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garbage-eater144 · 3 years

Text

THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS

i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.

so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview

Starting video captions

[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.

[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)

[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)

[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.

[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.

I Think I Heard Numbers!

[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!

{mechanical whirring}

[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1

{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- please respond.

[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression

{clicking and mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.

[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2

Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…

[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}

[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-

[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.

But you didn’t say anything…

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.

{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}

[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.

Uh… potato salad?

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]- response accepted

{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}

[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.

[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.

{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.

{windows error tone}

{tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.

{scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- I saw you die

[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}

[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad

[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete

{mechanical noises}

[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?

[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}

Yeah, I’m dead.

[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..

{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}

[WAIA]- theres. still. time.

He said… potato salad?

[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}

[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!

{mechanical clicking and whirring}

{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:

{robot sounds}

[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?

YES

[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

#markiplier #markiplier egos #a heist with markiplier #wkm wilford #who killed markiplier #waia spoilers #waia #wilford motherloving warfstache #markiplier lore #captions #sorry if there are any mistakes here everybody like i said i am just some guy

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luidilovins · 3 years

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So you guys can get a glimpse into my inner psyche and because I'm bored here's my top ten favorite movies.

10.) The Fly (1986)

I love this film. All the grutesque special effects, the age old poeticism of man reaching too far playing god and the more beast than man that ends in romantic tragedy, the brillant story from the first The Fly (1958) all these concepts are just coated with a thin film of Jeff Golblum completely ruining it beyond belief. This was a cinematic disaster that I will always treasure.

9.) The Abyss

Aside from underwater cave spelunking i cannot think of a landscape that instills the level of dread that The Abyss provokes. It was one of the very first films to sport CGI and it still holds up fairly well today. The film really captures the alieness that we have on our own planet and reminds us how every small and out of control we are without looking to the stars and I really appriciate that.

8.) Paranorman

I've said it before and I'll say it again: this is Laika Studio's most underrated film. Kubo and the Two Strings who? I think what I like so much about this movie is because Norman could very easily be interpreted as an allegory for childhood psychosis, and as an adult recently diagnosed with schizofrenia and watching this film again, I can see a lot of parrallels from my own childhood and how it felt to experience the world in a way nobody could relate to.

7.) Nausicaa Valley of the Wind

This movie really just said "the damage we leave on oyr planet will make the world uninhabitable to us but nature will luve on without giving us a second thought." The ecopunk, the fungi, the art and musical scores, the ambiguity of good and evil, and whatever genre that has broken down "old" technology that's still highly advanced. This movie is amazing I have nothing but good things to say about it.

6.) The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Hands down my favorite Disney movie. The cute animals and magical shit is so minimal to the film's overall plot it feels almost detacched from Disney's other golden era works. That scene where Quazimodo stands on top of the Stained glass and screams "SANCTUARY" sacrificing everything he knows against catholic inquisition for an innocent marginalized woman??? Where is that passion NOW Disney??? Where is it???

5.) My Neighbor Totoro

This is one of those films thats intensely emotionally charged for me. I was the eldest sibling and had a sick mom. The raw power of emotional energy this film posesses to the point where you don't even notice that it has no plot? It knocks me off my feet every time.

4.) SLC Punk

this film has an unbelievably good balance of cynicism and revere for punk culture. Its critical in a fun way and its got that guy that went on to play Shaggy later. Literally theres this scene where the mc explains exactly why they beat the shit out of Skinheads and Neo Nazis for fun. Thers this one scene where they go down to Wyoming and fuck with a bunch if bible thumpers by attemting to summon Satan there is NO reason you shouldn't watch this movie.

3.) Chicken Run

I know I know. You're thinkin this would be my FIRST favorite. This isn't the Vic I know and love you say. Its ONE of my top favorites but it's the film i watch the MOST OFTEN. I have every scene memorized cuz its burnt in the back of my noggin. I used to get yelled at by my parents sometimes for hours and I used to watch Chicken Run in my head scene by scene just so I didn't have to listen to their bullshit. The thought of these chickens escaping their living situation from a woman who looks WEIRDLY like my mom was appealing to me for some reason.

2.) The Labrynth

This film is without argument is good. Its a Jim Henson Studio film that's why. Obviously. But as an adult I realized exactly how much this movie means to me. The fact that this girl could look into the eyes of a man who has ALL this control over every aspect of her and find the will and courage to tell him that he has no power over her. And she did it for a sibling because her bond with her brother is more strong than her fear or allure of Jereth? Every obstacle that she faced was impossible until she made friends and with their talents and traits it was one thread cut from the web that imprisoned Sarah? This, this. Yeah. Maybe my interpretation isn't all that acccurate but to that I say fuck you?

1.) The Monster Squad (1987)

This movie wanted to be The Goonies. So. Bad. The sheer DESPERATION laced in this film is what makes it genuinely terrible. The kids arguing over whether or not Wolfman has balls and then proceed to kick him in the balls and proving that Wolfman does indeed have balls? I mean the montage scene??? This film it just tops all right?

#my post #about me #top ten favorite films #luidilovins

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dylinski · 4 years

Note

do 1-100, coward

I AM NO COWARD

anyone who actually reads through all this, god bless you. you can blame leigh @thessaia, i give you full authority.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

of those three, pandora. although, i prefer apple music.

2. is your room messy or clean?

LMFAO. CLEAN? I DON’T KNOW HER

3. what color are your eyes?

brown, but they’re lighter than that in the right light. almost a caramel with a dark chocolate ring on the outside.

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah, i don’t mind it. its always been there. lol i mean i used to have different nicknames or pretend to be other people. idk i told my parents when i was like five i was going to change my name to Felicia Franchesca Sarahmichelle Lynn. don’t ask. in fifth grade (before dylan o’brien was even famous) i begged my parents to call me dylan and refused to respond to any other name for like a year. also, don’t ask.

5. what is your relationship status?

single as dingle

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

CHAOTIC, SMARTASS, STABBY

7. what color hair do you have?

answered

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

kia forte, although my dad calls it an orte since the “f” is missing. funny story, i got pulled over and gave the dude my license and registration and shit but apparently, he didn’t look at it cause he put on the warning “orte” which i promptly laughed my ass off to. if he had given me a ticket i could have absolutely fought that bitch in court in won. SIR I DO NOT DRIVE AN ORTE. IS THAT ITALIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN AFFORD AN ITALIAN CAR? I DRIVE A FORTE SIR.

9. where do you shop?

ONLINE

10. how would you describe your style?

very idgaf

11. favorite social media account

tumblr

12. what size bed do you have?

full, it takes up my entire room so i couldn’t go bigger if i wanted to

13. any siblings?

answered

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

uk, always wanted to live there idk

15. favorite snapchat filter?

idk what its called but it has this higher temperature tone to it and gives me cute little freckles

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

i don’t wear make up, i used to use stilla (i think that’s how its spelled)

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i usually shower like every other day unless its hotter than a pair of saggy tits

18. favorite tv show?

that changes with the weather tbh. i can’t say i really have one. for a really long time it was supernatural though.

19. shoe size?

womans 11.5 (us) i think its a men’s 9?

20. how tall are you?

5′ 3″ or 160cm

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. god i hate sandals.

22. do you go to the gym?

uh, no.

23. describe your dream date

answered

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

thats funny cause normally i don’t carry cash but i actually have $20 atm

25. what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any atm

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

answered x2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

not technically? i’m an hourly temp but i hardly get any hours since i cover for the full-time employee.

28. how many friends do you have?

irl: 0 online: too many to count

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

oh god, i honest to god have no fucking clue. i don’t think about this stuff. i’ve done some stupid ass shit but my short term and long term memory are both shot to tits.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

i think i answered this one for a different ask game. i hate most fragrances and artificial smells, even non-artifical ones. i got a sensitive sniffer. im chill with like vanilla though if its not too intense.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Dylan (not even cause dylan i’ve just always liked the name idk why), Jeremy, Jacob (the other two are random)

32. 3 favorite girl names

i know these are random as fuck, but i’ve always liked them so shoot me.

Andromeda, Persephone, Franchesca

33. favorite actor?

i like a lot of actors, way too many to fucking name and remember off the top of my noggin. for sanity’s sake, we’ll say dylan.

34. favorite actress?

god, again way too many to count. i can’t even think of any right now even though i know i have some. lets say Emily Hampshire

35. who is your celebrity crush?

answered36. favorite movie?

answered37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i would love to read but my adhd makes it really hard to concentrate. i’ll have periods of time where i’ll read a bunch its insane and then i’ll just kind of stop for a while idk. i always loved because of win-dixie or a wrinkle in time, bridge to terabithia, and american assassin.

38. money or brains?

brains, then you can work for the money and you know shit

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

sawahbwear, sassafras, whiskey, sar

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

good lord, i don’t even know. way too many. definitely more than ten.

41. top 10 favorite songs

answered42. do you take any medications daily?

not anymore, i kept forgetting to take them so it fucked me up not being on a regular dosage so i just stopped taking all of them.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

see, im weird af. cause like my skin is oily af, but also fucking dry and i have shitty eczema 44. what is your biggest fear?

answered45. how many kids do you want?

idfk. i mean for as long as i can remember i always wanted them, but tbh idk if im the type of person to have any…

46. whats your go to hair style?

messy bun

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

small, row house

48. who is your role model?

dont have one.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

probably from michelle i think, or alaina. idk i don’t keep track. unless you consider kiana calling me insane a compliment. 🤷‍♀️

50. what was the last text you sent?

“thankies”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh, i don’t think i ever thought he was real…pretty sure i could put in time out in preschool for making a kid cry cause i told them leprechauns weren’t real either.

52. what is your dream car?

mustang or challenger

53. opinion on smoking?

conflicted

54. do you go to college?

disappointingly

55. what is your dream job?

no clue

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

rural, but still close enough to shit it doesn’t take me an hour to go places.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

haven't been to a hotel in a long ass time. i do but i never use them.. FREE SHIT

58. do you have freckles?

yeah, but you can’t see them unless i’ve been outside in the sun all day for hours.

59. do you smile for pictures?

relatively

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

5604

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

yup, and in a parking lot, and in public.🤙

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i hardly watch tv anymore, but if i did, fuCK YEAH

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

WNEDYS ALL DAY ERRY DAY THE RED HEADED BITCH IS MY HOE OKAY

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ew, no.

65. what do you wear to bed?

tshirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

answered

67. what are your hobbies?

writing, coding, listening to music??, reading

68. can you draw?

NOPE

69. do you play an instrument?

also no

70. what was the last concert you saw?

like two years ago, circa survive with thrice and a third band idr

71. tea or coffee?

neither

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

neither

73. do you want to get married?

idk

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

idk, part of me wants to but most of me doesnt want to

76. what color looks best on you?

i look good in all colors except white.

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yeah

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed cause i still live at home 😖 but if i didnt probably open so my cat could come and go as he pleased

79. do you believe in ghosts?

ghosts, no. spirits, yes.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

answered

81. last person you called

my dad

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

mint choco chip

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

damn, regular.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

RAINBOW BITCHES

85. what shirt are you wearing?

supernatural. dean and sam with baby

86. what is your phone background?

mitch rapp

87. are you outgoing or shy?

im an ambivert

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCKING YES

89. do you like your neighbors?

the ones on the right are bearable and the ones on the left can fuck off with their insane semen demons

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

neither, but i should.

91. have you ever been high?

nope

92. have you ever been drunk?

answered

93. last thing you ate?

hot dog

94. favorite lyrics right now

answered

95. summer or winter?

fall

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark

98. favorite month?

umm, august? idk

99. what is your zodiac sign

aquarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t remember, it’s been a really long time since i cried in front of someone.

#thessaia #ask games #BET YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT #HA #BITE ME #YOUR BITCH ASS BETTER READ EVERY DAMN ONE CAUSE THIS SHIT TOOK ME LIKE A GODDAMN HOUR

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end-of-pizza · 4 years

Text

I hope everyone is enjoying the end of the world

I am trying to, mostly just been building model kits, more on that later. But yea these last few weeks have been fuckin weird right?

like, I hope everyone is doing okay financially etc right now, I am lucky enough that my job could just switch us all to work from home, and that tax season got extended so I can still get a buncha over time while working out of my home office, and that the waifu works at an old folks home so theyve been on a HARD lockdown for like, 3 months now so theyre luckily not one of those fucked up ones where all the residents die, theyre one of the ones where no one can leave their room and no one can visit their family.....so at least were both still employed I suppose

I have been going back and rewatching old TV shows though, and have been watching a fuck ton of gundam as of late, a lot of patlabor too, I got it on dvd right before the world shut down. Rewatched some bubblegum crisis too, forgot how good that show was...

I have been meaning to go back to eva, but like.....idk a part of me is just exhausted with it, like between the netflix dub being a grown mans shit in a paper bag, and the final movie just....you know never ever coming out, turning into god damn vapor ware on me out of no where, idk man, my brain is just exhausted with trying to understand it....figure I could go rewatch the old dub or the sub of it and maybe it could respark something in me noggin.

But I mentioned previously that I have both been building model kits like crazy and have been watching a ton of gundam lately....and this is sort of tied in with how im trying to stay sane during all of this. My DND crew had been kicking around this idea of a side game for a bit, and we bit the bullet and we are officially playing a D20 compaign of the OG gundam story line, but like, if all the original pilots didnt die in the first 10 minutes of the first episode. so no amuro, just 4 OC characters and a few other background changes. so far we’re having fun with it, but I figured I could share some of the work I have done for that project as I havent shared ANYTHING of value on this page in like, a year or two now....sorry about that again, like I said after the netflix thing and 4.0 never coming out, just havent been super keen on the idea of more evangelion at the moment, Anno has officially exhausted me but yea, heres some dang gunpla I built for our D20 game

I havent really made too many customized Zeon suits, mostly ive only been customizing the feddie suits since thats the side my dudes are on atm, but I promise there are a buncha zaku and goggs etc sitting on the desk behind me, just figured you guys might get a kick out of what i’ve been up too while in quarantine. just rewatching anime, ordering in a lot of grub hub and door dash, and building plastic models. I love you guys and I will talk to you later also if you, like me want to get back into gundam, check out the podcast Mobile Suit Breakdown, they are doing a full rewatch of all of gundam like ALL of it, and they give huge deep dives into the culture and ideas behind WHY everything in gundam is how it is.....sorta like the entire evangelion community has been trying to do since time immemorial

https://gundampodcast.com/

#gundam #not eva #blog

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biteinsane · 5 years

Note

Crowley and Aziraphale relationship headcanons

I’ve said it before and I will stick to it, but Aziraphale waits for Crowley to say anything, to make the move, the angel’s old fashioned like that.

Aziraphale kisses him first though.

Once the Not End of the World is over, lots of hand holding in public cause at least for now their bosses aren’t watching them even if everyone kind of knows, but what are they gonna do anyway? (there’s an old old fanfic of higher ups just giving them a lot of paper work to keep them from doing anything more than being in the same room together. And that’s how I pictured it until the show came out.)

Crowley likes that Aziraphale is soft. Stomach and thighs make a good pillow. Sometimes the demon ends up with a book in the face. His own fault. You can’t just bother the angel when he’s reading and not get a book in the face.

Although Aziraphale rarely sleeps, he does like laying in bed with Crowley who does like to sleep. He can read while running a hand through Crowley’s hair. Aziraphale reads out loud sometimes.

Mornings are great for everyone. Just think of your favorite morning thing and they’ve probably done something in that regard. And yes, I mean whatever. Its the morning, but a lot of cuddles and breakfast in bed most of the time.

A lot of their dates are no different then before. Meeting for lunch or dinner, going to plays and movies. No reason to stop something that they both like.

They both try to teach other to dance. Ends in neither of them learning anything and just fits of giggles because of the bad dancing all around.

Their arguments are usually them blaming each other for certain parts of history being each others fault. Or very old misunderstandings. Sometimes when its a really heated argument, the switch into different languages to the confusion of any listeners. They don’t stay angry for long, tickets to a show, flowers, chocolates, a new jacket, always clears that up.

Jealous isn’t really an issue, they’ve been alive for so long that both have a past of some kind with all different people. Its more of a “UNFAIR YOU GOT TO MET *insert name here*” jealousy. A lot of back and forth about different people they’ve met.

I probably have more somewhere in my noggin, but thats what I have right now.

#good omens #ineffable husbands

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beauzoleils · 4 years

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ABIGAIL COWEN , CISFEMALE , SHE / HER → according to the school records , NATALIE LUCILLE BEAUSOLEIL has been attending sacred heart for the past three years . i last saw them hanging around the john bracken library ; i think they were working on writing her novel . at twenty - one years old , natalie has been studying english literature and get this , i heard that she’ll zone out while writing papers for class and come to surrounded by pages and pages full of archaic languages she doesn’t speak — figure it’s true ? everyone around here always associates them with a moonlight sonata echoing through empty halls , seats in the back row at the opera , and dead flowers pressed between the pages of an old book . in the time since these strange happenings , they have encountered unexplained occurrences .

HI , hello . i’m hannah n this is like . the only thing i’ve been thinking about recently , aka i’m so excited . ok anyway ! i’m 20 , kickin it in the est ! i’m a full time student ( majoring in being a dumb bitch n gay rights and i’m at the top of my class baby . . ) and i’m ALSO a preschool teacher so if i’m ever Not here , i’m with my babies ! ! but that isn’t the reason why ur all here . . ur here for an intro post ! so !

let’s talk abt my girl . . . 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !

okay . so . first thing’s first . i have some Real Things prepared for my girl , including but not limited to :

a pinterest board !

a stats page !

and what i call NATALIE : A TRAGEDY IN THREE ACTS . it’s kind of a bio , mixed in with some stage directions here and there . it’s a quick read n rly gives you that Natalie Flavor if you know what i mean . . so if you feel so inclined n wanna take a look . . but full disclosure it rly does hit different than just reading this intro

anyway ! i’ll give a more condensed version of her bio here n some info abt her personality n some random headcanons . . etc !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈 : 𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀

alright SO . our girl natalie was born on april 13 , 1952 to michel and colette beausoleil . it was a thursday , and it was ALSO eleven weeks before colette’s due date , so we all know that can’t be good

( spoiler alert : it wasn’t )

natalie was supposed to be a twin , but the other baby ( a boy named pierre ) didn’t survive . they didn’t think that natalie would , but she did ! unfortunately , her parents were too wounded by the loss of their other baby and it was all grieving and no celebrating .

also . there’s more info abt her parents n how they met in the bio but , a sparknotes version is that michel was a playwright in paris and colette was a ballerina / his muse and they rushed into a marriage

michel made it rly big a couple yrs after natalie was born and so they decided to use that $ $ $ to send natalie away to an expensive boarding school in london called our lady of sacred suffering . it was , of course , a catholic girls boarding school and natalie hated it there

but they hated natalie there bc she was just the WORST catholic school girl of all time , so it was mutual

meanwhile , her relationship w her parents is . . very complicated . her dad is just kind of The Worst across the board , very reliant on drinking , definitely got into drug use at some point , had lots of affairs with the young actresses in his plays . and colette was just . . very sad and very absent so the support was Minimal

natalie has a lot of issues that are all rooted in her childhood tbh .

somewhere along the way , she found a deep passion for Writing and developed this sense of purpose and for a minute things were going very well

which we all know means things are about to get WORSE .

on her eighteenth birthday , natalie receieves a card in the mail from her mother for the First Time Ever . and she immediately is like . huh . well . something is Wrong .

she’s right .

( tw : nondescript mentions of car crashes & death )

a week later , she receives word that her parents were involved in a serious car accident at the pont de l’alma tunnel in paris and her did not survive the accident .

( end tw )

her mother’s family is not convinced that michel should walk away from this without blame and decides to take legal action against him and get him convicted with a more serious charge than just manslaughter .

they promise to keep natalie out of it as much as possible but when it comes time to testify as to whether or not michel had a history of not caring about colette’s life and well - being , the only one who can speak to it is natalie .

so she testifies and it’s her testimony that is the metaphorical nail in the coffin .

( tw : suicide mention )

michel knows it , too . that’s what natalie thinks . he turns up dead in his jail cell the day before he’s supposed to be sentenced . she never knows if he deserved the life sentence he was going to be given .

( end tw )

so then ! she’s an orphan ! but she does gain control over everything that her parents left behind , which turns out to be a lot .

she sells their house in paris , goes to wales to begin university , and hasn’t gone back since then . but like , she grew up in london for the most part so she’s not exactly sad about being away from paris and all the ghosts there .

and now she’s at sacred heart , working on writing her debut novel , which is the ( albeit , dramatized and fictionalized ) story of her parents !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈 : 𝑨 𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 .

so basically , she’s got issues .

fictional character inspo includes : jo march , alaska young , cheryl blossom

if you know anything abt astrology . . she’s an aries sun , mercury , and venus . . and a scorpio moon and mars . . and a gemini rising . . i’m so sorry JKDSFM

she’s very emotional but does a super good job of hiding it and keeping all those emotions ( esp the intense n darker ones ) buried away . . deep down where no one could see it

the minute that ppl kind of ? ? but two and two together n realize who she is ( bc . . in my head . . her dad’s whole trial was kind of . A Thing that the public knew abt . ) they’re probably rly concerned w Little she shows any real emotion to the whole thing .

rly she’s just the queen of compartmentalizing n repressing !

she’s very . . Assertive . like , when she wants something she’s going to do whatever it takes to get her way

very Very reckless . she’s like . . so fucking impulsive that it physically Pains me sometimes .

she’s very smart but like . More So , she’s very clever and very sharp with her words . a very fast thinker and a very loud talker

someone please . . tell her to stop yelling . she needs to Relax .

she’s very charming i’ll say it . n like ? seems cool ? the kind of person that you meet and immediately want to hang out w them .

very flirty , has always used that charming smile of hers to get ppl in her corner and she’s not gonna stop now ! she’s very good at making ppl feel special

but like . she means well most of the time sdkfj her heart is in the right place okay

big time trust issues . big time commitment issues . painfully independent and refuses to let anyone know how much she cares about them until she’s like . . Really sure that they aren’t going to hurt her

also very afraid of hurting people , which is another reason why she struggles to get attached to people . she definitely has this deep - rooted fear that Bad Things follower her and she doesn’t want to drag ppl into that

it’s literally a toss - up as to whether she’s going to seem like she’s demanding ur attention or entirely disinterested in it . bc she’s all over the place .

but like . i’m an emotional BITCH so she’s probably going to end up being 100000% softer than i intend bc i project too much soft bitch energy onto my characters Always .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈𝐈 : 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .

so many things . literally , anything . just a disclaimer , if u read thru this and had An Idea then like . yes Pls tell me , i want it xoxo

but here are some i have up in the old . . noggin .

EXES . please , please . . for the love of GOD give me some angsty exes nonsense . do you need someone who broke ur characters heart ? consider natalie UR GIRL . she’s Emotionally Damaged and has the capacity to be the angstiest ex of all time , okay ?

give her a weakness . she needs someone who she’s Actually vulnerable around and actually sees her have emotions and knows she’s not just this huge Mess all the time

i rly want someone that is like . from the same ( ish ) bg as her in the sense that like . . they also were surrounded by nice clothes n expensive private schools n Luxury but like . they Thrive in it the way natalie used to wish that she could . n just . i think it would b a super interesting dynamic bc they would just ! clash ! so intensely ! ! n tbh nat would probably b lowkey jealous Still n . spicy !

@ all those ppl who are into theatre : i’m Dying for some connections of ppl who knew / knew of her father n would know what happened w him perhaps on a deeper level than ppl who read it in the newspaper a few yrs ago . . ( bonus points if they lowkey idolized / looked up to her dad bc thats a Big Mess and could b spicy as fuck to explore , u know ? )

idk if any of y’all have characters who grew up in / around paris ? but if there are . . then Perhaps someone who knew her in her youth ?

okay . not to be Trash but like . i rly want her to have a dynamic that’s jo x laurie adjacent ? do they have to be in love w her ? no ! i just want someone that has that genuine bond w her and they care abt each other n goof around n like . . i’m already getting soft on main , huh , ,

she’s soo fucking messy that like . . all the messy fwb / frenemies with benefits / one night stand type of plots . . yes pls

i always want there to b a badass girl squad like . a group of ladies n theydies that take no shit n get in fights for each other n rly truly ride or die w each other . . we can workshop the name ok but for now ? my girl squad is open for applications

okay . let me cut myself off right there but i’ll leave you with my WANTED CONNECTIONS TAG n also again i’m 10000% okay to just brainstorm out something else completely if its what ur feeling !

if u read all / any of this . . i love u . <3 either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm OR ! like this n i will come to u ! okay , that’s all , bye

#heretics:intro #part 1 part 1 !#im so sorry for this

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maljean89 · 5 years

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I turned 30 and got my tubes tied

Just shy of a week ago I had my very first surgery — I got my tubes tied. Although, “getting your tubes tied” is sort of an out-of-date term these days come to find. Nowadays, removing your entire fallopian tubes is the standard for a couple of reasons: removing them completely (as opposed to tying, clamping or cauterizing) can prevent the occurrence of an ectopic pregnancy and can reduce the risk for Ovarian Cancer. Dude, I have so much cancer in my family, if I can reduce my risk for one kind, I’m down.

I’m really glad I’ve never had surgery before because going into it blindly was probably the best thing for me. I had no idea what to expect and if I had I think I would have been even more of an anxious mess than I already was. I am the queaziest, most fainty human being on the planet, so the entire experience of having the 3 attempts to put my IV in was a little hellish. But being put under felt pretty cool and before I knew it, I was waking up and it was all over. It took a solid 3 days of doing nothing but laying on my back and hobbling to the toilet before I started to feel like a human again. And let me tell you — having a boyfriend with an amazing sense of humor kind of sucks when laughing causes you pain. But he took the best care of me and 6 days later I’ve got a way less bloated and swollen tummy (looked like I was pregnant for a couple days) and my insides feel like normal again. I’ve got these 3 sweet battle wound scars — two on either side of my lower abdomen and one in my belly button — and I can officially say that I’m sterile as a cotton ball.

I’m pretty excited that I now have a response when people inevitably ask “So when are you and Jonah going to have a baby?” I’m going to enjoy it a little too much to be able to say, “Never actually. I had my tubes tied.” Telling people you don’t want kids makes them incredibly uncomfortable for some reason. I’ve never really understood it, but one of two things usually happen. One: they get real awkward and change the subject, never to be visited again. Or two: the barrage of questions begins. Some people are genuinely interested. Some people feel the same way and I get high fives. Some people do the whole, “well, you’ve got plenty of time to change your mind” routine.

The thing that probably kills me the most though is when people ask why.

“Why don’t you want to have kids? If you don’t mind my asking,” they’ll say.

You got a few hours? People ask this question like its a simple answer. Dude, if its a simple answer, I highly recommend that you don’t get sterilized because one simple answer isn’t sufficient. I have scores of reasons! And the reasons why I don’t only stand to inform the actions I would take if I oddly changed my mind someday.

I thought I’d share some of my many reasons with you all. Some are emotional, some are physical, some are financial — they’re all over the place. If you don’t care — thats cool. If you think I’m stupid — you’re entitled to your opinion. But I do think it would broaden your vision a bit to read why someone might not want to reproduce. If you’re one of the people judging me, I encourage you to take a moment to learn about someone different than yourself.

1. Physically, I legit can’t handle it. I know every woman is probably terrified of actually giving birth, but I literally could not handle it. I have to lay down to get a flu shot, and stay laying down for a solid 10 minutes or I’ll pass out. Getting my blood drawn makes me faint every time. And just discussing the process of inserting a NuvaRing with my gyno made me lightheaded and have to lay down. Getting my lady exam every year makes me so nervous I often present with high blood pressure because my nerves get the better of me so badly. Don’t think I could handle 9 months of discomfort, thinking about whats happening to my insides, and then the inevitable pain of actual birth. And even if I somehow could handle it — I don’t want to put myself through that. No thanks, I’ll pass.

2. Financially, I don’t want the burden. People may think thats a cold reason to not want kids, but I’m just being honest. I’m a fucking millennial for god’s sake — I’ll be drowning in student loan debt until the day I die, paying off only the interest on my income based repayment plan each month. I’m just now at 30 years old feeling stable with my own income for the first time ever. And to be 100% honest with you, I want to spend my money on me and my partner, not a small person who doesn’t even understand what money is and how hard I have to work for it. If you can look past that — high five to you, but I can admit that I’m not that big of a person.

3. I don’t want the strain on my body. I’m not special in that I’ve struggled with my body image my whole life. And sure — you can argue all you want that having kids is more rewarding than having a hot bod. And I’m sure thats true for some people. But vainly, I just don’t want to ruin my body like that. I’ve got enough stretch marks on my inner thighs and love handles from when I was heavier. I shall opt for keeping my bladder and vagina and breasts in tact for as long as I can. #SorryNotSorry

4. It’s not what I want my day to day life to be about. I enjoy being around kids of a certain age for a very short amount of time, and somehow that window gets smaller and smaller as they get older. I don’t have enough time for myself, I can’t even imagine having every moment be about feeding and changing and crying and being sick and everything else. Worrying about myself and the people I love is all I have the energy and time for folks. Its wonderful that some people are happy having every day be about play dates and going to the park and doing whatever Mommy-and-Me crap you mothers out there do — but thats just not who I am. I enjoy traveling and seeing the world, experiencing art and theater and music, trying really hard and failing at making alone time for myself, falling in love with Jonah more and more every day, searching for a woman to fall in love with at the same time, and a million other things I could spend hours writing about. In everything I want for my life, there just isn’t a kid running around in that mix.

5. I’ve got some weird Mom-related reasons swirling around in my noggin, too. My relationship with my mother was very special to me. I was an only child raised by a single mom and that, my friends, creates bonds unlike any other. In the three years since she’s died, I’ve realized how sacred my time with her was. I even had a window of time where I thought I was going to cancel getting my tubes tied because I had this morbid realization that by having a baby, and possibly a little girl, I could have a piece of my mom back again. Thats not a healthy way to think. I talked my feelings out with my loved ones and ended up back at my decision to have the procedure. Somehow, the mother-daughter relationship that I had with her is the only one I want to have in my life.

6. Other areas in my life deserve my love and attention more than a child. First and foremost — my love life is too important to me. Jonah is my world. And aside from the fact that on our first date he told me he didn’t want to have any more kids (he has a daughter from a previous relationship), our life doesn’t have room for an infant. Our life together — my career, my company, other creative and business ventures I have brewing in my head, Jonah’s music, our love life being polyamorous — all of these things deserve my love and attention more than having a baby. And guess what? As mentioned above, I already get to have a daughter in a sense! I get to have this super cool friendship/stepmom/parent-type thing with a wonderful little girl that came from the man of my dreams. I can’t wait to see her blossom into a young woman and see what she’ll achieve in life. ALSO, I have an amazing nephew who is about the same age and even though I don’t get to see him every day the way his mom saw me every day, I love the bond I have with him and getting to see him grow into such a sweet and upstanding young man. All of this and more deserve my love and attention more than creating another human.

7. I don’t think its necessary to populate the world with more people. If I lose anyone big time with any of these reasons, I think this one might be it. We as human beings are literally ruining this planet. There are too many people in existence as it is. We’re polluting the ocean at an alarming rate, global warming is all our fucking fault, and every year more and more animals hit that endangered species list or worse, become extinct. Don’t get me started on animal rights! More people just create more garbage, more waste, more problems. I’m sure you love your big family and think you’re not part of the problem, but guess what — we all are. I don’t want to add to it. I can help not add to it by the following...

8. I would choose adoption over reproducing any fucking day. When I had my initial doctors appointment to schedule my tubal ligation, my doctor obviously asked me why I wanted the procedure done. I rambled off a few of these reasons I’ve just shared with you and closed with this: “If for some crazy reason I want nothing more than to have a child 10 years from now, I would want to adopt anyway.” And that was the end of that conversation. There are so many children that need foster homes or to be adopted. In Minnesota alone, an article from this past January from Kare 11 states that “this year alone some 17,000 children will need temporary, out-of-home placements.” I saw an adorable little boy at the grocery store the other day running in front of his parents. For one second I thought, there are I don’t even know how many little boys just like him that need homes across the globe. The thought broke my heart. If I wake up 5 years from now and want nothing more than to be a mom, I want to change someone’s life and give them the loving home they otherwise might not ever have.

9. I’ve never had a strong will to be a mother. Sure, when you’re in grade school you might trade future baby names with your girlfriends at recess. For me it was Hayden for a boy and Aslynn for a girl. But as a teenager and adult, that daydream disappeared. I’ve never longed to be a mother, or to have any sort of a conventional life for that matter. It’s always seemed really boring and expected and normal. One of the very very few positive things that came out of my relationship with my ex-husband was the day he helped me realize that I just assumed I’d have kids someday because thats what society had drilled into me. The moment I stood back and really honestly asked myself, “Do I want kids?” I had my answer. No. And I’ve never looked back.

10. Most importantly, my body was made for more than reproduction. I know we don’t live in medieval times — this isn’t Game of Thrones no matter how much I wish it was. We live in an age of being a career mom and female empowerment up the wazoo. But theres still this thing floating around out there in the world that its expected of me to reproduce. Ridiculous abortion laws like the one that just passed in Georgia that makes it illegal to get an abortion after 6 weeks makes me feel like we’re only glimpsing the tip of the iceberg of whats coming down the pipes. The only person who can control what I do with my body is me goddamn it. My female body can do just as much (AND MORE) than any male body can. Maybe its just me being stubborn or thinking I’m more important than I am, but I firmly believe my body can do a million more important things shit out children. I truly believe we are heading to a Handmaid’s Tale existence, and I won’t be a part of it. I refuse.

I didn’t write this blog to make you feel like shit if you are a mother, and enjoy being a mother. Everyone is different. I respect that. But we all have different perspectives. And I truly believe that there are a lot of moms out there that didn’t think long and hard enough about this life-changing decision, and now they’re stuck with it for life. At the end of the day — you’re going to do you, and I’m going to do me. But maybe you have a little insight into what goes on in a head like mine, and why motherhood doesn’t have to be your future if you don’t want it to be.

I’ll be honest with you — I sort of have this weird feeling that for once I have total control over my own body. Pregnancy has been this fear stamped on my love life since I took that dive at 14 and I finally feel free from it. I don’t know, maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion. I could be feeling that way because I just bought my first house and have this cool, new perspective on taking control of my life. But somehow, I’ve never felt more in control in 👏🏻 my 👏🏻 life 👏🏻

Watch out world. The only one in control of my life and my body is me.

#tubes tied #tubal ligation #30 years old #my body #my body my choice #millennial #handmaids tale #sterilization #pregnancy #having kids #having a baby #mothers #daughters #mothers and daughters

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smireyac · 3 years

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fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!!

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing....

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe......

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year......

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ???

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!!

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!!

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now..........

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol

so yeah

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

0 notes

adtwixt · 4 years

Text

Adtwixt - News: The Best Gifts For Dads, For Any Occasion

Buying a gift for dad used to be simple. Whether it was a Christmas gift for dad or a birthday gift for dad, it was culturally appropriate to just pick out socks, ties, or acoffee mug stamped with a clever phrase and call it a day. Times have changed, for the better. The best gift ideas for dads are meaningful, and will sucker-punch him right in the heart when he tears open the wrapping paper.

And while finding a gift for dad isnt difficult, per se, it does require some thought because its a gift and all gifts should have sentiment behind them. We know: A lot of dads are tough to shop for. This trope holds up. They either say they dont want anything or give you no direction. But thats why, just like good old dad, were here for you. We spelunked deep into the world of mens gifts, vetting hundreds of items to assemble this list. From comfy sneakers and kitchen tools to teched-out headphones and hand-crafted essentials, this list has exactly what dad wants even if he swears he doesnt want anything. Trust us, we know.

Genuine Crazy Horse Leather Electronics Organizer

This gorgeously weathered leather bag will keep electronics organized when dads traveling for work or play.

Buy Now $43.21

This organizer corrals his cables, pens, and tools, as well as a phone, passports, and even SD cards. The more use it gets, the better the leather looks. It ages well. Just like dad. Tell him that at least.

Garmin Legacy Hero Series Marvel Captain America Smartwatch

For the dad who loves workouts and superheroes, get him this stunner of a smartwatch

Buy Now $399.99

This Garmin smartwatch hasblue, silver and brown leather elements and a brushed stainless steel bezel modeled after Captain Americas shield. It has adisplay resolution is 260 x 260 pixels, and the display size is 1.3 inches in diameter. But most of all, it looks truly dope and thecase back of the watch is emblazoned with Captain Americas saying, I can do this all day. Yup.

Peak Design Tech Pouch

This is the ultimate solution to organize all of dads cords and tech gear.

Buy Now $59.95

This tech pouch, made of weatherproof 200D nylon, has enough pockets to fit every single thing dad might need or want to have on hand. We particularly like the cable organization with pass-through for charging devices on the go.

Hestra Elk Utsjo Glove

For the dad who'd rather be hitting the slopes, arm him with these glorious insulated gloves.

Buy Now $159.95

These gloves are no joke. Theyre pre-curved and made fromNordic elk leather and insulated with Primaloft Gold synthetic insulation. His hands will feel like theyre encased in down.

Full Windsor The Muncher

If dad would prefer to eat his Christmas feast over an open fire, get him this do-it-all multi-tool.

Buy Now $49.99

This titanium tool is everything he needs when hes pitching a tent: Its a can opener, a spork, a serrated butter knife, a can opener, a bottle opener, a fire flint, a core cutter, and a screwdriver. The list goes on, but were sure you get it.

Celestron 70mm Travel Scope

So dad is into stargazing? He'll see the Big Dipper with this ingenious portable travel telescope that he can take on his outdoor adventures.

Buy Now $59.99

Astronomy has never looked this good, thanks to the handy Celestron portable scope.You get fully-coated glass optics, a powerful 70mm objective lens, a lightweight frame, and a custom backpack to carry it all around.

Glerups GR Charcoal Slippers

When it's frigid outside, keep his dogs warm with these luxe wool slippers.

Buy Now $154.95

These Danish slippers have a wool upper, a rubber sole, and the kind of thoughtful construction that keep his feet warm, but never overheated or sweaty.

Engraved Hammer for Dad

If dad loves his home-improvement and DIY projects, he'll be wowed by this personalized hammer, featuring a laser-engraved saying your choice.

Buy Now $25.99

This is a full-sized hammer with a steel head. You figure out a quote, or dates, that mean something to dad, and have it engraved on the front side of the hammer. Because this is laser engraving, its permanent and will never rub off.

TAC-FORCE TF606WS Engraved Tactical Assisted Opening Pocket Knife

There are great pocketknives, and then there are great pocketknives that have extra meaning. This is the latter.

Buy Now $25.95

Two great gifts in one: A Tac-Force Speedster knife with an assisted opening, partially serrated, 3CR13 stainless steel blade. Plus, two lines of engraved text on the wood handle. The knife also hasa glass breaker, flip-out rope cutter, and can opener. It weighs five ounces.

Sennheiser Wireless Headphones

These crystal clear wireless headphones are the best ones for audiophiles.

Buy Now $399.95

Hard to believe but these Bluetooth headphones sound even better than they look. Nice features abound, including three different app-controlled, noise-canceling modes so users can select to have some, less, and no ambient noise filter in. In other words, theyre great for dads who want to listen to something but need to keep an ear out for kid chaos. When he does need to take them off, they automatically pause, resuming music when he puts them back on.

Garmin Fenix 6X Pro Solar Smartwatch

This is the watch for dads who like to hike, bike, and run on trails.

Buy Now $999.99

Ideal for the dad who likes to go off the grid or just look like he does the Garmin smartwatchs crystal-like glass also acts as a solar panel, extending the life of the device when exposed to the sun. When acting as a smartwatch, it boosts battery life from 21 days to 24; when used as a GPS device that goes down to about 15 hours. A built-in Power Manager allows users to check in and monitor battery life while also seeing how app usage affects it all.

PHOOZY Thermal Phone Case

Every dad needs an awesome phone case that prevents overheating and extends battery life.

Buy Now $29.99

This phone case not only keeps his phone from overheating in the sun, butis water-resistant, splash-proof, and it floats if dropped in the water.

LEATHERMAN Wave Plus Multitool

This multitool fits all the tools you could ever need for a camping excursion in one stunning package.

Buy Now $99.00

The Leatherman is a classic, must-have multi-tool that has stuck around for 30+ years for a reason. The tools are portable, handsome, and, above all else, super useful. The Leatherman Wave Plus is no exception. This tool features a nifty one-handed design and features 17 tools including pliers, replaceable wire cutters, wire strippers, plain and serrated knives, a saw, spring-action scissors, a ruler, files, and screwdrivers.

Spicy and substantial, Four Roses Small Batch Select is a welcome addition to the brands core line up. Bottled at 104 proof, Small Batch Select is a fruit forward whiskey with notes of chocolate and nuts balancing a substantial spice. One things for certain: this will sell quickly. So keep your eyes peeled and stock up.

Buy Now $65

Bellroy Dopp Kit

This handsome dopp kit has a water-resistant lining for an easy wipe down.

Buy Now $55.00

And dad can keep all his essentials organized in this dopp kit. The toiletry bag is water-resistant and can hold everything from cologne and shaving tools to trimmers and toothbrushes, so no more leaks or exploding shampoos.

Carhartt Men's Woodside Acrylic Hat

Bad hair day? Never, not with this ruggedly good-looking Carhartt beanie.

Buy Now $19.99

This hat, so simple yet so perfect, combines waffle-knit and 3M Thinsulate lining to keep his noggin warm, no matter how gnarly the weather is.

POWERUP 3.0 Original Smartphone Controlled Paper Airplane

This thing is so simple, it's brilliant: A paper plane dad controls from his phone.

Buy Now $49.99

A simple plane turns into a remote-control flying beast that can go up to 180 feet,and he controls the plane with his smartphone through the app.

Explorer Men's Solid Cologne by ulio and jack

Of course dad needs to smell great when he's on the road, so arm him with this on-point, non-greasy solid cologne that fits in his pocket.

Buy Now $24.00

No dude wants to smell like he just walked into an Axe pit. This solid cologne is understated and minimalist,with notes of bergamot, jasmine, Japanese grapefruit and a dash of peppermint.

Master & Dynamic MW07 GO True Wireless Earphones

Not only do these offer superior fit, whether he's taking calls or running on the treadmill, but they give 22 hours of listening time.

Buy Now $199.00

For the dad who goes hard on his headphones, get him the new Master and Dynamic earbuds that have quick pairing technology and a 30 meter/100 feet connectivity range, so hes never out of touch.

Filson Men's Dryden 2 Wheel Carry On Suitcase

You'll never find a more impressive travel bag for dad than this Filson one, made of ballistic nylon.

Buy Now $295.00

Not only is this wheeled carry-on bag durable enough to withstand the zombie apocalypse, because its made of 100-denier ballistic nylon, but its also eminently practical. It has a full-zip opening with zippered separation panels. And it only weighs six pounds.

MenScience Androceuticals Travel Kit

This top-notch anti-aging travel kit will help dad keeping young beyond his years.

Buy Now $86.00

If dad never put much thought into his balms and after-shave, this kit is for him. , this set features shave cream, face wash, face lotion, after-shave balm, shampoo, deodorant, lip balm, sleep mask, ear plugs and travel bag. His skin will thank you and so will the TSA agents who dont have to rifle through another bag: all of the products are travel sized.

Pendleton Yakima Camp Wool Throw Blanket

For the dad who loves himself a good ski trip, or just reading a book in front of an open fire, help him stay warm with this pure virgin wool and cotton throw blanket.

Buy Now $99.50

Fun fact: Camp blankets much like this one were originally used by shepherds to brave the brutal elements of the Pacific Northwest. And this wool and cotton blanket is ideal for outdoorsmen.

Dango D01 Dapper Pen Bifold Wallet

This wallet has it all and comes in a slim package.

Buy Now $109.00

For the dad who prides himself on carrying only the barest of necessities, this minimal aluminum wallet has enough space for cash and cards and features a built-in notepad and pen so he can take notes wherever and whenever.

Red Wing Heritage Wallet

There's a time and a place for minimalist wallets, but if dad needs something a tad bigger, go with this beauty that's slim yet roomy.

Buy Now $109.99

We dig everything about this wallet, from its vegetable-tanned leather to its durability to its surprising roominess. It holds unfolded bills in a full-length pocket, has six card slots, and features an international currency pocket.

Jaybird Vista True Wireless Bluetooth Sport Waterproof Earbuds

Easy to pack and easy on the ears, these headphones are a foolproof workout companion.

Buy Now $179.97

These genius workout earbuds are the diameter of a nickel, and fit snugly in ear. They come with attachable, rubber mini grips in small, medium, and large, so users can adjust as needed. The wireless buds also boast a not-too-shabby 16 hour battery life.

BLACK + BLUM - Stainless Steel Sandwich Box

This is simply the best-looking sandwich box for the modern brown bagger.

Buy Now $31.80

Packing your lunch is a simple way to eat healthier, control your portions, and save money. Youd be hard pressed to find a better take-to-work food container. Durable and tight sealing, it fits a good portion of food and, best yet, its bamboo lid doubles as a cutting board.

MEATER+165ft Long Range Smart Wireless Meat Thermometer

This is the most high-tech meat thermometer you can buy.

Buy Now $99.00

This wireless meat thermometer sends data to your phone from up to 165 feet away so dad can sit on the deck without pawing at the estimates cooking times, so everything comes out at the same time, but it has dual temperature sensors that can monitor internal meat temperature and external temperature to ensure flawless results.

Personalized Miniature Steak Branding Iron by Sloan Brands

Sure, this branding iron is a gimmick, but one dadll use over and over.

Buy Now $25.00

With these personalized branding iron, he can leave his mark on chickens, steaks, burgers, or pork chops. Even quesadillas. Theyre just over one inch tall and easy to use.

This year, Glenmorangie updated its venerable Quinta Ruban expression. Previously a 12 year finished in port wine casks, the new iteration receives two additional years of aging. Those additional 730 days give the whisky added complexity and deeper, distinct notes of orange, chocolate and apple that compliment the juicy berry and rich nuttiness imparted by the the port finish.

Buy Now $69

Opinel Nomad Camping Utensil Kit

This camping cook gear set is compact and handsome as hell.

Buy Now $67.10

Opinels beloved kitchen and folding knives are no secret to foodies. And we dig this foray into outdoor eating; this set includes a folding knife, a corkscrew knife, a peeler, a cutting board, and a cleaning cloth.

Plott Cubit Smart Virtual Reality Measuring Tool

A VR measuring tool might sound like a high-tech gimmick, but this will fast become the go-to gear for every home improvement project.

Buy Now $92.28

The Cubit uses augmented reality to measure and design with scale and context and then plots the points on your wall where hes going to be drilling holes or hanging up shelves. That means no more crooked pictures, or crawling around on hands and knees.

Gerber Flatiron Folding Cleaver Pocket Knife

For the dad who'd rather be chopping wood, it's a folding cleaver in a pocket knife's body.

Buy Now $34.00

This stunning cleaver knife has a badass cleaver blade, a textured aluminum handle and a sturdy folding frame lock design, plus a nicely textured handle.

DJI Mavic 2 Pro Drone Quadcopter with Hasselblad Camera

Mavic makes the worlds best small drones with cameras, and this one, with 27 minutes of flight time, is no exception.

Buy Now $1,699.00

Go small, or go home. The Mavic 2 Pro drone is beloved for many reasons: Its size, its ability to stay airborne for nearly 30 minutes, and the crisp quality of its picture thanks to the attached Hasselblad camera. You can fly it using simple commands, and yes, it takes a perfect selfie.

Star Wars The Black Series Kylo Ren Force Fx Lightsaber

Because dads love Star Wars toys just as much as the kids.

Buy Now $254.99

What makes this new Kylo Ren lightsaber, which just launched, stand out? It contains crystal activators that split the plasma stream into three channels. Unlike their cheaper brethren, Force FX lightsabers have a real metal hilt, plus they light up and make movie-inspired lightsaber sounds.

Wicked Big Sports Kickball Set

The ultimate super-sized kickball set for the dad who likes to let it rip.

Buy Now $24.95

You could get a ball. Or you get a ball thats twice the size of his head. This massive kickball set includes one oversized ball, three bases, one home plate, one pump, and hours of remorseless good times.

NERF Ultra One Motorized Blaster

The most powerful Nerf on the market, for the dad who feels the need to shoot darts an astounding 120 feet.

Buy Now $49.99

The Ultra One is the first blaster to use Nerfs brand-new Nerf Ultra darts, the farthest flying Nerf darts ever. The new design features an innovative flight tip, lightweight foam construction, and aerofin technology, basically a grooved surface that decreases wind resistance.

Nintendo Switch Lite - Gray

For the gamer dad, here's a less expensive but equally entertaining take on the wildly successful console thats now insanely portable.

Buy Now $199.96

Where the original Switch could be plugged into a TV, the Switch Lite cannot. Its a purely handheld gaming machine, which means its not compatible with Nintendo Switch games that dont support that gaming style, and its perfect for gaming on the go.

Rockwell Razors 6C Adjustable Double Edge Safety Razors

Give him the best shave possible with this beautiful safety razor.

Buy Now $49.99

He gets a customized shave with this razor, which has six fully adjustable settings thanks to the different plates he can swap out. They work on every skin type and every beard length. Oh, and the razor looks damn fine, too.

The Polaroid Lab Digital to Analog Polaroid Photo Printer

For the dad who digs retro photos, get him the Polaroid Lab that converts digital pics on his phone to real Polaroid prints through the app.

Buy Now $129.99

The Polaroid Lab projects the photo from his phone, exposing it onto Polaroid film. Its low-fi and moody, but it produces a vintage result difficult to match with filters and other modern hacks. And hell wind up with very dope-looking keepsakes.

Filson Field Watch

This impressive field watch, from one of our favorite brands, was inspired by the classic timepieces issued to U.S. military servicemen.

Buy Now $350.00

Both stunning and stunningly rugged, the Filson field watch is easy to read in any light condition, be it day, night, fog, or blinding sun. It has a stainless steel case, a scratch-proof and antireflective sapphire crystal, and a 100-meter water-resistant rating. In summary, everything dad needs. And nothing extraneous.

Bulgari Man Wood Neroli

This rich, earthy scent is perfect for the dad who likes to smell great, but in a very understated way.

Buy Now $65.98

This scent is captivating. But its also subtle. Its most like a fall stroll through the woods, and each bottle is made from 90 percent recycled glass.

Shwood Francis Round Wood Sunglasses

These classic shades have a rounded silhouette and keyhole bridge that is stylish without going overboard.

Buy Now $199.00

Each pair of these sunglasses takes nearly two hours to make, by hand. The end result: A modern classic that flatters everyone. They have wood inlays, five barrel German hinges, and of course, 100 percent UVA/UVB protection.

Col. Littleton Full-Grain Leather No.20 Small Portfolio

A journal is an essential for all dads this leather one looks the part.

Buy Now $98.50

Its all in the details. This leather journal has a brass stud closure, and includes one custom five by eight memo pad. The inside pocket fits extra documents and includes a pen/pencil slot.

Sanuk Men's Vagabond Slip On

If he's into casual comfort, he'll love these super-chill slip-ons. He gets a shoe upper with a sandal bottom. The washed canvas shoe goes with anything, too.

Buy Now $43.60

Torn between a sneaker or a sandal? Get him two for one with this pair of Sanuk slip-ons, which are so comfortable hell forget hes wearing footwear. We particularly like the nicely distressed visible seams.

Osprey Axis Backpack

From hikes to the beach, this is the ultimate weekending backpack.

Buy Now $79.95

If dad is lugging around his travel gear, or merely stuff to the office, hell appreciate this new Osprey backpack. It has a breathable back panel, a soft harness, and an adjustable sternum strap making it ideal for long day hikes. And of course, theres room for all his tech, plus mesh side pockets to he an access everything he needs. Oh, right, and it weighs just over one pound.

Technically, Old Forester Birthday Bourbon doesnt release until September 2, in commemoration of Brown-Forman founder George Garvin Browns birthday. But we want to remind you to start making nice with your liquor store owner now on the off chance you can charm your way into getting them to set one aside for you. We tasted a small, early sample, and the 2019 Birthday is has notes of dark fruit and maple as well as seasonedoak and some mint and pepper. Its a hell of a bottle.

Buy Now $100

Bontrager Flare R USB Tail Light

This best-in-class LED is a must for all cyclist dads.

Buy Now $58.91

You cant get more powerful than this 65-lumen Cree LED light, which can be spotted from more than two kilometers away at night. It has two daytime visibility modes and two nighttime modes. And he uses a USB cable to recharge it.

Atech Multifunction Pen

No, a pen is not the most unique of gifts, but how about one that converts into a screwdriver, bottle opener, and phone stand?

Handy dad gets a ballpoint pen, stylus, bottle opener, mini flat-head, Phillips screwdriver, metric and inch ruler, plus a phone stand.

Topeak Bikamper One-Person Bicycling Tent

Dad might not be an avid bikepacker yet, but hell thank you for his next adventurous obsession when you get him this insanely cool biking tent. It packs down to a bike-friendly size and has its own sack that straps to his bars.

Buy Now $259.95

When unpacked, this tent is a roomy 17 feet in size. Its made of water-resistant, 45-denier nylon with three mesh panels for ventilation and is fully waterproof. Instead of using poles, the Bikamper uses the bikes front wheel to maintain its shape.

Oakley Men's OO9102 Holbrook Square Sunglasses

These hardcore sports sunglasses will help dad protect his eyes when he's at the beach, on hikes, or when he's on a boat.

Buy Now $176.00

These workhorse outdoors sunglasses have it all: They block outUVA, UVB, UVC and harmful blue light up to 400mm. The lenses are made of ultra lightweight Plutonite, so they wont crack or break. And he gets killer clarity at every angle.

Blundstone Unisex Original 500 Series Boots

They're chic, comfortable, and something dad will wear all day, every day.

Buy Now $183.45

These are, without question, the perfect work boots.Theyre made of 2.5-millimeter-thick weather-proof leather, have a shock protection system, and a removable Cambrelle footbed that wicks moisture away.

The release of Michters 10 Year Rye (as well as their bourbon) is always cause to celebrate. Its always a special bottle we are keen to add to the bar and this years edition is particularly delightful, not only because its delicious but its also the first release newly-minted Master Distiller Dan McKee. Supple vanilla rolls around the palate, while caramel and touch of salt play off the peppery rye spice.

Buy Now $175

Taylor Stitch Lodge Sweater

The perfect sweater, this one feel ridiculously soft, like dad is wearing a warm hug.

BUY NOW $168.00

Both deliciously lightweight and yet decadently luxurious, this is a winter wardrobe staple. The sweater, made from soft baby yak wool, works just as well under a leather jacket as it does paired with jeans and sneakers.

Luminox Men's 3051.BO Navy Seal Diving Watch

For dad who loves to dive, get him this outstanding diving watch, which is water resistant to 660 feet.

Buy Now $239.99

For the recreational scuba diver, this is the watch to get, full stop. It can handle 660 foot long dives, and has a black PU strap with stainless steel signature buckle.

Hanks Legend Black Belt

Every dad needs a classic, no-frills black leather belt in his clothing arsenal.

Buy Now $54.99

You dont use a belt to hoist your pants up. You use it to complete your look and make it streamlined. This belt, made from one solid piece of full-grain leather, is that essential accessory.

adidas Originals Men's Stan Smith Leather Sneaker

Every dad needs a timeless pair of white kicks, and these Stan Smith sneakers fully capture the clean style of the '70s original and never look dated.

Buy Now $58.40

Think tennis icons like Jimmy Connors orJohn McEnroe. Those dudes inspired this Stan Smith classic, which features a sleek upper with three perforated stripes for breathability. They have a full grain leather upper with a soft moisture-wicking lining, so his feet wont stink (much). Hey, even Kanye and Alexander Skarsgrd have worn them.

No, its not entirely whiskey, but the Basil Hayden Caribbean Reserve Rye is none the less delicious. A blend of Kentucky rye and Canadian rye, plus a touch of black strap Caribbean rum. The result is a mouthwatering glass of hooch. That small portion of rum goes a long way, giving the juice strong notes of burnt sugar and rum spice, that plays nicely with the ryes vanilla and oak.

Buy Now $53

Every product on Fatherly is independently selected by our editors, writers, and experts. If you click a link on our site and buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.

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Adtwixt - News source http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Adtwixt-News/~3/H8t-AMp5OB4/the-best-gifts-for-dads-for-any-occasion

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johnnyjoe11 · 7 years

Link

Heres a perfect example of how the press the so called left and just about everybody gets its wrong. On a day when everyone is worried about the truth. Notice that? Suddenly the truth is what public consciousness seems to be focused on. And that can't be a bad thing. And its interesting that there is almost a clear coalescence around things in this most "change" of times. But back to our " perfect example." When the truth gets lost- when the press gets it wrong this is how we get here. And the press has had it wrong since the beginning. AND the so called left had it wrong. Remember when you couldn't get the MSM to either Dakota and it was still warm out? When they arrested a very professional journalist for even daring to report it- (ie Democracy Now) remember when they were deploying military grade equipment on peaceful protestors- later even hosing them in sub zero weather? Shooting them in the face with pepper spray and accidentally hitting them with rubber bullets- even their horses. No you probably don't. I can't judge why you can't answer those questions- maybe its time you answered yourself or maybe its not. But it was in the so called lefts domain to answerer them and that would be Obama. Who steadfastly sidestepped the issue even when the national guard was deployed. You see where I am going? And the press is belatedly NOT even covering it now and how its going down. Don't you dare blame this on Trump. Not even close. Pick up your little lasaha opso and throw it in the Prius, go back home. Me and the German Shepard got man's work here. You say what? You say the pipe probably won't leak for 25 years? You don't know shit. And the NYTimes didn't tell you is no friggin excuse. There are leaks occurring every day- there were dozens that don't get an iota of press. Weird how Trump says there were lots of terrorist attacks that don't get reported and the press lifts its little noggin. How about the leaks? Just how about them? That don’t get reported, FOR REAl. Maybe the Army Corps has been getting paid off to cover them up? One more thing. I am the only one who can save you. You got no chance. But listen up. What NOBODY tells you is why a pipeline would leak. PLAIN TALK. And Trump has been Trumping you to death. They leak dear citizen because they rot from the inside out. No- you didn't know that. They rot faster than Hell because in this case they aren't carrying #1 Sweet- they are going to be pumping under high pressure HEATED super toxic super acidic super gritty ( as in sandpaper) tar sands. Hun? Never thought of that? Never heard the press report that? Well guess what folks - there is no free press in this country that isn't neo liberal or neo conservative- except for the ones I have been posting for your sorry ass for years now. Only me- I am the only one who can save you. Only I have welded on these pipes in Bakersfield California- and it ain't pretty. They look almost nice on the outside. A little old - not shiny or ‘mint’ - but solid looking. Right. One amp of DC current and they dissenigrate into primordial nothing ness. No not nothing - complete shit. And thats after a few lazy gravity fed #3 grade oil common in California. The stuff your scardy cat Army Corp of Engineeres is giving its blessing to is like Anti - Draino - liquid invisible steel with amalgamating properties. Invisible because thats what happens to the steel. Made in America my ASS. Your grandchildrens ass. Look - theres a reason we don't have a 100% control of the existential world. Its complicated. I know that - other wise there would fusion not fission to produce unlimited energy for our consumption. God knows we could use it. But its the same damn thing as right here in Indian Territory. There is NO way to control the leaks in a long term power plant. Of course we say we can handle 'spills' that aren't radio active. Well ask the Gulf Coast that. Ask Valdez that. Ask Kalamazoo that. And ask the literally 1,000’s of leaks yearly all over America. And we can damn up all the Rivers? If you don't want any fish - or if you are OK with farm raised fish full of lice. We can do that. Existentially speaking. We can also talk - plain talk- no PC talk. Easy talk. And grow the hell up.

#standing rock sioux tribe

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adtwixt · 4 years

Text

Adtwixt - News: The Best Gifts For Dads, For Any Occasion

Genuine Crazy Horse Leather Electronics Organizer

This gorgeously weathered leather bag will keep electronics organized when dads traveling for work or play.

Buy Now $43.21

Garmin Legacy Hero Series Marvel Captain America Smartwatch

For the dad who loves workouts and superheroes, get him this stunner of a smartwatch

Buy Now $399.99

Peak Design Tech Pouch

This is the ultimate solution to organize all of dads cords and tech gear.

Buy Now $59.95

Hestra Elk Utsjo Glove

For the dad who'd rather be hitting the slopes, arm him with these glorious insulated gloves.

Buy Now $159.95

These gloves are no joke. Theyre pre-curved and made fromNordic elk leather and insulated with Primaloft Gold synthetic insulation. His hands will feel like theyre encased in down.

Full Windsor The Muncher

If dad would prefer to eat his Christmas feast over an open fire, get him this do-it-all multi-tool.

Buy Now $49.99

Celestron 70mm Travel Scope

So dad is into stargazing? He'll see the Big Dipper with this ingenious portable travel telescope that he can take on his outdoor adventures.

Buy Now $59.99

Glerups GR Charcoal Slippers

When it's frigid outside, keep his dogs warm with these luxe wool slippers.

Buy Now $154.95

These Danish slippers have a wool upper, a rubber sole, and the kind of thoughtful construction that keep his feet warm, but never overheated or sweaty.

Engraved Hammer for Dad

If dad loves his home-improvement and DIY projects, he'll be wowed by this personalized hammer, featuring a laser-engraved saying your choice.

Buy Now $25.99

TAC-FORCE TF606WS Engraved Tactical Assisted Opening Pocket Knife

There are great pocketknives, and then there are great pocketknives that have extra meaning. This is the latter.

Buy Now $25.95

Sennheiser Wireless Headphones

These crystal clear wireless headphones are the best ones for audiophiles.

Buy Now $399.95

Garmin Fenix 6X Pro Solar Smartwatch

This is the watch for dads who like to hike, bike, and run on trails.

Buy Now $999.99

PHOOZY Thermal Phone Case

Every dad needs an awesome phone case that prevents overheating and extends battery life.

Buy Now $29.99

This phone case not only keeps his phone from overheating in the sun, butis water-resistant, splash-proof, and it floats if dropped in the water.

LEATHERMAN Wave Plus Multitool

This multitool fits all the tools you could ever need for a camping excursion in one stunning package.

Buy Now $99.00

Buy Now $65

Bellroy Dopp Kit

This handsome dopp kit has a water-resistant lining for an easy wipe down.

Buy Now $55.00

Carhartt Men's Woodside Acrylic Hat

Bad hair day? Never, not with this ruggedly good-looking Carhartt beanie.

Buy Now $19.99

This hat, so simple yet so perfect, combines waffle-knit and 3M Thinsulate lining to keep his noggin warm, no matter how gnarly the weather is.

POWERUP 3.0 Original Smartphone Controlled Paper Airplane

This thing is so simple, it's brilliant: A paper plane dad controls from his phone.

Buy Now $49.99

A simple plane turns into a remote-control flying beast that can go up to 180 feet,and he controls the plane with his smartphone through the app.

Explorer Men's Solid Cologne by ulio and jack

Of course dad needs to smell great when he's on the road, so arm him with this on-point, non-greasy solid cologne that fits in his pocket.

Buy Now $24.00

No dude wants to smell like he just walked into an Axe pit. This solid cologne is understated and minimalist,with notes of bergamot, jasmine, Japanese grapefruit and a dash of peppermint.

Master & Dynamic MW07 GO True Wireless Earphones

Not only do these offer superior fit, whether he's taking calls or running on the treadmill, but they give 22 hours of listening time.

Buy Now $199.00

For the dad who goes hard on his headphones, get him the new Master and Dynamic earbuds that have quick pairing technology and a 30 meter/100 feet connectivity range, so hes never out of touch.

Filson Men's Dryden 2 Wheel Carry On Suitcase

You'll never find a more impressive travel bag for dad than this Filson one, made of ballistic nylon.

Buy Now $295.00

MenScience Androceuticals Travel Kit

This top-notch anti-aging travel kit will help dad keeping young beyond his years.

Buy Now $86.00

Pendleton Yakima Camp Wool Throw Blanket

For the dad who loves himself a good ski trip, or just reading a book in front of an open fire, help him stay warm with this pure virgin wool and cotton throw blanket.

Buy Now $99.50

Fun fact: Camp blankets much like this one were originally used by shepherds to brave the brutal elements of the Pacific Northwest. And this wool and cotton blanket is ideal for outdoorsmen.

Dango D01 Dapper Pen Bifold Wallet

This wallet has it all and comes in a slim package.

Buy Now $109.00

Red Wing Heritage Wallet

There's a time and a place for minimalist wallets, but if dad needs something a tad bigger, go with this beauty that's slim yet roomy.

Buy Now $109.99

Jaybird Vista True Wireless Bluetooth Sport Waterproof Earbuds

Easy to pack and easy on the ears, these headphones are a foolproof workout companion.

Buy Now $179.97

BLACK + BLUM - Stainless Steel Sandwich Box

This is simply the best-looking sandwich box for the modern brown bagger.

Buy Now $31.80

MEATER+165ft Long Range Smart Wireless Meat Thermometer

This is the most high-tech meat thermometer you can buy.

Buy Now $99.00

Personalized Miniature Steak Branding Iron by Sloan Brands

Sure, this branding iron is a gimmick, but one dadll use over and over.

Buy Now $25.00

With these personalized branding iron, he can leave his mark on chickens, steaks, burgers, or pork chops. Even quesadillas. Theyre just over one inch tall and easy to use.

Buy Now $69

Opinel Nomad Camping Utensil Kit

This camping cook gear set is compact and handsome as hell.

Buy Now $67.10

Plott Cubit Smart Virtual Reality Measuring Tool

A VR measuring tool might sound like a high-tech gimmick, but this will fast become the go-to gear for every home improvement project.

Buy Now $92.28

Gerber Flatiron Folding Cleaver Pocket Knife

For the dad who'd rather be chopping wood, it's a folding cleaver in a pocket knife's body.

Buy Now $34.00

This stunning cleaver knife has a badass cleaver blade, a textured aluminum handle and a sturdy folding frame lock design, plus a nicely textured handle.

DJI Mavic 2 Pro Drone Quadcopter with Hasselblad Camera

Mavic makes the worlds best small drones with cameras, and this one, with 27 minutes of flight time, is no exception.

Buy Now $1,699.00

Star Wars The Black Series Kylo Ren Force Fx Lightsaber

Because dads love Star Wars toys just as much as the kids.

Buy Now $254.99

Wicked Big Sports Kickball Set

The ultimate super-sized kickball set for the dad who likes to let it rip.

Buy Now $24.95

NERF Ultra One Motorized Blaster

The most powerful Nerf on the market, for the dad who feels the need to shoot darts an astounding 120 feet.

Buy Now $49.99

Nintendo Switch Lite - Gray

For the gamer dad, here's a less expensive but equally entertaining take on the wildly successful console thats now insanely portable.

Buy Now $199.96

Rockwell Razors 6C Adjustable Double Edge Safety Razors

Give him the best shave possible with this beautiful safety razor.

Buy Now $49.99

The Polaroid Lab Digital to Analog Polaroid Photo Printer

For the dad who digs retro photos, get him the Polaroid Lab that converts digital pics on his phone to real Polaroid prints through the app.

Buy Now $129.99

Filson Field Watch

This impressive field watch, from one of our favorite brands, was inspired by the classic timepieces issued to U.S. military servicemen.

Buy Now $350.00

Bulgari Man Wood Neroli

This rich, earthy scent is perfect for the dad who likes to smell great, but in a very understated way.

Buy Now $65.98

This scent is captivating. But its also subtle. Its most like a fall stroll through the woods, and each bottle is made from 90 percent recycled glass.

Shwood Francis Round Wood Sunglasses

These classic shades have a rounded silhouette and keyhole bridge that is stylish without going overboard.

Buy Now $199.00

Col. Littleton Full-Grain Leather No.20 Small Portfolio

A journal is an essential for all dads this leather one looks the part.

Buy Now $98.50

Its all in the details. This leather journal has a brass stud closure, and includes one custom five by eight memo pad. The inside pocket fits extra documents and includes a pen/pencil slot.

Sanuk Men's Vagabond Slip On

If he's into casual comfort, he'll love these super-chill slip-ons. He gets a shoe upper with a sandal bottom. The washed canvas shoe goes with anything, too.

Buy Now $43.60

Osprey Axis Backpack

From hikes to the beach, this is the ultimate weekending backpack.

Buy Now $79.95

Buy Now $100

Bontrager Flare R USB Tail Light

This best-in-class LED is a must for all cyclist dads.

Buy Now $58.91

Atech Multifunction Pen

No, a pen is not the most unique of gifts, but how about one that converts into a screwdriver, bottle opener, and phone stand?

Handy dad gets a ballpoint pen, stylus, bottle opener, mini flat-head, Phillips screwdriver, metric and inch ruler, plus a phone stand.

Topeak Bikamper One-Person Bicycling Tent

Buy Now $259.95

Oakley Men's OO9102 Holbrook Square Sunglasses

These hardcore sports sunglasses will help dad protect his eyes when he's at the beach, on hikes, or when he's on a boat.

Buy Now $176.00

Blundstone Unisex Original 500 Series Boots

They're chic, comfortable, and something dad will wear all day, every day.

Buy Now $183.45

Buy Now $175

Taylor Stitch Lodge Sweater

The perfect sweater, this one feel ridiculously soft, like dad is wearing a warm hug.

BUY NOW $168.00

Luminox Men's 3051.BO Navy Seal Diving Watch

For dad who loves to dive, get him this outstanding diving watch, which is water resistant to 660 feet.

Buy Now $239.99

For the recreational scuba diver, this is the watch to get, full stop. It can handle 660 foot long dives, and has a black PU strap with stainless steel signature buckle.

Hanks Legend Black Belt

Every dad needs a classic, no-frills black leather belt in his clothing arsenal.

Buy Now $54.99

You dont use a belt to hoist your pants up. You use it to complete your look and make it streamlined. This belt, made from one solid piece of full-grain leather, is that essential accessory.

adidas Originals Men's Stan Smith Leather Sneaker

Every dad needs a timeless pair of white kicks, and these Stan Smith sneakers fully capture the clean style of the '70s original and never look dated.

Buy Now $58.40

Buy Now $53

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