#the boys are GOOD at heroism and being ninjas and saving people

[turtleblogatlast]

Sometimes I think about how the turtles are just kids, y’know? Just kids and yet it’s up to them to save people, save New York, save the world.

It’s honestly really sad. They were created to be soldiers and while they chose to protect rather than destroy, they remain soldiers all the same.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #it’s morbidly funny how the movie tries to push the whole idea of responsibility and heroism on Leo and the audience but uh #that’s a sixteen year old #and Raph is only seventeen #these kids became vigilantes for FUN and now it’s a responsibility all of a sudden like bro #it’s very heartbreaking to witness a childhood cut short #the boys are GOOD at heroism and being ninjas and saving people #but it leaves a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth when a kid acting like a kid instead of a Hero is presented as a bad thing #it’s why I was so happy to see Raph get to join in on the pizza stack competition at the end of the movie #but at the end we already see Leo much more mature in comparison and #I can’t help but feel sad about it

[cerberussyndrome]

on catalysts

summary: meta not!fic about Team Minato being the big turning points in each others’ character arcs.

cw: canon-typical violence + child soldier-ing, canon compliant character death

Rin is Obito's, Obito (and before him, Sakumo) is Kakashi's. (Obito might also be Rin's, who knows. Minato's kind of a blank canvas in his early years.)

The boys fixate. The boys mourn. The boys idealize. The boys, to an extent, polish their memories into something that reflects what they need more than what the other person was. This comes with problems.

For Obito, Rin is the first person who believes in him and his dreams.

He's the Uchiha black sheep, the perpetually-tardy laughing stock of his graduating class. For fuck's sake, the kid loses to Guy because he's eating candy.

Rin is his best friend, his constant support. When he opens up about his personal and often-mocked dream of becoming Hokage, Rin's response isn't to laugh, or to tease, but to encourage him. Yes, she says, let's end the war. Let's change everything. She says, don't pretend with me. And he's in love with her, of course. He's young, in the middle of a war, and in love with her, and the intensity of those emotions felt like they stretched to encompass the entire sky. She is his most precious person. (They are going to survive the war, he thinks, they are going to win.)

And then the rocks are falling, Kakashi is falling, and it's not even a choice.

(He gives Kakashi his eye — you're a great jounin — like proof, like rebellion. Here is a thing that says I lived. His last request he spends on Rin: keep her safe. His last thought is only a quiet wish for more time.)

Obito wakes up in the dark. Half his body isn't his fucking body anymore, and he's imprisoned in some weird-ass cave with his creepy ancestor(?) and some inhuman plant-thingies. He can't move. He's a ninja and he can't move and his team probably thinks he's dead, and there's a war on. There's a war on, holy shit what if they die and he's stuck here in this fucking cave and he never even sees the sun again?

So he trains.

When he's tired, and lonely, he thinks about them — Rin and Kakashi and Minato-sensei. He dreams of them, even.

He gets out of the cave and he's running, he's running, his team is in danger, Rin is in danger, where the hell is Minato-sensei?

He comes into the clearing and the first thing he sees is Kakashi's hand through Rin's chest.

(When Obito was younger, when faith was a solid thing beneath his fingertips, he thought that life was good, people were good. Sometimes he looked at Rin, laughing, joyful, and tucked the sight of it away in his chest. It was a warm ember that burned bright even when there was shame in his stomach or fear in his throat. He screamed as the rocks fell, as his team ran for their lives and he was left behind in the dark. When he woke up in that cold cave, he warmed his hands on that memory of love and smiled.)

His eye burns. Like broken promises, like blood between his fingers, like the full moon overhead.

Rin is dead.

Rin is dead, his team's betrayed him, the whole world must've felt like it was ending.

Madara offers an alternate solution. Obito turns away from his childhood dreams, his childhood faith in other people — what good was that, was good was he then? — and embraces a dream world in its place.

Afterward, Rin is less a girl than she is a memento, all that was good in the world and all that he lost, proof that his theory is indeed correct. It doesn't matter, later, that Rin's death was her own choice, a sacrifice, an act of heroism. Everything that was good about Konoha was personal, for Obito, because everything that was good about Konoha was in Rin. In the coming years, Obito believes the entirety of the world is worthless, the entirety of the world is hell. There is nothing worth saving here.

In death, Obito turns Rin from a soldier to a shrine, as if she were the only thing untouched by the sins of the mortal earth.

—

For Kakashi, Sakumo is everything: not only his father, his precious parent, but the sum of Kakashi's expectations of the world. He is a clan child and a prodigy and there is never doubt that he'll become a shinobi — and the White Fang of Konoha is the epitome of a shinobi.

Then his father comes back, turns distant, turns cold, turns strangely, terribly sad. Kakashi clings. When that doesn't work, doesn't retrace time back to before, Kakashi trains. His father is everything in the world — Kakashi will make him proud if it kills him.

Then he comes home one day and opens the study door and his father's blood pools around his feet.

Afterward, he looks for something infallible to hold his faith.

(Sentiment led to his father’s fall. Conversely, a shinobi with no emotion would be the perfect tool. If Sakumo hadn’t loved his team, perhaps he’d be alive.)

Obito is the antithesis of a soldier. He's loud, emotional. He's the opposite of a shinobi, Kakashi thinks, and all Kakashi wants these days is to be the consummate shinobi (not like his father). He was never all that nice in the first place, given to honesty over flattery, and Obito stands in opposition to everything Kakashi is and wants to be. It gets under his skin. They argue. They compete. Kakashi beats him; thinks, there. Thinks, is that enough proof for you? Thinks, get your act together before you get us killed.

They take Rin. And Kakashi knows, deep in his gut, that this is it, this is his crucible, this is what he has been waiting for; this is how he will prove he is better than his father.

Obito says, The White Fang was a hero.

Kakashi tries to run. He tries to leave them behind, this wreck of a team that's always been a burden, but his shoulder twinges. He thinks of Rin, Rin's careful hands and cool chakra, thinks of Obito, his ironclad loyalty, thinks of Minato-sensei saying, teamwork.

He goes back. He loses an eye, gains infinitely more precious things in its place: trust and faith and being part of a greater whole.

The rocks fall.

The dust clears.

It is Obito in the dirt, Obito crushed and bleeding. Kakashi knows in his bones that it should've been him.

Obito gives him his eye. Kakashi swears in turn, gains purpose in this frenzied war other than the drive to survive and climb the ranks and bring glory to his name. At Obito’s grave, Kakashi can admit that he was wrong. The things he thought mattered — rules and records and his name decoupled from his father's — never had. He has a second chance now, and he won't waste it.

Rin jumps in front of his Raikiri, and there is something blank in Kakashi's head, something disbelieving. Then there's only darkness. He wakes up to white hospital walls and the smell of antiseptic. Even though his hands are clean, he can't get rid of the feeling of Rin's blood between his fingers, like grief, like failure, like accusation.

(What would Obito say to him now?)

(His father had been many things, but he'd saved all his teammates.)

A couple years later, war come and gone, Kyuubi come and gone, everyone who Kakashi loves is dead. In the mornings, he spends hours in front of the memorial stone, looking for atonement at first, then just something to ease the loneliness. In the meantime, Obito's turned from dead-last burden to aching regret — a martyr to friendship and misplaced faith. Kakashi polishes his memory of him into something unreal and perfect. Sometimes in his darker moments, he warmed himself with the shining memory of him. He spends his life trying (and failing) to live up to his own impossible standards.

Obito becomes the sum of all his regrets and mistakes and failures, everything he might've had if he'd only gotten over himself, if he'd only been better.

tl;dr In the process of becoming a villain, or something like it, Obito memorializes Rin, disregards everything she died for. In the process of becoming a hero, or something like it, Kakashi idealizes Obito, tries to embody everything he died for.

#my writing #naruto #meta #not!fic #i wrote this literal years ago #anyway team minato makes me sad #uchiha obito #hatake kakashi #nohara rin

[gofancyninjaworld]

Garou and the futility of heroism

.With much thanks to @the-nysh for the conversation.  I thought of making this longer and more detailed, but I know myself: it’ll turn into one of those drafts that hangs around for years.

 I've recently been reading the Epic of Gilgamesh as a part of reducing my terrible ignorance of the foundations of Western literature.  Cracking good yarn, highly recommended, but I’m not here to talk literature. The latter half of the story is dominated by Gilgamesh’s struggle against the idea that he was inevitably going to die.

Where this relates to Garou is not that he’s railing against the inevitability of death and the reality that everything built up over a life will crumble to dust.  What Garou is struggling against is the seeming futility of heroism.

His specific approach is all sorts of bad, but the reality he's struggling against is something brought up repeatedly in One-Punch Man.  One of the *big* themes in One-Punch Man is critically examining what a hero is actually good *for*.  No matter how diligent a hero is, no matter how strong they are, the world's evils do not disappear. 

It's very outrageous and painful to acknowledge how small and fleeting one's efforts are in the grand scheme of things. 

The moment we get a look into Saitama’s thoughts, it’s the very first thing he leads with.  Literally the very first sentence of his thinking.

Saitama might be the strongest hero ever, able to defeat anything in one punch.  Not only has the world not become a better place as a result of his actions, but the very neighbourhood he lives in has become depopulated as it’s become too dangerous to live there.  In its own way, having birdsong be the loudest sound in the morning is its own rebuke to Saitama’s ambitions of helping people.

Watchdogman is the most diligent hero ever, with a perfect monster elimination record.  And yet, City Q is as monster-infested as ever.  Should anything happen to him, it will be as if he never existed for all the good his previous efforts will have done its inhabitants.

however diligently he sits, the pedestal he’s on will crumble the moment he cannot do his job any longer.

 And that’s just talking about monsters.  There are a lot of very bad people in OPM world and not just of the cackling mad scientist variety, although it’s got plenty of those too.

The world of One-Punch Man also has evils driven by factors that are far too big for any hero by their action to stop.  Problems best addressed at the political or economic level aren’t going to be solved with a punch.

Even when the evil appears to be tied up with a single person, like the Ninja Village was established by That Man, getting rid of them doesn’t necessarily change affairs.  The Village stole the freedoms and lives of boys for a good fifteen years after Blast defeated That Man.  It was still too profitable to *not* do.

when you think about it, crime must really pay in One-Punch Man!

Even when you say you’re going to do something simple and heroic, like save a single child from the clutches of a monster... what do you mean by ‘saved’, exactly?  How brutally difficult it is to save even a single person, how easily it is that your best efforts to be turned to naught by an adverse event, like springing a rabbit from a trap only to have it swooped up by a hawk, is fully on display this arc. 

so many heroes’ efforts and yet Waganma went almost nowhere...truly like fetching water out of a river with a basket!

Other than Saitama, we see so many other heroes struggle with the reality of how little they can change things in the long term.  Very notable is the conversation that Snek has with Suiryu, where Suiryu challenges Snek to justify why he bothers being a hero at all? “No matter how hard you try, it’s just drops of water on burning rocks,”  Suiryu says, something done for self-satisfaction rather than because it actually creates meaningful change.   Snek’s thoughts mirror Suiryu’s as he considers whether heroes are actually necessary at all.

Let’s bring it back to Garou.  Garou’s Very Bad No Good Plan to Avoid Heroic Heartbreak he laid out in chapter 41.  Quite simply, heroes always have to wait for bad things to happen and then react to punish the evildoers and/or save people. 

I love how long this guy is...um, sorry I was supposed to be typing something insightful here

But what if it was possible to take the initiative instead, like a monster does?  What if people could stop wanting to be bad and monsters could stop wanting to attack people?  That’s where the Human Monster was born, the quest to create a persona so strong that no one could oppose it, and so senselessly evil that no one dared to do anything that attracted its attention.

punishing the good and evil alike, don’t make him come your way if you know what’s good for you.

I see a lot of readers read superficially, misunderstand and think Garou is punishing heroes in some way. That heroes are bad in some way.  Nothing like that: he attacks heroes because they’re good and devote their lives to protecting people.  After all, only a total monster would do that.  Also, if even the strongest heroes aren’t safe, what hope have the regular people of this world?

All throughout the arc, that Garou doesn’t actually want to be a monster at heart is clear to every actual monster.  It’s clear to us as we see his interactions with Tareo.  It’s clear to him himself as he tries to steel himself to take a life just to prove to himself that he can (thankfully it’s Saitama he tries to kill). 

It’s what makes Saitama’s bullshit-cutting words as cutting as they are.   Ultimately, his trying to scare the world into being good is his way of running away from the tough, heart-breaking work of being a hero.

there is a crazy confidence a hero needs to embody in order to step up, as if by doing so they can do something

The pathos that we can empathise with is that it’s hard to look on a world as messed up as theirs is and not feel that surely, surely there’s something more that one can do.  Garou’s struggle is absolutely legitimate.   However... I’m going to let the however hang a moment...

It’s childish thinking to frame heroism in terms of strength and it’s not much better to frame it in terms of being of exceptional virtuousness.  What a hero is, according to ONE, is someone who can look honestly at the cruelty and randomness of the world, who can acknowledge frankly the fleeting nature of any good they can do, feel the pain of this reality fully.   And then choose to reach a hand out to help anyway.  

In a world where feeling helpless in the face of impossibly large and complex problems feels inevitable, cynicism is too ready a refuge, and just looking out for yourself is common sense, the mere act of reaching that hand out is an act of courage.

not with illusions of good triumphing over evil, but the dogged determination to do the right thing even if the world burns down.  That’s what being a hero is about.

However...

...the way Garou worked out his inner conflict was not legitimate.  He picked the worst possible way at the worst possible time to wrestle with it. Which I think goes to a second theme: that your feelings may be valid.  But that does not mean that every action that follows from those feelings is valid.  Garou hurt a lot of good people and impeded their vital work at a time the world could ill-afford it.

One of the joys of fiction is that not only do characters act for reasons that make sense, but we get to hear and understand *why*. And at the same time, the external actions they take on the world persist. I’m very happy too that ONE isn’t glossing over the consequences of Garou’s actions.  Too many readers pick one or the other and lose half the joy.   

Thankfully, ONE isn’t a half-ass.

It doesn’t become okay for the heroes that Garou attacked that they were assaulted.  It doesn’t become okay for the world that so many people were needlessly deprived of heroes when they needed them most.  And it isn’t okay for Garou that he’s made an outlaw of himself as a result of his actions.   The ramifications on both personal and societal are going to be explored for the individuals involved.  I bless ONE for his conscientiousness and for creating so many excellent characters that make the enterprise worth the candle.

What kind of hero Garou will decide to be and how he’ll make it work in practice, ah that we’re waiting to see.

Coda:

Of course, that’s not the whole story.  There’s one other part.  Occasionally, by being the right person willing and able to step up in the right way at the right time, a hero can change *everything*.

#OPM #meta #Garou #heroes #for a story that is a parody the thoroughness with which it unpicks heroism is very serious #long #yes I said I wasn't going to run long but I have so much more I want to say #which I guess will put people who came for the luls off but there you go #making peace with what one can do as an individual is a very real problem that's both topical and timeless #making peace that nothing lasts forever not even one's achievements is another #finding meaning and a way forward in this impermanent life is a little triumph

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ @sasuhinabigflash2020​​ || Day Twenty-Six: Starry Nights ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Fugaku ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: When Dead Walk ] [ AO3 Link ]

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One thing he’s noticed since this all started...is just how many stars there are in the sky. For most of his life, Sasuke lived in the big city. Sure, a bit out in the suburbs and a more residential area, but there was still enough light pollution to leave little to no starlight. He knew far more about the glow of street lamps, windows, and signs than constellations.

But that changed when the rumors began, and his family acted quicker than most. Though, in all honesty, they were more prepared than most, too.

People started getting...sick. At first, the ever-logical and practical nation of Japan kept everyone calm. But even with their careful management and focus in science...they could not stop the plague that had begun sneaking its way through humanity.

Within weeks, a full-blown zombie outbreak had consumed the island nation...as well as all others. Cities were overrun, panicked people swallowed up in waves. Tiny pockets of survivors were all that was left, facing a new, horrendously hostile world.

But the Uchiha had taken the warning and run with it. Fugaku’s parents, though passed, had left him their rural home in some foothills. Though no longer fully functioning, it had been a farm at one point. And at the first sign of trouble, the head of the family had packed up his family, and his wife’s, and moved the lot of them out into the country.

It was an..adjustment for them all, but the man insisted on taking no chances. His sons and nephew alongside him, he started fixing the place up and reclaiming it from the growth that had tried to consume it. It wasn’t easy, and beyond a few long-past Summers spent at the farm when they were young, none of them had much practice in the art.

But they kept on, only fueled on as the radio (there was no television there) kept relaying more and more worrying tales from the city they’d left behind.

There was no going back.

And then...the radio waves went dead. The cars that had been fleeing past the property stopped coming. And an eerie silence seemed to fall over the world.

That was about a month ago. And so far?

Nothing.

It’s almost...peaceful. And yet all of them realize just how isolating it all is. How...unnatural. Unnerving. But so far, they’re doing all right. The weather has been mild, the work difficult but rewarding. Things are just about up to snuff, now.

But there’s no telling what time will bring. Winter isn’t far off, and they won’t go unnoticed forever, no matter how well-hidden they feel they are.

Which is why gardening and home repair isn’t all Fugaku has been teaching them.

Being a relic from a time long past, the house is full of secrets. Shisui is given an old tantō. Itachi takes a katana. And Sasuke?

“...a bow?”

“Silent, and at a distance,” his father replies sagely, ignoring the boy’s look of disappointment. “A blade means being close enough to be in danger from an enemy like what you will face. But this? This will leave you unheard, and unseen. Your cousin and brother will not have that advantage.”

But Sasuke is still discouraged. It seems so much less...cool to have a bow than a sword. He’s not scared of the undead ones! Practicing nonetheless, he still can’t help but begrudge every shot he makes, even the good ones.

Once he’s good enough? He decides to give himself a little test.

There haven’t been any undead spotted near the farm, yet. But the further out you go, the better your odds of finding one...or many. Packing up for a journey, Sasuke decides it’s high time he killed his first undead one.

Then maybe he can have a blade, too.

He slips away when scheduled to be doing a solo chore, no one around to spot him. Armed and supplied, he heads east toward town. Hours pass with nothing to show for, and by the time Sasuke’s frustration level gets high enough, it’s getting late.

Later than he planned.

Sun sinking as he swears at the empty expanse around him, Sasuke realizes that it’s going to be dark by the time he gets back. Not only will he have to make his way home at night, but he’s going to be in an unholy amount of trouble.

But before his frustration can rise any higher, a cry sounds to his left that chills his bones. It sounds like...a woman? A shrill, panicked screech that makes it abundantly clear that she’s in danger.

Exactly what he’s been waiting for.

The first stars begin to peek through the sky as he tears through the undergrowth, clinging to his drawn and strung bow. The cries have been intermittent, but enough to follow. Hopefully he gets there in time…

Breaking through a treeline to a road, he skids to a stop. Seems his path was off - he wasn’t expecting to hit it so fast. Puffing for air, he scans the darkening environment.

...there!

As he watches, a woman wrenches open the door of an abandoned car, pulling it shut just as a gang of zombies descends upon it. Moans and shrieks sound alongside thumps against the metal frame.

This is it…! Ducking behind another car, Sasuke squints in the twilight. He better make this quick, or it’ll be too dark to see. Nocking an arrow, he stands long enough to line up his shot and let it fly.

With a dull thwack, it lands its mark, and one of them falls. The rest pay it no mind, too focused on the prey trapped in the car.

Another shot, another downed zombie. Then a miss as the bolt instead buries in a shoulder, followed by a kill shot.

In the car, the woman seems to finally notice the thinning of her pursuers, struggling to see where the heroism is coming from.

And by then, Sasuke manages one last shot...and the now-empty street goes unnervingly quiet until the creak of the car door sounds. Shaking like a leaf, a young woman steps out, looking all manner of rough. “H...hello…?”

Sure the coast is clear, Sasuke steps out. “...hey.”

She gawks at him as though he’s some kind of ghost. “You…? How did you -?”

Approaching to grab any arrows left undamaged, Sasuke starts retrieving them and cleaning them off on the undead’s clothes. “Bow and arrows. Silent, and distant.”

...maybe his father had a point.

“That’s amazing…! Oh...f-forgive me, I -. My name is...is Hyūga Hinata. Thank you, for...for saving my life.”

“Uchiha Sasuke,” he replies bluntly. “Are you alone?”

“I -?” At that, she wilts. “...yes. My family and I, we...we fled a few weeks ago. Tried to outrun them, but...we were overrun by a hoard a f-few miles from here. We scattered, I…” Tears build in her eyes. “I d-don’t know if...if anyone else s-survived.”

Sasuke can’t help a small wilt of sympathy. “...well...we can’t look for them in the dark. You’re welcome to come back with me - I know someplace safe. Are you sure there’s no more of those things?”

“I have n-no idea. I just...I just ran…”

“...well, I don’t hear any. Let’s go.” Hefting his things, Sasuke leads the way back down the road - it’ll be faster than fighting through the trees in the dark. Stars shimmer overhead, a nearly-full moon helping to light their way.

Neither of them attempt any small talk. Hinata, clearly too shaken, has no intention of bothering the one person currently keeping her alive.

It’s only once they reach the farm that things get...loud.

Fugaku stalks along the front of the house, looking up as they approach. “...where have you been?”

“I didn’t -!”

“I asked...where. Have. You. Been?” There’s venom in his voice, clearly furious but trying to bite it down.

So, Sasuke tries the truth.

“...practicing.”

“Without telling anyone where you were going or why?”

“I knew you’d stop me.”

“And for good reason!” His tone jumps in volume. “You could have been killed, and we would be none the wiser!”

“If I hadn’t gone out, she would have been!” Sasuke counters, gesturing to Hinata.

Fugaku glances to her as though only just noticing her. “...who are you?”

“H...Hyūga Hinata, sir.”

A harsh breath exhales through the man’s nose. “...what happened?”

“My...my family was on the run. We stopped to camp, and...were ambushed. We fled, got s-separated. I was being chased, and...Uchiha-san saved me. He -? He must be your...your son?”

“...my fool of a son, yes,” Fugaku mutters in reply. “...it was truly him who saved you?”

“Yes...he k-killed the group of undead chasing me. They never even saw him. It was like...those old tales of a ninja. If it weren’t for him...I’d be trapped in that car until I…”

Fugaku watches her, and then sighs. “...both of you, get inside. We can search for your family come morning. But until then, no one leaves the house.” He gives a pointed look to Sasuke before turning and retreating inside.

Sasuke’s head bows before glancing to Hinata, who looks to him in turn. “...my father, Fugaku,” he then offers flatly.

“You...have family here?”

“Mm. Mother, brother, cousin, and aunt. We all fled together over a month ago. This land was my grandfather’s. Never thought we’d need it, let alone like...this.”

“...I’m glad you have it,” is her soft reply, following as he moves through the door and leads her to a spare room. “I...I owe you my life.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sasuke insists. “Just...get some rest. We’ll look for the others once it’s light out.”

She hugs herself. “...I doubt I’ll sleep.”

“Then just lie down. Any bit will help. Until then, there’s nothing else we can do.”

Expression sobering, Hinata merely nods, letting him close the door with a soft, “Goodnight…”

Once it clicks shut, Sasuke stands for a moment, thinking...before retreating to his own room.

Maybe he should break the rules more often.

     This is...really random, but it’s the first thing that came to mind. Also far longer (and later OTL) than I intended. Not gonna get these done any faster if I keep making them too long kjdfhgjfg      ANYWAY, random zombie verse stuff. I dunno. Feels kinda flat to me but I’m worn out from a long couple of days. Hopefully it’s better than I feel it is :’D Either way though, thanks for reading! Just five more to go until I finally catch up and finish this thing, lol

#sasuhinabigflash2020 #shbf2020 #sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #uchiha fugaku #when dead walk [ au ]

[allofthisnonsenseplease]

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 superheroes??

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 Yus. -'u'- Who's got what sorts of powers? Do we wanna make Jack your standard super strength, super speed, flight, lego hair type? or something more tailored to his personality? also, if option A, should he have a secret power as well which he doesn't like using for some reason? and for Gabe, Reaper-esque powers? Or flip it to something that still reference that, but goes in a different direction?

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 LEGO HAIR LMAO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 or maybe even have him be more like Batman? Where he's got skills and gadgets, but isn't super human or enhanced? SUperman has fucking lego hair.

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 ooo i like the batman-esque thing for gabe !!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 you could pop it right off his head.

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 LOL jack is just edgy captain america

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 oh, yeah, him too. like a lego man. i feel like it clicks into place too neat.

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 XDDDDDD i want him to secretly be a mutant or something and yeah like you said earlier has some secret ability bc of it that he doesn't use

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 honest to god, my first thought as i'm sitting here considering what Jack's secret power ought to be was 'can give opponents instant boners' SO. setting that aside XD

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 AHAHAHAHAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 next thought was that he has some sort of mind control thing he can do--like, he can make an opponent so enamored of him that they'll follow any order he gives. but i kinda want his power to be integrated with the other things he can do

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 ooooo i actually like the mind control thing... like he's really uncomfortable w leadership bc he doesn't like making people do things

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 yupyup

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 which informs his whole loner schtick refuses to join any superhero organization

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 and he hates using it bc of ethical reasons, but he WILL if lives are at stake

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 yeah QoQ but he always feels gross after

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 yup. and he tries so hard to avoid it so that he doesn't start to depend on it. plus, part of the reason he feels gross is bc it does give him sort of a power rush, and there is a slight temptation to use it to nudge events in his favor when he's just out, like, barhopping or whatever.

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 yepppppp especially to get people in bed w him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 exactly but that is All Sorts of Wrong and he knows it so he doesn't ever ever do it, and he hates himself for even thinking that it's a possibility. which, to be fair, it technically is. just a repugnant one. anyways, is this sort of a tiger & bunny thing where there's lots of heroes, and they have like, one special quirk, but sometimes someone with the proper tech can go be a hero too? and everybody just kinda thinks that Jack is one of the latter?

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 yeah!! definitely and gabe actually is a batmany type

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 Angela developed the nanite swarm, and Gabe uses it for his hero stuff, and he's got, like, ninja/magician/illusionist tricks to make it seem like he's actually vanishing in a cloud of nanites & other junk. He's the opposite of Jack--a normal dude masquerading as a superpowered super hero

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 gabe of course designs all the aesthetics himself LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 ABSOLUTELY theater kid with a minor in special effects

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 so gabe thinks jack is a lame version of him being a self made super

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 lol that's mean Gabe. He's trying. A for effort, Jack. are they rival heroes then? also, does Gabe work as a lone wolf to help disguise his lack of powers?

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 yeah! so whenever they both end up at the same crime scene they get snippy w each other gabe's flashy dramatics grate on jack's nerves

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/31/2017 XD jack firing off a round of something non-lethal into the disappating swarm of nanites after one of their fiercer arguments

firesonic152 - 10/31/2017 LOL gabe gets pissed bc it makes a rip in his cloak so is gabe like... mad rich and jack is more spiderman-y, way less resources but kinda smart enough to make it work

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 wealthy gabe. w a big mansion. lots of varied, classy, beautifully arranged places for the two of them to fuck. XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 >:3c they're both like. so angrily attracted to each other lol it's one of those gabe is determined to figure out jack's secret identity jack would rather not know anything about gabe. he doesn't want to get invested.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 oh. =( jack's just there for the sex and violence? lol

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 yepp ooo we need to get into origin stories is gabe just... batman all the way dead parents when he was eight and shit except he likes guns

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 lol mmm... well, where does his money come from? inheritance? earned through his own efforts? lottery?

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 shady mafia parents?

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD that might be good, tho--using the mone they made in the illegal trade that eventually got them killed to combat crime paying the community back in his own way

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 yep !! what's jack's origin story something to do w mutant discrimination

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he was spat out of a cornfield fully grown and hitchhiked to the big city

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LMAOO or we could have him figure out his powers in some traumatic way as a child

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 what if his parents tried to send him to a camp to pray the abnormality away when his powers first presented and there was abuse and what not going on, so even after he went home, his relationship with his parents was strained. he didn't stay long, and they didn't look too hard for him when he ran away. He was fourteen or fifteen, and looked a little bit older than he was, but he was in over his head and had to use his power a few times just to get a meal or sometimes a job so that he wouldn't starve to death. he made his way slowly across the country, hitchhiking, mostly. anyone that wanted something more from him than he was comfortable giving as payment for the lift suddenly decided that what they really wanted was to pull over and let this wonderful boy out. Disgusted with himself, wondering if sucking cock wasn't actually a more honest way to get as far from where he'd been born as possible, Jack kept going out of sheer determination. Prolly did a few minor acts of heroism along the way, which gave him a taste for it.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 AW GEEZ QOQ THAT'S UPSETTING AOJCNAECJN i love it lmao he wants to save people to redeem himself!! he never quite recovered from the feeling of self-disgust he got from his parents

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 ta-dah lol

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 lmao jack can tell from all of gabe's fancy gadgets and shit that he's rich as hell and is like super resentful assumes gabe's had a mad easy life and is just doing this for the thrill of it gabe meanwhile can tell jack is pretty angry and reclusive and is curious they always have fun banter in which gabe is overdramatic and jack is overly snarky

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 oooh, a mystery. let's poke it! :D

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 yep! jack accidentally slips up in his snark one day and comments on gabe's sexy ass like "what tf kind of money did you spend on those stupid pants that they cling to your ass like they're painted on" or something and gabe is like lmao you been looking? ;3

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 omg jack

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 jack's been spending a lot of time examining gabe's crotch lately wondering about that D

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 jaaaaaaaaaaaack

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 he's very curious about all gabe's gadgets and their alternate uses

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 jack pls you're supposed to be fighting crime

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 jack gets himself into trouble and gabe saves his ass. gabe insists afterward that jack have some kind of homing beacon in case he ever gets in trouble

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 well, that's sweet of him. Gabe, you big softie. Saying that since Jack doesn't have any powers, it's only right Gabe look after him a bit. He doesn't understand the flash of bitterness on Jack's face, and mistakes it for envy.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 oh geez gabe you are pressing buttons you didn't even realize were there jack hates how much he wants to fuck gabe despite him being annoying as hell

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 lol they're both caught. XD stubborn fucks.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 gabe keeps wanting to like mother jack and jack hates it lmao does jack like have a job irl to make money he's gotta

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 yeah. i think he'd need one lol what if he ends up as Gabe's chauffer or something?

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LOL YES he gets fired from his previous job of something classically superhero like working for a newspaper and he somehow stumbles into becoming gabe's driver it definitely helps that gabe is wildly attracted to him for some unknown reason

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD oh, hey--what if something bad goes down while he's out driving with Gabe one day, and Gabe is all about rushing in to help save the day and Jack, not realizing who his boss is and being afraid that he's going to get himself killed, uses his power to make Gabe drive to safety while he stays to deal w the bad guys

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 AHHH and gabe doesn't know who jack is either once he gets to safety he's like WHAT THE FUCK I JUST LEFT MY DRIVER IN DANGER he quickly gets into costume but by the time he gets there, jack is gone that soldier 76 guy is standing over all the bad guys who are completely beaten to hell

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Gabe is as serious as Jack's ever seen him when he comes dashing up demanding to know what happened to...Jack. XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LOL jack is like what the fuck why does reaper care about. real me.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 oh shit! XD i forgot he was all reaper-y! X''''D fuck, dude, i think i need to turn in. i am Not With It tonight.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 awwwww

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 oh SHIT. yah. it's after 1. i DEFINITELY need to turn in.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 hugs

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;; hugshugs will ttyl <3<3<3

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 sleep well!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 you too.  =) night night

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 so reaper shows up to the crime thing but 76 has already taken care of it. reaper anxiously asks after the collateral damage and 76 gruffly assures him there were no innocent victims

reaper doesn't bother sticking around for banter, he's worried about his (handsome) driver. he rushes back home and changes back into gabriel and calls jack up

jack has to dash into a random alleyway and take off his mask to answer his cell phone XD

gabriel is all worried and asking if jack's hurt, says it's okay if he doesn't want to come into work tomorrow, apologizes for just driving off he's not sure what came over him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 omg and Gabe feels soooooooooo bad about it, honestly, and every word of apology is another stab of guilt for Jack

!! Gabe taking just a little advantage of the situation to use it as an excuse to offer to treat Jack to lunch. Jack starts to decline (bc of course he feels he shouldn't benefit in any way from what he did) but Gabe insists

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 ahhhhhh gabe treats him and jack is once again a little annoyed at gabe's sheer wealth. internally grumbles about these damn rich people

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LOL YEP ahh they start talking and it's a little too east to banter jack has to keep reminding himself that gabe is his employer

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 meanwhile, Gabe sees him forgetting that and isn't about to throw out any reminders XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 hahahaha god gabe wants to sleep w him so bad LOL gabe has a crush on jack and jack has a crush on reaper

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD this feels like that ladybug show

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 YEP gabe tries to apologize again for leaving jack in danger and jack snaps at him to stop with that ahh accidentally "ordering" gabe to stop doing that. and gabe does.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 oooh. so, what if there's, like, a time limit to his powers? 24 hours or so? during which, the infatuation reamins high and people will still do what he says. that way, Jack can accidentally order him to stop (and get a LOVELY little reminder that he's still in charge of gabe) without him being unable to control that power he hates so much.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 AHH jack gets all freaked out and mumbles that he has to go

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 bc obvs, the "date" was only due to his powers

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 oh jaaack he hurries home and kicks a chair over

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 ;; Gabe gives it a couple days to let him have some space, and when things aren't unbearably awkward (somehow???) on the job and Jack doesn't quit, he asks him out to dinner. And Jack kinda shor circuits for a minute as he tries to remember if he mindfucked Gabe again and forgot about it.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 QoQ jack can't deny though. he has a thing for reaper and... gabe kinda reminds him of that....

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 lol jack. listen to that intuition of yours.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack being a bit nervous when he shows up for this date, trying to get past it by making a joke & asking if this is just for fun, or if he ought to look for another job. Gabe actually looks distressed over the idea.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 AWWW gabe gets kinda flustered and says no, no he really... wants to get to know jack better jack bluntly asks if he's looking to sleep together

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Gabe chokes on the sip he was taking.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LOL THE ANSWER IS YES but instead he kinda splutters what?? jack shrugs and looks at him through his eyelashes

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Gabe tries to be both cautious--bc Jack IS his employee--and suave, and fails at both.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 awwww just kinda blurts out that jack is unfairly attractive and he'd really like to... know him better jack smirks which is REALLY UNFAIR and says "in the biblical sense, i assume"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE??

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Gabe feels his control of the situation slipping away. he had planned this, had meant to charm Jack and put him at ease and invite him home after dinner for drinks and maybe something more, but Jack went and threw off his game and now he can't seem to catch up.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 awwww w gabe ahhhh but then something superhero related happens

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack internally cursing up a blue streak, Gabe seriously annoyed but also thankful in a way that he'll have a chance to try again on solid footing

lol what if one found out who the other was bc they got food poisoning which set in during the superheroing, and left them kinda fucked up the next day? what a lame way to expose your secret identity

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDDDDD i feel like i want gabe to be found out first bc he literally has a superhero lair.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 lol Reaper doubling over and raising a hand to his face, being so freaked out by the thought that if he doesn't get away fast enough he's going ot puke in his mask. XD and 76 offers to help out of actual concern and is waved off as Reaper lets slip it was probably something he ate. Then the next day, Jack hears from Gabe that some food poisoning fucked him up.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LMAO jack puts together... rich... food poisoning... similar banter... the whole aesthetic... HOLY SHIT when he comes in to work he starts snooping and finds the lair

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he'd be pissed if he wasn't really turned on his hot (potential) boyfriend is his arrogant rival

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 >:3c he's pretty psyched that the guy he wants to bone turns out to be the guy who wants to bone him soo why does he keep his own identity secret at this point bc he gotta

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 lol question! does Jack fine enough on his snooping to realize that Gabe doesn't actually have any powers?

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 oooooo yeah like finds all the gadgets and stuff

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 lol what if the nanites are semi intelligent, and he activates the swarm and they recognize him and sort of go into a harmless standby mode...and suddenly he's being followed around by Reaperbeans.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 YESS they cling to his ankles and chirp adorably

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he's not a registered user, so he can't give hem any commands, but they spend so long patched into Gabe that his interest in Jack imprinted on them XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDDDDD gabe realizes someone's broken into his lair and runs in w a pistol at the ready but finds jack surrounded by beans

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack, with a cheeky wave: Hey, boss. Can I get a raise?

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack now thinks he has a perfect excuse to get away from Gabe when stuff goes down--bc of course Gabe is gonna want Jack to go someplace safe--and Jack figures he can just drive a little ways away and put on his hero costume. That plan is thwarted the first time such a situation comes up. Gabe actually comes around to the driver's side door & when Jack rolls down the window, Gabe grabs him by the tie and pulls him in for a kiss, then winks and makes some crack about keep ing the meter running and they'll pick up when he gets back.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH jack kinda gapes as gabe goes off to fight evil fuck. how bad of an idea is it to fight bad guys with a boner.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 .... not that it would be the first time lbr

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he's SO FRUSTRATED bc he can't think straight enough to plan a good excuse for what to say if Gabe makes it back to the car before him, so he's STUCK

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 skcjnseckjn he decides it's..... probably fine if 76 doesn't show up this One Time....... gabe can take care of himself for one fight right? omg jack looking around at the tinted windows, then shamefully sinking lower in his seat and thinking about that kiss as he palms at his groin

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD sorry out of context, that seems slightly not the right reaction

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 but i'd been thinking along the same lines--Jack getting himself even more worked up, so that when gabe comes back, he can't even comfortably drive elsewhere until they deal with his situation

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 YAY they clamber into the backseat and jack is for once REALLY glad gabe is rich bc the windows are impossible to see through from the outside

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack telling Gabe between breathless kisses 'don't you ever fucking leave me like that again' and Gabe is touched, 'cause awww, jack was concerned for his safety! <3 but really Jack just doesn't wanna miss out on the ass-kicking sort of action, either. XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDDDDDD he gives gabe a frequently interrupted lecture on making an exit like that and how it's NOT FAIR don't DO that JESUS and gabe is just kinda laughing and murmuring "well if it's gonna get this kinda reaction...." omg jack has to wear a driver's uniform right like a nice dark suit

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 PLEASE

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 ahhhhhh gabe gets it all messy and disheveled

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 with the cap

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 YES

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 and white gloves or is it black gloves? prolly black driving gloves.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 kajncsskjnc gabe gets him the absolute minimum undressed won't even let him take off the gloves jack is like YOU MADE ME WEAR THIS SHIT ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YOU. YOU LECHEROUS FUCK.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 THE GLOVES STAY lol for some reason, i really like the aesthetic of built dudes in tight black tees and gloves.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 me tooooo so does gabe apparently

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he's got good taste in certain things, at least

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 XDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 pfft. Gabe makes Jack a custom uniform for the job. Something like this, but with nothing until about the third button. XD It's just a frame for his tits.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 AHAHAHA YES jack is like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I CAN'T BE SEEN LIKE THIS and gabe is like you. you already put it on without me even asking

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD Jack's like, well, yeah, now follow me to that stupid cliche room you have with the fireplace and the bearskin rug

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 LOL gabe commenting casually one day that it's been awhile since he saw his rival 76

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack freezes up briefly but obviously and hopes Gabe didn't notice.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 ahaha gabe thinks it's jealousy or something >:3c hip checks jack and teases him about it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 ooh...what if Jack, like, starts jokingly trash-talking 76 to kind of sound out Gabe's opinion of him? maybe even suggests that he's hiding a super power?

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 oooooooo

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Gabe's wondering where that idea came from, and Jack tries to shrug it off with something like 'well, you hear stuff' and he suggests that, if that was the case, it would have to be something pretty bad for him to hide it. He isn't prepared for Gabe to defend 76 and argue that even if he does have a superpower, maybe he just doesn't know how to utilize it for crime fighting.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 awwwwwww gabe's jokes that maybe it's something like the ability to make really yummy food or know how the plot of anything is going to end

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 XD Jack kinda basks in it and laughs along as Gabe makes up more and more ridiculous things bc he likes seeing Jack smile. Really, though, Jack is just enjoying these harmless hypotheticals. He's extra affectionate when they have sex later, kissing all along Gabe's jaw and neck, down his arms to his wrists where he turns Gabe's hand to kiss the inside of his wrist and the hollow of his palm. He goes slower than normal, enough that Gabe notices, and reaches out to cup Jack's face and ask him, with a hesitant smile and eyes that show he's trying not to think that something might be wrong, if Jack's okay. And Jack smiles for him, lips stretching wide and tight, eyes crinkling up and it's so strange how that expression almost makes him look like he's about to cry. But he just catches Gabe's hand and pulls it to his mouth for another soft kiss and murmurs into his palm that he's fine, everything is good.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 QOQ AHHHHHHH I'M EMOTIONAL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 <3

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 gabe keeps asking jack to move in with him but jack can't have that bc when he goes home is the only time he has to be 76 also he wouldn't be able to bring all his hero stuff with him to gabe's house and still expect to keep it secret

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he can see that it hurts Gabe a bit every time he refuses, but he isn't ready to explain. the best he can do is just claim that he needs his space (Gabe's counter to that is that Jack can have a whole floor to himself if he wants), or joke weakly that at least this should prove he isn't after Gabe's money.

one night, as they're curled up and Gabe is dozing off, arms around Jack and lips against the top of his head, Jack asks quietly: '...what would you do if I had a superpower?'

Gabe stirrs and hugs him a bit tighter. 'somethin' you need t tell me, Jackie?'

He's so close to saying it. In that moment, with Gabe's warm arms holding him close, he feels safe. But the old fear comes back, and the knowledge that he's been lying by omission, and suddenly, this place he's found for himself seems terrifyingly fragile. 'Just a hypothetical,' he lies, pressing his face against Gabe's chest.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 JAKXNASKJCNASC AHHHHHHH okay now what we need is reaper and 76 fighting a bad guy together and reaper is in danger and soldier has no choice but to use his power

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 He tries to make it as subtle as possible, substituting 'put down your weapon' or 'surrender' with taunts. something like 'looking for a challenge? come get me.' and then running off so that he can manage where Reaper won't see.

but it's still a REALLY strange thing for the bad guy to do, and gabe didn't miss the change in his demeanor.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 dcjkasncbk gabe goes after him but 76 snaps at him to stay back and gabe finds himself just... doing it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 he would do anything for 76. and once 76 is gone, and Gabe has a moment for his head to clear a bit, he realizes that he felt that way once before...with Jack.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 KJSNCESCNJKAEKCHK

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 oh lord. what if, once Gabe knows about Jack's power, he starts to question how much of his feelings are real or if Jack's power caused him to feel that way.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 NOOOO first he sets out on investigating if jack is 76

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 if he looks into Jack's past, one of the last things he'll find before Jack appeared in the city is gonna be the camp.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 maybe Jack was among the last before it was shut down surrounded by scandal. there's a newspaper article where a parent of one of the kids who requested to remain anonymous claims that their child could control people's minds. they ask what they were supposed to do? how could anyone raise a child like that? Once Gabe's ready to confront Jack, he's also angry enough about being manipulated to lead with that. He tosses a copy of that article down in front of Jack with the anonymous quote highlighted, and just says: 'that's you, isn't it?'

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 OH GOD GABE THAT'S JUST GONNA TRIGGER JACK TO HELL AND BACK

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 okay. Jack TOOK CONTROL OF GABE'S MIND TWICE. Gabe isn't being particularly sensitive to Jack's feelings here, but I think he does have cause to be upset. XD

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 true XD but this will not be a fun time for jack's mental health he just kinda freezes and suddenly all the horrible memories from his childhood come rushing back

his face goes white and he nods distantly, staring at the picture of the camp in the newspaper

gabe doesn't know what to do at first. he'd expected jack to put up a fight. he'd thought he'd have to argue.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 Jack shakily trying to speak in a voice that comes out as a whisper, insisting that he didn't use it, that he didn't use it unless he had no choice. He claps a hand over his mouth at one point, looking like he's about to be sick. Gabe is Concerned.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 barely containing his anger, gabe asks jack why he never told him. jack shakes his head and retreats in on himself

gabe tries a different tactic. "you're... soldier 76, right?"

jack just keeps mumbling that he never used it, not unless he had to, he didn't mean to...

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 and at this point, Gabe is getting a bit scared, bc he's never seen Jack like this before.

He kneels and looks up into Jack's face, but whatever Jack's seeing, it isn't there in the room with him. Gabe's anger is shredded away as he thinks guiltily about the glossed-over mentions of abuse in the article about the camp. He hadn't looked any further into that, and he's starting to think that he compounded that initial mistake.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 hhhhhhhh gabe moves to touch jack's face but jack slaps his hand away violently. he looks small and scared.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 jeezus, what if they used to gag Jack so that he couldn't speak and use his power?

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 oh god DDD: what if his voice is all rough bc most of his childhood was spent silent

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 hey, that means we can knock a kink off his list for this one! :D

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 qoq yeah gabe keeps trying to get him to say something but jack's mouth can't seem to form words

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 first job is now to talk him down. after that will be time to rip him a new one. and possibly break up with him.

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 except as soon as jack snaps out of it, he beats gabe to it and shakily tells him he's leaving.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 gabe, you've lost the upper hand once again. Gabe tells him oh no the fuck he isn't, he's going to stay there and explain himself and Gabe is gonna let him have it. Gabe actually physically gets between Jack and the door, and Jack is visibly shaking. Desperate, he tells Gabe that he can make him move, but Gabe calls his bluff. 'Do it, then. I'll call you to account for that, too.'

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 "you wanna break up, right?" jack says, trying to sound angry and intimidating but failing miserably. "then we're done. let me out. i'll never bother you again."

sure, that might end up being the end game for them, but gabe doesn't like how jack is rushing to get there

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 'I don't know yet if that's what I want. You fucked up, Jack. No getting around it. And don't think I'm not fucking pissed at you over it. But I'm still willing to hear your side before throwing you out.'

'I can save you the trouble.'

firesonic152 - 11/01/2017 qOq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/01/2017 'If you're so dead set on leaving, then why am I still standing in your way?'

He watches Jack crumple, and has to keep a rein on his pity. Just because Jack isn't taking advantage right now doesn't mean he was right to in the past.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 'Why, Jack?' He's a bit surprised that the question is the first thing that comes out, but Jack answers.

'He was going to kill you.'

'But once the immediate danger was past, you stopped me.'

He shrugs, looking like a man condemned. 'Once I'm using it, it's hard to focus the effects. It only lasts a day, and it begins to wear off when I'm not around.'

He isn't making excuses, and Gabe presses. 'What about the first time?'

'I didn't know you were Reaper. I didn't want you to get hurt.'

'Have there been any other times you've done it to me?'

'No. I swear.'

ughhh. i think i need to turn in.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 QoQ I'M SO UPSET

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 it could prolly be worse. we can re-work this bit to make it worse tomorrow, if you want.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 oh god. thanks XDDD this one is your fault btw

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 how tf is this MY fault???

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 you made it angsty lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 i did no such thing. my thought for big plot point was to have one of the directors of the camp show up in town w more research and tech and a program promising to remove superpowers--sort of like a reverse SEP. and Jack recognizes the dude immediately and gets super aggressive and angry about him.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 LOL well we can still do that

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 lol tomorrow. also, don't let me forget about Jack being tempted to use the serum or whatevs on himself

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 OH GOD hugs go to bed XD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 hugs night night =u= <3

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 jack takes an offensive stance and says, "gabriel. i'm not going to order you. but i'm leaving and if that means i have to fight you, i will."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! What if Jack, like, for serious leaves? Leaves Gabe's house, leaves the whole city. Goes on the move doing his 76 thing. Gabe had let him go thinking they could both take some time, then talk things out and figure out what it meant for them, but Jack just completely disappears on him.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 omg QoQ he tries to visit Jack's house only to find someone else moved in there. Jack won't pick up the phone. He next hears about 76 being sighted across the country

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 Now the quandary is: use ridiculous wealth to chase down exboyfriend who can mind control him (but who Gabe really misses) or not?

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 Isn't that always the question XDD At first he's kinda pissed at Jack for just up and bolting but the more he lets it stew, the more he gets worried and lonely can Gabe get kidnapped or something and Jack comes back for him ??

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 lol one the local chapters of the gang 76 has been tormenting is all: 'hey, remember when Reaper & 76 used to hang around a lot? Let's grab Reaper & use him as bait.'

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 LOL ahh what if there's a group that like figured out 76's ability and wants to use it for themselves coughs// talon doomfist is v smart after all

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 lol

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 doomfist like straight up overpowers reaper and holds him hostage

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 jack's gonna be soooooooooo pissed

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 yeppp

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 he tried SO HARD

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 and doomfist like takes measures to make sure 76 can't use his power against them like special noise canceling ear plugs and pre-recorded messages and shit so yeah jack shows up kinda vaguely aware that this is 100% a trap but not really caring he puts up a fight and takes out all the grunts without too much trouble but doomfist is another story lmao and doomfist was kind enough to allow gabe to watch this entire thing. gabe is Dying.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 of embarrasment for having been turned into the bait? did one of hte grunts hang a sign around his neck that read bait?

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 LMAO he's like beaten tf up and his pride is in shambles and now jack's fucking taking the bait like an idiot doomfist beats jack up and keeps taunting jack about how he's wasting his powers

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 .......... what if jack like after the blow up with gabe he can't get rid of his powers but someone could get rid of him

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 QOQ he just wants to make sure that gabe can get out and then...

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 so he just lets Doomfist do what he's doing and kick the crap out of him. lol what if one of the Reaperbeans followed him? And Jack figures it can get Gabe out while he creates a diversion (read: gets himself beaten to death)

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 qOq gabe hates seeing jack get the shit kicked out of him but he manages to escape with the help of the reap bean and figures now they can get out together but. jack doesn't follow.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 in true dramatic fashion, is there a bomb somewhere, or are we skipping that cliche? XD

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 LOL like just as he gets out there's an explosion and he thinks jack is dead kind of cliche??

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 maybe even Jack brings the bomb and he's gonna take out Talon's leader (& himself, no biggie)

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 jkdnskcnxmvs HOW DOES JACK SURVIVE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 the reaperbeans flock to his stupid ass. Gabe has to dig him out of the rubble and get him home.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 skajdnakf jack is all fucked up and unconscious. gabe drags him home and jack is PISSED when he wakes up ((pissed at the fact that he did wake up mostly))

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 gabe greets him with a "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING." jack just glares at him and rolls over, unwilling to say anything to him

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 'It's what you thought, too, isn't it?' Jack grumbles. 'That a power like mine shouldn't exist? Couldn't agree more.' He curls tighter into a ball, unwelcoming of anger or concern.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 gabe finally realizes that nobody could hate jack's power more than jack himself ? |D

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 it suddenly hits him that jack set the bomb he thought it was talon even though it didn't really make much sense

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 Gabe feels like someone just knocked the wind out of him. 'Jesus, Jack,' he breathes. He wants so badly to reach out, but this is they first time they've been together since Jack picked up and left town. He isn't sure what's allowed. Hesitantly, expecting Jack to lash out or bolt, he runs his fingers lightly down Jack's arm. When he gets no mor response than a shiver, he sets his palm against Jack's shoulder and strokes soothingly up and down.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 knee jerk reaction was to finally have Jack break down into tears & Gabe climbs into bed behind him to hold him thorugh it. but. dunno if that really fits

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 i want him to accidentally tell gabe to back off with his Command Voice and then collapses even more in on himself

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 y u do this?

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 like as soon as he says it and gabe moves back, jack's like "NO no fuck no i didn't mean...."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 if Jack can't control it, then it's going to be an on going problem, though. Like, what's gonna happen when they fuck? Gabe would do him a mischief if he couldn't keep from obeying Jack shouting out deeper-harder-faster

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 hhhhhhhhh now there's a thought * w *

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 oh my god

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 jack just losing it while gabe fucks him and all his pleading driving gabe insane, something thrilling about the fact that he'd obey anyway but he can't refuse asdjsjbvh

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 you are gonna do him a mischief Gabe goes so hard he snaps Jack's spine lol

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 jesussss i feel like half the problem though is that he just denies his powers altogether so he has no idea how to stop them either HE NEEDS TO FACE HIS FEARS AND ALL THAT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 pls imagine gabe laughing so hard he can't breathe bc jack yells at his avatar in mario cart to go faster as if that will actually work

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 LMAO AHAHAH

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 anyways. Jack can't control his powers. Gabe has seen how much Jack hates his power, and he loves him and is going ot trust that Jack won't turn it against him on purpose, or continue using it once he has--but they DEFINITELY need to have a talk. ((haha remember the one we did where gabe was a useless demon and almost burned down his kitchen trying to make soup for jack and also he had no bowls to put the soup in?))

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 LMAO THAT ONE WAS FUN and yes they need to talk Okay so Jack and gabe need to talk about his powers and they're finally getting somewhere maybe and then the scientist guy shows up w ideas on how to get rid of someone's power

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 AND OFF JACK GOES!

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 He hates the concept but. In his case it really would make his life way easier. so he secretly makes an appointment with the guy

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 AND IT'S ONE OF THE ASSHOLES FROM THE CAMP

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 YEP oh god the guy like recognizes him too and is super polite and nice and being like "ah child I'm so glad we can finally help you" and shit and all those old feelings of wanting to be anyone but himself come bubbling up to the surface for Jack

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 ; ;

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 he keeps it together for the consultation but afterwards he starts thinking about his parents and falls apart a little

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 TT^TT goes out and gets drunk off his ass.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 Hhhh Gabe gets a call from the bar to come pick him up

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 he keeps asking what set thi off, bc usually Jack can at least cut himself off and make it home (they live together now!!), but Jack refuses to say

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 HHHH Jack's primary defense mechanism in this one is to shut up. It's what he's used to.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 you're killin me dude

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 qwq Gabe just wants Jack to talk to him about things. He doesn't know why Jack shuts down and won't say anything He understands Jack's whole self-loathing deal but this particular defense mechanism is such a break from how Jack usually is

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 so how does he get Jack to talk? Or does he hear about the supposed cure and seek out the guy offering it when he realizes that the name was one of the ones he came across while looking into Jack's past?

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 Maybe the guy calls the house to follow up on the consultation and gabe is like WTF

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 oooh. that one. so, are we playing this guy as honestly regretful of the way that camp was handled but still thinking powers are impure and best to be avoided/elliminated? or is he manipulative and a bit evil?

just curious about whether he would tell Gabe a little bit about what happened to Jack when he was younger.

Jack needs fukkin therapy, dude.

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 he does lmao I think this guy is evil/manipulative but genuinely believes he's doing right ya know

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/02/2017 lays it on thick with 'Jack's case was severely mishandled when he was younger, but from our talk earlier, it was obvious that he's in the right mindset. We're here to work with him now, not silence him.'

firesonic152 - 11/02/2017 GABE HAS SO MANY QUESTIONS Like "silence him?" What's with that specific wording...

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/03/2017 ugh that specific wording is proof that i'm no longer ay good with braining today. maybe he assumed that Gabe knew about what happened to Jack and he was trying to convince him that this is what Jack wants. i'mma go ahead and turn in night night <3<3<3

firesonic152 - 11/03/2017 Yeah exactly !! That wording tips Gabe off Ahhhhh good night <33

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/03/2017 :sparkling_heart:

firesonic152 - 11/03/2017 gggghh i was thinking again about jack like being forcibly silent as a kid and like. depending on how early it started he could have had so many developmental delays regarding speech skjfnesfkj

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/03/2017 something to check out when i've got a bit more time later today, sort of find a quick reference about how that might affect someone. in the maentime, him being so rude all the time (and preferring texts) might stem from odd speech patterns--if he's mean, people won't want to talk to him so much, and it just became a habit over the years.

firesonic152 - 11/03/2017 QoQ also just. general lack of good social skills ^^;; sometimes he just pronounces words wrong and tends to overreact to being corrected

SuspiciousPopsicle - 11/03/2017 well, yeah. XD like, it just started out as being defensive over his speech, and got worse with time as being rude got him what he wanted: less expectations that he talk to people. aww...poor isolated Jack. ;;

firesonic152 - 11/03/2017 q-q hhh this is the shit I'm studying I'm excited about this LOL Not this specific kind of case obviously but I am taking a class on language disorders and shit

#cornfuck and the reaper #R76 plot ideas #haven't been able to finish any actual stories to share recently but here is this =)

[recentanimenews]

Who Are the Best 'Bad' Teachers of Anime?

What makes a “bad” teacher? Is it someone who can’t connect to their pupils? Doesn’t understand their subject matter? Or just someone who's super lazy? Depending on who you ask, it all really just might be a matter of perspective — or perhaps a stroke of untapped genius. With so many anime taking place in schools, it’s no surprise that there are just as many colorful teachers as there are students. These sometimes misunderstood classroom superstars might not embody the traditional educator model, but one thing is for certain this Teacher’s Day: They’ve all managed to score an A+ in our heart regardless of their eccentric ways.

All’s Fair in Love and War

Jiraiya and Naruto begin their training

One of the Leaf Village's finest, Naruto’s Jiraiya is a man who needs no introduction. Of the three Sannin, Jiraiya takes our understanding of mentorship to a whole new level. When you think of your favorite teacher, you probably don’t picture their wild side. A proud pervert like Jiraiya certainly doesn’t fit that traditional image — because he’s definitely everything but your typical instructor. Jiraiya, despite being someone you might not want to bring a parent-teacher meeting, doesn’t mess around when it comes to training his pupils into the best shape possible. Business, after all, always comes after pleasure.

Jiraiya offers to teach Naruto his legendary summoning technique

After his legendary encounter with the powerful ninja Hanzō in the Rain Village, Jiraiya was approached with his first pupil: a young boy named Nagato. For Jiraiya, this would spell both the beginning of his teaching life, and many years later, the painful end. Jiraiya, of course, would go on to mentor Minato and his son Naruto during his journey to tame the power of the raging Nine-Tailed Fox inside of him. Of Jiraiya’s many lessons, one of the first remains the most memorable: teaching Naruto his legendary Summoning Technique. But before Naruto can even jump that hurdle, he first must learn his most important lesson yet — the power of concentration, failure, and unending perseverance. Having seen both the best of people and the gruesome realities of war, Jiraiya has shown us what a truly inspirational teacher looks like: someone who never gives up on you and expects the very best, not just on the battlefield, but in your heart.

Hang in there, baby!

 "I was fully prepared to die!"

  Some teachers are tied up in their careers. Others are tied up in an entirely different way. Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei’s Nozomu Itoshiki is one such hopeless teacher. One spring day he attempts to hang a noose around his neck before one of his students saves the day — forever sealing his high school educator fate. Mister Nozomu is a man with an extremely bleak outlook on life and is almost always ready to kick the bucket on a moment’s notice. Fashioning himself as a realist, Nozomu isn’t too shy to talk down to his kids, nor remind them that death is all coming for us. Nozomu is based on the main character Ōba Yōzō from the classic Osamu Dazai novel No Longer Human, a personal favorite of Zetsubou-Sensei artist Kōji Kumeta. Like Dazai’s character, Nozomu had become so disillusioned with society that he’s taken it upon himself to let the entire world know. Nozomu isn’t exactly a “bad” teacher by trade — but he definitely isn’t espousing the beauties of your high school years, either. 

On the first day of class, Nozomu passionately asks his students to fill out "despair surveys"

But what’s a teacher without his students? Nozomu’s colorful class includes students eager to pin animal tails on his behind, a hikikomori, phone addicts, a chronic tsundere, and a radical perfectionist. Even on his best days, Nozomu’s homeroom resembles something like a zoo rather than a proper place of learning. And yet somehow, despite field trips and haywire lessons gone wrong, Nozomu still manages to stick by his students and their wacky ways until the very end. He may in fact, actually be the nihilist saint we need today.

Welcome to the School of Hard Knocks

"...and have fun at Duel Monsters Community College!"

Professor Vellian Crowler of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX fame would like to remind you he has a PhD in dueling and he worked very hard for it, thank you. Among the many faculty members teaching at the prestigious Duel Academy, no other teacher strikes fear into the heart of Obelisk Blue students like Professor Crowler himself. Best known for his brutal Ancient Gear deck, Professor Crowler doesn’t hesitate to go all out during duels to assert the pecking order. Whether he always wins or not, of course, is an entirely different story — especially if your name is Jaden.

Professor Crowlers gives his student a full workout before hitting the duels

To call Professor Crowler unorthodox would be an understatement. In fact, it wouldn’t be too outrageous to call him a bully at his worst behavior. Going so far as to almost sabotage many a student’s Duel Academy career, Crowler has had his truly awful moments. However, toward the end of Jaden’s studies at Duel Academy, Professor Crowler undergoes a much-needed change of heart. Maybe having your spirit possessed by a vampire Shadow Rider does that to you. Or maybe it was when he was spirited away into another dimension and stripped of his winning deck? Or maybe it’s just tough love and good old-fashion character growth. For all his “bad" behavior, Professor Crowler successfully shifted his focus to being a career advisor after being promoted to Duel Academy’s flamboyant vice-principal. Regardless of all the flack he’s given his pupils, Professor Crowler shows unwavering support for their transition into the professional world of dueling. Like every teacher hard on their students, Professor Crowler wants you to believe in your dreams — whether you know it or not. But only if you got enough grit to last.

Making a Heroic Homeroom

"U.A.'s selling point is how unrestricted its school traditions are. That's also how teachers run their classes."

My Hero Academia’s Shota Aizawa, also known by his hero name Eraserhead, is the only teacher on this list for whom “no sleeping in class” doesn’t apply to. Shota doesn’t immediately give off the best impression that he’s interested in his students. Famous for once failing an entire class of hero hopefuls in the past, it almost seems like a cruel joke that anyone would end up with him as their instructor. But don’t let Shota’s seemingly apathetic demeanor fool you — beneath those baggy eyes and, erm, sleeping bag, is a teacher fiercely determined to see the best in his pupils.

Sound advice from U.A.'s best sleeper hit instructor

Shota doesn’t hesitate to tell his students what being a hero is all about, and most importantly, what their weaknesses are. A good teacher — for all the praise and support they give — also needs to find the places where you’ve yet to grow. Although that might be easier said than done when it comes to Class 1-A. Shota is hard because he has to be. Heroism isn’t for the weak-spirited. Even going as far as to defend his student’s decision to fight villains during the disastrous Kamino Incident, Shota’s proven himself as a teacher that would rather see his student thrive beyond the books. In fact, he shines brightest as a teacher outside the classroom. For example, after failing to rescue Eri, a young girl with a mysterious quirk held captive by a crime group, Izuku Midoriya and his peers meet to discuss their next plan of action. Rightfully disappointed, Izuku is practically at a loss of what to do, until Shota gives him these words of encouragement: "If you're going to do this, do this properly, Midoriya." Shota isn’t just raising heroes strong enough to work for agencies or save the day for views. Like the greatest “bad” teachers that ever were, Shota teaches us that in order to learn our hardest lessons we must be ready to get hurt and stand right back up again.

Did we miss out any of your favorite "bad" teachers? What's the greatest lesson you've ever learned in an anime classroom? Let us know in the comments!

  Blake P. is a writer who would actually love to earn a Ph.D. in dueling. He likes old mecha anime, computer games, books, and black coffee. His twitter is @_dispossessed. His bylines include Fanbyte, VRV, Unwinnable, and more.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

[trendingnewsb]

4 Lazy Character Shortcuts Hollywood Can’t Stop Using

The best movie characters are usually the ones whom we sort of identify with. Whether they’re a simple middle-class teenager or a grizzled Matthew McConaughy playing a nihilistic detective trying to find aliens from the future inside a black hole, they work because when they make decisions, we get it. We learn who they are and understand them. Sometimes, though, writers don’t really have time for that shit. Instead, they use some kind of shorthand which (they hope) will have the same profound effect with far less effort. This usually doesn’t work at all. Particularly when …

4

Sudden Sacrifices Are A Substitute For Heroism

What is more powerful than one human being sacrificing their own life to save others, usually to the accompaniment of an orchestra that sounds like it’s about to parade through the screen? You could probably base a whole religion around it. In the world of Hollywood screenwriting, sacrifices can also be written in not to provide a satisfying end to a character’s arc, but to add instant heroism to a character we barely know.

Read Next

Why We Can't Take Our Eyes Off The Things We Hate

Kong: Skull Island (which I think is a great movie) includes a bunch of dispensable soldier characters who are tailor-made to be ape food. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m a fan of slasher films, so I have an appreciation for characters who only exist to say “Hey, guys, what was that noise?” But then, while under an assault from mutant reptiles, one of the soldiers, Captain Cole, pulls out two grenades and stares down one of the beasts. The rest of the cast does the typical “NO! DON’T DO THIS!” thing, like the audience is expected to. No, don’t do it, guy with literally two personality traits.

The guy’s plan goes awry and he ends up being a bloodstain on the side of a cliff, but that’s beside the point. The point is … well, what is the point? The sacrifice doesn’t add a dimension to his character, nor does it say anything poignant about him. Instead, it just makes him look like he’s very bad at thinking through decisions. You’re stranded on an island with a monster ape and ubiquitous leviathans, and your plan is to waste yourself and two precious grenades with your patented “Stand there and hope” maneuver?

Of course, they also did this with Superman at the end of Batman v Superman, in a Hail Mary effort to give us some reason to care. They did the same in I Am Legend, in which Will Smith sacrifices himself to maybe blow up some of the zombies, which is such a pointless act that the director’s cut has Will Smith not do that.

And remember Chappie, that Black Mirror episode, but with more decapitations? At the end of that, Ninja — played by Ninja of the rap group Die Antwoord — tries to sacrifice himself in dramatic slow motion, as if the movie is under the impression that we liked his character. He just spent two hours cursing and emotionally abusing a childlike robot. Sacrifice away, idiot.

If they want us to care, they need to scroll backward a few dozen pages in the script and write the character as someone we’ll either be sad to see go or happy to see redeemed. Oh, and the character needs to stay dead.

3

Making A Character Suddenly Badass (In A Way That Makes No Sense)

There’s nothing better than when a badass character gets a badass payoff. My boys in the Dragon Ball franchise are constantly training so that when the time comes, they can triumphantly punch holes through people. This is immensely satisfying because you, the viewer, get to anticipate seeing them use their skills. There is build-up. So it’s baffling whenever “badass” characters either get that way out of nowhere, or are assigned badass traits that don’t fit their progression at all, like if The Karate Kid ended with Daniel challenging Johnny to a snowmobile race.

Take Arya Stark in Game Of Thrones. A big point is made that she’s not built for swordplay. Her cranky travel companion Sandor Clegane points out that her tiny frame and flimsy sword is useless in a gritty fantasy universe full of giant men in armor. Thus, she learns how to work with poisons and magic disguises, leading us to believe that she’ll be pulling off some rad espionage tactics to fool bad guys who could crush her skull like an egg. Instead, within a couple of seasons, Arya becomes Jason Bourne Lite, shrugging off stabbings and doing sweet parkour. Later, she faces off in a practice duel with giant sword master Brienne and outmaneuvers her easily, smirking the whole time.

Regardless of the fact that she is never shown acquiring that level of skill, the problem is that this character is now superhuman and is in no way someone you can identify with.

Writers can’t resist this, even when a lack of combat training is the entire point of a character. This happens in the recent Death Wish remake, in which Bruce Willis, a surgeon, suddenly becomes a mix of Jigsaw and Rambo, all because he lost his family … and he’s a surgeon? This movie had a lot of problems, but at the very least, it could’ve made sense. I can’t claim to know what they teach you at medical school, but I sincerely doubt it involves target practice. I mean, not yet, anyway. But they couldn’t think of any other way to have him beat the bad guys.

And look, I love Harry Potter‘s Neville Longbottom, but the whole point of him is that he’s a clumsy, nerdy boob. He continues to be that for the first seven and a half movies, until his arc completes with him … cutting a giant snake’s head off in slow motion with a sword? Why? At no point in the series are we clamoring for Neville to be the guy who decapitates magic serpents. He’s shown as having talents — specifically, using magical plants — but all of that goes out the window because in the end, being a hero only means being great with traditional fighting techniques.

I’m not saying that Neville should’ve been watering the shrubs while Voldemort was attacking, but maybe give us something more in line with his character. He can be cool without being Conan. Hell, Breaking Bad spent its whole run inventing ways for a sickly chemistry teacher to defeat drug lords who are stronger and more well-armed than he is. They didn’t simply make him suddenly good at ninjutsu.

2

Gritty “Realism” Is Conveyed Through Ceaseless Cursing

People curse in real life. They do it in the car, they do it in the bedroom, they do it when they’re in line at Gamestop and GODDAMN, RICHARD, THE TRADE-IN VALUES ARE NOT GONNA BE THAT GOOD NO MATTER HOW MANY “PRO” POINTS YOU HAVE, SO GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, SHITLIZARD. But since lots of movies are shooting for PG-13 and network TV shows usually try to be family friendly, they have to keep it clean. When creators find themselves without those restrictions, they tend to go hog-wild.

So I get it, prestige TV dramas. You get to put on your HBO/Showtime Big Boy Pants, and you naturally want to curse a lot because Mom and Dad aren’t around to tell you no. But do so many characters absolutely need to do it like they’re auditioning for a Rob Zombie film? For example, the sister character Debra is the heart and soul of Dexter, considering the show reminds you at all times that the titular character lacks a heart and soul. But there are ways to illustrate that she’s deep and troubled other than peppering all of her dialogue with curses that make her sound as if she’s just discovered Urban Dictionary. You know, like actually giving her an important role on the show? That’s just my two cents.

It comes up in Game Of Thrones, which desperately wants to be Definitely Not Lord Of The Rings, and Boardwalk Empire, which desperately wanted to be Definitely Not The Godfather, or Deadwood, which desperately wanted to be Definitely Not Renewed For A Fourth Season. I love you, Deadwood. I live and breathe you, Deadwood. But holy shit, it’s hard to market a cowboy show, much less a cowboy show that constantly plays like a Greek tragedy and includes an errant dropping of “fuck” every six seconds.

Compare that (again) to a show like Breaking Bad, which was only allowed one or two F-words per season. When they come, they actually have impact. When Skyler reveals to Walter that she’s sleeping with her boss, it’s “I fucked Ted.” Not “I’ve been messing around with Ted,” or “I let Ted play on my slippery dulcimer, if ya’ know what I mean.” It’s a gut punch. The fact that, realistically, she’d probably say it that way is just icing on the cake.

Some of you might say that these shows use gratuitous nudity in exactly the same way (that is, because they can), but at least beautiful naked people is a selling point. Who’s out there saying, “Man, I’m not crazy about the plot of that show, but some of the cursing is amazing. It gave me a full erection.”

1

Geeky Characters Are Defined Only By Their Ability To Spout Pop Culture References

A lot of people in the world are geeks. Not me. I only talk about Digimon when I’m drunk. But a lot of people are. And you’d think that since “geeky” interests are so commonplace, we’d get more great geeky characters in pop culture. Characters that we see aspects of ourselves in. Sadly, what we do get are shows like Big Bang Theory, or characters like Steve Urkel from Family Matters, Ross Gellar from Friends, Morgan from Chuck, Noah from the Scream TV show, and about 75 percent of the denizens of Kevin Smith movies. These are characters who don’t make geekiness look fun. Instead, they drag it around like a cross, burdened by their own existence.

I would probably relate to more “geeky” film characters if the writers knew how to identify them as geeks without having them bleat like farm animals about Star Wars or Dungeons & Dragons. Either that or they’re like Spencer from Criminal Minds, who refuses to shut up about how his special, powerful, super computer brain works differently from the average brain. He’s supposed to be likable, but I’ve never met a single likable person who went into detail about how much smarter he or she is than most of the population.

It’s like they’re so afraid that we won’t get it unless they crank it up to cartoonish levels. The “funny” control room employee in Jurassic World wears a Jurassic Park shirt with the original movie’s logo on it. That’s great! It builds his character and it adds to the theme of the movie that you probably shouldn’t recklessly commodify prehistoric beasts. But he then explains why he wears that shirt and how much it costs and how much he loved the first Jurassic Park, and any chance we had of identifying with him goes out the window. If I buy a Spider-Man shirt, I don’t go around the mall asking people about their favorite Doctor Octopus moments; I just wear the shirt.

It’s so strange because you’d assume that most writers are themselves geeks, the ones who have to borrow clothes to attend a red carpet premiere and then are kept far away from the cameras. You have to imagine them toiling away on their sitcom pilot thinking, “Hmmm … what would a geek say in this situation? It’s so hard for a cool, sexy beast like me to put myself in their mindset. I know, I’ll have them suddenly speak Klingon.”

Daniel has a Twitter, which he uses as a platform to yell about Pokemon.

Write your own characters’ longcuts with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

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4 Lazy Character Shortcuts Hollywood Can’t Stop Using

The best movie characters are usually the ones whom we sort of identify with. Whether they’re a simple middle-class teenager or a grizzled Matthew McConaughy playing a nihilistic detective trying to find aliens from the future inside a black hole, they work because when they make decisions, we get it. We learn who they are and understand them. Sometimes, though, writers don’t really have time for that shit. Instead, they use some kind of shorthand which (they hope) will have the same profound effect with far less effort. This usually doesn’t work at all. Particularly when …

4

Sudden Sacrifices Are A Substitute For Heroism

What is more powerful than one human being sacrificing their own life to save others, usually to the accompaniment of an orchestra that sounds like it’s about to parade through the screen? You could probably base a whole religion around it. In the world of Hollywood screenwriting, sacrifices can also be written in not to provide a satisfying end to a character’s arc, but to add instant heroism to a character we barely know.

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Why We Can't Take Our Eyes Off The Things We Hate

Kong: Skull Island (which I think is a great movie) includes a bunch of dispensable soldier characters who are tailor-made to be ape food. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m a fan of slasher films, so I have an appreciation for characters who only exist to say “Hey, guys, what was that noise?” But then, while under an assault from mutant reptiles, one of the soldiers, Captain Cole, pulls out two grenades and stares down one of the beasts. The rest of the cast does the typical “NO! DON’T DO THIS!” thing, like the audience is expected to. No, don’t do it, guy with literally two personality traits.

The guy’s plan goes awry and he ends up being a bloodstain on the side of a cliff, but that’s beside the point. The point is … well, what is the point? The sacrifice doesn’t add a dimension to his character, nor does it say anything poignant about him. Instead, it just makes him look like he’s very bad at thinking through decisions. You’re stranded on an island with a monster ape and ubiquitous leviathans, and your plan is to waste yourself and two precious grenades with your patented “Stand there and hope” maneuver?

Of course, they also did this with Superman at the end of Batman v Superman, in a Hail Mary effort to give us some reason to care. They did the same in I Am Legend, in which Will Smith sacrifices himself to maybe blow up some of the zombies, which is such a pointless act that the director’s cut has Will Smith not do that.

And remember Chappie, that Black Mirror episode, but with more decapitations? At the end of that, Ninja — played by Ninja of the rap group Die Antwoord — tries to sacrifice himself in dramatic slow motion, as if the movie is under the impression that we liked his character. He just spent two hours cursing and emotionally abusing a childlike robot. Sacrifice away, idiot.

If they want us to care, they need to scroll backward a few dozen pages in the script and write the character as someone we’ll either be sad to see go or happy to see redeemed. Oh, and the character needs to stay dead.

3

Making A Character Suddenly Badass (In A Way That Makes No Sense)

There’s nothing better than when a badass character gets a badass payoff. My boys in the Dragon Ball franchise are constantly training so that when the time comes, they can triumphantly punch holes through people. This is immensely satisfying because you, the viewer, get to anticipate seeing them use their skills. There is build-up. So it’s baffling whenever “badass” characters either get that way out of nowhere, or are assigned badass traits that don’t fit their progression at all, like if The Karate Kid ended with Daniel challenging Johnny to a snowmobile race.

Take Arya Stark in Game Of Thrones. A big point is made that she’s not built for swordplay. Her cranky travel companion Sandor Clegane points out that her tiny frame and flimsy sword is useless in a gritty fantasy universe full of giant men in armor. Thus, she learns how to work with poisons and magic disguises, leading us to believe that she’ll be pulling off some rad espionage tactics to fool bad guys who could crush her skull like an egg. Instead, within a couple of seasons, Arya becomes Jason Bourne Lite, shrugging off stabbings and doing sweet parkour. Later, she faces off in a practice duel with giant sword master Brienne and outmaneuvers her easily, smirking the whole time.

Regardless of the fact that she is never shown acquiring that level of skill, the problem is that this character is now superhuman and is in no way someone you can identify with.

Writers can’t resist this, even when a lack of combat training is the entire point of a character. This happens in the recent Death Wish remake, in which Bruce Willis, a surgeon, suddenly becomes a mix of Jigsaw and Rambo, all because he lost his family … and he’s a surgeon? This movie had a lot of problems, but at the very least, it could’ve made sense. I can’t claim to know what they teach you at medical school, but I sincerely doubt it involves target practice. I mean, not yet, anyway. But they couldn’t think of any other way to have him beat the bad guys.

And look, I love Harry Potter‘s Neville Longbottom, but the whole point of him is that he’s a clumsy, nerdy boob. He continues to be that for the first seven and a half movies, until his arc completes with him … cutting a giant snake’s head off in slow motion with a sword? Why? At no point in the series are we clamoring for Neville to be the guy who decapitates magic serpents. He’s shown as having talents — specifically, using magical plants — but all of that goes out the window because in the end, being a hero only means being great with traditional fighting techniques.

I’m not saying that Neville should’ve been watering the shrubs while Voldemort was attacking, but maybe give us something more in line with his character. He can be cool without being Conan. Hell, Breaking Bad spent its whole run inventing ways for a sickly chemistry teacher to defeat drug lords who are stronger and more well-armed than he is. They didn’t simply make him suddenly good at ninjutsu.

2

Gritty “Realism” Is Conveyed Through Ceaseless Cursing

People curse in real life. They do it in the car, they do it in the bedroom, they do it when they’re in line at Gamestop and GODDAMN, RICHARD, THE TRADE-IN VALUES ARE NOT GONNA BE THAT GOOD NO MATTER HOW MANY “PRO” POINTS YOU HAVE, SO GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, SHITLIZARD. But since lots of movies are shooting for PG-13 and network TV shows usually try to be family friendly, they have to keep it clean. When creators find themselves without those restrictions, they tend to go hog-wild.

So I get it, prestige TV dramas. You get to put on your HBO/Showtime Big Boy Pants, and you naturally want to curse a lot because Mom and Dad aren’t around to tell you no. But do so many characters absolutely need to do it like they’re auditioning for a Rob Zombie film? For example, the sister character Debra is the heart and soul of Dexter, considering the show reminds you at all times that the titular character lacks a heart and soul. But there are ways to illustrate that she’s deep and troubled other than peppering all of her dialogue with curses that make her sound as if she’s just discovered Urban Dictionary. You know, like actually giving her an important role on the show? That’s just my two cents.

It comes up in Game Of Thrones, which desperately wants to be Definitely Not Lord Of The Rings, and Boardwalk Empire, which desperately wanted to be Definitely Not The Godfather, or Deadwood, which desperately wanted to be Definitely Not Renewed For A Fourth Season. I love you, Deadwood. I live and breathe you, Deadwood. But holy shit, it’s hard to market a cowboy show, much less a cowboy show that constantly plays like a Greek tragedy and includes an errant dropping of “fuck” every six seconds.

Compare that (again) to a show like Breaking Bad, which was only allowed one or two F-words per season. When they come, they actually have impact. When Skyler reveals to Walter that she’s sleeping with her boss, it’s “I fucked Ted.” Not “I’ve been messing around with Ted,” or “I let Ted play on my slippery dulcimer, if ya’ know what I mean.” It’s a gut punch. The fact that, realistically, she’d probably say it that way is just icing on the cake.

Some of you might say that these shows use gratuitous nudity in exactly the same way (that is, because they can), but at least beautiful naked people is a selling point. Who’s out there saying, “Man, I’m not crazy about the plot of that show, but some of the cursing is amazing. It gave me a full erection.”

1

Geeky Characters Are Defined Only By Their Ability To Spout Pop Culture References

A lot of people in the world are geeks. Not me. I only talk about Digimon when I’m drunk. But a lot of people are. And you’d think that since “geeky” interests are so commonplace, we’d get more great geeky characters in pop culture. Characters that we see aspects of ourselves in. Sadly, what we do get are shows like Big Bang Theory, or characters like Steve Urkel from Family Matters, Ross Gellar from Friends, Morgan from Chuck, Noah from the Scream TV show, and about 75 percent of the denizens of Kevin Smith movies. These are characters who don’t make geekiness look fun. Instead, they drag it around like a cross, burdened by their own existence.

I would probably relate to more “geeky” film characters if the writers knew how to identify them as geeks without having them bleat like farm animals about Star Wars or Dungeons & Dragons. Either that or they’re like Spencer from Criminal Minds, who refuses to shut up about how his special, powerful, super computer brain works differently from the average brain. He’s supposed to be likable, but I’ve never met a single likable person who went into detail about how much smarter he or she is than most of the population.

It’s like they’re so afraid that we won’t get it unless they crank it up to cartoonish levels. The “funny” control room employee in Jurassic World wears a Jurassic Park shirt with the original movie’s logo on it. That’s great! It builds his character and it adds to the theme of the movie that you probably shouldn’t recklessly commodify prehistoric beasts. But he then explains why he wears that shirt and how much it costs and how much he loved the first Jurassic Park, and any chance we had of identifying with him goes out the window. If I buy a Spider-Man shirt, I don’t go around the mall asking people about their favorite Doctor Octopus moments; I just wear the shirt.

It’s so strange because you’d assume that most writers are themselves geeks, the ones who have to borrow clothes to attend a red carpet premiere and then are kept far away from the cameras. You have to imagine them toiling away on their sitcom pilot thinking, “Hmmm … what would a geek say in this situation? It’s so hard for a cool, sexy beast like me to put myself in their mindset. I know, I’ll have them suddenly speak Klingon.”

Daniel has a Twitter, which he uses as a platform to yell about Pokemon.

Write your own characters’ longcuts with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more Hollywood hacks, check out Lazy Hollywood Shortcuts, Explained With Diagrams and 22 Movie Cliches That Just Won’t Die.

Following us on Facebook is an instant +12 to Nerd Cred.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-lazy-character-shortcuts-hollywood-cant-stop-using/

from Viral News HQ https://ift.tt/2HMsLeW via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ