelings ever! Society loves to tell women what we should be doing, from an outfit you shouldn’t wear because of your size to what lipstick you shouldn’t use because of your complexion. But when we come together to support and empower one another the sky is the limit. We can be any shape, size, or color and still run the world. In my 26 years of living, I have never felt so empowered and confident. This is not a one and done journey, life is ever changing. I look forward to the changes to come and will continue to share. If I can do it, you can do it too. Accept yourself for who you are first and everything will fall into place. There is so much more beauty in life when you change the narrative into something positive. Lessons I’ve learned along the way is that regardless of what I do, I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Whoever or whatever is meant for me will always be for me and no one person can take that away from me. I also learned that the tongue has power. Speak to yourself with kind and positive words because what you speak is what you create.

@ChidimmaLaQueen

BRYSON PRICE | Music Producer & Artist

Balance in life is KEY. You see a lot of musicians rise to the top, then fall off the map a couple years later. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I’m still a long way from achieving my goals, but I’m taking my time and doing things right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in! I’m putting forth my BEST effort and giving it all I’ve got, but it’s possible that I’ll never “make it.” Music is my passion, but I feel that the most important thing is my spiritual health, physical health and my family. Slow growth is much more sustainable than overnight success and I’m working hard towards my goals every single day. There’s no shortcuts..I’m making the best use of my time, grinding day in and day out, while making sure that my life is balanced.

BrysonPrice.com youtube.com/channel/UCImrrfbrWlax3REURMR7twQ @bryson.price.35 @BrysonPrice

Bryan Valadez | Visual Artist and Determined Individual

The most important lesson I have learned in my journey so far can be best described with the word perseverance. Throughout my years of painting I have come across personal challenges such as critical self reflection of my abilities, wondering if audiences will react well to my work, or even questioning the probability of being able to make it as a visual artist.

Although in these instances it has always been the act of striving to move forward despite any difficult situation, which has allowed me to grow. If there were doubts about my skills as an artist, I would push myself to become better with practice. If I wondered how people would react to my work, I would suggest to myself to keep working because I am making art to express myself. If fear of not being able to achieve success as visual artist were to arise, I remind myself that I’m devoted to achieve my goals and in fact I am hungry for success. With that in mind could I come to a conclusion and maintain constant progression. A vital lesson not only evident in my journey’s past but also applied to whatever I approach now.

@vala_alla_b @bvaladezart

Cameron Taylor | Visual Leader & Photographer

That it is okay to not be in the same place as everyone else. With access to social media we tend to compare ourselves to our peers and even people we have never met. With things such as age barriers, financial differences and overall different circumstances it’s not fair for anyone no matter your social stature to put yourself against someone else or to bring yourself down cause you may not “be where someone else is in life”. It’s honestly a huge self love thing that I had to learn the hard way when for so long I thought I did love myself and was happy where I wasn’t and to find out I wasn’t in my mid twenties was a huge and rattling wake up call. I have expanded my time to utilizing social media to not just post about my life, granted I do that haha, but to also have conversations with people, make friends online and to unplug every once and awhile. The self love you have for yourself is so huge and I’m still learning each day on this journey called life how to get better and better at it.

@okcamcam longleglifestyle.com

Dr. Ragan Brown | Educator | Author | Self Care Influencer | Travel Specialist, and Academic Coach

Life as a Self Care Influencer began by me posting various positive quotes on my Instagram and Facebook page. Soon it developed in a career that affords me the opportunity to help others go from chaos to calm. Early in life I knew my gift was encouragement relatability and relief. However it took a while to come to the realization that being a light when others see darkness is truly part of my assignment. Many days there are battles and struggles with the idea of am I truly cut out for this journey. There are days when leads and sales opportunities happen and then there are days when you are pulling your hair out. Honestly, I question myself almost everyday. However every no, detour, and under construction. One of the most important lessons of this journey is that it multifaceted, which is a beauty all by itself. As an entrepreneur, you develop strength, that you didn’t know you possessed. Another important lesson on my journey is that it simply is a journey. It’s not a race or a destination. Although we feel that we should go with the crowd, on the entrepreneurship journey you must take “the road less traveled.” roadblock has some sort of lesson attached. Overall faith keeps me focused. Traveling through life as an entrepreneur is multifaceted. There are several layers to maneuvering your business. I wouldn’t say you completely master it, because you are always learning and growing from various situations. This journey has also led to multiple collaborations. From book anthologies to lifestyle photo shoots to commercial advertising and speaking gigs to help empower young women. These past few years I have realized how multifaceted and This entrepreneur journey has helped me to be a risk taker. Often times, I have to take a risk on investments that don’t yield monetary returns. Because of this, I have gained business buddies, and people who are just as passionate about my success as I am about their success. As a risk taker I have also invested in various projects and businesses in an effort to have multiple streams of income aside from that I recently embark on a new journey as a travel agent to further stress all things self-care. Almost every other day, I just want to give up as I continue to hone in on my niche. In the beginning, things were simple because I remained in the academic coaching box. As life became a whirlwind, opportunities were presented which required me to have a business growth spurt. My support system of family and friends remain a fixture for me as they keep me centered and grounded. The Lord has also connected me divinely to like minded individuals to propel me, push my buttons, and hold me accountable. As a business owner, I’m most proud of my growth, versatility and willingness to learn more. Sometimes it appears as the stars aren’t aligning, but when I revisit the core of why I chose an entrepreneur journey. I thank God over and over for choosing me to complete these assignments and bless others.

@drbrownconnection FB: Ragan Brown

Christopher Jenkins |Personal Trainer and Nutritionist at Grizzly Fitness and Herbalife nutrition

I use my journey to get through everything in life. The most important lessons I’ve learned in my journey is to first have faith and trust God; Even when I couldn’t see or understand. Proverbs 3: 5-6 states, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” I’ve learned that it takes motivation and dedication to achieve your goals. Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” This is my motto because without God giving me the strength, this weight loss would of been impossible. It took much encouragement from my Pastor Calvin Wortham, Patrick Jefferson, my entire family and church family, and my brother and coach Alsce Crocker.

@gohustlapeewee

@GoHustlapeewee Facebook: Christopher Alonzo Jenkins Snapchat: peewizzle24

Myda Chapa | DFW realtor with Coldwell Banker Apex

One thing I have learned is to always keep an open mind and just go for it!

@mydachapa

Makya Love | Computer Science Engineer & Aspiring Model

@drivenimage

The most important lesson I have learned as a young model is that my journey is unique and far different from other aspiring models. It’s so easy to get distracted by others’ journey and their success. In the beginning of my modeling journey I used to dwell on the progress of other models around me, instead of focusing on my own progress. Later down the line, I learned quickly that the more I compared my journey to others, the more distracted I was from fulfilling my own journey 100%. So, keeping my eyes steady and ahead on my individual career path has been the most important lesson learned thus far.

@especiallymakya @especiallymakya youtube.com/channel/UCvgzPmiqKygMMyigT_wLv5g

Jacky Alberto | Hairstylist & Online Boutique Owner

Alex Gonzalez

The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to stop fearing and overthinking, just do it. For the longest time I’ve had several ideas, goals, and dreams but I found myself fearing the “what if it doesn’t work out” and being very self critical with my own work and ideas that I allowed that to become paralyzing in my journey which just kept me stagnant. This year I’ve learned to just take a leap of faith and trust God. I believe he places these thoughts, ideas, dreams, and passions in our hearts for a reason. If we don’t go for it then the years will just pass us by and we are left with regret of things we wished we would’ve went for. I’ve gotten a taste of what “shooting your shot” feels like with some of my goals and dreams and I’ve built momentum from that, it’s definitely been one of the best decisions ever!

fash-cultureboutique.com @fash.culture

Madeline Reid | Wedding and Lifestyle Photographer

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey of capturing life moments, is that every single person has a different story and a different way of expressing their story! The best way to capture people’s individual moments in the way that highlights their story best is to actually get to know your clients. Ask them about their life, what they do, where they work, what are their interests? what keeps them going? When you know someone for who they are rather than “just another client”, you are able to capture their story in a whole new way, and the photos end up being so much better!

Madelineanikkaphotography.com @madelineanikkaphotography

Ashton Danora | Capturing Purpose Through Lens

This year has been really challenging. Throughout this week, I really had to sit down and think about what I learned about myself through the journey of 2019. What stood out the most is learning how to be present. I am always planning for the future and I tend to forget about, for the lack of a better word, the “now”. I used to be so focused on tomorrow’s agenda, or a week from now…and I would miss out on the blessings and opportunities of the present. As this year has flown by, the last three months of 2019 will be dedicated to seizing the moments that come to me.

@_ashton.danora

Cynthea Thomas | Entrepreneur & Jewelry Designer

Olivia Friesen with Copper Curls Photography

A lesson I have learned is to never compare myself to others. By doing this I don’t progress to where I want to be and it’s not a great place to be in. I am unique in my own way and I want to spread joy and love through what I create during my journey.

royalmadnessdesign.com @royalmadnessdesign @royalmadnessdesign @Cyntheyeahh

RJ Monae | Fitness Coach

The most important lesson I’ve learned so far is, “”You have to change to grow and to grow you have to change”. I think we all expect change throughout our lives. The mistake many make is that we don’t change personally. We hope to be the same in every area of our lives and not realizing that a different version of “”YOU”” is required. The key to change is “”YOU””. I learned that about seven years ago and begin to put pieces of my life back together.

I had to learn things don’t always happen the way we want them to. We tend to give up then accept things as they are. The action of not accepting leads to depression, weight gain, health issues, and stress levels. Don’t be hard on yourself; embrace every mistake, failure, disappointment, and heartache. I have been in health and fitness for about seven years. I officially started fitness coaching about four years ago to coach people through the process of change and becoming the best version of themselves. Many already know what to do; they need someone to guide and educate them to make the best choices for their lifestyle needs.

I have been a mentor and coach for 14 years. I have dedicated my life to help others become the person they’ve always wanted to be. My health, fitness, and lifestyle have taught me no matter what area or stage you are in your life, change is required. In the past seven years, I have worked to claim my independence back. Now, I want to help others to reclaim theirs through health and fitness because it’s never too late. “Don’t be afraid to change, be afraid to STAY the same”.

@rjmonae @rj.monae @rjmonae RJMONAE.COM

The post What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

source http://voyagedallas.com/2019/12/19/whats-important-lesson-youve-learned-along-journey/

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lilithreposeinshadow-blog · 7 years

Text

I have a dark side

Fuck.

Seriously, fuck.

Getting my words out, getting them out there, being heard. It’s this itch that has to be scratched. My journal wont do it. My facebook is the wrong format. I’m not here to bring anyone down, but fuck I am not happy all the time and I don’t know where to put all of those other feelings.

I live in the mountains. Well, in the valley of granite cliffs. They surround me and thieve the horizon. Every close friend/confidant I have lives in another state.. the ones I make out here keep leaving, either this place or my life.

Even when close ones are near and available, my thoughts and feelings spin and swirl so much that I feel like it is too much for them to take on. And that’s at no fault of their own, it’s not a fault of mine either. It’s the role of the therapist that I need. And I had, back in Philly.

Therapy was expensive, but I loved my therapist, I miss him. He was fucking handsome, which hurt. I had never felt more heard and understood by a man, a handsome, young, amazing man, who I absolutely could not have. When I was depressed, that was pretty hard. I probably should have found a different therapist. He was so damn good though.

I feel a lot. I feel a lot of conflicting feelings. I feel one way one day, and the next quite the opposite. I feel at peace, then incredibly impatient. My spirit wants to rip out of me, longing for whatever it is I’m longing for... and either the pressure is too much and I turn to it, or something else, for relief... or somehow it softens.

My feelings come and go in phases. For weeks I’ll be stuck in a thought, stuck in anger, stuck in desire, stuck in frustration, suck in anxiety. Then, life will happen, things open up, and my heart shifts.

Right now.... right now I’m mad. I’m angry. I’m angry at men.

I’m angry at men and then I’m angry at myself. Dating is a trip, and I don’t think I handle it well.

I had a boyfriend in high school for over two years. He was my rock. We were Christian and were going to be abstinent, but then I suggested we try sex.

We had been fooling around for a good while, and enjoyed each other. Growing up in the South, my sexual education was shaming and frightening. It wasn’t until I had a friend who had sex, and enjoyed it, and wasn’t upset or depressed or mad or sad - that I was like, hey, J, let’s do this!

And we did. And it was okay. Short. Sweet. Short. Scary. We only did it a few times, and we both felt so afraid of being caught, or pregnant, or judged, that we stopped. I suggested we stop. J was really good to me.

Then I left him. And I don’t think I’ve been honored or resepected the same way since.

Yeah, we were in high school, and no I don’t think he and I would have been the right match long term... but who knows? He wont befriend me, I’ve tried.

What I’m getting at here is sex.

Since then I’ve had a good handful of partners. Casual partners, romantic partners, passionate partners, regrettable partners. It’s been a mess, honestly.

I didn’t have sex from the time I was 17 until I was 19, close to 20. I was afraid of it, I was in a new city and didn’t have people, and I just didn’t need it. But then I had my next bf, and he taught me how sexually attractive I am. See, I’m a skinny girl, and the media makes young girls think it’s good to be skinny, but damn if your tits are THAT small, yeah... you might wanna fix that at some point. I thought I needed curves and cleavage and definitely not be so bony.

Turns out, what I’ve got going on, plenty of people like. And that’s likely true for every body type. And I’m grateful to the second boyfriend, who showed me the real ropes with sex, and who improved my confidence tremendously. That relationship wasn’t... the best? It wasn’t awful but there was definitely some belittling and shaming and guilting and crap that eventually I got myself out of.

The community I found were partiers. They were fun/are. They are wonderful people who I have so much love for. But what’s valued there is sex, drugs, music, dancing, self expression, and fun. Yes they help each other out, but not always. And fuck, if you bring up sad or too real shit at a party, gtfo. And a lot of times, it was hard to see any of them if I weren’t at a party... So... When can I lean on you, friend? When is it my turn to cry in your arms? Why is it I will drop anything to hold you in this room while everyone is partying, but when I bring up real shit in my life, people just turn away, tell me not to worry about, tell me it’s not the right time.

When is the right time to be heard?

When?

So I’m angry. Yeah, I’m angry at men.

When I was with that second boyfriend, and he was showing me the ropes sexually, I remember thinking, “I’m gunna get really good at this.” And I did. I’m a great lay. I’m sexy. I’m freaking hot in bed. I’m a tease, I know all the good spots and good ways. I’m hot. And men really like it. Like, a lot.

My sexuality is my honey. I draw men in with my smile and my flirting, then, when the time is right, I show off my talents and I dazzle. And then they’re hooked. They want more, and I get what I was hoping for. Some attention, some affection, some intamacy.

But, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, it doesn’t last. It just DOESN’T.

I give myself, my whole entire self. I look in your eyes and I flatter you with kisses and compliments, favors and gifts. I flutter around, catching your eye... and then you wonder. Your gaze drifts, your attention shifts.

I can feel it, okay? I really do feel it as soon as that shift happens. It’s like an iceberg that breaks and slides a part, and hundreds of miles away, the wave of it passes over my feet, and I just know. It’s not a normal wave like the ones before and after, that was a shift. That was a change.

And then there I go. I can’t help myself. I bring it to attention, I say, hey, what was that? Where did you go? Where is your heart now? And it’s too much. I’m too much. I want too much. I expect too much.

These men, these climbers. These men. Like I said before, I am mad at them, but then I’m mad at me. I’m mad at myself because I know it will be. I see it coming for miles, I can see through them. I know the men I find most attractive are unavailable. They’re explorers, adventurers, travelers. They’re climbers and fire fighters and rangers. They’re seasonal, they’re just coming through, they don’t live near by. I know it’s all fucking doomed, but my dreamer heart catches me.

They’re so damn handsome is the problem. Or something.

I look at them, all those different men I’ve let myself get attached to know have no intention of being a real partner to me, and I see their tenderness and they show me a piece of their heart.

See, that’s what the honey does. It’s so sweet and lovely that it opens you up. I get a peek of what’s underneath and I think that’s also the problem, they aren’t ready.

I am intimate. I am deep, I am raw. Sexually, that is exciting. But what happens during sex doesn’t stay in the bedroom. Intimacy is made, yet there’s no foundation there. There’s nothing to hold it. It’s like this beautiful orchid, suspended, it’s roots reaching down and out, with nothing to sink into. It’s going to fall, and it will absolutely be damaged after it does.

I get mad at myself because I see this cycle so clearly, yet I’ve failed many times at avoiding it.

My hair stylist in Philly is a semi-mentor to me in my mind, and she once told me “just don’t have sex with them, it confuses things and it always makes it harder to see things as they are”. That was over three years ago and I wish I had started listening to her right away. I’ve had a lot of fun with men in bed since then, but I’ve been hurt. A lot.

Why am I angry with men?

Because they don’t want me!

They don’t want the real me. They fucking don’t.

I’m damaged, dude. Like for fucking real. I’ve been through some fucked up shit and just because I’m on the other side of it, just because my childhood is over, does not mean I’m not still completely baffled and destroyed by some of those events. I don’t even understand how what things affect me in which ways, but I see it, I see my trauma creep into my thinking and behavior and I don’t always have the wisdom and strength to rise above it.

I have a dark side.

I am so angry at quite a couple of people right now. People who have left me, who I feel abandoned by. Shut out, left behind, completely discarded. And see, this is where this all comes together. I was neglected, like legit, when I was a baby and young child. Physically, mentally, and emotionally neglected. I am only alive today because of my siblings.

Straight up I would have starved or died of disease or accident had they not been there. Thank God they were.

So. Abandonment issues. Check. Yep. Got ‘em.

So when you fuck me until you come, and then don’t even bother texting me the next day, no THAT DOESN’T SIT WELL WITH ME.

No, I am not that chill.

Fuck you for not calling, for not wanting to hear my voice, my stories, my jokes.

Fuck you for fucking me after Christmas, then breaking up with me two days later. Fuck you for buying me a child sized fucking climbing helmet. Fuck you for giving me a framed photo of us. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Fuck you for being so fucking appreciative of tiny wonderful things about me, then so casually exiting my life. Fuck you for just dropping me like that, so easily. Who the fuck are you? How... how how how do you do that?

Fuck. You.

But... fuck me, right? Because I knew. I knew they would do this. I have no fucking faith in the decency of men.

Besides me therapist.

But he’s off fucking limits. smh. (thanks for that, God. What a tease.)

So what do I do?

How do I exit this cycle and start receiving the kind of love and support I offer up so easily to men who enter me and my life...

Is it really as simple as closing my legs?

I’ve thought about and tried to “take it slow” and “wait” with a guy... but that’s never lasted longer than like three or four dates MAX.

I have desire. I am sexual. I like pleasing, but I’m starting to realize I like pleasing so much partially because as it’s happening, I feel like I’m gaining some kind of ground with the partner. Like, “Oh yay, he likes how I suck his dick, this must mean he’ll like me more in general”... sad. But so fucking true. And does anyone talk about this?

Do the women amongst me who are also living in this hook-up culture see things this way at all? Do they struggle with this perdiciment?

I want to be deisred, but I also want to be valued. I want to be fallen for, not just fucked and left. But the latter is what happens. It really is. Maybe the former is a myth. That’s what I keep thinking, it must be bullshit.

But then I see it, I see people who genuinely care for each other. What I notice, what catches my eye, is when I see men. Men doing those things for their partner that I’d do any day for mine. Grabbing a milkshake for them to bring back to the girl, where she’s chilling. Or taking time away from adventures to spend quality time with their partner because they WANT TO. Or families who are actually staying together. My sister in law, who always goes to my brother’s appointments with him, and the other way around. I can’t fathom that kind of love, that kind of support.

My dad travels for work and my step mom never did a thing for us without making it known she’d prefer not to be. Every appointment, meeting, car ride, meal, phone call.. it was a chore she hated. I didn’t join teams or clubs because I didn’t want to have to ask her to give me a ride. Not being dramatic, it was just that way.

So here I am in the dating world, longing to be cared for and treated with sweetness, but not knowing at all what’s reasonable or fair. Not having any reference point as to what I should expect or deserve.

There are moments, when I’m held close by a lover, or given just the right compliment, when I feel secure. I feel supported. I feel wanted. And then...

poof.

Gone. In the blink of an eye it’s over and it’s gone and I’m wondering how I ever let myself feel safe. I was lying to myself, I know that. I was lying about how I knew they felt about me. I knew they didn’t know me. I knew I’d scare them off. And I did. I do.

So damn, is that it? Do I just need to stop having sex with these men? Is it better to be alone, sexless, and alone, than to be used and tossed out?

That sounds like a dumb question when you put it that way, it really does.

Yeah I’d rather be alone than feel just as gross as the used condom you just pulled off your dick does.

So fuck it, I’m done fucking.

I doubt I’ll get any closer to finding a partner, bc again my faith in men is so fucking slim, but hey... maybe I’ll feel less used.

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chimswae · 4 years

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BTS Caretaker CH18

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,121

Previous | Next

Chapter 18

“To earth Ji Seul, why you look extremely lost these days?” Mrs Hwang nagged while her hand place the pancake swiftly filling the empty plate. Exhaling a tired sigh, Seul pinched the bridge of her nose easing the tense in her head. Her mother was not convinced with her answers, so she probed from Seul again “Did something happen at work? With the boys again? Or were you caught by their managers?” she bombarded her with questions.

Seul grimaced “It has nothing to do with the boys. Thankfully, I didn’t bump into any of them these days. They must be busy” her tone of voice was rather confusing at that time. Mrs Hwang on the other hand noticed the discomfort on her daughter’s face.

“If it has nothing to do with any of the boys, why Jin sent me a text in the middle of night just to ask your whereabouts?”

Seul look dumfounded as she flinched upon hearing Jin’s name “Why is he texting you and asking my whereabouts?” she mumbled with a little confusion evident across her face. As far as she concerned, the last text that they exchanged was two days ago. A simple new year message with a smiley emoji at the end of it, and she did give him a quick reply afterwards.

“According to Jin, he couldn’t reach you since yesterday”

“Why is he so clingy? What a mama boy, you are not even his mother. You are mine” Seul rolled her eyes in annoyance. Now, Jin went behind her back just to annoy her. Great.

“Technically, I raised those boys. They can claim me as their mother whenever they want. So, did you actually check your phone?” the older woman raised her eyebrows with so much interest. Most likely her interest was focusing on Seul’s love life. Considering how Jin would always come to her after his fail attempt to reach Seul, it appeared a little too fishy to her.

Her replied was a short no yet she quickly grabbed her phone to look for Jin’n text. Seul bit her lower lips reading through Jin’s message that sounded unimportant at first however her eyes rounded upon reading the last text left by him.

“OH MY GOD!”

“What? Why? What did Jin say?” glancing at Seul’s bewildered expression trigger her curiosity.

“OH GOD! I TOTALLY FORGOT!” she patted her forehead softly, humming to some low cusses. Unamused, Mrs Hwang gave her daughter a stern look still waiting for her answers, and the panic girl finally spoke up “They are filming their music video today, so Jin has already placed an order from our store a week ago. A food support for the staffs! I totally forgot about that. And I am in charge of it. Shoot, how can I forget that!”

“Tsk, Ji Seul when will you stop this clumsiness of yours”

She took a glance at her phone screen again “I only have three hours to prepare the thing” grunting under her breath, she tapped her fingers on the table nervously.

“And why are you still here? Go, before you upset your client!” her mother gave her a final look accompanied by a soft flick against her forehead making the girl squirmed. Pouting away the pain that consumed her, she leaned in giving her mother a quick peck on the cheek.

“I will get going now, don’t forget your treatment today. I have reminded Hoon about it, he is free this evening and will pick you up. Don’t go alone mother” she reminded her like an old grandmother causing the older woman to chuckle in her seat.

She nodded “Alright old woman, stop nagging me. Now, go!”

“Bye mother” with a final wink, clumsy Seul strutted to the main door with one hand tying her shoelace and other hand clutching onto phone near her ears. It would be one hell of a day if she failed to deliver it as requested. Her friendship with Seokjin was that close to the extent of exchanging the information of their personal life. The only thing he knew was Seul had another job which wasn’t only caretaking the boys, and that she worked in a tea shop.

Therefore, it led to this task that she’s willing to do for Jin.

----------------

“Alright that cup should go that way, you don’t want them to knock it off when they line up later” Seul scanned the truck diligently making sure they reposition the things that she pointed out few seconds ago. With a satisfied smile, Seul beamed “That will do! Thank you” the male shot her a grateful smile and proceed with other job.

Thanks to Wongeun, she was able to complete everything within two hours since the guy kept on track of special services requested by their client making it easier for Seul tending her job. She arrived at the filming location that was set one hour away from the city. An abandoned building, and it was intimidating at first but as soon as her eyes laid on the vehicles and staffs working on the other side put her at ease. At least she was heading to the right place.

One of the staffs in her early 30’s walked up to Seul with a friendly smile “Are you here for BTS food support from Armys?” she tilted her head scrutinizing the banner hanging loosely against the truck.

“Oh no, this is actually BTS food support for the staff. They have personally hired our shop to deliver it for everyone” her small eyes rounded as if trying to process the information that she just received and soon to be replaced with a wide grin.

“Really? We are not aware of it! Thank you, I will bring you to meet their manager then. We are filming the last scene at the 4th floor” she escorted Seul as she nodded willingly, tailing the friendly staff from back. Seul had to find warmer place, her white was turning a rosy in the cold.

Gnawing at the area, Seul was amazed to see the huge set prepared for the filming. The filming set was even colder indoor, though it was dusty, she could see staffs running from every corner tending their job patiently. Since this was her first time, she was a little excited to witness everything in live. Every nook and cranny of the area were filled with staffs and expensive equipment. That made this thing turned into a little dreamy for herself. Not that she ever imagined taking a step into such a large set, it was more amazing to be able to witness the boys danced to their new songs before her.

Hiding behind the staffs, she took a peak at the loud music boomed across the room. She heard shuffled of footsteps against the dirty floor, they were dancing hard. Amused Seul could not take off her eyes at the boys dancing to the music so perfectly and every step taken by them were super on point.

Who could stop these babytan. They were beyond amazing.

She noticed how their hair colour had changed following their upcoming back. Even though, she was watching them attentively, Seul made sure to be careful just in case one of the boys noticed her presence there. Facing the boys were the last thing that she ever wanted today.

Light taps on her shoulder brought her out of her dreamy state “Miss, the manager is still out for an errand, but he requested you to wait in the waiting room” Seul smiled and complied to her words. Taking a last glance at the boys, she didn’t realize her eyes met Jungkook’s causing the maknae to lose focus for a second.

“Cut! I think we need to retake one more time, Jungkook’s part is not in sync with others” the director exclaimed.

Jungkook bowed deeply “I apologize for my mistake Director-nim”

“Nah, it is alright. You guys have danced for an hour non-stop. Let’s take five!” Jungkook’s eyes were diligently looking for that one person that he hopped to see ever since the new year night. Ever since the thing he had with Seul three weeks ago, he had no time to visit the girl. Another thing was that, he totally forgot to ask for her number instead he just fled into thin air that night without a word.

What would she think of him?

“Jungkook-ah, your makeup next to be fixed” said one of the stylists making the younger guy to turn to her with a blank expression getting ready to be pampered again.

------------

Hoseok was monitoring their individual shots from the cameras while cackling excitedly. Stood beside him was sleepy Jin, whom ended up laughing along to Hoseok sudden outburst as they made fun of each other. When Jimin’s individual shot came in slow motion, the two older guys hollered “Look at Jiminie! He looks so squishy here” Hoseok retorted.

“I look super awkward here, look at my hand” pointed Jimin with a small pout.

“No, you are not! You look great, this look need to be protected at all cost” Jin smug proudly, resting one of his arms on Jimin’s shoulder. Namjoon’s butt in, chuckling away showing off his dimple “How did you stroke your hair like that? Does this hair need to be comb all the time” the leader teased Jimin only to receive a small whack from Jimin across his arm.

“I think Namjoon hyung looks the coolest when he raps” Jimin returned the compliment earnestly. To be truth, Namjoon is a cutie behind the camera but when he’s on camera his character change instantly as he’s living up to the name, Rap Monster. The boys would always spend their times monitoring each other during the break and ended up with compliments or mere tease just to liven up the mood.

Yoongi on the other side was getting his hair styled back to its original state earlier this morning, and immediately snapped his head to the boys’ direction upon he heard his name being summoned.

“Yoongi hyung running is as funny as me running” Namjoon gruffy giggled garnered the older guy’s attention.

“YAH KIM NAMJOON I HEARD THAT” Yoongi scowled with a meaningful glare.

Namjoon raised his hand in defeat “I did not say anything, Jimin did” like a flash he fled from the scene before getting nagged. Jimin gave the leader a disbelief looks as he returned his attention back to the screen, joining others laughing at their new victims, Jeon Jungkook.

The younger guy came with a confused face at first and quickly turned sour as soon as he realized his hyungs were teasing him. Jimin glanced at Jungkook’s side profile, smiling warmly like a proud brother he is, earning the latter’s attention. Noticing the stare, he received from Jimin, he swung his arm around Jimin’s neck, breaking into his cute bunny smile. They needed no word to describe how much they cared of each other, it was long gone ever since they became friends.

One single look meant everything. It was well understood by them.

Burying himself in his jacket deeper to seek warmth at the corner was Namjoon. He leaned against the cold wall, with his eye fixated on his phone screen. A message popped up from his screen got him to straighten his body almost immediately, as his forehead creased into deep frown.

His eyes scanned the area carefully making sure no one caught him acting weird before he left the area to more secluded place. Namjoon’s slender fingers glided across the screen and pressed his phone closed to his ears desperately to reach someone “Come on pick up” he grumbled in annoyance.

Attempt after attempt yet he failed to reach that one person he’s been dying to see since the news broke. His heart was broken into pieces upon receiving the news from Bang Pd a day ago however he would not let the thing to mess up his concentration on this filming.

Not to mention, he was scheduled to meet Bang Pd tomorrow so what’s the point of bringing it up now. He refused to believe the rumours that he heard at first, but it became more evident when he failed to reach the person to get the confirmation. Was it just him or the person was trying to avoid him? The truth was out to public now. The person had been keeping the secrets away from him when he deserved to know the truth.

It was hard for both of them. Yes.

It was complicated. Yes.

It did not give that person any right to go behind his back and left him in the dark.

It was torturous for him too.

Namjoon had been trying to keep his composure cool since yesterday despite the issues that he’s having right now. He did not want to disappoint his bandmates not when they had worked so hard for this comeback. Bangtan topped everything, he could not risk the group for his personal problem. When this filming end today, he would solve this thing right way.

Yes, that was the actual plan.

It came to no avail, when she came unannounced.

“SHIT! PICK UP” he grew frustrated. Namjoon really wanted to stop her from ruining this filming but that woman was so thick headed. For once and all, he had to end this. With that, he picked up all his might to make a quick run to the south wings. He sprinted using the last ounce of his energy in hope he would be the first one to reach there. Things could go from bad to worst in the blink of an eye.

Namjoon could not let that happen. Not here.

‘Please please don’t be inside’ he chanted inside his mind on repeat as he made a sharp turn at the corner, entering the room. His eyes landed on a figure with her back facing him, and without thinking straight he embraced the person into a tight hug.

He knew she was struggling in his embrace, but he did not care any of that. All he cared was to hug her one last time before he heard the sad truth. “Nuna…Is it true” he buried his face at the crook of her neck, fighting his own tears. Namjoon inhaled her sweet scent which he found oddly different that she usually does. Did she change her perfume?

Screw that. He demanded answer from her now. It was the truth he needed.

Her heavy breathing could be heard clearly as she was about to say something, however Namjoon was quick enough to hush her with another reply “No don’t answer yet. I don’t think I am ready to hear the answer from you, nuna” said Namjoon. His voice was completely broken as his tears already cascaded down wetting her shirt.

She gasped knowing Namjoon was crying and ran her fingers to his arm that wrapped securely around her, trying to loosen it up a little but come to no avail. He held onto her even closer “Nuna..Why is this happening to us? I thought, you wanted to wait until we figure this thing out” the latter mumbled.

“I am sorry nuna, it is my fault. I should have just make up my mind about you. If and only I am being honest to myself and Bang PD, this would not happen. You would not be….married to someone else… and you lost.. your job because of me” her mind paused momentarily, and her heart sank allowing the sadness engulfed it darkening her world.

“I tried… I really tried to fight for us. I did not try hard enough. Why are you marrying him when you told me that you love me? Am I a fool to you? Does my world is a little bit too much for you to handle? Why…you lied to me? You ignored me for a month. You did not even look at me. You are disgusted of me. Am I embarrassing you?” Namjoon’s word came out at once as if he’s rapping through it.

It stabbed her heart, the pain that he experienced, she could feel it.

Another silence.

Namjoon’s breath was shaky, he bit his lower lips holding back the resentment that he had for her. All the time that he spent to fight for this love burnt down to ashes in one night. He felt his world crumbled down in front of him, what else could he expect?

She’s married to someone else.

She gave him hope when she knew it was impossible to be together again.

She fooled him.

She toyed his feeling.

She was toxic.

Their relationship was toxic.

And, it came to this.

He must end it.

“I…am letting you go. Loving you was a mistake. Holding onto you was a mistake. Falling for you was my biggest mistake. I will mend my broken heart but..i will never forget what you did to us. You always put the blame on me. Now, I know who to blame” Namjoon murmured, raising his head slowly. He’s ready to face the truth now.

Bang PD was right, there’s no point on holding onto something that’s not his.

If she really loved him, she would wait for him.

“Fate is to be blame. The time that we spent was beautiful, so did the things that pain us” she heard him continue with so much regret and anger. His harsh breath gave her a goose bump. She needed a moment to decipher everything that she heard, why was it so complicated? It burdened her to witness something that she’s not supposed to.

‘Seul you are in a deep shit’ she mentally cursed hoping that Namjoon would allow her to say something and free her from this.

“Namjoon-ah….what are you do-ing?” there was another voice behind them, a familiar one to Namjoon. It came to his realization that the woman in front of her was not the same person that he expected it to be. Reality hit him so hard making him to spin clueless Seul facing him “W..hat” his face was losing colour when her face came into the picture, it was, Seul, their caretaker.

“What are you doing here…..” he breathed.

The woman made way inside with discomfort look evident across her face “We need to talk Namjoon-ah…” she eyed Seul from head to toe with a hint of jealousy. Namjoon still could not believe he just said something foolish in front of Seul and as a result showing the weak side of him. No one knew about his relationship except for his members. For some reason, Bang PD discovered it a day ago that rendered him speechless.

Out of nowhere, their caretaker was there and witnessed something that she’s not supposed to, how screwed up this could be. There was a long silence between the three, and Seul was still a little tipsy over Namjoon’s unintended confession awhile ago causing her mind went numb.

A pair of warm and small hand wrapped around her wrist startling her, bringing her soul back to her body. Seul’s dark brown orbs melted into Jimin’s soft one as their eyes met “Let’s go, you are at the wrong place” he murmured under his breath. Giving a quick glance at Namjoon, the older guy averted his gaze from meeting him. He was too embarrass to face Jimin as if he could read Jimin’s mind demanding an explanation and to fix the mess that he created.

Namjoon watched Jimin and Seul figure disappeared from his vicinity leaving him and his lover in the empty room.

“Let’s talk then”

He would find his ending soon.

------------

The two of them were standing side by side at the rooftop, staring blankly into the darkness. Seul knew the scene awhile ago was not intended for her to see, yet she couldn’t stop replaying it inside her mind. Namjoon’s sadness lingered and scarred her. Just how much it pains him, she wondered.

“Are you alright?” Jimin inquired could not comprehend the silence anymore. He gazed at Seul with concern hoping the girl was not too affected by it. Jimin ended up following Namjoon a while ago since he wanted to notify him about the filming only to see the guy dashed in panic passed him. Hence, to his surprise, Jimin saw Namjoon was holding onto a girl inside the room and he heard everything. Seul’s presence inside the room surprised him even more then he realized Namjoon messed it up.

He did not want to pressure the older guy anymore, therefore he came into decision to bring Seul out of the mess and let Namjoon settled his issues first. Sooner or later, Namjoon would open up to them about his problem. Jimin’s main concern was Seul seeing how pale she appeared, he knew it was not a good idea to stall.

It took her a moment to regain herself back before responded to Jimin accompanied with a heavy sigh “Yeah.. I did not expect to witness that. I feel guilty for…you know.. invading his privacy. It is his secret” Seul looked down on her feet with deep guilt.

“Don’t be.. Things happen for a reason. Namjoon hyung was not in a right mind either to differentiate you with her” Jimin smiled sadly.

“I am sorry for being a nuisance. I am complicating things for him. I really hope she doesn’t misunderstand. That will be bad”

“She deserved that. She hurt hyung. She deserved to be hurt” She decided to seal her mouth and not to ask further questions. Seul looked up, scrutinizing Jimin’s sharp feature. His eyes fluttered close, as soft sigh escaped from his pink plump lips making him even more dashing under the shining stars. She could not remember when was the last time to see Jimin this up close probably ever since the embarrassing bedroom scene last year.

Until then, Seul had no chance to meet any of them as they were busy preparing for their comeback.

“What are you doing here Seul-ssi?”

“It has been a long time, right? Well, I am here to work. The food truck outside is prepared for the staffs as a gratitude from you guys. Didn’t Jin inform all of you at all about that?”

“Ah..yes Jin hyung did mention about the food support thing. Didn’t know you’re working for the company?” his cheeks were tugged upwards into a cute smile.

Seul smiled softly “I work for them, so it is a special request made by Jin a week ago. I was about to leave discreetly until something unexpected came up, I guess we are fated to meet after all” she rubbed the back of her neck. Speaking of fate, these days Seul decided to just follow the flow of her life instead of putting too much pressure and plan on it. She grew tired running away from the truth therefore she’ll see how things went then came up with counter measure afterwards.

“Cool. You are a caretaker and a tea lady” he retorted with a light chuckle.

She found herself smiling at the image of his pink ears, as it matched his hair due to the coldness. Seul pulled out the heat pack casually from her jacket, since she brought extras with her. “Jimin-ssi, you may need this” she tiptoed a little matching his level and pressed the heat pack on both side of his neck.

“Keep warm, you don’t want to get sick” her eyes glimmered brightly melting Jimin’s heart. Jimin was lost in her kind gesture, as his hand skidded on top of hers “Thank you” he squished her hands.

Seul turned crimson red at the contact “Hmm..No problem” she pulled her hand quickly which upsets him a little. The feeling was soon washed over by Seul’s next move. She took off her warm gloves and took his hand in her sliding the glove over it without trouble. Seul repeated the same step with his other hand without breaking the smile on her face.

“As I expected, it is the same size” she unconsciously caressing Jimin’s hand admiring it as if she’s the girlfriend. She bit down her tongue and hold back the coldness that started to lick her exposed skin. Releasing Jimin’s hand, she answered her phone nodding throughout the process. From the conversation, Jimin knew she’s ready to go but was he ready to see her go?

“Jimin-ssi, I have to go to meet your manager. Get inside and keep yourself warm alright? See you around” she never forgets to give a quick bow before leaving dazed Jimin behind. He smirked knowingly as he clasped his hand together loving the warmth from Seul’s knitted weave gloves.

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